WEEK 4:
CUTS TO outside a McDonalds. As is with every McDonalds, there are many seagulls and small birds hopping about pecking on fries in the background. A squad of phone people are standing nearby, talking disgruntledly on cell phones, which have 900- number proofing. (A/N: Heh heh) Aunt Nina is nearby, sitting in her car vindictively glaring and eating a Happy Meal. She seems to dislike the little Lilo & Stitch toy they gave her (or is it her niece she's glaring at. . . ).
I, wearing a jacket covered in drywall dust, walk into view of the camera. As always, I am carrying a microphone.
ME: Hello. Due to the fact that our studio is being renovated, this installment of 'The World Domination Fund' comes to you outside a McDonalds. Hey, we tried to rent a space, but the Waldorf wouldn't even talk to us! Even Roach's Delight- I'm sorry, COACH'S Delight- called us a scam. . . But you, dear viewers, know differently! *pauses for breath* Anyway, this week my fictional co- host came all the way from the future to help us- Shamus Harper from Andromeda!
*Harper walks up next to me, eating a Chicken Fajita.*
Harper, with mouth full: Hi. Do you have the money we agreed on?
ME: Shamus, Shamus, this is all for charity. *under breath* How many times do I have to tell you people! Of course!
HARPER: OK! Then we are ready to roll! I gotta tell you, this is a wonderful opportunity to express my views on World Domination.
ME: And what ARE your views on World Domination?
HARPER: Well, Tyr says the strongest and most intelligent people will win. Of course, it's really the ones with the biggest weapons and the coolest ships.
*I am about to speak when the same random assistant as last time comes up and hands me another piece of paper, which I again read*
ME: Excellent news! Eduardo has now taken over Puerto Rico and will give a speech from the capital in a few minutes. Also, the 35 cents from Elenea plus the evil horse Blessing (which is a contradiction) from Sqwonk are awaiting governmental clearance to enter China. We tried to keep the donated Lestat, but he was rescued by bodyguards Anne Rice assigned him to keep him safe from crazy fanfic authors & little kids. Oh, and Olga's getting an insane nuclear- weapons- smuggling hamster, again from Sqwonk, and a gold crucifix (which will be sold to a museum for BIG money) from Ruthven & Draculena. Whew, we had a lot of donations. *looks directly into camera* See, Boromir! They DO want to help the little children! HA!
***
Boromir, from his cell in Sing Sing, where he went for destruction of property: Meh. Yo, Bubba, pass me the chips.
Bubba, handing bowl of chips to Boromir: Man, Dawg, couldn't they get us another channel?
Boromir: Apparently not. *mutters non- G- rated things under breath*
***
HARPER: Aww! I wanna help the little children too! *holds up a High Guard force lance* Look at this baby. PERFECT for taking- over- the- world stuff.
ME: Hey, isn't that Dylan's?
HARPER, turning red: Uh, yeah. How did that get there? Heh heh. . . how about we see the next kid now?
ME: Good idea.
SCENE cuts to a boy, about ten, playing with a soccer ball in the desert.
Me: Anwar lives in Egypt. He doesn't really want to take over the world; he's just a prop for our- hey, who wrote this script? Ack. . . pay no attention to that last line. . . someone shall be fired soon. . . Anyway, Anwar DOES indeed want to conquer the world, and he needs your help. In the past few cases, you wonderful viewers have donated most unselfishly to various children- please continue the good work. Don't stop with Eduardo. More little children need to be involved in the race to capture the world- or else, how will the best one win? Please, for the sake of the smartest, most capable child, give!
HARPER: All right. Are we done yet?
ME: Almost. Why?
HARPER: Because there's a little kid over there pitching fries at me. And I wanna get a Happy Meal! I hear they're giving out Lilo & Stitch toys now!
ME, under breath: Why must my co- hosts always either screw up or be totally immature. . . *in normal voice* OK, Shamus. Go get your Happy Meal.
HARPER: Woo hoo! *runs off into the restaurant*
ME: And that wraps up another edition of The World Domination Fund. Remember, the phone workers are always ready to take your call, even when eating McNuggets with sticky sauce. Thank you.
CAMERA CUTS TO commercials.
~ A/N: To fully understand this, you have to watch Andromeda- if it's not on where you are, or you just don't want to, look it up on the web. And Mr. Sark (the first chapt.) is from a show called Alias- it's on ABC, watch it, it's great. Also, check out the quizzes on my homepage; even though they're not REALLY plot related, they'll give you a basic idea of a few main characters.
Also, as I have neglected to say this earlier, I own nothing. Not Sark (wouldn't mind that, though ;P), not Boromir (He's not that bad, but I'd probably trade him in for Aragorn), not Count Dracula (not sure I'd want him) and not Harper (darn.). I don't own McDonalds, either. The only things I own are myself and crazy Aunt Nina. Oh, and the things my darling reviewers have given. A big thanks to them- I love you all! Suggestions for co- hosts and plot twists are always welcome. :)
P.S. Sorry for the lack of funniness. Or maybe it's just me, and it IS funny. . . review and tell me! ~
CUTS TO outside a McDonalds. As is with every McDonalds, there are many seagulls and small birds hopping about pecking on fries in the background. A squad of phone people are standing nearby, talking disgruntledly on cell phones, which have 900- number proofing. (A/N: Heh heh) Aunt Nina is nearby, sitting in her car vindictively glaring and eating a Happy Meal. She seems to dislike the little Lilo & Stitch toy they gave her (or is it her niece she's glaring at. . . ).
I, wearing a jacket covered in drywall dust, walk into view of the camera. As always, I am carrying a microphone.
ME: Hello. Due to the fact that our studio is being renovated, this installment of 'The World Domination Fund' comes to you outside a McDonalds. Hey, we tried to rent a space, but the Waldorf wouldn't even talk to us! Even Roach's Delight- I'm sorry, COACH'S Delight- called us a scam. . . But you, dear viewers, know differently! *pauses for breath* Anyway, this week my fictional co- host came all the way from the future to help us- Shamus Harper from Andromeda!
*Harper walks up next to me, eating a Chicken Fajita.*
Harper, with mouth full: Hi. Do you have the money we agreed on?
ME: Shamus, Shamus, this is all for charity. *under breath* How many times do I have to tell you people! Of course!
HARPER: OK! Then we are ready to roll! I gotta tell you, this is a wonderful opportunity to express my views on World Domination.
ME: And what ARE your views on World Domination?
HARPER: Well, Tyr says the strongest and most intelligent people will win. Of course, it's really the ones with the biggest weapons and the coolest ships.
*I am about to speak when the same random assistant as last time comes up and hands me another piece of paper, which I again read*
ME: Excellent news! Eduardo has now taken over Puerto Rico and will give a speech from the capital in a few minutes. Also, the 35 cents from Elenea plus the evil horse Blessing (which is a contradiction) from Sqwonk are awaiting governmental clearance to enter China. We tried to keep the donated Lestat, but he was rescued by bodyguards Anne Rice assigned him to keep him safe from crazy fanfic authors & little kids. Oh, and Olga's getting an insane nuclear- weapons- smuggling hamster, again from Sqwonk, and a gold crucifix (which will be sold to a museum for BIG money) from Ruthven & Draculena. Whew, we had a lot of donations. *looks directly into camera* See, Boromir! They DO want to help the little children! HA!
***
Boromir, from his cell in Sing Sing, where he went for destruction of property: Meh. Yo, Bubba, pass me the chips.
Bubba, handing bowl of chips to Boromir: Man, Dawg, couldn't they get us another channel?
Boromir: Apparently not. *mutters non- G- rated things under breath*
***
HARPER: Aww! I wanna help the little children too! *holds up a High Guard force lance* Look at this baby. PERFECT for taking- over- the- world stuff.
ME: Hey, isn't that Dylan's?
HARPER, turning red: Uh, yeah. How did that get there? Heh heh. . . how about we see the next kid now?
ME: Good idea.
SCENE cuts to a boy, about ten, playing with a soccer ball in the desert.
Me: Anwar lives in Egypt. He doesn't really want to take over the world; he's just a prop for our- hey, who wrote this script? Ack. . . pay no attention to that last line. . . someone shall be fired soon. . . Anyway, Anwar DOES indeed want to conquer the world, and he needs your help. In the past few cases, you wonderful viewers have donated most unselfishly to various children- please continue the good work. Don't stop with Eduardo. More little children need to be involved in the race to capture the world- or else, how will the best one win? Please, for the sake of the smartest, most capable child, give!
HARPER: All right. Are we done yet?
ME: Almost. Why?
HARPER: Because there's a little kid over there pitching fries at me. And I wanna get a Happy Meal! I hear they're giving out Lilo & Stitch toys now!
ME, under breath: Why must my co- hosts always either screw up or be totally immature. . . *in normal voice* OK, Shamus. Go get your Happy Meal.
HARPER: Woo hoo! *runs off into the restaurant*
ME: And that wraps up another edition of The World Domination Fund. Remember, the phone workers are always ready to take your call, even when eating McNuggets with sticky sauce. Thank you.
CAMERA CUTS TO commercials.
~ A/N: To fully understand this, you have to watch Andromeda- if it's not on where you are, or you just don't want to, look it up on the web. And Mr. Sark (the first chapt.) is from a show called Alias- it's on ABC, watch it, it's great. Also, check out the quizzes on my homepage; even though they're not REALLY plot related, they'll give you a basic idea of a few main characters.
Also, as I have neglected to say this earlier, I own nothing. Not Sark (wouldn't mind that, though ;P), not Boromir (He's not that bad, but I'd probably trade him in for Aragorn), not Count Dracula (not sure I'd want him) and not Harper (darn.). I don't own McDonalds, either. The only things I own are myself and crazy Aunt Nina. Oh, and the things my darling reviewers have given. A big thanks to them- I love you all! Suggestions for co- hosts and plot twists are always welcome. :)
P.S. Sorry for the lack of funniness. Or maybe it's just me, and it IS funny. . . review and tell me! ~