Mokuba: Welcome back! Hey, in case you're just tuning in, here's a recap.
Nelly just preformed Air Force Ones, Malik received the very first Osiris
Deathtime Achievement Award, and we all found out Shadi is bald! We haven't
had very much action around here-just awards and musical guests. No comedy
or anything like that.
Monica: That's cause we're the comedy baby! And anyway, no one's funnier than Yami Malik.
Mokuba: ?_? I thought you said that he was very creepy.
Monica: (whispering) Yeah, and I think he stalkin' me. I don't wanna get killed or anything.
Yami Malik: (grinning evilly from backstage)
Laura: Anyway, it's nice to know that Malik finally got some credit for something. For all the abuse we put him through, we always forget to honor him as one of the most important Yu-gi-oh Characters of all time.
Monica: Ok, enough with the kissing of the ass. You know what Mokuba, my favorite award is coming up.
Mokuba: What?
Monica: Cutest Bishonen. Whoever wins will also get a night out on the town with me and Laura. It's the biggest award here. So reviewers, don't forget to vote! It's ver important-who I'm seen with in public will either make me or break me.
Laura: ...Yes, well anyway, we've got more wonderful awards to present. We don't want you to forget that the female characters are just as important as the male characters. Here to present the award for Best Female Character are two men who certainly have a very respectful view of women-Solomon and Yami.
*Host/hostesses exit, presenters enter*
Yami: (one hand in pocket, grinning mischieviously) You know grandpa, girls are hot.
Grandpa: I agree. Girls are very hot.
Yami: Yes. Especially virgins with large breasts.
Grandpa: Really Yami? You're a breast man? ^_^ So'm I!
Yami: Actually, I'm from Egypt, and our women had large butts and thighs, so while I like breasts-A LOT-I'll have to say that I'm a butt and thigh man myself. (grinning shamelessly) I must have something to grab while we're (omitted due to content).
Audience: O.O
Yami Malik: (laughing maniacally) Monica...!
Yami: Yes, like Monica. I will definitely be going out on a date with both her and Laura Croft. And it won't be because I won Cutest Bishounen.
Laura: (from backstage) You're sick Yami! We don't perform those kinds of services!
Grandpa: Hmm, you don't find Laura's bust to be intimidating Yami?
Yami: Actually, I look of it as a mountain. And like the song says, "Ain't no mountain high enough."
Guys in audience: *cheer wildly*
Yami: (grins devilishly) And ain't no valley low enough.
Monica: (from backstage) Hey now! I'd love to wash in his old bathwater-oh yeah!
Grandpa: ^_^ Perhaps we should present the award for Best Female Character.
Yami: Just so you all know, this award is based largely on the woman's shape and how they'd look in a bikini. All male members of the show-and Monica-voted on this award. It was quite close, let me assure you.
Grandpa: Yes, quite close. And the nominees for Best Female Character are...
MV: Mai!
Guys in audience: *wolf whistles*
Mai: (rolling eyes) Get off it.
MV: Serenity!
GIA: *cheers wildly*
Serenity: (smiling, blushing) Thanks!
MV: Ishizu Ishtar!
GIA: *wolf calls, other obscene comments, wild, almost drunken cheering*
Isis: (blinks)
MV: And Tea!
Tea: Whoo-hoo!
Audience: *is dead silent*
*frog croaks*
Tea: -_- Why am I always the one who's being abused?
Grandpa: (grinning) Open the envelope Yugi-I want to see who won!
Yami: It's Yami. Yugi wouldn't have the balls to be up here. (opens envelope) And the winner is.Isis!
Audience: *goes completely wild*
*Isis approaches the podium*
Isis: Thank you, but I cannot accept this award. You see, if was not given to me because of my brains or actual importance in the show. It was given to me because I look good in a bikini. That is so shallow. I refuse to participate in this disgusting category. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Women are not objects. We are free independent creatures, and without us, none of you would even exist.
Mai: Preach it sister!
Yami: Then we'll just give it to Serenity.
Serenity: Actually, I don't want it. I'm allergic to gold.
Tea: I'll take it!
Yami: (looks around) Did you hear someone speaking?
Grandpa: No. Let's go use this thing to hurt someone.
Yami: We'll beat Tea with it. She's a *beep* anyway.
Grandpa: ^_^ Good idea!
*Presenters/Isis walk offstage. Camera focuses center stage where the podium is.*
Monica: We've just received word that the following artists have been mysteriously killed: Lopez, Jennifer. That is all.
Laura: (obviously sickened by the thought) Someone put a sickle through her head.
Mokuba: ^_^ It was so cool! Just like it is in the horror shows! Except real!
Laura: Mokuba, this is serious! Someone's killing off these artists! What if one of us is next!?
Monica: A woman with guns should never doubt herself. Which brings me to my next point. Jenny was supposed to perform her hit "I'm Real", and obviously, her death got to her before we could. We need a musical performance in that slot.
Mokuba: Monica, you can sing and dance!
Monica: ...^_^ Why yes Mokuba. Yes I can.
Mokuba: Why don't you do something?
Monica: This is very much on the spot, but fortunately I've prepared for this occasion with a little routine that I had to take from Soul Decision- whose talent couldn't fill up a baby pacifier.
Mokuba: Who's Soul Decision?
Monica: Me! It's my sole decision to have yo fine ass brotha up here to help me with this routine.
Seto: O.O
*The other Yu-gi-oh cast members conveniently burst out laughing*
Malik: Seto, you can dance?!
Seto: (blushing madly) NO, I DON'T DANCE!
Yugi: Now that I think about it, didn't I see you coming out of a dance studio before you got here?
Seto: THAT WASN'T ME!!
Yami: Yeah right. Who was it, your Yami?
Mokuba: (grinning sweetly) Don't be silly big brother! Usher asked you to be one of the dancers in his next video! Of course you can dance! You just don't like to do it in public.
Monica: (grinning mischievously) Is that so. Usher, you say? One of the biggest entertainers in the R&B industry?
Seto: (obviously panicking) There's no way I'm getting up on that stage! You can't prove that I can dance!
Malik: Well, I can dance. I'll gladly dance with you Monica!
Monica: Baby, we can dance later-oh yeah!
Mokuba: Come on Seto! We've got extra airspace and we need to fill it! (proceeds with puppy dog eyes) Please big brother? For me?
Monica: Hey now!
Seto: (grumbling) Fine. But I demand that this not be aired on Television.
Laura: What're you talking about Seto? We're live.
Seto: O.O
Audience: *laughs*
*Monica takes Seto's hand and drags him backstage*
Laura: While they're preparing an impromptu performance-which is very likely to go wrong-we're going to a commercial break.
Mokuba: We'll be back after a word from our sponsers! ^_^ I love saying that!
****Commercial Break****
Yami: Hi. This is my good friend, the Dills-berry Troe-boy.
Yuugi: O,O Um.I thought it was the Pillsbury Doughboy...
Yami: SILENCE!!
Dills-berry Troe-boy: o.o
Yami: Ahem...He helps me when Yuugi comes in from a long day of school, getting beat up and such, and we make cinnamon rolls. Isn't that right?
Dills-berry Troe-boy: (in sing-song) My fart to yours...
Yuugi: O,O Um...Yami, I don't think...he's the same...
Yami: -_- Yuugi, not now. In fact, we just made some cinnamon rolls! Let's see how they turned out! (puts on oven mittens and takes out cinnamon rolls)
Yuugi: Hmm that smells...O-O HORRIBLE!!! WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!
Yami: Um...Dill made them. (points to DT)
DT: Their my baked roach cinnamon rolls! Hoo Hoo!
Yuugi:...That's rancid! Avril, my dear! I'm ready to join you!!!
****End commercial****
(Ryou has placed a blindfold over Bakura's eyes for a *surprise* .)
Ryou: (takes blindfold off of Bakura) Surprise!!!
Bakura: (holding martini glass filled with Grey Goose Vodka, sipping casually) What the hell, Ryou? (looks around to see people staring at him)...You will have *the most* painful...(looks up to see a giant sign that says: "ACOHOLICS ANONYMOUS") -.- I'm not an alcoholic Ryou.
Ryou: (decides to ignore his yami's interesting choice of words)...This is Bob.
Bob: Hi. I'm Bob.
Bakura: -.- (still sipping vodka) You don't say.
Ryou: He said that maybe you...might be in denial of being an alcoholic. Understand that I only want what's best for you, and you'll get along just fine here.
Bakura:...I *don't have* a drinking problem.
Ryou:...Of course you don't. You just need to...ease up off of liquor for a while.
Bakura: I *don't* have a drinking problem. You act like my kidneys are going to fail.
Ryou: Every time I see you, you've got a drink in your hand; how are you not an alcoholic?
Bakura: Because I don't wake up in the middle of the night sweating because my body needs alcohol. (looks around) Like all of *these* pitiful souls.
Ryou: *frowns* That's not a very nice thing to say.
Bakura: It wasn't a very nice thing to bring me here. (pulls out champagne glasses, margaritas, olives and salt out of no where) Now, who wants some?
All in room: O.O
Random person: Must...resist temptation...
Random person: Yeah! You're not gonna get me drinking again! I've been sober for 8 weeks!
Bakura: *sighs* Suit yourself. *sits on the floor and starts making margaritas, drinking them; also pulls out bottles of gin and juice* What a thirst quencher.
Ryou: -.-
Random person:...One won't hurt...right Bob?
Bob: ^o^ Of course not! Drink to your heart's desire! Just remember you still owe me money before you leave this room.
Bakura: (sits drinks on floor) Help yourself.
(all in the room start picking up drinks, drinking them)
Bakura: (to Ryou) See? Look how happy they are.
Ryou: *mouth drops open* I cannot believe you did that!
Bakura: *grins devilishly* Helping people isn't as bad as I thought.
Dimitri: O.O Oh no! *falls over and dies*
Bob: o.o Uh-oh. That was Dimitri. He had kidney failure. ****End Commercial Break****
****Backstage****
*The Yu-gi-ou characters are still laughing as they wait for Seto to get dressed help Monica with her performance.*
Yami Malik: (pointing to Seto's dressing room door) Twinkle toes!!
All: ^_^ (laugh hysterically)
Ryou: Hey, how come it's funny tha Seto can dance anyway? I mean.we can all basically pretty much dance. Except for Tristan. And Tea. And Mai. And Grandpa. And Shadi. And.
Mai: (obviously annoyed) That's why we're not in it! Monica said only beautiful talented people are allowed to dance with her.
Bakura: ...And Seto is dancing with her why?
All: (burst out laughing)
*Monica approached, wearing a J-Lo pink mini made out of velour in the design of sweatpants and a matching jacket that only zips up to her cleavage.*
All: O.O
Ryou: Wow Monica, you look just like J-Lo! Well...almost.
Monica: Yeah, I had trouble getting the blood out since you know she died in it and everything. This hefa got the biggest butt I eva seen-I think she stretched this skirt out of shape or something. Anyway, is Seto ready yet?
Seto: (from behind dressing room door) I'm NOT coming out!
Mokuba: Aw, come on Seto! Let us see!
*The door opens. Seto emerges, face red, wearing baggy jeans and a Wizards jersey over a white t-shirt.*
Seto: (mumbling) This is so humiliating. I can't believe I'm about to do this.
Monica: Aw, now lokitcha, don't you look cute? ^_^
Seto: ...You will all burn in hell for this!
Monica: You won't be saying that when they give you that big fat check after the preformance. Now come on-we on! (snatches Seto towards the stage)
Mokuba: ...Think he suspects anything?
*Suddenly Jennifer Lopez comes out of nowhere*
JL: I hope she doesn't ruin my material. I had that made especially for this show.
All: O.O
Yugi: I thought you were dead!
JL: Nah. Mokuba asked me for a favor to hook up his brother and Monica. We go way back.
Mokuba: ^_^ Thanks J-Lo! You're the best!
JL: It's cool. Don't forget to buy my new album! (starts to walk away when a large snadbag falls on her head, breaking her neck.) X.X
All: O.O
Mokuba: Better get stage crew.
****Onstage****
*Music to "Faded" starts up*
Monica: (into mic) Oh yeah. This the hotness right her.
Seto: (rolls eyes) Let's just get this over with.
*They start to dance to the music. Seto's actually very good.*
Monica: Hey now! (singing) When I get you all alone, I'm gonna take off all ya clothes! Ain't nobody gone ease around my game, oh yeah!
Seto: O.O
Monica: E'r since you been hangin' round, I been tryin' ta figa out what I can say to you to get some play-hey now!
Chorus: Can we do what we did last night again? Baby you and I'll be betta friends.
Monica: (touching Seto suggestively) Don't you think it's time we went a bit further-oh yeah!
Chorus: Every night when we say goodbye, I cannot help lookin' in your eyes.
Monica: Wonderin' why you and I haven't hit it-can we get it on?
Seto: (still dancing to music) This is sick.
Chorus: I'm kind of feignin' but I feel alright. Thinkin' bout makin' my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holding my body tight. Cause I like the way you make me move, and I like the way you're makin' me wait, and at the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be comin' on home with me.
Monica: Hey now!
Seto: (starts singing, actually sounding pretty good) Girl you know you got it; I sure as hell don't want it. I ain't gonna take you home you sick ass pervert hentai. I don't mean to be rude at all, I don't wanna be where you go. I would rather be alone, yeah yeah.
Chorus: Can we do what we did last night again?
Seto: Baby you and I were never friends. Don't you think it's time you left me alone?
Chorus: Every night when we say good bye, I cannot help looking in your eyes.
Seto: Wondering why I don't have time to take a (omitted)-can we end this song?
Chorus: I'm kinda feignin but I feel alright, thinkin bout makin my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holdin my body tight. Cause I like the way you make me move, and I like the way you make me wait, and at the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be comin on home with me.
Mokuba: (rapping) When ya'll first met yo the deal was jaded, Moni loved her Tims; you never conversated. Just another day around the way, and to this day, you're still not okay.
Seto: (still dancing) -_-
Mokuba: (still rapping) But he's not like the rest, up in the top with the best, floss and ice around his chest. And yes he's hated-how's it go? Oh, yeah, Faded.
*After Chorus song ends*
Audience: *claps loudly*
Monica: Hey Mokuba, I didn't know you could rap!
Mokuba: Oh yeah, G, I can rap. I'm down with the lingo, know what I'm sayin'?
Monica: ...Quit while you're ahead baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ OK!
Seto: What're you doing out here anyway Mokuba?
Mokuba: Actually I came out here to tell you guys that Jennifer Lopez just died.
Seto: Yeah, we know.
Mokuba: No, for real this time. A giant sandbag fell on her head and snapped her neck. Stage crew put her in a body bag and threw her in the back with the rest of the corpses. That's 3 artists that have died so far. Monica I'm starting to agree with Laura. We should do something.
Monica: And we will baby. After this commercial break.
****Commercial Break****
Continuation : (all yami and hikari at Olive Garden)
Waiter: (to Yami Malik) Um excuse me sir, you can't eat the ice cream like that.
Yami Malik: Really? (stabs waiter in the thigh) How about now?
Malik: Wow food AND entertainment. Yuugi, you sure pick some nice places for dinner.
Ryou: ^o^ Agreed!
Yuugi:...I don't care...Avril's not here to enjoy it with me...
Malik: That's because she's dead.
Ryou: As a doornail.
Yuugi: O.O (bursts out crying) Avril! I miss you! It's been too long and I'm lost without you! What am I gonna do???
Malik:...That's just wrong.
Yuugi: (blows his nose on the tablecloth) I've been needing you, wanting you!
Ryou: (raises eyebrow) Yuugi, you realize Avril never knew you personally. So you wasting all your energy crying...(has flashback of Yuugi describing all the things he wanted to do with Avril; shudders) Among other things...Is just wasting your time.
Bakura: (grabs Piña Colada from nearby table) She's dead, face it. And she's not coming back. She's dead. DEAD. As in not living, taking a permanent nap, sleeping eternally; claimed by the Reaper of Cards.
Yuugi:...(whimpers) That's just mean!!! She'll always be in my heart! Living on!!
Bakura: Really. Hopefully she'll find a way to puncture your veins from the inside out so you'll bleed to death.
Yuugi: AND SHE WASN'T A CARD!!!!
Waiter: (come back with drinks limping slightly) Here you are. Are you ready to order?
Yami Malik: (runs over to the table screaming for no apparent reason) LICK HER!!!!
Waiter: (panics, screams)
Yami Malik: (cocks head to the side slightly) Lick her?
*TO BE CONTINUED* ****End Commercial Break****
**** Lady Sephiroth: Don't forget to vote and thanks for doing that thing!
Malik: HELP ME!!!!
Griffin: ^-^ Don't be silly! You don't need help! I've decided to free you!
Malik: *eyes water* Really??
L-Seph: No.
Griffin: -.- Yes really. See, I've decided that you don't deserve to be tortured. You're too beautiful. So I bought Teà as a peace offering to you instead. We can torture her!
Malik: ^-^ Good idea!
Teà: You don't wanna do this!!! I'm useless!
Griffin: We know! Oh before we begin, reviewers, I'd like to thank you. And also I'd like to know if you want me to continue my Bakura commercial, the Alcoholic one. I'll probably do it anyway, but it's nice to know your thoughts. ^.^ Also, feel free to volunteer for my commercials anytime. I've got a lot of random people in my commercials, and I think it's best that the reviewers are there instead. Um, mostly Bakura and Malik commercials, and I think I'm making a Mokuba commercial.
Malik: Sen Taro Taisensei, she's putting Duke Devlin and Mako Tsunami in here...at your request.
Griffin: ^.^
Lady Sephiroth: You've got issues.
Yami: *bows humbly to Lady Sephiroth* Would you like me to send them to the Shadow Realm, Mistress?
L-Seph:...Let me think about that.
Yami Malik: ^__________^ You update too fast!! Then you don't have any reviewers to thank!!!
Griffin: -.- Well you know I do have a life, Yami!! And there are very mean parents in it, that don't like me on the Internet. They like to make me do OTHER things, because supposedly, there's more to life than the Internet.
Malik: *snorts* Yeah right. And I'm know for random acts of kindess.
Yami Malik: ^_______^ Untrue! I'm thanking the reviewers!! ^________^ Thank you, ACME-Rian.
Malik: *grins deviously* Thank you, Malik's gurl. Apparently Griff likes you.
Griffin: ^o^ Right right!
Dimitri: Why did you kill me, Grffi-chan?
Griffin: Because I knew you wouldn't take offense, you're immortal, and at the time, it was funny to me. Now stop talking! Or they'll never review. *points to Yami* Don't you say anything behind that.
Yami: -.-
Monica: That's cause we're the comedy baby! And anyway, no one's funnier than Yami Malik.
Mokuba: ?_? I thought you said that he was very creepy.
Monica: (whispering) Yeah, and I think he stalkin' me. I don't wanna get killed or anything.
Yami Malik: (grinning evilly from backstage)
Laura: Anyway, it's nice to know that Malik finally got some credit for something. For all the abuse we put him through, we always forget to honor him as one of the most important Yu-gi-oh Characters of all time.
Monica: Ok, enough with the kissing of the ass. You know what Mokuba, my favorite award is coming up.
Mokuba: What?
Monica: Cutest Bishonen. Whoever wins will also get a night out on the town with me and Laura. It's the biggest award here. So reviewers, don't forget to vote! It's ver important-who I'm seen with in public will either make me or break me.
Laura: ...Yes, well anyway, we've got more wonderful awards to present. We don't want you to forget that the female characters are just as important as the male characters. Here to present the award for Best Female Character are two men who certainly have a very respectful view of women-Solomon and Yami.
*Host/hostesses exit, presenters enter*
Yami: (one hand in pocket, grinning mischieviously) You know grandpa, girls are hot.
Grandpa: I agree. Girls are very hot.
Yami: Yes. Especially virgins with large breasts.
Grandpa: Really Yami? You're a breast man? ^_^ So'm I!
Yami: Actually, I'm from Egypt, and our women had large butts and thighs, so while I like breasts-A LOT-I'll have to say that I'm a butt and thigh man myself. (grinning shamelessly) I must have something to grab while we're (omitted due to content).
Audience: O.O
Yami Malik: (laughing maniacally) Monica...!
Yami: Yes, like Monica. I will definitely be going out on a date with both her and Laura Croft. And it won't be because I won Cutest Bishounen.
Laura: (from backstage) You're sick Yami! We don't perform those kinds of services!
Grandpa: Hmm, you don't find Laura's bust to be intimidating Yami?
Yami: Actually, I look of it as a mountain. And like the song says, "Ain't no mountain high enough."
Guys in audience: *cheer wildly*
Yami: (grins devilishly) And ain't no valley low enough.
Monica: (from backstage) Hey now! I'd love to wash in his old bathwater-oh yeah!
Grandpa: ^_^ Perhaps we should present the award for Best Female Character.
Yami: Just so you all know, this award is based largely on the woman's shape and how they'd look in a bikini. All male members of the show-and Monica-voted on this award. It was quite close, let me assure you.
Grandpa: Yes, quite close. And the nominees for Best Female Character are...
MV: Mai!
Guys in audience: *wolf whistles*
Mai: (rolling eyes) Get off it.
MV: Serenity!
GIA: *cheers wildly*
Serenity: (smiling, blushing) Thanks!
MV: Ishizu Ishtar!
GIA: *wolf calls, other obscene comments, wild, almost drunken cheering*
Isis: (blinks)
MV: And Tea!
Tea: Whoo-hoo!
Audience: *is dead silent*
*frog croaks*
Tea: -_- Why am I always the one who's being abused?
Grandpa: (grinning) Open the envelope Yugi-I want to see who won!
Yami: It's Yami. Yugi wouldn't have the balls to be up here. (opens envelope) And the winner is.Isis!
Audience: *goes completely wild*
*Isis approaches the podium*
Isis: Thank you, but I cannot accept this award. You see, if was not given to me because of my brains or actual importance in the show. It was given to me because I look good in a bikini. That is so shallow. I refuse to participate in this disgusting category. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Women are not objects. We are free independent creatures, and without us, none of you would even exist.
Mai: Preach it sister!
Yami: Then we'll just give it to Serenity.
Serenity: Actually, I don't want it. I'm allergic to gold.
Tea: I'll take it!
Yami: (looks around) Did you hear someone speaking?
Grandpa: No. Let's go use this thing to hurt someone.
Yami: We'll beat Tea with it. She's a *beep* anyway.
Grandpa: ^_^ Good idea!
*Presenters/Isis walk offstage. Camera focuses center stage where the podium is.*
Monica: We've just received word that the following artists have been mysteriously killed: Lopez, Jennifer. That is all.
Laura: (obviously sickened by the thought) Someone put a sickle through her head.
Mokuba: ^_^ It was so cool! Just like it is in the horror shows! Except real!
Laura: Mokuba, this is serious! Someone's killing off these artists! What if one of us is next!?
Monica: A woman with guns should never doubt herself. Which brings me to my next point. Jenny was supposed to perform her hit "I'm Real", and obviously, her death got to her before we could. We need a musical performance in that slot.
Mokuba: Monica, you can sing and dance!
Monica: ...^_^ Why yes Mokuba. Yes I can.
Mokuba: Why don't you do something?
Monica: This is very much on the spot, but fortunately I've prepared for this occasion with a little routine that I had to take from Soul Decision- whose talent couldn't fill up a baby pacifier.
Mokuba: Who's Soul Decision?
Monica: Me! It's my sole decision to have yo fine ass brotha up here to help me with this routine.
Seto: O.O
*The other Yu-gi-oh cast members conveniently burst out laughing*
Malik: Seto, you can dance?!
Seto: (blushing madly) NO, I DON'T DANCE!
Yugi: Now that I think about it, didn't I see you coming out of a dance studio before you got here?
Seto: THAT WASN'T ME!!
Yami: Yeah right. Who was it, your Yami?
Mokuba: (grinning sweetly) Don't be silly big brother! Usher asked you to be one of the dancers in his next video! Of course you can dance! You just don't like to do it in public.
Monica: (grinning mischievously) Is that so. Usher, you say? One of the biggest entertainers in the R&B industry?
Seto: (obviously panicking) There's no way I'm getting up on that stage! You can't prove that I can dance!
Malik: Well, I can dance. I'll gladly dance with you Monica!
Monica: Baby, we can dance later-oh yeah!
Mokuba: Come on Seto! We've got extra airspace and we need to fill it! (proceeds with puppy dog eyes) Please big brother? For me?
Monica: Hey now!
Seto: (grumbling) Fine. But I demand that this not be aired on Television.
Laura: What're you talking about Seto? We're live.
Seto: O.O
Audience: *laughs*
*Monica takes Seto's hand and drags him backstage*
Laura: While they're preparing an impromptu performance-which is very likely to go wrong-we're going to a commercial break.
Mokuba: We'll be back after a word from our sponsers! ^_^ I love saying that!
****Commercial Break****
Yami: Hi. This is my good friend, the Dills-berry Troe-boy.
Yuugi: O,O Um.I thought it was the Pillsbury Doughboy...
Yami: SILENCE!!
Dills-berry Troe-boy: o.o
Yami: Ahem...He helps me when Yuugi comes in from a long day of school, getting beat up and such, and we make cinnamon rolls. Isn't that right?
Dills-berry Troe-boy: (in sing-song) My fart to yours...
Yuugi: O,O Um...Yami, I don't think...he's the same...
Yami: -_- Yuugi, not now. In fact, we just made some cinnamon rolls! Let's see how they turned out! (puts on oven mittens and takes out cinnamon rolls)
Yuugi: Hmm that smells...O-O HORRIBLE!!! WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!
Yami: Um...Dill made them. (points to DT)
DT: Their my baked roach cinnamon rolls! Hoo Hoo!
Yuugi:...That's rancid! Avril, my dear! I'm ready to join you!!!
****End commercial****
(Ryou has placed a blindfold over Bakura's eyes for a *surprise* .)
Ryou: (takes blindfold off of Bakura) Surprise!!!
Bakura: (holding martini glass filled with Grey Goose Vodka, sipping casually) What the hell, Ryou? (looks around to see people staring at him)...You will have *the most* painful...(looks up to see a giant sign that says: "ACOHOLICS ANONYMOUS") -.- I'm not an alcoholic Ryou.
Ryou: (decides to ignore his yami's interesting choice of words)...This is Bob.
Bob: Hi. I'm Bob.
Bakura: -.- (still sipping vodka) You don't say.
Ryou: He said that maybe you...might be in denial of being an alcoholic. Understand that I only want what's best for you, and you'll get along just fine here.
Bakura:...I *don't have* a drinking problem.
Ryou:...Of course you don't. You just need to...ease up off of liquor for a while.
Bakura: I *don't* have a drinking problem. You act like my kidneys are going to fail.
Ryou: Every time I see you, you've got a drink in your hand; how are you not an alcoholic?
Bakura: Because I don't wake up in the middle of the night sweating because my body needs alcohol. (looks around) Like all of *these* pitiful souls.
Ryou: *frowns* That's not a very nice thing to say.
Bakura: It wasn't a very nice thing to bring me here. (pulls out champagne glasses, margaritas, olives and salt out of no where) Now, who wants some?
All in room: O.O
Random person: Must...resist temptation...
Random person: Yeah! You're not gonna get me drinking again! I've been sober for 8 weeks!
Bakura: *sighs* Suit yourself. *sits on the floor and starts making margaritas, drinking them; also pulls out bottles of gin and juice* What a thirst quencher.
Ryou: -.-
Random person:...One won't hurt...right Bob?
Bob: ^o^ Of course not! Drink to your heart's desire! Just remember you still owe me money before you leave this room.
Bakura: (sits drinks on floor) Help yourself.
(all in the room start picking up drinks, drinking them)
Bakura: (to Ryou) See? Look how happy they are.
Ryou: *mouth drops open* I cannot believe you did that!
Bakura: *grins devilishly* Helping people isn't as bad as I thought.
Dimitri: O.O Oh no! *falls over and dies*
Bob: o.o Uh-oh. That was Dimitri. He had kidney failure. ****End Commercial Break****
****Backstage****
*The Yu-gi-ou characters are still laughing as they wait for Seto to get dressed help Monica with her performance.*
Yami Malik: (pointing to Seto's dressing room door) Twinkle toes!!
All: ^_^ (laugh hysterically)
Ryou: Hey, how come it's funny tha Seto can dance anyway? I mean.we can all basically pretty much dance. Except for Tristan. And Tea. And Mai. And Grandpa. And Shadi. And.
Mai: (obviously annoyed) That's why we're not in it! Monica said only beautiful talented people are allowed to dance with her.
Bakura: ...And Seto is dancing with her why?
All: (burst out laughing)
*Monica approached, wearing a J-Lo pink mini made out of velour in the design of sweatpants and a matching jacket that only zips up to her cleavage.*
All: O.O
Ryou: Wow Monica, you look just like J-Lo! Well...almost.
Monica: Yeah, I had trouble getting the blood out since you know she died in it and everything. This hefa got the biggest butt I eva seen-I think she stretched this skirt out of shape or something. Anyway, is Seto ready yet?
Seto: (from behind dressing room door) I'm NOT coming out!
Mokuba: Aw, come on Seto! Let us see!
*The door opens. Seto emerges, face red, wearing baggy jeans and a Wizards jersey over a white t-shirt.*
Seto: (mumbling) This is so humiliating. I can't believe I'm about to do this.
Monica: Aw, now lokitcha, don't you look cute? ^_^
Seto: ...You will all burn in hell for this!
Monica: You won't be saying that when they give you that big fat check after the preformance. Now come on-we on! (snatches Seto towards the stage)
Mokuba: ...Think he suspects anything?
*Suddenly Jennifer Lopez comes out of nowhere*
JL: I hope she doesn't ruin my material. I had that made especially for this show.
All: O.O
Yugi: I thought you were dead!
JL: Nah. Mokuba asked me for a favor to hook up his brother and Monica. We go way back.
Mokuba: ^_^ Thanks J-Lo! You're the best!
JL: It's cool. Don't forget to buy my new album! (starts to walk away when a large snadbag falls on her head, breaking her neck.) X.X
All: O.O
Mokuba: Better get stage crew.
****Onstage****
*Music to "Faded" starts up*
Monica: (into mic) Oh yeah. This the hotness right her.
Seto: (rolls eyes) Let's just get this over with.
*They start to dance to the music. Seto's actually very good.*
Monica: Hey now! (singing) When I get you all alone, I'm gonna take off all ya clothes! Ain't nobody gone ease around my game, oh yeah!
Seto: O.O
Monica: E'r since you been hangin' round, I been tryin' ta figa out what I can say to you to get some play-hey now!
Chorus: Can we do what we did last night again? Baby you and I'll be betta friends.
Monica: (touching Seto suggestively) Don't you think it's time we went a bit further-oh yeah!
Chorus: Every night when we say goodbye, I cannot help lookin' in your eyes.
Monica: Wonderin' why you and I haven't hit it-can we get it on?
Seto: (still dancing to music) This is sick.
Chorus: I'm kind of feignin' but I feel alright. Thinkin' bout makin' my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holding my body tight. Cause I like the way you make me move, and I like the way you're makin' me wait, and at the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be comin' on home with me.
Monica: Hey now!
Seto: (starts singing, actually sounding pretty good) Girl you know you got it; I sure as hell don't want it. I ain't gonna take you home you sick ass pervert hentai. I don't mean to be rude at all, I don't wanna be where you go. I would rather be alone, yeah yeah.
Chorus: Can we do what we did last night again?
Seto: Baby you and I were never friends. Don't you think it's time you left me alone?
Chorus: Every night when we say good bye, I cannot help looking in your eyes.
Seto: Wondering why I don't have time to take a (omitted)-can we end this song?
Chorus: I'm kinda feignin but I feel alright, thinkin bout makin my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friend when you're holdin my body tight. Cause I like the way you make me move, and I like the way you make me wait, and at the end of the night when I make up your mind you'll be comin on home with me.
Mokuba: (rapping) When ya'll first met yo the deal was jaded, Moni loved her Tims; you never conversated. Just another day around the way, and to this day, you're still not okay.
Seto: (still dancing) -_-
Mokuba: (still rapping) But he's not like the rest, up in the top with the best, floss and ice around his chest. And yes he's hated-how's it go? Oh, yeah, Faded.
*After Chorus song ends*
Audience: *claps loudly*
Monica: Hey Mokuba, I didn't know you could rap!
Mokuba: Oh yeah, G, I can rap. I'm down with the lingo, know what I'm sayin'?
Monica: ...Quit while you're ahead baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ OK!
Seto: What're you doing out here anyway Mokuba?
Mokuba: Actually I came out here to tell you guys that Jennifer Lopez just died.
Seto: Yeah, we know.
Mokuba: No, for real this time. A giant sandbag fell on her head and snapped her neck. Stage crew put her in a body bag and threw her in the back with the rest of the corpses. That's 3 artists that have died so far. Monica I'm starting to agree with Laura. We should do something.
Monica: And we will baby. After this commercial break.
****Commercial Break****
Continuation : (all yami and hikari at Olive Garden)
Waiter: (to Yami Malik) Um excuse me sir, you can't eat the ice cream like that.
Yami Malik: Really? (stabs waiter in the thigh) How about now?
Malik: Wow food AND entertainment. Yuugi, you sure pick some nice places for dinner.
Ryou: ^o^ Agreed!
Yuugi:...I don't care...Avril's not here to enjoy it with me...
Malik: That's because she's dead.
Ryou: As a doornail.
Yuugi: O.O (bursts out crying) Avril! I miss you! It's been too long and I'm lost without you! What am I gonna do???
Malik:...That's just wrong.
Yuugi: (blows his nose on the tablecloth) I've been needing you, wanting you!
Ryou: (raises eyebrow) Yuugi, you realize Avril never knew you personally. So you wasting all your energy crying...(has flashback of Yuugi describing all the things he wanted to do with Avril; shudders) Among other things...Is just wasting your time.
Bakura: (grabs Piña Colada from nearby table) She's dead, face it. And she's not coming back. She's dead. DEAD. As in not living, taking a permanent nap, sleeping eternally; claimed by the Reaper of Cards.
Yuugi:...(whimpers) That's just mean!!! She'll always be in my heart! Living on!!
Bakura: Really. Hopefully she'll find a way to puncture your veins from the inside out so you'll bleed to death.
Yuugi: AND SHE WASN'T A CARD!!!!
Waiter: (come back with drinks limping slightly) Here you are. Are you ready to order?
Yami Malik: (runs over to the table screaming for no apparent reason) LICK HER!!!!
Waiter: (panics, screams)
Yami Malik: (cocks head to the side slightly) Lick her?
*TO BE CONTINUED* ****End Commercial Break****
**** Lady Sephiroth: Don't forget to vote and thanks for doing that thing!
Malik: HELP ME!!!!
Griffin: ^-^ Don't be silly! You don't need help! I've decided to free you!
Malik: *eyes water* Really??
L-Seph: No.
Griffin: -.- Yes really. See, I've decided that you don't deserve to be tortured. You're too beautiful. So I bought Teà as a peace offering to you instead. We can torture her!
Malik: ^-^ Good idea!
Teà: You don't wanna do this!!! I'm useless!
Griffin: We know! Oh before we begin, reviewers, I'd like to thank you. And also I'd like to know if you want me to continue my Bakura commercial, the Alcoholic one. I'll probably do it anyway, but it's nice to know your thoughts. ^.^ Also, feel free to volunteer for my commercials anytime. I've got a lot of random people in my commercials, and I think it's best that the reviewers are there instead. Um, mostly Bakura and Malik commercials, and I think I'm making a Mokuba commercial.
Malik: Sen Taro Taisensei, she's putting Duke Devlin and Mako Tsunami in here...at your request.
Griffin: ^.^
Lady Sephiroth: You've got issues.
Yami: *bows humbly to Lady Sephiroth* Would you like me to send them to the Shadow Realm, Mistress?
L-Seph:...Let me think about that.
Yami Malik: ^__________^ You update too fast!! Then you don't have any reviewers to thank!!!
Griffin: -.- Well you know I do have a life, Yami!! And there are very mean parents in it, that don't like me on the Internet. They like to make me do OTHER things, because supposedly, there's more to life than the Internet.
Malik: *snorts* Yeah right. And I'm know for random acts of kindess.
Yami Malik: ^_______^ Untrue! I'm thanking the reviewers!! ^________^ Thank you, ACME-Rian.
Malik: *grins deviously* Thank you, Malik's gurl. Apparently Griff likes you.
Griffin: ^o^ Right right!
Dimitri: Why did you kill me, Grffi-chan?
Griffin: Because I knew you wouldn't take offense, you're immortal, and at the time, it was funny to me. Now stop talking! Or they'll never review. *points to Yami* Don't you say anything behind that.
Yami: -.-