Disclaimer: You know the drill

AN: This one may seem short and a little rushed, but I'm getting a little hyper with this fic now, so I apologize if it's not up to par.

Chap. 13

Misato and Shinji entered the medical room. Lying in two beds were Asuka and Rei. They were unconscious, but they appeared fine.

Dr Akagi came out from the adjourning room and nodded to Shinji, "The operation was a success, Shinji."

Shinji looked over at both girls. He wanted to feel glad that they were alive and well. But he just couldn't. Seeing both of them only reminded him of the girl he lost. When he looked at Rei, he saw Tsunami's calm demeanor, yet it didn't have the same constant thoughtful expression. In Asuka, he saw her cheery attitude, but without the look on contentment. He began to look at them back and forth and with each look, more comparisons came to mind. Her eyes, her smile, her look. All there. And yet, it isn't there. Eventually, it became too much for the young Ikari and he turned and walked out of the room. Misato managed to grab him by the arm.

"Shinji..."

Shinji looked up at his guardian and the tears that had threatened to come out slowly came.

"I...I...it's not her. Not anymore."

Shinji managed to snatch his hand away and he ran down the hall. Misato watched him sadly go.

Ritsuko came from the side, "He's going to run away again."

"No. I think he might do something worse."

Shinji ran for who-knows-how-long. He dashed straight through the personnel and out of Nerv. He continued through the streets, not stopping for anything. His mind just went back to that encounter. He thought he would be able to deal with it, but he was wrong. He missed her so much

I really care about you. A lot.

She really cared about him. More than Misato. More than Rei. Certainly more than Askua. He just didn't want to bear the fact that she was gone. As sudden as she came, she left. He thought he could ignore the painful feeling buried within his heart. But that one moment in the medical room let it loose in a drowning torrent of emotion and pain

Ai shiteru, Shinji.

She loved me. And I loved her. I never felt that way about anyone before. Except for mother. And she left me. Just like her. Why must the people I love always leave me? I can't anyone love me? Why? Unbeknownst to him, he had run a great distance. Slowly down to walk, he found himself by a grassy hill beside a cliff. The wind blew strongly there, but Shinji didn't pay any attention.

Why should I even live?

Slowly, almost drone-like, he inched his way toward the edge of the cliff.

Would it really matter? I have no one. No one at all. She was all and now she's gone.

Shinji stood, eyes closed and arms outstretched by the treacherous edge. He didn't have to put in much effort. Just one small step forward. One step and it would end. All the pain he's caused. All the suffering he's endured. All it took was one small step...into oblivion.

I will always remember you as long as I live. No matter how short.

Then...I will do the same.

Shinji opened his eyes. I promised her. I can't...can't...do this. He slowly backed away from the cliff, eyes still teary despite the winds. She wouldn't want me to.

"Shinji."

Shinji turned around. There, Misato stood a few feet behind him. Her now motherly face showed great concern and sympathy for the young boy.

"Misato-san. I...I..."

Shinji's knees began to shake and Misato quickly scooped up her young ward. Both of them bent down to the ground as Shinji held onto her. Misato merely rubbed the back of his head as fresh tears billowed out of his eyes. He continued to sob for awhile and then he stopped. Shinji slowly looked up, tears still streaming from his eyes. Due to the tears, his vision was blurry as he looked up at Misato. He was barely able to make out her purple hair and eyes.

"Tsunami?"

Misato blinked at the comment and Shinji suddenly lunged forward and kissed her. Misato was shocked to say the least, but didn't move away. Rather, she softly kissed him back, holding his hand softly as they embraced. Shinji's eyes slowly opened and his vision was clear enough to see Misato's face. Wide-eyed, his head backed away and Misato opened her eyes to look at him.

"Misato-san! I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!"

Misato held his shoulder, "Don't apologize. It's alright. You miss her a lot, don't you?"

Shinji silently nodded and Misato helped him to his feet and walked with him to her car. Misato looked down at Shinji who was partly asleep. At least this time, I... helped him for a change.

__________

AN: Just so that you know, this is not the end! No way, no how, no chance.