Return to Naboo Part 5
Author's notes: Thank you, everyone, who is reading and reviewing. I really enjoy getting the feedback. Sorry it's taken me so long to get this part posted, but my family has been home on spring break this week and we've been busy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it..
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, etc.
Anakin wandered the halls of the lake retreat, unable to sleep. Everywhere he could hear ghostly echoes of the past. His and Padme's voices-lightly teasing one another, throbbing with passion, filled with intense resolve. He almost expected to see her around every corner.
He felt overwhelmed both by bittersweet memories and by his current fear for his family. He had almost lost Luke that day. He could have lost both twins the day before. His mind shrank from those terrible possibilities. He couldn't survive without his children. They were his reason for living. Without them he could not face the daily pressure of coping with the horrible deeds he had committed.
Luke in particular was his great comfort. The only one who truly understood him and never looked at him with any hint of fear or revulsion. He loved both his children equally, but he couldn't help feeling closer to his son. Luke was truly part of his soul.
He hoped that he would feel as close to Leia one day, too. She was trying to overcome her past memories of him, and he knew it wasn't easy for her. Like him, she had a hard time forgiving anyone who hurt her loved ones. He hadn't told her because he knew she wouldn't appreciate it, but he saw a lot of himself in his daughter. They both had passionate natures, quick tempers, and a tendency to hold grudges. Fortunately, Leia had also inherited Padme's compassion for others, a sense of responsibility, and a strong knowledge of right and wrong. She had already given him far more than he deserved.
They all had. His children had wonderful friends. He had wonderful friends, he realized. Han, Lando, and Chewbacca had also accepted him into their group, and for that he had the utmost respect and admiration, even though he was bewildered by their acceptance. They didn't even have the tie of blood kinship with him. They had accepted him purely for his children's sakes.
He vowed he would do everything in his power to protect them all.
But how? Miret was their number one suspect, but they couldn't be sure he was to blame. On their way to the retreat, they had discussed the evidence against him.
Luke and Anakin had felt strong feelings from Miret upon their first meeting. Then again, many people had confusing feelings upon meeting Anakin.
Miret had arranged for the museum to be closed to the public during their visit, but that didn't necessarily mean he had programmed the battle droids to attack.
Luke's near drowning was the most puzzling event. They all felt certain he must have been drugged, probably at lunch. Miret would have had the opportunity, but so had others-from the cook, to the servants, to King Tripday himself.
As Han had pointed out, it was pretty flimsy evidence. Nothing that would stand up in court. The one thing that would have been proof , in Anakin's mind at least, would have been Miret's shock at seeing Luke alive after the near-drowning experience. Unfortunately, 3PO had run into the aide and told him all about Master Luke's "accident" and rescue before they had had a chance to spring Luke on Miret. By the time they had seen him face to face, Miret had had time to mask any surprise or anger. Anakin was trying hard not to be too annoyed at the droid, who was almost comical in his regret.
Part of Anakin wanted to be back in Theed, helping with the investigation. But he also wanted the rest of the family out of harm's way. He had tentatively suggested that the twins and Han go on to the lake retreat without him, but they had firmly vetoed that idea. Either they all stayed in Theed together or they all went. Anakin hadn't put up too much of an argument. Even more than he wanted to find the culprit, he wanted to be at his children's side to protect them. That was why he roamed the halls long after everyone else was asleep. He was afraid that if he slept, he would awaken to find that something terrible had happened during the night.
It might be just as well if he weren't around when the perpetrator was named. It frightened him, but Anakin could feel deep anger stirring inside him when he thought of someone hurting his children.
//A Jedi knows no anger.// he reminded himself to no avail. How could he not be angry at someone trying to kill his son or his daughter? But his anger frightened him because he didn't know if he could deal with it appropriately. If he knew for certain who had programmed the battle droids to attack the twins or who had tossed Luke into the river like so much garbage, could he keep from striking out? He had promised himself he would never fall to the darkness again, but now he didn't trust himself. And if he did lash out at the attacker, was he doomed to becoming Darth Vader again?
//No!// he slammed the door on those thoughts. He would never become a monster again.
He paused to look out a nearby window. Outside moonlight shimmered peacefully on the still lake waters. Inside Anakin Skywalker roamed the halls and wrestled with his own troubling thoughts.
To everyone's surprise, the next week passed without incident. They swam in the lake and rode the gondola, took long walks and raced STAP bikes. It rained one day and they built a fire in the library and sat talking around it for hours. Anakin briefly remembered declaring his love for Padme around another fire in that very room, but the laughter and camaraderie brought him back to the present.
"When is the last time we spent a whole day just sitting around together talking?" Leia asked. She and Han were sitting side by side on the sofa. Contentedly she rested her head on his shoulder, and he tightened his arm around her.
Luke watched them with a smile. He was pleased by the relationship that had developed between his sister and best friend. Now that they no longer sniped at everything, Han and Leia seemed to bring out the best in each other. He wondered if they were ready to think about marriage. //Mind your own business, Luke.// he cautioned himself. Aloud he answered, "I remember right after we settled on Hoth one day none of us was on duty and we stayed on the Falcon because it was the warmest place. We played sabaac and talked most of the day."
"I remember that," Leia commented.
"I remember you insisted on going outside and building a snowman," Han grumbled.
Luke grinned. "I'd never seen snow before Hoth. I was very intrigued by it."
"Well, I guess our little camping trip in a blizzard cured that," Han joked.
"Don't even joke about it," Leia shuddered. "You two nearly froze to death."
Anakin had been listening to them reminisce with a smile. He enjoyed learning about their past when he wasn't consumed with guilt for missing it, but at this, he looked concerned. "You went camping on Hoth?"
"Not intentionally," Luke assured him. "I was attacked by a Wampa and lost in a blizzard. Han came after me. He found me in time, obviously, but we had to spend the night in a makeshift shelter. We were lucky to survive."
Anakin turned to Han. "I realize this is belated, but thank you, Han. In fact, I want to thank you for all the times you looked out for Luke and Leia. It's painful to admit, but you were usually protecting them from me. I'm sorry. I want all of you to know how sorry I am."
"Father-" Luke began.
Leia opened her mouth to speak.
Han cut them both off. "Anakin, you've already apologized to us. Many times. When we said we forgave you, we meant it. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for our sakes."
Anakin bowed his head. "I don't deserve forgiveness from any of you. But I am grateful. And I'm grateful you've allowed me to be part of this family. You may not believe me, but I've craved having a family all my life."
Luke went to him and took his father's hands in his own. "You have us now, Father. For always."
Several days later Leia was on the terrace gazing at the sunset when her brother came to join her. "Where's Han?" he asked after a moment. The two of them were rarely apart these days.
"I think he's taking a nap. We sat up late and watched the stars last night."
Luke grinned at her. "Oh?"
"Yes," Leia replied primly. Then she broke down and giggled. Luke was pleased to see her so happy. Ever since Endor, even with the pressure of establishing the New Republic, she had been more carefree and joyful than he had ever seen her before. Once again he thought how good she and Han were for each other.
"So," he asked, "You and Han are pretty serious, hmmm?"
"We love each other," she said softly.
Luke leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'm so happy for both of you."
They stood in contented silence for a moment. Then Leia glanced around. Wherever Luke was, Anakin was usually there, too. "Where's Father?"
"Cooking dinner. I still can't believe he likes to cook. Can you imagine him as Vader, puttering around a kitchen?" In spite of themselves, they both laughed.
Leia noted that it was the first time she had heard the name "Vader" without inwardly flinching. She wondered if that were a good or bad thing. Perhaps neither, she decided. She hated what her father had done in the past, but the past was over. It was time for her family to move on. It was the only way to heal.
Luke must have been thinking along the same lines because he said, "You seem more relaxed around Father lately."
"I'm getting there," she agreed. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said, about how Father really did want what was best for the galaxy in the long run, misguided though he was. And the more I'm around him, the more I can see how remorseful he is. He wants to make up for the things he did, to us and to others. I guess I'm beginning to believe he ought to have that chance. Besides, he has saved my best friend's life twice now." She touched his hand.
"Thanks," Luke smiled at her. "Yes, I'm lucky Father was there, and that he's good at levitation." He hesitated. They had approached this subject before, and Leia was not as enthusiastic as he'd hoped she would be. "You know, Leia, now that things are a little more settled, you ought to have more free time."
Suddenly suspicious, she looked over sharply. "Free time for what?"
"For learning to use your gift. You're very strong in the Force, Leia. You could be a great Jedi."
Leia sighed. Luke was so devoted to being a Jedi. He was going to have a hard time understanding her feelings. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she had very mixed emotions about using the Force herself. "Luke, I'm just not sure I want to pursue that right now. Being Vice-Chancellor is a full-time job, and the free time I do have I want to spend with Han and you and the others. I don't want to spend every waking moment working and training."
"You wouldn't have to spend every moment training, Leia," Luke argued. "You could begin to work on it a little now, and maybe later on, you could take time off from your political duties to concentrate on it."
Leia shook her head. "I don't want to take time off from political duties, Luke. You said Force sensitivity is a gift. Maybe it is, but I also think my political skills are a gift, and I think that's what I need to devote myself to right now. The galaxy needs a fair, democratic government just as much as it needs Jedi."
Luke frowned slightly. Leia had a point, but she was so strong in the Force. She couldn't let that go to waste. "You could make time for training if you wanted to, Leia."
There was a long silence as Luke's words hung in the air. Finally, Leia spoke. "I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I don't think I want to be a Jedi."
"Why not?" Luke was shocked.
Leia tried to sort through her thoughts and chose the right words to make her brother understand. "Well, first of all, I just told you. Being Vice-Chancellor will take a lot of my time and attention. The rest of it is going to my family, not to Jedi training. But I suppose another reason would be that I'm afraid. The greater the gift, the greater potential for its misuse. Father is the classic example of that. I'm not afraid of you falling to the dark side. You were tempted so strongly at Endor and resisted. I don't think you'll face another crisis like that. I'm not afraid of Father turning again, either. He's learned from the past. But I'm not sure about myself. Several times Father has said how much your personality is like Mother's, kind and understanding and generous. And he's right. But I've noticed he doesn't say that about me. And he's right again. I'm not like you, Luke. I'm not naturally forgiving. It doesn't come easily for me."
"Leia, it wasn't easy for me to forgive Father," Luke protested. "You saw how I was after Bespin."
She tried to explain further. "I didn't mean that it was easy for you, not exactly. I suppose the actual decision of whether or not to forgive him was just as difficult for you. But once you decided to forgive, you were able to do it wholeheartedly. As far as I can tell, you don't seem to have any lingering resentment towards him. You're able to understand him and love him unconditionally. It's much harder for me to accept him."
"But I'm getting off the subject. My point is, I think my personality is more like Father's. I don't think I would turn to the dark side. I hope I wouldn't. But I'm afraid to take that chance."
"Luke, please try to understand. I couldn't bear it if you were angry with me." She looked at him almost pleadingly.
Luke looked at her anxious face and reached out to hug her. "I'm not angry with you, Leia. I don't understand, but I'll think about what you said and try not to pressure you. I can't help but hope you'll change your mind. And just for the record, I'm not worried that you would turn to the dark side. I think there's a lot of Mother in you, too."
Just then Anakin's voice rang out, calling them to dinner. The twins went inside, their arms still wrapped around each other.
Author's notes: Thank you, everyone, who is reading and reviewing. I really enjoy getting the feedback. Sorry it's taken me so long to get this part posted, but my family has been home on spring break this week and we've been busy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it..
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, etc.
Anakin wandered the halls of the lake retreat, unable to sleep. Everywhere he could hear ghostly echoes of the past. His and Padme's voices-lightly teasing one another, throbbing with passion, filled with intense resolve. He almost expected to see her around every corner.
He felt overwhelmed both by bittersweet memories and by his current fear for his family. He had almost lost Luke that day. He could have lost both twins the day before. His mind shrank from those terrible possibilities. He couldn't survive without his children. They were his reason for living. Without them he could not face the daily pressure of coping with the horrible deeds he had committed.
Luke in particular was his great comfort. The only one who truly understood him and never looked at him with any hint of fear or revulsion. He loved both his children equally, but he couldn't help feeling closer to his son. Luke was truly part of his soul.
He hoped that he would feel as close to Leia one day, too. She was trying to overcome her past memories of him, and he knew it wasn't easy for her. Like him, she had a hard time forgiving anyone who hurt her loved ones. He hadn't told her because he knew she wouldn't appreciate it, but he saw a lot of himself in his daughter. They both had passionate natures, quick tempers, and a tendency to hold grudges. Fortunately, Leia had also inherited Padme's compassion for others, a sense of responsibility, and a strong knowledge of right and wrong. She had already given him far more than he deserved.
They all had. His children had wonderful friends. He had wonderful friends, he realized. Han, Lando, and Chewbacca had also accepted him into their group, and for that he had the utmost respect and admiration, even though he was bewildered by their acceptance. They didn't even have the tie of blood kinship with him. They had accepted him purely for his children's sakes.
He vowed he would do everything in his power to protect them all.
But how? Miret was their number one suspect, but they couldn't be sure he was to blame. On their way to the retreat, they had discussed the evidence against him.
Luke and Anakin had felt strong feelings from Miret upon their first meeting. Then again, many people had confusing feelings upon meeting Anakin.
Miret had arranged for the museum to be closed to the public during their visit, but that didn't necessarily mean he had programmed the battle droids to attack.
Luke's near drowning was the most puzzling event. They all felt certain he must have been drugged, probably at lunch. Miret would have had the opportunity, but so had others-from the cook, to the servants, to King Tripday himself.
As Han had pointed out, it was pretty flimsy evidence. Nothing that would stand up in court. The one thing that would have been proof , in Anakin's mind at least, would have been Miret's shock at seeing Luke alive after the near-drowning experience. Unfortunately, 3PO had run into the aide and told him all about Master Luke's "accident" and rescue before they had had a chance to spring Luke on Miret. By the time they had seen him face to face, Miret had had time to mask any surprise or anger. Anakin was trying hard not to be too annoyed at the droid, who was almost comical in his regret.
Part of Anakin wanted to be back in Theed, helping with the investigation. But he also wanted the rest of the family out of harm's way. He had tentatively suggested that the twins and Han go on to the lake retreat without him, but they had firmly vetoed that idea. Either they all stayed in Theed together or they all went. Anakin hadn't put up too much of an argument. Even more than he wanted to find the culprit, he wanted to be at his children's side to protect them. That was why he roamed the halls long after everyone else was asleep. He was afraid that if he slept, he would awaken to find that something terrible had happened during the night.
It might be just as well if he weren't around when the perpetrator was named. It frightened him, but Anakin could feel deep anger stirring inside him when he thought of someone hurting his children.
//A Jedi knows no anger.// he reminded himself to no avail. How could he not be angry at someone trying to kill his son or his daughter? But his anger frightened him because he didn't know if he could deal with it appropriately. If he knew for certain who had programmed the battle droids to attack the twins or who had tossed Luke into the river like so much garbage, could he keep from striking out? He had promised himself he would never fall to the darkness again, but now he didn't trust himself. And if he did lash out at the attacker, was he doomed to becoming Darth Vader again?
//No!// he slammed the door on those thoughts. He would never become a monster again.
He paused to look out a nearby window. Outside moonlight shimmered peacefully on the still lake waters. Inside Anakin Skywalker roamed the halls and wrestled with his own troubling thoughts.
To everyone's surprise, the next week passed without incident. They swam in the lake and rode the gondola, took long walks and raced STAP bikes. It rained one day and they built a fire in the library and sat talking around it for hours. Anakin briefly remembered declaring his love for Padme around another fire in that very room, but the laughter and camaraderie brought him back to the present.
"When is the last time we spent a whole day just sitting around together talking?" Leia asked. She and Han were sitting side by side on the sofa. Contentedly she rested her head on his shoulder, and he tightened his arm around her.
Luke watched them with a smile. He was pleased by the relationship that had developed between his sister and best friend. Now that they no longer sniped at everything, Han and Leia seemed to bring out the best in each other. He wondered if they were ready to think about marriage. //Mind your own business, Luke.// he cautioned himself. Aloud he answered, "I remember right after we settled on Hoth one day none of us was on duty and we stayed on the Falcon because it was the warmest place. We played sabaac and talked most of the day."
"I remember that," Leia commented.
"I remember you insisted on going outside and building a snowman," Han grumbled.
Luke grinned. "I'd never seen snow before Hoth. I was very intrigued by it."
"Well, I guess our little camping trip in a blizzard cured that," Han joked.
"Don't even joke about it," Leia shuddered. "You two nearly froze to death."
Anakin had been listening to them reminisce with a smile. He enjoyed learning about their past when he wasn't consumed with guilt for missing it, but at this, he looked concerned. "You went camping on Hoth?"
"Not intentionally," Luke assured him. "I was attacked by a Wampa and lost in a blizzard. Han came after me. He found me in time, obviously, but we had to spend the night in a makeshift shelter. We were lucky to survive."
Anakin turned to Han. "I realize this is belated, but thank you, Han. In fact, I want to thank you for all the times you looked out for Luke and Leia. It's painful to admit, but you were usually protecting them from me. I'm sorry. I want all of you to know how sorry I am."
"Father-" Luke began.
Leia opened her mouth to speak.
Han cut them both off. "Anakin, you've already apologized to us. Many times. When we said we forgave you, we meant it. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for our sakes."
Anakin bowed his head. "I don't deserve forgiveness from any of you. But I am grateful. And I'm grateful you've allowed me to be part of this family. You may not believe me, but I've craved having a family all my life."
Luke went to him and took his father's hands in his own. "You have us now, Father. For always."
Several days later Leia was on the terrace gazing at the sunset when her brother came to join her. "Where's Han?" he asked after a moment. The two of them were rarely apart these days.
"I think he's taking a nap. We sat up late and watched the stars last night."
Luke grinned at her. "Oh?"
"Yes," Leia replied primly. Then she broke down and giggled. Luke was pleased to see her so happy. Ever since Endor, even with the pressure of establishing the New Republic, she had been more carefree and joyful than he had ever seen her before. Once again he thought how good she and Han were for each other.
"So," he asked, "You and Han are pretty serious, hmmm?"
"We love each other," she said softly.
Luke leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I'm so happy for both of you."
They stood in contented silence for a moment. Then Leia glanced around. Wherever Luke was, Anakin was usually there, too. "Where's Father?"
"Cooking dinner. I still can't believe he likes to cook. Can you imagine him as Vader, puttering around a kitchen?" In spite of themselves, they both laughed.
Leia noted that it was the first time she had heard the name "Vader" without inwardly flinching. She wondered if that were a good or bad thing. Perhaps neither, she decided. She hated what her father had done in the past, but the past was over. It was time for her family to move on. It was the only way to heal.
Luke must have been thinking along the same lines because he said, "You seem more relaxed around Father lately."
"I'm getting there," she agreed. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said, about how Father really did want what was best for the galaxy in the long run, misguided though he was. And the more I'm around him, the more I can see how remorseful he is. He wants to make up for the things he did, to us and to others. I guess I'm beginning to believe he ought to have that chance. Besides, he has saved my best friend's life twice now." She touched his hand.
"Thanks," Luke smiled at her. "Yes, I'm lucky Father was there, and that he's good at levitation." He hesitated. They had approached this subject before, and Leia was not as enthusiastic as he'd hoped she would be. "You know, Leia, now that things are a little more settled, you ought to have more free time."
Suddenly suspicious, she looked over sharply. "Free time for what?"
"For learning to use your gift. You're very strong in the Force, Leia. You could be a great Jedi."
Leia sighed. Luke was so devoted to being a Jedi. He was going to have a hard time understanding her feelings. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she had very mixed emotions about using the Force herself. "Luke, I'm just not sure I want to pursue that right now. Being Vice-Chancellor is a full-time job, and the free time I do have I want to spend with Han and you and the others. I don't want to spend every waking moment working and training."
"You wouldn't have to spend every moment training, Leia," Luke argued. "You could begin to work on it a little now, and maybe later on, you could take time off from your political duties to concentrate on it."
Leia shook her head. "I don't want to take time off from political duties, Luke. You said Force sensitivity is a gift. Maybe it is, but I also think my political skills are a gift, and I think that's what I need to devote myself to right now. The galaxy needs a fair, democratic government just as much as it needs Jedi."
Luke frowned slightly. Leia had a point, but she was so strong in the Force. She couldn't let that go to waste. "You could make time for training if you wanted to, Leia."
There was a long silence as Luke's words hung in the air. Finally, Leia spoke. "I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I don't think I want to be a Jedi."
"Why not?" Luke was shocked.
Leia tried to sort through her thoughts and chose the right words to make her brother understand. "Well, first of all, I just told you. Being Vice-Chancellor will take a lot of my time and attention. The rest of it is going to my family, not to Jedi training. But I suppose another reason would be that I'm afraid. The greater the gift, the greater potential for its misuse. Father is the classic example of that. I'm not afraid of you falling to the dark side. You were tempted so strongly at Endor and resisted. I don't think you'll face another crisis like that. I'm not afraid of Father turning again, either. He's learned from the past. But I'm not sure about myself. Several times Father has said how much your personality is like Mother's, kind and understanding and generous. And he's right. But I've noticed he doesn't say that about me. And he's right again. I'm not like you, Luke. I'm not naturally forgiving. It doesn't come easily for me."
"Leia, it wasn't easy for me to forgive Father," Luke protested. "You saw how I was after Bespin."
She tried to explain further. "I didn't mean that it was easy for you, not exactly. I suppose the actual decision of whether or not to forgive him was just as difficult for you. But once you decided to forgive, you were able to do it wholeheartedly. As far as I can tell, you don't seem to have any lingering resentment towards him. You're able to understand him and love him unconditionally. It's much harder for me to accept him."
"But I'm getting off the subject. My point is, I think my personality is more like Father's. I don't think I would turn to the dark side. I hope I wouldn't. But I'm afraid to take that chance."
"Luke, please try to understand. I couldn't bear it if you were angry with me." She looked at him almost pleadingly.
Luke looked at her anxious face and reached out to hug her. "I'm not angry with you, Leia. I don't understand, but I'll think about what you said and try not to pressure you. I can't help but hope you'll change your mind. And just for the record, I'm not worried that you would turn to the dark side. I think there's a lot of Mother in you, too."
Just then Anakin's voice rang out, calling them to dinner. The twins went inside, their arms still wrapped around each other.