The Nine Go Shopping – Episode III!!!
A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I have composed the first chapter of Episode III, obviously, so please R/R some more.
This chapter is dedicated to the seven astronauts of the shuttle Columbia, which disintegrated on February 1, 2003.
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Chapter 1
The Nine stagger into Sauron's throne room. "Master," says Eight, "why in the name of Elend – I mean, Sauron – did you give us rollerskates?"
"Do you question your master?!" cries Sauron.
"Um, yes, actually," says Seven.
"RAARRGHH!" Sauron roars, causing all of the Nazgul to jump. "How dare you challenge my intellect! It was you who let the crafter of jewels get away! It is you who should have your intellect challenged!"
"Well, excuse us for having to take a – pardon me – crash course in rollerskates, just to get your Ring of Power," says Two.
"You have no sense, the lot of you. I should have let you all die as mortals, rather than give you the Nine Rings. But no matter. Now that you have insulted me, you must find the Evil Crafter of Jewels! And bring me back the Ring!" Sauron bellows.
The Nine shrug. They are used to this. Sheesh, it wasn't as if they wouldn't have to get the Ring anyway. They turn to leave.
"Oh, and bring me back some shrimp tempura!" Sauron calls after them.
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Eight is mumbling his routine curses and griping about what a bad employer Sauron is when they reach their destination – Chicago's FAO Schwartz (dun dun duh!). "Ooh," exclaims Nine. "I wonder what's inside." He responds to his question by opening the door and going into the building, and the other eight follow suit.
They are immediately terrified.
Racks and racks of toys! Oh the horror! Marbles, games, Lego kits, and – worst of all – stuffed animals!
Three flits from shelf to shelf of stuffed animals, weeping and weeping of remembered poll-yester. "Ah, no! Not the genetically-engineered-to-be-small-and-then-killed-for-profit-animals!" he sobs piteously. Eight drags him off by the collar.
They examine the contents of the store cautiously, looking for anything that might resemble a Ring. Surprisingly, they are quite disappointed in their search on the bottom floor and decide to head up the stairs. Well, instead the get inside the elevator, because they don't feel like walking all that way (heaven forbid).
They get out of the elevator at the top and walk to the Lego display. Incidentally, it is the Lord of the Rings set that is under the plastic box. The Nine eye it suspiciously, especially the little guy standing on top of the mountain. They pass it by after searching it for the Ring.
Then they see it.
A bin full of gold rings is sitting just five yards away. The Nazgul rush toward it and start to dump its contents all over the floor, yet again causing everyone within a radius of ten feet to ogle them peculiarly.
"Hold every one of them until you find one you can't put down," Eight starts to instruct his colleagues, but something catches his eye.
He plucks a scrap of white paper from the base of the pile of rings, unfolds it, and reads its contents. Then he curses loudly.