*
MONDAY
Well, it feels like it's been weeks since anything happened that seemed to be worthy of comment, but I guess today was the exception. Today was good. Really good. I made a really big discovery, one that's going to make things a whole lot more pleasant. I don't have to phase my whole body to phase something else! In fact, the less of me I phase the easier it is to control the dispersion of whatever I'm touching. So, if I need a window big enough to get, say, me and Shalimar through, I only need to phase my hand – though perhaps a bit more if I need to fit someone like Brennan in there as well... And that means less effort, less risk of the molecules running amok, less soreness afterwards. Which is really great. I just can't believe it's taken me this long to find out...
But that still only puts me in about Junior High in terms of my learning curve, with graduation a hell of a long way off. I've run out of things to work with in the safehouses, though – apart from energy-based stuff, which is still high on my list of problem areas – and with the GSA out of the picture we've had very few opportunities to go use our new powers for real. We haven't even come up against Ashlocke and his people that much, despite Adam's fears. And practice for the sake of practicing gets pretty boring, even when it does produce results like today's.
But, although things have been so quiet out there, there've been some big changes in here.
Firstly Adam decided that, with Ashlocke on the loose out there plotting ways to rule the world – oh, and let's not forget the bit about destroying Mutant X from the ground up - we needed to re-vamp Sanctuary's systems, something I've been thinking about for a while now. Typical, isn't it? Can't count the number of times he's done that to me – come out with the very thing I was about to suggest to him. If I didn't know better I'd swear he was a psionic in disguise. But then again, if he was, he'd know exactly how I felt about having him insist we do it his way.
He probably hasn't noticed, but I'm actually better at this kind of stuff than he is. OK, so he's the genius, the one with the 170 plus IQ, but I've spent a lot more time playing in the virtual world than he has. It was all I had in my life at one time, the only thing that seemed real, and since I've been here I've learnt even more about how to make it work for me. I'd been making small modifications to the central processor for months before he realised, and that was only because it suddenly did something he'd just told everyone it couldn't. But that didn't stop him drawing up the plans and then expecting me to help him implement them, without considering that I might have some ideas that could improve on them.
Same with the Helix. Don't get me wrong, she was badly in need of an overhaul if we're going to match what Ashlocke's probably coming up with. But the whole thing would have taken half the time it did to pull the new specs together if I'd worked on them with him, instead of him trying to do it alone. Once he let me get involved properly we raced through it – and I'm pretty pleased with the results. The new systems in Sanctuary give us a lot of different options that we didn't have before, and flying is now a much more stimulating experience for all of us.
And at least it's given me something to focus on, keep myself from brooding on how other things have been changing in my life. How I've been changing and how little it seems anyone else recognises the fact. How they're all still expecting me to be the same good old Jesse who always cheerfully does what he's told without question, whose naivety makes him only ever see the good side of everyone and everything even though he inevitably ends up disappointed, who has to be protected from the realities of a world his 'silver spoon' upbringing left him unprepared for...
I never used to brood about anything, not really. I guess that's something else that's changed.
The others have been keeping themselves busy, too. Shalimar and Emma have been shopping. A lot. Something about it being good for the soul – though I still have no idea how they can possibly spend so much time - and money! – and seem to have so little to show for it. I mean, if I'm going to spend two hundred bucks on an item of clothing, I expect it to fill something bigger than the envelope sized bags they keep coming back with. But what do I know? Less is obviously more in the world of women's fashion...
I'm worried about Shal, though. The longer we've gone without having some concrete way of getting at Ashlocke, the angrier and more frustrated she's becoming. And that anger, allied with her new abilities, is beginning to make her more reckless than I've ever seen her. She been going off by herself more and more just recently, and I have a sneaking suspicion she's spending her time outside Genomex or The Strand, waiting and watching for him to come out. I don't know what she'll do if he ever does so without a squad of his private army in attendance – I don't think she knows herself, but that's not stopping her.
She's not saying – and neither is Emma, though I'm betting she's in on the secret – what's driving this growing hatred, but there's no doubt Ashlocke has gotten under her skin. It has to be something that happened while she was under his spell – and she'd have loathed that loss of self, I know. Not because she told me, though. She and I don't share things the way we used to, before the others came, and I miss that. But I can see that whatever it is, she's using it as the spur to hone her new powers so she'll be ready for when the time comes.
Brennan's getting ready in his own way too. He's been working out more than ever – like he wasn't big enough already. And when he's not working out, he's keeping an eye on Shal. I thought something might be going on between them a while back, but though I think Brennan's interest in her could definitely be more than just friendly, it doesn't look like she wants to change things that much right now. Maybe once Ashlocke is history things will look different – and I'm not sure how I'd feel about that...
Speaking of things looking different, Emma seems to have decided to celebrate her elevation to the ranks of the armed and dangerous with a pretty radical change in the hair department. It's kind of reddish now – red for danger, maybe? – and she's gone for, uh, 'interesting' bangs that I think she hopes will perhaps disguise the tell-tale glimmer of those mind-blasts of hers. She's getting a lot more... how shall I put it... assertive? as well. Confident. Sure of herself. And the new look is just another facet of that, I think.
It's been very quiet, though - even Proxy Blue's running out of things to say, which is so not her. But it's beginning to take on an ominous quality, like right before the storm breaks, which makes me think it's not going to stay quiet much longer. And I think I'm glad.
*
MONDAY
Well, it feels like it's been weeks since anything happened that seemed to be worthy of comment, but I guess today was the exception. Today was good. Really good. I made a really big discovery, one that's going to make things a whole lot more pleasant. I don't have to phase my whole body to phase something else! In fact, the less of me I phase the easier it is to control the dispersion of whatever I'm touching. So, if I need a window big enough to get, say, me and Shalimar through, I only need to phase my hand – though perhaps a bit more if I need to fit someone like Brennan in there as well... And that means less effort, less risk of the molecules running amok, less soreness afterwards. Which is really great. I just can't believe it's taken me this long to find out...
But that still only puts me in about Junior High in terms of my learning curve, with graduation a hell of a long way off. I've run out of things to work with in the safehouses, though – apart from energy-based stuff, which is still high on my list of problem areas – and with the GSA out of the picture we've had very few opportunities to go use our new powers for real. We haven't even come up against Ashlocke and his people that much, despite Adam's fears. And practice for the sake of practicing gets pretty boring, even when it does produce results like today's.
But, although things have been so quiet out there, there've been some big changes in here.
Firstly Adam decided that, with Ashlocke on the loose out there plotting ways to rule the world – oh, and let's not forget the bit about destroying Mutant X from the ground up - we needed to re-vamp Sanctuary's systems, something I've been thinking about for a while now. Typical, isn't it? Can't count the number of times he's done that to me – come out with the very thing I was about to suggest to him. If I didn't know better I'd swear he was a psionic in disguise. But then again, if he was, he'd know exactly how I felt about having him insist we do it his way.
He probably hasn't noticed, but I'm actually better at this kind of stuff than he is. OK, so he's the genius, the one with the 170 plus IQ, but I've spent a lot more time playing in the virtual world than he has. It was all I had in my life at one time, the only thing that seemed real, and since I've been here I've learnt even more about how to make it work for me. I'd been making small modifications to the central processor for months before he realised, and that was only because it suddenly did something he'd just told everyone it couldn't. But that didn't stop him drawing up the plans and then expecting me to help him implement them, without considering that I might have some ideas that could improve on them.
Same with the Helix. Don't get me wrong, she was badly in need of an overhaul if we're going to match what Ashlocke's probably coming up with. But the whole thing would have taken half the time it did to pull the new specs together if I'd worked on them with him, instead of him trying to do it alone. Once he let me get involved properly we raced through it – and I'm pretty pleased with the results. The new systems in Sanctuary give us a lot of different options that we didn't have before, and flying is now a much more stimulating experience for all of us.
And at least it's given me something to focus on, keep myself from brooding on how other things have been changing in my life. How I've been changing and how little it seems anyone else recognises the fact. How they're all still expecting me to be the same good old Jesse who always cheerfully does what he's told without question, whose naivety makes him only ever see the good side of everyone and everything even though he inevitably ends up disappointed, who has to be protected from the realities of a world his 'silver spoon' upbringing left him unprepared for...
I never used to brood about anything, not really. I guess that's something else that's changed.
The others have been keeping themselves busy, too. Shalimar and Emma have been shopping. A lot. Something about it being good for the soul – though I still have no idea how they can possibly spend so much time - and money! – and seem to have so little to show for it. I mean, if I'm going to spend two hundred bucks on an item of clothing, I expect it to fill something bigger than the envelope sized bags they keep coming back with. But what do I know? Less is obviously more in the world of women's fashion...
I'm worried about Shal, though. The longer we've gone without having some concrete way of getting at Ashlocke, the angrier and more frustrated she's becoming. And that anger, allied with her new abilities, is beginning to make her more reckless than I've ever seen her. She been going off by herself more and more just recently, and I have a sneaking suspicion she's spending her time outside Genomex or The Strand, waiting and watching for him to come out. I don't know what she'll do if he ever does so without a squad of his private army in attendance – I don't think she knows herself, but that's not stopping her.
She's not saying – and neither is Emma, though I'm betting she's in on the secret – what's driving this growing hatred, but there's no doubt Ashlocke has gotten under her skin. It has to be something that happened while she was under his spell – and she'd have loathed that loss of self, I know. Not because she told me, though. She and I don't share things the way we used to, before the others came, and I miss that. But I can see that whatever it is, she's using it as the spur to hone her new powers so she'll be ready for when the time comes.
Brennan's getting ready in his own way too. He's been working out more than ever – like he wasn't big enough already. And when he's not working out, he's keeping an eye on Shal. I thought something might be going on between them a while back, but though I think Brennan's interest in her could definitely be more than just friendly, it doesn't look like she wants to change things that much right now. Maybe once Ashlocke is history things will look different – and I'm not sure how I'd feel about that...
Speaking of things looking different, Emma seems to have decided to celebrate her elevation to the ranks of the armed and dangerous with a pretty radical change in the hair department. It's kind of reddish now – red for danger, maybe? – and she's gone for, uh, 'interesting' bangs that I think she hopes will perhaps disguise the tell-tale glimmer of those mind-blasts of hers. She's getting a lot more... how shall I put it... assertive? as well. Confident. Sure of herself. And the new look is just another facet of that, I think.
It's been very quiet, though - even Proxy Blue's running out of things to say, which is so not her. But it's beginning to take on an ominous quality, like right before the storm breaks, which makes me think it's not going to stay quiet much longer. And I think I'm glad.
*