Thank you for your reviews (and puppy-dog-eyed pleading) but you'll just have to wait and see won't you? You didn't seriously think I'd just tell you what's going to happen?
Luna Elentari: Thank you for reviewing all my chapters but how did you know!? You're one of those cursed seer's aren't you! In reply to your question about James knowing what Remus did the answer is no. Like I said in Chapter 9 no one but Sirius, and now Harry ever found out.
Hermione 'DB' Ok, ok I'm sorry bout the maths (I hate it just as much!) but I thought it was important to get the story in perspective time-wise. Glad you spotted the R/J- R/H parallel, I'd just been studying 'Wuthering Height' and was trying to be clever.
Wintermoon: Stop making that face, it gets me everytime!
Chapter 12: Reflection and Realisation
SLAMThe Fat Lady swung shut just before Harry reached it.
'Weird', Harry thought, 'I'm sure all of the Gryffindor's have lessons now.'
Dismissively blaming the slammed portrait on Mrs. Norris Harry made his own way out of the tower with Hermione hot on his heels.
'Harry, no! You can't be serious! You could get Lupin sacked!' She wailed.
Harry, who suffered badly from selective deafness, carried on walking briskly across the corridors in search of Ron. 'Surely he should be around here somewhere; he's just left the dungeon so he can't be far.'
'Looking for something brave sir!' a recognisable voice bellowed as the two friends pushed along the busy hallways.
'Shut up Cadogan!' Harry snapped at the nearby portrait of the old, slightly insane knight.
'Scurvy Cur!' The painting scolded, pushing forth his armoured chest in self-importance 'Sir Cadogan will not take such impudence! I challenge thee to a dual!'
'No, really that's not necessary' Hermione smiled sweetly. 'Harry didn't mean to offend. We are just looking for our friend Ron Weasley. Have you seen him?'
'A quest!' Cadogan yelled boldly, then looking at Hermione 'Fair Damsel I will gladly assist.'
The knight straightened his chain mail and if Harry wasn't mistaken there was definitely had an amorous glint in his eye as he smiled stupidly at the girl.
'I saw the man in question leave Gryffindor Tower some five minutes ago.' Sir Cadogan continued. 'I was visiting the Fat Lady you see. Came storming out, he did. The mangy knave knocked me from my pony!'
A look of shock spread across Hermione's face. She turned to Harry with a look of venom I her eyes.
'He heard us!' she hissed 'You stupid idiot, he heard!'
'Good' Harry said nonchalantly as he stalked off towards the common room.
'Do you know where he went?' Hermione demanded of the knight.
'He muttered something of 'Hagrid knowing'' the knighted portrait replied.
'Oh god' Hermione thought ' Oh god, don't let him tell Hagrid.'
Hermione ran as fast as her legs would carry her across the courtyard towards the groundskeepers hut. Pushing past first-years and cursing at a Ravenclaw who crossed her path she arrived at Hagrids Hut to find Ron sitting outside.
The boy saw her coming. He looked so fragile, so very pale. His blue eyes stared around in bewilderment as if he didn't know where he was.
'Hagrids out.' He told his friend as she sat down by his side.
'You know that's not why I've come.' Hermione told him matter-of -factly. 'You heard what Harry told me didn't you.'
'I only came to tell you that we had Potions; I thought maybe you didn't know. I was about to come in and tell you but I heard Harry talking about my Auntie Nelly. I was surprised, mum never lets us talk about her, I just wanted to find out what he knew and then….'
Ron trailed off sadly.
Hermione put a comforting arm on his shoulder.
'It wasn't your aunts fault.' She told him softly. 'It wasn't Lupin's either so don't go reacting like Harry has.'
'But surely, if my aunt had known Malus was innocent, she wouldn't have wanted to die.' Ron protested in his aunt's defence 'She just thought he had a mental illness didn't she? She didn't know he was a Death Eater?'
'I can't answer that Ron.' Hermione replied diplomatically. 'But from what I know of your family, your mother, I don't believe for a second that Nelly did know. Ok, so she was a Slytherin, but not all Slytherin's are Death Eaters. She just fell in love with the wrong man.'
Ron smiled weakly.
'Grandma used to talk about Nelly sometimes, said she was a bad seed. 'The black sheep of the family', she used to say. My family didn't like her, only mum because they were sisters, now even she doesn't want to remember. I haven't lost anything Hermione, not like Harry has, I just…' He sighed heavily, searching for the words. 'I thought I knew them, my parents. I thought I knew my history. No wonder Malfoy sneers at our family, I bet he knows. I bet he loves having that hanging over me. A Slythrerin aunt, a Death Eater uncle, I bet he nearly wet himself laughing when he found out.'
'Forget Malfoy.' Hermione told him 'He might not even know, well I suppose it is likely with his father and everything but that's not what's important. You are. You and Harry and Lupin, you need to talk to each other about this.'
Ron nodded feebly. 'Yeah we'll go and find Harry, I want to send an owl to mum too. I have to tell her that I know about Nelly, I have to ask her to tell me the truth and Fred and George deserve to know. I wonder if Bill and Charlie have been told, and Percy too.'
'Come on' Hermione gently pulled Ron to his feet. She had to smile, all of that time she'd had her arm on Ron's shoulder and he hadn't even noticed.
Ron pulled a tatty piece of paper from out of his robes. Hermione recognised it at once as the Marauders Map.
'I got it from Harry at the Great Feast' he explained ' I was going to sneak into the kitchens, get us a bit of food, I thought Harry might want a celebration for Sirius.'
Ron unfolded the map carefully.
'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.'
Thin inky lines began to spread across the page revealing that Harry was now on his way up to the third floor.
'Weird' Hermione thought 'There's nothing but empty rooms up there.'
The two friends made their way up the troublesome staircases and finally caught up with Harry in a room on the third floor. The room was now a bedroom. As it hadn't been the year before Hermione concluded that it must have been recently converted for Professor Lupin's use.
'Where the hell is he!' Harry yelled, slight insanity gleaming in his eyes as he glared wildly around the room.
'Harry you have to get out of here.' Hermione sounded worried. ' You'll get us into trouble - this is a teachers room. How did you know?'
'It's the room I visited in the memory.' Harry told her 'The one with all of the tricks n stuff, I guessed he'd want to be in here with Sirius's old stuff.'
Harry scanned the room carefully. The small, neat bed, the rocking chair in the corner and the tattered wooden wardrobe. Lupin certainly didn't have much. After thirty-seven years of life this was all Remus Lupin had to call his own, tattered furniture and a few old robes.
A large golden book left lying upon the rocking chair caught Harry's eye. Curiously he picked it up.
'Summer Holidays 1970-1975' he read aloud.
Opening it up he realised what this book was used for.
'It's a photo album' He told his friends.
Curiosity got the better of him. He sat down on the old bed and began to flick through the pages.
'Harry, come on!' Hermione became panicky 'What if someone comes?'
'It's ok we've got the Marauders Map. Give us a look!' Ron slumped down next to Harry, happy to put his sadness aside for a quick laugh at Lupin's old hairdo.
'That's Sonny.' Harry whispered ' She looks like she's only a kid.'
He continued to leaf through the album examining each photo carefully.
That's when he saw it, carefully bound in a plastic cover, it was the photograph taken at Sirius's party.
'Harry' Ron whispered but his friend did not reply.
Instead the boy sat mesmerised, tracing the picture with his fingers. It looked so beautiful. His aunt and Remus, they looked so happy together, out in the sun with not a care in the world. They smiled widely out at him winking and raising the glasses they held in their hands. The wind blew slightly ruffling their hair. She looked so pretty in her red, silky robes. If he hadn't known any better Harry would have thought they were a couple, they looked so close - so very fond of each other.
Ron looked at the picture over Harry's shoulder as the young wizard continued to study the scene.
'Harry.' Ron finally snapped his friend back to reality but he didn't have to say a word.
Harry knew.
He knew what this meant; he could see what it showed.
Friendship.
Realisation overcame him as he scanned the image.
They were friends, always had been and always would be.
He couldn't blame Remus, he even hadn't wanted to. He had just wanted to blame someone.
His aunt had been taken from him by accident but he couldn't see that, he had wanted to pin the blame and Remus had been a convenient scapegoat. He hadn't been upset, he had been angry selfish. He had lost an aunt that he had never known but Remus had lost a cherished friend, had grieved for sixteen years over a young girl he had loved deeply. Harry was simply grieving for the life she could have provided for him.
'I know.' Harry whispered 'I've been so stupid. I was wrong. Ron are you ok?'
'Yeah' his friend answered ' Like I was telling Hermione, I never knew Nelly.'
'Like I never knew Sonny.' Harry replied 'But we know Remus and we know he would never harm a hair on anyone's head.'
Hermione grinned brightly 'I knew you'd come around. I'm so proud of you Harry. What you witnessed last night was horrifying but you have realised that there are people who have been hurt more deeply by that event than you. It takes a lot to put someone else's feelings before your own.'
'Now' she continued with a more cheery tone. 'Seeing that you have stopped being an idiot we have a lunch to go to. God Harry we've missed a whole days lessons because of your shenanigans!'
Harry gave her a playful slap across the cheek.
'Hey, you' she laughed 'Well, I suppose I'll let you off just this once. So what are you going to do about Remus?'
Harry smiled 'Wouldn't you like to know?'