The Dim and Distant Past
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon+Characters+ Toei Animation=mine Condition: "me"=Naoko Takeuchi, but me is "Yukio" !
Aww, I'm really sorry I needed this long to write the next chapter again...somehow I never find enough spare time to write down everything that's in my head!
This is another version of Haruka's past; did you ever notice no one grants her a peaceful childhood? Hence I thought Elza helping Haruka out of her misery would match the story...
This chapter is dedicated to all those people who review my stories and give me a lot of courage to write, to Oba-san who wanted a nice childhood for Ruka, to Holly to whom my *%#§ mailsystem doesn't want to send any emails -___- I'm really sorry but I'm working on it, dear...
Further thanks to da Brompton City Gang- Saki (Luv ya!),Misa (another silly and boring fanfic ^_-), Phil (for mental support and cooking when the former are too dumb), Hoshi (for lots of alcohol!) and Valli (for...oh well, just being there *knuddel*):"For years we keep doin´that, known for bein´not much more than just glad!"
CU in the next chapter!
**************************************************************** Part II/I - As Thick As Thieves
Haruka was woken up by some cheeky sunrays tickling in her nose. She turned around sleepily and looked directly into Michiru's smiling aqua blue eyes.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The blonde innocently kissed her lover's cheek.
"How long have you been awake already?" "Almost about an hour, I guess..." Haruka rubbed through her eyes, then raised an eyebrow. "You've got to much spare time, haven't you?"
Michiru stretched herself and smiled again. "I was watching you."
The racer shook her head. "Mad woman." "This is what you call artistic liberty,dear...",Michiru giggled.
Both looked at each other. Their eyes said 'I love you' as they moved closed to each other and kissed.
After breakfast, Haruka decided she wouldn't hold in her story anymore.
"Michi", she began. "Nani?" "There is something about Elza you don't know yet. About Elza and me..."
"Don't say you had a relationship with her, too."
Actually, Michiru wasn't in the mood to listen to another story after she had spend so much time telling hers. But now she definitely was becoming curious.
Haruka grinned. "That wouldn't have been bad... I'm sorry I have to disappoint you, we had a sort of relationship but not really the one you are thinking about, was always thinking about, wasn't you?"
Michiru blushed slightly. How naive she had been about this... "Then tell me what kind of relationship it was, Ruka-chan."
"... the real story also starts at ninth grade, but too make you understand the whole scene, I need to start from an earlier point of my life than you did... On my 15th birthday,I decided to finally tell my parents about the feelings I've had had for about three years now but wasn't able to stand behind until then.
I can clearly remember how strange I felt when I entered Junior High. Before this I had been a 'normal' girl- what you call normal for a child, I guess. But then everything changed. All the other girls started being mad about boys, to adore pop singers and worrying about such things as their clothing and make-up and other things I never thought about.
I was really confused when I realized I managed being friends with boys better than with girls. No, being friends is exaggerated. I just could understand them much better.
My friends until this point had always been girls, but suddenly we had so many different opinions it was hard to continue the friendships with them. Somehow I did, otherwise I'd been all alone.
But I was deeply confused- wondered if there was something wrong with me, and even thought I was retarded to my classmates. But all I really knew was that those girls' world wasn't made for me.
When I started dressing like a boy, my parents made some jokes but didn't worry about it. When I had my hair that was to down to my chest cut short, they thought it would be a pubescent phase.
Finally, I got to enthuse about other girls. At last I knew why I had felt this strange the last years.
My father had put me into the athletics club at primary school and had always managed my sports career, even when I had expressed the wish to start motor sport, he had paid for it. My mother's opinion was that every girl should know how to play at least one instrument so I've had piano lessons since my tenth birthday.
My father was a respected businessman but also a loving husband and father. I loved my parents- whatever I did, they supported me. They raised me with the advice to always go my own way.
Because of this I was confident that they would understand- or at least, tolerate- it that their only daughter had feelings for girls instead of boys.
But when I told this my mother on the afternoon of my fifteenth birthday, she reacted totally out of character. At first I thought she was going insane- my always calm and friendly mum looked at me with an almost disturbed expression in her eyes. Then she shed some tears and whispered something like she'd been too slackly with my upbringing.
She told me the birthday party I'd planned for the evening would be cancelled on account of a private talk with my parents that was- as she said- desperately needed. In my family, we'd always talked frankly about everything. I agreed, thinking that I could party the next evening as well.
In the evening my father didn't speak normally for the first time. He shouted and told me what a 'dirty bitch' I'd be, expressing my thanks for his love with being a 'damned lesbian'. In addition, he exclaimed that having a lesbian in his family would bring him a bad reputation. My mother sat there and didn't contradict him. When I asked her what she thought about the whole thing, she told me she had the same opinion as my father.
At the end, they let me the choice to stay at their house, becoming a 'normal girl' again or to move out and live on my own.
Deeply dissappointed, I withdrew my parents and decided to never trust in anyone except myself. Half a year later,I still couldn't believe my parents had simply let me down. No more loving words, no more support apart from the money they gave me to pay my apartment and living.
Completely in rage, I concentrated on sports as much as I could. Soon no one in my athletics team at school could keep up with me and I participated at countless competions in whole Tokyo. And I always won.
Running was like forgetting everything around me, leaving the fight with my parents and the pain to live all alone far behing me. It eased my wounds- at least for about 10 seconds.
I had really gotten used to win every competition when I had one against another school's athletics team. All the way, a red-haired girl was close behind me and although I finally was on the first place,I hated her for keeping up with me. She had disturbed me while I tried to vanish into my own world where I still lived with my trusting parents and where no one had ever hurt me.
After the competion, when I was almost ready to start my motorbike and drive home, a husky voice interrupted me with starting the machine.
"Tenou Haruka-san, that's your name, isn't it?" It was the girl that had been on the second place today. I lifted my helmet. I realized she was quite cute with her strange accent, her dark skin and clear blue eyes. More than cute.
"Yeah, sorry but I can't remember your name. It was something American though, wasn't it?" "Elza Gray. I'm here for exchange for this school year."
"You were pretty good today." What a lousy compliment! I hated myself for saying that. But Elza blushed. "Not good enough."
My hear skipped a beat when Elza looked in my eyes. She looked at me so knowing, just as if she'd known me my whole life.
"Do you have planned anything for friday evening?" Argh, stupid blonde Haruka! How dare you ask a complete stranger for a date. A hetero stranger who knows you're a girl...
But once again, Elza contradicted my fears and smiled. "Not yet."
"If you'd like to, we could go out to a pub or something like that..." "You're gay, aren't ya?"
I could literally feel all my blood going to my head. Why had those western people have to be this honest?
I nodded shyly.
"Well, then we've got already one more thing than running in common!" I almost fainted. "...hhhhow did you know?"
"You're really blonde...You nearly carry a 'I'm a lesbian'-label with your outlooking and gestures." "Oh well, is it this bad?" "Not for me."
And so we went on, teasing each other for some minutes until I drove home with her phone number written on my hand.
When I look at this first meeting today, it really sounds like that was the beginning of a great love story. But it wasn't. Elza and me became good, but never close friends. We could talk about everthing and had a very similar view of the world. She was the first person that accepted the new Haruka my parents hated this much.
I still thought Elza was pretty sharp but didn't fall in love with her. We were much too similar for that. But she showed me that one doesn't have to lose all his trust in others because he had been disappointed once. Elza gave me back my trust in the world.
Sometimes she mentioned something about a girlfriend but I decided not to meddle in her business. All the time, Elza still stayed a hard opponent in running, but all in all, we didn't care about this that much. Sport was sport and friedship was friendship.
And this, my beloved Michiru, is everyting about Elza and me you didn't know yet." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- 2003-05-18, 22:03 by Yukio skygoddess@gmx.net
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon+Characters+ Toei Animation=mine Condition: "me"=Naoko Takeuchi, but me is "Yukio" !
Aww, I'm really sorry I needed this long to write the next chapter again...somehow I never find enough spare time to write down everything that's in my head!
This is another version of Haruka's past; did you ever notice no one grants her a peaceful childhood? Hence I thought Elza helping Haruka out of her misery would match the story...
This chapter is dedicated to all those people who review my stories and give me a lot of courage to write, to Oba-san who wanted a nice childhood for Ruka, to Holly to whom my *%#§ mailsystem doesn't want to send any emails -___- I'm really sorry but I'm working on it, dear...
Further thanks to da Brompton City Gang- Saki (Luv ya!),Misa (another silly and boring fanfic ^_-), Phil (for mental support and cooking when the former are too dumb), Hoshi (for lots of alcohol!) and Valli (for...oh well, just being there *knuddel*):"For years we keep doin´that, known for bein´not much more than just glad!"
CU in the next chapter!
**************************************************************** Part II/I - As Thick As Thieves
Haruka was woken up by some cheeky sunrays tickling in her nose. She turned around sleepily and looked directly into Michiru's smiling aqua blue eyes.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The blonde innocently kissed her lover's cheek.
"How long have you been awake already?" "Almost about an hour, I guess..." Haruka rubbed through her eyes, then raised an eyebrow. "You've got to much spare time, haven't you?"
Michiru stretched herself and smiled again. "I was watching you."
The racer shook her head. "Mad woman." "This is what you call artistic liberty,dear...",Michiru giggled.
Both looked at each other. Their eyes said 'I love you' as they moved closed to each other and kissed.
After breakfast, Haruka decided she wouldn't hold in her story anymore.
"Michi", she began. "Nani?" "There is something about Elza you don't know yet. About Elza and me..."
"Don't say you had a relationship with her, too."
Actually, Michiru wasn't in the mood to listen to another story after she had spend so much time telling hers. But now she definitely was becoming curious.
Haruka grinned. "That wouldn't have been bad... I'm sorry I have to disappoint you, we had a sort of relationship but not really the one you are thinking about, was always thinking about, wasn't you?"
Michiru blushed slightly. How naive she had been about this... "Then tell me what kind of relationship it was, Ruka-chan."
"... the real story also starts at ninth grade, but too make you understand the whole scene, I need to start from an earlier point of my life than you did... On my 15th birthday,I decided to finally tell my parents about the feelings I've had had for about three years now but wasn't able to stand behind until then.
I can clearly remember how strange I felt when I entered Junior High. Before this I had been a 'normal' girl- what you call normal for a child, I guess. But then everything changed. All the other girls started being mad about boys, to adore pop singers and worrying about such things as their clothing and make-up and other things I never thought about.
I was really confused when I realized I managed being friends with boys better than with girls. No, being friends is exaggerated. I just could understand them much better.
My friends until this point had always been girls, but suddenly we had so many different opinions it was hard to continue the friendships with them. Somehow I did, otherwise I'd been all alone.
But I was deeply confused- wondered if there was something wrong with me, and even thought I was retarded to my classmates. But all I really knew was that those girls' world wasn't made for me.
When I started dressing like a boy, my parents made some jokes but didn't worry about it. When I had my hair that was to down to my chest cut short, they thought it would be a pubescent phase.
Finally, I got to enthuse about other girls. At last I knew why I had felt this strange the last years.
My father had put me into the athletics club at primary school and had always managed my sports career, even when I had expressed the wish to start motor sport, he had paid for it. My mother's opinion was that every girl should know how to play at least one instrument so I've had piano lessons since my tenth birthday.
My father was a respected businessman but also a loving husband and father. I loved my parents- whatever I did, they supported me. They raised me with the advice to always go my own way.
Because of this I was confident that they would understand- or at least, tolerate- it that their only daughter had feelings for girls instead of boys.
But when I told this my mother on the afternoon of my fifteenth birthday, she reacted totally out of character. At first I thought she was going insane- my always calm and friendly mum looked at me with an almost disturbed expression in her eyes. Then she shed some tears and whispered something like she'd been too slackly with my upbringing.
She told me the birthday party I'd planned for the evening would be cancelled on account of a private talk with my parents that was- as she said- desperately needed. In my family, we'd always talked frankly about everything. I agreed, thinking that I could party the next evening as well.
In the evening my father didn't speak normally for the first time. He shouted and told me what a 'dirty bitch' I'd be, expressing my thanks for his love with being a 'damned lesbian'. In addition, he exclaimed that having a lesbian in his family would bring him a bad reputation. My mother sat there and didn't contradict him. When I asked her what she thought about the whole thing, she told me she had the same opinion as my father.
At the end, they let me the choice to stay at their house, becoming a 'normal girl' again or to move out and live on my own.
Deeply dissappointed, I withdrew my parents and decided to never trust in anyone except myself. Half a year later,I still couldn't believe my parents had simply let me down. No more loving words, no more support apart from the money they gave me to pay my apartment and living.
Completely in rage, I concentrated on sports as much as I could. Soon no one in my athletics team at school could keep up with me and I participated at countless competions in whole Tokyo. And I always won.
Running was like forgetting everything around me, leaving the fight with my parents and the pain to live all alone far behing me. It eased my wounds- at least for about 10 seconds.
I had really gotten used to win every competition when I had one against another school's athletics team. All the way, a red-haired girl was close behind me and although I finally was on the first place,I hated her for keeping up with me. She had disturbed me while I tried to vanish into my own world where I still lived with my trusting parents and where no one had ever hurt me.
After the competion, when I was almost ready to start my motorbike and drive home, a husky voice interrupted me with starting the machine.
"Tenou Haruka-san, that's your name, isn't it?" It was the girl that had been on the second place today. I lifted my helmet. I realized she was quite cute with her strange accent, her dark skin and clear blue eyes. More than cute.
"Yeah, sorry but I can't remember your name. It was something American though, wasn't it?" "Elza Gray. I'm here for exchange for this school year."
"You were pretty good today." What a lousy compliment! I hated myself for saying that. But Elza blushed. "Not good enough."
My hear skipped a beat when Elza looked in my eyes. She looked at me so knowing, just as if she'd known me my whole life.
"Do you have planned anything for friday evening?" Argh, stupid blonde Haruka! How dare you ask a complete stranger for a date. A hetero stranger who knows you're a girl...
But once again, Elza contradicted my fears and smiled. "Not yet."
"If you'd like to, we could go out to a pub or something like that..." "You're gay, aren't ya?"
I could literally feel all my blood going to my head. Why had those western people have to be this honest?
I nodded shyly.
"Well, then we've got already one more thing than running in common!" I almost fainted. "...hhhhow did you know?"
"You're really blonde...You nearly carry a 'I'm a lesbian'-label with your outlooking and gestures." "Oh well, is it this bad?" "Not for me."
And so we went on, teasing each other for some minutes until I drove home with her phone number written on my hand.
When I look at this first meeting today, it really sounds like that was the beginning of a great love story. But it wasn't. Elza and me became good, but never close friends. We could talk about everthing and had a very similar view of the world. She was the first person that accepted the new Haruka my parents hated this much.
I still thought Elza was pretty sharp but didn't fall in love with her. We were much too similar for that. But she showed me that one doesn't have to lose all his trust in others because he had been disappointed once. Elza gave me back my trust in the world.
Sometimes she mentioned something about a girlfriend but I decided not to meddle in her business. All the time, Elza still stayed a hard opponent in running, but all in all, we didn't care about this that much. Sport was sport and friedship was friendship.
And this, my beloved Michiru, is everyting about Elza and me you didn't know yet." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------- 2003-05-18, 22:03 by Yukio skygoddess@gmx.net