Back in the fortress, Magneto was barely still in his chair after watching
Pietro taunt Scott and the rest of the X-Men. Mystique gave him a sly grin.
"Hmm, how appropriate that Pietro gets stuck as the taunting guard that fends off those idiots all by themselves," she said.
"Even in chaos, there must be some order," Magneto said slyly, and they both broke out laughing again.
After Mystique got a hold of her self, she asked Magneto, "So, what are they going to do now?"
"If Scott is any kind of leader, he'll realize that they'll need to split up to find the Grail. After all, it's a big scary dimension they're stuck in," he said.
"Should be interesting," Mystique said. Suddenly, something on another screen caught her eye.
"Oh, look who's here," she said, looking at Xavier sitting on the front porch. "Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you use your Evil Chaos Inducer © to send him to the Rocky Horror dimension? He'd be perfect for Dr. Scott,"
"Hah!" Magneto chuckled. "Good one. As tempting as that would be, I think we'll wait until another time to do that one. Let's invite him up instead, so he can watch the fun,"
Magneto leaned over and pressed a button on the side of his recliner. Outside the fortress, a giant crane came to life and lowered down above Xavier. The crane's claws opened, grabbed onto the sides of Xavier's wheelchair, and hoisted him up like a prize in an arcade machine. The crane lifted Xavier up and into Magneto's theatre.
"Well, look what we've won!" said Mystique as the crane deposited Xavier in the theatre.
"Magneto!" Xavier shouted. "What have you done with the X-Men?"
"Oh, nothing too bizarre," said Magneto. "They're actually doing quite well so far in their new home,"
"Bring them back, now!"
"Oh, why so soon?" Magneto asked. "They're not in any peril, after all. And it's been so much fun watching them bumble their way through England thinking they're knights. Pull up a chair and watch with us," he invited.
"Do I have a choice?" asked Xavier.
"Not unless you want to wind up wheeling around a floor show in fishnets," Mystique said.
"Fine," said Xavier, and wheeled up to Magneto. "Pass the popcorn, will you?"
"Certainly, Charles. Always glad to share," Magneto said, and handed Xavier the bowl. Xavier took a handful of popcorn and ate it nervously, hoping that Scott and the others would be all right.
X
Defeat at the castle seemed to have utterly disheartened Scott and the rest of the knights. The ferocity of the French taunting took them completely by surprise, and Scott became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Scott, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually.
So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels. The boys, all quintuplets, all looked and sounded exactly like Jamie. As they skipped through the forest, the minstrels sang a merry song. It went like this:
"Bravely bold Sir Robin Rode forth from Camelot! He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin! He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways! Brave, brave, brave, brave, Sir Robin!"
I wonder if they could sing anything a capella, Robin thought as he looked back nervously at the minstrels. This was not quite the heroic song he had hoped to have sung about him. The minstrels continued on.
"He was not the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken! To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!"
I hope that's not the sort of thing that happens to real heroes, Robin thought. Er, real heroes like me, he added in his mind.
"His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off, And his pen."
"That's, that's enough music for now, lads!" Robin called, beginning to feel a little queasy. The forest was starting to take on a creepy look to it. "There's dirty work afoot,"
They rode on, a little more cautiously now, through the darkening forest. As they rode, Robin felt a feeling of dread growing stronger in the pit of his stomach. He started at seeing a scary looking tree, and continued on nervously. On the other side of the tree, a knight was impaled upon a massive lance.
As they passed a sign that said "Certain death, this way," two peasants, a man and a woman, skirted past, arguing amongst themselves.
"Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom!" said the man.
"Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom! We haven't got enough mud!" said the woman.
Robin watched the two peasants vanish into the forest. Suddenly, he heard a trio of voices.
"Halt!" asked the voices. The three voices echoed through the forest as if they were amplified.
Robin turned around and saw the scariest thing he had seen in the last 15 minutes: a giant, three-headed knight stood in the middle of the path, towering above him.
The knight's left head turned to the one in the middle. "Hey, it's Daniels!" said Lance's head.
"How'd he get out here?" asked Fred's head in the middle.
On the right, Toad's head joined in the conversation. "Who cares? I just want to find those druids and get them to change us back. I hate being stuck on your body, Fred!" he complained.
"Hey, blame Lance. He's the one who wanted to follow them," Fred's head said.
"Fred, if I could control my arm, I'd smack you right now!" Lance's head shouted at Fred's.
Robin looked on curiously as the three heads continued to argue back and forth, talking about somebody named Daniels that he had never heard of.
Finally, the argument began to break up. "Hey, let's have some fun with Daniels," said Lance's head. The three heads nodded and turned towards Sir Robin.
"Who art thou?" they asked together, their voices again echoing through the trees.
Robin opened his mouth to speak, but the minstrels began singing again.
"He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, brave,"
"Shut up!" Robin shouted at them, and then turned to the knight. "Um, n-n-n- nobody really, I'm j-j-just, um, just passing through," he stammered.
"What do you want?" asked the heads.
"To fight and!" sang the minstrels.
"Shut up!" Robin screamed frantically. "Um, oh! Er, nothing, nothing really. I just, uh, just w-w-wanted to, to p-p-pass pass through, good Sir Knight,"
"I'm afraid not!"
Robin darted his eyes back and forth nervously, and decided on a risky strategy. "Ah. W-well, actually, I, I am a knight of the Round Table," he said, hoping his prestige would impress the knight.
"You're a knight of the Round Table?" asked the knight.
"I am," said Robin, a bit bolder now.
"In that case, I shall have to kill you," said Lance's head.
Oh no!, thought Robin. I'm doomed! Why didn't I listen to mother and become a page boy?!
"Shall I" asked Fred's head.
"Oh, I don't think so," said Toad's head, not wanting take the joke too far, especially when Daniels didn't seem to know who he was.
"Well, what do I think?" asked Fred's head.
"I think kill him," said Lance's head, wanting to get rid of one of their rivals.
"Oh, let's be nice to him," said Toad's head.
"Oh, shut up!" snapped Lance's head.
Robin decided that it was time to leave. "Perhaps I should just,"
"And you!" shouted all three heads at him.
"Quick, get the sword out, I want to cut his head off!" said Lance's head.
"Oh, cut your own head off!" said Toad's head.
"Yes, do us all a favor!" said Fred's head.
"What?" asked Lance's head.
"Yapping on all the time!" Toad's head complained.
"You're lucky, you're not next to him!" said Fred's head.
"What do you mean?" asked Lance's head.
"You snore!" said Fred's head.
"Oh, I don't! Anyway, you've got bad breath!" said Lance's head.
"Well it's only because you don't brush my teeth!" said Fred's head.
"Oh, stop whining and let's go have tea!" Toad's head interrupted.
"Oh, all right, all right," said Lance's head. "We'll kill him first, and then have tea and biscuits,"
"Yes," said Fred's head.
"Oh, not biscuits," said Toad's head.
"All right, all right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway!" said Lance's head.
"Right!" said all three heads, finally agreeing, and turned back to Robin. But Robin was nowhere to be seen.
"He's buggered off!" said Fred's head.
"So he has, he's scampered!" said Toad's head.
X
Robin was skipping away from danger as fast as his horse could carry him. Behind him, his minstrels broke into song to sing about his latest escapade.
"Brave Sir Robin ran away!"
"I didn't" he said.
"Bravely ran away, away!"
"I never!"
"When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled, Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and gallantly he chickened out,"
"No!"
"Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat, bravest of the brave, brave Sir Robin!"
"All lies!"
X
Before the Brotherhood could chase after Robin, the vortex appeared over their heads once more and sucked them in. When the mutants emerged, they were back in the boarding house, and all three had their bodies back.
"Man, I'm glad that's over with!" Toad said.
"Fred, no offense but I am never sleeping in the same room with you again," said Lance, and walked out of the room.
Just then, Wanda walked in, her hair and clothes burnt to a crisp.
"Wanda!" Toad shouted in alarm. "What happened to you?"
Wanda collapsed into the nearest chair. "I am going to kill Jean Grey, if it's the last thing I do!" she wheezed.
X
Next time: Kurt finds out what 'chaste' really means. (assuming this scene doesn't get cut)
"Hmm, how appropriate that Pietro gets stuck as the taunting guard that fends off those idiots all by themselves," she said.
"Even in chaos, there must be some order," Magneto said slyly, and they both broke out laughing again.
After Mystique got a hold of her self, she asked Magneto, "So, what are they going to do now?"
"If Scott is any kind of leader, he'll realize that they'll need to split up to find the Grail. After all, it's a big scary dimension they're stuck in," he said.
"Should be interesting," Mystique said. Suddenly, something on another screen caught her eye.
"Oh, look who's here," she said, looking at Xavier sitting on the front porch. "Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you use your Evil Chaos Inducer © to send him to the Rocky Horror dimension? He'd be perfect for Dr. Scott,"
"Hah!" Magneto chuckled. "Good one. As tempting as that would be, I think we'll wait until another time to do that one. Let's invite him up instead, so he can watch the fun,"
Magneto leaned over and pressed a button on the side of his recliner. Outside the fortress, a giant crane came to life and lowered down above Xavier. The crane's claws opened, grabbed onto the sides of Xavier's wheelchair, and hoisted him up like a prize in an arcade machine. The crane lifted Xavier up and into Magneto's theatre.
"Well, look what we've won!" said Mystique as the crane deposited Xavier in the theatre.
"Magneto!" Xavier shouted. "What have you done with the X-Men?"
"Oh, nothing too bizarre," said Magneto. "They're actually doing quite well so far in their new home,"
"Bring them back, now!"
"Oh, why so soon?" Magneto asked. "They're not in any peril, after all. And it's been so much fun watching them bumble their way through England thinking they're knights. Pull up a chair and watch with us," he invited.
"Do I have a choice?" asked Xavier.
"Not unless you want to wind up wheeling around a floor show in fishnets," Mystique said.
"Fine," said Xavier, and wheeled up to Magneto. "Pass the popcorn, will you?"
"Certainly, Charles. Always glad to share," Magneto said, and handed Xavier the bowl. Xavier took a handful of popcorn and ate it nervously, hoping that Scott and the others would be all right.
X
Defeat at the castle seemed to have utterly disheartened Scott and the rest of the knights. The ferocity of the French taunting took them completely by surprise, and Scott became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Scott, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Grail individually.
So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels. The boys, all quintuplets, all looked and sounded exactly like Jamie. As they skipped through the forest, the minstrels sang a merry song. It went like this:
"Bravely bold Sir Robin Rode forth from Camelot! He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin! He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways! Brave, brave, brave, brave, Sir Robin!"
I wonder if they could sing anything a capella, Robin thought as he looked back nervously at the minstrels. This was not quite the heroic song he had hoped to have sung about him. The minstrels continued on.
"He was not the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken! To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!"
I hope that's not the sort of thing that happens to real heroes, Robin thought. Er, real heroes like me, he added in his mind.
"His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off, And his pen."
"That's, that's enough music for now, lads!" Robin called, beginning to feel a little queasy. The forest was starting to take on a creepy look to it. "There's dirty work afoot,"
They rode on, a little more cautiously now, through the darkening forest. As they rode, Robin felt a feeling of dread growing stronger in the pit of his stomach. He started at seeing a scary looking tree, and continued on nervously. On the other side of the tree, a knight was impaled upon a massive lance.
As they passed a sign that said "Certain death, this way," two peasants, a man and a woman, skirted past, arguing amongst themselves.
"Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom!" said the man.
"Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom! We haven't got enough mud!" said the woman.
Robin watched the two peasants vanish into the forest. Suddenly, he heard a trio of voices.
"Halt!" asked the voices. The three voices echoed through the forest as if they were amplified.
Robin turned around and saw the scariest thing he had seen in the last 15 minutes: a giant, three-headed knight stood in the middle of the path, towering above him.
The knight's left head turned to the one in the middle. "Hey, it's Daniels!" said Lance's head.
"How'd he get out here?" asked Fred's head in the middle.
On the right, Toad's head joined in the conversation. "Who cares? I just want to find those druids and get them to change us back. I hate being stuck on your body, Fred!" he complained.
"Hey, blame Lance. He's the one who wanted to follow them," Fred's head said.
"Fred, if I could control my arm, I'd smack you right now!" Lance's head shouted at Fred's.
Robin looked on curiously as the three heads continued to argue back and forth, talking about somebody named Daniels that he had never heard of.
Finally, the argument began to break up. "Hey, let's have some fun with Daniels," said Lance's head. The three heads nodded and turned towards Sir Robin.
"Who art thou?" they asked together, their voices again echoing through the trees.
Robin opened his mouth to speak, but the minstrels began singing again.
"He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, brave,"
"Shut up!" Robin shouted at them, and then turned to the knight. "Um, n-n-n- nobody really, I'm j-j-just, um, just passing through," he stammered.
"What do you want?" asked the heads.
"To fight and!" sang the minstrels.
"Shut up!" Robin screamed frantically. "Um, oh! Er, nothing, nothing really. I just, uh, just w-w-wanted to, to p-p-pass pass through, good Sir Knight,"
"I'm afraid not!"
Robin darted his eyes back and forth nervously, and decided on a risky strategy. "Ah. W-well, actually, I, I am a knight of the Round Table," he said, hoping his prestige would impress the knight.
"You're a knight of the Round Table?" asked the knight.
"I am," said Robin, a bit bolder now.
"In that case, I shall have to kill you," said Lance's head.
Oh no!, thought Robin. I'm doomed! Why didn't I listen to mother and become a page boy?!
"Shall I" asked Fred's head.
"Oh, I don't think so," said Toad's head, not wanting take the joke too far, especially when Daniels didn't seem to know who he was.
"Well, what do I think?" asked Fred's head.
"I think kill him," said Lance's head, wanting to get rid of one of their rivals.
"Oh, let's be nice to him," said Toad's head.
"Oh, shut up!" snapped Lance's head.
Robin decided that it was time to leave. "Perhaps I should just,"
"And you!" shouted all three heads at him.
"Quick, get the sword out, I want to cut his head off!" said Lance's head.
"Oh, cut your own head off!" said Toad's head.
"Yes, do us all a favor!" said Fred's head.
"What?" asked Lance's head.
"Yapping on all the time!" Toad's head complained.
"You're lucky, you're not next to him!" said Fred's head.
"What do you mean?" asked Lance's head.
"You snore!" said Fred's head.
"Oh, I don't! Anyway, you've got bad breath!" said Lance's head.
"Well it's only because you don't brush my teeth!" said Fred's head.
"Oh, stop whining and let's go have tea!" Toad's head interrupted.
"Oh, all right, all right," said Lance's head. "We'll kill him first, and then have tea and biscuits,"
"Yes," said Fred's head.
"Oh, not biscuits," said Toad's head.
"All right, all right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway!" said Lance's head.
"Right!" said all three heads, finally agreeing, and turned back to Robin. But Robin was nowhere to be seen.
"He's buggered off!" said Fred's head.
"So he has, he's scampered!" said Toad's head.
X
Robin was skipping away from danger as fast as his horse could carry him. Behind him, his minstrels broke into song to sing about his latest escapade.
"Brave Sir Robin ran away!"
"I didn't" he said.
"Bravely ran away, away!"
"I never!"
"When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled, Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and gallantly he chickened out,"
"No!"
"Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat, bravest of the brave, brave Sir Robin!"
"All lies!"
X
Before the Brotherhood could chase after Robin, the vortex appeared over their heads once more and sucked them in. When the mutants emerged, they were back in the boarding house, and all three had their bodies back.
"Man, I'm glad that's over with!" Toad said.
"Fred, no offense but I am never sleeping in the same room with you again," said Lance, and walked out of the room.
Just then, Wanda walked in, her hair and clothes burnt to a crisp.
"Wanda!" Toad shouted in alarm. "What happened to you?"
Wanda collapsed into the nearest chair. "I am going to kill Jean Grey, if it's the last thing I do!" she wheezed.
X
Next time: Kurt finds out what 'chaste' really means. (assuming this scene doesn't get cut)