TITLE: Over her (13/?)
PART: Responsibility
AUTHOR: Gabriele Schulz
EMAIL: gabi@gschulz.de
RATING: PG (might go up)
DISTRIBUTION: Everyone who has my general permission. Others please ask first.
SPOILERS: Up to Selfless
FEEDBACK: Love it. Especially if you like the story ;-)
SUMMARY: On Buffy's 25th birthday Giles visits Sunnydale, finally over her. Or so he thinks.
COUPLES: Buffy/Giles, Willow/Anya, Dawn/OC (male), mention of Wesley/Faith, Cordelia/Angel
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights.
DATE: 02/24-27/03
--------------------------
"I'm home."
Nobody answered Buffy. She got out of her jacket and hung it next to Giles', before going to the kitchen. There was a note by Dawn letting her know that she'd meet Jack and eat with him.
Buffy went upstairs calling out for Giles.
"I'm here."
She opened the door to his room and found him sitting among his suitcases and their content.
"You do pack like me."
He looked up and glared at her.
"Do you want me to help you?"
She could see the slight hesitation in his eyes and how his gaze went over the spread items and guessed that he preferred not to have her go through his stuff.
"You better do it yourself. Would be a bit impractical if you want to go out and fight some demon and can't find your pants."
"Unless the strategy was to make it laugh."
Buffy didn't think that Giles without pants would be a laughing matter, but she surely wasn't going to bring that up. She sat down on his bed.
"Dawn's with Jack tonight, so it looks like it's just the two of us. Do you have any preference on how to be poisoned?"
He turned from the cupboard to her smiling.
"Anything will do. Actually I don't think there's time." He checked his watch. "I promised Anya and Willow to pick up Harris before the Magic Box closes and I wanted to stay there this evening to research a demon that Spike killed last night."
"Is he all right?"
There was a slight hesitation before Giles answered.
"The demon didn't hurt him very much."
The way he said it implied that something else did though.
"Xander?"
"Yes, we talked about him. And other things. England, football, demons... a lot of things."
"He's lonely."
"That he is."
There was a harshness in his voice that made her look up.
"It's my fault."
"Why on earth would you be responsible for his loneliness?"
"He's lonely because he's a vampire with a soul. And he got his soul because of me. Ergo, he's lonely because of me."
"It is *not* your fault, because Spike is the only one who's responsible for his deeds. We do the most foolish things for love. They cannot be ascribed to the person we love. Loving does not absolve us from thinking about what we do. The consequences are still ours."
Buffy watched him, not quite sure how to answer.
"I'm not saying that we're not responsible. When he chained me up or when he tried to rape me... That was his fault. I was the cause, but not responsible. But getting a soul was a good thing, right?"
"I see. Your love made him a better man - literally."
"Giles? Do you want to fight with me?"
He was taken aback by this, but went on.
"No, I don't. This isn't about you at all. It's about Spike. I like him. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do and it pains me to see him like this, in a self-imposed prison."
"But it's not self-imposed! He tried to meet people. But it's not easy to explain why you can't come to lunch or need an explicit invitation to enter a house. And who's ever heard of a garlic allergy?"
"So it was right of him to give up and celebrate a lonely life basking in the shine of the past?"
"Tell me what he should do. Or tell him. If it's his fault and he's doing everything wrong, you must have alternatives. What should he do?"
"Change!"
"What?"
"His life. If he cannot find what he's looking for here, then he should go away and look for it elsewhere. There are places in the world where the fight against evil is fought in the open. He'd be a hero."
"And he isn't now? He's fighting demons, protecting the innocent. Besides he wouldn't know anyone. Here at least he has..."
"You."
"Us."
"I think he needs to leave you. He's still in love with you."
"He knows that I don't return his love."
"Intellectually he might know. Maybe his heart does, too, but his life still revolves around you. Sometimes we love someone so much that our every move, every decision that we make are because of that person. And that's not healthy. That is not how love should be. We have to respect and take care of the people we share our life with. But they can come and go. But we'll always have to live with ourselves. When we love we mustn't give up ourselves. Because if we do there'll eventually be nothing left to give. We have to think of ourselves once in a while and for Spike it's been far too long."
Buffy had listened closely and kept watching him for a while after he finished.
"Is that how you felt when you were in love with me?"
Giles looked away, then checked his watch.
"It's late. I have to go to the Magic Box."
He got up, but so did Buffy before he could leave. She put a hand on his arm and said his name to force him to look at her.
"You could just pick up Harris along with the books you need. We can eat dinner together and research after that."
He looked down at her sincere face, gave her a short smile and then after a second's thought leant down and kissed her on the cheek before turning away to go.
A/N:
I haven't posted in a long time, but here it is and I even have to more chapters. Not sure when I will update again though. I have to remember where things were supposed to go... or make it up again.
Thanks for the reviews :)
DragonGal: Thanks. I hope you'll continue to enjoy it :)
kpsd: Thanks for all your feedback. It's certainly not over yet!
hermia: Sure there's hope. I'm a sucker for happy endings and Buffy and Giles just love each other, even if they don't want to see it yet.
: He will. How long though only the future will tell... (Not that I'm evil or anything ;)
cyberwulf: You'll have three chapters in this update ;)
Ava Carpenter: Thank you very much. It's good to know that you can write something that convinces even non-shippers.
bg-girl: Here it is :)
PART: Responsibility
AUTHOR: Gabriele Schulz
EMAIL: gabi@gschulz.de
RATING: PG (might go up)
DISTRIBUTION: Everyone who has my general permission. Others please ask first.
SPOILERS: Up to Selfless
FEEDBACK: Love it. Especially if you like the story ;-)
SUMMARY: On Buffy's 25th birthday Giles visits Sunnydale, finally over her. Or so he thinks.
COUPLES: Buffy/Giles, Willow/Anya, Dawn/OC (male), mention of Wesley/Faith, Cordelia/Angel
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights.
DATE: 02/24-27/03
--------------------------
"I'm home."
Nobody answered Buffy. She got out of her jacket and hung it next to Giles', before going to the kitchen. There was a note by Dawn letting her know that she'd meet Jack and eat with him.
Buffy went upstairs calling out for Giles.
"I'm here."
She opened the door to his room and found him sitting among his suitcases and their content.
"You do pack like me."
He looked up and glared at her.
"Do you want me to help you?"
She could see the slight hesitation in his eyes and how his gaze went over the spread items and guessed that he preferred not to have her go through his stuff.
"You better do it yourself. Would be a bit impractical if you want to go out and fight some demon and can't find your pants."
"Unless the strategy was to make it laugh."
Buffy didn't think that Giles without pants would be a laughing matter, but she surely wasn't going to bring that up. She sat down on his bed.
"Dawn's with Jack tonight, so it looks like it's just the two of us. Do you have any preference on how to be poisoned?"
He turned from the cupboard to her smiling.
"Anything will do. Actually I don't think there's time." He checked his watch. "I promised Anya and Willow to pick up Harris before the Magic Box closes and I wanted to stay there this evening to research a demon that Spike killed last night."
"Is he all right?"
There was a slight hesitation before Giles answered.
"The demon didn't hurt him very much."
The way he said it implied that something else did though.
"Xander?"
"Yes, we talked about him. And other things. England, football, demons... a lot of things."
"He's lonely."
"That he is."
There was a harshness in his voice that made her look up.
"It's my fault."
"Why on earth would you be responsible for his loneliness?"
"He's lonely because he's a vampire with a soul. And he got his soul because of me. Ergo, he's lonely because of me."
"It is *not* your fault, because Spike is the only one who's responsible for his deeds. We do the most foolish things for love. They cannot be ascribed to the person we love. Loving does not absolve us from thinking about what we do. The consequences are still ours."
Buffy watched him, not quite sure how to answer.
"I'm not saying that we're not responsible. When he chained me up or when he tried to rape me... That was his fault. I was the cause, but not responsible. But getting a soul was a good thing, right?"
"I see. Your love made him a better man - literally."
"Giles? Do you want to fight with me?"
He was taken aback by this, but went on.
"No, I don't. This isn't about you at all. It's about Spike. I like him. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do and it pains me to see him like this, in a self-imposed prison."
"But it's not self-imposed! He tried to meet people. But it's not easy to explain why you can't come to lunch or need an explicit invitation to enter a house. And who's ever heard of a garlic allergy?"
"So it was right of him to give up and celebrate a lonely life basking in the shine of the past?"
"Tell me what he should do. Or tell him. If it's his fault and he's doing everything wrong, you must have alternatives. What should he do?"
"Change!"
"What?"
"His life. If he cannot find what he's looking for here, then he should go away and look for it elsewhere. There are places in the world where the fight against evil is fought in the open. He'd be a hero."
"And he isn't now? He's fighting demons, protecting the innocent. Besides he wouldn't know anyone. Here at least he has..."
"You."
"Us."
"I think he needs to leave you. He's still in love with you."
"He knows that I don't return his love."
"Intellectually he might know. Maybe his heart does, too, but his life still revolves around you. Sometimes we love someone so much that our every move, every decision that we make are because of that person. And that's not healthy. That is not how love should be. We have to respect and take care of the people we share our life with. But they can come and go. But we'll always have to live with ourselves. When we love we mustn't give up ourselves. Because if we do there'll eventually be nothing left to give. We have to think of ourselves once in a while and for Spike it's been far too long."
Buffy had listened closely and kept watching him for a while after he finished.
"Is that how you felt when you were in love with me?"
Giles looked away, then checked his watch.
"It's late. I have to go to the Magic Box."
He got up, but so did Buffy before he could leave. She put a hand on his arm and said his name to force him to look at her.
"You could just pick up Harris along with the books you need. We can eat dinner together and research after that."
He looked down at her sincere face, gave her a short smile and then after a second's thought leant down and kissed her on the cheek before turning away to go.
A/N:
I haven't posted in a long time, but here it is and I even have to more chapters. Not sure when I will update again though. I have to remember where things were supposed to go... or make it up again.
Thanks for the reviews :)
DragonGal: Thanks. I hope you'll continue to enjoy it :)
kpsd: Thanks for all your feedback. It's certainly not over yet!
hermia: Sure there's hope. I'm a sucker for happy endings and Buffy and Giles just love each other, even if they don't want to see it yet.
: He will. How long though only the future will tell... (Not that I'm evil or anything ;)
cyberwulf: You'll have three chapters in this update ;)
Ava Carpenter: Thank you very much. It's good to know that you can write something that convinces even non-shippers.
bg-girl: Here it is :)