DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the View Askew Characters. (What? You were
expecting something more elaborate? Fuck off)
(The convenience store. DANTE stands behind the counter. RANDAL takes a candy bar off the shelf and starts eating it)
DANTE: You're going to pay for that, right?
RANDAL: Why bother? We're all gonna die anyway, what do you care if I don't pay for this?
DANTE: Well, if the world doesn't end tomorrow I'd like to have the books balanced.
RANDAL: Who says there's gonna be a tomorrow? For all we know we could be killed right now. Right now, my friend. After all, we are at war.
DANTE: And you think Iraq is going to attack New Jersey?
RANDAL: Why shouldn't they? It's a prime piece of the United States or America.
DANTE: Out of all the places there are in America to attack, they're going to attack New Jersey? Before they go after the Washington Memorial? The Sears Tower? Hell, Disneyland is even higher up on the terrorists' hit list than New Jersey.
RANDAL: You see, you've fallen for their trap.
DANTE: Have I?
RANDAL: Of course. Think about it, do you really think they're going to attack something that everyone has their eye on? Someplace the government is watching closely? Fuck no. They're going to go for a surprise attack. And what would be a bigger surprise than attacking New Jersey?
DANTE: Fascinating. And how do you know this? You a terrorist?
RANDAL: Maybe.
DANTE: Yeah, right.
RANDAL: Hey, it's a possibility. Anyone could be a terrorist. Me, you, Veronica.
DANTE: Veronica? Why would Veronica be a terrorist?
RANDAL: To get back at you.
DANTE: I think you're taking this a little too seriously.
RANDAL: This is war, Dante, you can't be too careful. As far as I'm concerned, everyone could be working for Saddam, just waiting to take America down when I'm least expecting it.
DANTE: Everyone's working for Saddam, huh?
RANDAL: You never know.
DANTE: I'm working for Saddam?
RANDAL: (Thinks) No, not Saddam. I'd guess you're more the Al Qaeda type.
DANTE: Al Qaeda!?
RANDAL: You have a beard. All the Al Qaeda people have beards. I rest my case. See how prepared I am, thanks to Homeland Security tips?
DANTE: You're a fucking imbecile.
RANDAL: So are the Homeland Security people.
DANTE: Very patriotic.
RANDAL: I try.
(The convenience store. DANTE stands behind the counter. RANDAL takes a candy bar off the shelf and starts eating it)
DANTE: You're going to pay for that, right?
RANDAL: Why bother? We're all gonna die anyway, what do you care if I don't pay for this?
DANTE: Well, if the world doesn't end tomorrow I'd like to have the books balanced.
RANDAL: Who says there's gonna be a tomorrow? For all we know we could be killed right now. Right now, my friend. After all, we are at war.
DANTE: And you think Iraq is going to attack New Jersey?
RANDAL: Why shouldn't they? It's a prime piece of the United States or America.
DANTE: Out of all the places there are in America to attack, they're going to attack New Jersey? Before they go after the Washington Memorial? The Sears Tower? Hell, Disneyland is even higher up on the terrorists' hit list than New Jersey.
RANDAL: You see, you've fallen for their trap.
DANTE: Have I?
RANDAL: Of course. Think about it, do you really think they're going to attack something that everyone has their eye on? Someplace the government is watching closely? Fuck no. They're going to go for a surprise attack. And what would be a bigger surprise than attacking New Jersey?
DANTE: Fascinating. And how do you know this? You a terrorist?
RANDAL: Maybe.
DANTE: Yeah, right.
RANDAL: Hey, it's a possibility. Anyone could be a terrorist. Me, you, Veronica.
DANTE: Veronica? Why would Veronica be a terrorist?
RANDAL: To get back at you.
DANTE: I think you're taking this a little too seriously.
RANDAL: This is war, Dante, you can't be too careful. As far as I'm concerned, everyone could be working for Saddam, just waiting to take America down when I'm least expecting it.
DANTE: Everyone's working for Saddam, huh?
RANDAL: You never know.
DANTE: I'm working for Saddam?
RANDAL: (Thinks) No, not Saddam. I'd guess you're more the Al Qaeda type.
DANTE: Al Qaeda!?
RANDAL: You have a beard. All the Al Qaeda people have beards. I rest my case. See how prepared I am, thanks to Homeland Security tips?
DANTE: You're a fucking imbecile.
RANDAL: So are the Homeland Security people.
DANTE: Very patriotic.
RANDAL: I try.