Well, here's the latest installment. It's not quite over yet, and I have
no idea how it will end! Thanks for all the feeback!
**Bubba Gumps**
Dinner with Marcus and his husband, Kevin was going great. The four of them laughed and drank. Ron took in the scene happily as Marcus, Kevin and Harry all exchanged funny and embarrassing "Ron Stories". It was nice for Marcus and Kevin to know a bit about Ron's life and it was an opportunity for Harry to see that the man he loved still did exist.
Marcus and Kevin had listened to Ron and Harry's tale intently. They could not believe all that the young couple had been through. Kevin and Marcus were especially happy to see Ron so happy after seeing him miserable for five years. Ron glowed, and so did Harry. Their love was evident, a person would have to be blind to miss it, and even then the vibes they sent off were enough for someone to get the hint.
"So, Harry, was it love at first sight when you met Ron?" Kevin asked.
Harry smiled. "Well, I was only 11. We met on the train to boarding school and I knew from the moment that he walked into the compartment I wanted him in my life, so I suppose yes in a way it was love at first sight"
Kevin sighed. "That is so romantic! What about you Ron? Love at first sight?"
"Definitely. I was only 11 but like Harry I knew I wanted him in my life forever"
"When did you realize it was love?" Kevin interrogated.
"Kev, ease up" Marcus chided
"No, it's alright" answered Harry. "This is one of my favorite memories. Would you like to tell it or should I?" Harry asked Ron.
"Go ahead love"
Harry smiled at Ron and held his hand, interlacing their fingers once again.
"Well, our fifth year at boarding school I began to realize it was much more than friendship that I felt. I was a wreck and I didn't know what to do, I was so afraid he was going to reject me. I held off on telling him how I felt, I began to distance myself from him. It hurt to be in the same room as him knowing that I loved him so much and I couldn't show it. We left school at the end of the year and I was miserable. We had grown apart and I felt like there was this huge void in my life. I went back to live with my aunt, uncle and cousin who hated me. The summer was horrible, but then something happened. I was on the roof of the house helping my uncle put in new shingles and I slipped and fell. I don't remember much except tumbling to the ground and everything going black. When I woke up I was in Ron's room. His family had taken me away from my miserable relatives. I was relieved and happy to see Ron. We began to mend our friendship and it was wonderful. We avoided the subject of what it was we were feeling, but it was there. Then on my 16th birthday at midnight Ron woke me up. We went for a walk in the garden. It was decorated beautifully with lights and flowers and balloons. In the center of the garden was a table with a birthday cake. Ron told me to make a wish and blow out my candles, so I did. He asked me what I wished for, and I told him I didn't wish for anything because my greatest desire was standing in front of me. Then he kissed me, and the rest is history"
"Wow. You two are a perfect case of true love! You realize that right?" Kevin inquired.
"I'd like to think so" Ron replied and tightened his grip on Harry's hand.
Harry smiled.
"Well I am stuffed, why don't we blow this joint and hit the bar?" Marcus suggested.
Ron felt Harry stiffen at the mention of going to the bar. His heart constricted again and he wondered if Harry was ever going to be able to handle what had happened in the past five years.
"Nah, I think we'll pass, we have some catching up to do" Ron replied
"Aw, come on! It'll be fun!" Kevin pressed.
Ron glanced at Harry. He looked like he had just swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro.
"No it's fine Ron, let's go to the bar"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I can't avoid it forever can I?"
"Well it's settled, lets go!"
The four men left the restaurant. They looked like a happy group of friends ready for a night on the town, but Ron noticed the change in Harry's demeanor. His smile and laughter were forced, and he would not let Ron hold his hand. Ron prayed that Harry would be okay, but he had very serious doubts.
**The Bar**
Harry felt as if every man in the bar was looking at him. He could feel their gazes upon him, wondering if he was Ron's conquest for the night. It angered him. The rage boiled up inside of him every time he thought about what Ron had done with many of them present. Kevin and Marcus were out on the dance floor having a good time. Harry and Ron sat at a table both looking miserable.
Ron knew what Harry was thinking. He could see it in the green eyes he worshipped, but he didn't know what to say or do anymore to make it any better, and he didn't know if Harry was ever going to deal with it, but it didn't look promising. He had tried to strike up a conversation with him, tried to hold his hand, even tried to get him to dance, but Harry had refused and instead they sat at the table.
"I'll be right back, I have to use the restroom"
Ron nodded and watched Harry walk away from the table.
Harry quickly locked himself in one of the stalls of the restroom and buried his head in his hands. He was so angry, so confused, hurt and jealous. He knew that the man he loved still very much existed but the life he had lived in the past five years hung like a dark shadow over their reconciliation. He knew he was stupid for agreeing to come here, he didn't know why he'd agreed but he had and now he was stuck here. Harry heard the door to the bathroom open and two men walked in.
"Did you see Scott? I wonder who the hot guy is?"
Harry felt nauseous. He knew the men were talking about Ron.
"I'm sure it's just another one of his fucks, honestly who can say they haven't been there and done that?"
The men laughed and Harry felt his heart break.
"Well he was a lousy fuck. He would even let me touch him. He threw me down on the bed, fucked me, and then rolled off me and went to sleep"
"Oh, well let me tell you. I did get to touch, not a lot but I managed to sneak in a few and let me tell you, he has skin like porcelain and hair like silk-"
The man did not get a chance to finish his sentence. Harry went flying from the stall, his anger and rage guiding him and slammed the man into the wall. Before he knew it he had drawn back his fist and the only sound in the bathroom was the sound of Harry's fist connecting with the man's face. It was a sick cracking sound. The man just stared at Harry dumbfounded.
"Harry! What the fuck are you doing?!?!" It was Ron. He had gone into the bathroom to look for Harry and found him beating up someone.
Harry looked at Ron. His eyes were like chips of green ice. There was no love in them, only anger, rage, and for an instant hate. Ron had only ever seen hate in Harry's eyes when Voldemort was involved.
Harry let the man drop to the ground.
"I thought you said they never touched you Ron. This asshole claims he knows how silky you hair is and how your skin is like pocelain"
"Harry-"
"NO! I'm leaving now"
Harry stormed out of the club, he didn't realized that Ron was following him until he slowed a few blocks later to figure out where he was.
"Harry! STOP!"
Harry spun around. He couldn't control his anger right now, and he didn't want to face Ron at this moment knowing that.
"LEAVE ME ALONE RON!"
"NO! Dammit Harry! You can't do this! You can't blow up and shut down every time you learn something about the past five years you just can't! It's not fair to me!"
"NOT FAIR TO YOU!?!?! FUCK YOU RON! FUCK YOU! I searched for you for five fucking years! FIVE YEARS! Do you know how many times I wished for death in those five years? DO YOU!?!? And you know what? I WISH THAT I HAD DIED SO THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME!"
Ron's heart shattered, but he was angry as well.
"GO TO HELL! You let me think you were dead Harry! DEAD! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME! YOU COULD HAVE LET AT LEAST ME KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON! INSTEAD YOU HAD TO BE THE FUCKING HERO JUST ONE MORE TIME! BUT THIS TIME IT BLEW UP IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!"
"Right! Silly me for trying to protect the person that I loved more than my own life! I thought you of all people would know that I wasn't trying to be the damned hero again, I was trying to do what was right!"
Ron knew he needed to try and change tactics before something was said that both of them would regret.
"Look, Harry, please, lets go somewhere and discuss this like normal adults. Please, I love you-"
"I HATE YOU! I COULD NEVER LOVE A COMMON WHORE!"
Harry regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. "Shit! What have I done?!" he thought.
"Ron I-"
"No. No more Harry" Ron's voice was dead. It lacked any emotion. Harry had just killed his heart, killed him. "I am not the only person to blame in this mess. Go home. I don't want you here anymore. Please tell my family that I love them and miss them, but that I will not be going back to England, not ever"
"Ron, please-"
"GO HOME! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"
"FINE!"
Ron watched Harry stalk away in anger. He waited until he was out of sight to collapse.
"Shhh, Ron, it's okay"
"Blake?"
"I saw you both leave the club, looking angry. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but I see now-"
"I'll never be okay again. He hates me. I love him, and he hates me. He is never going to forgive me for my sins, and it pisses me off because I have already forgiven him for his. Just please take me home Blake."
"Okay"
Blake's heart went out to Ron. He knew that the red haired man was never going to recover from the latest blow. He had heard the harsh words coming from both men. It was sad but it seemed that Harry was never going to forgive Ron for what he had done. Ron was condemned to live a miserable life because Harry was too much of a stubborn ass to forgive the man he loved.
The men reached Ron's apartment. Ron thanked Blake and went inside. He could not believe what had happened. Harry hated him. His life meant nothing now. He had died when he had heard the news of Harry's "death". He had died again when Harry had yelled that he hated him. He had died metaphorically many times in his life. It was time to die physically.
Ron found a few sheets of paper and wrote what he needed to say to the people he cared about. He then went to the bathroom and found the shiny silver razor that seemed to glint and smile at him. He brought the razor to his wrist watching as his blood fell in shiny red rivulets onto the floor. It was a rather entrancing sight. It was the last thing Ron saw before the darkness overtook him.
**30 minutes later**
Harry found himself in front of Ron's apartment building. He had to make things right. He had not truly meant the harsh words that he had said. He had been angry, but that was it. Harry had to go to Ron and make him understand that he could never hate him. He loved him too much. He didn't know why but he had an odd feeling and he needed to see Ron immediately to tell him. It seemed imperative that Ron know this.
"Harry?'
"Blake. What are you doing here?"
"Checking on Ron. He's a disaster, I only left him about 30 minutes ago. I found him after your fight. I-I had a weird feeling-"
"Me too, let's go" Harry's heart was racing. Something was off and he knew, felt it. Just like Blake.
They arrived at Ron's door and Harry found that it was unlocked. His brain was screaming something was wrong.
"Ron?" Harry called out, panic lacing his voice. "Ron are you here?"
The men were met with a deathly silence. Blake made his way towards the kitchen while Harry made his way towards Ron's bedroom.
Blake would never forget the sound he heard next. It would haunt him forever. It was a scream, a scream that was pure unadulterated pain. The person's soul was being ripped from their body. When Blake found Harry he knew why.
Harry was cradling Ron in his arms. Ron, who was much paler than usual. Ron, who was lying in a puddle of blood. The gashes on his wrist standing out on his flawless skin.
"Shit!"
"Oh God! Blake we have to help him!" Harry was sobbing now.
As Blake dialed 911 he could hear Harry begging Ron not to leave him. His pleas were heartwrenching. Blake begged the fates and whatever God or Gods controlled Harry and Ron's future for this to end well. "Leave them alone, let them be happy, THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!" Blake thought angrily.
Harry was sobbing, cradling Ron's limp body in his hands. This was all his fault and he knew it. He should have never stepped foot in that club. No! He never should have doubted Ron's love for him. He should have just dealt with it instead of being so damn stubborn. Instead of being angry at the club he should have taken Ron out onto the dance floor and shown every one of those men exactly who Ron belonged to. Shown them exactly what it was he and Ron shared.
"Oh, Ron if you can hear please don't leave me love. We have too much left unsaid. I love you, please come back to me"
Harry didn't know how long he sat on the floor of the bathroom but he remembered the paramedics showing up. He remembered being loading into the ambulance with Ron and Blake.
He could recall the sterile whiteness of the hospital and how Ron's of red hair stood out against the stark environment. He could recall Blake trying to comfort him, calling Hermione, calling the Weasley family, but the memory that would never leave him, the moment he would recall forever was when the doctor came out to tell them Ron was going to die.
**Bubba Gumps**
Dinner with Marcus and his husband, Kevin was going great. The four of them laughed and drank. Ron took in the scene happily as Marcus, Kevin and Harry all exchanged funny and embarrassing "Ron Stories". It was nice for Marcus and Kevin to know a bit about Ron's life and it was an opportunity for Harry to see that the man he loved still did exist.
Marcus and Kevin had listened to Ron and Harry's tale intently. They could not believe all that the young couple had been through. Kevin and Marcus were especially happy to see Ron so happy after seeing him miserable for five years. Ron glowed, and so did Harry. Their love was evident, a person would have to be blind to miss it, and even then the vibes they sent off were enough for someone to get the hint.
"So, Harry, was it love at first sight when you met Ron?" Kevin asked.
Harry smiled. "Well, I was only 11. We met on the train to boarding school and I knew from the moment that he walked into the compartment I wanted him in my life, so I suppose yes in a way it was love at first sight"
Kevin sighed. "That is so romantic! What about you Ron? Love at first sight?"
"Definitely. I was only 11 but like Harry I knew I wanted him in my life forever"
"When did you realize it was love?" Kevin interrogated.
"Kev, ease up" Marcus chided
"No, it's alright" answered Harry. "This is one of my favorite memories. Would you like to tell it or should I?" Harry asked Ron.
"Go ahead love"
Harry smiled at Ron and held his hand, interlacing their fingers once again.
"Well, our fifth year at boarding school I began to realize it was much more than friendship that I felt. I was a wreck and I didn't know what to do, I was so afraid he was going to reject me. I held off on telling him how I felt, I began to distance myself from him. It hurt to be in the same room as him knowing that I loved him so much and I couldn't show it. We left school at the end of the year and I was miserable. We had grown apart and I felt like there was this huge void in my life. I went back to live with my aunt, uncle and cousin who hated me. The summer was horrible, but then something happened. I was on the roof of the house helping my uncle put in new shingles and I slipped and fell. I don't remember much except tumbling to the ground and everything going black. When I woke up I was in Ron's room. His family had taken me away from my miserable relatives. I was relieved and happy to see Ron. We began to mend our friendship and it was wonderful. We avoided the subject of what it was we were feeling, but it was there. Then on my 16th birthday at midnight Ron woke me up. We went for a walk in the garden. It was decorated beautifully with lights and flowers and balloons. In the center of the garden was a table with a birthday cake. Ron told me to make a wish and blow out my candles, so I did. He asked me what I wished for, and I told him I didn't wish for anything because my greatest desire was standing in front of me. Then he kissed me, and the rest is history"
"Wow. You two are a perfect case of true love! You realize that right?" Kevin inquired.
"I'd like to think so" Ron replied and tightened his grip on Harry's hand.
Harry smiled.
"Well I am stuffed, why don't we blow this joint and hit the bar?" Marcus suggested.
Ron felt Harry stiffen at the mention of going to the bar. His heart constricted again and he wondered if Harry was ever going to be able to handle what had happened in the past five years.
"Nah, I think we'll pass, we have some catching up to do" Ron replied
"Aw, come on! It'll be fun!" Kevin pressed.
Ron glanced at Harry. He looked like he had just swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro.
"No it's fine Ron, let's go to the bar"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I can't avoid it forever can I?"
"Well it's settled, lets go!"
The four men left the restaurant. They looked like a happy group of friends ready for a night on the town, but Ron noticed the change in Harry's demeanor. His smile and laughter were forced, and he would not let Ron hold his hand. Ron prayed that Harry would be okay, but he had very serious doubts.
**The Bar**
Harry felt as if every man in the bar was looking at him. He could feel their gazes upon him, wondering if he was Ron's conquest for the night. It angered him. The rage boiled up inside of him every time he thought about what Ron had done with many of them present. Kevin and Marcus were out on the dance floor having a good time. Harry and Ron sat at a table both looking miserable.
Ron knew what Harry was thinking. He could see it in the green eyes he worshipped, but he didn't know what to say or do anymore to make it any better, and he didn't know if Harry was ever going to deal with it, but it didn't look promising. He had tried to strike up a conversation with him, tried to hold his hand, even tried to get him to dance, but Harry had refused and instead they sat at the table.
"I'll be right back, I have to use the restroom"
Ron nodded and watched Harry walk away from the table.
Harry quickly locked himself in one of the stalls of the restroom and buried his head in his hands. He was so angry, so confused, hurt and jealous. He knew that the man he loved still very much existed but the life he had lived in the past five years hung like a dark shadow over their reconciliation. He knew he was stupid for agreeing to come here, he didn't know why he'd agreed but he had and now he was stuck here. Harry heard the door to the bathroom open and two men walked in.
"Did you see Scott? I wonder who the hot guy is?"
Harry felt nauseous. He knew the men were talking about Ron.
"I'm sure it's just another one of his fucks, honestly who can say they haven't been there and done that?"
The men laughed and Harry felt his heart break.
"Well he was a lousy fuck. He would even let me touch him. He threw me down on the bed, fucked me, and then rolled off me and went to sleep"
"Oh, well let me tell you. I did get to touch, not a lot but I managed to sneak in a few and let me tell you, he has skin like porcelain and hair like silk-"
The man did not get a chance to finish his sentence. Harry went flying from the stall, his anger and rage guiding him and slammed the man into the wall. Before he knew it he had drawn back his fist and the only sound in the bathroom was the sound of Harry's fist connecting with the man's face. It was a sick cracking sound. The man just stared at Harry dumbfounded.
"Harry! What the fuck are you doing?!?!" It was Ron. He had gone into the bathroom to look for Harry and found him beating up someone.
Harry looked at Ron. His eyes were like chips of green ice. There was no love in them, only anger, rage, and for an instant hate. Ron had only ever seen hate in Harry's eyes when Voldemort was involved.
Harry let the man drop to the ground.
"I thought you said they never touched you Ron. This asshole claims he knows how silky you hair is and how your skin is like pocelain"
"Harry-"
"NO! I'm leaving now"
Harry stormed out of the club, he didn't realized that Ron was following him until he slowed a few blocks later to figure out where he was.
"Harry! STOP!"
Harry spun around. He couldn't control his anger right now, and he didn't want to face Ron at this moment knowing that.
"LEAVE ME ALONE RON!"
"NO! Dammit Harry! You can't do this! You can't blow up and shut down every time you learn something about the past five years you just can't! It's not fair to me!"
"NOT FAIR TO YOU!?!?! FUCK YOU RON! FUCK YOU! I searched for you for five fucking years! FIVE YEARS! Do you know how many times I wished for death in those five years? DO YOU!?!? And you know what? I WISH THAT I HAD DIED SO THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME!"
Ron's heart shattered, but he was angry as well.
"GO TO HELL! You let me think you were dead Harry! DEAD! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME! YOU COULD HAVE LET AT LEAST ME KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON! INSTEAD YOU HAD TO BE THE FUCKING HERO JUST ONE MORE TIME! BUT THIS TIME IT BLEW UP IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!"
"Right! Silly me for trying to protect the person that I loved more than my own life! I thought you of all people would know that I wasn't trying to be the damned hero again, I was trying to do what was right!"
Ron knew he needed to try and change tactics before something was said that both of them would regret.
"Look, Harry, please, lets go somewhere and discuss this like normal adults. Please, I love you-"
"I HATE YOU! I COULD NEVER LOVE A COMMON WHORE!"
Harry regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. "Shit! What have I done?!" he thought.
"Ron I-"
"No. No more Harry" Ron's voice was dead. It lacked any emotion. Harry had just killed his heart, killed him. "I am not the only person to blame in this mess. Go home. I don't want you here anymore. Please tell my family that I love them and miss them, but that I will not be going back to England, not ever"
"Ron, please-"
"GO HOME! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"
"FINE!"
Ron watched Harry stalk away in anger. He waited until he was out of sight to collapse.
"Shhh, Ron, it's okay"
"Blake?"
"I saw you both leave the club, looking angry. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but I see now-"
"I'll never be okay again. He hates me. I love him, and he hates me. He is never going to forgive me for my sins, and it pisses me off because I have already forgiven him for his. Just please take me home Blake."
"Okay"
Blake's heart went out to Ron. He knew that the red haired man was never going to recover from the latest blow. He had heard the harsh words coming from both men. It was sad but it seemed that Harry was never going to forgive Ron for what he had done. Ron was condemned to live a miserable life because Harry was too much of a stubborn ass to forgive the man he loved.
The men reached Ron's apartment. Ron thanked Blake and went inside. He could not believe what had happened. Harry hated him. His life meant nothing now. He had died when he had heard the news of Harry's "death". He had died again when Harry had yelled that he hated him. He had died metaphorically many times in his life. It was time to die physically.
Ron found a few sheets of paper and wrote what he needed to say to the people he cared about. He then went to the bathroom and found the shiny silver razor that seemed to glint and smile at him. He brought the razor to his wrist watching as his blood fell in shiny red rivulets onto the floor. It was a rather entrancing sight. It was the last thing Ron saw before the darkness overtook him.
**30 minutes later**
Harry found himself in front of Ron's apartment building. He had to make things right. He had not truly meant the harsh words that he had said. He had been angry, but that was it. Harry had to go to Ron and make him understand that he could never hate him. He loved him too much. He didn't know why but he had an odd feeling and he needed to see Ron immediately to tell him. It seemed imperative that Ron know this.
"Harry?'
"Blake. What are you doing here?"
"Checking on Ron. He's a disaster, I only left him about 30 minutes ago. I found him after your fight. I-I had a weird feeling-"
"Me too, let's go" Harry's heart was racing. Something was off and he knew, felt it. Just like Blake.
They arrived at Ron's door and Harry found that it was unlocked. His brain was screaming something was wrong.
"Ron?" Harry called out, panic lacing his voice. "Ron are you here?"
The men were met with a deathly silence. Blake made his way towards the kitchen while Harry made his way towards Ron's bedroom.
Blake would never forget the sound he heard next. It would haunt him forever. It was a scream, a scream that was pure unadulterated pain. The person's soul was being ripped from their body. When Blake found Harry he knew why.
Harry was cradling Ron in his arms. Ron, who was much paler than usual. Ron, who was lying in a puddle of blood. The gashes on his wrist standing out on his flawless skin.
"Shit!"
"Oh God! Blake we have to help him!" Harry was sobbing now.
As Blake dialed 911 he could hear Harry begging Ron not to leave him. His pleas were heartwrenching. Blake begged the fates and whatever God or Gods controlled Harry and Ron's future for this to end well. "Leave them alone, let them be happy, THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!" Blake thought angrily.
Harry was sobbing, cradling Ron's limp body in his hands. This was all his fault and he knew it. He should have never stepped foot in that club. No! He never should have doubted Ron's love for him. He should have just dealt with it instead of being so damn stubborn. Instead of being angry at the club he should have taken Ron out onto the dance floor and shown every one of those men exactly who Ron belonged to. Shown them exactly what it was he and Ron shared.
"Oh, Ron if you can hear please don't leave me love. We have too much left unsaid. I love you, please come back to me"
Harry didn't know how long he sat on the floor of the bathroom but he remembered the paramedics showing up. He remembered being loading into the ambulance with Ron and Blake.
He could recall the sterile whiteness of the hospital and how Ron's of red hair stood out against the stark environment. He could recall Blake trying to comfort him, calling Hermione, calling the Weasley family, but the memory that would never leave him, the moment he would recall forever was when the doctor came out to tell them Ron was going to die.