Chapter 10, sorry but it's a short & miserable one. Poor Remus, I'm starting to feel sorry for him now! What have I done to him!?

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Chapter 10 : Pictures Of The Past

The small room was cloaked in darkness. The heavy, velvet curtains that hung tightly at the windows blocked out the silver moonlight that illuminated the sky outside. Remus Lupin sat alone on a small rocking chair in the corner of the room, a single candle burned at his side.

It had been three hours since Sirius had put Harry to bed. In those three hours Remus hadn't slept a wink. He hadn't even bothered to try, his bed stood completely untouched, exactly how it had been since he had made it that morning.

Five o' clock, the hours continued to drag on. Remus wanted them to; he wished that sunrise would never come. He was safe here in his room, away from the school, away from Harry's guilt-laying eyes.

Poor Harry, he had not deserved this.

'How could I have been so stupid?' he thought 'How could I have let this happen? It was never supposed to end this way; Harry wasn't supposed to find out - ever'

Why?

Remus remembered the day Dumbledore had presented him with the Pensieve- a gift for taking up the offer of a job after much reluctance. He had been unsure, wary of trusting the device for much time. Was it safe? Was it a good idea entrusting such a dangerous memory to an enchanted device? How could it not be? The Pensieve was to be stored in Dumbledore's office, the safest place in the wizarding world; no one would find it there.

No one was supposed to find it there.

 After a lot of consideration Remus had finally decided to use the device, not because he thought it was a good idea but out of pure cowardice. The memory of Sonny's death had haunted him for sixteen years. Not a day had gone by when he had not thought about her and what had happened, he couldn't bear it. The Pensieve, for him, had been almost a way out. With the memory stored away it did not concern him so much, some days he would not think of it at all and his conscience had cleared almost completely. It was bliss; he could finally remember the happy times he had shared with Sonny without the overshadowing guilt of her death.

It was beginning to grow cold in the small room. Remus stood up and went over to his bed. He pulled the covers from his mattress and took them over to the chair. He went back to the bed and pushed his hand under the tattered mattress.

It was there, right where he had left it.

 He pulled it out and stared down at the large, golden book. Sitting back down he pulled the blanket up around his chest allowing his arms to remain free to examine his find.

The book was the size of an atlas and twice as thick, emblazoned upon the shiny cover were the words 'Summer Holidays- 1970 – 1975'.

It was a photo album.

The year he had joined Hogwarts, Remus's parents had presented him with his first wizards' camera, an old Lightning Flash 20. It was a second hand camera and a bit tatty but it was all his parents could afford and because of that Remus had cherished it. At Hogwarts he had spent his first few weeks taking pictures of the castle but, after a while, the novelty of the building wore off and the camera went unused. That was until the summer of 1970, the first summer he spent at the Potters house, it was then that he had began to keep this album.

The Potters house was a novelty for Remus, they were very rich unlike his family and he had been amazed at all of the wonderful things they had owned. Sirius and Peter would also visit the Potters house every summer although Peter was never allowed to stay for long.

They were great days; days that cameras were invented for. Remus would drive everyone mad taking pictures of everything he saw. During the day James and Sirius would fly off to play Quidditch and Remus would watch with young Sonny. Sonny loved attention and liked nothing more than to have her picture taken, which was why most of the pictures Remus took were of her.

Lupin slowly and carefully pulled back the album's worn cover. The first pictures he had taken were now old and yellowing but beautiful none the less.

There she was, in the very first picture.

She must have been nine years old when that picture was taken but she was pretty none the less. James and Sirius often teased Remus over his fixation for the child but they were wrong, his relationship with the girl was not an inappropriate one, he just cared for her. She was always a quiet girl, very sensitive. She did not make friends easily, which is why Remus liked to spend time with her. He was not in love with her he simply wanted to protect her.

Flicking through the pages Remus almost forgot his sorrow; these were wonderful days, the best of his life. He looked fondly upon the various snaps; pictures of James de-gnoming his garden, pictures of Sirius up to no good but he did have one particular favourite. It was still there underneath it's plastic cover, enchanted heavily to protect it from damage. It must have been 1975, one year before the Marauders graduation. Remus could remember the day that this photo had been taken; it was the day in which James had first introduced Lily to his parents, four years before their marriage. It had been an extremely hot summers day and the Potter family had held a huge garden party for Sirius's birthday, wizards from all around had attended. Mrs Potter had seen Remus and Sonny talking in a corner and had offered to take a snap of them with Lupin's ever-present camera. She looked so lovely, fourteen she must have been, her long dark hair shined in the sunlight, she looked so happy, they both did.

Remus snapped the album shut. That was enough - he couldn't look anymore. He sat in complete silence for another hour. He stirred only when a loud knock sounded on his door. It was Sirius.

'Hi' Black said letting himself in, worry spread over his face when he saw his friend sitting up. 'Moony, you haven't been sitting there all night have you?'

Lupin did not reply, confirming his friend's suspicions. Sirius looked sadly upon his friend. He noticed the album for the first time as it sparkled in the candlelight. Bending over he picked it up.

'God you spent years making this.' He remembered fondly.' I remember how long you saved up to buy this book. You're lucky you know, to have this. I wish I had more to remember her by.'

'You shouldn't have to have reminders. She should still be here.' Lupin snapped his face growing pink. 'She would be if it were not for me.'

'You weren't to blame! You know that! How many times do I have to tell you?' Sirius told his friend.

'That's not what you used to think' Remus remembered miserably.

Sirius's face fell. He knew exactly what his friend was talking about. He, like Harry, had been less than sympathetic towards Remus initially. To say he had made life unpleasant for his friend was an understatement. After the fateful event he had shown support for Remus, even lied for him but this had all changed after the funeral. This had been an awakening for Sirius. Watching her body being lowered into the ground was like a sudden realisation. She really was gone. She would never be seen again. He had taken it out on his friend, blamed him as Harry now did. He had been wrong; he had allowed his own selfish feelings towards the girl ruin one of his most cherished friendships. He had been keen on Sonny maybe even loved her but his simple  feelings were not worth loosing a friend over, not when nothing could be done about them.

' Yes but Remus I was wrong. I was jealous. Jealous of the bond you had with her, jealous because I had never been a part of her life in the way that you had. Remus she adored you and no matter what I did I could never equal you in her eyes. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself, she would want you to carry on and to make peace with her nephew.'

Lupin could deny that this was true. Sonny would never want to see him hurt because of her. It was time that he laid his ghosts to rest. Harry however was a different matter altogether.

'Look.' Sirius spoke again 'I just came to tell you that I am leaving Hogwarts tonight. Dumbledore has authorised my release papers, the Ministry have put out word of my release so I should have no problems returning back into the wizarding world. You know, I'd be really happy if you and Harry could get this sorted out before I go. I was about to go and tell him of my release before anyone else steals my pleasure. I think it would be good if you came too. We could talk to him together, set you on the right tracks whilst I am still around.'

Remus nodded. Dragging himself to his feet he set of with his friend to find Harry. He had terrible misgivings about this meeting. Hopefully Harry would be as forgiving as Sirius had been. He couldn't bear to lose the relationship he had already established with the boy. He crossed his fingers behind his back, knowing he would need all of the luck he could get.

 A/N I'm really crap at maths so if the dates in this chapter don't add up don't blame me it is my stupidity's fault. I dunno why but people seem to be of the opinion that Marauders graduated in '76 so I worked off that and the assumption that James died in '81, if anyone knows any better please let me know.