A/N - I have been reading over my previous few chapters and my first
chapters and I begin to realise the slowly yet steadily got less and less
descriptive!! So in the reviews this time round please don't just tell me
how much you like my story (although that bit IS really good) I would like
some constructive criticism to go with it if you don't mind so I can
improve my stories to be even better! Thanks heaps!!! ~*~kaz~*~
~ Chapter Eight ~ The Duel
Alanna looked at Jonathan with a glint in her eyes. She wondered if she could really beat a knight of Jonathan's training - she had seen him practising, and he was a good fencer! Well, she thought grimly, there's only one way to find out.
Jonathan stared into Alanna's stubborn purple eyes. Poor Alanna! He thought pitifully, she didn't know what she was up against!
I can do this! - Alanna.
I'll beat her. - Jon.
"En guard!"
Their swords clashed, and Alanna gritted her teeth. This was it. her chance to prove herself.
Again and again Jon struck, forcing her to block. Alanna tried to dodge rather than block. She looked everywhere for an opening, but couldn't find one. She kept dodging Jonathan's attacks, her self-esteem plummeting with every attack she couldn't retaliate to. There! Alanna darted forward; her sword snaking around Jonathan's to slash at him.
Jon's sapphire eyes opened wide - he didn't expect her to have been able to get past his attacks. He looked into her eyes again. All he saw was sheer determination. Crash! Clash! Clang!
Suddenly Jon came onto Alanna, who instantly put her sword up in defence. Body to body, this was called. For someone as tiny as Alanna, it was trouble. The noise of metal against metal filled the area. Alanna grimaced. It sounded as though one of their swords was going to.
Shwang! (A/N - yes, I made that up) Jon's sword sliced in two. The blade was sliced midway, now useless.
Alanna and Jon stared at the broken blade.
"H. how." Jon gaped.
"I. I don't. know," Alanna replied meekly.
Jon looked at Alanna. Alanna looked at Jon. "Get another blade," Alanna told him. "What!?" Jon cried.
"I said, get another blade," Alanna repeated, impatient.
"I heard what you said!" he snapped. "I just expected you to apologise!"
"For your blade?" Alanna asked.
"No, for the fight!" Jon cried, exasperated.
"As if!" Alanna exclaimed.
"As if?" Jon repeated. "Oh, and I suppose you expected me to apologise?"
"Well, yeah," Alanna admitted.
"Oh, come one," he said.
"Fine," she snapped. "Get another blade, and let's continue."
'Fine!"
"Fine!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Alanna stared and Jon and his new blade. He had taken away his previous, now useless slashed sword and now his hand glinted with a new, shiny sword with a weird design in the hilt.
The hilt of the blade was slightly longer than her sword's, with many different occult symbols on the hilt. Sapphires and diamonds studded the pommel decoratively. It glinted in the light and made Alanna look away.
She cleared her mind of the mysterious sword. She must concentrate on now winning this duel!
Jon slashed at her, forcing her to block. Alanna frowned. Was that humming she'd heard? She shook her head. Impossible!
Alanna struck back, making Jon block. Back and forth, back and forth, it was completely even! Alanna was furious. This couldn't go on! No one would win!
Each time she blocked one of the eerie sword's slashes, she felt completely sick, as though she'd just been in a battlefield scattered with men caked in dry, old blood. (A/N - sorry if that made YOU feel sick!)
Alanna finally got a hold of herself. If you ever want to prove yourself, she thought furiously, if you ever want to wipe that masculine smile of Jon's face, you MUST - WIN - THIS - DUEL!
The fiery red head start to attack. She dodged and feinted, and slashed and swiped, she used every bit of knowledge she had learnt. Jon obviously saw that there was something new burning inside Alanna.
Again and again Alanna attacked, and a wide-eyed Jon blocked and dodged. Alanna feinted to the left of Jon and Jon, thinking she'd finally made a mistake, went to swipe at her. Alanna blocked him just in time and twirled. He'd caught her off guard!
Jon's sword snaked in and flicked her sword up, out of her hand and into the air. Jon lowered his sword, his expression full of manly satisfaction, and he grinned at Alanna. He knew no one - especially not a woman could beat him!
Alanna looked up at her sword, still in the air. It came down, and Alanna caught it perfectly. She pointed it at Jon's throat.
"Yield," she said icily.
Jon gawked at her in amazement. His blue eyes glinted with - was that admiration? Alanna thought wonderingly, and his coal black hair was messed to the side.
He knelt, with a pained look on his face. "I - I -"
Alanna smiled. "Yes?" she asked.
He sighed, shaking his head. "I yield."
A huge smile swept Alanna face. "Yes!" she cried. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
Jon continued to shake his head. "No. No, no, no, no."
Alanna started to dance around. "Huh!" she cried, jumping in front of Jon. "Take that, Mr I'm-so-perfectly-fantastic-no-one-can-beat-me!"
Jon got up off his knees. "Well little missy," he said, tweaking her nose. "I - I have to hand it to you."
It meant so much, coming from Jon - the most proud person Alanna had ever known - except perhaps Thom - so much, that she hugged him tight.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Sorry for our fight?" he asked, hopefully.
She drew away and looked at him, an odd look on her face. "No, for breaking your sword."
Jon laughed, and began to kiss Alanna. Their swords lay next to each other on the ground beside them, forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Phew! A Short but tiring chapter. I was on a major writer's block because I didn't know who should have won, but Angel-Goddess (I actually wrote angel- goodness and it took me ten minutes to realise) helped me out! Thankyou!! In this lot of reviews please include:
You comments/ideas/suggestions, Your thoughts on ways I could improve (aka constructive criticism), Umm. And whatever else you want to put!!
Shut up, I'm tired!!
~*~kaz~*~
(And don't forget if you're not on the mailing list already you can still join!)
~ Chapter Eight ~ The Duel
Alanna looked at Jonathan with a glint in her eyes. She wondered if she could really beat a knight of Jonathan's training - she had seen him practising, and he was a good fencer! Well, she thought grimly, there's only one way to find out.
Jonathan stared into Alanna's stubborn purple eyes. Poor Alanna! He thought pitifully, she didn't know what she was up against!
I can do this! - Alanna.
I'll beat her. - Jon.
"En guard!"
Their swords clashed, and Alanna gritted her teeth. This was it. her chance to prove herself.
Again and again Jon struck, forcing her to block. Alanna tried to dodge rather than block. She looked everywhere for an opening, but couldn't find one. She kept dodging Jonathan's attacks, her self-esteem plummeting with every attack she couldn't retaliate to. There! Alanna darted forward; her sword snaking around Jonathan's to slash at him.
Jon's sapphire eyes opened wide - he didn't expect her to have been able to get past his attacks. He looked into her eyes again. All he saw was sheer determination. Crash! Clash! Clang!
Suddenly Jon came onto Alanna, who instantly put her sword up in defence. Body to body, this was called. For someone as tiny as Alanna, it was trouble. The noise of metal against metal filled the area. Alanna grimaced. It sounded as though one of their swords was going to.
Shwang! (A/N - yes, I made that up) Jon's sword sliced in two. The blade was sliced midway, now useless.
Alanna and Jon stared at the broken blade.
"H. how." Jon gaped.
"I. I don't. know," Alanna replied meekly.
Jon looked at Alanna. Alanna looked at Jon. "Get another blade," Alanna told him. "What!?" Jon cried.
"I said, get another blade," Alanna repeated, impatient.
"I heard what you said!" he snapped. "I just expected you to apologise!"
"For your blade?" Alanna asked.
"No, for the fight!" Jon cried, exasperated.
"As if!" Alanna exclaimed.
"As if?" Jon repeated. "Oh, and I suppose you expected me to apologise?"
"Well, yeah," Alanna admitted.
"Oh, come one," he said.
"Fine," she snapped. "Get another blade, and let's continue."
'Fine!"
"Fine!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Alanna stared and Jon and his new blade. He had taken away his previous, now useless slashed sword and now his hand glinted with a new, shiny sword with a weird design in the hilt.
The hilt of the blade was slightly longer than her sword's, with many different occult symbols on the hilt. Sapphires and diamonds studded the pommel decoratively. It glinted in the light and made Alanna look away.
She cleared her mind of the mysterious sword. She must concentrate on now winning this duel!
Jon slashed at her, forcing her to block. Alanna frowned. Was that humming she'd heard? She shook her head. Impossible!
Alanna struck back, making Jon block. Back and forth, back and forth, it was completely even! Alanna was furious. This couldn't go on! No one would win!
Each time she blocked one of the eerie sword's slashes, she felt completely sick, as though she'd just been in a battlefield scattered with men caked in dry, old blood. (A/N - sorry if that made YOU feel sick!)
Alanna finally got a hold of herself. If you ever want to prove yourself, she thought furiously, if you ever want to wipe that masculine smile of Jon's face, you MUST - WIN - THIS - DUEL!
The fiery red head start to attack. She dodged and feinted, and slashed and swiped, she used every bit of knowledge she had learnt. Jon obviously saw that there was something new burning inside Alanna.
Again and again Alanna attacked, and a wide-eyed Jon blocked and dodged. Alanna feinted to the left of Jon and Jon, thinking she'd finally made a mistake, went to swipe at her. Alanna blocked him just in time and twirled. He'd caught her off guard!
Jon's sword snaked in and flicked her sword up, out of her hand and into the air. Jon lowered his sword, his expression full of manly satisfaction, and he grinned at Alanna. He knew no one - especially not a woman could beat him!
Alanna looked up at her sword, still in the air. It came down, and Alanna caught it perfectly. She pointed it at Jon's throat.
"Yield," she said icily.
Jon gawked at her in amazement. His blue eyes glinted with - was that admiration? Alanna thought wonderingly, and his coal black hair was messed to the side.
He knelt, with a pained look on his face. "I - I -"
Alanna smiled. "Yes?" she asked.
He sighed, shaking his head. "I yield."
A huge smile swept Alanna face. "Yes!" she cried. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
Jon continued to shake his head. "No. No, no, no, no."
Alanna started to dance around. "Huh!" she cried, jumping in front of Jon. "Take that, Mr I'm-so-perfectly-fantastic-no-one-can-beat-me!"
Jon got up off his knees. "Well little missy," he said, tweaking her nose. "I - I have to hand it to you."
It meant so much, coming from Jon - the most proud person Alanna had ever known - except perhaps Thom - so much, that she hugged him tight.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Sorry for our fight?" he asked, hopefully.
She drew away and looked at him, an odd look on her face. "No, for breaking your sword."
Jon laughed, and began to kiss Alanna. Their swords lay next to each other on the ground beside them, forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Phew! A Short but tiring chapter. I was on a major writer's block because I didn't know who should have won, but Angel-Goddess (I actually wrote angel- goodness and it took me ten minutes to realise) helped me out! Thankyou!! In this lot of reviews please include:
You comments/ideas/suggestions, Your thoughts on ways I could improve (aka constructive criticism), Umm. And whatever else you want to put!!
Shut up, I'm tired!!
~*~kaz~*~
(And don't forget if you're not on the mailing list already you can still join!)