Chapter 3

A/N—I guess I'm expanding this story. I didn't plan to originally, but hey, why the hell not?

Summary: Phone calls and dreams.

"Did you call her?" Fred asked.

"No." Spike wasn't in the mood for talking, and he kept walking, not bothering to even looking at the girl trailing after him.

"Why not?"

Spike didn't answer. He wasn't in the mood to try to explain himself, and didn't feel that he had to.

"Where are you going?" She asked as he reached the lobby doors.

"Out."

"Out?" She said the word as though it was completely foreign and had never passed over her lips. "But it's still day light."

"I don't think it'll hurt."

Fred grabbed his arm and spun him around, surprising both of them with her show of strength. "You are not leaving. We don't know what you are. The sun could kill you."

Spike shrugged. "Been dead a few times. S'not so bad."

"Just…let's go get something to eat," Fred suggested. "A cup of coffee."

"I'm not hungry." Impatience and anger shadowed his voice, and Fred gulped. The last thing she needed was to piss of Spike. Though Angel assured them that Spike was safe, there was still a hard knot of fear in the pit of her stomach every time she got close to him. It wasn't so much that she thought Spike was hurt her, but rather that he represented something…unknown. She couldn't figure him out. He was a mystery.

"Can't you at least wait for Angel?"

"Angel can't come with me. Why do you care anyway?"

Fred faltered, unsure of how to answer. Spike didn't wait for her to figure it out. Instead, he threw himself on one of the nearby chairs, legs sprawled in front of him, head thrown back. "I'm bloody bored!" He shouted.

Only bored wasn't quite the right word. Restless. He was restless. And confused. And upset. And frustrated. And lost.

While Spike wasn't paying attention, Fred motioned for the receptionist to call Angel. Within minutes, Angel was making his way through the lobby towards a flustered Fred and a motionless Spike.

"What are you doing down here?"

"Leaving," Spike answered without looking up.

"Did you call her?"

"What bloody business of it is yours?" Spike snarled.

"You shouldn't leave when the sun is up."

"Yeah, I've been warned."

"Why didn't you call her?"

Spike jumped up and moved back towards the elevators. The building was huge, with plenty of space and things to do. He could just disappear until Angel lost interest.

"I asked you a question!" Angel called after him.

Spike froze and turned around slowly, anger shining brightly in his azure eyes. "I am not one of your lackeys," he said slowly. "I do not work for you. Keep that in mind."

Angel's only acknowledgement was a slight nod, and Spike moved back towards the elevators. Angel watched him go without stopping him. What a mess.

~*~

Buffy sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath, and reaching for the phone. She didn't notice the tears in her eyes, and she didn't bother to catch her breath before dialing Giles' number.

"Yes? Yes hello?" Giles greeted, his voice thick with sleep.

"Giles? I've had that dream again."

"Do you want me to come over?" He was immediately awake, concern for Buffy outweighing his need for sleep.

"No, but we're leaving tomorrow."

"Buffy, we can't just pack up and leave like that. We have…"

"Giles," she interrupted, "Willow and Kennedy can handle the girls here. It's time we move on anyway."

"Where are we going, Buffy?"

She paused, her silence all the answer he needed.

"Buffy, we can't go back to the crater. There's nothing there."

"There is," she insisted, "Or I would stop dreaming about it."

"Buffy, the crater was the scene of a horrific battle and loss for all of us. It's natural that it haunts your dreams."

"What about the other part?"

"Spike? Buffy, it's only natural you dream about him coming back. Didn't you dream about Joyce returning after she died?"

"Yes," Buffy admitted softly. "But this is different."

"How?"

"They feel like Slayer dreams."

Giles sighed, "I usually trust your instincts and dreams, but I think the pain might be a bit too fresh for you to see clearly. Returning to the crater is not going to make this easier on you."

Buffy didn't feel like arguing, and she didn't bother pointing out that she didn't need Giles' permission to go to the crater, or anywhere else. She called him and informed him of her intentions only as a courtesy, and it wouldn't break her heart if she had to go by herself. It did upset her though that Giles was so willing to brush off her feelings.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." She hung up the phone before he could respond.

Buffy knew it wasn't just grief or pain causing her to be delusional, to have false-hopes. She knew the difference between regular dreams and Slayer dreams, and she knew something felt…off somehow. Like there was something wrong with the Universe, everything was a bit off kilter. She could feel it in her gut.


But she couldn't explain it, so nobody understood it. In Buffy's mind, time had been divided between then, now, and the in-between. Then Spike was alive, and that had a certain feeling. The in-between was after Spike sacrificed himself—and it could only be described as an empty time. Everything seemed completely empty, devoid of meaning. Now was altogether different, and had been for the past six weeks. It was almost as if…But Buffy didn't allow herself to finish that thought.

She had felt drawn to the crater for the past six weeks, and everybody always had a reason to keep her away. But the feeling had not subsided. If anything, it was more intense due to the extremely vivid dreams. All of them included three crucial elements, the Hellmouth before Spike died, the crater after, and Spike. Only, Spike was completely different.

The memory of the dream gnawed at the back of her brain, constantly, and no matter what she did, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something important. No matter what she was doing, or where she was, the dreams weren't far from her thoughts.

Maybe Giles was right, maybe going to the crater wasn't her best option at the moment. But there was no reason she couldn't go to LA. Angel had a whole word of knowledge at his fingertips, and a huge staff to research any obscure point of knowledge she would need. It would be a good place to start, anyway.

And it would be good to take a break. Finding, organizing, and training the girls just wasn't any fun. Beating and killing things, that was fun. But ever since the final battle in Sunnydale, she's been pulled from active duty. They didn't want her to patrol anymore, no matter where they were at or what they were doing. Boring was not a strong enough word.

The question of the year seemed to be what do we do now, Buffy? Buffy didn't know the answer, but she pretended she did. She would have to find a place to settle down soon, so Dawn could finish high school. She would still have to find a job somewhere, maybe even start a career. She should go back to school. Of course, she couldn't do any of this without money. She didn't have money. She didn't have anything. Fortunately, Xander, Giles, and Wood had some money saved away that could be used to buy at least a change of clothes. Buffy felt very uncomfortable taking their money, but it was that or starve.

Buffy hated that she had to rely on them, and she hated that it looked like she would have to ask Angel to pull some strings for her so she could get a job. She shouldn't have to depend on them like that, she was supposed to be an adult. But she still felt as though she had no real life-skills to speak of. Being super strong was nice, but it didn't help when it was time to live in the real world. To have that normal life.

A normal life? She didn't have the necessary equipment to deal with a normal life. Buffy figured it was all a giant joke, and the last laugh was on her. She was told all her life, by everybody, that what she really wanted was to be normal and she had totally agreed with that. Now she had her chance, it wasn't all that it had been cracked up to be.

Buffy got out of bed, and grabbed her suitcase. She knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, and she wanted to get an early start. Fortunately, there wasn't much to pack. She would stop on the way to LA to pick up Dawn, who was helping Xander find a Slayer in Salt Lake City. Then she and Dawn could make a plan for their future, and she could rehearse the speech she would give to Angel.

And when she wasn't worried sick over her future, she'd begin researching what was up with Spike.

~*~

Spike was sitting in Angel's office, perusing an ancient book about the afterlife when the phone rang. He ignored it and Angel completely until he heard his name. Spike looked up, and Angel was gesturing at him to pick up the second phone.

"Are you sure?" It was her voice, and it hit like a boot to the groin.

"I am," Angel lied. "Why?"

"I just have a feeling. I keep dreaming about him. Slayer dreams."

"Anything specific?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. Look, I'm going to pick up Dawn and come for a visit. You cool with that?"

"Sure. Is this just about Spike?"

She sighed, "No. It's not. Gotta get my life together. Time to be a grown up."

"I'll help…"

She interrupted him, "We'll talk about it when I get there. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

"We have plenty of room. See you in about a week then?"

"If not sooner."

"Great."

"Thanks Angel."

"No problem."

Click.

They sat in silence for a very long time. Finally Angel broke it.

"You should have called her."