Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that you recognize, they are not
mine and sadly never will be.
*Author walks onto the page and clears her throat. An extremely catchy beat begins playing. * If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, if you like to waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce isle. Then have we got a show for you. Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!..
Stop! Stop! Stop the music! Sorry about that! Wrong theme song. *scratches head * I wonder where I put my theme music... * looks around room* Ah well, you read the story while I look for my music, ok? Enjoy!
"Ron, that's brilliant! But what about the handwriting? How will we make it look like his?" Harry looked across the wooden table at the grinning red head.
Ron smiled even wider, "I don't have a clue, but I do know someone who will!"
"Hermione?"
"Hermione."
With a nod of agreement, the duo set off to Hermione's second home; the library.
Upon entering the familiar room, their eyes scanned the area and landed upon their target.
It hadn't taken a long time to search out Hermione; her distinctive hair was peaking out from behind a particularly large stack of novels. The fact that she was the only one there helped too.
"Hermione, its so good to see you!" Ron called while taking a seat to Hermione's left. He pushed a couple of her many books and quills to the side and glanced at the page she was looking at.
"No pictures," he muttered bitterly to himself and shook his head disapprovingly.
Lifting her head away from the book, Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed, "What do you want?"
"What ever makes you think that we want something?" Harry asked as innocently as he could manage and sat in the chair to her right. He casually slung an arm over her shoulder. "Can't we come to say 'hi!' to our smart, witty, wonderful, amazing friend without being accused of having ulterior motives?"
Hermione eyed the arm resting around her critically, "What do you two want? If you want to copy homework, my answer is still no. And I don't want to hear how you didn't have time, you have had plenty and-"
"We haven't come for your homework." Ron cut her off.
"What is it then? I'm really busy you guys."
"Should we tell her?" Harry glanced in Ron's direction.
"Might as well." Ron nodded, "You are just too smart, 'Mione, you saw right through us. As a matter of fact, we would like to have your assistance with something."
"You 'would like to have my assistance with something'? Ok, now I know something is up. What did you two do this time? Spill." Hermione glared at her friends and stuck a quill in between the pages that she was looking at before setting the book down.
" 'Mione," Harry bent to look into her eyes and put on his most innocent voice. "If you wanted to, I dunno, mimic someone's handwriting, how would you go about doing that? A spell maybe?"
"No way! Nuh uh! I'm not doing this; we'll get in trouble! I don't want to get detention or loose any house points or..."
"Oh come on," Ron pleaded, "It's not like we want a teacher's handwriting. It's just a student."
"What student?"
"Malfoy." Harry and Ron replied in unison.
"What on earth would you two do with Malfoy's handwriting?"
Ron rubbed his hands together and laughed, "We'd get revenge."
"I don't get it, how would having his handwriting give you revenge?"
Harry leaned even closer to Hermione and lowered his voice, "What would Pansy want more then anything else in the world?"
"Wait," Hermione interrupted, "What does that have to do with Malfoy's handwriting?"
"SHHHH!! Someone will hear you!" Ron quieted her, "Honestly Hermione, and you're supposed to be the smart one."
Before Hermione could protest, Harry jumped in, "You are brilliant Herm. That is why we need you. Ron was trying to say that you know how much Pansy loves Malfoy, right?"
Hermione blinked, "Well ya, its kind of obvious. What with how she is always clinging on him and such. It's really quite pathetic. I almost feel sorry for the guy, you can tell that he doesn't like her all that much."
"Exactly!" Harry enthusiastically slapped his hand on the table, "And what do you think Pansy would do if she got a letter from him? A letter that proclaimed his undying love for her?"
"She'd jump him in the middle of the Great Hall!" Ron excitedly broke into the conversation, "And Malfoy would be scared out of his mind. He'd probably run away, screaming like a little girl, while Pansy chased after him and tried to comfort him."
"It would be priceless! C'mon Mione, you gotta help us!"
"I don't 'gotta' do anything." Hermione sniffed indignantly, "Besides, it sounds rather juvenile."
"Please? For us?" Harry clasped his hands together while he pleaded with her.
After five minutes of begging, Hermione finally cracked. She sighed, "Fine." She tried to look indifferent but her eyes twinkled with amusement. "Who is going to compose the letter?"
An hour after their conversation in the library, the trio was sitting comfortably in the common room, trying to figure out the best way to end the letter.
"How about 'Love always, D.M.' ?" Harry asked, looking around at the faces of his other friends.
"Nah." Ron wrinkled his nose, "It isn't fluffy enough."
"How about 'You'll be in my dreams tonight, Draco.' ?" Hermione asked, trying to hold back her giggles.
"Oi, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed through his laughter, "That's perfect!"
"Done!" Harry exclaimed happily, setting down his quill and passing the parchment towards Hermione.
"I can't wait to see his face!" she said before murmuring the incantation.
"That's the spirit!" Ron clapped her on the back. He stood up and peered over her shoulder to get a better look. Within minutes, Harry's scratchy writing was transformed into Draco's elegant, flowing script.
"It's almost dinner, should we send it by owl?" Ron asked.
"Nah, I've got a better idea," Harry said while flexing his cramped fingers, "I could probably get Dobby to deliver it to her, that would be a lot easier."
"Good, it's settled then." Hermione said with a satisfied nod.
After they entered the Great Hall, the three friends positioned themselves so that they would have a perfect view of the upcoming spectacle. None of their plates were touched as they focused their full attention to the table across the room.
"What's wrong? Aren't you guys hungry?" Ginny asked them. She looked worried.
"Nothings wrong don't worry. " Hermione murmured, never drawing her attention away from Pansy.
"She got it!" Ron excitedly whispered, a wide grin spread across his face. "Showtime!"
"Who got it? What did she get? What's going on you guys?" Ginny questioned, staring accusingly at her brother.
"Be quiet, you'll see soon enough."
They watched Pansy's eyes grow wider and wider as she scanned the letter. A victorious smile spread across her face.
"She looks like a frog." Ron mumbled. Harry nodded in agreement.
"Yes! I knew it!" Pansy's shrill, enthusiastic cry engulfed the Hall, gaining the attention of the entire room. She hurriedly sprang from her seat. A glass of pumpkin juice got knocked over in her rush and spilled over the side of the table. Pansy didn't even notice it. She unceremoniously hurled herself into Draco's lap and threw her arms around him.
"What the hell, Pansy! Get off me!" A bewildered Draco yelled while trying to release himself from her death grip.
"I knew you loved me!" She loudly said. A wave of hushed whispers spread throughout the Hall.
"I WHAT?"
"Oh, Draco! I love you too!" With this comment, Draco seemed to have an extra serge of power and shoved her off of him.
"Lets get out of here!" Ron whispered, unsuccessfully trying to control his laughter.
It wasn't hard for them to get out unnoticed due to the excited crowd. Once out of the Hall, their laughter loudly echoed off the walls. Ron was clutching his side and rolling on the ground. "Did you see Malfoy's face? He was actually scared! I couldn't believe it!"
"It was perfect!" Harry gasped out. His eyes were watering from laughing so hard and he brushed a stray tear away from his cheek.
Their laughter only grew louder when a visibly shook up Draco burst through the door. "You had a part in this, didn't you?" the usually calm Malfoy bellowed. He pointed an accusing finger at all three of them. His eyes gleamed crazily.
"You can't prove that!" Ron said from his position on the ground.
Draco's hands were balled into tight fists, his knuckles turning white. "This is just a JOKE to you?" he was fuming. "My father is going to kill me just because of some idiotic PRANK?" Draco began pacing back and forth. He unclenched his hands and started to wave them wildly in the air. His palms had bloody nail marks on them. "Gods! Everyone in Pansy's family has the biggest mouth in the world! What am I going to do?" He nervously pushed a hand through his hair, leaving an almost unnoticeable red streak in his blond locks. "Pansy'll tell her father! Her father will tell my father!" He paused in his rant to take a shaky breath. "My gods! What will the Beauchamp family think? Oh! Father is going to be furious with me! He'll think that I've allowed my emotions to get the best of me! He'll think that I've gone soft! He'll think that..Oh shit! I've shamed the Malfoy name! I am so dead! What am I going to do?"
Hermione was looking scared.
Ron finally stood up and brushed the dust from his pants, "I knew Pansy was bad, but I never knew she was that awful!" Hermione hit him on the shoulder and sent him a silencing glare. Harry didn't notice this and continued to taunt Draco. "My gosh Malfoy, you're such a drama queen." He laughed at his joke.
"Harry!" Hermione warned, sending her glare in his direction.
"Really Malfoy, it cant be as bad as you're making it out to be. It was just a joke, there was no harm done," Hermione tried to reassure the young blond who was madly pacing back and forth.
"No harm done?" Draco whispered, staring off into space for a minute, lost in thought. He shook his head and looked as though he wasn't sure if he should say what was on his mind. The moment quickly passed.
"I don't know why everyone thinks you're so smart, Granger." Draco spat out, his voice had quickly changed to being icy and calm. "You're idiots, the whole lot of you." Draco narrowed his eyes until they were only tiny slits. He began vigorously tugging at a chain around his neck, lifted it in front of their faces and displayed a beautiful and expensive golden ring that reflected the light of the corridor. "I'm married."
Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Neither? Whatever it is, I want to know! Please review! All comments and constructive criticism are appreciated! Thanks!
(Still looking for that theme music!)
*Author walks onto the page and clears her throat. An extremely catchy beat begins playing. * If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, if you like to waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce isle. Then have we got a show for you. Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!..
Stop! Stop! Stop the music! Sorry about that! Wrong theme song. *scratches head * I wonder where I put my theme music... * looks around room* Ah well, you read the story while I look for my music, ok? Enjoy!
"Ron, that's brilliant! But what about the handwriting? How will we make it look like his?" Harry looked across the wooden table at the grinning red head.
Ron smiled even wider, "I don't have a clue, but I do know someone who will!"
"Hermione?"
"Hermione."
With a nod of agreement, the duo set off to Hermione's second home; the library.
Upon entering the familiar room, their eyes scanned the area and landed upon their target.
It hadn't taken a long time to search out Hermione; her distinctive hair was peaking out from behind a particularly large stack of novels. The fact that she was the only one there helped too.
"Hermione, its so good to see you!" Ron called while taking a seat to Hermione's left. He pushed a couple of her many books and quills to the side and glanced at the page she was looking at.
"No pictures," he muttered bitterly to himself and shook his head disapprovingly.
Lifting her head away from the book, Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed, "What do you want?"
"What ever makes you think that we want something?" Harry asked as innocently as he could manage and sat in the chair to her right. He casually slung an arm over her shoulder. "Can't we come to say 'hi!' to our smart, witty, wonderful, amazing friend without being accused of having ulterior motives?"
Hermione eyed the arm resting around her critically, "What do you two want? If you want to copy homework, my answer is still no. And I don't want to hear how you didn't have time, you have had plenty and-"
"We haven't come for your homework." Ron cut her off.
"What is it then? I'm really busy you guys."
"Should we tell her?" Harry glanced in Ron's direction.
"Might as well." Ron nodded, "You are just too smart, 'Mione, you saw right through us. As a matter of fact, we would like to have your assistance with something."
"You 'would like to have my assistance with something'? Ok, now I know something is up. What did you two do this time? Spill." Hermione glared at her friends and stuck a quill in between the pages that she was looking at before setting the book down.
" 'Mione," Harry bent to look into her eyes and put on his most innocent voice. "If you wanted to, I dunno, mimic someone's handwriting, how would you go about doing that? A spell maybe?"
"No way! Nuh uh! I'm not doing this; we'll get in trouble! I don't want to get detention or loose any house points or..."
"Oh come on," Ron pleaded, "It's not like we want a teacher's handwriting. It's just a student."
"What student?"
"Malfoy." Harry and Ron replied in unison.
"What on earth would you two do with Malfoy's handwriting?"
Ron rubbed his hands together and laughed, "We'd get revenge."
"I don't get it, how would having his handwriting give you revenge?"
Harry leaned even closer to Hermione and lowered his voice, "What would Pansy want more then anything else in the world?"
"Wait," Hermione interrupted, "What does that have to do with Malfoy's handwriting?"
"SHHHH!! Someone will hear you!" Ron quieted her, "Honestly Hermione, and you're supposed to be the smart one."
Before Hermione could protest, Harry jumped in, "You are brilliant Herm. That is why we need you. Ron was trying to say that you know how much Pansy loves Malfoy, right?"
Hermione blinked, "Well ya, its kind of obvious. What with how she is always clinging on him and such. It's really quite pathetic. I almost feel sorry for the guy, you can tell that he doesn't like her all that much."
"Exactly!" Harry enthusiastically slapped his hand on the table, "And what do you think Pansy would do if she got a letter from him? A letter that proclaimed his undying love for her?"
"She'd jump him in the middle of the Great Hall!" Ron excitedly broke into the conversation, "And Malfoy would be scared out of his mind. He'd probably run away, screaming like a little girl, while Pansy chased after him and tried to comfort him."
"It would be priceless! C'mon Mione, you gotta help us!"
"I don't 'gotta' do anything." Hermione sniffed indignantly, "Besides, it sounds rather juvenile."
"Please? For us?" Harry clasped his hands together while he pleaded with her.
After five minutes of begging, Hermione finally cracked. She sighed, "Fine." She tried to look indifferent but her eyes twinkled with amusement. "Who is going to compose the letter?"
An hour after their conversation in the library, the trio was sitting comfortably in the common room, trying to figure out the best way to end the letter.
"How about 'Love always, D.M.' ?" Harry asked, looking around at the faces of his other friends.
"Nah." Ron wrinkled his nose, "It isn't fluffy enough."
"How about 'You'll be in my dreams tonight, Draco.' ?" Hermione asked, trying to hold back her giggles.
"Oi, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed through his laughter, "That's perfect!"
"Done!" Harry exclaimed happily, setting down his quill and passing the parchment towards Hermione.
"I can't wait to see his face!" she said before murmuring the incantation.
"That's the spirit!" Ron clapped her on the back. He stood up and peered over her shoulder to get a better look. Within minutes, Harry's scratchy writing was transformed into Draco's elegant, flowing script.
"It's almost dinner, should we send it by owl?" Ron asked.
"Nah, I've got a better idea," Harry said while flexing his cramped fingers, "I could probably get Dobby to deliver it to her, that would be a lot easier."
"Good, it's settled then." Hermione said with a satisfied nod.
After they entered the Great Hall, the three friends positioned themselves so that they would have a perfect view of the upcoming spectacle. None of their plates were touched as they focused their full attention to the table across the room.
"What's wrong? Aren't you guys hungry?" Ginny asked them. She looked worried.
"Nothings wrong don't worry. " Hermione murmured, never drawing her attention away from Pansy.
"She got it!" Ron excitedly whispered, a wide grin spread across his face. "Showtime!"
"Who got it? What did she get? What's going on you guys?" Ginny questioned, staring accusingly at her brother.
"Be quiet, you'll see soon enough."
They watched Pansy's eyes grow wider and wider as she scanned the letter. A victorious smile spread across her face.
"She looks like a frog." Ron mumbled. Harry nodded in agreement.
"Yes! I knew it!" Pansy's shrill, enthusiastic cry engulfed the Hall, gaining the attention of the entire room. She hurriedly sprang from her seat. A glass of pumpkin juice got knocked over in her rush and spilled over the side of the table. Pansy didn't even notice it. She unceremoniously hurled herself into Draco's lap and threw her arms around him.
"What the hell, Pansy! Get off me!" A bewildered Draco yelled while trying to release himself from her death grip.
"I knew you loved me!" She loudly said. A wave of hushed whispers spread throughout the Hall.
"I WHAT?"
"Oh, Draco! I love you too!" With this comment, Draco seemed to have an extra serge of power and shoved her off of him.
"Lets get out of here!" Ron whispered, unsuccessfully trying to control his laughter.
It wasn't hard for them to get out unnoticed due to the excited crowd. Once out of the Hall, their laughter loudly echoed off the walls. Ron was clutching his side and rolling on the ground. "Did you see Malfoy's face? He was actually scared! I couldn't believe it!"
"It was perfect!" Harry gasped out. His eyes were watering from laughing so hard and he brushed a stray tear away from his cheek.
Their laughter only grew louder when a visibly shook up Draco burst through the door. "You had a part in this, didn't you?" the usually calm Malfoy bellowed. He pointed an accusing finger at all three of them. His eyes gleamed crazily.
"You can't prove that!" Ron said from his position on the ground.
Draco's hands were balled into tight fists, his knuckles turning white. "This is just a JOKE to you?" he was fuming. "My father is going to kill me just because of some idiotic PRANK?" Draco began pacing back and forth. He unclenched his hands and started to wave them wildly in the air. His palms had bloody nail marks on them. "Gods! Everyone in Pansy's family has the biggest mouth in the world! What am I going to do?" He nervously pushed a hand through his hair, leaving an almost unnoticeable red streak in his blond locks. "Pansy'll tell her father! Her father will tell my father!" He paused in his rant to take a shaky breath. "My gods! What will the Beauchamp family think? Oh! Father is going to be furious with me! He'll think that I've allowed my emotions to get the best of me! He'll think that I've gone soft! He'll think that..Oh shit! I've shamed the Malfoy name! I am so dead! What am I going to do?"
Hermione was looking scared.
Ron finally stood up and brushed the dust from his pants, "I knew Pansy was bad, but I never knew she was that awful!" Hermione hit him on the shoulder and sent him a silencing glare. Harry didn't notice this and continued to taunt Draco. "My gosh Malfoy, you're such a drama queen." He laughed at his joke.
"Harry!" Hermione warned, sending her glare in his direction.
"Really Malfoy, it cant be as bad as you're making it out to be. It was just a joke, there was no harm done," Hermione tried to reassure the young blond who was madly pacing back and forth.
"No harm done?" Draco whispered, staring off into space for a minute, lost in thought. He shook his head and looked as though he wasn't sure if he should say what was on his mind. The moment quickly passed.
"I don't know why everyone thinks you're so smart, Granger." Draco spat out, his voice had quickly changed to being icy and calm. "You're idiots, the whole lot of you." Draco narrowed his eyes until they were only tiny slits. He began vigorously tugging at a chain around his neck, lifted it in front of their faces and displayed a beautiful and expensive golden ring that reflected the light of the corridor. "I'm married."
Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Neither? Whatever it is, I want to know! Please review! All comments and constructive criticism are appreciated! Thanks!
(Still looking for that theme music!)