Again thanks for the feedback and kind words. I have gotten another
chapter written in short order. This is going to be the last PG-13
chapter so I will be moving up to R for Chapter 8 so be warned. You
may want to check out my other "R" fic which is going to be featuring
Xander too. I guess, I have a soft spot for him. After the Spikes,
Rileys and Angels in my own life, I settled down with Xander too -
he is definitely the long-haul guy - insurance policies and all!
ENJOY.
Chapter 7
Xander takes a deep breath and moves around to open the car door for her. As she stands beside of him, he feels intensively aware of her. He is a bit in awe of her of her physical presence.
She is tall, taller than Buffy, taller than Willow, taller than Anya even. She comes right below his nose and he anticipates how she will feel pressed against him. Sometime recently, she has cut her long chestnut hair so that it skims her shoulders. Somehow, the length makes her wide, hazel eyes look even bigger. And her eyes - graced with long dark lashes and framed with arching brows that show surprise so easily. They are beautiful. His gaze travels down her straight nose to her generous mouth. He has never really taken the time to consider that mouth before but now that he has, he doesn't think he will ever stop.
"Xander, Xander, are you OK? You looked like you were somewhere else there for a second."
"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking.thinking about you actually." He smiles a fairly flirtatious, appraising smile at her. It's almost as if he is trying it out on her to see her reaction.
It delights her for him to regard her as such. She smiles back, tipping her face towards his. She feels up to his challenge. "Sometimes, I think about you too."
Looking into her eyes, looking at her mouth - he takes her hand and leads her to his apartment.
When they enter, he can tell that at some point, Anya has been there. She has cleaned up the place for him and for that, he is grateful. He's forgotten what a nice place it is. What he's been able to achieve. Standing here now, further removed from the traveling circus at Buffy's house, life seems almost normal, almost possible. Like the past couple weeks have just been a nightmare.
Dawn coughs behind him, getting his attention. Smiling broadly, she says "You're doing it again, you know. Spacing out on me."
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking. Standing here, away from everything, it seems pretty normal here. I was thinking that it feels good to be away for a little bit."
She nods, "It is nice, the quiet." She closes her eyes, "Just listen."
He suddenly realizes why they are here and the nerves are back. "Aaaa, Dawnie - do you want something to drink or something?"
She seems to be feeling the same way. She jumps a bit when he asks her if she wants a drink. She smiles nervously, "Sure, thanks."
While he gets the cokes, she perches on the couch. He comes in, puts the drinks on the coffee table and sits down beside her.
He clears his throat and looks at her, "Listen Dawnie, maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean, you're so young and things are so confusing right now. It's easy to confuse fear, or even pity" he says softly, "with something else. I just want so much for you."
She doesn't allow him to continue, before he can finish, she launches herself at him. The momentum of her body pushing him back. She litters his mouth with sharp inexperienced kisses as she speaks.
"Xander Harris" KISS " You listen to me" KISS "I am not confused!" KISS "I am in love with you!" KISS "And you love me!" KISS "So just get over it!" KISS
He manages to subdue her frantic movements. Holding her shoulders he moves her back from his face. He looks into her eyes, he knows she is right. He knows this is right. In this, he does not doubt himself, he realizes.
A smile blooms on his face as he looks at her. She secretly thinks he looks dashing with the patch over his eye, like a pirate in a romance novel but she knows that this is the last thing he needs to hear so she keeps her mouth shut. She decides that she is quickly moving out of her knowledge base and fears that he may misjudge any hesitation on her part as second thoughts.
"Xander, I want this, I want you. I don't want to have any regrets. All we have is right now. Anything else - we can't control. But we have this, we have each other. Please, Xander!" She pleads as she struggles to kiss him again.
He takes one hand from her arm and pushes her hair back from her face. The expression on his face eases her mind. He comes forward and presses a light, soft kiss on her mouth. He presses his forehead to hers and whispers, "Dawn, I want this to be special for you - for us. It's OK. It's OK to slow down. Just take a breath."
He feels her calm, her heart slow a bit. "There, now listen. We don't have to do anything, you shouldn't feel like you need to do this for me. I can just hold you. Just looking at you, seeing your smile is enough for me. Do you hear me?"
She nods, "I know, I know but this is what I need, I feel it. Don't you feel it?" She asks a little desperately.
She is right, he does feel it. Again, he reminds himself to trust himself, to trust her. He relaxes. Once the decision is made, another part of him rears up. A part of him that he is just getting to know. He feels like a conqueror. He feels in control, he feels her complete trust in him and this willing vulnerability empowers him as nothing else ever has.
With the door to doubt closed, he sets his sights on making this as perfect as he can for her. This should happen with him, with her in his hands. He is sure of that, of himself and of her.
Dawn can see the struggle that Xander has been going through clearly on his face. She can also see the second that his decision is made. She senses that she has won.
He pulls her to him for another soft kiss. She presses into him showing him her enthusiasm. "Easy baby, it's OK, this isn't a race. If we are going to do this, then we are going to do it right. Just relax, just feel, I don't expect anything from you except for you to let me know what you feel- what you like and what you don't. That's all."
He moves her back and stands up. For a minute, she feels rejected despite his words. Then she realizes that he is waiting for her. She stands and realizes that it is his intention to take her to his bed.
TBC
Chapter 7
Xander takes a deep breath and moves around to open the car door for her. As she stands beside of him, he feels intensively aware of her. He is a bit in awe of her of her physical presence.
She is tall, taller than Buffy, taller than Willow, taller than Anya even. She comes right below his nose and he anticipates how she will feel pressed against him. Sometime recently, she has cut her long chestnut hair so that it skims her shoulders. Somehow, the length makes her wide, hazel eyes look even bigger. And her eyes - graced with long dark lashes and framed with arching brows that show surprise so easily. They are beautiful. His gaze travels down her straight nose to her generous mouth. He has never really taken the time to consider that mouth before but now that he has, he doesn't think he will ever stop.
"Xander, Xander, are you OK? You looked like you were somewhere else there for a second."
"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking.thinking about you actually." He smiles a fairly flirtatious, appraising smile at her. It's almost as if he is trying it out on her to see her reaction.
It delights her for him to regard her as such. She smiles back, tipping her face towards his. She feels up to his challenge. "Sometimes, I think about you too."
Looking into her eyes, looking at her mouth - he takes her hand and leads her to his apartment.
When they enter, he can tell that at some point, Anya has been there. She has cleaned up the place for him and for that, he is grateful. He's forgotten what a nice place it is. What he's been able to achieve. Standing here now, further removed from the traveling circus at Buffy's house, life seems almost normal, almost possible. Like the past couple weeks have just been a nightmare.
Dawn coughs behind him, getting his attention. Smiling broadly, she says "You're doing it again, you know. Spacing out on me."
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking. Standing here, away from everything, it seems pretty normal here. I was thinking that it feels good to be away for a little bit."
She nods, "It is nice, the quiet." She closes her eyes, "Just listen."
He suddenly realizes why they are here and the nerves are back. "Aaaa, Dawnie - do you want something to drink or something?"
She seems to be feeling the same way. She jumps a bit when he asks her if she wants a drink. She smiles nervously, "Sure, thanks."
While he gets the cokes, she perches on the couch. He comes in, puts the drinks on the coffee table and sits down beside her.
He clears his throat and looks at her, "Listen Dawnie, maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean, you're so young and things are so confusing right now. It's easy to confuse fear, or even pity" he says softly, "with something else. I just want so much for you."
She doesn't allow him to continue, before he can finish, she launches herself at him. The momentum of her body pushing him back. She litters his mouth with sharp inexperienced kisses as she speaks.
"Xander Harris" KISS " You listen to me" KISS "I am not confused!" KISS "I am in love with you!" KISS "And you love me!" KISS "So just get over it!" KISS
He manages to subdue her frantic movements. Holding her shoulders he moves her back from his face. He looks into her eyes, he knows she is right. He knows this is right. In this, he does not doubt himself, he realizes.
A smile blooms on his face as he looks at her. She secretly thinks he looks dashing with the patch over his eye, like a pirate in a romance novel but she knows that this is the last thing he needs to hear so she keeps her mouth shut. She decides that she is quickly moving out of her knowledge base and fears that he may misjudge any hesitation on her part as second thoughts.
"Xander, I want this, I want you. I don't want to have any regrets. All we have is right now. Anything else - we can't control. But we have this, we have each other. Please, Xander!" She pleads as she struggles to kiss him again.
He takes one hand from her arm and pushes her hair back from her face. The expression on his face eases her mind. He comes forward and presses a light, soft kiss on her mouth. He presses his forehead to hers and whispers, "Dawn, I want this to be special for you - for us. It's OK. It's OK to slow down. Just take a breath."
He feels her calm, her heart slow a bit. "There, now listen. We don't have to do anything, you shouldn't feel like you need to do this for me. I can just hold you. Just looking at you, seeing your smile is enough for me. Do you hear me?"
She nods, "I know, I know but this is what I need, I feel it. Don't you feel it?" She asks a little desperately.
She is right, he does feel it. Again, he reminds himself to trust himself, to trust her. He relaxes. Once the decision is made, another part of him rears up. A part of him that he is just getting to know. He feels like a conqueror. He feels in control, he feels her complete trust in him and this willing vulnerability empowers him as nothing else ever has.
With the door to doubt closed, he sets his sights on making this as perfect as he can for her. This should happen with him, with her in his hands. He is sure of that, of himself and of her.
Dawn can see the struggle that Xander has been going through clearly on his face. She can also see the second that his decision is made. She senses that she has won.
He pulls her to him for another soft kiss. She presses into him showing him her enthusiasm. "Easy baby, it's OK, this isn't a race. If we are going to do this, then we are going to do it right. Just relax, just feel, I don't expect anything from you except for you to let me know what you feel- what you like and what you don't. That's all."
He moves her back and stands up. For a minute, she feels rejected despite his words. Then she realizes that he is waiting for her. She stands and realizes that it is his intention to take her to his bed.
TBC