The Dim and Distant Past
Hi minna-san!
Wow, this became rather a retelling of something I experienced... never mind, there is not much to tell about this chapter... so thanks to everyone who reads this stuff ^_- Arigato!!!
Dedicated to my Michiru who'll never read this...
BTW, this story made me listen to Mme Celine Dion's great CDs after a long time... "Immortality" gave me the idea to write this story... it just suits to Michiru's feelings for Elza... well not this early in the story but you'll see soon. Anyhow, songs often introduce ideas for fanfiction to me... but songfics are quite hard to writ coz song has to go down well with the story in both lyrics and melody.
So I prefer writing an usual fic and tell what music has inspired me to do it (yay, I found a more elegant way than just screeching: "Listen to it!" *jumps around*)!
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the characters going with it doesn't belong to me, I just borrowed them for my little story ^________-
**********************************************************
Part I./II.- Together forever ???
Days and weeks passed by quickly when we once had taken the step to admit our love for each other.
Soon, I spent every minute of my free time with Elza.
When I had a concert, Elza was always sitting in the first row, gazing at me with a loving expression in her beautiful blue eyes which reminded me of the sky in these summer days we spent together.
When she had a competition, I left everything undone to have the chance to watch her running, leaving all those who would never be able to understand her far behind.
Nobody ever asked us about what kind our relationship was and if I had had to put it into words, I couldn't have answered it at that time.
Though both of us actually knew our relationship wasn't a platonic one at all, we never talked about it.
I'd never have dared to call it a 'lesbian love' although I thought of it as one when we broke up.
Of course there was kissing, sometimes passionate, and we always kept close to another.
I felt this wasn't everything Elza had our relationship expected to be, but at the other hand, despite my love for her I knew it wasn't my turn to take any further steps.
Not that I didn't want her, not that I thought there was anything wrong with our love, I just had the feeling I wasn't ready yet.
If you ask me now about the way our relationship was, it's still hard for me to describe it accurately- there was love, there was a perfect affinity with each other, and yes, there was also lust but I guess I suppressed it in my subconsciousness.
We spent a fantastic time together, fed upon each other and matured a lot this way.
Perhaps it was the purest love that would ever exist, but maybe it was just probationary love between two teenage girls attracted to each other.
However, time was almost flying and we weren't realizing how soon the first semester of grade nine passed by.
Teachers put us more under pressure than in the first half-year, always reminding everyone to learn, learn, learn all day to pass the entrance examinations next spring.
It was a warm October day when Elza and I walked to a small, deserted café we had discovered some days before after school.
Some rays of the golden autumn sun were running trough the almost leafless trees when Elza suddenly stopped walking and grabbed my arm.
"Michi?"
"Nani?"
"What are you going to do after Junior High?
I had expected this question for a long time but still hadn't thought of another answer as the truth.
"I'm going to Ototaki Gakko [1], ara, that's when I pass the exam..."
Elza looked stunned for a moment, then pulling herself together again.
"That famous music High School?"
"Hai."
"Well..."
She was far too scared to tell me the truth yet she knew that I could read the thought from her mind.
"You're going to leave Japan, aren't you?"
Ice-blue eyes slowly filled with tears as she hugged me.
I felt them running from her face down my neck warmly.
"I'm so sorry, Michi..."
I wiped the liquid out of her face and gently kissed her cheek.
"Iku, let's go to some place were we are alone, all right?"
Still sobbing, she put her arm around my waist as we walked towards my apartment.
Both sitting on the large western style couch that almost filled half the room, we just looked at each other for some minutes until Elza finally broke the silence.
"It's not that you'd never see me again when I leave Japan in March..."
"But I won't see you for a long time. Who knows what happens? You could find someone better than me."
She kissed me and whispered tenderly in my ear: "There is no one that could replace you, my Michi-chan. Besides, you could get to know someone either."
"I'll never even play with that idea!"
"You will."
"Never!"
The taller girl tightened herself and put on a solemn face.
"Kaiou Michiru, I bet you will find someone better than me. Someone who'll never have to leave you, someone much better than me. I can't treat you as you deserve to be treated- have you ever thought about this?"
Though I had listened sharp, I didn't get the meaning of her words. I didn't want to.
"Stop mocking me! I love you so much I never want to live with someone other than you, Elza."
Now it was me who was sobbing. Elza embraced and held me tightly.
"That's my Michi, always turning her eyes from reality and escaping into her world of dreams.
I love you too, and that's why I think it's better for you to break up with me. This world isn't all made of rapture and love. I'm an American girl who has to leave you soon. That will hurt you a lot. And, as I've said before, I'm a girl. I don't know what you feel but I'd call this a lesbian relationship. People will mock you all your live because of this. I know this for I had the same problems even in you 'perfect' America. You don't deserve this!"
As if I didn't know this. I kissed her gently as I ran my fingers through her short red hair.
She shed some tears and hid her face in the curtain of my long loose hair.
"Listen, Elza. I can deal with the suffering, with the mocking as long as I can be with you. I know it'll be hard to live without you the next years, but it would be even harder to live without you the next months. I don't care how long I can spend time with you, as long as this short time is... well, as long as it is with you at all."
"Really?"
"Honto."
She smiled at me happily as she began kissing my neck, pulling me closer to her.
I imagined to hear her heartbeat as we kissed more passionate than we had ever kissed before.
"Let's make the best of the time we've left."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] "Ototaki" means "sound of waterfall"...well that's translated VERY rough but I just needed a name for the school!
Maybe a little short, but leave it to your imagination what happens next ^_- Michiru really wouldn't tell this Haruka, nah?
to be continued... the next chapter tells how Michiru became a Senshi... I've always wanted to write something about this ^_______^
Please do a review or naked Mamoru in a gateau will be send to you!
Yukio (skygoddess@gmx.net)
2003/02/26, 15:44
Hi minna-san!
Wow, this became rather a retelling of something I experienced... never mind, there is not much to tell about this chapter... so thanks to everyone who reads this stuff ^_- Arigato!!!
Dedicated to my Michiru who'll never read this...
BTW, this story made me listen to Mme Celine Dion's great CDs after a long time... "Immortality" gave me the idea to write this story... it just suits to Michiru's feelings for Elza... well not this early in the story but you'll see soon. Anyhow, songs often introduce ideas for fanfiction to me... but songfics are quite hard to writ coz song has to go down well with the story in both lyrics and melody.
So I prefer writing an usual fic and tell what music has inspired me to do it (yay, I found a more elegant way than just screeching: "Listen to it!" *jumps around*)!
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the characters going with it doesn't belong to me, I just borrowed them for my little story ^________-
**********************************************************
Part I./II.- Together forever ???
Days and weeks passed by quickly when we once had taken the step to admit our love for each other.
Soon, I spent every minute of my free time with Elza.
When I had a concert, Elza was always sitting in the first row, gazing at me with a loving expression in her beautiful blue eyes which reminded me of the sky in these summer days we spent together.
When she had a competition, I left everything undone to have the chance to watch her running, leaving all those who would never be able to understand her far behind.
Nobody ever asked us about what kind our relationship was and if I had had to put it into words, I couldn't have answered it at that time.
Though both of us actually knew our relationship wasn't a platonic one at all, we never talked about it.
I'd never have dared to call it a 'lesbian love' although I thought of it as one when we broke up.
Of course there was kissing, sometimes passionate, and we always kept close to another.
I felt this wasn't everything Elza had our relationship expected to be, but at the other hand, despite my love for her I knew it wasn't my turn to take any further steps.
Not that I didn't want her, not that I thought there was anything wrong with our love, I just had the feeling I wasn't ready yet.
If you ask me now about the way our relationship was, it's still hard for me to describe it accurately- there was love, there was a perfect affinity with each other, and yes, there was also lust but I guess I suppressed it in my subconsciousness.
We spent a fantastic time together, fed upon each other and matured a lot this way.
Perhaps it was the purest love that would ever exist, but maybe it was just probationary love between two teenage girls attracted to each other.
However, time was almost flying and we weren't realizing how soon the first semester of grade nine passed by.
Teachers put us more under pressure than in the first half-year, always reminding everyone to learn, learn, learn all day to pass the entrance examinations next spring.
It was a warm October day when Elza and I walked to a small, deserted café we had discovered some days before after school.
Some rays of the golden autumn sun were running trough the almost leafless trees when Elza suddenly stopped walking and grabbed my arm.
"Michi?"
"Nani?"
"What are you going to do after Junior High?
I had expected this question for a long time but still hadn't thought of another answer as the truth.
"I'm going to Ototaki Gakko [1], ara, that's when I pass the exam..."
Elza looked stunned for a moment, then pulling herself together again.
"That famous music High School?"
"Hai."
"Well..."
She was far too scared to tell me the truth yet she knew that I could read the thought from her mind.
"You're going to leave Japan, aren't you?"
Ice-blue eyes slowly filled with tears as she hugged me.
I felt them running from her face down my neck warmly.
"I'm so sorry, Michi..."
I wiped the liquid out of her face and gently kissed her cheek.
"Iku, let's go to some place were we are alone, all right?"
Still sobbing, she put her arm around my waist as we walked towards my apartment.
Both sitting on the large western style couch that almost filled half the room, we just looked at each other for some minutes until Elza finally broke the silence.
"It's not that you'd never see me again when I leave Japan in March..."
"But I won't see you for a long time. Who knows what happens? You could find someone better than me."
She kissed me and whispered tenderly in my ear: "There is no one that could replace you, my Michi-chan. Besides, you could get to know someone either."
"I'll never even play with that idea!"
"You will."
"Never!"
The taller girl tightened herself and put on a solemn face.
"Kaiou Michiru, I bet you will find someone better than me. Someone who'll never have to leave you, someone much better than me. I can't treat you as you deserve to be treated- have you ever thought about this?"
Though I had listened sharp, I didn't get the meaning of her words. I didn't want to.
"Stop mocking me! I love you so much I never want to live with someone other than you, Elza."
Now it was me who was sobbing. Elza embraced and held me tightly.
"That's my Michi, always turning her eyes from reality and escaping into her world of dreams.
I love you too, and that's why I think it's better for you to break up with me. This world isn't all made of rapture and love. I'm an American girl who has to leave you soon. That will hurt you a lot. And, as I've said before, I'm a girl. I don't know what you feel but I'd call this a lesbian relationship. People will mock you all your live because of this. I know this for I had the same problems even in you 'perfect' America. You don't deserve this!"
As if I didn't know this. I kissed her gently as I ran my fingers through her short red hair.
She shed some tears and hid her face in the curtain of my long loose hair.
"Listen, Elza. I can deal with the suffering, with the mocking as long as I can be with you. I know it'll be hard to live without you the next years, but it would be even harder to live without you the next months. I don't care how long I can spend time with you, as long as this short time is... well, as long as it is with you at all."
"Really?"
"Honto."
She smiled at me happily as she began kissing my neck, pulling me closer to her.
I imagined to hear her heartbeat as we kissed more passionate than we had ever kissed before.
"Let's make the best of the time we've left."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] "Ototaki" means "sound of waterfall"...well that's translated VERY rough but I just needed a name for the school!
Maybe a little short, but leave it to your imagination what happens next ^_- Michiru really wouldn't tell this Haruka, nah?
to be continued... the next chapter tells how Michiru became a Senshi... I've always wanted to write something about this ^_______^
Please do a review or naked Mamoru in a gateau will be send to you!
Yukio (skygoddess@gmx.net)
2003/02/26, 15:44