The Pranking Wars

Author's Note: Hey everybody! This is new fic that I decided to start. I have so far not had much attention with Harry Potter and the Curse of the Gypsy, but this story can help explain some of the things in that story if you have read it. This is year one through their deaths for Lily and James. It has an interesting way of looking at Lily, and I hope you like it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Harry Potter or any character from these books. I own the plot of this story, and Cassy Reed. That is it. Okay, got that? Now you can't sue me.

Chapter Six

Sirius and James looked towards the source of the explosion with twin knowing looks on their faces.

"And so it begins." James muttered as Sirius snickered. They saw Snape rush out of the hall and grinned evilly---revenge was always so sweet.

"Do you think he'll figure out we did it?" Sirius snorted.

"Dunno---is he that smart, do you think?"

Sirius shrugged and basked in the pleasure of hearing the entire great hall, including a vast majority of the Slytherins, break out into riotous laughter.

The banner hung jauntily in the air, small puffs of smoke still swirling about it from the miniature explosion. One glance at it did everything that Sirius and James could never do by themselves. They hadn't created the humiliation after all. They had just let the entire world in on the joke.

Snape. Dressed as a bunny. Yes, that was right, THE Snape, dressed as a furry little woodland creature, at approximately nine years of age. From where he sat, James saw Isabelle look up at the portrait. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped when she saw the scowling boy, sneering at the entire world from the confines of the picture. Slowly she turned to Sirius and James, a frown on her face.

'This can't be good.' James thought nervously as she made her way to their table. Sirius seemed to be echoing the sentiment.

"Where did you get that?" she hissed. James and Sirius looked at each other, paling.

"Erm...we just...found it." Sirius mumbled, turning beet red.

"And just how did you..." she froze and turned, crossing her arms sternly over her chest.

"DONOVAN!!!" Donovan glanced up at Isabelle, the large grin melting off his face when he saw her expression.

"Yes, Izzy?"

"HOW DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE OF MY BROTHER?!?" she screeched. Donovan backed away slowly, raking a hand through his hair.

"I...I didn't mean...it was all in fun, Izzy, I didn't mean to..."

"Don't you have better ways to spend your time than to help these...these...hoodlums torment my brother!?" she spat, raising her brows.

"He started it!" Donovan stuttered. "He got them in trouble...honestly, it wasn't meant to hurt..."

"Donovan, you know what Severus has been through." She hissed, turning a dark look at Sirius and James. "Couldn't you convince these two to be a little nicer to him? Perhaps be his friend..."

"No!" James and Sirius shouted simultaneously. She turned to look at them, scowling.

"We can't be friends with that git!" James said without thinking. "He's awful! And...and...he's got greasy hair, and he's slimy, and..."

"I'll have you know Severus is one of the nicest little boys I've ever met, which is more than I can say for you two. And lay off the hair...he can't help it. I can't help it...it runs in the family." She snorted. She poked Donovan in the chest as she walked away. "And as for you..."

"I'll meet you in the library at seven. As usual." He grinned, despite himself.

She shook her head and smiled. "Of course. Just don't give these two any more...ideas."

'Like he needs to.' James thought smugly. 'We can come up with our own pranks ourselves.'

"I see what you're thinking." Donovan said shortly, glaring at James. "And, funny as this was...well, Isabelle is right. Lay off the kid, all right? At least...don't do anything to him until he does something to you. And don't tell anybody I said that."

"Okay." Sirius snorted. "But I am NOT going to say I regret this. Because I definitely don't."

"Me neither. That chit had it coming." Donovan winked. "But don't tell my girl I said that."

Sirius and James rolled their eyes in unison as he walked away. "His girl?" James murmured. "You'd think a Gryffindor would have more sense than to date a Slytherin."

"Well...if it's that Slytherin..." Sirius said thoughtfully, stopping when he saw the horrified look on James' face. "Oh come off it, you know as I well as I do that she's got certain...qualities."

"No thank you." James said disgustedly. "I'd rather not have Snape as my brother, thank you very much."

"Hey, at least you don't have to worry about it." Sirius shook his head. "The rate that those two are going, they're going to end up married within a couple of years."

James snorted. "Lucky you." He murmured.

They sat in silence for a long moment. James was thinking over the situation. It had been a good prank---one of his best ever. But for some reason it didn't seem to work as well as he had hoped. Other than the occasional snicker, the effect had died away and Professor McGonogall and Sisal were already at work tearing the banner down, which was hard as James had seen it fit to put twenty behind it, should Snape himself try and take it down.

"Don't you think we could have done better?" he finally muttered. Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, but..."

"It's because you didn't look hard enough." James and Sirius glanced up. Remus was standing behind them, arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"What d'you want, Loopy?" Sirius smirked. "More abusing?"

"No, I was just going to say if you're going to pull a prank on Snape, you need to do it right. Sure, you can do stuff to bruise his ego, but it won't hurt much---he really isn't like most Slytherins, in that way. You have to hit him where it hurts."

"And just how do you know this?" James scoffed. Remus raised a brow.

"Excuse me? I've lived next to him for a year, and other than this weird kid who turned out to be a squib and didn't even get a letter, he's the only other kid my age in town. He lives in this old orphanage that smells distinctly like cabbage, and his sister helps the old witch take care of the place."

"And...this helps us how?"

"I know Snape," Remus said, "weird as it may be. And there are much worse ways to hurt him. The bunny thing---cute, but after a few laughs it'll get really old."

"And so what are you suggesting, oh wise one?" Sirius cut in sarcastically.

"Make it last." Remus declared. "Make it something nobody will ever forget."

"And that would be..."

"I don't know yet." Remus shrugged. "But...listen, if we team up, with James' skill, Sirius' work and planning, and my brains, we can make it something that will last."

Sirius and James looked at each other for a long moment. "Reckon we should?" James muttered.

"Well...Loopy could be a big help, much as I hate to admit it. And now that Isabelle is on our tail..." He looked at Remus and nodded. "It's a deal."

"I agree." James said firmly. "Welcome aboard." He extended his hand. Remus looked at it, raising a brow. "Come on...I haven't cursed my own hand, Loopy."

"All...all right..." he reached out and jerked back when something stung him. "Ouch! You said you didn't..."

"I didn't." James said smugly as he pulled a strange, small metal device out of his palm. "Muggle trick. Used it all the time before I was allowed to really use a wand."

"Oh, the pleasure." Remus said sarcastically. "Listen, if this is all..."

"No." James sighed. "That was it---promise. From now on---or at least till we get Snape back, good---it's a truce between us. Partners?" He put his palm out again...palm up, so Remus could see it was empty. Reluctantly he shook it. Thankfully nothing happened.

Sirius did the same. "Partners." He muttered. Remus turned to go but was stopped when James tapped him on the shoulder.

"Why do you want to help, exactly?" He said suspiciously.

Remus' eyes filled with irritation. "He's gotten on my nerves one too many times. He's worse than you, because he doesn't do anything in fun...just plain nastiness. He's ticked me off one too many times, and..." he shot the red head girls a look, "and this time he finally went too far."

"And by that you mean...?"

"He called Lily a mudblood."

James and Sirius looked taken aback. "He called her a WHAT?!" James shouted. "That disgusting...I oughtta do more than just prank him, I should..."

"Why didn't you tell us that straight off?" Sirius sneered.

"I...I didn't know if that would be enough to make you help." Remus said, turning red.

"Listen, we may not be wholesome young lads..." Sirius started. Remus snorted. "but we don't like to hear stupid junk like that. Lily may be a bit of a...shrew...but she's smart, and nice, if she wants to be. When we were caught she didn't even flinch, and she could have let us take the fall for it...but she didn't. She didn't try and blame anything on us, and she could have...even we admit that. So...she's not that bad." He frowned. "In fact, I think she's started to get on my good side...imagine that."

"I agree." James said, squinting towards the doors Snape had hastily exited from. "What he said...that's disgusting. He'd better learn. Or my name isn't James Harold Potter the third."

"Excuse me?" Sirius snorted. "Your middle name is Harold? Maybe I should call you Harry from now on."

"Harry Potter?" James said strangely. "Has a nice ring."

"Maybe you could call your kid that when you finally marry Lily. After all, it is a redhead you want." James snorted and smacked Sirius in the head.

"And...I think I'll be going..." Remus said, chuckling.

"Oh, don't think it's too odd...Sirius here has a fetish for redheads and he seems to think I go for that too. But it's okay...just keep the Weasley family safe. I think Arthur fancies Molly Reed too much to be going after Sirius here."

"What have I gotten myself into?" Remus muttered as he walked away.

'You have no idea.' James thought to himself smugly. 'Be prepared.'

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"That was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen." Cassy snickered to Lily. They had just gotten out of charms, and were releasing their energy by pacing down the halls, waiting before Lily had to go to her detention.

"Yeah...I'll never forget that. But somehow I don't think it's over." Lily sighed. "I kind of wish James and Sirius had let us in on that. After all, I was the one who got in trouble because of him, too."

"Yeah, but they're guys." Cassy snorted. "Think what it would do to their precious ego if they had a girl helping them torment another student. It would damage their manly superiority."

"Yeah." Lily snorted. "Right. And then pigs will sprout wings and Professor McGonogall will give up her strict appearance and go-go dance on the Great Table.

"Go-go dance?" Cassy frowned. "What's that?"

"Oh..." Lily sighed. "A muggle thing. It's some weird dance everybody was doing a few years back. I wish you could have seen it."

"Well? Can't you do it?"

"What?" Lily exclaimed. "You can't really expect me to..."

"And why not?" Cassy snickered. "Chicken?"

"No...I just don't want to use up all of my energy before that stupid detention." Lily said, blushing darkly.

"Oh, you wimp. There's nobody around...just try it, will you? We don't even have any books or anything. If anybody comes we can just scamper."

"Oh...all right." Lily ignored Cassy's snickers and looked around her. "Well, you see, they usually do it in a cage sort of thing..."

"A cage? What is this, torture?"

"No." Lily sighed. "Listen, I'm just going to do it. Watch out please? I don't want to be embarassed."

"Fine." Cassy glanced around. "I don't see anybody."

"O-kay..." Lily sighed. She glanced down at herself. "Well, I...can't do it in my robe. I've got...appropriate clothes on underneath."

"Fine." Cassy snorted. "I'll hold your robe."

With trepidation Lily tugged it off her shoulders. She had on a black plaid skirt underneath, with the required shirt and tie. She wore knee high boots. "At least there aren't any other...weird muggle dances you're making me do."

"Well? Get on with it." Cassy snorted. Lily shrugged.

Resignedly, Lily posed seductively, her arms above her head. "Well, you see Cassy, you have to look like you're sexy...really sexy. So you swing your hips..." Lily began to demonstrate, while Cassy burst out laughing, "and then you put the rest of your body into it, arms and everything." She started moving her entire body to some unheard music, Cassy choking down raucous laughter.

Lily, now losing her shyness, began dancing more quickly, putting more of herself into it. "And then, you have to swing your bum a bit...you know, to get the boys all randy..." she demonstrated by bending over, looking over her shoulder and fluttering her lashes. Cassy squealed.

"And then, this is the most important part, you get your arse..." she turned quickly, shaking her shoulders. And noticed suddenly that Cassy had gone silent. "Cass..." she froze when she heard Sisal's cold voice.

"I'll thank you not to get your 'groove on' in our halls." Sisal snorted. Lily turned quickly, flushing brightly. Sirius and James were standing beside her, awestruck. "It is time for your detention. Put on your robes and come with me. Detention plans have been slightly altered."

"Yes...yes ma'am." Lily squeaked as she slid them on, desperately trying not to make eye contact with the boys.

"Follow me." Lily gave Cassy a helpless look, feeling a ball of ice in her stomach that was quickly working it's way up her spine. She scarcely seemed to notice when they exited the castle. "Here you are." Sisal said icily. Lily glanced over at Sirius and James. They didn't seem to know what to make of the situation either. They had stopped just outside Hagrid's cabin.

Hagrid stuck his bushy head out and grinned at them. "Now, now...wha' are these ruffians doin' 'ere? Plannin' on lettin' me work 'em over, eh, Professor?"

Sisal sneered disapprovingly. "Yes, Hagrid. They are here. Please make sure they are back to the castle by midnight. And do try and keep them from getting killed. Dumbledore seems to frown on that." She gave the three a harsh look. "Goodness knows why."

Hagrid looked taken aback. " 'Ere...'ere, professor. They'll be safe...Fang'll get 'em back. And don't worry, the forest ain't too bad...after you get over the first few creeps."

"The...the forest?" Lily squeaked. "We're going...in the forest?"

"Yeh...sorry, Lily. Yeh'll be okay, don' worry. 'Side, ya' got these two lads ter keep yeh safe." Lily glanced over at the boys, who wore looks of evil excitement. "Wonderful." She murmured.

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Hey! It's been so long since I have updated! I know, I know...horrible, eh? Well, I hope you like this chapter...it was a bit odd, but it is not meant to really fit into the rest of the story. It is a transition...and mostly comedy. Please read and review, and be sure to read my other work. It is all under the pen name Megx, on both this site and fictionpress.net. Please READ AND REVIEW! Thanks!