Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
You make me nervous, throat dry
my brain is empty, don't know why
but I saw you doing something
which is really truly nothing
-'all mixed up', 311
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
The Sweetness: Inner Light Spectrum
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
When Lizzie got there, it was already dusk. On the far end of the playground, a lone figure was sitting on the swings. Gordo. Lizzie strolled over, trying to gather her thoughts. "Hey," she said quietly.
He was staring at the grass, toeing it, but he looked up when she approached. He looked...different. Not physically, but there was just something about him that seemed different, older, maybe. "Hey."
Lizzie sat down on the swing next to him, and for a moment the both of them just sat there, not moving, staring at the darkening playground where they'd spent a lot of their childhood.
"We'll have to talk about this eventually," Gordo said, breaking the peaceful silence. He added quickly, "But not just yet, if you don't want to."
"'Kay," Lizzie said, wondering when she would have enough common sense and poise to say something other than monosyllabic mutterings.
"I'm gonna let you decide when you want to," Gordo continued, "but I won't let this night end without us talking, okay?"
Lizzie nodded, but realized he wasn't looking at her. "Sure." Gordo was usually so confident, but tonight he was in a different way. She sort of liked it, even if she didn't really want to talk about anything.
Of course, she really did. Otherwise she wouldn't have brought up the married friends bit when she had, right?
Stupid subconscious.
They started to swing, venting their frustrations into pumping their legs and soaring into the night sky. Lizzie didn't know how much time had passed before she finally got tired of swinging and tired of the tension flowing between them, and slowed to a stop. Gordo, seeing this, quickly ceased swinging himself.
"You...wanna talk about it?" he asked.
"Yeah," Lizzie said in a small voice. Okay, here it was. Here it was, and Lizzie didn't know what to say. It had to be good, it had to be eloquent, she had to make him understand...she had to make *herself* understand. "Well, you know, it's not like I really kissed you," she blurted out cheerfully, her voice just a little too high. "I mean, it was just on the cheek..." Right. Way to totally make Gordo feel like an idiot. Nice play, McGuire.
"Right. Yeah. I know. Totally," Gordo agreed. There was a pause, and his voice took on that serious tone. "But why did you do it? There's gotta be a reason."
Did there have to be a reason? Things were so awkward right now, Lizzie was beginning to wish fervently that she'd never done it. She was beginning to wish that Kate had never said anything, that she hadn't read Gordo's message in the yearbook, that things could just go back to the way they had always been.
But then again, it wasn't like she would mind being Gordo's girlfriend. She had gotten kind of jealous when he'd dated Brooke Baker, hadn't she? She'd been upset when he'd danced with Parker Mackenzie...
Face it, girl, you like Gordo.
"I just...felt like it," she said, shrugging slightly. Well, until she got her brain in proper working order, that was the best he was getting. "Were you upset?"
"Confused, maybe, but not upset."
Lizzie allowed herself to sway slightly in the gentle summer breeze. "Um, Gordo, do you...do you like me?"
"Would you be mad? If I did?" Gordo asked.
"Why would I be mad?" Lizzie asked.
"'Cause, I dunno, we've been friends, best friends, for so long, and...it'd be weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?"
Gordo paused. "Good weird. 'Cause, Lizzie, I never thought I'd say this, at least not in person, and I've been trying for the longest time to say it, but," he paused to screw up his courage, or something like that, and Lizzie found that she was holding her breath, "I really, really like you a lot."
Lizzie was blushing. No one had ever said that to her before. Well, Ronny had, and Frankie, and Larry Tudgeman had, but this was different because this was *Gordo*. And coming from Gordo, it seemed to mean a lot more.
So did that mean that she liked Gordo?
~~~~~
Lizzie wasn't saying anything. Gordo felt his confidence ebbing, and he debated getting up and just leaving. He was stupid to have come here tonight, to have insisted that they talk about this. What had he been thinking? No good was ever to come from this whole thing, and he should just leave before he made a bigger idiot out of himself.
But still, it felt good for him to have said it, because whether or not she reciprocated his feelings, at least she knew and understood why he'd been acting so weird lately. It was important to him that she understood. And even though he'd been so irrationally fearful before, he knew deep inside that Lizzie wouldn't hate him for having deeper feelings for her. Lizzie wasn't that kind of person. Whatever happened, they'd get through it.
Of course, even with this mantra in mind, he couldn't quell the knot of fear rapidly building upon itself in his gut, the one that said 'Lizzie's going to think you're a freak and she'll never speak to you again.' And of course, even if they'd still be friends after this, he had a feeling he'd always have that pit of disappointment marring everything.
"You know, this is really stupid," Gordo found himself muttering. "I should go. I'm sorry for making you come out here."
This was the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.
"Don't be sorry," Lizzie said as Gordo stood up. He glanced at her, but she was fascinated by her shoes. "Gordo, I think it's really cool that you were brave enough to ask me out here to say something as big as that. I mean, it's not like I ever had the courage to say that sort of stuff to Ethan."
Ethan Craft. The bane of Gordo's existence. Well, it wasn't like he was a bad guy, just dim-witted. With decent hair (Gordo, being a guy, didn't see the fuss over the hair). He didn't for the life of him know why Lizzie was so obsessed over the guy considering talking to him was like talking to a recently defrosted Neanderthal. But whatever made Lizzie happy made him happy, too, in a weird way.
"I'm really proud of you," Lizzie continued, and Gordo's heart sank. She envied his honesty and (belated) courage, and she was proud of him. And while this statement meant a lot to Gordo considering its source, it didn't exactly bode well for them being anything more than friends.
"Thanks, I think," Gordo said dully. His leg muscles were tense and aching, waiting for the brain's command to run as fast as he could.
"And I guess it's sort of inspiring, because I feel like I can tell you that I like you, too."
Gordo shut off. His body froze, his mind numbed, and he didn't know what to do with himself. He had been hoping for that sort of answer, but that didn't mean he'd been expecting it, and it had completely blindsided him. "R--Really?"
When he looked at her again, this time she was meeting his eyes, and she had the prettiest blue eyes. Gordo felt warm all over.
"Yeah," Lizzie said quietly.
Gordo sat down again, and they both looked at the ground. "So...what do we do now?" Gordo asked. He tried to keep his voice somber, but he was absolutely elated. Lizzie liked him back. Lizzie liked him back!
"I dunno...I guess we go out."
Gordo didn't to be the voice of concern, but he had to ask. "You don't think it'd be too weird?"
"It'd be weird at first, but then...not so weird." She didn't sound upset; that was good.
"Would you be okay with it?" Gordo asked.
She smiled. "Yeah, I think I would. Would you?"
Definitely. "Yeah. So, ah...Lizzie, will you go out with me?"
She smiled at him. She had a great smile. "Sure."
Gordo grinned, the sort of grin that you couldn't erase if you tried. This could very well be the best day of his life.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
You make me nervous, throat dry
my brain is empty, don't know why
but I saw you doing something
which is really truly nothing
-'all mixed up', 311
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
The Sweetness: Inner Light Spectrum
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
When Lizzie got there, it was already dusk. On the far end of the playground, a lone figure was sitting on the swings. Gordo. Lizzie strolled over, trying to gather her thoughts. "Hey," she said quietly.
He was staring at the grass, toeing it, but he looked up when she approached. He looked...different. Not physically, but there was just something about him that seemed different, older, maybe. "Hey."
Lizzie sat down on the swing next to him, and for a moment the both of them just sat there, not moving, staring at the darkening playground where they'd spent a lot of their childhood.
"We'll have to talk about this eventually," Gordo said, breaking the peaceful silence. He added quickly, "But not just yet, if you don't want to."
"'Kay," Lizzie said, wondering when she would have enough common sense and poise to say something other than monosyllabic mutterings.
"I'm gonna let you decide when you want to," Gordo continued, "but I won't let this night end without us talking, okay?"
Lizzie nodded, but realized he wasn't looking at her. "Sure." Gordo was usually so confident, but tonight he was in a different way. She sort of liked it, even if she didn't really want to talk about anything.
Of course, she really did. Otherwise she wouldn't have brought up the married friends bit when she had, right?
Stupid subconscious.
They started to swing, venting their frustrations into pumping their legs and soaring into the night sky. Lizzie didn't know how much time had passed before she finally got tired of swinging and tired of the tension flowing between them, and slowed to a stop. Gordo, seeing this, quickly ceased swinging himself.
"You...wanna talk about it?" he asked.
"Yeah," Lizzie said in a small voice. Okay, here it was. Here it was, and Lizzie didn't know what to say. It had to be good, it had to be eloquent, she had to make him understand...she had to make *herself* understand. "Well, you know, it's not like I really kissed you," she blurted out cheerfully, her voice just a little too high. "I mean, it was just on the cheek..." Right. Way to totally make Gordo feel like an idiot. Nice play, McGuire.
"Right. Yeah. I know. Totally," Gordo agreed. There was a pause, and his voice took on that serious tone. "But why did you do it? There's gotta be a reason."
Did there have to be a reason? Things were so awkward right now, Lizzie was beginning to wish fervently that she'd never done it. She was beginning to wish that Kate had never said anything, that she hadn't read Gordo's message in the yearbook, that things could just go back to the way they had always been.
But then again, it wasn't like she would mind being Gordo's girlfriend. She had gotten kind of jealous when he'd dated Brooke Baker, hadn't she? She'd been upset when he'd danced with Parker Mackenzie...
Face it, girl, you like Gordo.
"I just...felt like it," she said, shrugging slightly. Well, until she got her brain in proper working order, that was the best he was getting. "Were you upset?"
"Confused, maybe, but not upset."
Lizzie allowed herself to sway slightly in the gentle summer breeze. "Um, Gordo, do you...do you like me?"
"Would you be mad? If I did?" Gordo asked.
"Why would I be mad?" Lizzie asked.
"'Cause, I dunno, we've been friends, best friends, for so long, and...it'd be weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?"
Gordo paused. "Good weird. 'Cause, Lizzie, I never thought I'd say this, at least not in person, and I've been trying for the longest time to say it, but," he paused to screw up his courage, or something like that, and Lizzie found that she was holding her breath, "I really, really like you a lot."
Lizzie was blushing. No one had ever said that to her before. Well, Ronny had, and Frankie, and Larry Tudgeman had, but this was different because this was *Gordo*. And coming from Gordo, it seemed to mean a lot more.
So did that mean that she liked Gordo?
~~~~~
Lizzie wasn't saying anything. Gordo felt his confidence ebbing, and he debated getting up and just leaving. He was stupid to have come here tonight, to have insisted that they talk about this. What had he been thinking? No good was ever to come from this whole thing, and he should just leave before he made a bigger idiot out of himself.
But still, it felt good for him to have said it, because whether or not she reciprocated his feelings, at least she knew and understood why he'd been acting so weird lately. It was important to him that she understood. And even though he'd been so irrationally fearful before, he knew deep inside that Lizzie wouldn't hate him for having deeper feelings for her. Lizzie wasn't that kind of person. Whatever happened, they'd get through it.
Of course, even with this mantra in mind, he couldn't quell the knot of fear rapidly building upon itself in his gut, the one that said 'Lizzie's going to think you're a freak and she'll never speak to you again.' And of course, even if they'd still be friends after this, he had a feeling he'd always have that pit of disappointment marring everything.
"You know, this is really stupid," Gordo found himself muttering. "I should go. I'm sorry for making you come out here."
This was the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.
"Don't be sorry," Lizzie said as Gordo stood up. He glanced at her, but she was fascinated by her shoes. "Gordo, I think it's really cool that you were brave enough to ask me out here to say something as big as that. I mean, it's not like I ever had the courage to say that sort of stuff to Ethan."
Ethan Craft. The bane of Gordo's existence. Well, it wasn't like he was a bad guy, just dim-witted. With decent hair (Gordo, being a guy, didn't see the fuss over the hair). He didn't for the life of him know why Lizzie was so obsessed over the guy considering talking to him was like talking to a recently defrosted Neanderthal. But whatever made Lizzie happy made him happy, too, in a weird way.
"I'm really proud of you," Lizzie continued, and Gordo's heart sank. She envied his honesty and (belated) courage, and she was proud of him. And while this statement meant a lot to Gordo considering its source, it didn't exactly bode well for them being anything more than friends.
"Thanks, I think," Gordo said dully. His leg muscles were tense and aching, waiting for the brain's command to run as fast as he could.
"And I guess it's sort of inspiring, because I feel like I can tell you that I like you, too."
Gordo shut off. His body froze, his mind numbed, and he didn't know what to do with himself. He had been hoping for that sort of answer, but that didn't mean he'd been expecting it, and it had completely blindsided him. "R--Really?"
When he looked at her again, this time she was meeting his eyes, and she had the prettiest blue eyes. Gordo felt warm all over.
"Yeah," Lizzie said quietly.
Gordo sat down again, and they both looked at the ground. "So...what do we do now?" Gordo asked. He tried to keep his voice somber, but he was absolutely elated. Lizzie liked him back. Lizzie liked him back!
"I dunno...I guess we go out."
Gordo didn't to be the voice of concern, but he had to ask. "You don't think it'd be too weird?"
"It'd be weird at first, but then...not so weird." She didn't sound upset; that was good.
"Would you be okay with it?" Gordo asked.
She smiled. "Yeah, I think I would. Would you?"
Definitely. "Yeah. So, ah...Lizzie, will you go out with me?"
She smiled at him. She had a great smile. "Sure."
Gordo grinned, the sort of grin that you couldn't erase if you tried. This could very well be the best day of his life.