Warning angst meter goes up near the end of this chapter (and will probably
stay there for quite awhile). For all the fanatics, you know who you are,
(like me ;)) this chapter is for you!
The Choices We Make
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Chapter 13 When Despair Destroys Hope
The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
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Nadina gave a delightful chuckle as the elf collapse to the ground. 'Ah, that was fun,' she giggled to herself, 'but too short.' Oh, well. She risked killing the elf if she held him any longer. He would already be quite miserable when he woke as it was. An evil lopsided grin formed on her delicate face at that thought as the rest of her form coalesced into its translucent shape.
"What did you do to him?"
She looked up into Jeridan's wide eyes as Grimnosh and he rode forward.
"Don't worry my dear Jeridan, he still lives."
Jeridan closed his gaping mouth in response and shuddered. He was just grateful that it was not he that lay there.
Nadina made eye contact with the orc as Jeridan and he slid off of the wargs and nodded her head in the direction of the crumpled ranger. "Was that really necessary?"
A malicious grin broke out on the burly orc's face and he simple shrugged in response to the ghostly woman's question. He met her gaze with one that asked if her actions had been necessary and challenged her to say anything about his.
"Is he alive?"
Grimnosh nodded once again.
She turned to Jeridan and hissed, "Well?"
Jeridan looked puzzled. "Well what?"
"Go look to your flock and the human," she responded irritably.
Jeridan hated being dismissed like he was a child and scowled at her as he turned and walked away.
When the human was out of earshot she turned back to the orc.
"You could have killed him!"
Grimnosh pointedly looked down at the still form of the elf, "So could have yous, but I did not."
"Yes, but I knew the outcome of my actions. You on the other hand where playing with luck."
Grimnosh was growing bored with this conversation and changed the subject, "Now what?"
Nadina gave the orc one last irritated glance and let it drop. Arguing with an orc was about as effective as trying to open a door with no hinges anyway. She then closed her eyes and after a moment nodded. She opened them again and spoke, "We head for the tower."
Grimnosh already guessing the answer nodded in understanding. He turned around to head over to the rest of his orcs. Some of the wondering misfits from the previous night had found the small band and were listening lustfully to what had happened and especially at how their leader had smashed the weakling human into a tree. Before Grimnosh had walked more than two steps away Nadina called out to him and he turned around.
"I know all to well that captured elves are an orcs favorite play thing, but our Lord wants this one alive. Make sure you stress the fact that neither the elf nor the human are to be played with overly much, or they will suffer the consequences."
After voicing her warning Nadina's form melted away like the wind and she vanished. Grimnosh knew she would be watching, though. He didn't need to ask what the consequences would be or who would extract the payment.
*****
Grimnosh walked over to the flattened Nakash as two orcs were peeling him off the ground. Nakash had been the unlucky orc to get pounded into the dirt as his warg rolled on top of him. 'Stupid humans,' he thought warily. He stood up shakily and saw Grimnosh coming towards him with a scowl on his face, which wasn't unusual, but this was one of his annoyed scowls. 'Why me?'
"Nakash! Gets everyone together you can find and prepares to head for the tower."
"But..."
Grimnosh cut him off with a growl and stomped away toward Jeridan who was kneeling over the unconscious human.
"Well?"
Jeridan looked up at the burly orc in exasperation.
"I'm not a healer!" he snapped.
At Grimnosh's deepening scowl he added, "He's alive, but I know not what else."
He looked down at the young human. Half of his face was already turning purple as an ugly bruise started to swell, which stood out in contrast on his pale face. He couldn't tell if anything was broken by just looking at the human and personally he didn't care as long as he would live. He glanced to the side to see two of his orcs hovering over the elf and his eyes narrowed as he yelled at them.
"You twos leave that elf be! That goes for everyone of yous!" he bellowed as he glowered at them all.
The two orcs looked disappointed, but didn't dare to argue with their leader, especially when he was in one of those moods.
Grimnosh looked down at Jeridan, "Tie him up and throw him over one of the wargs, I'll go see to the elf."
He didn't trust most of the others to simple bind the elf. After so many years of trying to kill these bothersome elves how ironic it was to now have to protect the horrid thing from his kin. There was no way he was going to go back to that tower without him, though. If Valdumus wanted an elf for a trophy then he was going to get one. Grimnosh watched threw narrowed eyes as the two orcs retrieved rope and came back to the elf. The elf was lying on his back and the orcs started to bind the elf's hands in front him. This movement elicited a groan from the fair-haired being and the two jumped in surprise. The elf began to stir and they hurriedly bound his hands tightly. One of them looked up at Grimnosh with excited eyes.
"Looks as though the elfsie's waking up boss."
Grimnosh squashed their hope immediately, "Good, then he can walk!"
Grimnosh saw Nakash limp into the area followed by a half a dozen more of his kin.
"Gets everyone ready to move and put that human up on one of the wargs."
Nakash could do nothing but sigh. That human was the cause of his limp and now he had to cart him around. The only pleasing thought was the fact that the stupid mongrel he had been forced to ride was killed in the fight. Nakash smiled.
*****
Voices drifted into Legolas' awareness. They sounded rough and guttural. Where was he? What had happened? As Legolas urged his mind through the white mist toward the voices, little by little feeling started to return to his body and the most prominent one was the coldness. Aiya, it was cold. All Legolas wanted to do was curl up into a warm ball and drift back into the darkness. He became panicked when he noticed his body would not respond to this command. Fear gripped him as his mind struggled to make sense of what was going on. Legolas fought with his lead-weighted eyelids and slowly he managed to pry them open.
The first blurry thing he saw was a blackened forest of something. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom he noticed that it was the grass he was staring at. He must be face down. That would explain why he couldn't curl up. Legolas tried to move his arms into place to lift himself up, but they stubbornly wouldn't move. It took awhile for his frozen mind to realize that his hands were tied and that was why he couldn't move them. This sudden enlightenment brought him out of his numbness and his head shot up. Before he could comprehend what was going on he was roughly pulled up to his knees and a face appeared right in front of him. The quick switch in views made his head spin and he had to blink several times to get the face to come into focus.
Grimnosh saw the elf's head fall forward when he was picked up and he shook him to keep him awake. He might have to bring this elf back in one piece, but he didn't have to like it. He waited for the elf's tired gaze to fall on him again before he spoke.
"Gets up and walk elf or you will be dragged. Try anything and I will takes it out on your human."
Legolas felt movement at around his head, but didn't have the strength to care what they were doing. The mention of his 'human,' though, brought Legolas out of his daze. All the memories of what had happened came flooding back. Aragorn, what had happened to Aragorn? Retribution couldn't be taken out of him if he were dead, so the ranger must still be alive. Despite the knowledge that they had been captured by orcs Legolas couldn't help the relief he felt that his friend was still alive.
Legolas was hauled to his feet and stood there swaying. The act of trying to stand was hard enough and he wondered how far he could manage to walk. As he was roughly pulled forward it didn't seem like he had much of a choice and the image of him getting dragged behind a warg was not a pleasant one. The movement felt strange and he looked down to see a rope around his neck. Anger built up in him as he realizes they meant to lead him around like a pack mule. Legolas looked to the orc who had spoken to him and who now held his leash with blue fire eyes. They blazed even more when he recognized this orc to be the one that had run Aragorn into the tree.
Grimnosh saw the look of defiance in the elf's eyes after he noticed the rope. Did elves always have to be so difficult? After a moment his eyes took on an intensity that almost made the large orc take a step back. Except for one being he'd never seen that much anger in another eyes before. Had he not been supposed to bring the elf back, this one would have been one he would not have taken a chance with as a prisoner. He would have killed him here and now. For the first time ever Grimnosh started to feel doubt. Like all of his kin Grimnosh had never been blessed with the gift of foresight, but he was suddenly doubtful about trying control this prisoner. And he was, was it...fear? When a misty shape started to silently form behind the faintly glowing form of the elf Grimnosh smiled. His confidence came back as he was reminded that he had help in this task.
Legolas couldn't hide the anger he felt and he saw doubt flicker in the orc's eyes. He was surprised when it faded quickly and the foul thing actually started to grin. Legolas was entertaining thoughts involving the orc's head and several different weapons when a deceivingly gentle voice broke into them.
"You don't listen to well do you?" it purred into his ear.
The whole side of his face went numb and a deep shudder ran down his spin at the overwhelming evil. Legolas wheeled around and his eyes went big when he saw a spectral form floating in front of him. When he turned it brought his face around right in front of hers. There was something familiar about this woman, err...ghost, whatever she was. Something very familiar, but he just could place it. Legolas saw the hunger in her eyes and with a sickening feeling he realized it was directed towards him. He unconsciously took a step back from the being in front of him.
"What's the matter master elf? Not afraid of me are you?"
He saw the delight in her eyes as she said that and had to admit to himself that, yes, there was something about her that frightened him. He decided he would never allow her to know this fact and he steeled his eyes and posture. The ghostly woman raised a delicate eyebrow up questioningly.
"Very well. You still didn't answer my question, though."
It was Legolas' turn to arch his eyebrow in confusion.
"I said you don't listen to well do you?"
Finding his voice for the first time Legolas spoke up, "And just what was I supposed to have heard?"
"I do believe our dear Grimnosh there," she said indicating the orc Legolas had been glaring down a minute ago, "told you to walk or the ranger would pay the penalty and I told you before that such disobedient thoughts were not a good idea."
Legolas' eyes widened at that. It had been her he had heard before he blacked out. 'At least I wasn't hearing voices,' he thought dryly.
Then realization dawned on him again. The cold touch on his ear a moment ago was familiar. It was what he felt before he blacked out earlier, he had felt the same touch in the woods during the warg battle, and he had first felt it when he was on watch before they even entered these woods. She was the reason for his feeling of being watched all those times. She had been watching them before they even entered the woods! She even knew the awful Grimnosh creature's name. She probably knew that the swarm of orcs was heading there way two days ago and that could only mean one thing. Aragorn and he were driven in here purposely. They had run straight into a trap!
The whole realization that they were indeed herded here and trapped made Legolas weak in the knees. He shut his eyes as crushing despair washed threw him. They never really had any hope of escaping. They had been fooling themselves. His fate was sealed the first step he took into the forest. He had control over nothing!
Legolas' breathing became heavy and he dropped to his knees. Grimnosh went to jerk the elf back up, but Nadina called for him to stop. He looked from the struggling elf to Nadina. She had her brilliant smile on and looked positively delighted. He stared at her in confusion having no idea what was happening. Nadina looked over and saw the confusion written all over Grimnosh's face and sighed, or at lest went through the motion.
"Our master is at work. Do not touch him until I tell you!"
Grimnosh nodded his understanding, dropped the rope, and backed away a little. He motioned for the rest of the orcs to back away as well. Nadina's translucent body kneeled down and she floated in close to the kneeling elf's ear. His head was bowed down and his golden hair fell in a curtain over his face.
*****
The darkness around Legolas spirit seemed to deepen with his despair. A voice in the back of his mind told him he should stop this dangerous line of thought before it was too late, but he was unable to halt its momentum. It was his fault Aragorn and he were in this situation after all. He was in the lead when they had fled from the orcs, so he had ultimately led them here. When he had felt a warning about entering these woods he should have insisted they take to the mountains or to the open land that lay to the west. If it had not been for him slowing them down they could have escaped earlier today when the sun still shone. They might have even had a slim chance of leaving tonight if he had not led them towards the warg riders. 'Stupid fool,' he cursed himself again for that. This was it. There was no hope left for them now and it was all because of him.
The familiar coldness began to build inside Legolas and creep down his arms. He took no notice if it. His breathing became shallow and quick, but still he paid it no heed. He was too wrapped up in his dark line of reasoning to notice. It was entirely his fault and now Aragorn would pay the price for Legolas' mistakes. He will die. No! He would find a way for the ranger to escape. There had to be one. It didn't matter anymore if he died, but Estel would go free.
Suddenly the numbness Legolas had been ignoring flared into pain. Crushing pain seared down his entire body and every muscle tensed in response. Blackness reached out to permeate his soul and icy tendrils curled around his mind. It felt like he was encased in ice. He could no longer move or think clearly.
A strange feeling spread through him and made him lightheaded. His eyes opened of their own accord and his head came up. He saw everything, but it was distant and detached somehow. His body straightened itself and he looked into the spectral face hovering in front of his. He blinked slowly trying to figure out who this was and why he could see through her. Did he know this being? Rise Legolas slowly rose to his feet and stood there waiting for what he was supposed to do.
*****
Nadina waited impatiently as she watched the elf struggling. Foolish elf. It would be much easier on him if he would just stop fighting. She knew this from personnel experience, she remembered almost regretfully. She tensed, figuratively, in excitement along with the elf. It was hard to see through the gold curtain, oh how she would like to be able to feel it, but she could see all of the color drain from his fair face and his eyes scrunch tightly in pain. 'Disobedient thought,' she smirked with pleasure. 'He will learn soon enough.' Of course, knowing how stubborn elves were he might not and die painfully for his resilience. When Nadina saw the elf look up at her and straighten she almost flew around in delight. He stared at her with expressionless eyes and slowly stood up. 'So much for stubbornness,' she chuckled. Nadina looked over at Grimnosh and motioned with her delicate arm for him to come closer.
Grimnosh approached the pair hesitantly and looked from one to the other. The ghostly vixen positively glowed. Speaking of glowing as Grimnosh upon closer inspection he noticed that the elf was barely glowing anymore.
"It is alright Grimnosh, pick up the rope."
Grimnosh glanced at the elf's vacant eyes. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew who was causing it, so he shrugged and picked up the rope.
****
Legolas didn't recognize anyone or remember where he was. At the moment, though, none of this seemed strange. It felt like this was always how it was. Things had never been any different. A burly orc walked over to the see through lady and picked up the rope tied around his neck. Follow said the comforting voice. It really as a very nice voice Legolas decided. It knew what was best, so he would listen. He could feel the evil emanating from the voice and for that matter from the lady in front of him, but it didn't matter. After all, wasn't he the same?
*****
Grimnosh was surprised when he tugged on the rope and the elf followed without complaint. When he had tried this before the elf looked like he wanted to hang Grimnosh with the rope around his neck. 'This is more like it!' Why couldn't all prisoners be this way? Grimnosh led the elf passed the gawking orcs over to the gawking Jeridan.
"Well, are we's ready?"
To stunned to form any coherent words Jeridan simply nodded in response. Grimnosh snorted in contempt and ordered everyone to move. He and the elf fell in line near the end behind Jeridan and Radoc. He figured Radoc must have finally gotten fed up with the human riding him because instead of mounted he was walking next to the warg.
*****
They had only been walking for twenty minutes when what sounded like a bark rang out from ahead. Grimnosh let out an irritated growl, for he didn't need to see what was going on to know who had caused it. That's it, he was going to kill one of them!
Jeridan's eyes went wide when Grimnosh handed him the rope attached to the elf.
"Holds this and don't wonder off. And leaves him be! This better not be one of yous wargs fault!" Grimnosh stomped away.
Jeridan looked nervously at the elf. He had killed four of the pack by himself already. Well how hard could this task really be? After all, the elf was in some sort of stupor. As Jeridan looked at the hapless being he couldn't help himself.
"Not so stubborn now are we?" he chuckled.
"See, even elves can be taught to behave. I suppose your friend will have to learn the same lesson when he wakes up. Oh pardon me, I should say if he wakes up. The ranger had a pretty hard meeting with the tree. I know, I was right there. I think I surprised him you know? I don't think he was expecting to see a human riding a warg, so the fool wouldn't strike me. If he lives I think he might have learned his lesson about hesitating."
****
Legolas stood there patiently as his orc stopped and then handed the rope to human they were following. He could hear the commotion up front before the warg let out the loud noise. It and the orc that was leading it were fighting. The orc was calling the warg all sorts of names while he dodged the wargs sharp teeth. Which made the orc yell even more as he tried to keep the warg from dumping the load it was carrying. Legolas' attention focused on the human when he started talking. He really wasn't paying much attention until the human said something about a ranger. He was under the impression the ranger was going to die. This sparked a flare of anger in the elf. He didn't know why, but the thought of the ranger being hurt made him angry. As the human went babbling on about the ranger Legolas' anger built up inside him. The angrier he got the more his mind cleared until he remembered. That ranger the human spoke so indifferently about was his friend. He was Aragorn, Elessar, Estel-his friend. Legolas still wasn't sure of where he was or why in the world he was being lead around on a leash, but he knew one thing. Aragorn was his friend and needed help. The human said something about feeding Aragorn to one of the wargs named Radoc. Legolas had heard enough to become furious and he snapped out of the compliant trance like state.
Jeridan was staring into the gloom in front of him as he talked. He couldn't see far enough to know what was going on, but he looked anyway. He turned back around and froze in mid sentence. The elf's eyes suddenly looked aware and very, very angry. As a matter of fact they burned with anger. But they were different somehow. They were no longer the blue he remembered them to be, they were almost black now.
In a swift motion too fast for the human to follow Legolas reached with his still bound hands, grabbed a hold of Jeridan's color, and jerked his head down to meet the elf's upraised knee. The human grunted in pain as his nose connected with Legolas' knee. The elf still gripping the human rammed him face first into a tree. 'How is that for running into trees?' he thought with some satisfaction. As Jeridan hit the tree Legolas continued his motion and circled face the stunned orc behind him. He snatched the sword from the creature's side and hit it in the face with the hilt in one quick motion. The orc fell backwards next to the downed human. Legolas quickly cut the rope around his wrist before any of the numerous orcs up front noticed what was happening. Unsure of where to go Legolas guessed his friend must be somewhere in front of him. Huge number of orcs or not he darted forward only to be stopped as an unusually large warg turned to face him with its teeth bared. He circled the beast cautiously waiting for it to make the first lung. He was surprised when it didn't strike at him.
*****
"I'm sick of all of yous. Nakash cause anymore trouble an I'll cleaves yous head right off. And you," he turned on the warg carrying Aragorn, "one more time mutt and I lets her have you!" Grimnosh pointed to Nadina who had come to the front to see what was going on.
Just when things were under control here alarmed shout sounded from the back of the line. Grimnosh growled even louder.
"Bungling human!"
*****
Legolas didn't have time stare down this warg all night, so he decided to make the first move. He brought the awkward weapon in position to move in and strike quickly. He succeeded in taking the first step towards the beast when a sharp pain in his chest made him stumble. He realized as he saw ghostly hand touching his chest that it was the cold causing such pain. A white mist wrapped up to envelop him and everything became numb. His lungs froze in place and he couldn't breath. The white mist in his vision quickly lifted and he dropped to his knees shivering and gulping in air. Almost immediately after he fell to the ground he was harshly lifted into the air and slammed against a tree. Legolas was being held against the tree by the neck and his air supply was cut off once again. He looked down into the snarling face of an orc. Black dots started to play across his vision and he grew lightheaded. He tried to pry the cruel hands away from his throat, but he had not the strength left. He heard a voice from somewhere far away.
"Put him, or Lord Valdumus will have your head."
The dark spots were spreading into a solid wall dimming the world around Legolas and his hands devoid of feeling slid numbly from his capture's wrist.
"Put him down! Now or you will not have a hands left in which to hold him!"
Grimnosh threw the elf to the ground just as his eyes were starting to roll back in his head. He hated backing down at anyone's command, but the prospect of having his hands ate off wasn't pretty and he knew Nadina could do it.
Legolas head a dull thud. It took a moment for his oxygen-starved brain to figure out what had happened. Once he realized he could inhale air once more he raggedly sucked in air as he coughed. His throat felt raw making it hurt to breathe. Right now, though, he welcomed the pain as long as he could force air into his lungs.
Grimnosh kneeled over the elf and personally bound his hands this time in the back. He realized he should have done this to begin with because, obviously, he could still hit someone with his hands in front. He bound them so tight that there was no chance the stupid elf could even wiggle or shift his hands.
Things were starting to come back into to focus and Legolas could feel his hands again. Which were being harshly bound behind his back right now. Legolas painfully swallowed which only caused a short coughing fit. He was hauled to his feet and said a silent 'thank you' to the Valar that it was by his shoulders and not by the neck. Grimnosh pulled the elf's face in close to his by the rope around his neck and Legolas almost thought he spoke to quickly.
"Listen carefully elf. I warned you before about trying anything. The only reason I'm nots going to takes it out on the human is because he wouldn't feels it right now and so wouldn't be any fun for me understand? Next time I'll punish the both of yous whether he's awake or not."
Grimnosh released the elf and turned away.
He looked around to see if everyone was there. The orc the elf had clobbered was piled on a warg and Jeridan, abate shakily, was standing again holding onto a warg for support. Nadina was floating close to the elf with her eyes narrowed glaring at him. She floated over to him and hovered beside him.
"It will be light soon and if I'm not mistaken you usually retreat during those hours. If you have a place in mind I would suggest you head for it," and with that Nadina whirled into a barely perceptible mist nd vanished into the gloom.
Grimnosh didn't know why, but even after all of the times she had ordered him around he still wasn't really angry with her. He shrugged in confusion. She was right. They had to get moving.
*****
Legolas was so tired he could barely stand up. He stumbled along trying to force himself, and only half succeeding, to keep aware of where they were. He eventually gave up on the idea when he needed all of his concentration just to put one foot in front of the other. Right now even the image of being dragged along by a warg didn't seem so bad. He was exhausted before the fight with the warg rider and he was beyond exhaustion now. The two times he had come into contact with the spectral vixen she had zapped away all of his energy. He was tired and bruised throat was parched. His breath still came out in rasps.
By the time they reached their destination it was approaching the sunrise. Grimnosh called everyone to a halt. Legolas forced his tired eyes to look up and wished he hadn't. They had to be joking!
They had traveled in closer to the mountains and in front of them was a set of caves. Caves! There was no way he was going to be able to stand the entire day cramped in a cave with orcs! After this horrendously long and dark night Legolas needed to see the light. Which he wasn't going to be able to do in a stuffy, dark cave. He felt a painful tug on his rope and glared at his capture. After his incident earlier Grimnosh had not taken anymore chances and led the elf personally the entire time since.
"Come on elf."
He was led to one of the entrances and he couldn't see anything in the black depths. The sky less night was enough and considering his problem with the dark earlier and his current stresses state Legolas didn't know if he could handle spending all day in there. He was going to go mad. Not that he wasn't already, but... Despair started to build inside Legolas again. He really needed to see light and now there was no hope left of that. He was going to remain in darkness forever.
Grimnosh saw the elf hesitating. 'That's right,' he thought, 'his kind cannot stand cave.' A malicious grin formed on his face at that pleasing thought.
Legolas was forcefully pushed into the entrance. With his hands tied and barely being able to stand he could do nothing about being forced in. He held his breath and his heart pounded in his ears as he was pushed inside the oppressive and light less chasm.
TBC...
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That wasn't so bad was it? The chapter originally went on for much longer, but I thought it might be getting too long. I mean, how much can one poor elf take in one chapter?
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Stephanie-Lou, goblz, and White Wolf - Thank you for putting this story on your favorite stories list! I sincerely apologize for not noticing it earlier. Thank you, Thank you! And please don't be angry *dodges thrown object*. Sorry! :)
Karri - I do admit that was an awful cliffie. I hope this wasn't too long of a wait. Did I already mention that I love your young Aragorn stories? They are adorable! I do hope you have more planned as I would like to read them. I am currently working on a short humorous fic-let with Elladan and Elrohir when they are young. Boy, can you imagine those two little? Poor Elrond and Celebrian! ;)
Sprout - I am glad you are finally armed. ;) And I'm pleased you like the last chapter! Ah, ah, the cliffie did its job. That one was supposed to be evil, muah, ah, ah! You don't have to beg; here it is, see? And I was nice at the end of this one! No cliffie! I thought I'd give everyone a little time to recover as we are drawing near the tower and we know what's there, dun, dun, dun. Well I guess you guys don't know exactly what's there and what's in store, but I do! *Shudders* *followed by an evil grin*
Lil'layah - That's good, because we seem to be heading in that direction. Thank you ever so much for reading and reviewing! Feel free to do it as often as you like! Oh, who am I kidding? Please, please, please review! *Begs*
Tithen Min - I suppose I might be afraid to read the next chapter, huh? Grr, every time I read about him I want to smack him and shake him to wake up! Anyway, I know, I trust you. Oh and by the way, since you said you do actually like him I thought I would tell you that Thranduil might just have a cameo in this story. Of course that is much, much later. So don't beat him around too much I need to borrow him. ;) Yes, I did decide to turn the stress levels back up a bit, after all this is a suspense story, it needs a little. This ending wasn't so bad though. And it takes an odd person to such an odd story! Muah, ah, ah, - sorry where did that come from? I think all of my bad guys are rubbing off on me, but there so fun to write. They are after all the comic relief. And lle creoso for the quote, I thought it would help! ;) Lissenen ar' maska' lalaith tenna' lye omentuva! //Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet//
The Choices We Make
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Chapter 13 When Despair Destroys Hope
The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
********
Nadina gave a delightful chuckle as the elf collapse to the ground. 'Ah, that was fun,' she giggled to herself, 'but too short.' Oh, well. She risked killing the elf if she held him any longer. He would already be quite miserable when he woke as it was. An evil lopsided grin formed on her delicate face at that thought as the rest of her form coalesced into its translucent shape.
"What did you do to him?"
She looked up into Jeridan's wide eyes as Grimnosh and he rode forward.
"Don't worry my dear Jeridan, he still lives."
Jeridan closed his gaping mouth in response and shuddered. He was just grateful that it was not he that lay there.
Nadina made eye contact with the orc as Jeridan and he slid off of the wargs and nodded her head in the direction of the crumpled ranger. "Was that really necessary?"
A malicious grin broke out on the burly orc's face and he simple shrugged in response to the ghostly woman's question. He met her gaze with one that asked if her actions had been necessary and challenged her to say anything about his.
"Is he alive?"
Grimnosh nodded once again.
She turned to Jeridan and hissed, "Well?"
Jeridan looked puzzled. "Well what?"
"Go look to your flock and the human," she responded irritably.
Jeridan hated being dismissed like he was a child and scowled at her as he turned and walked away.
When the human was out of earshot she turned back to the orc.
"You could have killed him!"
Grimnosh pointedly looked down at the still form of the elf, "So could have yous, but I did not."
"Yes, but I knew the outcome of my actions. You on the other hand where playing with luck."
Grimnosh was growing bored with this conversation and changed the subject, "Now what?"
Nadina gave the orc one last irritated glance and let it drop. Arguing with an orc was about as effective as trying to open a door with no hinges anyway. She then closed her eyes and after a moment nodded. She opened them again and spoke, "We head for the tower."
Grimnosh already guessing the answer nodded in understanding. He turned around to head over to the rest of his orcs. Some of the wondering misfits from the previous night had found the small band and were listening lustfully to what had happened and especially at how their leader had smashed the weakling human into a tree. Before Grimnosh had walked more than two steps away Nadina called out to him and he turned around.
"I know all to well that captured elves are an orcs favorite play thing, but our Lord wants this one alive. Make sure you stress the fact that neither the elf nor the human are to be played with overly much, or they will suffer the consequences."
After voicing her warning Nadina's form melted away like the wind and she vanished. Grimnosh knew she would be watching, though. He didn't need to ask what the consequences would be or who would extract the payment.
*****
Grimnosh walked over to the flattened Nakash as two orcs were peeling him off the ground. Nakash had been the unlucky orc to get pounded into the dirt as his warg rolled on top of him. 'Stupid humans,' he thought warily. He stood up shakily and saw Grimnosh coming towards him with a scowl on his face, which wasn't unusual, but this was one of his annoyed scowls. 'Why me?'
"Nakash! Gets everyone together you can find and prepares to head for the tower."
"But..."
Grimnosh cut him off with a growl and stomped away toward Jeridan who was kneeling over the unconscious human.
"Well?"
Jeridan looked up at the burly orc in exasperation.
"I'm not a healer!" he snapped.
At Grimnosh's deepening scowl he added, "He's alive, but I know not what else."
He looked down at the young human. Half of his face was already turning purple as an ugly bruise started to swell, which stood out in contrast on his pale face. He couldn't tell if anything was broken by just looking at the human and personally he didn't care as long as he would live. He glanced to the side to see two of his orcs hovering over the elf and his eyes narrowed as he yelled at them.
"You twos leave that elf be! That goes for everyone of yous!" he bellowed as he glowered at them all.
The two orcs looked disappointed, but didn't dare to argue with their leader, especially when he was in one of those moods.
Grimnosh looked down at Jeridan, "Tie him up and throw him over one of the wargs, I'll go see to the elf."
He didn't trust most of the others to simple bind the elf. After so many years of trying to kill these bothersome elves how ironic it was to now have to protect the horrid thing from his kin. There was no way he was going to go back to that tower without him, though. If Valdumus wanted an elf for a trophy then he was going to get one. Grimnosh watched threw narrowed eyes as the two orcs retrieved rope and came back to the elf. The elf was lying on his back and the orcs started to bind the elf's hands in front him. This movement elicited a groan from the fair-haired being and the two jumped in surprise. The elf began to stir and they hurriedly bound his hands tightly. One of them looked up at Grimnosh with excited eyes.
"Looks as though the elfsie's waking up boss."
Grimnosh squashed their hope immediately, "Good, then he can walk!"
Grimnosh saw Nakash limp into the area followed by a half a dozen more of his kin.
"Gets everyone ready to move and put that human up on one of the wargs."
Nakash could do nothing but sigh. That human was the cause of his limp and now he had to cart him around. The only pleasing thought was the fact that the stupid mongrel he had been forced to ride was killed in the fight. Nakash smiled.
*****
Voices drifted into Legolas' awareness. They sounded rough and guttural. Where was he? What had happened? As Legolas urged his mind through the white mist toward the voices, little by little feeling started to return to his body and the most prominent one was the coldness. Aiya, it was cold. All Legolas wanted to do was curl up into a warm ball and drift back into the darkness. He became panicked when he noticed his body would not respond to this command. Fear gripped him as his mind struggled to make sense of what was going on. Legolas fought with his lead-weighted eyelids and slowly he managed to pry them open.
The first blurry thing he saw was a blackened forest of something. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom he noticed that it was the grass he was staring at. He must be face down. That would explain why he couldn't curl up. Legolas tried to move his arms into place to lift himself up, but they stubbornly wouldn't move. It took awhile for his frozen mind to realize that his hands were tied and that was why he couldn't move them. This sudden enlightenment brought him out of his numbness and his head shot up. Before he could comprehend what was going on he was roughly pulled up to his knees and a face appeared right in front of him. The quick switch in views made his head spin and he had to blink several times to get the face to come into focus.
Grimnosh saw the elf's head fall forward when he was picked up and he shook him to keep him awake. He might have to bring this elf back in one piece, but he didn't have to like it. He waited for the elf's tired gaze to fall on him again before he spoke.
"Gets up and walk elf or you will be dragged. Try anything and I will takes it out on your human."
Legolas felt movement at around his head, but didn't have the strength to care what they were doing. The mention of his 'human,' though, brought Legolas out of his daze. All the memories of what had happened came flooding back. Aragorn, what had happened to Aragorn? Retribution couldn't be taken out of him if he were dead, so the ranger must still be alive. Despite the knowledge that they had been captured by orcs Legolas couldn't help the relief he felt that his friend was still alive.
Legolas was hauled to his feet and stood there swaying. The act of trying to stand was hard enough and he wondered how far he could manage to walk. As he was roughly pulled forward it didn't seem like he had much of a choice and the image of him getting dragged behind a warg was not a pleasant one. The movement felt strange and he looked down to see a rope around his neck. Anger built up in him as he realizes they meant to lead him around like a pack mule. Legolas looked to the orc who had spoken to him and who now held his leash with blue fire eyes. They blazed even more when he recognized this orc to be the one that had run Aragorn into the tree.
Grimnosh saw the look of defiance in the elf's eyes after he noticed the rope. Did elves always have to be so difficult? After a moment his eyes took on an intensity that almost made the large orc take a step back. Except for one being he'd never seen that much anger in another eyes before. Had he not been supposed to bring the elf back, this one would have been one he would not have taken a chance with as a prisoner. He would have killed him here and now. For the first time ever Grimnosh started to feel doubt. Like all of his kin Grimnosh had never been blessed with the gift of foresight, but he was suddenly doubtful about trying control this prisoner. And he was, was it...fear? When a misty shape started to silently form behind the faintly glowing form of the elf Grimnosh smiled. His confidence came back as he was reminded that he had help in this task.
Legolas couldn't hide the anger he felt and he saw doubt flicker in the orc's eyes. He was surprised when it faded quickly and the foul thing actually started to grin. Legolas was entertaining thoughts involving the orc's head and several different weapons when a deceivingly gentle voice broke into them.
"You don't listen to well do you?" it purred into his ear.
The whole side of his face went numb and a deep shudder ran down his spin at the overwhelming evil. Legolas wheeled around and his eyes went big when he saw a spectral form floating in front of him. When he turned it brought his face around right in front of hers. There was something familiar about this woman, err...ghost, whatever she was. Something very familiar, but he just could place it. Legolas saw the hunger in her eyes and with a sickening feeling he realized it was directed towards him. He unconsciously took a step back from the being in front of him.
"What's the matter master elf? Not afraid of me are you?"
He saw the delight in her eyes as she said that and had to admit to himself that, yes, there was something about her that frightened him. He decided he would never allow her to know this fact and he steeled his eyes and posture. The ghostly woman raised a delicate eyebrow up questioningly.
"Very well. You still didn't answer my question, though."
It was Legolas' turn to arch his eyebrow in confusion.
"I said you don't listen to well do you?"
Finding his voice for the first time Legolas spoke up, "And just what was I supposed to have heard?"
"I do believe our dear Grimnosh there," she said indicating the orc Legolas had been glaring down a minute ago, "told you to walk or the ranger would pay the penalty and I told you before that such disobedient thoughts were not a good idea."
Legolas' eyes widened at that. It had been her he had heard before he blacked out. 'At least I wasn't hearing voices,' he thought dryly.
Then realization dawned on him again. The cold touch on his ear a moment ago was familiar. It was what he felt before he blacked out earlier, he had felt the same touch in the woods during the warg battle, and he had first felt it when he was on watch before they even entered these woods. She was the reason for his feeling of being watched all those times. She had been watching them before they even entered the woods! She even knew the awful Grimnosh creature's name. She probably knew that the swarm of orcs was heading there way two days ago and that could only mean one thing. Aragorn and he were driven in here purposely. They had run straight into a trap!
The whole realization that they were indeed herded here and trapped made Legolas weak in the knees. He shut his eyes as crushing despair washed threw him. They never really had any hope of escaping. They had been fooling themselves. His fate was sealed the first step he took into the forest. He had control over nothing!
Legolas' breathing became heavy and he dropped to his knees. Grimnosh went to jerk the elf back up, but Nadina called for him to stop. He looked from the struggling elf to Nadina. She had her brilliant smile on and looked positively delighted. He stared at her in confusion having no idea what was happening. Nadina looked over and saw the confusion written all over Grimnosh's face and sighed, or at lest went through the motion.
"Our master is at work. Do not touch him until I tell you!"
Grimnosh nodded his understanding, dropped the rope, and backed away a little. He motioned for the rest of the orcs to back away as well. Nadina's translucent body kneeled down and she floated in close to the kneeling elf's ear. His head was bowed down and his golden hair fell in a curtain over his face.
*****
The darkness around Legolas spirit seemed to deepen with his despair. A voice in the back of his mind told him he should stop this dangerous line of thought before it was too late, but he was unable to halt its momentum. It was his fault Aragorn and he were in this situation after all. He was in the lead when they had fled from the orcs, so he had ultimately led them here. When he had felt a warning about entering these woods he should have insisted they take to the mountains or to the open land that lay to the west. If it had not been for him slowing them down they could have escaped earlier today when the sun still shone. They might have even had a slim chance of leaving tonight if he had not led them towards the warg riders. 'Stupid fool,' he cursed himself again for that. This was it. There was no hope left for them now and it was all because of him.
The familiar coldness began to build inside Legolas and creep down his arms. He took no notice if it. His breathing became shallow and quick, but still he paid it no heed. He was too wrapped up in his dark line of reasoning to notice. It was entirely his fault and now Aragorn would pay the price for Legolas' mistakes. He will die. No! He would find a way for the ranger to escape. There had to be one. It didn't matter anymore if he died, but Estel would go free.
Suddenly the numbness Legolas had been ignoring flared into pain. Crushing pain seared down his entire body and every muscle tensed in response. Blackness reached out to permeate his soul and icy tendrils curled around his mind. It felt like he was encased in ice. He could no longer move or think clearly.
A strange feeling spread through him and made him lightheaded. His eyes opened of their own accord and his head came up. He saw everything, but it was distant and detached somehow. His body straightened itself and he looked into the spectral face hovering in front of his. He blinked slowly trying to figure out who this was and why he could see through her. Did he know this being? Rise Legolas slowly rose to his feet and stood there waiting for what he was supposed to do.
*****
Nadina waited impatiently as she watched the elf struggling. Foolish elf. It would be much easier on him if he would just stop fighting. She knew this from personnel experience, she remembered almost regretfully. She tensed, figuratively, in excitement along with the elf. It was hard to see through the gold curtain, oh how she would like to be able to feel it, but she could see all of the color drain from his fair face and his eyes scrunch tightly in pain. 'Disobedient thought,' she smirked with pleasure. 'He will learn soon enough.' Of course, knowing how stubborn elves were he might not and die painfully for his resilience. When Nadina saw the elf look up at her and straighten she almost flew around in delight. He stared at her with expressionless eyes and slowly stood up. 'So much for stubbornness,' she chuckled. Nadina looked over at Grimnosh and motioned with her delicate arm for him to come closer.
Grimnosh approached the pair hesitantly and looked from one to the other. The ghostly vixen positively glowed. Speaking of glowing as Grimnosh upon closer inspection he noticed that the elf was barely glowing anymore.
"It is alright Grimnosh, pick up the rope."
Grimnosh glanced at the elf's vacant eyes. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew who was causing it, so he shrugged and picked up the rope.
****
Legolas didn't recognize anyone or remember where he was. At the moment, though, none of this seemed strange. It felt like this was always how it was. Things had never been any different. A burly orc walked over to the see through lady and picked up the rope tied around his neck. Follow said the comforting voice. It really as a very nice voice Legolas decided. It knew what was best, so he would listen. He could feel the evil emanating from the voice and for that matter from the lady in front of him, but it didn't matter. After all, wasn't he the same?
*****
Grimnosh was surprised when he tugged on the rope and the elf followed without complaint. When he had tried this before the elf looked like he wanted to hang Grimnosh with the rope around his neck. 'This is more like it!' Why couldn't all prisoners be this way? Grimnosh led the elf passed the gawking orcs over to the gawking Jeridan.
"Well, are we's ready?"
To stunned to form any coherent words Jeridan simply nodded in response. Grimnosh snorted in contempt and ordered everyone to move. He and the elf fell in line near the end behind Jeridan and Radoc. He figured Radoc must have finally gotten fed up with the human riding him because instead of mounted he was walking next to the warg.
*****
They had only been walking for twenty minutes when what sounded like a bark rang out from ahead. Grimnosh let out an irritated growl, for he didn't need to see what was going on to know who had caused it. That's it, he was going to kill one of them!
Jeridan's eyes went wide when Grimnosh handed him the rope attached to the elf.
"Holds this and don't wonder off. And leaves him be! This better not be one of yous wargs fault!" Grimnosh stomped away.
Jeridan looked nervously at the elf. He had killed four of the pack by himself already. Well how hard could this task really be? After all, the elf was in some sort of stupor. As Jeridan looked at the hapless being he couldn't help himself.
"Not so stubborn now are we?" he chuckled.
"See, even elves can be taught to behave. I suppose your friend will have to learn the same lesson when he wakes up. Oh pardon me, I should say if he wakes up. The ranger had a pretty hard meeting with the tree. I know, I was right there. I think I surprised him you know? I don't think he was expecting to see a human riding a warg, so the fool wouldn't strike me. If he lives I think he might have learned his lesson about hesitating."
****
Legolas stood there patiently as his orc stopped and then handed the rope to human they were following. He could hear the commotion up front before the warg let out the loud noise. It and the orc that was leading it were fighting. The orc was calling the warg all sorts of names while he dodged the wargs sharp teeth. Which made the orc yell even more as he tried to keep the warg from dumping the load it was carrying. Legolas' attention focused on the human when he started talking. He really wasn't paying much attention until the human said something about a ranger. He was under the impression the ranger was going to die. This sparked a flare of anger in the elf. He didn't know why, but the thought of the ranger being hurt made him angry. As the human went babbling on about the ranger Legolas' anger built up inside him. The angrier he got the more his mind cleared until he remembered. That ranger the human spoke so indifferently about was his friend. He was Aragorn, Elessar, Estel-his friend. Legolas still wasn't sure of where he was or why in the world he was being lead around on a leash, but he knew one thing. Aragorn was his friend and needed help. The human said something about feeding Aragorn to one of the wargs named Radoc. Legolas had heard enough to become furious and he snapped out of the compliant trance like state.
Jeridan was staring into the gloom in front of him as he talked. He couldn't see far enough to know what was going on, but he looked anyway. He turned back around and froze in mid sentence. The elf's eyes suddenly looked aware and very, very angry. As a matter of fact they burned with anger. But they were different somehow. They were no longer the blue he remembered them to be, they were almost black now.
In a swift motion too fast for the human to follow Legolas reached with his still bound hands, grabbed a hold of Jeridan's color, and jerked his head down to meet the elf's upraised knee. The human grunted in pain as his nose connected with Legolas' knee. The elf still gripping the human rammed him face first into a tree. 'How is that for running into trees?' he thought with some satisfaction. As Jeridan hit the tree Legolas continued his motion and circled face the stunned orc behind him. He snatched the sword from the creature's side and hit it in the face with the hilt in one quick motion. The orc fell backwards next to the downed human. Legolas quickly cut the rope around his wrist before any of the numerous orcs up front noticed what was happening. Unsure of where to go Legolas guessed his friend must be somewhere in front of him. Huge number of orcs or not he darted forward only to be stopped as an unusually large warg turned to face him with its teeth bared. He circled the beast cautiously waiting for it to make the first lung. He was surprised when it didn't strike at him.
*****
"I'm sick of all of yous. Nakash cause anymore trouble an I'll cleaves yous head right off. And you," he turned on the warg carrying Aragorn, "one more time mutt and I lets her have you!" Grimnosh pointed to Nadina who had come to the front to see what was going on.
Just when things were under control here alarmed shout sounded from the back of the line. Grimnosh growled even louder.
"Bungling human!"
*****
Legolas didn't have time stare down this warg all night, so he decided to make the first move. He brought the awkward weapon in position to move in and strike quickly. He succeeded in taking the first step towards the beast when a sharp pain in his chest made him stumble. He realized as he saw ghostly hand touching his chest that it was the cold causing such pain. A white mist wrapped up to envelop him and everything became numb. His lungs froze in place and he couldn't breath. The white mist in his vision quickly lifted and he dropped to his knees shivering and gulping in air. Almost immediately after he fell to the ground he was harshly lifted into the air and slammed against a tree. Legolas was being held against the tree by the neck and his air supply was cut off once again. He looked down into the snarling face of an orc. Black dots started to play across his vision and he grew lightheaded. He tried to pry the cruel hands away from his throat, but he had not the strength left. He heard a voice from somewhere far away.
"Put him, or Lord Valdumus will have your head."
The dark spots were spreading into a solid wall dimming the world around Legolas and his hands devoid of feeling slid numbly from his capture's wrist.
"Put him down! Now or you will not have a hands left in which to hold him!"
Grimnosh threw the elf to the ground just as his eyes were starting to roll back in his head. He hated backing down at anyone's command, but the prospect of having his hands ate off wasn't pretty and he knew Nadina could do it.
Legolas head a dull thud. It took a moment for his oxygen-starved brain to figure out what had happened. Once he realized he could inhale air once more he raggedly sucked in air as he coughed. His throat felt raw making it hurt to breathe. Right now, though, he welcomed the pain as long as he could force air into his lungs.
Grimnosh kneeled over the elf and personally bound his hands this time in the back. He realized he should have done this to begin with because, obviously, he could still hit someone with his hands in front. He bound them so tight that there was no chance the stupid elf could even wiggle or shift his hands.
Things were starting to come back into to focus and Legolas could feel his hands again. Which were being harshly bound behind his back right now. Legolas painfully swallowed which only caused a short coughing fit. He was hauled to his feet and said a silent 'thank you' to the Valar that it was by his shoulders and not by the neck. Grimnosh pulled the elf's face in close to his by the rope around his neck and Legolas almost thought he spoke to quickly.
"Listen carefully elf. I warned you before about trying anything. The only reason I'm nots going to takes it out on the human is because he wouldn't feels it right now and so wouldn't be any fun for me understand? Next time I'll punish the both of yous whether he's awake or not."
Grimnosh released the elf and turned away.
He looked around to see if everyone was there. The orc the elf had clobbered was piled on a warg and Jeridan, abate shakily, was standing again holding onto a warg for support. Nadina was floating close to the elf with her eyes narrowed glaring at him. She floated over to him and hovered beside him.
"It will be light soon and if I'm not mistaken you usually retreat during those hours. If you have a place in mind I would suggest you head for it," and with that Nadina whirled into a barely perceptible mist nd vanished into the gloom.
Grimnosh didn't know why, but even after all of the times she had ordered him around he still wasn't really angry with her. He shrugged in confusion. She was right. They had to get moving.
*****
Legolas was so tired he could barely stand up. He stumbled along trying to force himself, and only half succeeding, to keep aware of where they were. He eventually gave up on the idea when he needed all of his concentration just to put one foot in front of the other. Right now even the image of being dragged along by a warg didn't seem so bad. He was exhausted before the fight with the warg rider and he was beyond exhaustion now. The two times he had come into contact with the spectral vixen she had zapped away all of his energy. He was tired and bruised throat was parched. His breath still came out in rasps.
By the time they reached their destination it was approaching the sunrise. Grimnosh called everyone to a halt. Legolas forced his tired eyes to look up and wished he hadn't. They had to be joking!
They had traveled in closer to the mountains and in front of them was a set of caves. Caves! There was no way he was going to be able to stand the entire day cramped in a cave with orcs! After this horrendously long and dark night Legolas needed to see the light. Which he wasn't going to be able to do in a stuffy, dark cave. He felt a painful tug on his rope and glared at his capture. After his incident earlier Grimnosh had not taken anymore chances and led the elf personally the entire time since.
"Come on elf."
He was led to one of the entrances and he couldn't see anything in the black depths. The sky less night was enough and considering his problem with the dark earlier and his current stresses state Legolas didn't know if he could handle spending all day in there. He was going to go mad. Not that he wasn't already, but... Despair started to build inside Legolas again. He really needed to see light and now there was no hope left of that. He was going to remain in darkness forever.
Grimnosh saw the elf hesitating. 'That's right,' he thought, 'his kind cannot stand cave.' A malicious grin formed on his face at that pleasing thought.
Legolas was forcefully pushed into the entrance. With his hands tied and barely being able to stand he could do nothing about being forced in. He held his breath and his heart pounded in his ears as he was pushed inside the oppressive and light less chasm.
TBC...
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That wasn't so bad was it? The chapter originally went on for much longer, but I thought it might be getting too long. I mean, how much can one poor elf take in one chapter?
*******
Stephanie-Lou, goblz, and White Wolf - Thank you for putting this story on your favorite stories list! I sincerely apologize for not noticing it earlier. Thank you, Thank you! And please don't be angry *dodges thrown object*. Sorry! :)
Karri - I do admit that was an awful cliffie. I hope this wasn't too long of a wait. Did I already mention that I love your young Aragorn stories? They are adorable! I do hope you have more planned as I would like to read them. I am currently working on a short humorous fic-let with Elladan and Elrohir when they are young. Boy, can you imagine those two little? Poor Elrond and Celebrian! ;)
Sprout - I am glad you are finally armed. ;) And I'm pleased you like the last chapter! Ah, ah, the cliffie did its job. That one was supposed to be evil, muah, ah, ah! You don't have to beg; here it is, see? And I was nice at the end of this one! No cliffie! I thought I'd give everyone a little time to recover as we are drawing near the tower and we know what's there, dun, dun, dun. Well I guess you guys don't know exactly what's there and what's in store, but I do! *Shudders* *followed by an evil grin*
Lil'layah - That's good, because we seem to be heading in that direction. Thank you ever so much for reading and reviewing! Feel free to do it as often as you like! Oh, who am I kidding? Please, please, please review! *Begs*
Tithen Min - I suppose I might be afraid to read the next chapter, huh? Grr, every time I read about him I want to smack him and shake him to wake up! Anyway, I know, I trust you. Oh and by the way, since you said you do actually like him I thought I would tell you that Thranduil might just have a cameo in this story. Of course that is much, much later. So don't beat him around too much I need to borrow him. ;) Yes, I did decide to turn the stress levels back up a bit, after all this is a suspense story, it needs a little. This ending wasn't so bad though. And it takes an odd person to such an odd story! Muah, ah, ah, - sorry where did that come from? I think all of my bad guys are rubbing off on me, but there so fun to write. They are after all the comic relief. And lle creoso for the quote, I thought it would help! ;) Lissenen ar' maska' lalaith tenna' lye omentuva! //Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet//