Does Everyone Stare

It takes every ounce of strength he can muster to stand inside that door knowing what Buffy is facing outside. Worse than any demon or monster, she is confronting the unmitigated wrath of a friend alone. Spike wants nothing more than to go out there, shake Xander until he understood, and then wrap Buffy up in himself and take her away somewhere quiet and peaceful.

If he notices the SITs all, one by one, distracted from their activities by his presence and his state, he doesn't acknowledge it. He ignores the whispers and the giggling.

Kennedy clears her throat and the girls all look at her. She mouths the words "STOP STARING" and embarrassment leads them all to half-heartedly resume whatever it was that they were doing. Kennedy, of course, continues to stare, as does Willow who has just come into the room.

"What's up?" she whispers into the brunette's silky hair. She plants a quick kiss on her cheek before she crosses behind her and rests her hands on the counter.

"Dunno." Kennedy quickly and quietly replied, her eyes never leaving the vampire. Spike is staring at the ceiling, mumbling something to himself. "Maybe he's gone all wacko again."

Willow starts to chuckle at Kennedy's comment, but there is something about the way Spike is behaving that perplexes her. He seems preoccupied with whatever is on the other side of the door. He turns to face it, his hand toying briefly with the knob, and then he stops and curses under his breath, banging his head on the wall with a loud thump. She witnesses this vignette several times.

All of the other eyes in the room are trying not to look at him openly, but their all aware of his every movement, their natural slayer instincts kicking-in...well, instinctively. Willow, continuing her observation of the blonde, gives Kennedy's hand a quick squeeze and then moves around the other side of the counter to the window. She parts the curtain slightly and peers outside. She sees two figures on the steps: Buffy and Xander. Willow moves closer to Spike, her confusion and curiosity growing proportionally.

"H-Hey, Spikey" she tries to sound nonchalant, it comes out perky. "How's it, uh, hangin'?"

Spike rolls his head toward her. She sees a mixture of anger, desperation, and fear and (...love?) in his eyes. She's never noticed before that they were blue.

"Hey Red." His voice is like gravel. Spike pulls himself up and stands facing the door once again, looking at it as if it were made of shit. "Their having a talk," he says, gesturing through the door to the figures on the steps that he can't see, but that he could feel.

He feels Buffy's heart rate rise and fall like the tides. He smells the sweat that must be shining on Xander's upper lip as he listens to Buffy's explanation. What he can't hear is what she is saying. There is too much bloody noise in the kitchen: chattering girls and clanging dishes. He wants to scream.

And Red's standing here, looking so concerned. He suddenly feels a little ashamed at having been so short in his words. He smiles thinly and watches the relief unfurl her knit eyebrows.

"Is it serious?" she asks innocently. He wants to laugh out loud, but an alternate meaning to her question shapes itself in his mind. Is it...serious.

"I dunno," he answers after a moment. "I hope so." He smiles at her. Willow's brows are newly woven and she decides to give up on deciphering the riddles. She walks back over to Kennedy and sits on a stool determined to wait for less cryptic answers from Buffy and Xander. Spike resumes his silent loathing for the door standing between finally knowing and not knowing.

Go upstairs, babe. I'll meet you there shortly. Alright, pet.

Spike wonders if he'd just imagined that little exchange. Buffy calling him 'babe'? Perhaps he'd imagined their whole conversation outside. He reaches up and brushes the tips of his fingers down the door, letting out a sigh.

He turns to walk out of the kitchen, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, but he feels compelled to look at Willow. Not to his surprise, she's staring right at him. Her countenance is, in a word, disconcerting. He quickly exits and heads to Buffy's room. He can feel Willow's eyes on his back as he mounts the stairs. Her voice stops him.

"What's happening here, Spike?" she says, loud enough for him to hear, but not for anyone else to pick up. He squeezes the railing and then turns to look her in the eye, slightly afraid of what he'll find there.

"I told you," he tries to sound completely calm, "they're talking."

"About what?" She's not letting this go. Something has Spike bristling. She can feel the storm inside of him and she can hear...she can hear...

"Buffy," Spike says as the Slayer approaches behind Willow. He fails to mask the relief in his voice or in his body language. Willow turns to her friend and immediately notices the redness of her eyes.

"Oh hey, Buff –"  perhaps light and friendly is the way. "What's shakin?" What's shakin? What's hangin? I sound as if I'm channeling Disco Stu.

"Will." Buffy manages a smile before she allows herself to look at Spike. Willow knows that look. She'd seen it before. When Angel was around, but before things went south. Spike turns and continues up the steps and out of sight. Buffy then refocuses on Willow.

"I think Xander may need someone right now," she says with a twinge of something...guilt perhaps...in her voice.

"Uh, ok. Buffy –" Willow is going to get to the bottom of this one way...or another. "What's going on? You're all weepy – don't think I didn't notice – Spike's mopey and, well, downright weirding everyone out. You and Xander have some sorta fight? 'Cause you know he loves ya and-"

"I know he does," Buffy interrupts. "I know a-and he wants what's best for me, for everyone. The problem is, Will" she continued, leaning on the wall, suddenly fatigued. "He doesn't know what's best...not even for himself.

Willow gets the full meaning behind Buffy's words. No holding back there. Xander's never been a cheerleader in the Spike camp, nor was he Angel's for that matter.

"Oh." is all Willow can muster.

"Yeah, oh." Buffy agrees. "Lots of 'Oh' to go around." Willow sits on the step, eye level with Buffy, waiting for more. Buffy takes a deep breath.

"Will..." Buffy isn't sure if she is ready for another round of kick-the-Spike-and-Buffy, but Willow deserves an explanation. She's just praying that Giles didn't decide to take the Concorde and is about to walk through the door just as she's finishing up. That would really be...

"I'm listening, Buff." Willow says to rouse her friend back to the present. She gives her a reassuring smile and takes her hand.

"Thanks," Buffy finally smiles and exhales.

TBC