*camera focuses on podium*
Laura: Welcome back to the first annual Millenium Awards! I'm your hostess Laura Croft.
Monica: And I'm yo' guide to the world of ghetto, Monica.
Mokuba: And I'm the impromptu but still adorable host Mokuba!
Seto: And I'm in hell. Officially.
Laura: ^_^ It's nice that you decided to host with us Seto and help us to find out who's killing these artists.
Seto: -_- I didn't. (holds up left hand, revealing that he is cuffed to Monica.)
Monica: (holding up cuffed hand) Oh yeah!
Laura: Well if you're just tuning in...
Monica: Which we know you're not.
Laura: ...Monica and Seto just preformed their rendition of Soul Decision's song "Faded" to fill in a missing time slot.
Mokuba: If you're wondering how in the world they managed to choreograph that, it's through the magic of a little thing call imagination.
Monica: In other words, you're reading this script off a computer screen, so it didn't really happen. We just like to pretend like it did.
Laura: -_- That's so uncouth Monica.
Monica: ^_^ But true.
Seto: *begins to examine cuffs closely in hopes of getting out of them*
Monica: *grins mischievously* Don't even think about it handsome. We'll be here for a while. And now to present the award for Sexiest Dubbed Voice, here's two very unsexy duel monsters, Sliffer and Obelisk!
*presenters enter, hosts/hostesses exit*
Obelisk: ^_^ Hi Seto! (waves)
Kaiba: *desperately from backstage* Please help me!!
O: What a nice man.
Sliffer: O.o Yeah, um...we're here to present the award for sexiest dubbed voice.
O: Did you know Ra is going to be in the preformance with Josey Scott and that Chad Kroeger guy?
S: No, I didn't.
O: ^_^ That's so nice!
S: ...Stop smiling. You look creepy when you do that.
O: I can't help it! I'm just a little ray of sunshine! ^_^
S: ...Really. I thought you were a massive being of force and destruction.
O: Nope! In truth, I don't really like violence. It's evil. It doesn't solve anything-only creates more problems.
S:...Then why are you here?
O: Well I have to pay rent don't I? ^_^ Silly Sliffer-kun!
S: O.o
O: And now here are the nominees for sexiest dubbed voice!
MV: Malik!
Malik: I'm just sexy period.
Fangirls in audience: *screaming/crying*
MV: This is true. Bakura!
Bakura: *calmly sipping on wine glass full of Le Cognac De Napoleon Courvoisier, one hand in pocket* Thank you, my mindless public.
Fangirls: *continues screaming/crying*
MV: Yami!
Yami: *flashes incredibly sexy grin* Thanks.
Fangirls: *begin to faint*
MV: And Seto Kaiba!
Kaiba: *STILL cuffed to Monica* Who cares? I'm not gonna win.
O: ^_^ Don't say that Kaiba! You just never know! Sliffer, open the envelope, if you please.
S: *opens envelope* And the winner is...Bakura.
Fangirls in audience: *begin to go into hysterics, breaking things, screaming/cheering/crying*
Bakura: *approaches stage ever so calmly, oozing coolness; takes Milli in hand not occupied by drink* Thank you. This is *such* an honor.
O: ^_^ Congratulations Bakura! You deserve it!
Bakura: *grins ever so sexily* I know.
Random fangirl: I love you Bakura!
Bakura: ...I'm sure.
FG: He spoke to me! *faints*
Bakura: ...Right. Thank you. *walks off, followed by EGC*
Audience: *claps politely*
Obelisk: Well, that was fun! ^_^
Sliffer:...I'm sure.
Laura: And now that that's been settled, we'll move right along.
Seto: (still trying to free himself from Monica, struggling)
Monica: Don't do that Seto. I'll break your wrist. ^_^
Seto: O.O
Mokuba: Monica, I'm going backstage to get more drinks, do you want anything?
Monica: (sweetly, as if Mokuba is the cutest thing ever) Now baby, you know Monica will take whatever you give her.
Mokuba: ^_^ I know, but it's common courtesy. (leaves to obtain drinks)
Seto: (calling after him) While you're back there, see if you can find Monica's sanity.
Monica: It's not lost. ^_^ I had Yami send it to the Shadow Realm. I owed the Reaper of The Cards a favor.
Seto: O_o
Laura: (obviously embarrassed by Monica) Yes well, before we present our next award, we will have a live performance from the people you've all been waiting for: Linkin Park!
Audience: *cheers loudly, whistling*
Monica: But before that, I need to give Laura a little piece of advice.
Laura: What's that?
Monica: Always let me announce the performances. You sound super(omitted).
Laura: -.- Well, thank you Monica. That's kind.
Monica: ^_^
Mokuba: (comes back with two cups of regular Bacardi) What did I miss?
Monica: (takes one cup from Mokuba) Nothing. Thank you baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ Welcome!
Seto: (still trying to get free) Mokuba, are you drinking alcohol?
Mokuba: (sips casually) Maybe.
Seto: -.-
Monica: Now that I've got my drink, here's what you've all been waiting for...
Seto: The end of the show?
Monica:...A live performance of "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park...I have just recently been told that they will be featuring Ryou Bakura! So let's get it on! Oh yeah!
Laura: You can't say that on national television! Do you know what people might be thinking?!
Monica: That's why we all have imaginations. ^_^
Laura: -.-
*hosts/hostesses exit, and curtains lift up to reveal the Linkin Park band...and Ryou* *music starts*
Audience: *cheering wildly; loudly*
Random fan girl: I love you Mike!!!
Ryou and Chester: When this began...
Seto: I have nothing to say...
Monica: *whacks Seto upside his head*
Mike:...and not get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
R&C: I was confused...
M: And I'd let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind.
R&C: Inside of me...
M: With all the vacancy, the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.
R&C: Nothin to lose...
M: Just stuck hollow and alone and the fault is my own and the fault is my own...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real; I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long...
M: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
R: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna find something I wanted all along, somewhere I belong...
Monica: O.O He actually sound pretty nice. ^_^
Seto: (monotone, obviously watching from the back) I've got nothing to say, I wish Monica would fall right down on her face.
R&C: (obviously from the stage) I was confused...
Seto: Looking everywhere only to find that Monica is everywhere I am; even my mind.
Monica: *kicks Seto in the groin, quite professionally, considering she's handcuffed to him* You do not diss Linkin Park. That's a no-no. No more talking; oh yeah!
R&C: So what am I?
Mike: What do I have but negativity? Cause I can't justify the way everyone is lookin at me.
R&C: Nothin to lose...
Mike: Nothin to gain, hollow and alone and the fault is my own and the fault is my own...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long...
Mike: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
Ryou: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna find something I wanted all alone, somewhere I belong...
Monica: *is dancing, if that's at all possible; yanking Seto's wrist as much as allowed* Oh yeah!
C: I will never know myself until I do this on my own...
Ryou: And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed...
C: I will never be anything till I break away from me...
Ryou: And I will break away, I'll find myself today...(holds note perfectly)
Monica: O.O Oh yeah!
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long...
Mike: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
Ryou: I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real; I wanna find something I wanted all along, somewhere I belong...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm...
Ryou: Somewhere I belong...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm...
Ryou: Somewhere I belong...
C: Somewhere I belong....
*music ends*
Audience: *screaming*
Jaqulene: I love you, Ryou!!
Ryou: *blushes slightly* Thank you.
Bakura: (talking to fan girl, now sipping a fresh cup of Bacardi Silver) No you don't! If you knew what kind of person he is, you'd hate him! Just like I do!!
Jaqulene: Oh my god!! Bakura spoke to me!! *faints*
Monica:...I'm startin' ta think we need to just put an ambulance in the audience.
(Linkin Park exits, along with Ryou/hosts, hostesses enter)
Laura: Well, now that was entertaining.
Monica: Agreed. Did you like it Mokuba?
Mokuba: (nods) Mm-hmm. I didn't know Ryou could sing. I thought he was gay. That's what I heard.
Monica: Now Mokuba, do you believe everything you hear?
Mokuba: ^_^ Only when it comes from you, Monica!
Monica: That's right, baby. What about our millionaire?
Laura: Yes, did you enjoy it Seto?
(all turn to Seto)
Seto: O.O (bent over in pain)...The swelling's...went down a little...
Mokuba: Seto, what happened??
Monica: He dissed Linkin Park, so I had to do him one better. ^_^ He'll be a'ight, oh yeah.
Mokuba: (obviously hurt, his eyes tear up) Oh, Seto...I'm ashamed...
*the entire audience shuns Seto*
Seto: (voice higher than Mariah Carey's) You can say what you want...could someone get me some ice?...Or a surgeon?...Or perhaps could I just borrow a little bit of your dignity?
Monica: (bends down to help Seto up)
Lookit: Hi Monica, Lookit!!
Monica: (as an automatic reaction, waves) Hey Lookit!!
Seto: Oof!!
Monica: (looks back at Seto to find that when she waved, she elbowed him in the face several times)...That's gon' leave a bit of a mark.
Laura:...You may find this shallow, but we're going to take a commercial break. Apparently, Monica can't be seen on TV with an ugly person, so we have to fix Seto.
Monica: Monica is not trying to ruin her image.
***Commercial Break****
Malik: *walking through the Sahara desert with Teà, who is rambling on an on about "Keep Hope Alive"* By the mercy of Ra woman, will you shut up?!
Teà: But we can make it, Malik! I know we can!
Malik: We're lost because of you, ignorant wench!! And YOU spilled the water, for a SCORPION no less!! Though I must admit, if I had to choose between its' life and yours, I would've gladly gave the water to it!
*a limousine pulls out of no where and rolls Teà over, then rolls over her again several times.*
Bakura: *opens the door from the inside, letting plenty of cold air seep out* Get in.
Malik: ^_^ *gets in, and is instantly cold* Could you...?
Bakura: Hm? Oh, certainly. *taps on the window, the driver backs over Teà several more times*
*an extremely cold Sierra Mist bottle appears on the screen*
Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Bakura: Drink?
Malik: Yes please ^_^
****End Commercial****
(not part of an actual commercial)
Malik: (looking at paper) Yami, Coke wants us to help them boost their sales...
Yami Malik: Shuffle, duffle, muzzle muff! Fista, wista, mista-cuff! We are men of groans and howls, mystic men who eat boiled owls. Tell us what you wish, oh King. Our magic can do anything!!
Malik: O.o Where did you get that from?
Yami Malik: No where!! Where did you get that from??
Malik: *looks around* What?
Yami Malik: That! *snatches one of his earrings out of his ears, begins to run*
Malik: Give that back! *chases his yami*
(the ACTUAL Coke TM commercial)
Malik: Hi. That's my yami. (points behind him)
Yami Malik: (to cashier) Give me this candy...free. And all of this Coke! (turns around to reveal carts and carts of candy and Coke)
Cashier: I can't do that, sir.
Yami Malik: *whips out Millenium dagger* How about now?
Cashier: O.O Now is good. (begins to bag groceries)
Yami Malik: Won't look like rain. Won't look like snow. Won't look like fog. That's all we know. (as if talking to the cashier) We just can't tell you any more. We've never made oobleck before. (laughs maniacally) FASTER!!!
Cashier: O.O Um yessir.
Malik: (turns back to screen) Wanna know how he got so much authority? Well, take a look at him. He's on a sugar high.
Yami Malik: We go now to our secret cave, on Mystic Mountain Neeka-tave. There, all night long, we'll work for you, and you'll have oobleck when we're through!
Malik: *sighs, sweatdrops* He drinks too much Coke; which gives him a sugar high; thus he's fearless. And when you're fearless, you're pretty dangerous. I'm not encouraging you to drink Coke, I'm just saying. You know a 12 oz. can of Coke has about 42 grams of sugar in it. (points to Yami Malik again) Observe.
Yami Malik: Oh snow and rain are not enough! Oh, we must make some brand- new stuff! So feed the fire with wet mouse hair, burn an onion! Burn a chair! Burn a whisker from your chin! And burn a long sour lizard skin!
Malik: You wanna rob a bank? *shrugs* Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: Burn yellow twigs and burn red rust! And burn a stocking full of dust! Make magic smoke green, thick, and hot! It sure smells dreadful, does it not? *dances gleefully*
Malik: You wanna commit first degree murder with no conscience? *shrugs* Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: That means the smoke is now just right! So quick! Before the day gets light, go magic smoke! Go high! Go high! Go rise into the kingdom's sky!
Malik: Wanna frame your in-laws for chivalry? Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: Go make the oobleck tumble down! On every street, on every town!
Malik: Grand larceny? Why not? Coke.
Yami Malik: Go make the wondrous oobleck fall! Oh, bring down oobleck on us all!! (laughs maniacally) Didn't I tell you to hurry?!
Malik: Commit any crime you want, just make sure you're completely unaware, but aware. Yami.
Yami Malik: Guessles yessles?
Malik: *raises eyebrow* We're leaving.
****
(after commercial has aired)
Director: Malik, you and your yami just encouraged every person worldwide to commit whatever crime they wanted!!
Malik:...But I promoted your drink.
D: You promoted mass destruction!!
Malik:....And your drink.
Yami Malik: Can I snap his neck?
Malik:...No.
Yami Malik: Can I snap his neck? (points to person)
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: What about her?
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: You?
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: Can I snap MY neck??
Malik: Feel free to try.
Yami Malik: *attempts to snap his own neck* What if it doesn't work?
Malik: Then by the gods, Yami, do keep trying.
*TO BE CONCLUDED*
****End Commercial Break****
Laura: Well, that was.odd. Um, we are now about to present you, our lovely audience, with yet another award. Moving right along, aren't we? And see how we fixed Seto?
*all look toward a very beautiful, fresh, good-looking, and rather unhappy Seto*
Mokuba: Wow. He looks as good as new. He's making that same facial expression and everything. What did you do?
Monica: I made a miracle baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ The award that we are now presenting is Hottest Male Duelist! Presented by a very strung-out looking Duke Devlin, and is accompanied by Mako Tsunami!
*hosts/hostesses exit, presenters enter*
Random fangirl: Duke I love you!!
Duke: I love me too.
Mako: O.o I do not understand why my connection with the sea is fading...
Duke: -.- Perhaps it's because you're inside of a building.
Mako: *sweatdrops* That might have something to do with it...
****
Griffin: I know it's kind of short, but oh well. It's tough putting all this energy into a story.
Lady Sephiroth: -.- You haven't done anything.
Griffin: ^.^' That's not true. Well, feel free to review. Oh and I need people to be in my commercials, so feel free to ask. ^_^ I like my commercials.
Yami Malik: Twas brillig in the slithy tothes, did gire and the grimble wabe, all mimsy were the borogroves...
Griffin: ^_^ And the momwraths outgabe. Alright, enough of the insane poetry, Yami Malik.
Yami Malik: *laughs maniacally* Can I snap your neck?
Griffin: O_o Maybe later, sweetheart.
Yami Malik: Yay! *dances*
Malik: You know, I can't find any way to torture Teà. Maybe the reviewers can help.
Griffin: Uh, Yami Malik and I...as much as we want to, do not own Dr. Seuss, or his book, Bartholomew and the Oobleck. Well, I *own* it, but it's not mine to um...It's Dr. Seuss' book. He wrote it, not me. Also we don't own The Jaberwocky. And in a desperate attempt to persuade the author to give it to us, we sought him out, only to find that he is very very dead.
Yami Malik: I was going to kill him anyway. Right after he changed his will to read that I inherit all copyright-thingies to all his poems ^___________^
Griffin: Uh-huh.
Yami: (to Lady Sephiroth) Is there any thing I can service you, my Mistress of all Evil?
L-Seph: That's like music to my ears. ^____^ You can thank the reviewers.
Yami: (bows) Yes, of course. Special thanks to: Time Mage, Smiley, ACME- Rian, Pheonix Pandora, Duel Mistress K, Malik's Gurl, ACME-Rian again, Yami's Girl 3000, special thanks to you. (smiles in his ever so sexy way) LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd, Smiley again, Space Case, Seirei queen of Darkness, Internal Dragon, Smiley again, and SenRyoko-TaiHanyou.
Yami Malik: o.O Too many reviewers. Can I stab some of them?
Griff: No!
Yami Malik: Thank the people!! Thank the people!!
Griff: O.o Okay...
Time Mage: It's nice that you've decided to read my story in fresh clothes. Did you use any of the laundry detergent I advertised? ^_^
Smiley: Yes, I've heard that song called Nobody's Fool where she *quite* unsuccessfully tries to rap. It's a shame isn't it? That's about the saddest song I think I've ever heard. *sweatdrops* Oh, and I had no idea Seto could dance either. o.O Smiley, I heard you the first time!! It's not easy updating when your okina thinks there's more to life then the Internet.
Malik: *scoffs* Who came up with that whack idea?
Bakura: Her old man. I never did like him.
Griff: Bakura doesn't like him because my dad keeps telling me he's an imaginary person. ^_^
ACME-Rian: I have no idea what WOEICS is. *sweatdrops* And I've put you in my story as stage crew; is that alright? You're like a reporter. XD Didn't you say something about a Malik commercial? Uh, no wait. I think that was someone else. XD
Pheonix Pandora: lol, Yuugi. Yeah, L-Seph actually typed that part. I was cracking up; I think I hit my head on the floor. Um...whatever floats your boat. Now if it was Yami...oh yeah!
Duel Mistress K: Oh, you liked that part huh? I didn't know Mokuba could rap! *sweatdrops*
L-Seph: -.-' How did you not know, and you did it?
Griff:...I don't know. But they don't *know* I know that they don't know.
L-Seph: They know now.
Griff: ^__^'
Malik's gurl: Well, I'll continue the commercial, but it probably won't show up until part 9 or 10, because I've already done up to part 8. The commercials get worse ^_^ And I'd actually have to make up a commercial for you to be in; well, they're all made up, but you know. See, most of the people in these commercials are being abused, and I don't want to hurt you ^__^ Some people get stabbed, and all kind of things. So unless you're immortal and don't mind abuse (which is mostly from Yami Malik and Bakura) then I'll have to think XD
Yami's Girl 3000: XD Where did you get the idea that Teà is immortal? I like killing her, true, but there's more than one *way* to kill her, so if we can make her immortal (well she obviously is because she keeps coming back, ne?) Alright, I'll see if I can use your idea to kill her. There's only been one of my commercials so far that she was in that she didn't die in O.o I should've killed her XD
People please note that killing Teà is not a fanclub XD And it is only for amusement; if you don't like it, then Yami Malik has something for you. Yami Malik.
Yami Malik: (bends over) Then you can kiss my (omitted; pulls down his pants and moons the reviewers)
L-Seph: O.o
Monica: Yami Malik!!! (takes off belt and beats Yami Malik like he stole a government mule)
Yami Malik: (running, screaming, crying like he's two years old)
Griff: -.- Yami Malik, I did not tell you to pull down your pants and show the reviewers your very nicely colored butt.
Malik: I think he likes being naked.
Yami Malik: (suddenly starts laughing) I'm free, I'm free!!! (takes off *all* of his clothes and throws them haphazardly)
Griff: *colors slightly* Okay....um. I'll just continue thanking the reviewers. (turns away)
Monica: (still beating Yami Malik like he's two) Putcho clothes back on!! I know you her me! Put 'em back on n---a!
Yami Malik: (crying hysterically) I'm sorry mama! I'm sorry!!!! Mama!!! I'm sorry mama!!! I love you!!! Mama please!!! Mama please!!! I'll put 'em back on!!!!
Griff: O.o That's exactly how we used to sound when we got whuppins. ^__^
Yami Malik: Mama!!! Please mama!!!!
L-Seph: Uh, we never got beat for streakin.
Griff: *sweatdrops*
Monica: Put 'em back on or I'mo beat 'em back on you!!!
Yami Malik: (still crying) I'm sorry mama!!!
Griff: -.-'
LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd: Well, just as you asked, more!! XD
Space Case: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I always found my humor very very extremely stupid XD
Seirei queen of darkness: If you think them dying is funny, wait until you find out *why* they're dying. It's so stupid. XD
Internal Dragon: ^___^ I'm glad you like it. And I've read sicker (starts laughing) But yes it is pretty stupid isn't it.
SenRyoko-TaiHanyou: *does an Egyptian jig* Yay! I'm gonna make SenTaro's week!! Yay!!
Well, that's all the reviews since I last updated, so. Um hopefully when we return, Monica will be done whuppin Yami Malik, but if not then that's okay too. I also uploaded my first one-shot called Boot Camp. Check it out, it's so stupid XP
Malik: Stop promoting yourself so they can review!!
Griff: XD Well I be geese. XD Ciao 4 now!
Laura: Welcome back to the first annual Millenium Awards! I'm your hostess Laura Croft.
Monica: And I'm yo' guide to the world of ghetto, Monica.
Mokuba: And I'm the impromptu but still adorable host Mokuba!
Seto: And I'm in hell. Officially.
Laura: ^_^ It's nice that you decided to host with us Seto and help us to find out who's killing these artists.
Seto: -_- I didn't. (holds up left hand, revealing that he is cuffed to Monica.)
Monica: (holding up cuffed hand) Oh yeah!
Laura: Well if you're just tuning in...
Monica: Which we know you're not.
Laura: ...Monica and Seto just preformed their rendition of Soul Decision's song "Faded" to fill in a missing time slot.
Mokuba: If you're wondering how in the world they managed to choreograph that, it's through the magic of a little thing call imagination.
Monica: In other words, you're reading this script off a computer screen, so it didn't really happen. We just like to pretend like it did.
Laura: -_- That's so uncouth Monica.
Monica: ^_^ But true.
Seto: *begins to examine cuffs closely in hopes of getting out of them*
Monica: *grins mischievously* Don't even think about it handsome. We'll be here for a while. And now to present the award for Sexiest Dubbed Voice, here's two very unsexy duel monsters, Sliffer and Obelisk!
*presenters enter, hosts/hostesses exit*
Obelisk: ^_^ Hi Seto! (waves)
Kaiba: *desperately from backstage* Please help me!!
O: What a nice man.
Sliffer: O.o Yeah, um...we're here to present the award for sexiest dubbed voice.
O: Did you know Ra is going to be in the preformance with Josey Scott and that Chad Kroeger guy?
S: No, I didn't.
O: ^_^ That's so nice!
S: ...Stop smiling. You look creepy when you do that.
O: I can't help it! I'm just a little ray of sunshine! ^_^
S: ...Really. I thought you were a massive being of force and destruction.
O: Nope! In truth, I don't really like violence. It's evil. It doesn't solve anything-only creates more problems.
S:...Then why are you here?
O: Well I have to pay rent don't I? ^_^ Silly Sliffer-kun!
S: O.o
O: And now here are the nominees for sexiest dubbed voice!
MV: Malik!
Malik: I'm just sexy period.
Fangirls in audience: *screaming/crying*
MV: This is true. Bakura!
Bakura: *calmly sipping on wine glass full of Le Cognac De Napoleon Courvoisier, one hand in pocket* Thank you, my mindless public.
Fangirls: *continues screaming/crying*
MV: Yami!
Yami: *flashes incredibly sexy grin* Thanks.
Fangirls: *begin to faint*
MV: And Seto Kaiba!
Kaiba: *STILL cuffed to Monica* Who cares? I'm not gonna win.
O: ^_^ Don't say that Kaiba! You just never know! Sliffer, open the envelope, if you please.
S: *opens envelope* And the winner is...Bakura.
Fangirls in audience: *begin to go into hysterics, breaking things, screaming/cheering/crying*
Bakura: *approaches stage ever so calmly, oozing coolness; takes Milli in hand not occupied by drink* Thank you. This is *such* an honor.
O: ^_^ Congratulations Bakura! You deserve it!
Bakura: *grins ever so sexily* I know.
Random fangirl: I love you Bakura!
Bakura: ...I'm sure.
FG: He spoke to me! *faints*
Bakura: ...Right. Thank you. *walks off, followed by EGC*
Audience: *claps politely*
Obelisk: Well, that was fun! ^_^
Sliffer:...I'm sure.
Laura: And now that that's been settled, we'll move right along.
Seto: (still trying to free himself from Monica, struggling)
Monica: Don't do that Seto. I'll break your wrist. ^_^
Seto: O.O
Mokuba: Monica, I'm going backstage to get more drinks, do you want anything?
Monica: (sweetly, as if Mokuba is the cutest thing ever) Now baby, you know Monica will take whatever you give her.
Mokuba: ^_^ I know, but it's common courtesy. (leaves to obtain drinks)
Seto: (calling after him) While you're back there, see if you can find Monica's sanity.
Monica: It's not lost. ^_^ I had Yami send it to the Shadow Realm. I owed the Reaper of The Cards a favor.
Seto: O_o
Laura: (obviously embarrassed by Monica) Yes well, before we present our next award, we will have a live performance from the people you've all been waiting for: Linkin Park!
Audience: *cheers loudly, whistling*
Monica: But before that, I need to give Laura a little piece of advice.
Laura: What's that?
Monica: Always let me announce the performances. You sound super(omitted).
Laura: -.- Well, thank you Monica. That's kind.
Monica: ^_^
Mokuba: (comes back with two cups of regular Bacardi) What did I miss?
Monica: (takes one cup from Mokuba) Nothing. Thank you baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ Welcome!
Seto: (still trying to get free) Mokuba, are you drinking alcohol?
Mokuba: (sips casually) Maybe.
Seto: -.-
Monica: Now that I've got my drink, here's what you've all been waiting for...
Seto: The end of the show?
Monica:...A live performance of "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park...I have just recently been told that they will be featuring Ryou Bakura! So let's get it on! Oh yeah!
Laura: You can't say that on national television! Do you know what people might be thinking?!
Monica: That's why we all have imaginations. ^_^
Laura: -.-
*hosts/hostesses exit, and curtains lift up to reveal the Linkin Park band...and Ryou* *music starts*
Audience: *cheering wildly; loudly*
Random fan girl: I love you Mike!!!
Ryou and Chester: When this began...
Seto: I have nothing to say...
Monica: *whacks Seto upside his head*
Mike:...and not get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
R&C: I was confused...
M: And I'd let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind.
R&C: Inside of me...
M: With all the vacancy, the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.
R&C: Nothin to lose...
M: Just stuck hollow and alone and the fault is my own and the fault is my own...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real; I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long...
M: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
R: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna find something I wanted all along, somewhere I belong...
Monica: O.O He actually sound pretty nice. ^_^
Seto: (monotone, obviously watching from the back) I've got nothing to say, I wish Monica would fall right down on her face.
R&C: (obviously from the stage) I was confused...
Seto: Looking everywhere only to find that Monica is everywhere I am; even my mind.
Monica: *kicks Seto in the groin, quite professionally, considering she's handcuffed to him* You do not diss Linkin Park. That's a no-no. No more talking; oh yeah!
R&C: So what am I?
Mike: What do I have but negativity? Cause I can't justify the way everyone is lookin at me.
R&C: Nothin to lose...
Mike: Nothin to gain, hollow and alone and the fault is my own and the fault is my own...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long...
Mike: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
Ryou: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna find something I wanted all alone, somewhere I belong...
Monica: *is dancing, if that's at all possible; yanking Seto's wrist as much as allowed* Oh yeah!
C: I will never know myself until I do this on my own...
Ryou: And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed...
C: I will never be anything till I break away from me...
Ryou: And I will break away, I'll find myself today...(holds note perfectly)
Monica: O.O Oh yeah!
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long...
Mike: Erase all the pain till it's gone...
Ryou: I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real; I wanna find something I wanted all along, somewhere I belong...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm...
Ryou: Somewhere I belong...
C: I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm...
Ryou: Somewhere I belong...
C: Somewhere I belong....
*music ends*
Audience: *screaming*
Jaqulene: I love you, Ryou!!
Ryou: *blushes slightly* Thank you.
Bakura: (talking to fan girl, now sipping a fresh cup of Bacardi Silver) No you don't! If you knew what kind of person he is, you'd hate him! Just like I do!!
Jaqulene: Oh my god!! Bakura spoke to me!! *faints*
Monica:...I'm startin' ta think we need to just put an ambulance in the audience.
(Linkin Park exits, along with Ryou/hosts, hostesses enter)
Laura: Well, now that was entertaining.
Monica: Agreed. Did you like it Mokuba?
Mokuba: (nods) Mm-hmm. I didn't know Ryou could sing. I thought he was gay. That's what I heard.
Monica: Now Mokuba, do you believe everything you hear?
Mokuba: ^_^ Only when it comes from you, Monica!
Monica: That's right, baby. What about our millionaire?
Laura: Yes, did you enjoy it Seto?
(all turn to Seto)
Seto: O.O (bent over in pain)...The swelling's...went down a little...
Mokuba: Seto, what happened??
Monica: He dissed Linkin Park, so I had to do him one better. ^_^ He'll be a'ight, oh yeah.
Mokuba: (obviously hurt, his eyes tear up) Oh, Seto...I'm ashamed...
*the entire audience shuns Seto*
Seto: (voice higher than Mariah Carey's) You can say what you want...could someone get me some ice?...Or a surgeon?...Or perhaps could I just borrow a little bit of your dignity?
Monica: (bends down to help Seto up)
Lookit: Hi Monica, Lookit!!
Monica: (as an automatic reaction, waves) Hey Lookit!!
Seto: Oof!!
Monica: (looks back at Seto to find that when she waved, she elbowed him in the face several times)...That's gon' leave a bit of a mark.
Laura:...You may find this shallow, but we're going to take a commercial break. Apparently, Monica can't be seen on TV with an ugly person, so we have to fix Seto.
Monica: Monica is not trying to ruin her image.
***Commercial Break****
Malik: *walking through the Sahara desert with Teà, who is rambling on an on about "Keep Hope Alive"* By the mercy of Ra woman, will you shut up?!
Teà: But we can make it, Malik! I know we can!
Malik: We're lost because of you, ignorant wench!! And YOU spilled the water, for a SCORPION no less!! Though I must admit, if I had to choose between its' life and yours, I would've gladly gave the water to it!
*a limousine pulls out of no where and rolls Teà over, then rolls over her again several times.*
Bakura: *opens the door from the inside, letting plenty of cold air seep out* Get in.
Malik: ^_^ *gets in, and is instantly cold* Could you...?
Bakura: Hm? Oh, certainly. *taps on the window, the driver backs over Teà several more times*
*an extremely cold Sierra Mist bottle appears on the screen*
Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Bakura: Drink?
Malik: Yes please ^_^
****End Commercial****
(not part of an actual commercial)
Malik: (looking at paper) Yami, Coke wants us to help them boost their sales...
Yami Malik: Shuffle, duffle, muzzle muff! Fista, wista, mista-cuff! We are men of groans and howls, mystic men who eat boiled owls. Tell us what you wish, oh King. Our magic can do anything!!
Malik: O.o Where did you get that from?
Yami Malik: No where!! Where did you get that from??
Malik: *looks around* What?
Yami Malik: That! *snatches one of his earrings out of his ears, begins to run*
Malik: Give that back! *chases his yami*
(the ACTUAL Coke TM commercial)
Malik: Hi. That's my yami. (points behind him)
Yami Malik: (to cashier) Give me this candy...free. And all of this Coke! (turns around to reveal carts and carts of candy and Coke)
Cashier: I can't do that, sir.
Yami Malik: *whips out Millenium dagger* How about now?
Cashier: O.O Now is good. (begins to bag groceries)
Yami Malik: Won't look like rain. Won't look like snow. Won't look like fog. That's all we know. (as if talking to the cashier) We just can't tell you any more. We've never made oobleck before. (laughs maniacally) FASTER!!!
Cashier: O.O Um yessir.
Malik: (turns back to screen) Wanna know how he got so much authority? Well, take a look at him. He's on a sugar high.
Yami Malik: We go now to our secret cave, on Mystic Mountain Neeka-tave. There, all night long, we'll work for you, and you'll have oobleck when we're through!
Malik: *sighs, sweatdrops* He drinks too much Coke; which gives him a sugar high; thus he's fearless. And when you're fearless, you're pretty dangerous. I'm not encouraging you to drink Coke, I'm just saying. You know a 12 oz. can of Coke has about 42 grams of sugar in it. (points to Yami Malik again) Observe.
Yami Malik: Oh snow and rain are not enough! Oh, we must make some brand- new stuff! So feed the fire with wet mouse hair, burn an onion! Burn a chair! Burn a whisker from your chin! And burn a long sour lizard skin!
Malik: You wanna rob a bank? *shrugs* Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: Burn yellow twigs and burn red rust! And burn a stocking full of dust! Make magic smoke green, thick, and hot! It sure smells dreadful, does it not? *dances gleefully*
Malik: You wanna commit first degree murder with no conscience? *shrugs* Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: That means the smoke is now just right! So quick! Before the day gets light, go magic smoke! Go high! Go high! Go rise into the kingdom's sky!
Malik: Wanna frame your in-laws for chivalry? Drink some Coke.
Yami Malik: Go make the oobleck tumble down! On every street, on every town!
Malik: Grand larceny? Why not? Coke.
Yami Malik: Go make the wondrous oobleck fall! Oh, bring down oobleck on us all!! (laughs maniacally) Didn't I tell you to hurry?!
Malik: Commit any crime you want, just make sure you're completely unaware, but aware. Yami.
Yami Malik: Guessles yessles?
Malik: *raises eyebrow* We're leaving.
****
(after commercial has aired)
Director: Malik, you and your yami just encouraged every person worldwide to commit whatever crime they wanted!!
Malik:...But I promoted your drink.
D: You promoted mass destruction!!
Malik:....And your drink.
Yami Malik: Can I snap his neck?
Malik:...No.
Yami Malik: Can I snap his neck? (points to person)
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: What about her?
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: You?
Malik: No.
Yami Malik: Can I snap MY neck??
Malik: Feel free to try.
Yami Malik: *attempts to snap his own neck* What if it doesn't work?
Malik: Then by the gods, Yami, do keep trying.
*TO BE CONCLUDED*
****End Commercial Break****
Laura: Well, that was.odd. Um, we are now about to present you, our lovely audience, with yet another award. Moving right along, aren't we? And see how we fixed Seto?
*all look toward a very beautiful, fresh, good-looking, and rather unhappy Seto*
Mokuba: Wow. He looks as good as new. He's making that same facial expression and everything. What did you do?
Monica: I made a miracle baby.
Mokuba: ^_^ The award that we are now presenting is Hottest Male Duelist! Presented by a very strung-out looking Duke Devlin, and is accompanied by Mako Tsunami!
*hosts/hostesses exit, presenters enter*
Random fangirl: Duke I love you!!
Duke: I love me too.
Mako: O.o I do not understand why my connection with the sea is fading...
Duke: -.- Perhaps it's because you're inside of a building.
Mako: *sweatdrops* That might have something to do with it...
****
Griffin: I know it's kind of short, but oh well. It's tough putting all this energy into a story.
Lady Sephiroth: -.- You haven't done anything.
Griffin: ^.^' That's not true. Well, feel free to review. Oh and I need people to be in my commercials, so feel free to ask. ^_^ I like my commercials.
Yami Malik: Twas brillig in the slithy tothes, did gire and the grimble wabe, all mimsy were the borogroves...
Griffin: ^_^ And the momwraths outgabe. Alright, enough of the insane poetry, Yami Malik.
Yami Malik: *laughs maniacally* Can I snap your neck?
Griffin: O_o Maybe later, sweetheart.
Yami Malik: Yay! *dances*
Malik: You know, I can't find any way to torture Teà. Maybe the reviewers can help.
Griffin: Uh, Yami Malik and I...as much as we want to, do not own Dr. Seuss, or his book, Bartholomew and the Oobleck. Well, I *own* it, but it's not mine to um...It's Dr. Seuss' book. He wrote it, not me. Also we don't own The Jaberwocky. And in a desperate attempt to persuade the author to give it to us, we sought him out, only to find that he is very very dead.
Yami Malik: I was going to kill him anyway. Right after he changed his will to read that I inherit all copyright-thingies to all his poems ^___________^
Griffin: Uh-huh.
Yami: (to Lady Sephiroth) Is there any thing I can service you, my Mistress of all Evil?
L-Seph: That's like music to my ears. ^____^ You can thank the reviewers.
Yami: (bows) Yes, of course. Special thanks to: Time Mage, Smiley, ACME- Rian, Pheonix Pandora, Duel Mistress K, Malik's Gurl, ACME-Rian again, Yami's Girl 3000, special thanks to you. (smiles in his ever so sexy way) LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd, Smiley again, Space Case, Seirei queen of Darkness, Internal Dragon, Smiley again, and SenRyoko-TaiHanyou.
Yami Malik: o.O Too many reviewers. Can I stab some of them?
Griff: No!
Yami Malik: Thank the people!! Thank the people!!
Griff: O.o Okay...
Time Mage: It's nice that you've decided to read my story in fresh clothes. Did you use any of the laundry detergent I advertised? ^_^
Smiley: Yes, I've heard that song called Nobody's Fool where she *quite* unsuccessfully tries to rap. It's a shame isn't it? That's about the saddest song I think I've ever heard. *sweatdrops* Oh, and I had no idea Seto could dance either. o.O Smiley, I heard you the first time!! It's not easy updating when your okina thinks there's more to life then the Internet.
Malik: *scoffs* Who came up with that whack idea?
Bakura: Her old man. I never did like him.
Griff: Bakura doesn't like him because my dad keeps telling me he's an imaginary person. ^_^
ACME-Rian: I have no idea what WOEICS is. *sweatdrops* And I've put you in my story as stage crew; is that alright? You're like a reporter. XD Didn't you say something about a Malik commercial? Uh, no wait. I think that was someone else. XD
Pheonix Pandora: lol, Yuugi. Yeah, L-Seph actually typed that part. I was cracking up; I think I hit my head on the floor. Um...whatever floats your boat. Now if it was Yami...oh yeah!
Duel Mistress K: Oh, you liked that part huh? I didn't know Mokuba could rap! *sweatdrops*
L-Seph: -.-' How did you not know, and you did it?
Griff:...I don't know. But they don't *know* I know that they don't know.
L-Seph: They know now.
Griff: ^__^'
Malik's gurl: Well, I'll continue the commercial, but it probably won't show up until part 9 or 10, because I've already done up to part 8. The commercials get worse ^_^ And I'd actually have to make up a commercial for you to be in; well, they're all made up, but you know. See, most of the people in these commercials are being abused, and I don't want to hurt you ^__^ Some people get stabbed, and all kind of things. So unless you're immortal and don't mind abuse (which is mostly from Yami Malik and Bakura) then I'll have to think XD
Yami's Girl 3000: XD Where did you get the idea that Teà is immortal? I like killing her, true, but there's more than one *way* to kill her, so if we can make her immortal (well she obviously is because she keeps coming back, ne?) Alright, I'll see if I can use your idea to kill her. There's only been one of my commercials so far that she was in that she didn't die in O.o I should've killed her XD
People please note that killing Teà is not a fanclub XD And it is only for amusement; if you don't like it, then Yami Malik has something for you. Yami Malik.
Yami Malik: (bends over) Then you can kiss my (omitted; pulls down his pants and moons the reviewers)
L-Seph: O.o
Monica: Yami Malik!!! (takes off belt and beats Yami Malik like he stole a government mule)
Yami Malik: (running, screaming, crying like he's two years old)
Griff: -.- Yami Malik, I did not tell you to pull down your pants and show the reviewers your very nicely colored butt.
Malik: I think he likes being naked.
Yami Malik: (suddenly starts laughing) I'm free, I'm free!!! (takes off *all* of his clothes and throws them haphazardly)
Griff: *colors slightly* Okay....um. I'll just continue thanking the reviewers. (turns away)
Monica: (still beating Yami Malik like he's two) Putcho clothes back on!! I know you her me! Put 'em back on n---a!
Yami Malik: (crying hysterically) I'm sorry mama! I'm sorry!!!! Mama!!! I'm sorry mama!!! I love you!!! Mama please!!! Mama please!!! I'll put 'em back on!!!!
Griff: O.o That's exactly how we used to sound when we got whuppins. ^__^
Yami Malik: Mama!!! Please mama!!!!
L-Seph: Uh, we never got beat for streakin.
Griff: *sweatdrops*
Monica: Put 'em back on or I'mo beat 'em back on you!!!
Yami Malik: (still crying) I'm sorry mama!!!
Griff: -.-'
LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd: Well, just as you asked, more!! XD
Space Case: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I always found my humor very very extremely stupid XD
Seirei queen of darkness: If you think them dying is funny, wait until you find out *why* they're dying. It's so stupid. XD
Internal Dragon: ^___^ I'm glad you like it. And I've read sicker (starts laughing) But yes it is pretty stupid isn't it.
SenRyoko-TaiHanyou: *does an Egyptian jig* Yay! I'm gonna make SenTaro's week!! Yay!!
Well, that's all the reviews since I last updated, so. Um hopefully when we return, Monica will be done whuppin Yami Malik, but if not then that's okay too. I also uploaded my first one-shot called Boot Camp. Check it out, it's so stupid XP
Malik: Stop promoting yourself so they can review!!
Griff: XD Well I be geese. XD Ciao 4 now!