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Pippin is my cousin, and I love him dearly, but when I saw the look of pain and shock on his face, I didn't know what to do. He was in shock, staring straight ahead. It was no seizure, for his eyes blinked and he was shaking with fear. After trying to get his father's attention for a few minutes, Faramir came over to me.
"Uncle Merry! Please come and help her!" I looked into his sweet face, and it broke my heart. I stood and took his hand, but first went to Pippin.
"I'll be back, Pip. Don't worry, I'll be here. It's going to be all right. I promise."
It was a promise that seemed false.
Baby Niphredil was blue, and she wasn't moving, so Faramir said. How could
I promise she would be all right if she wasn't? How could I be sure of
my own promises?
I let Faramir lead me into the nursery. He peered over the side of the little bassinet where his baby sister lay. Sure enough, she was a very pale blue. Her chest did not rise up and down, and when I put my hand on her heart, I felt nothing. Her pulse also brought nothing. She was dead.
"Uncle Merry, why isn't she moving?"
"Faramir..." With a deep sigh, I took the little one onto my lap as I moved to sit in the rocking chair in the room. "Faramir, your sister...she has...or had something rare. It must run through the Took line. My own sister had it."
"You had a sister, Uncle Merry? Where is she?"
"Dead, Faramir. She died on the eve of her first month. I was quite small, then, perhaps your age, maybe a little younger. Do you remember how the birth of hobbit children isn't to be annouced to anyone outside the family until forty days after the baby is born?"
"Yes, I know."
"No one ever knew about my sister, except for myself and father, mother, and a select few servants. My mother and father chose not to tell anyone about the little one. She was never spoken of, and I was told never to tell anyone about what had happened. They told me, briefly, what had happened. What this is, it usually strikes one out of every ten thousand hobbit children. It is a very rare sort of thing, passed on in families. Sometimes, it just springs up. It has been known to skip at least six generations, and reappear in the seventh. It's called....called...hold on, let me think....ah yes, it's called Acinius. It usually always happens to the second child, though sometimes it's the third or fourth. Once you have a child struck by it, you can never have children again. I don't know why that is, but you, Faramir, have a very good chance of being the only child in this family."
My explanation was, I knew, not too difficult for him to understand, for he had a truly great mind, smart for his age. I could see in his eyes, the same look his father had, when he was thinking hard, piecing things together.
"I loved my sister." He said finally.
"I know you did. Your father and mother loved her dearly, as they loves you. I'm sorry this had to happen to your family. You would have made such a good brother, Faramir."
"Uncle Merry, can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"I listened to you and Papa talking before I came to see my sister. You said you and Auntie Estella didn't want any children. Is this why? You don't want her to be said about this, in case you have it too?"
The question jolted me, and I looked into his deep blue eyes. They were searching my own eyes. I lowered my head.
"That's part of the reason, yes."
"I wish I had some cousins..."
"Faramir, you have three aunts and twelve cousins!"
"I mean, I wish you had a son. I wish I had a cousin like my papa had with you. I don't like my cousins. They're mean, and they pick on me. I'm younger than them all, except for Desmonia and Rose, and they're just as mean." He sniffled, and wiped his nose.
"Go into the washroom and wash your face and get changed for supper. I'm going to go and talk with Pi-with your father. If the door is shut when you finish, come to sit with your sister and watch over her, ok?"
"Yes, Uncle Merry." He climbed from
my lap and hugged me. "Thank you."
When I went back into Pippin's study, he was turned back around, facing his desk, sitting there, staring at the window. I put my hand on his shoulder gently, and he jumped and turned to look at me. His green eyes were stained with tears.
"Why us?" He said. "Why us? Why us?"
"You know what it could mean? It's called Acinius. I had a sister who died from it."
"You never had a sister." He said quietly.
"I did. She died, though, before her introduction day. The eve of her first month."
"This is the eve of Niphredil's first month, Merry."
"I feared it would happen. I don't
know why. I feared it. You're lucky to have a healthy son to carry on your
name."
"I'd rather have a healthy son to
carry on my name and a healthy daughter at the same time."
"Things don't work that way all the time, Pippin."
"Why not?" He snapped. He was angry and scared, I could tell. I wanted to take him in my arms and soothe him, as I had done when we were younger, but we were too old for that now, and it would seem awkward.
"Do you want to go for a walk, Pippin?"
"A walk?"
"Before it's time for supper. You can talk with me."
"I have to finish my work." He said. There was a spark of anger in his voice I'd never heard before. I reached and pulled the quill from his hand.
"Walk with me, Pippin. You have to get your anger out."
"You're right, Merry. Can you tell...tell Goldie to give Faramir his supper and put him down for a nap. I don't know how long this may take. I'm all mixed up inside."
Nodding, I quickly went to inform the nursery maid what to do with Faramir, and where the Thain and I were going. I also informed her of what had happened to Niphredil. Not in full, but I told her what she should have known. Eyes wide, hand over her mouth in disbelief, she nodded, and went into the nursery. I heard a gasp, but didn't stay to hear anymore. Pippin was waiting by the door. I opened it for him, and we stepped out into the sun. The cool breeze rippled through our hair. We walked for a while, not speaking. I decided to break the ice.
"What's on your mind?"