The dim and distant past
Hi folks! I decided to upload this fic in smaller chapters to shorten your waiting period till the next upload and to make it not seeming so much work to me ^___^
There's not much to say about this chapter... I keep asking myself for how long Haruka's gonna listen to Michiru... well, I planned this to be only Michiru's memory at first, but every story is better with Haruka, isn't it? So don't get worked up because it's not realistic telling such a long story at one evening, especially on Valentine's evening... maybe Michi's able to tell in time-lapse or something like that... hey, those two understand each other without words so it could be a case of Haruka reading Michiru's thoughts from her mind... hm, this is getting eerie...
...so Tara, I'm rackin' my brains over how to put Setsuna in this story...but maybe there is a way (thanks to Misa-chan)!
BTW, I'd never thought my English writing would go down so well with you *feeling honored a lot*! Haruka out of character? I dunno... she's cool in front of others, but I think she's allowed to beg upon Michiru ^.^ When a strong woman behaves obsequiously in front of someone, you should interpret it as a kind of present and proof for her love, huh? However, who knows what Haruka would've said!
This is written with regards to Lantys : "Once in America,..." *minnabangtheirheadsagainsthehotplate* o_O Must be kinda auld lang syne over there, huh? Julie: "It is!" -IF SO, WHY DONTCHA JUST GO BACK GIRL??????? Ouch,, I start sounding Anti-American... that wasn't what I meant to say with that, you must be careful what you say about America today, musn't you?
I'm starting to gabble too much again making a discussion on politics with myself... so Mata Ne!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon and its containing characters, but maybe there's a chance for me to buy Toei Animation once ^_-
Part I./I.
"Everything started when I was in 9th grade. It was going to be my last year at Junior High and I still hadn't made any real friendships neither at school nor in private. Not that I wasn't popular with the others, there had always been some girls that tried to make friendship with me. There had even been some guys who tried to date me.
But no matter how often I met them and tried to become part of their gang, I just could not force myself to join their thoughtless world.
They thought about stars to worship, about how they could spent their next weekend, about when the next edition of their favourite magazine was published. The girls talked about boyfriends and all the stuff they wanted to do if they had found their prince and all this superficial stuff. The boys kept telling me what cute girl I was, barely knowing anything about the real me.
Of course their were some folks I was working with because of my concerts and art exhibitions. They were way to arrogant, always congratulating themselves what great genies they were at their metiers. Those, some even not older than me, thought that they were something special.
I was walking on a narrow line between the 'usual' teenagers and those who thought themselves as some kind of gods and couldn't really understand anyone.
I wasn't sure about myself at all- was there something wrong with me or was it just a part of adolescence?
However, I just smiled and pretended to get along with those I had to deal with in my life. None of them ever asked about what I really felt; they thought I was perfect and never had to worry about anything.
It was Michiru who was one of the best students at school. It was Michiru who was recording some CDs and became well-known by every authority of classical music in Japan. It was Michiru who sold lots of her pictures for good money. It was Michiru who had always a smile and and some kind word for everybody.
And it was Michiru who never felt really understood. Inside, I built up a world of my own I used to flee to whenever I could.
I just couldn't appreciate the way the people around me accepted all the evil and underhanded things around them, how they didn't see anything but her own business.
This was how I was living until the first day of my last year before I entered high school- before I got to know her.
So it was about nine in the morning and I was staring out of the window disinterested. The teacher was talking about our new schedule and who had to do which task within the classroom when someone knocked on the door.
Before the teacher was able to call her in, the door swung widely open and a tall girl entered the room. She had shining red hair that immediately drawed everybody's attention to itself, bright ice-blue eyes and an unusual dark skin. She was roughly as tall as the most boys in class. Everybody was staring at the girl that did look so very different from the Asian look everybody was used to.
The strange girl introduced herself in some insecure Japanese as Elza Gray, the new exchange student from America. America! That sounded to me as such a different world and this girl was coming from this realm. I decided that I wanted to become her friend at once.
The teacher referred to the Japanese manners she had to get along with for the next year after she had tried to shake his hand.
"And now we're going to continue our discussion on what this year is going to be like. Gray-san, please take a seat next to Kaio-san. I'm sure she will be so kind and guide you through our building today, won't you, Kaio- san?"
My heart was pounding all of a sudden when I nodded and smiled conspicuously. Elza also grinned when she sat down on the chair next to me. We understood each other before we had done any chatting.
When the gong rang in the next lesson I looked at my timetable- we should have a double maths lesson every Monday morning from now on! Elza was quite silent all the lesson from what I supposed she wasn't good at maths. Nor was I, but I always tried to work hard because I knew I had to be good in every subject to be admitted to the special musical high school I had selected for me.
So the lessons went by and I didn't talk a lot with Elza. In the Japanese lesson, the last lesson before our lunch break, I noticed she barely couldn't keep up with the teacher's writing.
Finally, the lesson ended and we walked towards the cafeteria. I worried about sounding rude, but I had to ask her.
"Elza, for how long have you been learning Japanese by now?" She looked at me puzzled. "Um... well, I learned it for one year, but I hardly know any kanji." "Ara... but you can keep up with speaking?" "It's going to work someway."
"So why are you in Japan now?"
"I got a scholarship for this year because I was the best in my grade. I'd have liked better to go to Europe, but I got the one for Japan and I felt far to flattered to decline it." "So it is a big adjustment for you to live here?"
I thought of America as some sort of Wonderland. How naive I was- but from my point of view, everything was better than conservative Japan.
"All of you are that small here..." Elza giggled, patting on my head. No Japanese would ever have dared something like that, but I started to love her just because she was that open-hearted and so I joined her giggling.
"But what about learning kanji?" I interrupted her after a while. "Could you teach me-I mean, if you aren't too busy?" "No, I'm not."
There were 'only' some concerts and shows almost every weekend, school, homework swimming class and looking after my apartment, but all those things didn't really matter anymore when I saw her smile and the trust in her eyes. I thought I had found a true friend for the first time of my life, not knowing about Elza's idea how our relationship was going to be.
Elza rubbed all those around her up the wrong way- she was the strange American girl that was taller than any girl at school, who never really cared when a sensei was shouting at her, the one who was always shaking hands instead of bowing, the one who held her chopsticks clumsily. Elza was a loud girl that always said what was on her mind without ever obeying anyone. She was open-hearted for what I had loved her from the very moment she had entered my life- I had had enough of that lousy plotting and scheming around me.
Soon we became known to everybody at school because we never appeared separated anywhere. We were the strange ones at our school class and so they everyone thought it was the best to leave us alone.
Elza was learning the kanji fast while she had lots of training in athletics, for she was very talented in running. None of the Japanese pupils could keep up with her in this- not even the boys. I always loved to watch her at training because she seemed to be herself more than at any other point in time when she was sprinting.
With regard to Elza, she never seemed to be interested in making friends except some people she got to know from her track and field association.
We spent our afternoons learning for school and talking about everything that came to our minds. Elza often told me about America that still seemed sort of another world for me though I learned soon that it wasn't a perfect world neither. I thought there would never be one I was made for and so I continued dreaming of a land that had been made for me.
There wasn't much time for dreaming.
One Friday evening in July we went to the cinema and to a nice café at the bay of Tokyo afterwards. I had planned to have a typical sleep-over at my best friend's house, a small apartment near the Tokyo Tower.
Don't get the wrong idea, I had never thought about being in love with a girl at this point of time. In fact, I never really thought of being in love with anyone before.
However, it was almost ten and I was stirring my tea, doing a little daydreaming. Elza hat gotten used to that. Right in the moment she opened her mouth I was thinking about how the American had accepted me just the way I was from the beginning. How lucky I was!
"Michiru?" Elza never made use of suffixes when she talked with people she liked. Actually, she didn't seem to know any other suffix than '-san'.
"Michiru?"
When I looked up to the red-haired girl, her face had the most serious expression that I'd ever seen on her.
"Nani? Is there anything wrong with my hair?" What a silly question- of course it wasn't. I wore it loose and had some small strands plaited.
"No, you look perfectly fine. And that's the point, Michiru..." "Well, you look great, too."
She wore some threadbare blue jeans and a black tank top- nothing really special, but her aura did everything. She didn't need any special clothes or make-up, she was just herself and that was what made her so beautiful... but what was I thinking again?
"That's not what I mean." She seemed to fight with something within herself for a second, but at the end, the truth, her bare thoughts got out of control.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend, Michiru?"
I started giggling. "Gotcha! You're in love, aren't you? But if I had to answer your question... I never had one."
"Yes, I am..."
Elza's face blushed until it became almost as red as her hair. "And who is the lucky one?" I asked impatiently.
"Ummm... that doesn't really matter..."
"Do I know him?" Her expression turned from embarrassed to really depressed. I decided to change the topic because otherwise the mood might have turned only sadder.
We left the café soon though dawn was only breaking when we arrived at Elza's apartment towards eleven. Her flat was much smaller than mine that I paid with the money I earned from my concerts, but hers was still big for a Japanese one.
Elza hated Japanese flats because she was used to rooms about double the size of the ones she had to live in now.
When she went to the bathroom to change her clothes, I noticed that she had left the door open slightly. At the very moment, I couldn't help myself but to peep on her. And for the second time that day I was asking myself what I was doing. Where had the polite, innocent Michiru gone to?
But the main question I asked myself when I looked through the gap was why I was spying on a girl, even on my best friend. My question should have been answered sooner as I'd ever assumed.
"Michiru, don't just stand outside there, you can come in if you need to get changed here... I'm almost done anyway.
I jumped a bit to the side when I heard Elza's voice. What was the matter? We were both girls, weren't we?
So I mumbled something like "Just a minute" and ran off to the living room where I had left lying about my bag.
I entered the bathroom and almost took a step back when I saw Elza brushing her teeth only in her bra and some tight black boxer shorts. I was staring at her thoroughly trained body and never-ending seeming legs.
She smiled at me and muttered that I should close the door or something like that- I didn't get the exact wording because of the toothbrush in her mouth.
I closed the door and kept watching the girl who was trying to smile at me what only made her swallow some toothpaste.
Inexplicable- for me- I didn't dare changing my clothes.
"Michiru..." Elza had finished her cleaning and put on a wide t-shirt. I still stood at the door and was totally astonished she didn't say anything but stared into my eyes directly. Her clear blue eyes seemed to pass trough my soul with one single look.
"Wait a moment before you get changed... Michiru, I need to tell you something. You probably won't be glad about it, maybe you'll never want to see me again after I told you, but I beg you to listen. If you're crossed with me afterwards you can leave right now, I'll get you a taxi."
Suddenly I foresaw what she was going to tell me. I wouldn't be going to confuse me anyway. But I had never had the courage to confess it to myself neither to anyone other.
"Go on..." I smiled at her confidently.
"Well, Michiru, how should I say it? I'm no one of long speeches. I never felt attracted to any boy. I suppose I never will. And at this moment, for the last few months, I have always been attracted to you. I'm sorry but I've fallen in love with you, Michiru..."
I decided not to torture her any longer as I pulled her close to me and kissed her gently on her delicate lips.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
to be continued soon... Hm, this stuff reminds me on my first experiences *looking innocent*...
Please have a 'lil more patience- tests at school are put in soon -_______-
Yukio -skygoddess@gmx.net
Hi folks! I decided to upload this fic in smaller chapters to shorten your waiting period till the next upload and to make it not seeming so much work to me ^___^
There's not much to say about this chapter... I keep asking myself for how long Haruka's gonna listen to Michiru... well, I planned this to be only Michiru's memory at first, but every story is better with Haruka, isn't it? So don't get worked up because it's not realistic telling such a long story at one evening, especially on Valentine's evening... maybe Michi's able to tell in time-lapse or something like that... hey, those two understand each other without words so it could be a case of Haruka reading Michiru's thoughts from her mind... hm, this is getting eerie...
...so Tara, I'm rackin' my brains over how to put Setsuna in this story...but maybe there is a way (thanks to Misa-chan)!
BTW, I'd never thought my English writing would go down so well with you *feeling honored a lot*! Haruka out of character? I dunno... she's cool in front of others, but I think she's allowed to beg upon Michiru ^.^ When a strong woman behaves obsequiously in front of someone, you should interpret it as a kind of present and proof for her love, huh? However, who knows what Haruka would've said!
This is written with regards to Lantys : "Once in America,..." *minnabangtheirheadsagainsthehotplate* o_O Must be kinda auld lang syne over there, huh? Julie: "It is!" -IF SO, WHY DONTCHA JUST GO BACK GIRL??????? Ouch,, I start sounding Anti-American... that wasn't what I meant to say with that, you must be careful what you say about America today, musn't you?
I'm starting to gabble too much again making a discussion on politics with myself... so Mata Ne!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon and its containing characters, but maybe there's a chance for me to buy Toei Animation once ^_-
Part I./I.
"Everything started when I was in 9th grade. It was going to be my last year at Junior High and I still hadn't made any real friendships neither at school nor in private. Not that I wasn't popular with the others, there had always been some girls that tried to make friendship with me. There had even been some guys who tried to date me.
But no matter how often I met them and tried to become part of their gang, I just could not force myself to join their thoughtless world.
They thought about stars to worship, about how they could spent their next weekend, about when the next edition of their favourite magazine was published. The girls talked about boyfriends and all the stuff they wanted to do if they had found their prince and all this superficial stuff. The boys kept telling me what cute girl I was, barely knowing anything about the real me.
Of course their were some folks I was working with because of my concerts and art exhibitions. They were way to arrogant, always congratulating themselves what great genies they were at their metiers. Those, some even not older than me, thought that they were something special.
I was walking on a narrow line between the 'usual' teenagers and those who thought themselves as some kind of gods and couldn't really understand anyone.
I wasn't sure about myself at all- was there something wrong with me or was it just a part of adolescence?
However, I just smiled and pretended to get along with those I had to deal with in my life. None of them ever asked about what I really felt; they thought I was perfect and never had to worry about anything.
It was Michiru who was one of the best students at school. It was Michiru who was recording some CDs and became well-known by every authority of classical music in Japan. It was Michiru who sold lots of her pictures for good money. It was Michiru who had always a smile and and some kind word for everybody.
And it was Michiru who never felt really understood. Inside, I built up a world of my own I used to flee to whenever I could.
I just couldn't appreciate the way the people around me accepted all the evil and underhanded things around them, how they didn't see anything but her own business.
This was how I was living until the first day of my last year before I entered high school- before I got to know her.
So it was about nine in the morning and I was staring out of the window disinterested. The teacher was talking about our new schedule and who had to do which task within the classroom when someone knocked on the door.
Before the teacher was able to call her in, the door swung widely open and a tall girl entered the room. She had shining red hair that immediately drawed everybody's attention to itself, bright ice-blue eyes and an unusual dark skin. She was roughly as tall as the most boys in class. Everybody was staring at the girl that did look so very different from the Asian look everybody was used to.
The strange girl introduced herself in some insecure Japanese as Elza Gray, the new exchange student from America. America! That sounded to me as such a different world and this girl was coming from this realm. I decided that I wanted to become her friend at once.
The teacher referred to the Japanese manners she had to get along with for the next year after she had tried to shake his hand.
"And now we're going to continue our discussion on what this year is going to be like. Gray-san, please take a seat next to Kaio-san. I'm sure she will be so kind and guide you through our building today, won't you, Kaio- san?"
My heart was pounding all of a sudden when I nodded and smiled conspicuously. Elza also grinned when she sat down on the chair next to me. We understood each other before we had done any chatting.
When the gong rang in the next lesson I looked at my timetable- we should have a double maths lesson every Monday morning from now on! Elza was quite silent all the lesson from what I supposed she wasn't good at maths. Nor was I, but I always tried to work hard because I knew I had to be good in every subject to be admitted to the special musical high school I had selected for me.
So the lessons went by and I didn't talk a lot with Elza. In the Japanese lesson, the last lesson before our lunch break, I noticed she barely couldn't keep up with the teacher's writing.
Finally, the lesson ended and we walked towards the cafeteria. I worried about sounding rude, but I had to ask her.
"Elza, for how long have you been learning Japanese by now?" She looked at me puzzled. "Um... well, I learned it for one year, but I hardly know any kanji." "Ara... but you can keep up with speaking?" "It's going to work someway."
"So why are you in Japan now?"
"I got a scholarship for this year because I was the best in my grade. I'd have liked better to go to Europe, but I got the one for Japan and I felt far to flattered to decline it." "So it is a big adjustment for you to live here?"
I thought of America as some sort of Wonderland. How naive I was- but from my point of view, everything was better than conservative Japan.
"All of you are that small here..." Elza giggled, patting on my head. No Japanese would ever have dared something like that, but I started to love her just because she was that open-hearted and so I joined her giggling.
"But what about learning kanji?" I interrupted her after a while. "Could you teach me-I mean, if you aren't too busy?" "No, I'm not."
There were 'only' some concerts and shows almost every weekend, school, homework swimming class and looking after my apartment, but all those things didn't really matter anymore when I saw her smile and the trust in her eyes. I thought I had found a true friend for the first time of my life, not knowing about Elza's idea how our relationship was going to be.
Elza rubbed all those around her up the wrong way- she was the strange American girl that was taller than any girl at school, who never really cared when a sensei was shouting at her, the one who was always shaking hands instead of bowing, the one who held her chopsticks clumsily. Elza was a loud girl that always said what was on her mind without ever obeying anyone. She was open-hearted for what I had loved her from the very moment she had entered my life- I had had enough of that lousy plotting and scheming around me.
Soon we became known to everybody at school because we never appeared separated anywhere. We were the strange ones at our school class and so they everyone thought it was the best to leave us alone.
Elza was learning the kanji fast while she had lots of training in athletics, for she was very talented in running. None of the Japanese pupils could keep up with her in this- not even the boys. I always loved to watch her at training because she seemed to be herself more than at any other point in time when she was sprinting.
With regard to Elza, she never seemed to be interested in making friends except some people she got to know from her track and field association.
We spent our afternoons learning for school and talking about everything that came to our minds. Elza often told me about America that still seemed sort of another world for me though I learned soon that it wasn't a perfect world neither. I thought there would never be one I was made for and so I continued dreaming of a land that had been made for me.
There wasn't much time for dreaming.
One Friday evening in July we went to the cinema and to a nice café at the bay of Tokyo afterwards. I had planned to have a typical sleep-over at my best friend's house, a small apartment near the Tokyo Tower.
Don't get the wrong idea, I had never thought about being in love with a girl at this point of time. In fact, I never really thought of being in love with anyone before.
However, it was almost ten and I was stirring my tea, doing a little daydreaming. Elza hat gotten used to that. Right in the moment she opened her mouth I was thinking about how the American had accepted me just the way I was from the beginning. How lucky I was!
"Michiru?" Elza never made use of suffixes when she talked with people she liked. Actually, she didn't seem to know any other suffix than '-san'.
"Michiru?"
When I looked up to the red-haired girl, her face had the most serious expression that I'd ever seen on her.
"Nani? Is there anything wrong with my hair?" What a silly question- of course it wasn't. I wore it loose and had some small strands plaited.
"No, you look perfectly fine. And that's the point, Michiru..." "Well, you look great, too."
She wore some threadbare blue jeans and a black tank top- nothing really special, but her aura did everything. She didn't need any special clothes or make-up, she was just herself and that was what made her so beautiful... but what was I thinking again?
"That's not what I mean." She seemed to fight with something within herself for a second, but at the end, the truth, her bare thoughts got out of control.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend, Michiru?"
I started giggling. "Gotcha! You're in love, aren't you? But if I had to answer your question... I never had one."
"Yes, I am..."
Elza's face blushed until it became almost as red as her hair. "And who is the lucky one?" I asked impatiently.
"Ummm... that doesn't really matter..."
"Do I know him?" Her expression turned from embarrassed to really depressed. I decided to change the topic because otherwise the mood might have turned only sadder.
We left the café soon though dawn was only breaking when we arrived at Elza's apartment towards eleven. Her flat was much smaller than mine that I paid with the money I earned from my concerts, but hers was still big for a Japanese one.
Elza hated Japanese flats because she was used to rooms about double the size of the ones she had to live in now.
When she went to the bathroom to change her clothes, I noticed that she had left the door open slightly. At the very moment, I couldn't help myself but to peep on her. And for the second time that day I was asking myself what I was doing. Where had the polite, innocent Michiru gone to?
But the main question I asked myself when I looked through the gap was why I was spying on a girl, even on my best friend. My question should have been answered sooner as I'd ever assumed.
"Michiru, don't just stand outside there, you can come in if you need to get changed here... I'm almost done anyway.
I jumped a bit to the side when I heard Elza's voice. What was the matter? We were both girls, weren't we?
So I mumbled something like "Just a minute" and ran off to the living room where I had left lying about my bag.
I entered the bathroom and almost took a step back when I saw Elza brushing her teeth only in her bra and some tight black boxer shorts. I was staring at her thoroughly trained body and never-ending seeming legs.
She smiled at me and muttered that I should close the door or something like that- I didn't get the exact wording because of the toothbrush in her mouth.
I closed the door and kept watching the girl who was trying to smile at me what only made her swallow some toothpaste.
Inexplicable- for me- I didn't dare changing my clothes.
"Michiru..." Elza had finished her cleaning and put on a wide t-shirt. I still stood at the door and was totally astonished she didn't say anything but stared into my eyes directly. Her clear blue eyes seemed to pass trough my soul with one single look.
"Wait a moment before you get changed... Michiru, I need to tell you something. You probably won't be glad about it, maybe you'll never want to see me again after I told you, but I beg you to listen. If you're crossed with me afterwards you can leave right now, I'll get you a taxi."
Suddenly I foresaw what she was going to tell me. I wouldn't be going to confuse me anyway. But I had never had the courage to confess it to myself neither to anyone other.
"Go on..." I smiled at her confidently.
"Well, Michiru, how should I say it? I'm no one of long speeches. I never felt attracted to any boy. I suppose I never will. And at this moment, for the last few months, I have always been attracted to you. I'm sorry but I've fallen in love with you, Michiru..."
I decided not to torture her any longer as I pulled her close to me and kissed her gently on her delicate lips.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
to be continued soon... Hm, this stuff reminds me on my first experiences *looking innocent*...
Please have a 'lil more patience- tests at school are put in soon -_______-
Yukio -skygoddess@gmx.net