Duo was stuck in his room for ten days, without food or a bathroom (he
drank water from the gutter that somehow managed to leak though the
otherwise completely locked and closed window), with Wufei standing guard
the entire time.
"Mr. Snuggles is ruined!" Wufei kept crying out dramatically, "And I'm not leaving from this spot until I get him back!"
"Hn," Heero said evenly.
Duo 'oohed' from his room and called out, "Heero just said that Mr. Snuggles can't come back because he's flat and wet and RUINED!" Duo paused. "And he's smelly too!" Another pause. "But Heero didn't say the last part. I did."
Wufei growled angrily. "MAXWELL! I won't kill you for that comment on one condition, and only one condition of which I am about to tell you, but only on one condition and that is that you listen to my one condition or so help me . . . " Wufei paused in his rant, to catch his breath, and Quatre walked by.
"You know, that is actually TWO conditions," Quatre said softly.
Had he been a bit more calm, Wufei probably wouldn't have punched the wall in anger and there probably wouldn't have been that huge hole, but what can one do when Wufei is on a rampage and needs Duo to listen to his one - no, wait, sorry, two - condition(s).
"Meep!" Quatre said as he looked at the hole that Wufei had put into the wall. He left the hallway quickly, in fear of becoming Wufei's next target.
"That's it Maxwell, listen up and listen good!" Wufei finally said.
"What IS it, Mister Stick Up My -" Duo paused, realizing Wufei was too busy punching the wall again to listen, so he simply said, "Ok, what is the condition?"
Wufei smirked. "If you want me to be nice to you, (at least partially), you must . . . go to the Toy Store and buy me a new Mr. Snuggles." Wufei gave a dramatic pause, and then continued, "And it must be pink, and fluffy, and made out of pure silk and polyester and also, the buttons in his eyes must be 100% china, and 2 cm exactly in diameter, and a dark brown - NOT BLACK! - and he has to be stuffed with a polyester-nylon cotton blend -"
About this time, Duo quit paying attention to Wufei's ramblings, and ran out of his room, grabbing Heero by the collar of his jacket and yelling as he sprinted out of the house, "See ya in a bit, Wu-man!"
Wufei scowled, but forced himself to calm down before the wall gained a third new hole.
~~~
They got to store in record time, and just before they went in, Heero stopped Duo and said, "Hn."
"What do you mean, why did I drag you along? You're the one who got me into this mess, so you are . . .um, OBLIGED, to help me get out! Yeah, that's the word, isn't it? Of course it is! So let's go!"
Heero sweatdropped slightly and they went into the Teddy-bears'R'Us.
The instant entered said store, a high pitched squeaky sound that could only be known as Relena's voice, cut through the air, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero-sama! I didn't know you came here for the Teddy Bear Friends Meetings too!" She smiled and held up her bright pink teddy bear.
Heero sweatdropped again, and Duo glared at Relena. "HN!" Duo exclaimed angrily.
Relena sniffed pompously, "I don't know what you said Duo Maxwell, but I'm sure whatever you said isn't true and that you're just making it up to try to make me look bad and - " She paused, "Heero? Why are you laughing?"
Heero stifled his quiet laughter, that sounded like soft 'hn hn hn hn's'.
Duo grabbed Heero's arm and dragged him off to look for a Mr. Snuggles substitute.
"We should name him Mr. Selgguns," Duo mused as they looked at the aisle of pink teddy bears that were fluffly, and made out of pure silk and polyester and also had 2 cm diameter 100% china eyes that were dark brown and - ahem. Anyway.
"Hn?" Heero questioned.
"It's Snuggles backwards," Duo explained, pulling down a teddy bear and trying to pull the ear off.
Another highly annoying voice cut though the shop. It was, dun dun dun! Dorothy!
"Duo Maxwell? What are YOU doing in a teddy bear shop?" Dorothy asked.
Duo sweatdropped. "Actually, I think you should be asking why Heero is here. I mean, don't I seem like the kind of guy that would go into a teddy bear shop, you know?" He groaned, "That doesn't right, but oh well."
Dorothy laughed, in her annoying giggly laugh, " Oh Duo! Teddy bears are beautiful, like war! War is beautiful, because there is blood. Blood is beautiful because it is red. Red is beautiful because it is the color of roses! And roses are beautiful because they are Treize's symbol and Treize is beautiful because he talks about war!" Dorothy paused, and then added in a mutter, "And he has split eyebrows, like me."
Heero and Duo just kind of smiled, nodded, grabbed the teddy bear, and ran far, far, FAR, the hell away. Oh, and they didn't bother to pay for it, so the alarm went off, but they ran faster than the cops anyway. (Or it could have been the fact that Heero said 'Hn' which roughly translated to 'Come one step closer and I'll bean you with the teddy bear!')
~~~
"Well?" Wufei demanded the minute Duo set foot into the house, "Where is he? Where is Mr. Snuggles the Second?"
Duo pressed the teddy bear into Wufei's hands. "Ahem! His name is Mr. Selgguns!"
"What?" Wufei asked coldly.
"Nothing, nothing, nothing at all! Whee!" Duo ran off before Wufei could ask why there was a tag that said '100% not fake silk and polyester blend. Really.'
~~~
That night, Wufei went to bed happily (chibified and in green silk pajama's, of course. Awww) with Mr. Snuggles (aka Mr. Selgguns), and he whispered, 'Wo ai ni," the bear before snuggling up to it and falling asleep.
But that, of course, was went the tag that said '100% not fake silk and polyester blend fell off, revealing the actual tag that said '100% recycled plastic. And cotton.'
"MAXWELL!"
"Mr. Snuggles is ruined!" Wufei kept crying out dramatically, "And I'm not leaving from this spot until I get him back!"
"Hn," Heero said evenly.
Duo 'oohed' from his room and called out, "Heero just said that Mr. Snuggles can't come back because he's flat and wet and RUINED!" Duo paused. "And he's smelly too!" Another pause. "But Heero didn't say the last part. I did."
Wufei growled angrily. "MAXWELL! I won't kill you for that comment on one condition, and only one condition of which I am about to tell you, but only on one condition and that is that you listen to my one condition or so help me . . . " Wufei paused in his rant, to catch his breath, and Quatre walked by.
"You know, that is actually TWO conditions," Quatre said softly.
Had he been a bit more calm, Wufei probably wouldn't have punched the wall in anger and there probably wouldn't have been that huge hole, but what can one do when Wufei is on a rampage and needs Duo to listen to his one - no, wait, sorry, two - condition(s).
"Meep!" Quatre said as he looked at the hole that Wufei had put into the wall. He left the hallway quickly, in fear of becoming Wufei's next target.
"That's it Maxwell, listen up and listen good!" Wufei finally said.
"What IS it, Mister Stick Up My -" Duo paused, realizing Wufei was too busy punching the wall again to listen, so he simply said, "Ok, what is the condition?"
Wufei smirked. "If you want me to be nice to you, (at least partially), you must . . . go to the Toy Store and buy me a new Mr. Snuggles." Wufei gave a dramatic pause, and then continued, "And it must be pink, and fluffy, and made out of pure silk and polyester and also, the buttons in his eyes must be 100% china, and 2 cm exactly in diameter, and a dark brown - NOT BLACK! - and he has to be stuffed with a polyester-nylon cotton blend -"
About this time, Duo quit paying attention to Wufei's ramblings, and ran out of his room, grabbing Heero by the collar of his jacket and yelling as he sprinted out of the house, "See ya in a bit, Wu-man!"
Wufei scowled, but forced himself to calm down before the wall gained a third new hole.
~~~
They got to store in record time, and just before they went in, Heero stopped Duo and said, "Hn."
"What do you mean, why did I drag you along? You're the one who got me into this mess, so you are . . .um, OBLIGED, to help me get out! Yeah, that's the word, isn't it? Of course it is! So let's go!"
Heero sweatdropped slightly and they went into the Teddy-bears'R'Us.
The instant entered said store, a high pitched squeaky sound that could only be known as Relena's voice, cut through the air, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeero-sama! I didn't know you came here for the Teddy Bear Friends Meetings too!" She smiled and held up her bright pink teddy bear.
Heero sweatdropped again, and Duo glared at Relena. "HN!" Duo exclaimed angrily.
Relena sniffed pompously, "I don't know what you said Duo Maxwell, but I'm sure whatever you said isn't true and that you're just making it up to try to make me look bad and - " She paused, "Heero? Why are you laughing?"
Heero stifled his quiet laughter, that sounded like soft 'hn hn hn hn's'.
Duo grabbed Heero's arm and dragged him off to look for a Mr. Snuggles substitute.
"We should name him Mr. Selgguns," Duo mused as they looked at the aisle of pink teddy bears that were fluffly, and made out of pure silk and polyester and also had 2 cm diameter 100% china eyes that were dark brown and - ahem. Anyway.
"Hn?" Heero questioned.
"It's Snuggles backwards," Duo explained, pulling down a teddy bear and trying to pull the ear off.
Another highly annoying voice cut though the shop. It was, dun dun dun! Dorothy!
"Duo Maxwell? What are YOU doing in a teddy bear shop?" Dorothy asked.
Duo sweatdropped. "Actually, I think you should be asking why Heero is here. I mean, don't I seem like the kind of guy that would go into a teddy bear shop, you know?" He groaned, "That doesn't right, but oh well."
Dorothy laughed, in her annoying giggly laugh, " Oh Duo! Teddy bears are beautiful, like war! War is beautiful, because there is blood. Blood is beautiful because it is red. Red is beautiful because it is the color of roses! And roses are beautiful because they are Treize's symbol and Treize is beautiful because he talks about war!" Dorothy paused, and then added in a mutter, "And he has split eyebrows, like me."
Heero and Duo just kind of smiled, nodded, grabbed the teddy bear, and ran far, far, FAR, the hell away. Oh, and they didn't bother to pay for it, so the alarm went off, but they ran faster than the cops anyway. (Or it could have been the fact that Heero said 'Hn' which roughly translated to 'Come one step closer and I'll bean you with the teddy bear!')
~~~
"Well?" Wufei demanded the minute Duo set foot into the house, "Where is he? Where is Mr. Snuggles the Second?"
Duo pressed the teddy bear into Wufei's hands. "Ahem! His name is Mr. Selgguns!"
"What?" Wufei asked coldly.
"Nothing, nothing, nothing at all! Whee!" Duo ran off before Wufei could ask why there was a tag that said '100% not fake silk and polyester blend. Really.'
~~~
That night, Wufei went to bed happily (chibified and in green silk pajama's, of course. Awww) with Mr. Snuggles (aka Mr. Selgguns), and he whispered, 'Wo ai ni," the bear before snuggling up to it and falling asleep.
But that, of course, was went the tag that said '100% not fake silk and polyester blend fell off, revealing the actual tag that said '100% recycled plastic. And cotton.'
"MAXWELL!"