HA! I'm baaaack! Hee, it took me a while to plan out this fic, but now I think I've got the swing of things. Also, I think I'll have a few Anime characters make cameos and give the D-cons hell. I'm sorry if I didn't use your suggestion, though. You can throw pennies at me until I cry or something if it makes you feel better. Oh, and I'll try to torture the D-cons, one per chapter.

@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@

SETTING: San Fransisco, California.

Sideways: Where the hell am I?! ::nearly gets hit by a cable car:: Woah!!

Cable car driver (CCD): 'EY!! Watch where the heck you're going!!

Sideways: Can you tell me where I am?

CCD: Yeah! You're in my mother fudging way!!

Sideways: Grrrrr… THAT'S IT! ::levels gun at the cable car::

[[Duel Mistress K appears out of nowhere shaking her finger in a scolding way]]

DMK: ah-ah-ah. You remember the rules, don't you?

Sideways: ::huffs:: I can't kill any people, I know…

DMK; Then don't!! Have a nice day!! ::warps away::

Sideways: that was strange…

CCD: Are you movin' or not bub?! I've got payin' customers 'ere!

Sideways: ::growls:: whatever. ::moves out of the way::

((cable car passes, but the Decepticon notices an egg sitting on the top of it))

Sideways: ::looks up to sky:: why me, Primus? WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?! What did I do to deserve this?? Little human who drives the car! WAIT!! ::runs after the cable car::

((chase goes on until they reach the station at Ghiradelli square))

Sideways: *panting* Damn. I never knew those cable cars could move so fast… ::takes the egg off of the cable car:: BWAHAHAHAHA! Victory is mine!!! Soon Megatron, I shall take control! Soon my master will-

((ground starts rumbling. People begin to scream and run around in circles))

Random Dude: DUDE! Like, EARTHQUAKE!!

((a crack in the ground opens up, and a gas line is exposed, which splits open. A spark goes flying…))

Sideways: Oh, poo.

BOOM!!

Sideways: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *takes breath* AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

((goes flying over the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate. Lands on an island in the middle of the San Fransisco Bay))

Sideways: X_X Owchies… Now where am I? ::sees a sign that says "Welcome to Alcatraz United States Penitentiary":: Great… ::sees another egg out on a flimsy building that's hanging over the ocean:: Ha! ::reaches out to grab it, but the old building falls apart, and he falls into the ocean.::

((Jaws Music starts playing))

Sideways: *sarcastically* Beautiful. Just beautiful.

((Jaws swims by and eats one of Sideways' eggs.))

Jaws: Yummy! Though I do prefer mine over easy…

Sideways: Oh no you don't!! ::stands up fully so that he's halfway out of the water. Grabs the shark by the tail and holds him upside down.:: Mine! Spit it out!

Jaws: *whimpering* B-but, I'm hungry…

Sideways: NOW!!!

Jaws: *sniffles* fine. ::spits out the egg:: There. Are you happy now?

Sideways: Yes, thank you. Go eat some hapless swimmer or something. They're much more filling.

Jaws: Hey! Good idea! Thanks, man! ::begins to swim off::

Sideways: Don't mention it.

Jaws: who-hoo!! Now I'm off to be evil and eat some person!

Sideways: You do that.

((Jaws swims off, humming cheery music))

Sideways: ::climbs back onto Alcatraz:: Primus, this planet is weird.

@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@*~*@

There. Pretty uneventful chappie, but I'll have Sideways get locked up in one of the jail cells or something in a future one. If you want any cameos of characters or authors, I might put them in there, depending which D-con you want to be seen with. (no glomping and/or beating up… that's my job ^_^)

Preview of next chapter: what do manatees, alligators, and swamps have in common? Starscream, of course! Stay tuned for more chaos as "Decepticon Mayhem" continues!