~~
(Jigen and Goemon *Lupiin III* run onstage with soap and an armadillo.)
Jigen: Hey Goemon? Do you want your sword clean and shiny?
Goemon (badly acting): Why yes, Jigen. I do. But how can I possibly clean THIS?
(Goemon pulls out a sword covered in blood stains and scratches.)
Jigen: That's simple...(pulls out a large bottle with Lupiin's face on the cover) ...with THIS Lupiin Brand Sword Cleaning, er, Stuff!
Goemon: (puts hand to cheek) Gasp! You have GOT to be- ....... uhhh....*squints eyes* Pulling my, er, CHAIN, Jigen!
Jigen: .........*clears throat* No, Goemon, I kid you not! This here-
Goemon: You're kidding?
Jigen: Gah, NO I'm not kidding, Goemon! *whisper*- Stick to the lines, damn it!!
Goemon: *whisper* - But, reading the first lines, I'd think that you'd say "I'm not pulling your chain." But instead you tell me that you're not kidding. What if you confuse the audience?
Jigen: (no more whispering) IT'S THE SAME THING, YOU MORON!
Goemon: WELL WHAT IF NOT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT?!
Jigen: THEN-
???: SHUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!
Jigen + Goemon: Hmm?
(The two look to the back of the audience where Lupiin is holding cue cards, and pointing at them with annoyance.)
Lupiin: Just read the cards you guys!
Jigen: Tell that to HIM...
Goemon: Fine, fine...
Jigen: *clears throat* This liquid is filled with bacteria killing chemicals, and leaves a clear, bright shine on whatever it touches!
Goemon: Hmm...so you are saying that we should try it on my sword?
(A snicker is heard from the audience.)
Videad: *thinking* - Blasted teenage hormones...
Jigen: Uhhh....-*trying to ignore* Try it yourself, Goemon!
Goemon: Wait, do you mean pour it on me or- (Lupiin signals him to cut if off.) Okay.
(Goemon pours the liquid on his sword, *damn hormones!* and acts amazed.)
Goemon: Oh my goodness! My sword! It is shiny, and clean!
Jigen: And that's not all! Now it's sharper and more slick!
(Annoying laughter is heard from the audience.)
Videad: MYAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!! -crying with laughter* Damn my hormones!!! (continues to laugh)
Goemon + Jigen: ................................
Goemon: Er, do you know where I can get more of this?
Jigen: Why you can find Lupiin's Sword Shiner-
Videad: DAMN IT!!!!
Jigen: -at every Big Ass Chibi-Mart, Large Butt Mini-Store, and Wal-Mart. Get some for YOUR sword today!
Goemon + Jigen: .....................
Lupiin: Pssh...guys! (starts pointing to lip corners) Smile!
Goemon + Jigen: Oh! (They smile huge smiles.)
(Lupiin presses the play button on a tape player.)
Lupiin Girls: *singing* Lupiin's Sword Shiner! Hot, sexy, Sword Shiner! Makes whatever matters shiny and slick! Lupiin's Swoooooord.....Shiner!!
(Clapper maching plays.)
Videad: Can't.....breathe....too....much.....innuendo....in one.....sitting....
Jigen: *still grinning* My jaw hurts...
Goemon: I think my cheeks are stuck...and what were we going to do with that armadillo again?
(The armadillo is sitting in the audience eating popcorn and playing on a Game Boy.)
~~
(Jigen and Goemon *Lupiin III* run onstage with soap and an armadillo.)
Jigen: Hey Goemon? Do you want your sword clean and shiny?
Goemon (badly acting): Why yes, Jigen. I do. But how can I possibly clean THIS?
(Goemon pulls out a sword covered in blood stains and scratches.)
Jigen: That's simple...(pulls out a large bottle with Lupiin's face on the cover) ...with THIS Lupiin Brand Sword Cleaning, er, Stuff!
Goemon: (puts hand to cheek) Gasp! You have GOT to be- ....... uhhh....*squints eyes* Pulling my, er, CHAIN, Jigen!
Jigen: .........*clears throat* No, Goemon, I kid you not! This here-
Goemon: You're kidding?
Jigen: Gah, NO I'm not kidding, Goemon! *whisper*- Stick to the lines, damn it!!
Goemon: *whisper* - But, reading the first lines, I'd think that you'd say "I'm not pulling your chain." But instead you tell me that you're not kidding. What if you confuse the audience?
Jigen: (no more whispering) IT'S THE SAME THING, YOU MORON!
Goemon: WELL WHAT IF NOT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT?!
Jigen: THEN-
???: SHUUUUUUUUUUSH!!!
Jigen + Goemon: Hmm?
(The two look to the back of the audience where Lupiin is holding cue cards, and pointing at them with annoyance.)
Lupiin: Just read the cards you guys!
Jigen: Tell that to HIM...
Goemon: Fine, fine...
Jigen: *clears throat* This liquid is filled with bacteria killing chemicals, and leaves a clear, bright shine on whatever it touches!
Goemon: Hmm...so you are saying that we should try it on my sword?
(A snicker is heard from the audience.)
Videad: *thinking* - Blasted teenage hormones...
Jigen: Uhhh....-*trying to ignore* Try it yourself, Goemon!
Goemon: Wait, do you mean pour it on me or- (Lupiin signals him to cut if off.) Okay.
(Goemon pours the liquid on his sword, *damn hormones!* and acts amazed.)
Goemon: Oh my goodness! My sword! It is shiny, and clean!
Jigen: And that's not all! Now it's sharper and more slick!
(Annoying laughter is heard from the audience.)
Videad: MYAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!! -crying with laughter* Damn my hormones!!! (continues to laugh)
Goemon + Jigen: ................................
Goemon: Er, do you know where I can get more of this?
Jigen: Why you can find Lupiin's Sword Shiner-
Videad: DAMN IT!!!!
Jigen: -at every Big Ass Chibi-Mart, Large Butt Mini-Store, and Wal-Mart. Get some for YOUR sword today!
Goemon + Jigen: .....................
Lupiin: Pssh...guys! (starts pointing to lip corners) Smile!
Goemon + Jigen: Oh! (They smile huge smiles.)
(Lupiin presses the play button on a tape player.)
Lupiin Girls: *singing* Lupiin's Sword Shiner! Hot, sexy, Sword Shiner! Makes whatever matters shiny and slick! Lupiin's Swoooooord.....Shiner!!
(Clapper maching plays.)
Videad: Can't.....breathe....too....much.....innuendo....in one.....sitting....
Jigen: *still grinning* My jaw hurts...
Goemon: I think my cheeks are stuck...and what were we going to do with that armadillo again?
(The armadillo is sitting in the audience eating popcorn and playing on a Game Boy.)
~~