Here is Chapter 3 - Thanks for the reviews! Like some of you, I feel like
any kind of sexual relationship between Xander and Dawn should be handled
carefully. If I thought that it would be in-character at this point for
Xander to move things too quickly or without thought as to the consequences
then I wouldn't like him half as much. Hopefully, I can strike a realistic
balance!
He kisses her softly. Her lips are like velvet. The sheer beauty of the moment draws him back to reality. She is too precious; too young not to be treated with the care and respect that she so deserves. God, how many times has she been left to doubt herself? Her own worth? He draws back slowly. She looks at him expectantly like she expects the world from him. He knows that what she thinks she wants right now and what she truly deserves are two very different things.
He thanks the powers that be that he is not a seventeen year old boy. Although that might solve one problem, it would create more. He is far from the boy he was at seventeen. If he were that boy, he wouldn't know that first thing about - well - anything. In his opinion, Dawn is way too precious for any sort of precarious grope in the backseat of some car. He is going to make damned sure that she is going to have the benefit of his experience, his maturity, and his love.
As he kisses her again, he tries to sort out how to let her down gently. She seems so earnest in her desire. He bids his time, as she seems content to lie in his arms trading gentle kisses. Xander realizes his time is at an end when her tongue shyly trances his bottom lip. It takes a significant amount of effort to pull back.
Her face takes his breath away. Her eyes wide, her cheeks gently flushed. For the first time in a long while he is not thinking of things he can't control or of when he might die. He is thinking of his future. Here is his future. In this moment, he realizes that she has saved him.
"You've saved me' he whispers.
Her face assumes that familiar, incredulous look that she does so well. She smiles, "That medicine has done a number on you."
"No, I mean, honestly, this whole year things have been so crazy. And there you are trying so hard to keep going even when everything around you is falling apart. Look at those girls downstairs, they're your age. They are scared to death and they are potential slayers. Most girls - most people.Dawn, they couldn't hold up half as well as you have. Seeing you, it's helped me."
This talk with him, it's so like the others they have shared but it's not. They are in her bed wrapped in her sheets lying inches from each other. He has kissed her! She is having trouble assimilating it all.
Her hair has fallen in her face and he moves to push it back behind her ear. The eye thing has affected his distance perception and he manages to poke her in the eye instead.
"Ow!"
"Oh God, Dawn! I'm sorry"
Both realize the irony of the situation and begin to laugh and laugh some more. Xander pulls the covers over their heads in a feeble attempt to muffle their laughter. It strikes him that they are like two children taking shelter and comfort from each other in the midst of a storm. He hasn't felt this safe or this happy in a long time - maybe ever.
Finally, their laughter calms and leaves them staring at one another. It seems they are poised on the edge of a new place. He should be afraid but he's not and in the end, he doesn't have any trouble finding the words, they've been there all along.
He pulls the covers down and reaches for her again. "Dawn, I love you."
If possible, her eyes grow even wider. It is one of the few times he has seen her speechless. Believe it or not, he has words, more of them to fill the space.
"Dawn, I mean it, I love you. Maybe, I haven't loved anybody before. Before, I was so worried. Worried that I wasn't good enough or that we were just play-acting or I don't know. It was always like I was treading water and if I let up for one minute, I'd drown or someone would realize that I was a fake or something. But with you, here, even though I am less of a man than I ever have been before, I feel, I feel like I'm floating.like loving you is like breathing. I don't have to think, I can just feel. Dawn, it's going to be OK. All of it."
She has heard everything he has said. She has felt everything he has said. She plays it over and over again in her head. Just when her solemn expression begins to worry him, she smiles the brightest smile and launches herself at him once again. She has the exuberance of a puppy.
He holds her and rocks her until he feels tears wetting his shoulder. Pulling her face back from his shoulder, he asks, "What's this."
"It's just.oh Xander, it's just.I love you so much. I was so scared when you were hurt and then when you came home.I just was so worried, I felt like I would have traded places with you if I could have. But, here we are, I can't believe it. It's just too much". With that declaration, she falls back into his shoulder. It seems its now his turn to cry too.
And so the night wears on at the Summer's house until Dawn and Xander fall asleep tired from their worries, their admissions and their tears.
It's 9:30 and Xander has yet to come downstairs. Even on his first day back, he'd been up and about early. Buffy hoped that this meant that he had actually taken his pain medication for once. Still, it worrys her so she climbs over three potentials lying on the floor watching the Today show, two more braiding hair on the steps and finally one coming out of the bathroom before reaching Dawn's - now Xander's - room.
She turns to knob as quietly as possible before easing the door open. It takes her a moment to sort out the sight in front of her. Xander is lying on his back, one wrapped around a body lying half over him. The body in question is wearing her Yummy Sushi pajamas - Dawn! Both are sound asleep.
Buffy smiles, Xander looks more at peace than he has since he came home from the hospital - God, knows he needs to rest. And Dawn, well, poor Dawn. It is good to see that she is somewhat safe for the moment. Seeing the two together, she realizes that she can count on Xander to take care of Dawn, to see that she's OK once this mess is over. She wonders if there is some sort of legal thingie that she needs to fill out giving Xander custody of Dawn? She stops in her steps as she realizes that what she is thinking about is a will. She shakes her head as if to clear it and goes back down the steps to look for Spike and Faith; it's time to regroup.
Xander comes awake slowly. There is that moment every morning when he realizes what has happened, what he's lost and then it takes a monumental effort to even move. Today is different, he is thinking of what he's gained.
Holding her sleeping form in his arms, his practical side wins out. When he looks at the clock and realizes that it's almost noon, he knows that he is going to have to come up with a good cover for both of them. There will be no waltzing down the steps together, announcing the revelations of the night before to the masses. He can imagine the reactions - God, he won't even go there.
He shakes he gently, "Dawn? Dawn, honey, wake up. We need to talk."
She raises her head sleepily but quickly, making he wonder if she has been awake for awhile.
"Umm?"
"Dawn, honey, it's almost lunch, we need to figure out a way to explain what we have been doing sleeping together." Oh no, just the sound of it out of his mouth "sleeping together" in the same sentence as her name, Man, welcome to serious dirty-old-man status.
"You know they all probably know by now. I'm surprised Buffy or Willow hasn't poured a gallon of water over both of us. I guess being the resident invalid does have its perks."
Dawn is quickly coming fully awake. She is delighted by her circumstances. She is still a young girl in many respects and part of her wishes to share her news with everyone she sees. However, as a resident of the loony- house, she understands why this is not the time nor the place.
Seeing Xander's worry, she recovers quickly, "It's OK, I've already thought about it. If anyone asks, I had a nightmare and you were comforting me. End of story." Looking a bit more confident, she adds "For now" with a laugh and jumps out of bed, in a run for the bathroom.
TBC? Feedback please. For some reason this is a difficult relationship to write.
He kisses her softly. Her lips are like velvet. The sheer beauty of the moment draws him back to reality. She is too precious; too young not to be treated with the care and respect that she so deserves. God, how many times has she been left to doubt herself? Her own worth? He draws back slowly. She looks at him expectantly like she expects the world from him. He knows that what she thinks she wants right now and what she truly deserves are two very different things.
He thanks the powers that be that he is not a seventeen year old boy. Although that might solve one problem, it would create more. He is far from the boy he was at seventeen. If he were that boy, he wouldn't know that first thing about - well - anything. In his opinion, Dawn is way too precious for any sort of precarious grope in the backseat of some car. He is going to make damned sure that she is going to have the benefit of his experience, his maturity, and his love.
As he kisses her again, he tries to sort out how to let her down gently. She seems so earnest in her desire. He bids his time, as she seems content to lie in his arms trading gentle kisses. Xander realizes his time is at an end when her tongue shyly trances his bottom lip. It takes a significant amount of effort to pull back.
Her face takes his breath away. Her eyes wide, her cheeks gently flushed. For the first time in a long while he is not thinking of things he can't control or of when he might die. He is thinking of his future. Here is his future. In this moment, he realizes that she has saved him.
"You've saved me' he whispers.
Her face assumes that familiar, incredulous look that she does so well. She smiles, "That medicine has done a number on you."
"No, I mean, honestly, this whole year things have been so crazy. And there you are trying so hard to keep going even when everything around you is falling apart. Look at those girls downstairs, they're your age. They are scared to death and they are potential slayers. Most girls - most people.Dawn, they couldn't hold up half as well as you have. Seeing you, it's helped me."
This talk with him, it's so like the others they have shared but it's not. They are in her bed wrapped in her sheets lying inches from each other. He has kissed her! She is having trouble assimilating it all.
Her hair has fallen in her face and he moves to push it back behind her ear. The eye thing has affected his distance perception and he manages to poke her in the eye instead.
"Ow!"
"Oh God, Dawn! I'm sorry"
Both realize the irony of the situation and begin to laugh and laugh some more. Xander pulls the covers over their heads in a feeble attempt to muffle their laughter. It strikes him that they are like two children taking shelter and comfort from each other in the midst of a storm. He hasn't felt this safe or this happy in a long time - maybe ever.
Finally, their laughter calms and leaves them staring at one another. It seems they are poised on the edge of a new place. He should be afraid but he's not and in the end, he doesn't have any trouble finding the words, they've been there all along.
He pulls the covers down and reaches for her again. "Dawn, I love you."
If possible, her eyes grow even wider. It is one of the few times he has seen her speechless. Believe it or not, he has words, more of them to fill the space.
"Dawn, I mean it, I love you. Maybe, I haven't loved anybody before. Before, I was so worried. Worried that I wasn't good enough or that we were just play-acting or I don't know. It was always like I was treading water and if I let up for one minute, I'd drown or someone would realize that I was a fake or something. But with you, here, even though I am less of a man than I ever have been before, I feel, I feel like I'm floating.like loving you is like breathing. I don't have to think, I can just feel. Dawn, it's going to be OK. All of it."
She has heard everything he has said. She has felt everything he has said. She plays it over and over again in her head. Just when her solemn expression begins to worry him, she smiles the brightest smile and launches herself at him once again. She has the exuberance of a puppy.
He holds her and rocks her until he feels tears wetting his shoulder. Pulling her face back from his shoulder, he asks, "What's this."
"It's just.oh Xander, it's just.I love you so much. I was so scared when you were hurt and then when you came home.I just was so worried, I felt like I would have traded places with you if I could have. But, here we are, I can't believe it. It's just too much". With that declaration, she falls back into his shoulder. It seems its now his turn to cry too.
And so the night wears on at the Summer's house until Dawn and Xander fall asleep tired from their worries, their admissions and their tears.
It's 9:30 and Xander has yet to come downstairs. Even on his first day back, he'd been up and about early. Buffy hoped that this meant that he had actually taken his pain medication for once. Still, it worrys her so she climbs over three potentials lying on the floor watching the Today show, two more braiding hair on the steps and finally one coming out of the bathroom before reaching Dawn's - now Xander's - room.
She turns to knob as quietly as possible before easing the door open. It takes her a moment to sort out the sight in front of her. Xander is lying on his back, one wrapped around a body lying half over him. The body in question is wearing her Yummy Sushi pajamas - Dawn! Both are sound asleep.
Buffy smiles, Xander looks more at peace than he has since he came home from the hospital - God, knows he needs to rest. And Dawn, well, poor Dawn. It is good to see that she is somewhat safe for the moment. Seeing the two together, she realizes that she can count on Xander to take care of Dawn, to see that she's OK once this mess is over. She wonders if there is some sort of legal thingie that she needs to fill out giving Xander custody of Dawn? She stops in her steps as she realizes that what she is thinking about is a will. She shakes her head as if to clear it and goes back down the steps to look for Spike and Faith; it's time to regroup.
Xander comes awake slowly. There is that moment every morning when he realizes what has happened, what he's lost and then it takes a monumental effort to even move. Today is different, he is thinking of what he's gained.
Holding her sleeping form in his arms, his practical side wins out. When he looks at the clock and realizes that it's almost noon, he knows that he is going to have to come up with a good cover for both of them. There will be no waltzing down the steps together, announcing the revelations of the night before to the masses. He can imagine the reactions - God, he won't even go there.
He shakes he gently, "Dawn? Dawn, honey, wake up. We need to talk."
She raises her head sleepily but quickly, making he wonder if she has been awake for awhile.
"Umm?"
"Dawn, honey, it's almost lunch, we need to figure out a way to explain what we have been doing sleeping together." Oh no, just the sound of it out of his mouth "sleeping together" in the same sentence as her name, Man, welcome to serious dirty-old-man status.
"You know they all probably know by now. I'm surprised Buffy or Willow hasn't poured a gallon of water over both of us. I guess being the resident invalid does have its perks."
Dawn is quickly coming fully awake. She is delighted by her circumstances. She is still a young girl in many respects and part of her wishes to share her news with everyone she sees. However, as a resident of the loony- house, she understands why this is not the time nor the place.
Seeing Xander's worry, she recovers quickly, "It's OK, I've already thought about it. If anyone asks, I had a nightmare and you were comforting me. End of story." Looking a bit more confident, she adds "For now" with a laugh and jumps out of bed, in a run for the bathroom.
TBC? Feedback please. For some reason this is a difficult relationship to write.