Metal Gear Solid: Snake espionages in Asda Wal-Mart's?!
Hello welcome to Chapter 1 of this insane Metal Gear Solid based story. This is my first Metal Gear Solid based story so please don't go all harsh on me when it comes to reviewing. Please read and enjoy this extreme sense of randomness.
Solid Snake, The man who makes the impossible possible could be seen tearing his apartment down in a frenzy in search for some food. However he had no such luck....so he decided to call the Colonel for some advice on what to do, contacting him via codec.
*Snake* Colonel, this is Snake....I am in my apartment.
*Colonel* I see....what's the situation there Snake?
*Snake* My apartment lacks vital nutrients preventing me from my daily consumption.
*Colonel* Just as I suspected...Snake..your mission objective is to go to Asda Wal-Marts and get yourself some food.
*Snake* I understand...any means on transportation?
*Colonel* Hmmmmm...yes, Snake look outside your apartment window and tell me what you see.
Snake looks out of his apartment window and catches a glimpse of Raiden running around in a nappy in insane circles saying "I'M A BIG KID NOW!"
*Snake* Don't tell me Barbie Blondie Bombshell is my means of transportation colonel!
*Colonel* No Snake...I was referring to the old combined harvester across the road from you..that is your means of transportation to Wal-Marts. Hotwire the tractor and make your way to your destination.
*Snake* Okay Colonel....I am ready to go.
*Colonel* Good Luck Snake..this is your toughest challenge yet.
Going offline off his codec, Snake quickly dresses in his usual attire which consisted of a bandana, sneaking suit, a socum and binoculars. Walking out of his apartment, he silently sneaks down the stairs and out of the apartment building, approaching the combined harvester however Raiden obstructed his way...for a few seconds before Snake punted him far far away.
*Raiden* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm flying without wings!!!!!!!!!!
*Snake muttering under his breath* Moronic Blond bimbo bombshell bastardised flipping mental knob meddling....oh what the hell....BITCH!
With Snake climbing into the combined harvester and hotwiring it up, he travels at a maximum speed of 5mph destroying and ramming down every person, tree, vehicle and object in sight.
*Snake* Mwahahahaha WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!?!!?!
*Raiden who just pops out of anywhere jumps on Snake and clasps his neck* Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Snake* Ack! No infected human bombshell stay back you fiend!!!!! *Snakes grabs Raiden by his blonde hair and swings him about his head and into a nearby building*
*Raiden once again flying* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Snake resumed with his journey to Wal-Marts listening and singing to "Old Mac Donald has a farm" whilst ramming anything in sight. Finally arriving at his destination point he parks the Combined Harvester on top of 2 and a half cars and places his back against the entrance, contacting the colonel by codec again.
*Snake* Colonel...I have arrived at Asda Wal-Marts...
*Colonel* Excellent Snake.
*Snake* So now what do I do?
*Colonel* Hmmmmm..you're going to have to find a way in but be careful...there are many enemy sentries in there dressed as Asda Wal-Marts personnel.
*Snake* Gotcha....I'll make my way in and contact you once I have surveyed the inside.
Going offline once again, Snake peeks his head around the corner and finds the door entrance, seeing nobody in sight, he quickly sprints towards the door and performs a forward roll dive only to crashes into the glass door with his face pressed against it.
*Snake* Ow!..infiltrating this supermarket will be harder than expected..I wonder who my opponents will be.
Pulling his face away from the door leaving his face mark, Snake stands up and brushes himself off and looks for any means of opening the door, he eventually found the "Hit me and the door will magically open" button which he pressed only to be hit again by the door swinging open towards him.
*Once again Snakes face pressed against the glass door* This is definitely not my day....
Some random Japanese tourists come along and take pictures of Solid Snake squashed against a door and finding him indeed a tourist specimen and then randomly disappear.
Managing to slip through the doorway, Snake finally enters Asda Wal-Marts. Heading over to the café he hides behind a vending machine and peers over his shoulder to see no other than Solidus Snake in a white chef's costume and the hat doing various different tasks with his hands and his tentacles.
Snake rubs his eyes disbelieving what he is seeing before rolling on the floor laughing his ass off. This however caught Solidus attention. Giving Snake a death stare, he confronted his brother for a little one on one match.
*Solidus Snake* So you ready to be sliced into Snake meat?! *Solidus scrapes the two blades in his hands he had been cutting meat with together whilst giving Snake a wicked grin*
Snake in the meantime who had just regained his composure, went back to his serious state of mind and replied "Bring it on"
As if Solidus had just gone hyper, he started to perform a lot of pointless blade making moves on the spot to show off his skill. 20 minutes later Solidus is still showing off on the spot and Snake in the meantime had a cigarette, read a magazine and chatted up some Asian women. Looking over to Solidus, Snake just shook his head and advanced towards Solidus and plunged his hand into Solidus's armour and pried out his heart all Bruce Lee style with the scream.
*Snake* WWHHOOOOOAAA!!!!!
Solidus remained motionless and in shock, whilst he watched the last reminisces of his life of Solid Snake putting his heart in a doggy bag.
*Snake* Thanks bro for the breakfast...it will do nicely with bread.
*Solidus falls on the floor splurting out blood but is still amazingly alive* Hah! I don't die that easily....in fact I refuse to give in! and.....
Before Solidus could finish off his lines, no other than Raiden comes storming in but with a change of clothes in what looked like a pink Barbie dress, seeing Solidus on the floor literally half dead brought tears to his eyes, he ran towards his father and knelt down beside him literally suffocating him via strangulation from hugging him on the neck "Daddy!!!!!! Why God why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Solidus after seeing Raiden* .....Actually I think I will die now *Solidus head instantly falls backwards and he remains motionless*
*Raiden* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! *Snake with some popcorn whilst munching on it and wiping away a fake tear* Oh...so emotional!!!!!
*Raiden who slowly stands up with now red glowing eyes faces Snake* You....shall die!!!!!!!!
*Snake perking a brow* Oh really....whatcha going to do throw your hairbrush at me?
*Raiden*.....How did you know?
*Snake* BECAUSE I AM GOD!
*Raiden at this point went down to his knees and started grovelling at Snakes feet* You are my guide and light into the world! Save me from all the sins in the world!
*Snake* Riggghhhhhtttt....*Snake pries his foot away and heads over to the bakery section of the supermarket. Upon approaching it no other than Psycho Mantis dressed in Bakery clothes, uses his tele kinesis to throw various loaves of bread in Snakes direction.
What is Snake going to do?! Will he survive the impact? Find out in Chapter 2
To be continued.
Hello welcome to Chapter 1 of this insane Metal Gear Solid based story. This is my first Metal Gear Solid based story so please don't go all harsh on me when it comes to reviewing. Please read and enjoy this extreme sense of randomness.
Solid Snake, The man who makes the impossible possible could be seen tearing his apartment down in a frenzy in search for some food. However he had no such luck....so he decided to call the Colonel for some advice on what to do, contacting him via codec.
*Snake* Colonel, this is Snake....I am in my apartment.
*Colonel* I see....what's the situation there Snake?
*Snake* My apartment lacks vital nutrients preventing me from my daily consumption.
*Colonel* Just as I suspected...Snake..your mission objective is to go to Asda Wal-Marts and get yourself some food.
*Snake* I understand...any means on transportation?
*Colonel* Hmmmmm...yes, Snake look outside your apartment window and tell me what you see.
Snake looks out of his apartment window and catches a glimpse of Raiden running around in a nappy in insane circles saying "I'M A BIG KID NOW!"
*Snake* Don't tell me Barbie Blondie Bombshell is my means of transportation colonel!
*Colonel* No Snake...I was referring to the old combined harvester across the road from you..that is your means of transportation to Wal-Marts. Hotwire the tractor and make your way to your destination.
*Snake* Okay Colonel....I am ready to go.
*Colonel* Good Luck Snake..this is your toughest challenge yet.
Going offline off his codec, Snake quickly dresses in his usual attire which consisted of a bandana, sneaking suit, a socum and binoculars. Walking out of his apartment, he silently sneaks down the stairs and out of the apartment building, approaching the combined harvester however Raiden obstructed his way...for a few seconds before Snake punted him far far away.
*Raiden* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm flying without wings!!!!!!!!!!
*Snake muttering under his breath* Moronic Blond bimbo bombshell bastardised flipping mental knob meddling....oh what the hell....BITCH!
With Snake climbing into the combined harvester and hotwiring it up, he travels at a maximum speed of 5mph destroying and ramming down every person, tree, vehicle and object in sight.
*Snake* Mwahahahaha WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!?!!?!
*Raiden who just pops out of anywhere jumps on Snake and clasps his neck* Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Snake* Ack! No infected human bombshell stay back you fiend!!!!! *Snakes grabs Raiden by his blonde hair and swings him about his head and into a nearby building*
*Raiden once again flying* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Snake resumed with his journey to Wal-Marts listening and singing to "Old Mac Donald has a farm" whilst ramming anything in sight. Finally arriving at his destination point he parks the Combined Harvester on top of 2 and a half cars and places his back against the entrance, contacting the colonel by codec again.
*Snake* Colonel...I have arrived at Asda Wal-Marts...
*Colonel* Excellent Snake.
*Snake* So now what do I do?
*Colonel* Hmmmmm..you're going to have to find a way in but be careful...there are many enemy sentries in there dressed as Asda Wal-Marts personnel.
*Snake* Gotcha....I'll make my way in and contact you once I have surveyed the inside.
Going offline once again, Snake peeks his head around the corner and finds the door entrance, seeing nobody in sight, he quickly sprints towards the door and performs a forward roll dive only to crashes into the glass door with his face pressed against it.
*Snake* Ow!..infiltrating this supermarket will be harder than expected..I wonder who my opponents will be.
Pulling his face away from the door leaving his face mark, Snake stands up and brushes himself off and looks for any means of opening the door, he eventually found the "Hit me and the door will magically open" button which he pressed only to be hit again by the door swinging open towards him.
*Once again Snakes face pressed against the glass door* This is definitely not my day....
Some random Japanese tourists come along and take pictures of Solid Snake squashed against a door and finding him indeed a tourist specimen and then randomly disappear.
Managing to slip through the doorway, Snake finally enters Asda Wal-Marts. Heading over to the café he hides behind a vending machine and peers over his shoulder to see no other than Solidus Snake in a white chef's costume and the hat doing various different tasks with his hands and his tentacles.
Snake rubs his eyes disbelieving what he is seeing before rolling on the floor laughing his ass off. This however caught Solidus attention. Giving Snake a death stare, he confronted his brother for a little one on one match.
*Solidus Snake* So you ready to be sliced into Snake meat?! *Solidus scrapes the two blades in his hands he had been cutting meat with together whilst giving Snake a wicked grin*
Snake in the meantime who had just regained his composure, went back to his serious state of mind and replied "Bring it on"
As if Solidus had just gone hyper, he started to perform a lot of pointless blade making moves on the spot to show off his skill. 20 minutes later Solidus is still showing off on the spot and Snake in the meantime had a cigarette, read a magazine and chatted up some Asian women. Looking over to Solidus, Snake just shook his head and advanced towards Solidus and plunged his hand into Solidus's armour and pried out his heart all Bruce Lee style with the scream.
*Snake* WWHHOOOOOAAA!!!!!
Solidus remained motionless and in shock, whilst he watched the last reminisces of his life of Solid Snake putting his heart in a doggy bag.
*Snake* Thanks bro for the breakfast...it will do nicely with bread.
*Solidus falls on the floor splurting out blood but is still amazingly alive* Hah! I don't die that easily....in fact I refuse to give in! and.....
Before Solidus could finish off his lines, no other than Raiden comes storming in but with a change of clothes in what looked like a pink Barbie dress, seeing Solidus on the floor literally half dead brought tears to his eyes, he ran towards his father and knelt down beside him literally suffocating him via strangulation from hugging him on the neck "Daddy!!!!!! Why God why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*Solidus after seeing Raiden* .....Actually I think I will die now *Solidus head instantly falls backwards and he remains motionless*
*Raiden* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! *Snake with some popcorn whilst munching on it and wiping away a fake tear* Oh...so emotional!!!!!
*Raiden who slowly stands up with now red glowing eyes faces Snake* You....shall die!!!!!!!!
*Snake perking a brow* Oh really....whatcha going to do throw your hairbrush at me?
*Raiden*.....How did you know?
*Snake* BECAUSE I AM GOD!
*Raiden at this point went down to his knees and started grovelling at Snakes feet* You are my guide and light into the world! Save me from all the sins in the world!
*Snake* Riggghhhhhtttt....*Snake pries his foot away and heads over to the bakery section of the supermarket. Upon approaching it no other than Psycho Mantis dressed in Bakery clothes, uses his tele kinesis to throw various loaves of bread in Snakes direction.
What is Snake going to do?! Will he survive the impact? Find out in Chapter 2
To be continued.