Yelena
A/N: My first xXx story, I have this pretty much mapped out, it's just a
matter of reviews please! I'm begging you! (crying).
If you are going to flame me, keep it constructive pls! But at least it'll
b a review-I'm a v. sad person lol.
Disclaimer" I don't own any characters in the xXx movie at all.
"Welcome to the return of the Xander zone, and after working with the U.S government, I can successfully say that their hardware isn't bad, but what they do have a lot of, is money. I've just been given $5000 so I think I'm going to have some fun". Xander Cage grinned into a camera, as his friend and cameraman Rob Wildes panned it around him. "I've just returned from Boras Boras, what a nice place, and I'm now in Switzerland, quite a contrast."
Xander grinned once more, walking over to a car parked nearby, and got in on the passenger side of the car. "My Beautiful assistant' he continued, "will be driving the car, which appears to be owned by the nice man Greg Newman. Now we all know him don't we? He's the wonderful man that invented a firewall. We all use firewalls don't we? I use tem so I can put my 'educational' videos on the website. But" Xander paused attempting dramatics," Greg, you don't mind if I call you Greg do you Greg? Invented UniWall, as much as a nice man I'm sure he is, he invented a firewall which he claimed was unhackable, creating an influx of them in the first 72 hours after it's release. Two thousand hackers were arrested during that 72 hours, which severely pissed, not me, but some of my close friends, off. I don't do computers, I can't understand them- scary things. My friends however, got very angry at it, so you might call this a, Uhhh, favour for them".
Yelena got in on the driver's seat of the car, shutting the door gently with a click. She looked around at the interior of the soft top car, a very flash Mazda MX5. "Wow. Greg must have sold himself to buy this, unless he set a record for most people pissed off and collected the prize money" Yelena said sarcastically. Xander snorted, putting on an over the top German accent .
"ves, ve Mazda techinciens do make vour cars well don't we?" Returning to his normal voice, He asked the camera "Did you ever see an edition of the English Car show Top Gear? If you didn't I'll tell you about it" Xander paused for a moment before continuing "They discovered that the only good Mazda car was the MX 6, not the MX 5, which most Mazda owners already knew about. Mazdas may have looked good, but unfortunately they had one crucial flaw, which I'm sure, all Mazda owners, but unfortunately not the developers, for some reason have discovered until relatively recently, that flaw. It was that; Mazdas could go up to 120 mph, but then, you couldn't steer. You'd drive into a wall before turning."
Xander was dressed in a cross between a wetsuit and a ski suit, which was thoughtfully made by his ex girlfriend, after much swearing. "Are you ready Yelena?" he asked her, meeting her eyes for a moment before getting into the car with a thud. He pressed a button on the dashboard, letting the roof fold back to the back of the car. "Much as I love soft top cars, it isn't really brilliant when it's -10 degrees out there". Xander grinned at Yelena for a moment before continuing to no one in particular, his face in a slight pout. "and I wanted girls in bikinis for this video! Maybe next time".
They finished rolling the tape, cut it, and replaced it with a new one. Much to Xander's annoyance, he was forced to wear a helmet, for the simple fact that they wanted to video tape it from his point of view this time. Xander did want it taped to his head originally, but, as Yelena pointed out rather cruelly, much as he didn't have much hair left on his head, it would still hurt to rip off duct tape. Yelena had said this with a slight smile, making Xander wonder, not for the first time, if his girlfriend was slightly sadistic.
A digital relay camera was strapped to the front of the car, and side by side with Rob's van, another friend leaning out of the door filming. Later, they would splice it, and piece it together to form a good video. "Now remember", Xander told the camera in a voice that seemed like he was talking to a 5 year old, "When you're in Switzerland, they drive on the left side of the road. And never, ever, play in traffic" . Xander glanced towards Samine, now doing around 60 miles an hour down a thin lane, almost hitting an old women out shopping at nine o'clock in the morning. "Now Yelena, I know that we all hate old people, but I that's no excuse to run them over." Yelena smiled and hit him on the arm, pretending to be insulted. Her eyes flicked back to the road, reading the French (or Suisse, as they called it) in the road signs.
"Xander, five minutes". Yelena told him, and taking one last look at sanity, she accelerated down the road. Xander took one last look at the camera too, telling it "I'm not going to tell you what I'm actually going to do with the car, that's a surprise, so if you're good, I might tell you. Xander leant over the back seat of the car, pulling out what appeared to be a mannequin, sitting it in his seat. He crawled over to the back seat, sitting on it, and fiddling with something down by the floor. Yelena didn't know what it all was, she hadn't been told herself, just to jump out, and after ten seconds, pull thee parachute cable. She craned her neck, trying to see what Xander was doing, but he was bent over it, shielding it jealously from the cameras, and, she reminded herself, from her.
"30 seconds Xander" She almost screamed. This was the first time she had ever done anything like this, and her stomach appeared to be doing back flips. Xander shouted something inaudible over the wind that had picked up.
He leant back one last time, picking up a black box with wiring attached, and clipped it onto the mannequin. Their eyes met for a moment, before Xander shouted "3,2,1, JUMP! Before pushing himself off the side of the car, as it drove itself off a mountain side, 3000 feet up. He had attached a snowboard to his feet and was now doing tail grabs. He twisted towards the car one last time, and pressed a timer on his suit. The mannequin popped up into a sitting position, it's hand raised, the middle finger clearly showing to the camera. "And that Greg, is from America! If you can't hack it, Get bent!" Xander yelled, before looking anxiously for Yelena, noticing her in relief safely parachuting downwards towards the drop site. Xander pulled his Cord, and was immediately slowed down by his parachute. He started humming to himself, the Ramstein Song he had heard when investigating Anarchy '99 for the NSA. Nice people, the Russians, he thought sarcastically. They would have been popular if they hadn't tried to kill the World. Xander was supposed to be relaxing for a couple of weeks, before returning to work for the obliging U.S government.
He was nearing the top of the powder, and was gently drifting down to the snow. "Now you'll know, why we chose Greg's Mazda. You may have noticed, that it didn't turn, So technically, we were doing Greg a favour by destroying it, because of course, we didn't give it a parachute, but if he had used the car, then sooner or later he would have been in an accident, and we wouldn't want Greg to die now would we?".
Xander told the camera happily. He was doing what he loved. He wasn't sure that many people would have cared if Greg died actually. He didn't appear to be very popular.
Xander was 15 feet from the ground, and on an impulse, dropped to the floor. Dropping his parachute in a swift movement. He had had a custom parachute made, this one with his codename 'xXx' imprinted on it, just to let the NSA know if they saw it, which he was sure they would, that Xander hadn't appreciated being forced to work for a government he hated, and that he hadn't completely changed, even if he liked the work given to him. He didn't like leaving it behind.
A ripping sound was heard, and Xander glanced behind him, as he saw bullet holes rip through his parachute, and saw a black skimobile cut through the snow towards him.
"Oh shit" Xander said, rolling his eyes. "You know that I'm on vacation, I really shouldn't have to deal with some rich kid on a scooter", Xander shouted over his shoulder, to which the Mobilist replied with a burst from an automatic.
Xander smiled, saying to himself "oh yay, a little boy with a big toy, happy smiles!' Before putting his middle finger up at the Ski mobile, and then kicking himself off down the mountain run. "And now, viewers, we get to see how to avoid Swiss traffic police, who seem to consider that they find it there duty to arrest anything that moves, believing it should have a clamp on it." Xander finished talking, and concentrated on Boarding. Hitting a snow bank, he pulled a nose grab, on the thinking that he might as well enjoy this. He hit the base of the jump, accelerating slightly. He glanced over his shoulder, at the advancing Ski Mobile, and at that second, hit a snow bank. "Oh Crap!" Xander said, half to himself, as his neck was thrown backwards, and then forwards forcefully, whiplash setting in. He made the jump, just; landing on his feet oddly, and he swore again as he thought his ankle was twisted. The roar of the motor grew louder, and he was hit hard from the back of head. "So much for the helmet" he muttered half consciously to himself, before falling, unconscious into the snow.
The ski mobile pulled over, strapping him to the back. "I have Cage" he said to a radio, before accelerating off, Xander in tow.
A/N: Dun Dun Duh! Cliff hanger! What will happen? Will Xander be ok? Find out, after the break, lol. Review please!
Disclaimer" I don't own any characters in the xXx movie at all.
"Welcome to the return of the Xander zone, and after working with the U.S government, I can successfully say that their hardware isn't bad, but what they do have a lot of, is money. I've just been given $5000 so I think I'm going to have some fun". Xander Cage grinned into a camera, as his friend and cameraman Rob Wildes panned it around him. "I've just returned from Boras Boras, what a nice place, and I'm now in Switzerland, quite a contrast."
Xander grinned once more, walking over to a car parked nearby, and got in on the passenger side of the car. "My Beautiful assistant' he continued, "will be driving the car, which appears to be owned by the nice man Greg Newman. Now we all know him don't we? He's the wonderful man that invented a firewall. We all use firewalls don't we? I use tem so I can put my 'educational' videos on the website. But" Xander paused attempting dramatics," Greg, you don't mind if I call you Greg do you Greg? Invented UniWall, as much as a nice man I'm sure he is, he invented a firewall which he claimed was unhackable, creating an influx of them in the first 72 hours after it's release. Two thousand hackers were arrested during that 72 hours, which severely pissed, not me, but some of my close friends, off. I don't do computers, I can't understand them- scary things. My friends however, got very angry at it, so you might call this a, Uhhh, favour for them".
Yelena got in on the driver's seat of the car, shutting the door gently with a click. She looked around at the interior of the soft top car, a very flash Mazda MX5. "Wow. Greg must have sold himself to buy this, unless he set a record for most people pissed off and collected the prize money" Yelena said sarcastically. Xander snorted, putting on an over the top German accent .
"ves, ve Mazda techinciens do make vour cars well don't we?" Returning to his normal voice, He asked the camera "Did you ever see an edition of the English Car show Top Gear? If you didn't I'll tell you about it" Xander paused for a moment before continuing "They discovered that the only good Mazda car was the MX 6, not the MX 5, which most Mazda owners already knew about. Mazdas may have looked good, but unfortunately they had one crucial flaw, which I'm sure, all Mazda owners, but unfortunately not the developers, for some reason have discovered until relatively recently, that flaw. It was that; Mazdas could go up to 120 mph, but then, you couldn't steer. You'd drive into a wall before turning."
Xander was dressed in a cross between a wetsuit and a ski suit, which was thoughtfully made by his ex girlfriend, after much swearing. "Are you ready Yelena?" he asked her, meeting her eyes for a moment before getting into the car with a thud. He pressed a button on the dashboard, letting the roof fold back to the back of the car. "Much as I love soft top cars, it isn't really brilliant when it's -10 degrees out there". Xander grinned at Yelena for a moment before continuing to no one in particular, his face in a slight pout. "and I wanted girls in bikinis for this video! Maybe next time".
They finished rolling the tape, cut it, and replaced it with a new one. Much to Xander's annoyance, he was forced to wear a helmet, for the simple fact that they wanted to video tape it from his point of view this time. Xander did want it taped to his head originally, but, as Yelena pointed out rather cruelly, much as he didn't have much hair left on his head, it would still hurt to rip off duct tape. Yelena had said this with a slight smile, making Xander wonder, not for the first time, if his girlfriend was slightly sadistic.
A digital relay camera was strapped to the front of the car, and side by side with Rob's van, another friend leaning out of the door filming. Later, they would splice it, and piece it together to form a good video. "Now remember", Xander told the camera in a voice that seemed like he was talking to a 5 year old, "When you're in Switzerland, they drive on the left side of the road. And never, ever, play in traffic" . Xander glanced towards Samine, now doing around 60 miles an hour down a thin lane, almost hitting an old women out shopping at nine o'clock in the morning. "Now Yelena, I know that we all hate old people, but I that's no excuse to run them over." Yelena smiled and hit him on the arm, pretending to be insulted. Her eyes flicked back to the road, reading the French (or Suisse, as they called it) in the road signs.
"Xander, five minutes". Yelena told him, and taking one last look at sanity, she accelerated down the road. Xander took one last look at the camera too, telling it "I'm not going to tell you what I'm actually going to do with the car, that's a surprise, so if you're good, I might tell you. Xander leant over the back seat of the car, pulling out what appeared to be a mannequin, sitting it in his seat. He crawled over to the back seat, sitting on it, and fiddling with something down by the floor. Yelena didn't know what it all was, she hadn't been told herself, just to jump out, and after ten seconds, pull thee parachute cable. She craned her neck, trying to see what Xander was doing, but he was bent over it, shielding it jealously from the cameras, and, she reminded herself, from her.
"30 seconds Xander" She almost screamed. This was the first time she had ever done anything like this, and her stomach appeared to be doing back flips. Xander shouted something inaudible over the wind that had picked up.
He leant back one last time, picking up a black box with wiring attached, and clipped it onto the mannequin. Their eyes met for a moment, before Xander shouted "3,2,1, JUMP! Before pushing himself off the side of the car, as it drove itself off a mountain side, 3000 feet up. He had attached a snowboard to his feet and was now doing tail grabs. He twisted towards the car one last time, and pressed a timer on his suit. The mannequin popped up into a sitting position, it's hand raised, the middle finger clearly showing to the camera. "And that Greg, is from America! If you can't hack it, Get bent!" Xander yelled, before looking anxiously for Yelena, noticing her in relief safely parachuting downwards towards the drop site. Xander pulled his Cord, and was immediately slowed down by his parachute. He started humming to himself, the Ramstein Song he had heard when investigating Anarchy '99 for the NSA. Nice people, the Russians, he thought sarcastically. They would have been popular if they hadn't tried to kill the World. Xander was supposed to be relaxing for a couple of weeks, before returning to work for the obliging U.S government.
He was nearing the top of the powder, and was gently drifting down to the snow. "Now you'll know, why we chose Greg's Mazda. You may have noticed, that it didn't turn, So technically, we were doing Greg a favour by destroying it, because of course, we didn't give it a parachute, but if he had used the car, then sooner or later he would have been in an accident, and we wouldn't want Greg to die now would we?".
Xander told the camera happily. He was doing what he loved. He wasn't sure that many people would have cared if Greg died actually. He didn't appear to be very popular.
Xander was 15 feet from the ground, and on an impulse, dropped to the floor. Dropping his parachute in a swift movement. He had had a custom parachute made, this one with his codename 'xXx' imprinted on it, just to let the NSA know if they saw it, which he was sure they would, that Xander hadn't appreciated being forced to work for a government he hated, and that he hadn't completely changed, even if he liked the work given to him. He didn't like leaving it behind.
A ripping sound was heard, and Xander glanced behind him, as he saw bullet holes rip through his parachute, and saw a black skimobile cut through the snow towards him.
"Oh shit" Xander said, rolling his eyes. "You know that I'm on vacation, I really shouldn't have to deal with some rich kid on a scooter", Xander shouted over his shoulder, to which the Mobilist replied with a burst from an automatic.
Xander smiled, saying to himself "oh yay, a little boy with a big toy, happy smiles!' Before putting his middle finger up at the Ski mobile, and then kicking himself off down the mountain run. "And now, viewers, we get to see how to avoid Swiss traffic police, who seem to consider that they find it there duty to arrest anything that moves, believing it should have a clamp on it." Xander finished talking, and concentrated on Boarding. Hitting a snow bank, he pulled a nose grab, on the thinking that he might as well enjoy this. He hit the base of the jump, accelerating slightly. He glanced over his shoulder, at the advancing Ski Mobile, and at that second, hit a snow bank. "Oh Crap!" Xander said, half to himself, as his neck was thrown backwards, and then forwards forcefully, whiplash setting in. He made the jump, just; landing on his feet oddly, and he swore again as he thought his ankle was twisted. The roar of the motor grew louder, and he was hit hard from the back of head. "So much for the helmet" he muttered half consciously to himself, before falling, unconscious into the snow.
The ski mobile pulled over, strapping him to the back. "I have Cage" he said to a radio, before accelerating off, Xander in tow.
A/N: Dun Dun Duh! Cliff hanger! What will happen? Will Xander be ok? Find out, after the break, lol. Review please!