Steadfast Soldier (3/3: A Trip Down Memory Creek)
Angelus angelus1317@hotmail.com
See first chapter for disclaimer, etc.
Author's Notes: I completely made up the clearing. Sorry.
~*~
Never in a million years would she have expected to see him here. After all that he'd gone through to get the hell out of Capeside, she couldn't believe he was back, sitting on her dock, in her canoe. But it wasn't like she minded. Of all people, she knew she would always be able to count on Pacey to cheer her up. Maybe he had felt the same strange pull that had brought her back here, back home. Or maybe he was here for some other reason. But right now, all that mattered was that he was here.
For ten minutes or so, they were silent. Joey had grabbed one oar from him, the pair rowing in perfect time without a word needing to be spoken between them. They flowed silently past the Potters', past the Leerys', past the Witters', and only then did they speak. It was Pacey who broke the silence.
"Feels like nothing's changed," he murmured. Joey snorted.
"I wish," she replied. With a deep sigh, Pacey continued rowing.
When he stopped, they found themselves at the end of the creek, in the clearing that had once been "their place"; hers and Dawson's. And if you really thought about it, it was fairly ironic that they had ended up here. And a little awkward. But then Joey remembered that even Pacey hadn't known about this place.
It had been their favorite hiding place during Hide-and-Go-Seek, their place to escape from their crazy home lives, and even from each other some times. But for some reason, they had never told Pacey about it. It was special, sacred. But now here he was and all Joey was feeling was that she was glad it was him.
The little hideout had barely changed. There was the old tire they had made into a swing, the picnic table they had dragged over from the dump, and the hammock they had found in the Potters' garage. But where there used to be a painted wooden sign with their initials painted on it, there now existed only a small patch on the massive oak it had been tacked to that wasn't quite as weathered as the rest.
"So this is it," Pacey murmured.
"What?"
"Your place. Dawson told me about it after you guys broke up. Some kind of betrayal to get back at you, I guess he thought it was." He laid his oar on the bottom of the boat and climbed out, leaving Joey with nothing to do but follow.
When she was on dry land, she looked up, only to find him laying in the hammock, hands folded behind his head. A fond smile on her lips, she climbed in next to him, snuggling against his warm body with her head tucked under his arm. Almost unconsciously, he rested one of his arms on the small of her back, stroking in slow, comforting motions. The pair lay, silent, motionless, staring up at the stars above them, the only sound the typical Capeside white noise of birds and crickets and the ever-flowing creek.
And this time it was Pacey who spoke first.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Jo," he said sadly.
"Do what?" she replied. He momentarily removed his hand from her back, gesturing at the two of them.
"*This*," he said. "Us." And yet still, the hand returned, steady and unchanging as ever.
"What is 'us', Pace?" Joey asked. "I'm not sure I even know anymore."
"That's exactly it. Look, you know how I feel about you - you've always known. Since I tried to kiss you when I was five to groping you underwater when we were fifteen filming Dawson's movie to our first real kiss. I love you, Joey Potter. And I honestly don't know what I can do to change that. I dated Andie, I dated Audrey, I dated Jen, I dated Sadia...and, yet, there you were, the whole time, on the back of my mind."
Joey sighed as she settled more firmly into his embrace. "I sense a 'but' coming up," she predicted.
"There's no way to stop it. Believe me, I've tried. But I just...can't. And that's just the way love goes, I guess. But I don't see how I can keep on like this; how I can still be in love with you after all these years when your heart has always belonged to Dawson."
"Oh, Pacey..." Joey rolled onto her side and lifted a hand to caress the side of his face. "Pacey, if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't *be* here. Whatever it is you think I'm here for, you're wrong. I'm here for *you*. My life just took a nose-dive into the crapper, okay? The one guy I thought might be worth it left. Again. And yet you're still here. Always. *That's* why I came here. Because as much as we've been through together, you've never let me down. *Never*. That's what I need in my life, Pacey. Someone like you."
A grin broke out across his lips and he looked down in embarrassment. But he just couldn't help it. Joey was here, now. And at lease if she left, for whatever reason, she'd given just what he needed: an assurance that she'd come back. To him. And really, that was all he'd ever wanted.
Reaching over, Pacey raised his hand to Joey's cheek, mimicking her movements. "I'll always be here, Jo," he promised. "To catch you when you fall, to pick you up, dust you off, and send you off again. You are going to do great things in this world. And all I ask is that you keep me around while you do. Let me be there for you, let me help you." She smiled up at him, with a smile that seemed to light up the night around them. "So," he continued. "Do we have a deal?" In assent, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Deal," she agreed. Once again, she snuggled against him. His arms pulled her close, and hers encircled his waist.
"I don't want to move, " she laughed. Pacey gave her a squeeze.
"So stay here," he suggested. Joey smiled.
"I think that can be arranged," she murmured, settling down for the night. Pacey kissed her softly on the top of her head.
"Goodnight, Jo," he whispered.
"'Night, Pacey," she returned. In almost no time, he was asleep, snoring lightly. A fond smile crossed Joey's face, but she didn't sleep just yet. Instead, she propped herself with one arm on his chest so that she could observe him.
He looked so young. Well, he *was* so young, after all. But he liked to pretend he was older than his twenty-odd years. Getting rid of the beard had helped somewhat. But only now, in the midst of sleep, did he truly look his real age.
And only now did she see it. Her Christian. Not Eddie, but Pacey. Her best friend, confidant, anchor. She wanted to his herself for not seeing it until now - all the lost time she had wasted trying to make herself into a reason to keep Eddie in one place, and he had been by her side the whole time, waiting, caring.
To this day, Joey still wasn't sure why she and Dawson hadn't been able to get things together, no matter how many times they tried. Things hadn't worked out with Eddie because he kept leaving. But Pacey...Pacey took whatever she threw at him with a smile. What would one day probably be his downfall was that Pacey didn't give up. Ever. He had fought for her, tooth and nail, until the bitter end. Even after she had let go, he had held on with an iron grip.
She made a mental note to tell him in the morning that this time, she was going to hold on even tighter.
~*~
FINITO. Thanx 4 reading, everybody!
Angelus angelus1317@hotmail.com
See first chapter for disclaimer, etc.
Author's Notes: I completely made up the clearing. Sorry.
~*~
Never in a million years would she have expected to see him here. After all that he'd gone through to get the hell out of Capeside, she couldn't believe he was back, sitting on her dock, in her canoe. But it wasn't like she minded. Of all people, she knew she would always be able to count on Pacey to cheer her up. Maybe he had felt the same strange pull that had brought her back here, back home. Or maybe he was here for some other reason. But right now, all that mattered was that he was here.
For ten minutes or so, they were silent. Joey had grabbed one oar from him, the pair rowing in perfect time without a word needing to be spoken between them. They flowed silently past the Potters', past the Leerys', past the Witters', and only then did they speak. It was Pacey who broke the silence.
"Feels like nothing's changed," he murmured. Joey snorted.
"I wish," she replied. With a deep sigh, Pacey continued rowing.
When he stopped, they found themselves at the end of the creek, in the clearing that had once been "their place"; hers and Dawson's. And if you really thought about it, it was fairly ironic that they had ended up here. And a little awkward. But then Joey remembered that even Pacey hadn't known about this place.
It had been their favorite hiding place during Hide-and-Go-Seek, their place to escape from their crazy home lives, and even from each other some times. But for some reason, they had never told Pacey about it. It was special, sacred. But now here he was and all Joey was feeling was that she was glad it was him.
The little hideout had barely changed. There was the old tire they had made into a swing, the picnic table they had dragged over from the dump, and the hammock they had found in the Potters' garage. But where there used to be a painted wooden sign with their initials painted on it, there now existed only a small patch on the massive oak it had been tacked to that wasn't quite as weathered as the rest.
"So this is it," Pacey murmured.
"What?"
"Your place. Dawson told me about it after you guys broke up. Some kind of betrayal to get back at you, I guess he thought it was." He laid his oar on the bottom of the boat and climbed out, leaving Joey with nothing to do but follow.
When she was on dry land, she looked up, only to find him laying in the hammock, hands folded behind his head. A fond smile on her lips, she climbed in next to him, snuggling against his warm body with her head tucked under his arm. Almost unconsciously, he rested one of his arms on the small of her back, stroking in slow, comforting motions. The pair lay, silent, motionless, staring up at the stars above them, the only sound the typical Capeside white noise of birds and crickets and the ever-flowing creek.
And this time it was Pacey who spoke first.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Jo," he said sadly.
"Do what?" she replied. He momentarily removed his hand from her back, gesturing at the two of them.
"*This*," he said. "Us." And yet still, the hand returned, steady and unchanging as ever.
"What is 'us', Pace?" Joey asked. "I'm not sure I even know anymore."
"That's exactly it. Look, you know how I feel about you - you've always known. Since I tried to kiss you when I was five to groping you underwater when we were fifteen filming Dawson's movie to our first real kiss. I love you, Joey Potter. And I honestly don't know what I can do to change that. I dated Andie, I dated Audrey, I dated Jen, I dated Sadia...and, yet, there you were, the whole time, on the back of my mind."
Joey sighed as she settled more firmly into his embrace. "I sense a 'but' coming up," she predicted.
"There's no way to stop it. Believe me, I've tried. But I just...can't. And that's just the way love goes, I guess. But I don't see how I can keep on like this; how I can still be in love with you after all these years when your heart has always belonged to Dawson."
"Oh, Pacey..." Joey rolled onto her side and lifted a hand to caress the side of his face. "Pacey, if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't *be* here. Whatever it is you think I'm here for, you're wrong. I'm here for *you*. My life just took a nose-dive into the crapper, okay? The one guy I thought might be worth it left. Again. And yet you're still here. Always. *That's* why I came here. Because as much as we've been through together, you've never let me down. *Never*. That's what I need in my life, Pacey. Someone like you."
A grin broke out across his lips and he looked down in embarrassment. But he just couldn't help it. Joey was here, now. And at lease if she left, for whatever reason, she'd given just what he needed: an assurance that she'd come back. To him. And really, that was all he'd ever wanted.
Reaching over, Pacey raised his hand to Joey's cheek, mimicking her movements. "I'll always be here, Jo," he promised. "To catch you when you fall, to pick you up, dust you off, and send you off again. You are going to do great things in this world. And all I ask is that you keep me around while you do. Let me be there for you, let me help you." She smiled up at him, with a smile that seemed to light up the night around them. "So," he continued. "Do we have a deal?" In assent, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Deal," she agreed. Once again, she snuggled against him. His arms pulled her close, and hers encircled his waist.
"I don't want to move, " she laughed. Pacey gave her a squeeze.
"So stay here," he suggested. Joey smiled.
"I think that can be arranged," she murmured, settling down for the night. Pacey kissed her softly on the top of her head.
"Goodnight, Jo," he whispered.
"'Night, Pacey," she returned. In almost no time, he was asleep, snoring lightly. A fond smile crossed Joey's face, but she didn't sleep just yet. Instead, she propped herself with one arm on his chest so that she could observe him.
He looked so young. Well, he *was* so young, after all. But he liked to pretend he was older than his twenty-odd years. Getting rid of the beard had helped somewhat. But only now, in the midst of sleep, did he truly look his real age.
And only now did she see it. Her Christian. Not Eddie, but Pacey. Her best friend, confidant, anchor. She wanted to his herself for not seeing it until now - all the lost time she had wasted trying to make herself into a reason to keep Eddie in one place, and he had been by her side the whole time, waiting, caring.
To this day, Joey still wasn't sure why she and Dawson hadn't been able to get things together, no matter how many times they tried. Things hadn't worked out with Eddie because he kept leaving. But Pacey...Pacey took whatever she threw at him with a smile. What would one day probably be his downfall was that Pacey didn't give up. Ever. He had fought for her, tooth and nail, until the bitter end. Even after she had let go, he had held on with an iron grip.
She made a mental note to tell him in the morning that this time, she was going to hold on even tighter.
~*~
FINITO. Thanx 4 reading, everybody!