Anime Survivor 5: Moon Kingdom Side Stories

by CHROMUS

The longest running anime survivor series continues with the longest running Side Stories. New author, new place, but same scenario! Read, write and enjoy!

4. Side Stories 4

Side Stories 4

Disclaimer: All the authors and readers that appear in this side story own themselves. Original characters that appear belong to their respective creators. Any nods and refs mentioned over the course of this document belong to their original sources.

This is the longest SS so far, and considering it's only 2 days, that's saying something.

Finally, Little Serenity and Freedom Fighter enter the scene! But aside from them, thank you JusSonic, Star Otaku, Arpulver, Descendant of the Dragon, Joe Mello, Persona, Digi-fan, Anime Master Zero,

DAY 19

* * * *

JusSonic was up early, roaming the lobby for any sign of the evil trio... or any other evil alternates from another dimension.

"Oh..." He spotted a candidate lying on the couch. He was dressed in his clothes and had a camcorder at his feet.

JusSonic nudged him until the suspect woke up and stood back, ready for anything.

"Damn, why do they always have to depart at 3:00 AM?" A. R. Pulver sighed.

"Who are you?!" JusSonic demanded.

Arp started to get his bearings back. He also recalled the events of the previous night. How he popped into the hotel. How it was so late that he was unable to secure a room. And how he settled for a couch in the lobby. He didn't know exactly where he was, but judging by the presence of anime characters and authors alike he could make a guess.

"A. R. Pulver, who's asking?"

JusSonic jumped back. "Ah hah! An evil A. R. Pulver from another dimension!!"

Arp sat up on the couch and picked up his camera. "Well duh, of course I'm from another dimension. How the hell do you think Ash could be at this hotel and racing in my series at the same time?"

"Oh..." JusSonic dropped his guard. He also made a mental note to tell that to Digi-Fan. "So you're not evil?"

Arp cracked a smile, "Depends on who you ask. Nah... I think my evil counterpart's still an Accounting major. So who are you?"

JusSonic relaxed an extended a hand. "JusSonic. Histeria author."

The blond author from another world received the handshake and smiled. It was the first sign of familiarity he had heard. "Ah, Histeria... cool show. I always liked Charity. During the sketches she's so depressed but during the songs they shoot her full of Prozac or something. Fun show."

The Histera! author smiled at the comment before getting down to business. "So what brings you here? Rejected by those AA idiots or something?"

"Nah. I left them awhile ago. Good thing too, I heard all hell broke loose last series they did. But I've been doing a series on my own. Amazing Race knockoff. At least I was. We had a shortage of camera guys so I stepped in. I was shooting Takato and Henry's race on Mars when they screwed up a Boson Jump and ended up here. They went back... I didn't."

"That's a problem."

"No kidding." They walked up to the reception desk and were greeted, as always, by Val.

"Well, I didn't expect you to drop by."

"I, uh... didn't expect to drop by either."

"I'm assuming you need a room?"

"Please. I don't know how long it'll be until I get in touch with Jerry."

"Jerry?" JusSonic asked.

"My director. You know all of these reality shows have directors that don't really get any on-screen time or attention. In fact, I think Jerry went to school with John Sumner."

"Who's John Sumner?"

"He's directs the AS projects," Val answered while processing Arp's hotel room, "We don't talk about him much. He's kind of an ass. He just does his thing and we do ours."

Val continued to type on the computer as Arp looked around. "So what is this? AS6?"

"Five," Val and JusSonic answered.

"On the Moon huh? Nice. Boy have I been gone a long time."

"Here you go Arp, room 724. Should I take your camera up there?" Val handed Arp a key.

"Thanks, but be careful," Arp said as he handed it over, "It's an expensive camera and if I break it, I bought it."

"Understood." The receptionist took the camera away as Arp pulled out his keychain.

He fiddled with the key as he spoke, "Yeah, this place seems to be in order. Looks pretty good. Are we past the merger yet?"

JusSonic didn't answer. He was busy staring at Arp's big Washu keychain as it danced before his eyes while its owner finally got the key on.

A. R. Pulver clearly noticed, "Oh, you like my keychain?" He held it towards the anti-Washu author. "Yeah, Washu's just awesome. Isn't she the greatest?"

"Boy, you have been gone a long time," JusSonic replied.

* * * *

A small spaceship pulled into the hotel's runway and came to a stop right in front of the entrance. As the ship's door slid open, three teenagers in spacesuits stepped out. The tallest of the three headed for the cargo hold to pull out their bags while the other two went inside and to the front desk.

Once they were safely inside, both of them took off their helmets to reveal their identities. They happened to be Freedom Fighter, the former Anime Survivor guest host, and Cassie Banks, one of his characters from his hit fanfic "The Adventures Series." Val, sitting behind the desk as she usually does, greeted them.

"Welcome to the Anime Survivor Hotel!" Val noticed the tallest and remarked. "Kinda late this year, aren't we?

The figure was shown to be the final 'legend' in the reality genre, the Roomies author, Freedom Fighter.

"Yeah... there was a scheduling snafu. My company had to construct a spaceship to get up here, and that took us a bit longer than usual. Fighter commented.

"I see." Val then took a good look at Cassie. "And who do we have here?"

Fighter smiled. "Val, this is Cassie. Cassie, Val."

Cassie reached out to shake Val's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Cassie here is staying in the hotel with us, along with her boyfriend." Freedom Fighter explained.

"Her boyfriend?"

As if on cue, the third member of the crew finally appeared in the hotel lobby, pulling a cart loaded with luggage bags.

Fighter explained again. "This is Arius McFly, Cassie's traveling partner and boyfriend."

The young man pulls off his helmet so that he's able to talk.

"Hi!" he said, quite happy obviously.

Cassie less so. "What took you so long?"

"These things are heavy! Especially yours!" the guy complained.

Obviously, he didn't realise the problems the guys and girls were having at the hotel. That was the LAST thing he should have said.

Cue the clenched fist pose.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

Arius gulped, and wisely stepped back before speaking. "Um... what I meant to say was that yours were the lightest! By far, they were!"

Fighter sighed. "Cute couple, huh? Anyway, do you have an extra room to spare for them?"

Val checked her records and nodded. "I believe there's one available on the seventh floor."

Val handed Fighter two sets of keys. One for the room Arius and Cassie were going to share, and one for the room that Fighter had reserved for himself on the tenth floor. After all, he was going to be a cameo this year.

"Thanks! And you don't need to worry... these two here are model citizens. They wouldn't dare cause any trouble." He made a small glare at them. "Right?"

Arius beamed. "You can count on us!"

Cassie also smiled. "We won't let you down, boss!"

"Good. Remember, this is a business trip! No goofing off, especially if you two want to keep your jobs!"

The trio then headed for the elevator, with Arius pulling their baggage cart all the way there.

* * * *

"Man, DotD's going to be shocked to see you here," JusSonic said as he and A. R. Pulver headed into the cafeteria for some breakfast.

"DotD?"

"Globie's new name."

Arp chuckled, "Oh. I see... because of that rivalry we're supposed to have. It's not as bad as you'd think. A few quotes taken out of context and a few things blown out of proportion and suddenly we're supposed to be bitter enemies."

"You're not?"

"No. I talked to him a couple weeks ago. He's doing pretty good. The whole thing between him and I is mostly overstated nonsense. Kinda like the supposed rivalry between Murasaki Shikibu and Sei Shonagon."

"What anime are they from?"

"They're not. They're Japanese writers from the Heian period. You know, not everything revolves around anime."

"Blasphemy!!" Anime Master ZERO shouted from the other end of the room.

Arp glanced awkwardly in that direction and returned his attention to JusSonic. "So what's been going on?"

"Well... a bunch of evil versions of authors are raising hell, the boys and girls all hate each other, and Persona's well... Persona."

"So basically it's pretty standard hotel fare," Arp was unimpressed. He had hoped something *unusual* was going on.

"Well, Tommy's been acting strangely... even by hotel standards."

To support JusSonic's judgment, Tommy stormed by, deliberately stomping his feet on the ground in some sort of pattern.

"Ai-yai-yai, I'm your little butterfly! Green, black and blue make the colors in the sky!!!" Tommy shouted as he "danced" by.

Arp grinned slightly as Tommy continued past them. "I don't see anything wrong with Tommy," said the author slash Dance Dance Revolution maniac.

* * * *

Rika and Jeri were up early and were returning from breakfast when they saw Takuya standing nearby. As they always did with the Frontier kids, they ignored him. The girls saw the boys, Takato and Henry, exit their room.

"Finally up?" Rika said as the four met in the hallway.

Henry rubbed his eyes. "I'm not a morning person."

"We already got breakfast. If you're going down now, how about we meet you down there in half an hour?" Jeri suggested.

"Good idea. Remind me to swing by and pick up my winnings from the booth." Rika said.

Henry smiled. "Finally joining the dark side?"

"I heard a hot tip about Miaka. Not that it matters, my Mom's loaded, remember?"

"Well, we'll see you down there!" Takato said. As they passed by, he turned to Henry, "You know if we had woken up two minutes later, they would have walked in on us changing."

"And I needed to know that... why?" Henry replied.

Rika put the key in the lock.

"You two still rooming with them?" Takuya got the girls' attention. They turned to him.

"What do you mean by that gogglehead?" Rika was sharp with the reply.

"Well... you heard what they did last night, didn't you?" Takuya was smug, as always, "I can't imagine any girl getting near them after they were caught peeking on Raye."

"Raye? You mean Raye Hino?" Jeri asked for clarification.

"No, Rei Ayanami." Takuya changed his position after the sarcastic quip, pushing himself against the wall. "Of course Raye Hino, and I saw the whole thing. Takato, Henry, and anonymous pervert number three snuck into her room last night. They were videotaping her in the shower. And get this- they got away with it! Well, except for the guy with the camera- he was pounded Keitaro-style."

Jeri shook her head. "I don't believe you."

"Who else saw this?" Rika was skeptical, but willing to ask for more details.

"Lots of people! Koji, me, that Akito Tenkawa kid. If you have any doubts, you can just ask Raye herself. I'm sure she's looking for a way to get at them."

"Indeed we will..." Rika grew sinister.

"Having second thoughts about rooming with them now?"

"Wait a minute." Jeri still refused to believe Takuya's sincerity. "How can you get on our case for rooming with Takato and Henry when Zoe's stuck with you and JP?"

"Yeah... you and Tons of Fun are hardly model gentlemen." Rika reiterated.

"Hey, at least Zoe's comfortable with us. I mean, it's not like we were caught peeking on..." Takuya stopped and thought for a moment, "Okay, that one time was an accident. She brought that on herself." Takuya almost got a nosebleed recalling the incident at the beachhouse.

"Whatever. Just go back to whatever hole you crawled out of. And if those two really did what you said they did... they'll pay." Rika and Jeri walked into their room and slammed the door.

After glancing at each other for a second, they ran down the hall and rapped on Akito Tenkawa's room.

"Yeah?" The cook/Aesti pilot answered.

"Were Takato and Henry snooping on Raye last night?" Rika asked.

"I guess so. It's a little weird. They ran out, and as they were running, they...

"Thanks." Rika stormed off angrily, not listening to the rest of Akito's story.

"So what do we do, Rika?" Jeri asked, a little scared of the consequences of living with two perverts.

Rika pounded her fist. "We destroy them."

* * * *

Later that morning, after having gotten over the motion sickness from traveling in a rocket for the first time ever, Freedom Fighter came out of his room to run right smack into Kelly, one of the co-hosts of AS5. And she didn't seem to be happy at all.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" Kelly complained

"Sorry... I usually do watch where I'm going." Fighter defended himself.

"Wait a minute..."

Kelly looked at Fighter's face and recognized him from a profile given to her earlier in the day.

"You don't happen to be Freedom Fighter by any chance, do you?"

Fighter nodded. "Yes, that's me. And who might you be, if you mind me asking?"

If that didn't piss her ego off, it certainly pissed her off.

"All you need to know is that your supposed to be heading down to the dome to cameo in today's reward challenge!"

Fighter was confused. 5 minutes here and already up for it? "I am?"

Kelly wasn't finished yet. "And to top that, I heard that you only got here today! You were supposed to report here eighteen days ago!"

Fighter sighed. "It would've helped if you could've provided transportation here!"

Kelly was quickly getting to her wit's end. "That's not our responsibility! The only ones we gave transport to were those that were at the spaceport the day we left Earth. You weren't there, so it was up to you get here!"

Fighter was normally calm, but she was starting to get a tad on his nerves. "I didn't even know there was going to be an Anime Survivor up here until Globie told me when he found out I wasn't here!"

Kelly resumed her normal look…confused. "Globie? You know the Descendant of Dragon, our boss?"

Now Fighter was confused. "Yes. I was a guest host for the past two seasons! How could you have not known about me?"

Kelly didn't care. "It doesn't matter! What does matter is that you're supposed to be heading off for the reward challenge! Figures... you men always keeping us waiting."

Now whilst Fighter didn't know about the problems about here, he was about to have a very Hibiki Amawan moment.

"Pardon me?"

Kelly didn't heed the change in tone. "Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you've got the right to get here whenever you please!"

Fighter's cool quickly snapped.

"When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I didn't have a say when I could get here?"

Fortunately, before one or the other did something they'd regret, a voice saved them.

"Kelly, is that the guy?

Fighter turns and sees Jayson, the other host of AS5, coming towards them.

"And who might you be?"

Jayson introduced himself. "I'm Jayson, one of the hosts this season. Kelly there behind you, she's the other."

"No offense to your boss... but what hole of abyss did he pick her out of?"

Before Jayson could readily agree, Kelly hit Fighter upside the head strongly, nearly knocking the author cameo to the ground.

"The boss is a fool to have an author like you cameo!" Kelly screamed.

Jayson sighed. "Kelly... you can't be insulting the cameos like this! You nearly killed Koji last time…"

"So?"

Fighter coughed before the argument changed into the usual affair. "As much as I'd like to stay here and get all friendly, don't I have a challenge to cameo?"

Jayson was glad to get out of that. "Oh, right. Follow me, Mr. Fighter."

Jayson and Fighter head off to the elevator, leaving the fuming Kelly behind.

Jayson decided to fill him in. "So... what do you know about playing hockey?"

Despite being an author, he had the ability to sweatdrop with the best of them. "Just hope that I don't trip over someone and injury them for life."

Jayson nearly sweatdropped himself. "That bad, huh?"

"Let's just say slick surfaces and I don't mix."

The elevator doors close behind them as they head down to the lobby.

* * * *

When Takato and Henry arrived downstairs, they had the strange feeling that they were in danger.

Naru stood up and pointed at them. "There they are!!"

Motoko stepped in front of her and sliced, "Zankuusen!"

Neither of the Tamers could blink before receiving a kendo strike head-on. They fell backwards, into the awaiting arms of virtually every female in the room.

The mauling continued for a straight five minutes until Raye herself stopped it.

"That's enough. Let them up."

The girls let up. Dorothy calmly walked by, slapping both in the face. They were already bruised and bleeding.

"Now... this should teach you to videotape me in the shower..." Raye delivered a mighty whollop to both Takato and Henry, sending them through the (closed) doorway and flying down the hall. They finally landed at the base of the betting booth.

D Marco threw a few dollars in Henry's direction. "You think you're so smooth just because you picked Miaka. Everybody picked Miaka!" He spat.

Henry could barely move, much less pick up the money. Fortunately, Nabiki was nearby, and handled that problem easily enough. She also added a kick to each of their groins for good measure.

"You know what Henry... suddenly I'm not in the mood for breakfast," Takato moaned.

* * * *

"BLARRRRGH!"

Persona was hanging over the toilet in the restroom of the newly repaired nightclub, in the throws of a massive hangover.

"Ohhhhh, my head. What the hell was I thinking?"

That was the state in which Vash, Meryl, and Milly found the author. Needless to say, they were not very impressed.

"So." A rather disgusted Meryl began. "Is this how Persona reacts when he has to take responsibility for his actions? Drink yourself into oblivion as a means of escape? You're pathetic."

Even Vash, Persona's right hand man, had lost respect for him. "I must say, I thought I knew you better than this. Is this the true Persona I'm seeing now?"

As the others continued to express their disappointment in him as a person, Persona tried to piece together the events of the last few days.

*FLASHBACK*

Persona balked at the piece of paper he currently held in his hand.

"What's this for?" He asked.

Chromus, looking rather cross, answered him flat out.

"That's what it's going to cost to repair all the damage you caused to the thirteenth floor. And YOU are going to pay it."

All color drained from Persona's face after hearing that. "Tell me you're joking."

"Sorry, but I'm dead serious." Chromus replied. "I just got word that, while we have Persona insurance up the wazoo, we're not covered for attacks by Egyptian Gods. Go figure."

As the seriousness of this situation began to dawn on the silver haired author, Chromus hit him with the clincher.

"By the way, the former Globie heard about the devastation to the thirteenth floor. He told me to tell you that if you don't clean up your mess, he's going to come back and personally break his foot off in your ass."

Persona gave a sarcastic half smile. "Well, I guess I'll have to pay it, seeing as how he asked so nicely."

After bidding farewell to Chromus, Persona began to wander around the hotel trying to think of how he was going to pay for this, when his walk was halted in the lobby.

"Man, it looks like your best friend just died."

Persona looked up to see Artful and Star Otaku, probably out for a stroll the author reasoned.

"Close." Persona replied. "I just got the repair bill for the club."

"Ouch, this situation seems rather familiar doesn't it?" Star asked.

Persona smiled and nodded. "I know. I'm having flashbacks to the second season as well. At least I don't have a certain someone smashing me in the face with her lunch bag this time around!" He said with a grin.

The three shared a good laugh, remembering the old days. "Hey, what say you get your mind off your problems for a while?"

Persona looked at Artful with a raised eyebrow after his remark. "Sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind?"

Artful, not saying a word, simply smiled and raised his left arm, which had a duel disk attached to it. Persona needed no further coaxing.

Grinning like a madman, Persona leaped into the air and executed a spinning back flip (catching the attention of all in the lobby), landing far enough away that there was now a decent size field between them to duel on. After landing, Persona struck a pose and pointed directly at his opponent. "I accept your challenge Artful! Prepare to duel!" He shouted in his most serious voice.

After receiving a few odd stares from Artful and Star (and just about anyone else watching), Persona relaxed and started acting normal again. "Sorry, but I always wanted to do that!" He said with a sheepish grin.

"Fair enough." Artful replied with a grin of his own. He than reached into his pocket and removed a coin. "Call it, heads or tails?"

"Tails."

Artful flipped the coin into the air and let it fall to the ground where all could see.

"Looks like it's heads." He stated. "Shall we begin then?"

Persona was about to say yes when a thought struck him. "Wait a moment, what say we make this duel a bit more interesting? How about a friendly wager?"

Artful raised an eyebrow, his interest awakened. "And just what did you have in mind?"

"Oh, say if I win, you pay that repair bill I just showed you?" Persona suggested, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

Everyone who had gathered around to watch the duel had thought the proposal a joke. That is until...

"And if I win, what say Star-chan and I get a free running tab at the club for the duration of our stay?" Artful replied, much to the shock of everyone around. Persona included.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Asked a concerned Star, worried about the outcome of the duel.

"No worries, I know what I'm doing." A confidant Artful said to reassure the nervous girl. "Do you agree Persona?"

"I do indeed." Persona replied, still not quite believing what just happened. "Well, now that that's out of the way...."

"IT'S TIME TO DUEL!" Both authors shouted at the same time after they finished drawing their respective hands.

*Life Point Total: Artful: 8000 Persona: 8000

"Kick his butt sempai!" An excited Star cheered. "No offence Persona!" She quickly added.

"None taken, perfectly understandable. Now, I believe first round honors are yours." Persona stated. "Feel free to lead us off."

Artful nodded as he drew his card for this turn. "Very well then, I'll lay one card face down and place a monster in defense mode to end my turn."

Persona drew his card and smiled. "I too will place a monster in defense mode, but you my friend are about to feel the burn! I play the magic cards Final Flame and Tremendous Fire! The first inflicts six hundred point of direct damage to your life points while the second does a thousand! I take five hundred point of damage from Tremendous Fire as well, but I think it's worth the trade off."

*Life Point Total: Artful: 6400 Persona: 7500

"Your move." Persona said as he ended his turn.

"Well played." Artful acknowledged. "But let's see how you handle this. I summon Gemini Elf in attack mode, and attack your face down card!"

*Gemini Elf 1900/900

As the attack was called, Persona's monster was reviled as the Princess of Tsurugi. "While you did destroy my monster, you also activated her special ability." Persona announced. "My princess inflicts five hundred points of damage to you for each magic or trap card you have on the field. Be thankful you only have one."

*Life Point Total: Artful: 5900 Persona: 7500

The duel continued on like this for some time. While Artful kept summoning monsters, Persona kept playing defense and using direct damage and effects to weaken his opponent without attacking. At this point Persona had played a Dark Hole magic card to clear the field of all monsters and placed a monster in defense mode.

*Life Point Total: Artful: 3350 Persona: 4100

Artful played his next card, wanting to get through Persona's defense. "I summon Mechanical Chaser, in attack mode!"

*Mechanical Chaser 1850/800

"Go Mechanical Chaser! Scrotum Sword Slash!"

Everyone turned and gave Artful an odd look. Even his own monster stopped in mid-attack and turned to look at it's master, the expression on it's face seeming to ask "The hell?"

Persona was joining everyone else with an odd look and a sweatdrop. "Scrotum sword slash.....?"

Artful didn't think his attack phrase was all that unexpected. "What? Just look at where it's sword is! It's not right I tell you!" Even the monster sweatdroped this time, but sure enough, it's blade WAS hanging from it's..... Lower extremities.

Artful sighed. "Just attack his down card."

Obeying, the attack reveled Persona's Giant Soldier of Stone.

*Giant Soldier of Stone 1300/2000

"D'oh!" Artful shouted as he received the difference in damage.

*Life Point Total: Artful: 3200 Persona: 4100

"I'll lay one more monster in defense mode and end my turn." Persona stated as his next barrier appeared on the field.

Artful drew his next card and immediately his face twisted into an evil grin. "It was a good duel Persona, but now it's about to end. I play the magic card Raigeki!"

Persona was horrified as he heard those words. Raigeki was a rare and mighty card that instantly destroyed all monsters on his side of the field. And as Persona's defensive wall was shattered, Artful continued his offensive.

"I summon Goblin Attack Force, in attack mode!"

*Goblin Attack Force 2300/0

"Now, both of my monsters will attack your life points directly, winning me this duel!"

It was true. The combined attack of both his monsters was fifty points greater than Persona's total life points. The duel was over.

"It was a good duel." Persona said, walking up to Artful to congratulate him. "And as they say, to the victor go the spoils." Persona was now in front of Artful and offered him his hand, which he accepted.

"As of this moment, or rather the moment it's back up and running again, the money of Star Otaku and Artful will no longer be accepted at my club for the duration of the competition." Persona announced to all around to make Artful's prize for winning the duel official. "Just don't the two of you put me out of business, okay?" He added with a playful smirk.

Artful and Star shared a bit of a laugh. "We'll try, but no promises though." Artful said with a smirk of his own.

"So, how long until you can find someone to repair the place?" Asked Star.

Now that Persona was relaxed, he remembered he had a secret weapon for just such emergencies. "Not that long at all I think. In fact, I could probably get a virtual army to repair the place in record time!"

"Really?" Asked a curious Artful. "Just who are these miracle workers?"

"Well, " Persona began. "after Dragonball Z ended, some of the cast members decided to change careers. Tenshinhan for example got into repair and restoration, and with that multiplication technique of his, he's his own work crew!"

Star and Artful glanced at each other abd back at Persona with looks of bewilderment on their faces. "Are you serious?" The female author asked.

"Very. In fact, he even gives me a special discount because he says I provide him with so much business. Though I have no idea what he could mean by that." Persona replied, actually keeping a straight face.

The couple sweatdroped, but smiled anyway. "Well, good luck to you Persona. Take care!" Star said, as she and Artful decided to continue on their way.

"You too, see you around." Persona said as he waived goodbye.

After they had left, Persona pulled out his phone, called up Tenshinhan (who for some reason was on the author's speed dial), and informed him of the situation. Even with the discount given to him, the cost of the repairs was still enough to return Persona to his previous state of depression.

"I just want to forget today ever happened." Persona said to himself while glancing at the club's bar, which had weathered most of the attack by Osiris.

*END FLASHBACK*

"Oh, right." Persona said as he picked himself off the floor. "That's what happened last week."

"Is that it?" Asked a still disgusted Meryl. "'That's what happened last week.' Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"No." Persona said, looking her in the eye. "I have two other things to say as well. First off, how I deal with situations is my concern and none of your business. Secondly, the events of last week have nothing to do with the state I'm in now."

"Oh really?" Milly asked, not really believing him. "Then what happened to leave you in such a state?"

Persona actually looked kind of embarrassed after he thought about it. "Well, you see....."

*FLASHBACK*

With the night club under repair for the next day or so, and with not too much happening with the competition yet, Persona decided to take one of the warp portals on the first floor back to Earth for a little while to hang out with his friends, where a very different competition was in full swing.

"...and at the end of the third period, the Vancouver Canucks take the series in game seven with a score of four to one!"

There are two things in this world Persona never misses: a season of Anime Survivor, and the Canucks while on a roll. The author was currently at The Shark Club in Vancouver watching the game with his friends, and the party just kicked into high gear.

"Four to one! Talk about a great way to end the series!" Kenny yelled, trying to be heard over the noise in the sports bar.

"Forget the score, just winning was great!" Persona yelled. "This is the first time in about eight years Vancouver made it past the first round!"

"Next up is Minnesota, I still can't believe they defeated Colorado!" Yelled Wayne.

"Gentlemen!" Called Nick, who was carrying a rather large bottle of Vodka and four shot glasses. "It's time for a toast. In celebration of the Canuck's advancement! Here's to hoping we take the cup this year!"

That having been said, the four of them downed their shots and slammed the glasses back onto the table, where they were soon filled again.

"Now, let's celebrate each individual goal Vancouver scored during the course of the series!" Nick yelled.

The rest of the night seemed to blur from that point on.

*END FLASHBACK*

The trio all sweatdropped as Persona finished.

"Well, I'm going to head down to the restaurant. I could use some food and a large cup of coffee right about now." Persona said, making sure he could still walk straight. "Anyone else care to join me?" The author asked as he started on his way.

Vash turned to the girls and shrugged. "Well, that sounds more like the Persona I know."

Meryl sighed. "Come on Milly, we're being paid to follow him after all. Besides, lunch does sound good about now."

* * * *

Arius and Cassie are making their way towards the cafeteria to eat some lunch. But upon entering, they find themselves confronting two familiar 'friends.'

Cassie squealed. "That's gotta be them, Arius! Let's say hi to them!"

Arius shrugged. "Okay, but don't blame me if they yell at us."

The two wander over and say hello... to their fellow Pokémon trainers, Ash and Misty.

"Hello? Miss us?"

Misty and Ash however obviously recognised them, as the water girl spoke first. "Arius? Cassie?"

Ash didn't seem as happy. "What are you two doing here?"

Cassie put her hands in front to prove their intentions were not out of violence…or ill will….or putting Ash with the bill.

"Will you chill out? Remember, we've long left the Pokémon Trainers' Association. We're just two, normal Pokémon trainers just like you.

Arius became devil's advocate. "Or in the case of this hotel, two nobodies."

Cassie sweatdropped before Ash resumed conversation. Or resumed picking a fight, whichever you pick.

"How did you get here?"

"Ash! Don't be so mean!" Misty reprimanded.

Ash, stubborn as always, continued. "Why not? Don't you remember what they did?"

Cassie wasn't happy either. "That was in the context of our fic! How can you get so emotional over a character brought into the fold by our boss, just like us?"

Ash wasn't having any of that. "Having a hand in getting rid of someone like that is bad, even if the guy was just a regular actor!"

"Well, don't blame me! Blame the script!"

Arius decided that was enough. "I told you that talking to them was a waste of time, Cassie. Let's go."

Misty however, was the surprise calm within the storm. "Wait a minute! Don't go!"

Cassie turned around. "Why? You don't want us around?"

Misty resumed calm. "Yes we do! Well, I do anyway! Why can't we let bygones be bygones?" Then with a smirk at Ash, she continued. "Besides, we do want to remain in the good graces of their creator, don't we?"

Ash then caused the surprise by being slightly smart. "You're only saying that because you're the only one he likes."

Misty fumed. "No, I'm not!"

"Yes, she is. I should know... I'm his errand boy." Arius said.

Cassie sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "Sad, but true."

Misty had enough. "So what? I still say we should forget what happened in the past and be friends again."

Finally, some breakthrough.

"Sounds good to me!" (Cassie)

"I guess I could live with it." (Arius)

"I guess I could too." (Ash)

Cassie smiled. "Let's shake on it then!"

The foursome shakes hands with each other, though the boys are a bit reluctant at first.

Cassie now resumed a normal topic now. "So, now that we've forgiven each other... let's talk Anime Survivor!"

"Yeah, like who's in it for Pokémon and if he or she is still in." Arius added.

Misty smiled. "Do you want to tell them about Casey or should I?"

Ash sweatdropped. "Um... maybe you should."

Cassie however was confused. "Casey? Who's Casey?"

Misty sighed. "I guess I'm stuck telling you about our own Electabuzz fan."

"Trust me... no one talks more about baseball than she does. Just hope you don't meet her in person." Ash groaned.

Ash and Misty begin to tell Arius and Cassie about the good... and bad points of Casey, Pokémon's peppiest Anime Survivor representative.

* * * *

After an extensive round in the infirmary, Takato and Henry returned from their breakfast outing in the afternoon. Their arms were still in slings and it still hurt when they walked, but at least they were soon to be safe in their hotel room.

"Henry, I'm not waking up until the Final Four, okay?"

"Right, Takato."

They opened the door. Both Rika and Jeri were standing there with death on their faces.

"OF all the sick, low-life perverts in this hotel... to think that you'd have the nerve to..."

"Oh, no... not you too Jeri," Takato tried to look Jeri in the eyes, but couldn't.

"Unbelievable. Don't think for a minute that you're any safer with us. You're just lucky the other girls got to you before I did," Rika said, pounding her fists.

Takato and Henry gulped. As much pain as they were in, they knew she was right.

"Look, we really need to lie down for awhile and..."

"Go to hell Matsuki!!" Jeri's puppy puppet was right in Takato's face.

The door slammed shut. Both Takato and Henry sighed and walked away.

"So now what?" Henry asked.

"So now the perverts come crawling to me." The two looked at Koji, smugly smiling at them.

"What do you want?" Takato said.

"Look, I've seen my share of hentais like you, and the stunt you two pulled with Raye is beyond anything I've ever seen."

"We didn't do anything to Raye!" Henry replied.

"Don't deny it now. Takuya and I saw it with our own eyes. You two and someone else was videotaping her in the shower."

"We were not!" Takato yelled.

"But look, you guys have been bloodied up, beaten, and kicked out of your rooms. Therefore, I'm going to help you out... for a price."

"What kind of price?" Henry was suddenly interested.

"Look, Takuya and I were planning to make your life a living hell for the next couple days. He's only been at it a couple hours and he's already done so. So now I'm ready to do some double-crossing." Koji looked around. "Have you seen how Tommy's been acting lately?"

"Yeah..." Takato replied.

"Takuya, Zoe, and JP can't stand him anymore, so he shipped him off to my room. And frankly, it's driving me nuts. Every time he goes to bed he either thinks he's a different character on a side quest or he's babbling about how he's recovering all his health points. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since I was voted off! Now from what I hear, it was your pal Jeri that made him like this. So here's the deal- you help me cure Tommy, and I'll help get the heat off you."

Henry nodded, "Hey, sure, we're a little freaked by Tommy too. What's first on the agenda."

Koji smiled again, "We wait a night. Hopefully things will die down a little. You can crash in my room. You'll have to put up with Tommy, but hopefully with three of us, it won't be that bad."

"Great! Thanks a bunch Koji! Maybe we were wrong about you!" Takato smiled as the three headed back to Koji's room.

Koji couldn't help but look away, "Then again, maybe you weren't," he thought.

* * * *

(That night...)

Koji swung the door open. Takato and Henry entered it. Inside was Tommy, standing in place in the center of the room.

"Good... he's not doing anything. Quick, get in there." Koji shoved them both in.

And that's when Tommy started waving his arms around madly in some sort of choreographed pattern. And he sung... badly-

"Can't stop fallin' in love! Baby, you'll be king! Makin' love with you is all I wanna do! Wanna do!!"

Takato and Henry's mouths fell agape.

"Oh no..." Takato whispered... "Not Para Para Paradise!!"

Koji laughed as he shut the door. "Say you love me, baby. Say you will always be mine. You'll never break my heart..." Koji was jokingly singing along to Tommy's crooning as he went downstairs to crash with his fellow digi-destined for the night.

* * * *

Adam Pulver had landed on the Moon. Albeit, it was a very rough landing. Fortunately, Miss Val was accomodating enough to give him a room.

And said room was down a very dark hallway. Normally, Adam wasn't nervous being alone in a dark hallway. Even with the chaos abound, and even with him making a wrong first impression with the females, he wasn't worried about being made into another target. Or used for target practice.

Nope.

But it was this hallway that made him a little jumpy. Like some unsavoury element would just pop out from the shadows.

He shook his bright blonde head about, trying to get rid of the feeling.

But, he was so caught up in trying to get rid of the creepiness, he didn't hear the scraping of a ceiling grate being misplaced.

Not really paying mind to the sound, for he never did hear it, he slipped his key into the doorlock, waiting for that click of confirmation and access.

*click*

That wasn't the sound of the lock, because it came from near his temple.

Adam's eyes darted to the side to see that a revolver was pointed at his head, and said gun was in the hands of a girl hanging upside down an open grate. Pretty much in the same style of one Kirika Yamura, half of the deadly duo Noir.

"Well, now I know how those Soldats guys feel... Might as well get a look at the girl who's gonna kill me..."

He slowly turned around, still staring down the barrel. He looked past it and saw the girl smirk, then pull the weapon away.

With a flourish of a flip, she landed upright before him, that playful smirk still on her lips. Of course, she was in a schoolgirl fuku (a black skirt, yellow vest, white shirt, pink bow), and her hair was black and messy, but there was something familiar about her.

She gave her hair a haughty flip, and posed sullenly (rather more seductively) for him.

Adam squinted past the dark light, trying to make out her face. There was a sinister and dark complexion to her, but aside from that, she was recognizable.

"Star?"

There was a glint in her eyes and the grin on her face was more menacing than that of the gun...

He started to back away slowly, and she silently stalked after his every step.

"Hey, can't we stop and talk about this? Star? Star?"

The poor boy tried to reason with her, but he didn't have a chance as she glomped him mercilessly.

And no one was around to hear him scream.

* * * *

DAY 20

"So, you're finally here?" Val seemed a bit testy.

"I'm so sorry! My stepmom went crazy on me and locked me in my room! Do you know how uninteresting Moon history is?!"

"Okay okay, but just this once!" Val handed Serenity her key.

"Gah! I'm so behind! Phoenix's gonna kill me, Joe'll pulverize me, Zach, I'm sure will..." She opened her room. Zach and Phoenix were sleeping on her floor. "WHAT THE-?!" She opened the door fully, hitting Phoenix square in the center of his head.

"OW!!" He sat up and rubbed his head. "How many times do I have to tell you Roomservice people-"

"What, am I so late that the gave my room to you guys?"

A grin spread over Phoenix's face, "Zach. Bro, get up. Serenity's finally here!" Zach rolled over, hitting his head on the leg of Serenity's bed.

"Shaddap. Five more minutes..."

Serenity crossed her arms, "I presume that you have your own room, Kaiser. What are you doing in mine?" Zach's eyes flew open.

"Do you know how worried I was?!"

"For someone who wanted five more minutes, you sure got up quick."

"That's not the point! Where have you been?!"

"Chandra chained me to my desk. I could tell you the date of every single dark moon uprising, even if it ended in seven minutes."

"Ouch." Phoenix wrinkled his nose.

"I, eh heh, kinda skipped out on the test." Serenity laughed nervously. "I hoped that they wouldn't shut the hotel doors on me."

"The least you could have done was called or something." Zach was still a bit miffed.

"C'mon, cut me some slack."

"What if you'd been kidnapped again by Meilee or something?! Goddess' been worried too."

Serenity started to feel a bit upset. "Zach, I didn't know that this would mean so much to you. I'm really really sorry."

"aHEM." Phoenix cleared his throat, "I'll just... go downstairs and get us breakfast." Phoenix shut the door. Zach gave Serenity a kind of sad smile.

"So, why'd you skip out on the test?"

"Eh, no big deal really." Serenity turned and started putting her things away, hoping Zach wouldn't ask her more.

"It kinda seems like a big deal to you. Something wrong?"

"No." She managed a laugh, "Of course not."

"Are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine, okay!" She leaned on her dresser, "I just, don't like thinking about it."

"About what?" Zach picked up the only hanging bag Serenity had brought. "This your dress for the formal?"

"Yes, it is."

"Mind if I look at it?" Serenity shook her head and continued unpacking her things. Zach unzipped the bag. A black dress spilt onto the floor. It was strapless with a white sliver interrupting the continuous black. At the point of the sliver, silver rhinestones erupted in a star pattern. "Wow... you'd- I mean, this looks really pretty."

Serenity managed a hollow laugh, "Right. Like I'd ever fit into her shoes."

"What?"

"I mean, like I'd ever fit into that dress. It's way too small."

"Right." Zach wasn't stupid and he wasn't falling for her cover up. "Whose dress is this?"

"Mine."

"Before you." She fell silent.

"My- mother's..." She took the dress from him. "She gave it to me when I was really young, before she died. She looked so beautiful in it and... I can't image me in it. I mean, like Chandra said, I've got absolutely nothing going for me. I'm stupid, unreliable, and I'll never be as pretty as my mom."

Zach stared at her in disbelief, "What?!"

Damn, I wasn't supposed to say that. "Eh, just kidding! I wonder where Phoenix is." Serenity started towards the door.

"That's total crap." Serenity turned to look at Zach.

"You don't have to make me feel better Zach."

"You're smart, and I can always count on you, and..."

"And...?" Serenity stood on edge.

"I don't know what your mother looked like but," he licked his lips and thought for a split second, "You're beautiful to me."

* * * *

At least Koji was nice enough to return. He knocked on the door. "Guys? You okay?"

Two bloodshot eyes met him as Takato stared back. "Is that you Koji?"

"Yeah. Sorry about last night. I forgot I had to go do something with Takuya..." Koji lied, "Grab Tommy. I think I know a way we can fix him."

Takato swung the door open. "You better not be trying to get us into more trouble."

Koji forced back a laugh. "No! Of course not. I'm your pal here. Ready Henry?"

Henry was still dazed. "Oh baby, nori nori nori... singing for the glory... para para dancing Eurobeat..."

At least Tommy was awake. He walked up to Koji.

"Ready to go Tommy?"

"Ready Chief Advisor!" Tommy saluted.

Henry followed as the four walked out. He managed to get his bearings back and asked Koji, "So how do we fix this and why do you need our help?"

"Simple. Because we need to find that third pervert that had the videotape."

"For the last time Koji, we didn't spy on Raye!" Takato yelled.

If he wouldn't have yelled, he may have heard Tommy conjur up a potted plant next to them.

"Either way, that other guy that was was definitely an author. And where there are authors, there are author powers."

"Okay... what did he look like?" Henry asked as Tommy instantly changed the wallpaper.

"You should know." Koji shrugged and answered anyway, "Whatever. He had blond hair, glasses, and he had that video camera on him. It was a nice one too."

"Let's go talk to Val," suggested Takato.

"Good call. Hopefully we can dodge people on the way," Henry concurred.

Koji smiled again, "Don't worry. I planned for it. I just have to stop by Takuya's room. Be right back."

He ran off, leaving Takato and Henry with Tommy. Tommy was busy waving his hands around.

Henry looked down, "Hey... didn't this floor used to have blue carpeting?"

Both looked at Tommy, who just smiled back.

* * * *

"Okay guys, just act natural."

But it was awfully hard for them to follow Koji's advice when Takato and Henry were wearing bad wigs and jumpsuits.

They were on the ground floor when Mina Aino stopped them. "Hey? Who are you two?"

"Oh... they're..." Koji panicked for a second.

"Because we're still looking for those two perverts Takato and Henry. They only got one severe beating and I think they deserve even more."

"Nope. these two are from... Chuuka Ichiban."

"Chuuka Ichiban?" Mina went in for a closer inspection, "They don't look like anybody from Chuuka Ichiban."

Koji kept calm. "They're from the OAV. New characters and new character designs."

"Oh! Okay!" Mina skipped off, leaving the course clear for Koji, Takato, and Henry to reach Val while Tommy quietly changed the patterns on the floor.

"We need to speak to an author," Koji said, "He's blond, glasses, and he has a video camera."

"Oh, Arp? Hold on..." Val reached for the intercom, "Would Adam Pulver please report to the lobby? Adam Pulver please report to the lobby."

"I'm right here!" Adam was standing two feet away. "I've been here for an hour waiting for word on what you did with my camcorder!"

"Mr. Pulver? Koji Minamoto." Koji extended a hand.

"Yeah, I know who you are. I'm one of the few who actually watches the fourth season."

"What do you think of it?" Takato asked.

"Now I know why the fourth racer in a relay is called the anchor- you guys sunk like one."

Takato and Henry tried not to laugh. Koji tried not to punch the author in the face.

Finally, Takato recovered, "Hey, you were one of the perverts spying on Raye, right?"

Arp laughed, "Actually, what happened was that we were accidentally Boson..."

"Good, could you convince everybody that it wasn't really us?"

"No way Takato. I'm having enough trouble keeping myself out of traction. The girls here don't seem to want to listen to the truth, and until I get my video camera, I can't prove that it was an accident."

"Well, can you at least help Tommy?" Koji asked. The four turned towards Tommy. He had finished up with his business on the toilet, and summoned forth a sink to wash his hands with.

"Hmm... the DDR was fun, but this Sim thing may be trouble."

"Sim thing?" Koji asked.

"Yeah... can't you see it? He's playing a sim game." Arp stopped as Tommy summoned a huge golden fountain and stuck it in the middle of the lobby.

"I see!" Henry exclaimed, "It's like SimHotel or something! He's looking around for ways to make improvements to the hotel!"

"Cool!" The four jumped at Val, who shouted at Tommy, "Hey! Can you give the desk worker a 10 percent pay raise?!"

Suddenly Tommy turned towards Val. "Collective bargaining, huh? I suppose if you don't get your demands you'll go on strike."

"Uh... yeah! Desk Clerks 404 United is ready to play hardball!"

"How about a five percent pay raise?"

Val thought it over and smiled. "Sure!"

They shook hands. There was money in Val's hand when they released.

Arp turned to Koji, "Koji, why don't you start looking for my camera. Takato and Henry? I need to talk to you?"

Koji left as the three remaining stared at Tommy. Arp sighed, "This Tommy thing is getting serious."

"I know, these Sim powers are scary," Takato said.

"Well, at least it's a hotel sim and not a dating sim."

"Dating sim?" Henry asked.

"Yeah. Don't ask."

"Oh! You mean those games those losers play where you control the main character and have to score with as many women as possible?"

"I know those!" Takato shouted, "Kazu loves those games!"

"You're kidding me..." Henry was disgusted.

"No, I was over at his house once. He was on a roll the one time I saw him play. He scored with the childhood friend, the tomboy, the smart student, his teacher... and the catgirl!"

"How the heck did he get the catgirl!? I never get the cat..." Henry suddenly fell silent when Adam and Takato stared him down. "I mean... boy is Kazu a loser."

Adam changed the subject, "Anyway, we may need outside help. Fortunately, you guys are linked with other Chiaki Konaka shows, right?" As a personal worshipper of all things Konaka, he felt a certain bond with shows Chiaki penned such as Tamers.

"Um... if you mean Jeri's friendship with Dorothy, then yeah," Takato answered.

"It'll work now. I'll talk to Dorothy. I know just the person that could help us out. I'll get him on the first shuttle over here and he'll be here in a week.

"A week?"

"Look, everybody here seems to have an problem with Washu, so unless you want to bribe somebody into borrowing their giant robot to get him here, we'll have to wait."

"Whatever. Just go get a hold of him!" Henry yelled. Arp ran off.

Tommy joined them. He had apparently heard the conversation. "Chief Advisor, put money into researching and developing a teleporter machine to increase business."

* * * *

Everyone and their mother says that Mina Aino is the Senshi of Love.

That's what they think. They never met Amy. Sure, Sailor Mercury had some better characteristics, but when someone like Joe Mello was in pain, (thanks to a swift beating by Tea) a bit of Mercury TLC was just what the doctor ordered. (Especially since the aspiring doctor was one of the few people that Joe could still hug without serious repercussions.) As Joe wandered through the halls, wondering why he was having a Keitaro-like experience, he ran into a young redhead. Literally.

Unfortunately for both parties, neither expected to see the other ever again.

"YOU!!!"

"Aw, crap. Not another PMS case."

Rika became infuriated. "I'M NOT PMS-ING, YOU EVIL BASTARD!! YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST YEAR!!!"

At around this time, it was clear to Joe that discretion was the better part of valor, and so he ran like hell. Rika, naturally gave chase.

* * * * *

J.P. had finally learned his lesson, or so he thought. As he went back to his room to catch a few z's he noticed an author running straight towards him. J.P couldn't react fast enough, but Joe sure could as he jumped over the rotund Digiwarrior and quickly turned left down another hallway. Thankfully, someone else was running towards him, too; she could clear any confusion. "Hey, Rika! What's going on?"

Did I say "thankfully"?

A swift uppercut sent JP flying backwards. He hit the ground and skidded a few yards before he finally came to a stop. Right under a Guest Host.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PERVERT!!!!!" Although it was normally used on Brock, Misty showed no hesitation for summoning her trusty Letcher Hammer on a stranger. A quick slam downward followed a golf club-like swing sent the unfortunate boy blasting off again. Thankfully, he didn't get stuck in the wall he landed on, and someone else was on hand.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but could you help me up?"

Did I say "thankfully"? I believe I did, but I'll say it again anyways.

No one could possibly rationalise why Nuriko would take offence to J.P's appellation, but hey, who doesn't like gratuitous violence? J.P. cursed his luck as he was sent blasting off again via a swift Naru-esque (there it is again) roundhouse kick.

* * * * *

Joe stopped running to catch his breath. If Rika was anywhere, it wasn't near him. Therefore, he was in the clear. He resumed a normal walking pace. Damn 03 kids. I thought they weren't invited here, the author thought. Maybe it's just that witch 'cuz she narrates the 04 show. Joe continued his fuming about the Tamers as he reached his room.

Coincidentally, Little Serenity was next to his door. Since he and she were, like, you know, he decided to execute a sneak glomp attack. The good news was that Joe was successful in literally smothering the Authoress in love. The bad news was that he was then kicked by said Authoress into his room. Lucky for him, the door opened and he only ran into the back wall. Of course that was his luck. Otherwise he'd be back in with Amy and probably feeling better than he did.

* * * * *

Bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day...

Joe continued to recite Jackie Chan's catch phrase as he sat in the fetal position in a dark corner of his room. This was definitely a bad day. Between Botan telling him off, Tea killing him off, Rika ticking him off, and Serenity throwing him off, he had enough bad karma to satisfy Team Rocket through a standard-length OVA. However, before he was able to sink to a level of depression comparable to last year's cosplay (which we won't get into), there was a knock on the door.

Okay, so maybe it was so much a knock as a loud, pounding open. Joe jumped up from his corner and laid eyes on his self-invited guest, a rather sensually dressed Star Otaku cosplaying the infamous (at least to Joe and his friends) Ms. Deep (Read or Die).

Joe's hentai sense was tingling so he proceeded with caution. "Why little Imouto-chan, what a surprise to see you here," he said with a nervous tone and varied pitch. "I thought you weren't cosplaying again."

Star was surprisingly stumped by the comment. "Yeah . . . well . . . I changed my mind." She quickly changed her tone. "But enough about that," she said in a voice that was low and sultry and sounded like every pervert's dream was about to come true.

Joseph Mellon was in total panic. Joe's pet name, "Imouto" translates in English to "little sister." So, you could understand that, while Star was mentally undressing Joe, he did everything in his power to make sure she couldn't physically undress him. Unfortunately, as it normally happens in this type of situation, Joe's escape attempts failed and was eventually pinned to the back wall by a very hungry Star Otaku. So, as a last ditch effort he tried to talk things out.

"Come on, Star. You don't really want to do this, do you?"

Star, in heated breaths, simply responded.

"Oh yes. I do. I most truly do."

"But . . . but what about Artful? What would he say?!"

"Screw Artful. He's no fun." Joe cringed at the word choice as Star began a bit of, for lack of a cleaner term, foreplay.

"Hey now! Shouldn't I get a say in the matter?! I have an opinion about this, you know."

"Screw your opinions!"

"For Ryoko's sake, Star, quit saying 'screw'!"

"Fine. Don't want me to speak it? I'll do it."

Joe laughed miserably. There was nothing he could do now but pray to the powers that be that he would come out of this ordeal still being a virgin. (He is only 18, after all. And Christian.) Star Otaku moved in for the kill.

And, as anime luck would have it, Artful stumbled through the doorway. He was looking a bit dishevelled himself, possibly because he had his own little round of fun, but that's another story. Of course, upon looking on the scene, he mandatory bellowed out. "STAR OTAKU!!!"

Everyone stopped for an eternal moment. Then Joe broke the silence by praising the Lord. (Nicolas D. Wolfwood sneezed.) This was quickly followed by Star tossing him aside. Artful ran up to Star completely clueless of anything. "What the Hell happened?!"

Star broke down and bawled. "Oh, sempai, it was awful! He tried to . . . he tried to . . ."

Joe dusted himself off and scoffed. Yeah. Let her be the poor defenceless victim. My ass.

Artful tried to calm his girlfriend down. "There, there. It's okay." He became rather enraged. "You won't have to worry about Joe Mello anymore."

"Oh, come on, Art!" Joe Mello didn't have to much time to be beside himself. Anime rule #1: Don't touch the guy's girl. Thankfully, Joe's staff was easily accessible and a brief fight scene began. All the while, Star looked on with a silent evil glee. While Joe was constantly dodging, blocking and/or getting hit by Artful's attacks, he noticed the machinating look of his figurative little sister. She's got to be nuts. What she planning? After we both beat the crap out of each other, she kills us both and then gets all necrophilic on us? Bastard. I have to stop her, but how?

Artful drew his right fist back. "This is the end for you!!!" This was the chance.

Artful punched hard, but slow enough for Joe to dodge. He got into a good position, then retract his staff so it could fit in the palm of his right hand. He clenched his fist and tucked his arm in, loading a familiar attack. "Time for a new trick," he said before firing. "SHOUTGUN!!"

The copy of Yusuke Urameshi's attack could've easily taken out any normal person, but this was Artful. Of course, he Artfully dodged the multiple blue projectiles and they whizzed harmlessly past him.

Did I say "harmlessly"?

An explosion followed by a loud scream made Artful cringe. He turned around slowly hoping that what he thought he heard hadn't happened. Unfortunately, it did. Joe's Shotgun had delibrately missed Artful in order to get Star.

"No! Star-chan!" Indeed, the authoress layed slain on the floor, her skin burned and her (lack of) clothes seriously messed up. Artful was in even more rage. "YOU BASTARD!!! YOU KILLED HER!!"

Joe dusted himself off. "Do you know how many people I have killed, Artful? Hmm? Well?" He walked over to the closet and started to take off his battered white T-shirt and khakis, knowing that the answer to the question was 0.

"Star's not dead. Hell, she's not even Star."

"Not Star?! Are you blind, man?!"

Joe finished getting redressed. He was now in a fresh set of pants, and a black T-shirt, with an unbuttoned Sanosuke shirt covering it somewhat. "Trust me, Artful. Star Otaku's been on top of me before, and that's not Star Otaku."

Note to self: Shut up, Joe.

"Pervert!" A flying chair nearly hit Joe in the head.

Joe went over to the body. "Anyway, Star wouldn't come here under her own free will and try and make love to me against my will."

"You do have a point. Her crying fit did seem a little odd, but that still doesn't rule out that this body is hers. She could've been mind-controlled or something."

Joe turned his back to the body. "What am I supposed to tell you, huh?"

As he continued to defend his name, unbeknownst to both Joe and Artful, the so-called Star Otaku rose up in anger. She grabbed her lunch bag and raised it above Joe's head, ready to bring the hammer down.

"Why the..." Uh-oh. Hentai sense. Danger! Joe spun around to see an incoming lunch bag. In an incredible burst of God-like speed, he was able to catch the lunch bag with both hands, like some people catch swords. This caught the other two by surprise. With a swift kick to the midsection, Joe separated Star from her trusty lunch bag, sending her into a wall. The impact knocked her out, again. Joe tossed the lunch bag in the air a couple times causually. "So. Now do you believe?" Artful's mouth was agape at Joe's feat. Joe gently picked up Star Otaku's body and laid it on the bed. Then, he picked up the phone and dialed the front desk. He put it on Speaker Phone so Artful could hear.

"Hello? Front desk."

"Say, Miss Val, do you by any chance know if someone's been making that Midsummernight's Dream crap that makes people fall in love with you again?"

"Not to my knowledge, no. However, there is a report that some evil versions of Mr. Globie, Blackstar, and Ms. Otaku at large and wreaking havoc in the hotel."

Joe knew he won. "Is that so?" he asked in that ironic fashion. "Well, thank you for the information. Good-bye." He looked with an air of triumph at Artful. "I hate to say 'I told you so.'"

"Yeah, whatever. At least it was a Star Otaku."

"Yeah, but not yours." He picked up Evil Star's body. "Come on. We'd better her lock her away before we get attacked by Tribbles or something."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

* * * * *

"I've got to admit, this place makes the best seafood pasta I've ever had!"

Persona, Vash, Meryl, and Milly were in the hotel restaurant enjoying lunch. Persona was having the above mentioned dish while Vash was happily devouring a large plate of donuts. Where as the two ladies preferred something on the sweeter side, Meryl was looking over some paperwork as she had her banana sunday while Milly was completely immersed (in mind you sickos!) in her large dish of vanilla pudding.

"Say Persona, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?" Asked Meryl, apparently noticing something odd in her paperwork.

"Not at all." Persona replied. "By all means, ask away."

Nodding, Meryl began. "Well, I was just reviewing your file from the last season and noticed quite a few minor damage claims were filed. I was wondering if you could tell me how they happened."

"Minor damage claims? That's news to me. Fire away."

"Well, here's a claim for bullet damage."

Realization hit Persona like a truck. "Oh, that. Simply put, the main reason for that would be the door of doom."

Meryl nodded. "Okay, and here's one for minor flooding."

"Door of doom."

Meryl looked at Persona with a raised eyebrow, beginning to sense a trend. "Right, and one more for.... Stampede damage?"

Vash froze halfway through a donut as he felt Meryl's eyes fix on him. "What? Did I do something wrong?"

Persona had to chuckle a bit as he watched Vash inch away from the table. "As fun as this is to watch, I feel I should save Vash some pain and say that it wasn't him. It was an actual stampede, of Tauros to be exact."

Vash felt a wave of relief wash over him as Meryl turned off her death gaze. "Oh, well now that that's straightened out, how..."

"Door of doom."

"Ah." Definite trend here. "So then, why exactly did you keep opening the thing?"

"That one's easy." Vash piped up. "He was kind of obsessed at the time to find a place called the Shadow Realm so he could make something called a Millennium Eye. OUCH!"

After removing his fist from the back of Vash's head, Persona continued. "I can speak for myself, thank you very much. But yeah, that's pretty much it. It finally worked too! If you exclude the soul stealing part, I have a full functional Millennium Eye."

Meryl seemed rather stunned at this. "I've heard about these Millennium Items! If I remember correctly, the eye reads minds."

Persona nodded. "Correct you are. Want to see a demonstration?"

Meryl thought about it for a moment. *Why not? After all, what harm could come of it?*

"Okay, lets see how well it works." Persona grinned. "Cool! I haven't gotten to use it much. Now lets see, who would make a good test subject?"

Persona trained the eye on Vash, however....

"Hmmm, nothing but floating stars. Guess I hit him a bit too hard."

Moving on to Milly....

"What the? Nothing, absolutely nothing!"

Meryl sweatdropped. "Yeah, she tends to zone out where pudding is involved."

"I see. Well, moving down along the line, what say I see what's on your mind?"

After hearing that, Meryl put one thought at the forefront of her mind.

"Okay now, you're thinking...." Persona had to sweatdrop at what he saw. "Probe any further than this and die. Well, seeing as how you asked so nicely, how can I refuse?"

"I thought you might see it my way. So what now? We've run out of minds."

Persona looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Are you kidding? It's a full room here, I'll just hop from person to person."

With that said, Persona began to scan the room. "Let's see here, Keitaro's thinking of heading to the hot spring for a soak. That's a disaster waiting to happen. There's Vegeta, and from what I'm seeing, he's starving. Looks like the kitchen staff's going to be pulling some overtime. That's odd."

That caught Meryl's attention. "What's odd?"

"For some reason, Ranma is feeling an overwhelming sense of dread."

No sooner did the words leave Persona's mouth when Ranma was doused with cold water from above, but as we all know, that wouldn't be the end of the story. Right after being soaked, Happosai dropped from the ceiling and groped the now female Ranma.

"The hell!?" Ranma-chan yelled. "I thought we left you back on Earth you disgusting pervert!"

"You did, but how could I stay down there knowing that these were up here?" The perverted master said while nuzzling Ranma-chan's breasts.

Now in a perfect world, Happosai would be tossed through the ceiling from which he came, but as we all know, this isn't a perfect world.

"AHHHHHHH!!! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!"

That caught the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity as the turned to see Persona writhing on the floor clutching at his head. As it turned out, when Happosai glomped Ranma-chan he took up the space where Persona was focusing his Millennium Eye, allowing the author a good view into the old letch's mind.

"What happened to him?" Asked the closest person to Persona's table, who just happened to be Yugi Moto.

Meryl could only shrug. "I guess you could call it a Millennium Eye backfire."

"A what!?" No one knew the impact of those words more than Yugi. Well, except maybe Pegasus.

"Brain unclean! BRAIN UNCLEAN!" Persona was moaning, as he began to pull at the side of his face hidden by his long bang of hair.

As people were wondering what the author was doing, Persona tore his Millennium Eye from his face and threw it to the floor. The other authors in the vicinity could guess at what happened after they saw the Millennium item.

It was what happened next that caught them all off guard. Persona had grabbed Vash's gun from the gunslingers belt and drew a bead on the forsaken artifact.

"There are some things in this life that are best left unseen!" The silver haired author yelled as he fired at the item, shattering it into millions of pieces.

"Sorry about that, but it needed to be done." Persona said to the crowd who had gathered. But as he looked up he noticed that everyone was looking past him, a look of horror etched on their faces.

As Persona turned around to see what the problem was, that look of horror found a home on his face as well.

The window was cracked.

The bullet Persona fired to shatter his Millennium Eye had ricocheted off the floor and struck the window, the one thing separating them from the deadly vacuum of space.

"So, what now?" Fetch asked with baited breath.

Even as the question was asked, the crack in the window began to spider-web and grow larger by the second. Persona knew the answer to that one.

"Now? That's easy. RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RUN BEFORE!!!"

There was a mad rush for the exit of the restaurant as the window continued to weaken. Everyone managed to clear the area just as the window shattered, exposing the room to the void of space.

A few seconds after the window shattered the hotel's emergency automatic sealing system activated, cutting off the restaurant from the rest of the hotel and sealing the breach.

"Man, that was close!" Persona said as he released a sigh of relief, only catch his breath as he noticed the large group of people who had just evacuated the restaurant stare at him with looks of burning anger.

"You just killed our only source of food, you shumck!" Yelled a very irate Vegeta.

"Oh crap."

*****

"So, how is he?"

Vash, Meryl, and Milly were in the infirmary to check on Persona's condition after receiving that righteous beat down at the hands of a very pissed (and hungry) mob.

"In two words, messed up." Said Ami Mizuno, as she looked over the author's chart. "He's got a broken nose, two cracked ribs, and a separated shoulder."

Vash winced. "Ouch, can we see him?"

Ami shook her head. "I'm afraid not, he's still in surgery."

"SURGERY!?" The trio yelled.

Meryl was a little stunned at that. "I didn't think those injuries were bad enough to need surgery!"

"Oh, they weren't." Ami replied. "That was the reason for the surgery." She said, pointing to a Saiyan style boot that had 'Return to Vegeta' written on the inside lip.

"That was lodged in Persona's, umm, hind quarters. So don't be surprised if he walks a little funny for the next few days."

If there was ever a time for a mass group sweatdrop, this was it.

* * * *

DAY 21

The morning began early at the cafeteria, as a large "closed" sign was placed on the doors that are locked shut. Some hungry authors groaned about not getting any breakfast (well, probably they didn't notice that some floors had vending machines that sold frozen meals including breakfast dishes) while inside, the restaurant has been turned into a true Iron Chef style set, still dark. The kitchen in the middle, with the men on the Earth side, and the women on the Moon side. The tasters' table would face toward Mars, and the verdict announced facing toward the sun.

Inside the kitchen, the two sides are making their final preparations. For the men, it meant deciding on their menu...

"So we've got a giant block of tofu...what's next?" Amarah began.

"Isn't it obvious? We've got to cook five knockout Chinese dishes!" Shel replied.

"But what are we going to cook?" Konatsu asked.

"That's a good question...maybe we should refer to So-An's book..." Lei-On replied.

"But doesn't Meirii and Siro have it?" Shel asked.

"Well, we've got to go fast...I think the women are already getting going..." Tenkawa added.

And indeed the women were...however, they were busy doing something else...arguing. Their tofu block damaged, but yet still edible...there had to be something that could be done, and blaming the men wasn't exactly the answer right about now..."

"How could those men sink so low?" Chi Chi screamed.

"They have some nerve to wreck our block of tofu like that!" Lita added.

"Well...maybe...we could make another one..." Shinobu meekly replied.

"It's too late for that...we've got to get preparing our ingredients now because we'll only get an hour to cook once the thing gets underway." Kasumi smiled, but even she seemed a little agitated.

"So we're just going to wing it?" Brock added.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" The four cried in unison.

"Why me?!"

Back with the men, the cooking was finally underway. Shel and Lei-On were carving and slicing up the vegetables, Tenkawa and Konatsu delicately divvying up the tofu, while Amarah checked over some of the meat products that they would need, and the sauces.

"I need some soy sauce!" Amarah shouted.

"On the shelf!" Tenkawa replied.

"Let's kick it up!" Shel shouted excitedly.

Back with the women...

"Well, they seem to already be underway...should we be worried?" Lita asked worriedly.

"Don't you worry, ladies, I've got just the plan." Chi Chi replied.

"What is it?" Shinobu asked.

The five gathered around, and listened as Chi Chi whispered her idea into their ears. While some cringed in horror (mostly Shinobu, whilst Kasumi just seemed to nod her head), but some just smiled evilly.

"I like that idea." Lita replied.

"But isn't it not fair?" Shinobu asked.

"All's fair in love and war." Brock added to conclude.

The battle continues...

* * * *

In all the hotel's infinite capacity, it was mainly a hub of chaotic activity. A building that floated on its side, on the Moon. That was insane enough! But it was also a transport hub. Part of the hotel had a docking port, taking in guests as they arrived from their ships, or other forms of interdimensional space and time travel.

Fortunately, it was repaired after the first day damage Persona dealt out.

Authors were there, of course. And anime characters too.

It wasn't really a surprise to have many people going in and out, dropping in unexpectedly.

Well, there was one type of guest that everyone wasn't expecting...

A strange rocket ship had just docked itself at the port, and a lot of the staff were confused as to what to do. None of the ship's designs registered from any anime they knew. It did have the markings of being from Earth, and it was a fairly modern spacecraft.

All the people in the area at the time gathered to make a large crowd, and they wondered who was in such a ship?

A hatch on the side opened, letting out a hiss of depressurized air...

Everyone held their breath; first contact was about to be made.

"I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby give this ship permission to land and be refueled!" shouted the bespectacled man, who exited the ship to some unheard fanfare.

All in the area sweatdropped.

As they stared on, Koshi Rikdo was joined by another man, who was similar in appearance.

They were both men with brown hair and thick glasses. Very Keitaro-ish. Well, one man more so than the other.

Those who were familiar with Love Hina blinked.

"KEN AKAMATSU-SAMA?!"

Akamatsu-sama looked at the gaggle of people surrounding them. He squinted at Star.

"Shinobu-chan?"

The authoress blushed. "Ah... Ie, Akamatsu-sama. I'm Star Otaku, an authoress."

He still smiled. "Oh."

"Ah... What are you and Koshi Rikdo-sama, famous creator of Excel Saga, doing here?" she asked politely.

Rikdo-sama executed a grand pose, and the unheard fanfare of Il Palazzo's theme filled the air.

"We are now filthy rich manga artists who have had their works translated into anime and are living off the royalties. What else could we do with our money? Save it? No! We've been outcast and poor long enough! It's time we spent our money on grander things! Like women and machines!"

Akamatsu-sama sweatdropped slightly. "Ah... This trip was rather his idea. The last time I invested in some mode of transportation, it was hijacked from me."

Nervous murmurs went around, debating whether or not to tell the Love Hina creator his own characters were
here.

The two manga artists then stopped and realized where they were. They were on the Moon, and in a hotel full of people! Rather, a room of fanfic authors...

Rikdo-sama looked at the crowd as well, scrutinizing them. An evil glint formed in his eye, or rather his glasses, but stopped. "Eh, damn dirty otaku, I wouldn't be able to sue you if I tried, seeing as you all don't have very much money."

"Hey..." those who took offense started.

Akamatsu-sama shook his head at his traveling partner's Excel-like ignorance and idiocy.

"We seem to be intruding. We should go, but first, we need to refuel our ship."

Being polite, Star spoke up before these great creators. "Ah... would you gentlemen like to use the self-service? It's very easy to refuel here..."

"HA!" Rikdo-sama laughed derisively. "Are you kidding us?!"

The authoress was embarrassed and blushed red at these respected gentlemen. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Chromus spoke up this time, being the spokesperson for the hotel. "You're the creators of two favourite anime! Both of you deserve better. I'm sure the staff would be happy to give your ship the full service!"

Akamatsu-sama held up a hand and shook his head, refusing politely. "Such assistance is still beneath us."

"Well... what kind of service do you take?" Chromus asked.

"FANSERVICE!" the two artists said together. Actually, Akamatsu-sama simply said it while Rikdo-sama bellowed it.

At that moment, all the other hatches on the ship opened, and Rikdo's female creations crawled out in an assortment of costumes, straight out of any male's fantasy.

Maid outfit, school girl fukus, school girl gym clothes, office lady business suits, nurse uniforms, kogal high fashion, priestess robes, breezy sundresses, and the good old fashion tight t-shirt and shorty shorts.

There were the Aasu sisters and Kobayashi Poemi herself of "Puni Puni Poemi", and the femmes Excel, Hyatt, The ACROSS Girls, and both Ropponmatsus of "Excel Saga".

This harem-like menagerie immediately set to work, washing the ship and pumping rocket fuel while many appreciative males watched the sight.

* * * *

It was total Hell.

No matter which way he turned, there was nothing but destruction and chaos. What made things worse was that the cause of this great upheval didn't even bat an eyelash. They went right on doing what they were doing. As Joe Mello bore witness to the new form of Hell, he couldn't help but clench his fist and get enraged. All these people have fallen, inculding some of the strongest people I know, and all they can think about is fanservice?!?! He started to power up. I can't take this. I refuse to take this. This madness will end NOW!!!

For those of you not aware with Joe Mello's Universal Character Rating System, it is simply a generic form of gauging power. If you were reading a stat sheet, a character's "power level" is the same as the base life. There are two major (non-proportional) benchmarks when gauging power level. The first is 1,000, which is the starting power for most Senshi. The other is 2,500 which is roughly Super Saiyan, Level 1. With the help of some borrwed Little Serenity ki, Joe powered up to a UCRS level of 3,150, or, in other words, a beefy SSJ1. It was then that he was finally able to let out his anger.

"SHOTGUN!!!"

Joe aimed his Spirit Grenades at the ship which Rikdo's and Akamatsu's minions were serving and let loose a Hellfire's salvo. The attack hit, causing a massive explosion. Surprisingly enough, there was only cosmetic damage to the ship. However, there was also some cosmetic damage to the girls. There were two types of anime girls: those that were partially dressed, and those who just wore bumps and brusies. Either way, they all became unconscious for some reason or another. It was also a surprise that all of the men (that were still fully aware of the situation) stopped bleeding.

As Joe Mello, dropped the blonde look, and smiled to himself. Figures, he thought. They're fully exposed, so the "thrill" is gone.

Akamatsu could not think of anything to say, except for a very Mutsumiish "Oh my."

Rikdo, on the other hand, could. "You bastard! What in heck's name were you thinking?! Are you trying to defile anime?!"

Joe Mello donned his shades as he made his speech. "No, it is you who is defiling anime. What you have done is degrading not only to women, but to all human beings. You think that just because you've created a slightly popular half-decent anime you can broadcast your thoughtless acts of randomness and sex?!"

Akamatsu absorbed all this in. "It looks like we have a stern critic, Rikdo-sama."

Rikdo was a tad miffed. "Half decent?! Thoughtless!?! Degrading!?!?"

"ENOUGH!" Joe powered up again. "You are lewd and insensitive and I will end this madness now!" Joe drew his weapon and lunged at Rikdo like a pouncing tiger at Mach 1. He delivered a heavy mallet smash which sent Rikdo flying into a nearby wall. He bounced off the wall and onto the ground, leaving a dent in both places As soon as Joe was able to stop his forward progress, his switched to his blade and jumped over Akamatsu. As he landed, he began to proclaim his attack. "Yugamu Tsurugi Ryu." He landed and attacked. "Kiritsukeru kitsunenomen" (very loosely, Mask of the Fox Slash)

There was a brief pause in which nothing happened. Then, Joe finally sheathed his blade. A moment after, Akamatsu's clothing fell off in shreds, leaving nothing but a pair of white Tama-chan (i.e. the turtle) boxers. While Joe was leaving, pleased with his work, and while Akamatsu was wondering what work Joe had done, Rikdo had gotten up. During this madness, he had noticed one important thing about Joe's tirade.

"You there! Stop!"

Joe unsheathed his blade once more. "You enjoy your ignorance, don't you?"

"It would be far from ignorant for me to notice your sword technique. Yugamu Tsurugi Ryu, isn't it? You dare to mock two legendary creators for their sexual intentions when you yourself perform The Style of the Perverted Sword?!"

The blade was now 5 mm from Rikdo's jugular. "My form of perversion is not yours. While I may suggest, I do it with honor and taste. What you consider perverted is just plain sickening!" With that, Joe unleashed another Kitsunenomen. While Rikdo was left in an undershirt and Puchu boxers, (t00 |\/|u[h b33r) he was also badly bruised and collapsed. Joe powered down for the final time and began to walk away. He called back to the Love Hina creator. "You had best refuel and leave quick. Or else." All of a sudden, Joe's right leg visibly increased in muscle mass. Where Akamatsu was coming from, he could tell that the author vigilante meant business. As Joe headed out of the loading dock, he presumptuously thought to himself, So this is what it feels like to be blacklisted.

* * * *

A gaggle of Nurse Joys ran into the hospice, where Ami and Mistukake were enjoying a slight reprieve ever since the sex wars.

Both healers hopped to action, and were shocked to see the sudden admittance of so many young men into the small clinic.

"What happened?!" Ami exclaimed. "Are they all right?"

Mistukake then pointed at the bloody rags. "Where did this happen?"

"At the docking port!" reported one Joy.

"An industrial accident?" inquired Ami.

The Joy shook her head.

"Massive simultaneous nosebleeds."

Two gurneys were being wheeled together, side by side, and in an almost sweet sight, Star and Artful were holding hands between them. It would have been sweet of they were in a better condition...

The pair's faces were quite red and flush, and their eyes comically swirly, and they kept their mouths agape, muttering to themselves over and over again.

"Kawaii... kawaii..."

* * * *

At the theatre, there was a huge crowd. The concern of Mutsumi's fainting spell had caused major concern for the Love Hina cast that Naru momentarily forgot that she hated the men here.

With the men at council, it was a dramatic atmosphere as men and women watched…including two teams of Iron Chefs.

"My son's going to win this game and bring back the money!" Chi Chi sneered at the men's team who were sitting on the other side.

Shel, on the other hand, was looking cool. "I'm sure you're mistaken, madam. I believe it will be Ah Tsing who will take the championship."

"You've got some nerve!"

"Oh yeah? You are the one who started this whole debate in the first place."

Chi Chi huffed, as she took her seat amongst the rest of her team of cooks. "Chi Chi, are you sure about saying that? Goten has two votes already." Lita informed the team leader.

"WHAT?" The head chef shouted back.

And as the last vote fell, all colour drained from the Son family matriarch's face, as she saw the lettering on the final ballot...'GOTEN'.

"Looks like we win." Shel laughed, as he headed out.

As the crowd filed out, Chi Chi remained dazed and completely out of it.

"CHI CHI!" Shinobu shrieked, before the head chef passed out...

For tonight, the competition was cancelled, for Chi-chi to recover…

* * * *

Goten wasn't a happy chappy, the poor kid seemed to have been crying since he was eliminated, much to Jayson's poor ears.

However, the first thing he saw was a distraught mother, along with his big brother Gohan, his future wife Videl and his best friend Trunks, with an indifferent Vegeta and a smiling Bulma with them.

"MY SOOONNNNNN! WAHHHHHH!"

And was given the mother of all bear hugs by Chi-Chi.

"Mom…mom, I'm fine, please you're cwushing me…" But Goten had to laugh, he missed his mother.

"Sorry about how you went sport…" Gohan said. "…I thought you would have gone all the way myself though…"

"Thanks big bro!" Goten said, still a bit disappointed, but obviously not as much as what happened.

"Hey, it's been a while Goten, I need a good workout, none of the guys here are strong enough.." Trunks said as the two friends got together, and headed for something to eat. The others followed.

The thought of food for her son made Chi-chi's passion come back…

"OH, AND TELL THOSE MEN THAT TOMORROW, CHI-CHI SON IS GOING TO KICK THEIR SORRY…"

"Chichi, your son has just returned, language please…" Bulma said.

"Oops, sorry."

* * * *

The night was dark, the Earth was cast, the Moon was quiet.

Wait, the moon was quiet?

It was, because it was 3.00am Standard time, and only the most committed of people were still awake, watching subbed episodes of Azumanga Daioh or Full Metal Panic. Some logged into various sites to see who was winning in other reality shows, such as Anime-mazing Race, Animole and Roomies 3. (And also wondering how Yukino can be a host and a contestant, how Ami can be healing here and a dead cert in another, and how Kiyone was in one show and just got eliminated in another…)

However, one had finally come back to his show.

A quick swipe of the card and he had gained access to the locked doors. Sure, the moon may not be as warm as Hawaii, but sometimes it best to go somewhere where you won't be sacrificed to the angry gods every 5 minutes.

"Ah, it's good to be home."

Descendant Of The Dragon entered AS5 Hotel, incognito. O.K, it was late at night and nobody would have seen him anyway.

However, it hadn't been the best of times for the young maestro, as reports from Jayson Gold had kept him occupied about what was happening, such as screaming, destruction, the sex wars, the old bit of Persona destruction, etc.

'Sure Chris, it's all fine and dandy." DotD sighed. It just proved the old saying, 'If you want something done right do it yourself…' He quickly thought about the old AA. Maybe Adam should have heeded that…

Never mind. He was here to get one last bit of info from Jayson. He quickly logged on to his personal file from his laptop (with a chibi Mutsumi and Naru on the top)…

…and was stunned by the information Jayson had sent him this time. It was all based on one subject.

Kelly.

Shots of Kelly hurting Shinobu on the early days, (a crime worse than death in otaku fan's minds) Kelly screaming on the show when she was getting hit on, Kelly getting jealous whenever anyone asked about Jayson, Kelly seemingly trying to sabotage the tofu (of course, Jayson neglected to show his involvement)…

…then of Kelly forcing Chromus to go back via some sort of time-travel capabilities to send Ichino back. Jayson and Chris had informed him that it was Kelly's mistake which brought Ichino in the first place, and if it hadn't been for Tom Greenville pretty much threatening her (well, singing to her), she probably still would not have got Casey's family here to the hotel.

This was coupled with the fact that Kelly seemed to not want Chromus to do anything, as evident with the struggle of getting Konatsu here. Especially when considered that other authors and hosts had their characters from other animes and even games, or their own imaginations.

Kelly's reasoning was that 'She isn't even in the game!' Considering who else was here, that reasoning was pretty far fetched.

Then DotD smiled.

That was about to change.

He had a hunch about the next day. Poor Mutsumi may have to withdrawl…but with a quick think, he got an idea to make all parties happy.

First, a cheque book. Then an e-mail, and finally, somewhere to get to the future. Washu's here somewhere…

Someone was coming down. 'Crap, they can't see me like this!'

DotD tried to hide, but it was no use. His laptop was still on flashing, and whoever came down would obviously…

"tsukuri mashou… tsukuri mashou…" groaned one Adam Pulver.

"Raspberry heaven, I'm coming back to you…" groaned one Chromus.

"Fushigi na… tobira no moji wa SORA… MIMI CAKEY!…" shouted one Joe Mello after Adam had cajoled the two to a marathon night of Azumanga Daioh. (He'd needed something off his mind after being mercilessly attacked by 'Star', or in Joe's case, being attacked by nearly everyone) Needless to say, they were sleepwalking tongue-twisters in Japanese for the rest of the night.

After the problem was sorted, DotD sighed and returned to business at hand.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * * *

DAY 22

Kelly's got up ready to take her space as rightful host of the show. After all, she was the star. She was the real looker of the show (although about 6 of the girls on the island may have something to say about that…), she was the witty one, and she was so…

"THERE SHE IS!"

…dead.

"LET ME AT HER! I'LL KILL HER!"

"Trust me, you're not the first to want to…" a male voice said, as Jayson Gold and Chromus had the hard job of restraining said person wanting to kill Kelly. A familiar voice to say the least.

"Eep!" Kelly screamed. "A ghost!"

"I'M NOT A GHOST! THE NAMES ICHINO YANAGIDA, THE PERSON YOU SENT BACK JUST BEFORE AKARI WAS COMING HERE! YOU BI…"

"Calm down Itchan! Killing Kelly as gratifying as it may be won't help your chances…besides, if all else fails and no-one takes the money, you can just wait here and…" Chromus smiled, slitting his throat.

Ichino smiled evilly. "Oh, that's a good idea…"

Kelly nearly wet her panties. "Mommy…"

Jayson chuckled. "Well Kel. I'm afraid this news maybe a surprise, but in fact, the boss has decided on something. He's decided to offer a quarter of a million dollars to anyone who wishes to go now and come home. It means they'll forfeit a spot on the jury and to win the game, but at least they will have some money. And Ichino here is our replacement if that happens. Yes, it's a girl, so why are you moaning?" Kelly said.

"Well, she could fit on the men's side as well…" Kelly said.

Not smart.

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT FEMININE?!" Ichino said.

"That's for sure…but still…" Happosai launched himself into the air out of nowhere…

….and was senting blasting off by an Ichino Osakan roundhouse.

'It's O.K. With that temper, she won't last long if she does get on.' Kelly thought. She sighed. "O.K…get on the boat."

Jayson nodded. And smiled.

"Oh, one last thing…Donnie's rep is doing the next episode, so don't bother staying overnight." Jayson left with a smile.

And Kelly left with a curse.

* * * *

If there was any time to realise there was a conspiracy in the hotel, this was it.

GOTEN?!! FRIGGIN GOTEN!

There was no way in hell that 90% of the voters would know that Goten would have been eliminated. Goten was one of the favourites to survive, heck, one of the favourites to win, full stop. Not since Michelle's elimination has anyone with such low odds been eliminated.

There is something going on…he had sent Tom to spy on Chromus after trying to fit the pieces together, whilst Sam was busy ready to research his movements since they got here.

Jim was preparing for the next episode of Anime Survivor of course, so he got the next two days off.

And he could already tell who was the next to go, just from the 3 people getting votes already…all Seiya. He shortened his odds as much as he could without appearing paranoid, but he knew it was a matter of time.

"You seem troubled, my friend."

"What the…" Donnie said.

White sliver like hair, a familiar face.

"Bakura?"

Bakura was talking 'normally' (e.g. sons Millennium Ring influence) towards the host. Donnie still had a bad feeling though…

"Please no more betting…"

Bakura simply waved him off. "Oh no, I'm not into that. However, I do have a proposition about this mystery prediction racket…"

"Huh?"

And then his voice changed.

"... I could solve this mystery for you. For a price of course."

Donnie at first wondered if he should panic, but Bakura continued talking.

"You see…mystic energies are coming from a young girl by the names of Raye Hino. Maybe she is the one you should talk to…or maybe you should find out where Chromus has been. Has he been 'jumping ship' so to speak…"

Donald considered. Bakura did seem to be in tune with these things. At the moment, he only assumed that Chromus may have gone perhaps to get 'revenge' so to speak, and he knew he was close to the Hoshino girl which gave him so much grief two seasons ago.

Also, Bakura about Raye. From what Donnie knew was that she was psychic, and that she was running a fortune telling booth somewhere on here. Was it more than…

Nah, she isn't that powerful. Was it a front for something more?

Perhaps Bakura could help him...

Donald paused. Now how could Bakura help him? Bakura was a nice quite young man without any thought of treachery or evil... Except for his Millenium Ring!

"You!"

"Well?"

"Sam warned me about you, Dark spirit! Any help you give me will lead to evil! And I will not have it!"

"I am truely sorry you feel that way. But then, I'd probably do a better job in your business than you OR your opponent EVER could. And, heck, it'll give me the chance to get rid of this goody-two-shoes. And with you so highly placed..."

With an evil snicker, Bakura's ring glowed and he blasted a memory eraser technique towards the hapless human…

…which came as a surprise when Donnie somehow dispelled it.

"What trickery is this mortal?" Bakura screamed.

"You forget. The same powers that make us valuable, also make us harder to defeat." As to show evidence, Donald was now subtly glowing with a light-gray sheen.

In his left hand, a staff of white ash. And in his right, a thin Sabre. But the sheen around it and the hand holding it was medium-gray, and the space around it slightly distorted.

Donald had no illusions, though. He sensed that that shot was merely a fraction of the ring's power. Against its full power, his low-level spells wouldn't be of much help. And since his Sabre was from the Real World, he doubted that he could break the Millenium Ring with it. Plus, with powers that strong, he didn't dare use his Pokemon, (who were only in their 30's in Level,) for fear that they may be destroyed or corrupted. His only hope was that Uncle or Raye could sense the Ring's Dark Chi and investigate.

"Not bad…but you can't stop me!"

Bakura sent wave after wave of mind probing, which Donnie tried to block, but it was getting tougher and tougher. Almost like a match against Pegasus again.

Suddenly…

"EVIL SPIRIT, BEGONE!"

An ofuda came flying in…

…nailing Donnie on the nose.

"Heh, oops!" Raye sweatdropped before looking at Bakura. "Ah, the real target!"

"Not so fine…his mind will soon belong…"

He didn't finish his sentence as an anti-oni scroll was just inches from his face. "So, the demon that resides in you is afraid of this…" Raye said.

Bakura growled, but eventually backed off.

'You may have blocked me today, but you won't block me forever.' He thought as he retreated.

Raye saw the booth manager, and rival in her eyes, and sighed.

"I'll get Ami." Raye said, feeling a little guilty about that, but still…

* * * *

Donnie wasn't going to be the first patient there though.

"Mutsumi-san!" Keitaro screamed, seeing the anaemic girl get through thanks to Joy and Mitsukake. Naru temporary forgot she hated him to join him with Motoko, Su, Shinobu, Mitsune and Sara, being shipped into the ward for a check up.

"Is she O.K doctor?" Naru asked.

"She will be fine." Mitsukake opened his left hand around a half-conscious Mutsumi…

…who suddenly felt a warm glow over the power of the Suzaku Warrior.

"W-what are you doing?" Motoko said, unsure of what the doctor was doing.

"It's O.K. He's healing her. He can use this power once a day…how do you think Keitaro always is fine every day he leaves here after his daily bruisings?" Joy said.

(Somewhere, Akatamusu-sensei said something about 'Love Hina physics' before continuing his discussing on why Mutsumi was the hotter anaemic girl between her and Hyatt with Rikdo-sensei.)

"Wow…" Su said. "Can I use you for my creations?"

Mitsukake chuckled. "Not today little one. I leave her now in Ami's capable hands." Mitsukake said to the young physician who blushed.

And Mutsumi woke up.

"Ara…where am I?" Mutsumi said as Naru clutched her friends' hand.

"You're at the hotel Mutsumi-san. I'm afraid you got too sick to play the game…" Naru said.

"…so your friends on the island decided to send you back, although you do have a prize." Motoko said.

"That's right! $250,000! Ne, Mutsumi-san, can I ask you a favour?" Kitsune said with a gleeful smile.

"Not today Kitsune!" Keitaro said. "Are you O.K Mutsumi?"

The girl's innocent face and smile followed by a nod was in the affirmative. "But the others? Kiyone-san? Ukyo-san? Jade and Casey-chan?"

"They'll be fine Mutsumi. Just worry about yourself. You were…amazing out there. How you did it with your illness is incredible..." Naru said. And smirked. "…especially a lot better than this baka last term…"

"Thanks for reminding me…" Keitaro said.

"…seriously, we felt you could have won as well. For now, Mutsumi, well done." Naru finished.

"Thank you all…" Mutsumi said as Ami admininstred the cold compress on her forehead.

It was a shame…but Mutsumi was sad about not going so far. She wanted to see Ah Tsing again and thank him for the herbal brew…she wanted to see if he would win, or if not him, one of her female friends.

But for now, it was time to rest.

She deserved it.

* * * *

Even though it looked like Tristan Taylor was growing more and more expendable, Joey Wheeler was not about to stop. Not when he was one step away from total victory over his opponent. He put on his best shirt and pants (Laugh all you want. They actually are nice clothes.) and even put on a tie. Of course, you can't expect to be taken seriously with a Snoopy tie on, but this is Joey we're talking about.

Anyway, after one last look in the mirror, Joey went to the mantle of his room's fireplace to get his wallet. He opened it up to the picture of his ever-enduring sister, Serenity. He communicated to her once more in prayer-thought. I hate ta do this to ya, sis, but I'm really sorry. I'm sure dere'll be someone else for you.

Just then,

"AH-CHOO!!"

"You okay, Joe? You aren't sick, are you?"

"I'm okay. Hey, you sneezed, too, Yugi."

"Never mind that and make your move."

"All right. Hit me. . . . Ha! 21! Now you owe me 8 Legacy of Darkness 1st edition boosters!"

"Darn it, Joe Mello! Why'd you have to pick Blackjack as the game and not Duel Monsters?!"

Getting back to our story, Joey ended this round of sentiment, put his wallet in his pants and left to meet his so-called date.

* * * * *

Miaka stood in the lobby, anxiously awaiting this "mystery contact" that called her the other day. While it was probably some sort of trap, anything that involved checking up on Chiriko and Yui was a good thing. She eventually sat down in a chair and tried to relax for a few minutes before a blond-haired boy wearing a Snoopy tie exited the elevators and headed toward him. "Are you the one I'm supposed to talk to?"

Joey extended his hand to shake. "Yep. Dat's me. My name's Joey."

"Oh yes, the boy from last night! Hello Joey." Miaka nervously extended her own hand and the two shook. As they did so, some thoughts crossed their mind.

Miaka: His hand feels so warm and comforting. Maybe this isn't a trap.

Joey: Whoa. Soft hands. And cute, too. Man, this is gonna be sweet!

Joey cleared his throat. "Shall we get going?"

Miaka nodded. "Might as well."

As the two went to Joey's chosen destination Miaka asked a very good question. "Where are we going?"

"Oh. I know this girl who could help you find your friends. She's got some pretty neat powers and stuff."

"I see. Are they magic?"

"Yeah. Got all that ESP stuff, too."

Miaka was interested. Perhaps Joey could be of more help than either of them could've ever imagined.

* * * * *

They reached the end of the line. Miaka became depressed when she saw the sign. RAYE'S PSYCHIC HANDLING! PREDICTIONS OF ANIME SURVIVOR! "But this is just a Betting Booth."

Joey turned to her, and defended himself with all sincerity. "Yeah, but there's more to it than that. Sure, this may be a place where some morons come to get their picks for who goes off next, but Raye is restricted to just that stupid game!" His voice grew in vindictiveness. "You just gotta trust me, Miaka. I'm sure she'll help us find your friends! I just know it!"

Miaka had to take a moment. What, at first, looked like to be just another plot to exploit her had know turned into a heartfelt search. Miaka smiled warmly at Joey's soliloquy. "All right," she said. "Let's go in."

Joey was jubilant. :"ALL RIGHT!!!" he exclaimed as he shot his fist in the air. "We're goin in!" As they entered the fortune telling center, more thoughts raced across their minds.

Miaka: I could never believe that such a kind-hearted person would ever willingly come to my aid like this.

Joey: I guess all those years with you's finally payin off, Sis. To heck with Tristan. This Miaka girl needs me.

Tamahome: I wonder if this girl's predictions are for real.

Joey's eyes widened. Tamahome was in front of them, getting his regular AS5 prediction. That was bad. What was worse was that he turned around to notice the happy couple. Miaka, too, was startled, and what made it even more worse was when Miaka and Joey simultaneously realized that they were still holding hands. (Well, Joey switched hands before they left the lobby, but that's beside the point.) The Suzaku immeadiately went into "Jealous Boyfriend" mode, got up and went in Joey's face.

"You know, you Duelists are becoming a pain in my Axe Raider." Tama-san said with surprising calm.

Joey laughed nervously. "Well . . . uh . . . you see . . . I was only tryin to help her . . . cause . . ."

The next sounds that were heard were of Tamahome throwing Joey out of Raye's establishment, then kicking him into a wall. Miaka ran out to see if Joey was okay.

"Look, Mommy! Puppies!" he proclaimed in reference to the Marmadukes dancing around his noggin

All right, so the answer was no. Tamahome was feeling quite proud of himself, until. . .

"Malvagità!"

"But Zoe! I . . ."

Too late. A heavy hammer smash from his love sent the unlucky J.P. flying, and crashing, into Tamahome, resulting in a double "Orrroooo" (Must be an old school thing) Miaka left the scene confused, but knowledgeable that all is fair in love, war, and hentai smashing.

* * * *

It was a devastating loss. From 3-1 to 4-3, it was a hard hit for the bar owner from Burnaby...only hours after Vancouver's devastating loss in Game 7 to Minnesota, Persona was back at the club, drinking his heart out like most Vancouverites were after such a humiliating come-from-behind from victory by the 6th seed. As the disappointed and powerless Vash the Stampede, Milly Thompson and Meryl Strife looked on, the owner of the Survivor Club continued to down drink after drink, trying to drown out the sorrow of his home team losing. However, in another corner of the club, another person was also drinking heavily...but this time, in celebration.

"AND HERE'SH TO THE OTTAWA SHENATORSH!" A certain cowboy-hatted and cloaked man slurred. "MAY THE GODS BLESSH DEM WIT VICTORIE OVER JOISEY!"

"Globie...er...Dragon, don't you think you've had a couple drinks too much?" A worried blue-haired authoress shouted. "You know Persona is still there, and he's...um...listening."

"SHO WHAT? IT'S OTTAWA ALL DA WAYSH, BABY!" The man slurred back.

"I really don't care much about this anyway..." An indifferent Artful commented.

"Oh, sempai, who cares? Let's just help Dragon celebrate for his Ottawa Senators...please?" Star replied, all doe-eyed. "Besides, all of our drinks are on the house!"

"Oh, all right....just tonight."

"Yay!"

Hearing that, the hatted man flagged down Vash, who was washing some glasses. "HEYYY VASHIE, ANOTHER ROUND OF DAT GOOD CANADJUN SCHTUFF OVER HERESH!"

Vash sighed, and slid a couple more drinks down the bar table to the extremely intoxicated man, who was still chanting "OT-TA-WA! OT-TA-WA! OT-TA-WA!" at ear-splitting volume. This obviously finally crossed the line for Persona, who lumbered down the table.

"Hey bud-dy! Mind if you celebrate somewhere elsh?" Persona slurred.

"Not on yer life! Ottawa rulesh the world!" The figure replied.

"So they are, huh? Well, you'vesh got a bigggg mouth! Let'sh duel!"

"Fine by me!"

Immediately, the two Duel Disks were pulled out, but before anything could be done, the two fell down, unable to stand up and passed out from all of that alcohol. Cue mass facefaults and sweatdropping, and you've got the scene...

* * * *

DAY 23

The air was tense.

Foreheads were sweating.

Both sides looked upon each other with extreme disdain. With the stakes so high, this was truly a game of winner-take-all.

"WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO OUR VERY SPECIAL IRON CHEF BATTLE! TWO TEAMS OF FIVE HAVE GATHERED HERE AT THE RESTAURANT TO DECIDE WHICH GENDER WILL TRULY BE THE BEST IN THE CULINARY WORLD!" Kelly announced, a la Takeshi Kaga.

"I am your host, Jayson Gold, and today's theme ingredient has already been decided...TOFU! So, let's bring on the teams!" Jayson added.

"She hails from West City, and she's rarin' to rock and roll, it's Chi Chi and the Crockettes!" Kelly declared, as the women rushed out from the kitchen in a puff of smoke.

"And he hails from France, and they're ready to go, it's Shel and the Destroyers!" Jayson shouted, as the men in the crowd cheered their entrance.

Once the smoke was cleared, a platform in front of the cooking arena arose from seemingly out of nowhere, and the leading duo of Jayson and Kelly appeared. Both of them were glaring at each other, as if they were about to kill one another.

"LET'S GET READY TO CRUMBLE!" Kelly shouted.

"Lame!" Jayson mocked, as he banged the giant gong to begin the cooking.

The two teams rushed to their sides, and the cooking began. The audience looked on as Shel's and Chi-Chi's sides literally began to cook up a storm...and in less than an hour's time, the food was ready to be tasted.

"Now it's time for tasting! Our panel today consists of...Anime Master ZERO!" Jayson declared.

Some members of the audience applauded.

"....Survivor Club owner, Persona!"

Mostly glares this time.

"...Saiyan Princess, Little Serenity!"

This time a cheer, which Persona rolled his eyes.

"...Series manager, CHROMUS!"

Chromus raised a hand, as the crowd applauded.

"...and our fifth and final taster will be...former champion, Ash Ketchum!"

Ash sauntereed up to the tasting table, much to the chagrin of the female audience members and a very annoyed Kelly.

"Now, let's taste the dishes of Shel and the Destroyers!"

Kelly was outraged. "What? I thought Chi Chi was serving first!"

"Tough beans. I called it first."

As the men began to serve, an angry Kelly jumped down from the pedestal, and tried to interfere with the serving. But a quick move by Shel knocked her harmlessly away before any of the men's dishes could be lost. And since he was captain, Shel served the first dish.

"Tofu and winter melon in a clear stock. This will refresh your palette before the meal begins." Shel introduced.

"Next, we've got a Lo-Hon vegetable stew with tofu puffs." Lei-On added, introducing the second dish.

"Followed by an Old School-style Ma-Po tofu..." Amarah added.

"Then followed by greens with a crab and tofu gravy." Konatsu chimed in.

"...and to finish off, a cool tofu dessert with almond sweetening." Tenkawa concluded.

The judges each took a sample of the dishes, and began to scribble their notes and their scores onto their scorecards. Once the mens' dishes were cleared away, Kelly smiled smugly as the women served their food...

"First, we've got a fried tofu appetizer with a sour dipping sauce." Chi Chi led off.

"...then we've got a tofu and salted fish soup." Lita added.

"Then followed by my specialty, a meatless version of my Chipotle Burritos, with tofu!" Brock declared.

"Then a delightful mini-tofu sukiyaki, right at the table." Kasumi continued.

"...and to finish it off, a sugary sweet almond tofu cheesecake!" Shinobu smiled to close it off.

The judges also tasted the five other dishes, and once their evaluations were complete, the moment of truth was finally at hand. Who's cuisine would truly reign supreme? "It's time to find out who is the winner of this titanic battle!" Kelly shouted. "So, let's start with you, Serenity! How did you vote?"

"I will vote for Shel and the Destroyers. Their dishes might be a bit lame-o and classic, but they are really good! Chi Chi had a bit too much spice, as if they were trying to drown out the flavours." Little Serenity commented, as she placed a blue X in front of her.

"Now, let's move to CHROMUS!"

"As much as I liked Shel and his blokes' dishes, I have to give it to the women. Their loving and sweet personalities reflect on their dishes very well." CHROMUS replied, putting a red O in front of him.

A small chorus of calling "fix!" was heard, as the next judge was revealed. "Now, how about you, AMZ?"

"I think I'll go with Shel and the Destroyers too. While the women's food were good, they were too westernized in their approach. The way Shel and them did it, made it really like the stuff I can get at home...and that's all good."

AMZ replied, putting out a blue X again.

"Now, to Ash!"

Ash paused for a second, before beginning. "Well, as much as I liked the girls and Brock's stuff, I think Shel had a good idea of what tofu's about. Their cooking is a lot like how my mom would make it...with lots of love and caring for taste." And with a blue X, the game was up.

"And finally to Persona." Kelly sighed, knowing the game was up.

"I think I'm going to give the women a vote. It was a close call, but their sweetness reflects well in their dishes. They might have lost, but at least it was a close one." Persona replied, putting the red O in front of him, one vote too few.

"AND WITH THAT SHEL AND THE DESTROYERS HAVE WON THE IRON CHEF BATTLE!" Jayson declared, as blue confetti rained down from celebration balls mounted on the ceiling. Shel, Lei-On, Amarah, Tenkawa and Konatsu mobbed each other, while Shinobu began to cry, while Chi Chi and the others fumed.

"FIXED! THIS COMPETITION WAS FIXED!" Chi Chi declared. "I ORDER THAT THIS MATCH BE NULLIFIED AND RE-DONE!"

"Forget it, Madame Son. Accept defeat like a good loser." Shel replied snidely.

"THIS ISN'T THE END!" Chi Chi shouted, as the women retreated into the hail of blue confetti, as the men and their supporters continued to celebrate, while the women simply simmered in their latest setback...

* * * *

Enough was enoough! Ami and Mitsukake were fed up with the utter nonsense that stemmed from these petty sex wars. Fortunately, their prayers had been answered, for the sheer number of Naru attacks had gone down, and Keitaro was flying in less regularly, which was a good sign.

Sadly, the number of Akane attacks were rising...

The youngest Tendou was fascinated by this new Anything Goes Anti-Hentai Martial Arts. Unfortunately, she was trying it out based on hearsay and without proper instruction, with dire consequences. Mostly for Ranma, any other being with a Y chromosome, and Chromus (specifically, his pocketbook). The payments being made to the "Old Dojo" crew were taking their toll on the season's budget.

Fortunately for Ami, while she took a short lunch break, she found the authoress having a meal with her dear beau.

"Miss Otaku! Thank goodness I've found you!"

The other bluenette looked up and smiled. "Yes?"

"Miss Otaku, I have to plead with you, can you please, please, demonstrate your Anti-Hentai Martial Arts?"

She blinked. "I don't know... I mean, the name's a little misleading; it doesn't cause pain to all men, so I don't think the ladies would like it..."

"It's more popular than you think. Please, you should demonstrate it, and teach everyone, men and women alike. I've heard of what it does, separating who is guilty and who isn't. It would be educational as well as helpful for the male population's health and well-being. It would be a great help to the clinic if you can prevent a lot of injuries."

"I don't know..."

"You should do it, dear! You always want to help others, here's your chance," Artful encouraged his girl. "There are young minds willing to learn, and you have a chance to mold them."

Star smiled; she did like helping people! "Alright. I'll do it. But I need help. For one thing, I need two male volunteers. Two control samples, to use a scientific term. Keitaro is a given for the accidental ecchi. And I need one true hentai. Seiya seems to be a good choice, and I'll wait until he's voted off, unless you have another one in mind."

"*ahem* I'm willing to get into some hands on work with my girl..."

"Gomen, sempai, but you know the drawback: it doesn't work on your true love."

"Drat. Well then, I guess I'll stick close by with band-aids."

Star turned to the awaiting physician. "Ami, it's a deal! Arrange a day, set up a venue, and I'll do it! The school of Anything Goes Anti-Hentai Martial Arts will open!"

Immediately, all of the girls in the area gathered round the girl and asked at once:

"Where do we sign up?!"

* * * *

DAY 24

Joey had just made his bet on Seiya, that Raye girl was pretty hot, but after his misunderstanding with Tamahome, he decided to play it safe. Besides, he could have sworn that Mai was getting upset with him…

It couldn't be…could it?

He was too busy walking by, when Kaiba walked by with Mokuba. The Moon technology was perfect for observing satellites, and how he could work out his Duel Disk systems.

And he was the last person that Joey wanted to see.

"Oh great, not you Kaiba…listen, I'm not in the best of moods, so no taunting please…" Joey said.

"Oh, I don't need to. I think the tie alone is doing the taunting for me." Kaiba smirked before he left.

Joey looked down, and with embarrassment, realising he was still wearing the Snoopy tie from before.

"I AM NOT A...

All of a sudden, Joey felt something underneath his foot. He looked down and saw a circular disc in blue. It looked like a…

"MINE!" Joey screamed…but as you know, in space, no-one can hear you scream. (Unless you are Keitaro Urashima…or more recently, Takato or Henry)

Fetch was looking along with littlekitty for one of his transformation mines.

"I'm sure I dropped it around he…"

"WOOF!"

"Is that where you left it?" littlekitty said, pointing to an area.

"Why do you ask?" Fetch said.

"Oh no reason." Littlekitty said, observing what was ahead of her, especially as Fetch looked on.

"Bark bark bark!"

Yep. Joey is now a dog.

His worst nightmare come to life. He was glad that Kaiba hadn't seen that…but what if Yugi comes?

Then again…in this form, he could rip Tristan to shreds if he got eliminated tonight…

"Don't worry.", says Fetch "He'll be back to normal in nine days. Til then, we'd better take good care of him."

Fetch walks off with a grin on his muzzle and his tail wagging a mile a minute. Joey followed, and hoped that Tristan would go in 9 days.

Shame he couldn't collect any money now…

* * * *

With team Casey victorious once more, Tom was pretty much in a state of happiness/drunkness as he passed by the corridor. Sure, he should be watching Chromus, but hey, life was too good.

O.K…so a small sour note when that Casey wannabe had returned and was even admitted into the show, but she knew that she wouldn't last compared to Casey. No chance in hell!

If he'd had not been contemplating those thoughts, he should have been interested in a conversation nearby…

"So…he went over there again?" a female voice said. It actually belonged to Michelle Kai'oh, the first female to be eliminated in Anime Survivor 5.

"Yes…he wouldn't tell me the details, just said he was going to visit his 'blue haired cutie-pie operative.' Geez, even he's getting girl mad…" the other girl, Raye Hino said.

"Ah, so she's 'the mole?' " Michelle smiled.

"Not really…just someone who Chromus is owing a favor…something about an invitation to his next series…that and getting away from the idiots she hangs with as well…it seems to help with her sanity." Raye sighed.

"And this is also for vengence for me? Raye, I'm honoured but there is no…!"

Raye scoffed. "Oh please…there's more to this. Don't you know how that man has treated the girls here? Early days. Ami was telling us about a nice man that sent her a love letter…didn't he know that always breaks her out in hives? Plus how old is he, 9, 10 years senior?"

Michelle neglected to mention Darien to Raye.

"Last season…I heard that a girl even younger was flirting with him and he couldn't say no, something about stopping a 'mon war or something…what a pervert!" Raye screamed.

"So why did you save him?" Michelle asked the $64,000 question.

Raye sighed. "Because no-one deserves to die here. I can tell that he's not evil…just misguided. Besides, it gives me a bit of a challenge."

Raye turned. "It's almost time for the vote. He said it was Seiya…so…" Raye and Michelle headed out.

Tom shook his head. "What was that?"

Oh well…if it was important, he'd remember it later. For now…

* * * *

Takuya was a little disappointed. Takato and Henry were well on their way to repairing their reputation. They simply hadn't done anything perverted. Rika and Jeri had let them back into the room, and all seemed to be well in the Tamers camp.

"And that Arp guy also said that our series sunk like an anchor! We can't forget that!" Takuya fumed.

"Don't worry, Takuya... when Zoe and JP get back, I'll have a way to solve both of those problems." Koji sat up against the bed. "I'm sure Takato, Henry, and Arp will be back in the hotseat in no time."

"How do you plan to do that?"

Koji smiled and pulled out a camcorder. It had a yellow-and-red marker on it. "Arp put me in charge of finding it. The bellhops screwed up and misplaced it, and then it was almost stolen by the dark clones. One spirit evolution and a clone-whooping later, this thing's mine."

"So how do we use it?"

"Well, it turns out that this proves that it was all an accident and a big misunderstanding."

"Oh," Takuya was disappointed.

Until Koji smiled, "But when edited properly, it also proves that Takato and Henry are bigger perverts than Seiya and Onizuka combined."

* * * *

Seiya Uribitake, the first member of the jury.

The Nadesico faithful wasn't much, but with Akito and Ryoko there, at least he had some support.

Although the round of boos from the female population didn't help his credit somewhat.

"Seiya…glad you're back…now I can kill you myself." Ryoko Subara clenched her fists together.

"EEP! SAVE ME TENKAWA!" Seiya screamed.

Akito shook his head. "Never change do you. Oh well…you lasted longer than you do…and we've got a present for you."

"Huh? A present?" Seiya said.

Akito dropped what looked like an image reciever. "That Washu-lady helped us with this. It transmits messages from the future if you are connected." Akito indicated his implant on his right arm.

Seiya nodded and Ryoko played the message. A shot of the bridge was seen, one of Yurika Misamaru, the captain, with Minato, Ruri and Megumi on the front, Jun in the background…

"Seiya, how the heck did you get so much further than I did?!" Yurika screamed.

"Because he's a lucky old coot!" Hikaru Amano added from the background.

"Old coot…acult…what a vamp." Izumi chuckled, but the two then went into a chorus of 'Uri-pie!" which brought a smile to the veteran mechanic.

"What they are trying to say Mr. Uribitake is that we are proud of you for getting so far…" Ruri started, but the captain's background notes about 'unfair' and 'Akito (well, mostly Akito) were getting the navigator towards the 'I' word.

"CAPTAIN!"

She may be a Mihoshi equivilent, but at least the captain knew when to shut up.

"We'll see you soon. Take care!" Megumi said, as the message went off.

Seiya sighed. "I guess I missed being back there more than I thought…"

Ryoko shook her head, but grabbed his arm anyway.

"Hey, what the…"

"Sheesh…just call it a feeling of good will. Come on Seiya, good food doesn't wait for no man or no woman. Tenkawa, hop to it!"

"Yes ma'am…" Akito said. He hadn't been too welcome after the whole Iron Chef incident, so he wasn't ready to go back there. Whilst Kasumi and Shinobu were fine, his old friend Lita wasn't as fond anymore and Chi-chi…well, she'd been on the worst case ever since Goten was eliminated.

Things couldn't get much worse…could it?

* * * *

Zoe and JP were walking back to their room and saw Tommy coming up around the corner. They waved and Tommy approached them. Little did they know that things were about to get worse.

"Let's just hope he's not messed up today," JP whispered.

"Hey, Zoe? We're really good friends, right?" Tommy said.

"Uh... sure!" Zoe smiled. There seemed to be nothing disturbing about that question.

"Great!" Tommy made it disturbing. "Want to go to a love hotel?"

Zoe immediately blushed and reared back. "What kind of video game involves asking girls to go to a love hotel?!" she shouted.

JP bashfully twiddled his thumbs. "Oh... I've played a few like that," he admitted. Unfortunately, JP was never able to score with the catgirl.

* * * *

That's the end of this rather long Side Story session. With the next chap of AS5 still a fair bit away, should be plenty of time for more and more scenes for the next couple of days.

Until next time!