Mako: Well now, it's about time we got a part in this insanity! Although
I'm not particularly fond of insanity, nor do I encourage it in any way.
Duke: ...Right. Anyway, how are you guys enjoying the show so far?
Audience: *cheers*
Monica: (from backstage) He fine-oh yeah!
Mako: I would like to point out that the entertainment will consist of more than musical interludes and commercials. We will be having duels, since this is the sixth part. In fact, I'm part of the very first duel.
Duke: Who are you dueling?
Mako: Monica.
Monica: O.O Who volunteered my services like that? Aw hell naw.
Seto: (grins mischievously)
Mako: Monica and I will be testing out Kaiba Corp.'s new system, which is really really life like.
Duke: So life like, in fact, it actually inflicts an injury upon you when you lose.
Monica: O.O
Seto: (snickers) What's the matter Monica? Afraid you'll lose?
Monica: Naw, actually, it's your breath. Smell like ol' feet or somethin'.
Seto: (growls) Do you even know how to duel?
Monica: (stares at fingernails as if they've suddenly grown interesting) I don't know if I'm any good. I did beat Yami though.
Seto: O.O Impossible!! No one I know alive has beat Yami without cheating!
Monica: So then you do admit that you cheated to beat him on Duelist Island.
Seto: That has nothing to do with this!
Monica: Yes it does baby-it has everything to do with this. You beat Yami on Duelist Island by threatening to commit suicide. And he'd've done it to, if that li'l *omitted* Yugi hadn't have stopped him. You haven't been able to win since. So I think that you're not as great a duelist as you think you are. In fact, I don't think you believe in the heart of the cards, or yourself. Because if you did, you'd've relied on your wits to win-fair and square.
Seto: Enough with the Heart of the Cards *oh my*. We'll see if you really did beat Yami in a duel. (drags Monica out on stage roughly)
Mako: Monica, I look forward to our duel.
Monica: ^_^ So do I baby!
Mako: Funny, but it sounds as if she is very near.
Monica: (taps Mako on the shoulder) Baby, I'm right here.
Mako: (nearly jumps out of his skin) O.O Don't DO that!
Seto: (pushes Duke roughly out of the way) Yami, you *gasp*. Is it true that Monica beat you in a duel?! Don't lie for her either, just because she has a pretty face!
Monica: ^_^ I'm glad you think I'm attractive Seto, baby, but I don't think you should do this. Challenging me to a duel never gets you anywhere but completely humiliated.
Yami: (blushing slightly) It's true. She beat me Kaiba. (growing quite serious, eyebrows scrunching together in that very cute manner) Now I advise you to take her advice and calmly walk away.
Seto: (haughtily) Monica doesn't scare me Yami. She might scare all of you, but she doesn't scare me!
Bakura: ...She doesn't scare me either. She's a little wired, but not something I'd be scared of.
Yami Malik: I'M scary! (makes insane psychotic face)
Bakura: (eyes Yami Malik) ...Ryou's mother is scarier than that.
Yami Malik: O.O (pouting) That was my best insane psychopath on a rage face.
Bakura: Yes, well, if it makes you feel any better, you *almost* scared me. (pulls out bottle of Bacardi Silver and wine glass from nowhere, pours himself a drink) But you know what they say. Almost doesn't count.
Yami Malik: (starts to cry) Bakura's a meanie!!
Ryou: (pats Yami Malik reassuringly on the back) There there Yami Malik. I think you're quite frightful.
Yugi: (joins in patting Yami Malik's back) Yeah, Bakura's just a jerk. He hurts other people and puts them down because it makes him feel better.
Bakura: No, I hurt other people and put them down because it makes them feel *worse*. Which is always a pleasure. (sips drink calmly)
Ryou: Bakura's a bully. It makes him feel good to put down others, because he has low self esteem.
Bakura: (to Yami) What's self esteem?
Yami: (shrugs) Beats me, but if you're low on it, I think you need to go buy some more.
Bakura: (stand up) Or, I'll just steal some. Be right back. (hands Yami his drink/glass) Hold this please. (walks off)
Yami: (sips Bacardi Silver right out of the bottle) Mmm, not bad. Tastes like Sprite.
Ryou: Yami Malik, you can't listen to Bakura. He's my Yami-I know him better than anyone in the world. He's a nasty little fickle thing, with a really bad attitude. If I can ignore him, so can you. And anyway, your face scared the pants off of me!
Yami Malik: (hopefully) Really?
Ryou: (nods) ^_^ Really really.
Yugi: I almost peed on myself! ^_^
Yami Malik: BOO!
Yugi: (jumps) AHH!
Yami Malik: (cackles insanely) Thankles spankles hikari people! (walks away to find someone else to scare)
Ryou: (to Yugi) Are you alright?
Yugi: (shaking) I think he just shortened my life span.
Seto: Enough with the crap! Monica, I challenge you to a duel!
Monica: (nonchalantly) Sure, whatever man.
Seto: And, I'll be dueling in Mako's place!
Mako: Now just a minute.!
Seto: (glares at Mako)
Mako: O.O Please, continue.
Seto: (to Monica) If I win, you'll have to...to...(tries to think of something)...
Monica: How about this. If you win, I'll dress in my skimpiest outfit and bow down in front of you in front of the entire *LIVE* audience, proclaim you King of Games, and kiss each and every one of your manly toes.
Yami: (suddenly realizes what Monica just said, spits out drink) King of Games? Hey! That's my title!!
Yugi: -_- Go back to your drink Yami.
Yami: (desperately) But she can't proclaim him King of Games! I'm King of Games! I won Duel Monsters, and Dungeon Dice, and.!
Seto: Actually, World Champion would be better-since you beat Yami, that makes you World Champion, and I'll gladly take your claim to the rights.
Yami: (sighs in relief) That's better. I'll still be King of Games, right?
Yugi: (annoyed) -_- Yes Yami.
Yami: Good. (goes back to drink)
Seto: And you'll *suck* every one of my toes.
Monica: (nodding in agreement) In front of the live audience.
Seto: (laughs maniacally) And in the slim chance that you win, what will I do?
Monica: *grins evilly* You'll be my personal slave for the rest of the night, and on into the wee hours of the morn.
Seto: Agreed.
Monica: Shake on it.
*They shake.*
Duke: Well now this should be promising.
Mako: (nods) I can't wait to see how this turns out. (turns back to audience) And now we'll present the award for Hottest Male Duelist. And the nominees are.!
MV: Pegasus!
Pegasus: (waves) Hello funny people reading from the computer screen!
MV: Mako Tsunami!
Mako: (grins) It is not my rugged good looks that make me hot, but my mighty sea deck!
MV: ...Yeah, whatever. Duke Devlin!
Duke: (smiles)
MV: Yami!
Yami: (waves while still drinking Bacardi Silver)
MV: Joey Wheeler!
Joey: Hey, you really haven't forgotten about me! When's the Barenaked Ladies coming?
MV: Uh, later. Malik!
Malik: (yawns) Of course I'm going to win. I'm extremely hot.
Random Fangirl: Yes you are Malik!
MV: And Seto Kaiba!
Seto: (glares at screen)
Mako: Duke, the envelope please?
Duke: (opens envelope, announces calmly) And the winner is Seto Kaiba.
Malik's Fangirls, Malik: WHAT?!!!
Audience: *claps*
Malik: (growling) That's NOT possible! How did boulder head win over me!! I'm so hot I sizzle! I have to carry a fire extinguisher with me, as things randomly catch aflame when I walk anywhere!!!!
Isis: ...Yes, but Kaiba has that flowing duster, and those harsh blue eyes. It makes him very appealing in a suave, hot, incredibly sexy evil kind of way. (realizes she is drooling, wipes it away, straightens herself) Anyway little brother, you can't win everything.
Malik: (points to Isis accusingly) You LIKE him!!!!
Isis: ...You still suck on a pacifier.
All: O.O
Yugi: (pouting) I wasn't even nominated.
Yami: That's because you wear panties.
Yugi: I do NOT wear panties!!
Ryou: Then why did you tell us you'd give Malik your panties?
Yugi: If I was a *girl*!!
Ryou: Oh. But I thought you were a girl.
Yugi: (huffs, jumps up) I'm going to sit with the fan girls. They're way more sane than all of you.
Ryou: Great, I'll go with you. (walks off with Yugi)
Seto: (snatches award from Duke, points and laughs at Malik) Ha Ha! Loser!
Malik's Fangirls: *boo Seto, begin throwing things at him, including broken glass, assorted sharp objects and chairs)
Seto: O.O (ducks)
Monica: (into mic) Now now, all ya'll calm down. I know, I know, Malik should've won.
Fangirls: *stop*
Monica: (grins shamelessly) Yeah, tha's right Malik, I'm a fan-oh yeah! Like I said, I don't agree with this. I think you should've won.
Malik: ^________^ Marry me, you hot Amazonian goddess!!
Monica: ...Later. But ya'll know Malik can't win at everything. And Seto looked pretty damn hot in that Battle City outfit-oh yeah!
*Screen lowers, shows picture of Seto in an ultra cool pose, wearing Battle City outfit*
Random Malik Fangirl: Actually, she's right. He does look really hot.
Fangirl #2: Malik still should've won though.
Fangirl #3: Yeah!
All of Malik's Fangirls: Yeah!
Monica: Now, now, chir'rin, calm down. Life ain't always fair. And anyway, there are more awards coming up that I'm sure Malik is going to win. This ain't the end of the world you know. Plus, this'll be over in a few more parts, and then you can storm Kaiba's limousine, knock it over, pour gas into it and ignite it, making sure he can't get home.
Fangirl 1: We don't have to wait. Let's do that now.
Fangirl 2: Yeah!
*Fangirls storm out to destroy Kaiba's limousine*
Seto: O.O What've you done?!!
Monica: Probably just saved your worthless life. (turns to camera) Hey, we got more coming up, including me and Kaiba's duel and Simple Plan, so sit back and relax. We'll be back after this commercial break.
Audience: *claps*
****Commercial Break****
(Monica and Exodia are standing together)
Monica: 'Sup Exodia?!?!?! How's that...uh, w'ere ever you are treatin you?
Exodia: Hmm. Pretty good, I can't complain. Someone needs to beat that Weevil kid, but I'm alright.
Monica: Ooh! Baby, your breath is seriously kickin!!! I'm talking kickin like Chris Tucker imitatin Michael Jackson!! Or Bruce Lee on Crack!! Whoa, that's foul! Oh no!!
Exodia: (whimpers)
Monica: I would ask that you breathe downwind, but you're taller than me, so it'll have the same effect. So, breathe...uh, west. (points) You know what, that's not proper at all. Not decent, kosher, proper, whate'er you wanna call it. So I've got just the thing. I just bought some Listurn.
Exodia: (raises eyebrow) Excuse me? Don't you mean Listerine?
Monica: That's what I said, Listurn. And didn't I tell you to stop talkin?? You gon kill somebody with that!! Look at my har' (hair), i's all limp. (holds up hair which falls flatly) -.- Come here.
*two minutes later*
Monica: Exy, smile for the camera.
Exodia: (smiles to reveal shiny perfectly white teeth)
Monica: Now tha's what I'm talkin about. Here, keep the bottle. Le's show some before and after pictures of Exy's mouth, oh yeah.
*show a before picture of brittle, yellow teeth*
Monica: O.O Now tha's not right.
*shows an after picture of perfectly white, strong, clean, shiny teeth*
Monica: Oh yeah! Tha's the powa of Listurn, oh yeah!
****End Commercial****
(Teà has just been hit by a car and is laying in the middle of the street)
Yuugi: Somebody help!! We need help!!
(Yami comes out of nowhere)
Yami: Move! I know what I'm doing! (examines Teà) Hm...I think her ribs are broken...
Bellhop: Yami, sir, would you like this in the trunk?
Yami: (stands up) Oh yes. Well, I must be off.
Yuugi: But we need help!! She's gonna die!! I thought you were a doctor!!
Yami: Doctor? (scoffs) No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. (grins, walk away leaving Teà to die)
****End Commercial Break****
*Laura and Mokuba are onstage at the podium, dressed in their regular clothes*
Mokuba: ^____^ We're back!
Laura: Yes. ^_^
Mokuba: Laura, think my brother's going to win his duel? I'm kind of worried.
Laura: There now Mokuba. Monica's good, but I think all your brother needs is a Simple Plan.
Mokuba: ^_^ Like the band?
Laura: Yes, like the band. ^_^ Here to perform "Addicted", here's Simple Plan!
**Camera switches to band's performance**
LS: I heard you're doing ok, but I want you to know...I'm a dick...I'm addicted to you. I can't pretend I don't care, when you don't think about me, do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy, but you left anyway.
Chorus: I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you. But I want it and need it, I'm addicted to you. Now it's over, can't forget what you said, and I never wanna do this again, heartbreaker.
LS: Since the day I met you and after all we've been through, I'm still a dick, still addicted to you. I think you know that it's all true. I'd run a thousand miles to get to you. Do you think I deserve this?
**While Band is performing, Backstage**
Monica: (uncuffs Seto) There. You should be able to duel now.
Seto: (glaring at Monica) When did you get so nice all of a sudden.
Monica: (in British Accent not unlike Laura Croft) I've always been nice. You've just never noticed.
Seto: O.O What happened to you being ghetto?
Monica: I am ghetto. This is how I sound for real. I'm a Tomb Raider, like Laura-we're cousins. She and I looked for the Sennen Gumball together.
Seto: (rubbing chaffed wrist) Sennen Gumball. What the hell is that?
Monica: It's the unofficial 8th Millenium Item. It's a golden gumball that grants eternal life to anyone who chews it. And it's not the only one. There was one made fore every flavor in the world. And I do mean *every* flavor. There's enough to give the entire planet eternal life. But they're all hidden in cavern somewhere deep in the bowels of the earth. We're still trying to find it. Do you realize what would happen if no one on Earth died? The world would be stuck with snotty little people like you, the planet would overpopulate, and we'd be doomed to destroy everything until there's nothing left for anyone.
Seto: ...I care because.
Monica: (shakes head) There's that snotty attitude again. You really are a jerk-off. Mokuba's right. It's going to be a pleasure teaching you some manners.
Seto: You've got that backwards. You aren't going to win, you little hood rat.
Monica: (raises eyebrow) Am I supposed to be insulted? ^__^ I'm proud of my culture. ^_____^ I like being unique.
Seto: ...There's something seriously wrong with you. Why are you so...so...so happy?
Monica: ^____^ You'd be too with friends like Ryou and Malik and their Yamis. It's hard not to be happy around them.
*A scream is heard. A random stage crew member runs by in an attempt to get away from Yami Malik, who mercilessly pounces on him and begins gnawing on the side of his face*
Random Stage Crew Member: PLEASE!! FOR THE LOVE OF RA, STOP!!! The PAIN!! Oh the PAIN!!!!! *screams horribly*
Yami Malik: (continues gnawing) Tastes like chicken!
Monica: ^____^ (still British) Now Malik, sweetheart, what did Monica dear tell you about gnawing on random people. They don't usually like that honey.
Yami Malik: ...Can I gnaw on you instead?
Monica: No dear, you can't. The loss of blood would kill me. But there's cookies in the back...
Yami Malik: COOKIES!!! (leaves rscm alone, runs to the back)
Random Stage Crew Member: (bleeding from the side of his face) Thank you. (faints)
Seto: (raises an eyebrow) How can you stand that freak? He practically ate a person alive. And you call him a friend?
Monica: (bends down to pick up stage crew member) A best friend. And he's not a freak Seto. (pointedly) You are.
Seto: Me? I don't do psychotic commercials, drink constantly, shamelessly promote myself, wear panties, randomly kill people or host stupid award shows from my imagination! I think you've got it backwards again Monica. You're all freaks.
Monica: (arches eyebrows) I don't think the authors are going to be too happy to hear you say that. This is their story you know. You just called them freaks. You're probably going to get it at the end of this chapter.
Seto: (rolls eyes) Like I care.
Monica: Well you need to start. Or you'll find yourself terribly alone one day. You know, I kind of get it now.
Seto: Get what.
Monica: Why you lost to Yugi. It's got nothing to do with the fact that you cheated. It's got everything to do with the fact that you don't believe in the Heart of the Cards.
Seto: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE HEART OF THE CARDS!!!?????!!!
Yami Malik: (from somewhere in the back) Not the heart of the cards! The spleen! SPLEEN!!! (laughs maniacally, starts to choke)
Monica: O.O Oh dear. I'd better go see if he's alright. (walks away calmly)
Seto: ...(word cannot be typed, for it is an insult to all females in general. I think you get the idea.)
**Back onstage***
C: I tried to make you happy, I did all that I could just to keep you but you left anyway.
LS: How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time; I don't know why I'm waiting...I can't make you mine. Heartbreaker, I'm addicted to you.
**Performance ends**
**At podium**
Mokuba: While Simple Plan was performing, we were setting up for Monica and Seto's duel.
Laura: If I know Monica-and I think I do-this duel should be short and sweet.
Mokuba: (eyes watering) Laura, don't say that! I want Seto to win!
Laura: (gently) Mokuba, Monica's a freak sweetie. More specifically she's the worst kind of freak.
Mokuba: Like Teà?
Laura: (shudders visably) NO! Dear gods, she's nothing like that animal. No, she's like Yugi.
Mokuba:...A necrophiliac?
Laura: Close, but no. She's a Heart of the Cards freak. She's gonna hafta teach Seto a lesson now. Plus he's going to lose, because I've just received word that he stupidly insulted the authors backstage, and they overheard. They're Heart of the Cards freaks too. *ETREMELY*. So now he's really going to lose.
Mokuba: (pouting) It's not fair.
Malik: (laughing maniacally from audience) This'll be sweet.
**Center stage, where Seto and Monica are hooked up to Kaiba's new dueling system-which really isn't all that new. Just the first one. The duel system is the first Game Boy Advance that can be linked to duel other people. Also the Game Boy Advances are hooked up to a holographic image projector that's on the floor to display the monsters. Each player is set with 8000 life points, to prolong the agony. **
Seto: Let's get this over with.
Monica: (shrugging) Fine with me.
Mokuba: O.O Monica's British?
Seto: (sneering) Ladies first.
Monica: Fine. (barely glances at hand) I place one trap card face down, and I end my turn.
Seto: Already dueling like a loser. I place Mystic Horseman in attack mode.
Monica: Then you've activated my trap, acid trap hole. Your monster's history Kaiba.
Mystic Horseman: Aw nuts. *disappears*
Monica: And now it's my turn. I play Red Medicine, recovering 500 life points, and I end my turn.
Seto: You're not thinking straight. You're leaving yourself open. I play Battle Ox in attack mode, attacking your life points directly.
Battle Ox: Yippee!! *attacks life points*
Seto: You only have 6800 points left. If you're going to duel like you have no brains, I might as well treat you like it. I end my turn.
Monica: (slightly cross) You don't have to insult me you know.
Seto: You're insulting yourself by dueling with me.
Monica: We'll see. I play Change of Heart!
Seto: O.O
Monica: And I'll use your Battle Ox as a sacrifice for my new monster, which I play face down in defense mode.
Battle Ox: *snaps* Dang. *disappears, is replaced by card*
Seto: That was foolish. You should've used my card to attack my life points!
Monica: Are you going to tell me how to duel or are you going to run your mouth?
Seto: (growls) I play the Wicked Worm in attack mode!
*Wicked Worm charges, activating Monica's face down card, Gear Golem. With 2200 defense points, and the wicked worm with a mere 1400, Kaiba loses 600 life points, bringing his points down to 7400.*
Monica: You're dueling quite stupidly Kaiba. What's wrong? Can't handle a pair of big honey brown eyes?
Seto: (shakes head) I'm trying to go easy on you because you're a girl. But I won't keep it up.
Monica: Really? You're going easy on me because I'm a woman? I'm flattered- and here I thought I was going easy on you.
Seto: I'm still winning. I gave you that one for free, so that when I finally do beat you, I won't look so merciless.
Mokuba: (whispering to Laura) They're arguing like they're married, and they're scaring me.
Laura: (whispering back, grinning) I think Seto has a crush on someone.
****
Lady Sephiroth: (wagging finger) Never, ever insult the Heart of the Cards. I am a Heart of the Card FREAK! I'm dead serious. I honestly believe in the Heart of the Cards.
Malik:...You have no life whatsoever, do you?
Griff: What's with the seriousness? And what's up with Monica and Seto? Do they like each other? Because that would be weird.
L-Seph: (shrugs) I don't know. They sure do act like it though, don't they?
Bakura: This is supposed to be a comedy. As in funny. There wasn't a funny part in this chapter. Then you got all serious backstage, and you put in romance. No one wants to read about romance! Romance blows!
L-Seph: You only say that because you're not loved. I bet you cry before you go to bed at night.
Bakura: No I don't, but if you keep speaking, I'll gladly grant your request, and make you cry right now.
Griff: -_- As long as the next chapter's funnier, and there's more awards and deaths, we'll all be fine. And that's not true; I've got all the love in the world for Bakura.
Bakura: Oh Lady Sephiroth, would you like some popcorn with that salt? *sips Corbel Brady in a martini glass*
Griff: How exactly do you drink at the end of the chapter too? That's not fair. And you're underage.
Bakura: I'm 5000, and this can easily be passed for sake.
Griff: -.- Which is translated from english to mean alcohol.
Bakura: You cannot prove that.
Malik: Wait a minute...If you've got all the love in the world for him...then that means I'm not loved. *pouts*
Griff: That's not true. I've got all the love in the universe for you my dear. Now stop being spoiled, it doesn't suit you.
Malik: Yay! Hey... -.-
Yami Malik: Oh note!!! The rules of the duels...I made a rhyme. Yay! The rules of the duels...I made a ryhme. Yay! The rules of the duels...
Griff: -.- Ya know what hun? Let me do it. The rules of the duels are based on Yu-Gi-Oh (shudders) Dark Duel Stories for Game Boy Advance.
Yami: What about me?
Griff: I leave loving you solely to Sephiroth.
Yami Malik: I made a rhyme. Yay!! The rules of the duels...I made a rhyme. Yay!!
Yami: *is disgusted* Sephiroth is a 30-year-old man. Ew...
Griff: I mean *Lady* Sephiroth, you dummy.
Yami:...Oh ok.
Griff: -.- Bakura, thank the reviewers.
Bakura: (scowling) I'm not thanking anyone for anything. Except for this lovely alcohol. Apparently, someone knows that I don't drink beer. It's *the* most disgusting thing on the face of the planet. That, and that hole in Pegasus' face where I took his Eye out. And The Blue Eyes Toon Dragon.
Griff: Aw, he likes you, Bakura...
Blue Eyes Toon Dragon: (gnawing on leg)
Bakura: Keep that thing away from me or I'll...well I was going to say fill him full of liquor, but there is no way I'm separating myself from this martini glass. It is my friend, my companion, my family, and perhaps in some sick alternate universe, my sole mate.
Lady Sephiroth: O.O Um, are you sure you're not an alcoholic?
Bakura: Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something? I was staring at this pure crystal glass that Griffin bought me. When I touch the rim, it makes noises, depending on how much liquid is in it. ^_______^ I wonder if I can take this into the next chapter with me...
Lady Sephiroth:...(looks at Griffin) You're contributing to the problem.
Griffin: Um You know what, I'll thank the reviewers. Oh, and a side note people: When Mokuba said that Yuugi was a necrophiliac...well that's a person that sleeps with dead people. We just thought it would be funny considering how Yuugi's supposedly in love with Avril or whatever. I seriously have to stop abusing that kid; I had a dream about him last night.
Malik: ?.?
Griff: Not like that you hentai freak. Hey, Bakura! I think I'm making another one-shot about you! *is smiling*
Malik: *is sniffling* I'm not loved!! Another fangirl lost to the "obviously sexier" Bakura!!
Bakura: I did not appreciate you calling me sexy Malik. *is disgusted*
Griff: Um, he didn't mean it like that, Bakura. And Malik, you don't want to be the star of this fic. I'll be abusing Bakura with rabid animals. I thought that'd be funny. That and Seto trapped in Forrest Gump. And besides Malik, you get to chill in tha hood with Monica. ^_^
Monica: Yea-yea-ee!
Malik: Uh, oh yeah!
Griff: Ryou? Where's Ryou?
Ryou: I'm here. *is here*
Griff: What's with those stars?
Ryou: I don't know. *doesn't know* Um, do they denote action?
**: *denoting actions*
Griff: Okay...*is okay* O_o Well, I should thank you now. *will thank reviewers* Special thanks to first of all: Lady Sephiroth for helping me and for putting me on your fave author's list, also Lonewolf, my brother, Sen Taro-Taisensei, LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd, SenRyoko-TaiHanyou, Seirei Queen of Darkness, and Pyra Moonsword. I'm on all ya'll fave author's list. *is sniffling*
Malik: Did you just say...ya'll? That is so country.
Griff: Are you talking about my accent Malik? That's okay I'll just abuse you in a one-shot. ^__^ Okay, now the reviewers:
Sentine, who's laziness rules all: Hey there! Hi Seto! ^__^ I'm so happy you can dance! *is dancing* Oh, Chester I'm sorry Ryou took your spotlight, see originally you were going to perform either By Myself or Crawling. But either way, he would've been there, because he's a LP fan. ^__^
Seighart: Aw, you think I'm funny? I think I'm stupid.
Bakura: I second that. I also think you're stupid.
Griff: *_*; That's mean, Bakura. Well, thankies Seighart.
Malik's gurl: Why did I get the sudden idea for a pointless commercial with you and Malik dropping water balloons on people?
Malik: From like the 10th floor right?
Griff: O.O Not that high, you'll kill someone!
Malik: Feh.
Griff: Uh, well what do you think? It won't show up until about the 9th part, but I will put it there.
Seirei queen of darkness: I've got a question. Who are Blake and Ray? I think Blake is funny ^^ You know I once saw a girl with 4 yamis.
Malik: O.o
Griff: I know. Look I found Mynx!!
Mynx: Meh-heh!
Griff: Whoops, sorry. Uh, Mynx is my cat, and that the noise she makes when I pick her up. We're thinking about renaming her Inu-Yasha. ^_^
Bakura: Oh, god.
Griff: Acutally, her name was supposed to be either Kitty Face or Socks.
Bakura: o.O That is so very disturbed.
Griff: *hits Bakura upside the head* Anyway-
Bakura: Oh sod all, woman will you hurry up?!
Griff: O.o
SenRyoko: Thankies!! Thankies!! *huggles Ryoko*
ACME-Rian: Actually, you are with Yugi. Aren't you happy? ^_^
Well, that's it. Bakura's yelling so I have to go. But please review, and check out the story I just uploaded called: "Nah, Remember What Happened Last Time We Tried That?" It's an Inu-Yasha fic. ^_^
Malik: *shakes head* Shameless promotions...
Yami Malik: I made a rhyme! Yay!!! Hey, does anyone know a word that rhymes with "rhyme"?
Bakura: I know one. Time. As in it's against me, because I know you'll be saying that for a while.
Yami Malik: I don't think all that rhymes with rhyme, Bakura. O.O But I can try. (grins mischievously) Now where do I start...?
Duke: ...Right. Anyway, how are you guys enjoying the show so far?
Audience: *cheers*
Monica: (from backstage) He fine-oh yeah!
Mako: I would like to point out that the entertainment will consist of more than musical interludes and commercials. We will be having duels, since this is the sixth part. In fact, I'm part of the very first duel.
Duke: Who are you dueling?
Mako: Monica.
Monica: O.O Who volunteered my services like that? Aw hell naw.
Seto: (grins mischievously)
Mako: Monica and I will be testing out Kaiba Corp.'s new system, which is really really life like.
Duke: So life like, in fact, it actually inflicts an injury upon you when you lose.
Monica: O.O
Seto: (snickers) What's the matter Monica? Afraid you'll lose?
Monica: Naw, actually, it's your breath. Smell like ol' feet or somethin'.
Seto: (growls) Do you even know how to duel?
Monica: (stares at fingernails as if they've suddenly grown interesting) I don't know if I'm any good. I did beat Yami though.
Seto: O.O Impossible!! No one I know alive has beat Yami without cheating!
Monica: So then you do admit that you cheated to beat him on Duelist Island.
Seto: That has nothing to do with this!
Monica: Yes it does baby-it has everything to do with this. You beat Yami on Duelist Island by threatening to commit suicide. And he'd've done it to, if that li'l *omitted* Yugi hadn't have stopped him. You haven't been able to win since. So I think that you're not as great a duelist as you think you are. In fact, I don't think you believe in the heart of the cards, or yourself. Because if you did, you'd've relied on your wits to win-fair and square.
Seto: Enough with the Heart of the Cards *oh my*. We'll see if you really did beat Yami in a duel. (drags Monica out on stage roughly)
Mako: Monica, I look forward to our duel.
Monica: ^_^ So do I baby!
Mako: Funny, but it sounds as if she is very near.
Monica: (taps Mako on the shoulder) Baby, I'm right here.
Mako: (nearly jumps out of his skin) O.O Don't DO that!
Seto: (pushes Duke roughly out of the way) Yami, you *gasp*. Is it true that Monica beat you in a duel?! Don't lie for her either, just because she has a pretty face!
Monica: ^_^ I'm glad you think I'm attractive Seto, baby, but I don't think you should do this. Challenging me to a duel never gets you anywhere but completely humiliated.
Yami: (blushing slightly) It's true. She beat me Kaiba. (growing quite serious, eyebrows scrunching together in that very cute manner) Now I advise you to take her advice and calmly walk away.
Seto: (haughtily) Monica doesn't scare me Yami. She might scare all of you, but she doesn't scare me!
Bakura: ...She doesn't scare me either. She's a little wired, but not something I'd be scared of.
Yami Malik: I'M scary! (makes insane psychotic face)
Bakura: (eyes Yami Malik) ...Ryou's mother is scarier than that.
Yami Malik: O.O (pouting) That was my best insane psychopath on a rage face.
Bakura: Yes, well, if it makes you feel any better, you *almost* scared me. (pulls out bottle of Bacardi Silver and wine glass from nowhere, pours himself a drink) But you know what they say. Almost doesn't count.
Yami Malik: (starts to cry) Bakura's a meanie!!
Ryou: (pats Yami Malik reassuringly on the back) There there Yami Malik. I think you're quite frightful.
Yugi: (joins in patting Yami Malik's back) Yeah, Bakura's just a jerk. He hurts other people and puts them down because it makes him feel better.
Bakura: No, I hurt other people and put them down because it makes them feel *worse*. Which is always a pleasure. (sips drink calmly)
Ryou: Bakura's a bully. It makes him feel good to put down others, because he has low self esteem.
Bakura: (to Yami) What's self esteem?
Yami: (shrugs) Beats me, but if you're low on it, I think you need to go buy some more.
Bakura: (stand up) Or, I'll just steal some. Be right back. (hands Yami his drink/glass) Hold this please. (walks off)
Yami: (sips Bacardi Silver right out of the bottle) Mmm, not bad. Tastes like Sprite.
Ryou: Yami Malik, you can't listen to Bakura. He's my Yami-I know him better than anyone in the world. He's a nasty little fickle thing, with a really bad attitude. If I can ignore him, so can you. And anyway, your face scared the pants off of me!
Yami Malik: (hopefully) Really?
Ryou: (nods) ^_^ Really really.
Yugi: I almost peed on myself! ^_^
Yami Malik: BOO!
Yugi: (jumps) AHH!
Yami Malik: (cackles insanely) Thankles spankles hikari people! (walks away to find someone else to scare)
Ryou: (to Yugi) Are you alright?
Yugi: (shaking) I think he just shortened my life span.
Seto: Enough with the crap! Monica, I challenge you to a duel!
Monica: (nonchalantly) Sure, whatever man.
Seto: And, I'll be dueling in Mako's place!
Mako: Now just a minute.!
Seto: (glares at Mako)
Mako: O.O Please, continue.
Seto: (to Monica) If I win, you'll have to...to...(tries to think of something)...
Monica: How about this. If you win, I'll dress in my skimpiest outfit and bow down in front of you in front of the entire *LIVE* audience, proclaim you King of Games, and kiss each and every one of your manly toes.
Yami: (suddenly realizes what Monica just said, spits out drink) King of Games? Hey! That's my title!!
Yugi: -_- Go back to your drink Yami.
Yami: (desperately) But she can't proclaim him King of Games! I'm King of Games! I won Duel Monsters, and Dungeon Dice, and.!
Seto: Actually, World Champion would be better-since you beat Yami, that makes you World Champion, and I'll gladly take your claim to the rights.
Yami: (sighs in relief) That's better. I'll still be King of Games, right?
Yugi: (annoyed) -_- Yes Yami.
Yami: Good. (goes back to drink)
Seto: And you'll *suck* every one of my toes.
Monica: (nodding in agreement) In front of the live audience.
Seto: (laughs maniacally) And in the slim chance that you win, what will I do?
Monica: *grins evilly* You'll be my personal slave for the rest of the night, and on into the wee hours of the morn.
Seto: Agreed.
Monica: Shake on it.
*They shake.*
Duke: Well now this should be promising.
Mako: (nods) I can't wait to see how this turns out. (turns back to audience) And now we'll present the award for Hottest Male Duelist. And the nominees are.!
MV: Pegasus!
Pegasus: (waves) Hello funny people reading from the computer screen!
MV: Mako Tsunami!
Mako: (grins) It is not my rugged good looks that make me hot, but my mighty sea deck!
MV: ...Yeah, whatever. Duke Devlin!
Duke: (smiles)
MV: Yami!
Yami: (waves while still drinking Bacardi Silver)
MV: Joey Wheeler!
Joey: Hey, you really haven't forgotten about me! When's the Barenaked Ladies coming?
MV: Uh, later. Malik!
Malik: (yawns) Of course I'm going to win. I'm extremely hot.
Random Fangirl: Yes you are Malik!
MV: And Seto Kaiba!
Seto: (glares at screen)
Mako: Duke, the envelope please?
Duke: (opens envelope, announces calmly) And the winner is Seto Kaiba.
Malik's Fangirls, Malik: WHAT?!!!
Audience: *claps*
Malik: (growling) That's NOT possible! How did boulder head win over me!! I'm so hot I sizzle! I have to carry a fire extinguisher with me, as things randomly catch aflame when I walk anywhere!!!!
Isis: ...Yes, but Kaiba has that flowing duster, and those harsh blue eyes. It makes him very appealing in a suave, hot, incredibly sexy evil kind of way. (realizes she is drooling, wipes it away, straightens herself) Anyway little brother, you can't win everything.
Malik: (points to Isis accusingly) You LIKE him!!!!
Isis: ...You still suck on a pacifier.
All: O.O
Yugi: (pouting) I wasn't even nominated.
Yami: That's because you wear panties.
Yugi: I do NOT wear panties!!
Ryou: Then why did you tell us you'd give Malik your panties?
Yugi: If I was a *girl*!!
Ryou: Oh. But I thought you were a girl.
Yugi: (huffs, jumps up) I'm going to sit with the fan girls. They're way more sane than all of you.
Ryou: Great, I'll go with you. (walks off with Yugi)
Seto: (snatches award from Duke, points and laughs at Malik) Ha Ha! Loser!
Malik's Fangirls: *boo Seto, begin throwing things at him, including broken glass, assorted sharp objects and chairs)
Seto: O.O (ducks)
Monica: (into mic) Now now, all ya'll calm down. I know, I know, Malik should've won.
Fangirls: *stop*
Monica: (grins shamelessly) Yeah, tha's right Malik, I'm a fan-oh yeah! Like I said, I don't agree with this. I think you should've won.
Malik: ^________^ Marry me, you hot Amazonian goddess!!
Monica: ...Later. But ya'll know Malik can't win at everything. And Seto looked pretty damn hot in that Battle City outfit-oh yeah!
*Screen lowers, shows picture of Seto in an ultra cool pose, wearing Battle City outfit*
Random Malik Fangirl: Actually, she's right. He does look really hot.
Fangirl #2: Malik still should've won though.
Fangirl #3: Yeah!
All of Malik's Fangirls: Yeah!
Monica: Now, now, chir'rin, calm down. Life ain't always fair. And anyway, there are more awards coming up that I'm sure Malik is going to win. This ain't the end of the world you know. Plus, this'll be over in a few more parts, and then you can storm Kaiba's limousine, knock it over, pour gas into it and ignite it, making sure he can't get home.
Fangirl 1: We don't have to wait. Let's do that now.
Fangirl 2: Yeah!
*Fangirls storm out to destroy Kaiba's limousine*
Seto: O.O What've you done?!!
Monica: Probably just saved your worthless life. (turns to camera) Hey, we got more coming up, including me and Kaiba's duel and Simple Plan, so sit back and relax. We'll be back after this commercial break.
Audience: *claps*
****Commercial Break****
(Monica and Exodia are standing together)
Monica: 'Sup Exodia?!?!?! How's that...uh, w'ere ever you are treatin you?
Exodia: Hmm. Pretty good, I can't complain. Someone needs to beat that Weevil kid, but I'm alright.
Monica: Ooh! Baby, your breath is seriously kickin!!! I'm talking kickin like Chris Tucker imitatin Michael Jackson!! Or Bruce Lee on Crack!! Whoa, that's foul! Oh no!!
Exodia: (whimpers)
Monica: I would ask that you breathe downwind, but you're taller than me, so it'll have the same effect. So, breathe...uh, west. (points) You know what, that's not proper at all. Not decent, kosher, proper, whate'er you wanna call it. So I've got just the thing. I just bought some Listurn.
Exodia: (raises eyebrow) Excuse me? Don't you mean Listerine?
Monica: That's what I said, Listurn. And didn't I tell you to stop talkin?? You gon kill somebody with that!! Look at my har' (hair), i's all limp. (holds up hair which falls flatly) -.- Come here.
*two minutes later*
Monica: Exy, smile for the camera.
Exodia: (smiles to reveal shiny perfectly white teeth)
Monica: Now tha's what I'm talkin about. Here, keep the bottle. Le's show some before and after pictures of Exy's mouth, oh yeah.
*show a before picture of brittle, yellow teeth*
Monica: O.O Now tha's not right.
*shows an after picture of perfectly white, strong, clean, shiny teeth*
Monica: Oh yeah! Tha's the powa of Listurn, oh yeah!
****End Commercial****
(Teà has just been hit by a car and is laying in the middle of the street)
Yuugi: Somebody help!! We need help!!
(Yami comes out of nowhere)
Yami: Move! I know what I'm doing! (examines Teà) Hm...I think her ribs are broken...
Bellhop: Yami, sir, would you like this in the trunk?
Yami: (stands up) Oh yes. Well, I must be off.
Yuugi: But we need help!! She's gonna die!! I thought you were a doctor!!
Yami: Doctor? (scoffs) No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. (grins, walk away leaving Teà to die)
****End Commercial Break****
*Laura and Mokuba are onstage at the podium, dressed in their regular clothes*
Mokuba: ^____^ We're back!
Laura: Yes. ^_^
Mokuba: Laura, think my brother's going to win his duel? I'm kind of worried.
Laura: There now Mokuba. Monica's good, but I think all your brother needs is a Simple Plan.
Mokuba: ^_^ Like the band?
Laura: Yes, like the band. ^_^ Here to perform "Addicted", here's Simple Plan!
**Camera switches to band's performance**
LS: I heard you're doing ok, but I want you to know...I'm a dick...I'm addicted to you. I can't pretend I don't care, when you don't think about me, do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy, but you left anyway.
Chorus: I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you. But I want it and need it, I'm addicted to you. Now it's over, can't forget what you said, and I never wanna do this again, heartbreaker.
LS: Since the day I met you and after all we've been through, I'm still a dick, still addicted to you. I think you know that it's all true. I'd run a thousand miles to get to you. Do you think I deserve this?
**While Band is performing, Backstage**
Monica: (uncuffs Seto) There. You should be able to duel now.
Seto: (glaring at Monica) When did you get so nice all of a sudden.
Monica: (in British Accent not unlike Laura Croft) I've always been nice. You've just never noticed.
Seto: O.O What happened to you being ghetto?
Monica: I am ghetto. This is how I sound for real. I'm a Tomb Raider, like Laura-we're cousins. She and I looked for the Sennen Gumball together.
Seto: (rubbing chaffed wrist) Sennen Gumball. What the hell is that?
Monica: It's the unofficial 8th Millenium Item. It's a golden gumball that grants eternal life to anyone who chews it. And it's not the only one. There was one made fore every flavor in the world. And I do mean *every* flavor. There's enough to give the entire planet eternal life. But they're all hidden in cavern somewhere deep in the bowels of the earth. We're still trying to find it. Do you realize what would happen if no one on Earth died? The world would be stuck with snotty little people like you, the planet would overpopulate, and we'd be doomed to destroy everything until there's nothing left for anyone.
Seto: ...I care because.
Monica: (shakes head) There's that snotty attitude again. You really are a jerk-off. Mokuba's right. It's going to be a pleasure teaching you some manners.
Seto: You've got that backwards. You aren't going to win, you little hood rat.
Monica: (raises eyebrow) Am I supposed to be insulted? ^__^ I'm proud of my culture. ^_____^ I like being unique.
Seto: ...There's something seriously wrong with you. Why are you so...so...so happy?
Monica: ^____^ You'd be too with friends like Ryou and Malik and their Yamis. It's hard not to be happy around them.
*A scream is heard. A random stage crew member runs by in an attempt to get away from Yami Malik, who mercilessly pounces on him and begins gnawing on the side of his face*
Random Stage Crew Member: PLEASE!! FOR THE LOVE OF RA, STOP!!! The PAIN!! Oh the PAIN!!!!! *screams horribly*
Yami Malik: (continues gnawing) Tastes like chicken!
Monica: ^____^ (still British) Now Malik, sweetheart, what did Monica dear tell you about gnawing on random people. They don't usually like that honey.
Yami Malik: ...Can I gnaw on you instead?
Monica: No dear, you can't. The loss of blood would kill me. But there's cookies in the back...
Yami Malik: COOKIES!!! (leaves rscm alone, runs to the back)
Random Stage Crew Member: (bleeding from the side of his face) Thank you. (faints)
Seto: (raises an eyebrow) How can you stand that freak? He practically ate a person alive. And you call him a friend?
Monica: (bends down to pick up stage crew member) A best friend. And he's not a freak Seto. (pointedly) You are.
Seto: Me? I don't do psychotic commercials, drink constantly, shamelessly promote myself, wear panties, randomly kill people or host stupid award shows from my imagination! I think you've got it backwards again Monica. You're all freaks.
Monica: (arches eyebrows) I don't think the authors are going to be too happy to hear you say that. This is their story you know. You just called them freaks. You're probably going to get it at the end of this chapter.
Seto: (rolls eyes) Like I care.
Monica: Well you need to start. Or you'll find yourself terribly alone one day. You know, I kind of get it now.
Seto: Get what.
Monica: Why you lost to Yugi. It's got nothing to do with the fact that you cheated. It's got everything to do with the fact that you don't believe in the Heart of the Cards.
Seto: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE HEART OF THE CARDS!!!?????!!!
Yami Malik: (from somewhere in the back) Not the heart of the cards! The spleen! SPLEEN!!! (laughs maniacally, starts to choke)
Monica: O.O Oh dear. I'd better go see if he's alright. (walks away calmly)
Seto: ...(word cannot be typed, for it is an insult to all females in general. I think you get the idea.)
**Back onstage***
C: I tried to make you happy, I did all that I could just to keep you but you left anyway.
LS: How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time; I don't know why I'm waiting...I can't make you mine. Heartbreaker, I'm addicted to you.
**Performance ends**
**At podium**
Mokuba: While Simple Plan was performing, we were setting up for Monica and Seto's duel.
Laura: If I know Monica-and I think I do-this duel should be short and sweet.
Mokuba: (eyes watering) Laura, don't say that! I want Seto to win!
Laura: (gently) Mokuba, Monica's a freak sweetie. More specifically she's the worst kind of freak.
Mokuba: Like Teà?
Laura: (shudders visably) NO! Dear gods, she's nothing like that animal. No, she's like Yugi.
Mokuba:...A necrophiliac?
Laura: Close, but no. She's a Heart of the Cards freak. She's gonna hafta teach Seto a lesson now. Plus he's going to lose, because I've just received word that he stupidly insulted the authors backstage, and they overheard. They're Heart of the Cards freaks too. *ETREMELY*. So now he's really going to lose.
Mokuba: (pouting) It's not fair.
Malik: (laughing maniacally from audience) This'll be sweet.
**Center stage, where Seto and Monica are hooked up to Kaiba's new dueling system-which really isn't all that new. Just the first one. The duel system is the first Game Boy Advance that can be linked to duel other people. Also the Game Boy Advances are hooked up to a holographic image projector that's on the floor to display the monsters. Each player is set with 8000 life points, to prolong the agony. **
Seto: Let's get this over with.
Monica: (shrugging) Fine with me.
Mokuba: O.O Monica's British?
Seto: (sneering) Ladies first.
Monica: Fine. (barely glances at hand) I place one trap card face down, and I end my turn.
Seto: Already dueling like a loser. I place Mystic Horseman in attack mode.
Monica: Then you've activated my trap, acid trap hole. Your monster's history Kaiba.
Mystic Horseman: Aw nuts. *disappears*
Monica: And now it's my turn. I play Red Medicine, recovering 500 life points, and I end my turn.
Seto: You're not thinking straight. You're leaving yourself open. I play Battle Ox in attack mode, attacking your life points directly.
Battle Ox: Yippee!! *attacks life points*
Seto: You only have 6800 points left. If you're going to duel like you have no brains, I might as well treat you like it. I end my turn.
Monica: (slightly cross) You don't have to insult me you know.
Seto: You're insulting yourself by dueling with me.
Monica: We'll see. I play Change of Heart!
Seto: O.O
Monica: And I'll use your Battle Ox as a sacrifice for my new monster, which I play face down in defense mode.
Battle Ox: *snaps* Dang. *disappears, is replaced by card*
Seto: That was foolish. You should've used my card to attack my life points!
Monica: Are you going to tell me how to duel or are you going to run your mouth?
Seto: (growls) I play the Wicked Worm in attack mode!
*Wicked Worm charges, activating Monica's face down card, Gear Golem. With 2200 defense points, and the wicked worm with a mere 1400, Kaiba loses 600 life points, bringing his points down to 7400.*
Monica: You're dueling quite stupidly Kaiba. What's wrong? Can't handle a pair of big honey brown eyes?
Seto: (shakes head) I'm trying to go easy on you because you're a girl. But I won't keep it up.
Monica: Really? You're going easy on me because I'm a woman? I'm flattered- and here I thought I was going easy on you.
Seto: I'm still winning. I gave you that one for free, so that when I finally do beat you, I won't look so merciless.
Mokuba: (whispering to Laura) They're arguing like they're married, and they're scaring me.
Laura: (whispering back, grinning) I think Seto has a crush on someone.
****
Lady Sephiroth: (wagging finger) Never, ever insult the Heart of the Cards. I am a Heart of the Card FREAK! I'm dead serious. I honestly believe in the Heart of the Cards.
Malik:...You have no life whatsoever, do you?
Griff: What's with the seriousness? And what's up with Monica and Seto? Do they like each other? Because that would be weird.
L-Seph: (shrugs) I don't know. They sure do act like it though, don't they?
Bakura: This is supposed to be a comedy. As in funny. There wasn't a funny part in this chapter. Then you got all serious backstage, and you put in romance. No one wants to read about romance! Romance blows!
L-Seph: You only say that because you're not loved. I bet you cry before you go to bed at night.
Bakura: No I don't, but if you keep speaking, I'll gladly grant your request, and make you cry right now.
Griff: -_- As long as the next chapter's funnier, and there's more awards and deaths, we'll all be fine. And that's not true; I've got all the love in the world for Bakura.
Bakura: Oh Lady Sephiroth, would you like some popcorn with that salt? *sips Corbel Brady in a martini glass*
Griff: How exactly do you drink at the end of the chapter too? That's not fair. And you're underage.
Bakura: I'm 5000, and this can easily be passed for sake.
Griff: -.- Which is translated from english to mean alcohol.
Bakura: You cannot prove that.
Malik: Wait a minute...If you've got all the love in the world for him...then that means I'm not loved. *pouts*
Griff: That's not true. I've got all the love in the universe for you my dear. Now stop being spoiled, it doesn't suit you.
Malik: Yay! Hey... -.-
Yami Malik: Oh note!!! The rules of the duels...I made a rhyme. Yay! The rules of the duels...I made a ryhme. Yay! The rules of the duels...
Griff: -.- Ya know what hun? Let me do it. The rules of the duels are based on Yu-Gi-Oh (shudders) Dark Duel Stories for Game Boy Advance.
Yami: What about me?
Griff: I leave loving you solely to Sephiroth.
Yami Malik: I made a rhyme. Yay!! The rules of the duels...I made a rhyme. Yay!!
Yami: *is disgusted* Sephiroth is a 30-year-old man. Ew...
Griff: I mean *Lady* Sephiroth, you dummy.
Yami:...Oh ok.
Griff: -.- Bakura, thank the reviewers.
Bakura: (scowling) I'm not thanking anyone for anything. Except for this lovely alcohol. Apparently, someone knows that I don't drink beer. It's *the* most disgusting thing on the face of the planet. That, and that hole in Pegasus' face where I took his Eye out. And The Blue Eyes Toon Dragon.
Griff: Aw, he likes you, Bakura...
Blue Eyes Toon Dragon: (gnawing on leg)
Bakura: Keep that thing away from me or I'll...well I was going to say fill him full of liquor, but there is no way I'm separating myself from this martini glass. It is my friend, my companion, my family, and perhaps in some sick alternate universe, my sole mate.
Lady Sephiroth: O.O Um, are you sure you're not an alcoholic?
Bakura: Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something? I was staring at this pure crystal glass that Griffin bought me. When I touch the rim, it makes noises, depending on how much liquid is in it. ^_______^ I wonder if I can take this into the next chapter with me...
Lady Sephiroth:...(looks at Griffin) You're contributing to the problem.
Griffin: Um You know what, I'll thank the reviewers. Oh, and a side note people: When Mokuba said that Yuugi was a necrophiliac...well that's a person that sleeps with dead people. We just thought it would be funny considering how Yuugi's supposedly in love with Avril or whatever. I seriously have to stop abusing that kid; I had a dream about him last night.
Malik: ?.?
Griff: Not like that you hentai freak. Hey, Bakura! I think I'm making another one-shot about you! *is smiling*
Malik: *is sniffling* I'm not loved!! Another fangirl lost to the "obviously sexier" Bakura!!
Bakura: I did not appreciate you calling me sexy Malik. *is disgusted*
Griff: Um, he didn't mean it like that, Bakura. And Malik, you don't want to be the star of this fic. I'll be abusing Bakura with rabid animals. I thought that'd be funny. That and Seto trapped in Forrest Gump. And besides Malik, you get to chill in tha hood with Monica. ^_^
Monica: Yea-yea-ee!
Malik: Uh, oh yeah!
Griff: Ryou? Where's Ryou?
Ryou: I'm here. *is here*
Griff: What's with those stars?
Ryou: I don't know. *doesn't know* Um, do they denote action?
**: *denoting actions*
Griff: Okay...*is okay* O_o Well, I should thank you now. *will thank reviewers* Special thanks to first of all: Lady Sephiroth for helping me and for putting me on your fave author's list, also Lonewolf, my brother, Sen Taro-Taisensei, LiLfLoAtInGcLoUd, SenRyoko-TaiHanyou, Seirei Queen of Darkness, and Pyra Moonsword. I'm on all ya'll fave author's list. *is sniffling*
Malik: Did you just say...ya'll? That is so country.
Griff: Are you talking about my accent Malik? That's okay I'll just abuse you in a one-shot. ^__^ Okay, now the reviewers:
Sentine, who's laziness rules all: Hey there! Hi Seto! ^__^ I'm so happy you can dance! *is dancing* Oh, Chester I'm sorry Ryou took your spotlight, see originally you were going to perform either By Myself or Crawling. But either way, he would've been there, because he's a LP fan. ^__^
Seighart: Aw, you think I'm funny? I think I'm stupid.
Bakura: I second that. I also think you're stupid.
Griff: *_*; That's mean, Bakura. Well, thankies Seighart.
Malik's gurl: Why did I get the sudden idea for a pointless commercial with you and Malik dropping water balloons on people?
Malik: From like the 10th floor right?
Griff: O.O Not that high, you'll kill someone!
Malik: Feh.
Griff: Uh, well what do you think? It won't show up until about the 9th part, but I will put it there.
Seirei queen of darkness: I've got a question. Who are Blake and Ray? I think Blake is funny ^^ You know I once saw a girl with 4 yamis.
Malik: O.o
Griff: I know. Look I found Mynx!!
Mynx: Meh-heh!
Griff: Whoops, sorry. Uh, Mynx is my cat, and that the noise she makes when I pick her up. We're thinking about renaming her Inu-Yasha. ^_^
Bakura: Oh, god.
Griff: Acutally, her name was supposed to be either Kitty Face or Socks.
Bakura: o.O That is so very disturbed.
Griff: *hits Bakura upside the head* Anyway-
Bakura: Oh sod all, woman will you hurry up?!
Griff: O.o
SenRyoko: Thankies!! Thankies!! *huggles Ryoko*
ACME-Rian: Actually, you are with Yugi. Aren't you happy? ^_^
Well, that's it. Bakura's yelling so I have to go. But please review, and check out the story I just uploaded called: "Nah, Remember What Happened Last Time We Tried That?" It's an Inu-Yasha fic. ^_^
Malik: *shakes head* Shameless promotions...
Yami Malik: I made a rhyme! Yay!!! Hey, does anyone know a word that rhymes with "rhyme"?
Bakura: I know one. Time. As in it's against me, because I know you'll be saying that for a while.
Yami Malik: I don't think all that rhymes with rhyme, Bakura. O.O But I can try. (grins mischievously) Now where do I start...?