Many miles away, Kurt struggled through a terrible storm. The wind buffeted
him and the rain drenched his fur, soaking him to the bone. As he ran, he
caught his arm on a thick tree branch. The branch tore through his tunic
and left a cut on his arm.
"Ah!" Kurt shouted in pain, but pressed on. After several more minutes, he saw a strange light in the sky.
"What is that?" he asked. As he looked closer, he saw that the light looked almost like a grail.
"It can't be!" he said, and looked closer. The grail grew brighter and Kurt thought he could hear angels singing in the distance. He felt his resolve grow, and forgetful of Scott's earlier warning, he made his way towards the castle.
After nearly twenty minutes of dodging hail and falling trees, Kurt arrived at the gates of the castle. Shivering, he pounded on the door with all his might.
"Open the door!" he shouted. There was no response.
Come on, let me in! Kurt pleaded in his mind, and banged on the door again. "Open the door! In the name of King Arthur, open the door!"
As if the phrase "King Arthur" were magic words, there was a loud click, and the door unlocked and slowly swung open. Kurt saw three girls in thin, revealing gowns standing in the doorway. "Hello!" they said.
"Kitty?" Kurt exclaimed, as he looked at the girl in the middle.
"No, my name is Zoot," said the girl. "Welcome, good sir knight, to the Castle Anthrax!"
"The Castle Anthrax?" Kurt asked.
Zoot nodded regretfully. "Yes. It's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we shall attend to your every, every need!"
"You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?" asked Kurt.
"The what?" asked Zoot.
"The Grail! It is here," said Kurt.
"Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest a while!" said Zoot. "Midget! Crepper!" she called.
Two girls, who looked very much like Rahne and Jubilee, appeared behind Zoot.
"Yes, O Zoot?" they asked.
"Prepare a bed for our gust," she ordered.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" the girls said gleefully.
"Away, away, varletesses!" Zoot said, shooing them away. She turned back to Kurt. "The beds here are warm and soft, and very, very big,"
"Well, look, I really,"
"What is your name, good sir knight?" Zoot asked.
"Sir Galahad," Kurt said. Zoot leaned forward towards him, her dress shifting to show quite a bit of skin. Kurt looked away nervously. "Er, the Chaste," he added, suddenly remembering his moniker.
"Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot," Zoot said. "Oh, but come!" she said, taking his hand and leading him upstairs.
"Look, please!" Kurt protested as they walked up the staircase. "In God's name, show me the Grail!"
"Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!" Zoot said.
"No, look, I have seen it! It is here, in this,"
"Sir Galahad!" Zoot interrupted him as they arrived at a door at the top of the stairs. "You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality, would you?"
"Well, I, um," Kurt said, unsure if he should continue with where this seemed to be leading.
Zoot opened the door and led Kurt through it. "Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights," she said.
Kurt began to feel himself getting slightly aroused as Zoot led him over to the bed.
"Come, come. You may lie here," Zoot said. Kurt lay down on the bed and Zoot leaned closer to him.
"Oh, but you are wounded!" she exclaimed, seeing the gash in his arm.
"No, no, it's nothing, really," Kurt said.
Zoot wouldn't hear it. "Oh, you must see the doctors immediately! Please, lie down!" She turned around and clapped her hands.
Two girls walked into the room. Their dresses were just as revealing as Zoot's.
"They're doctors?" Kurt asked, eying the copious amounts of skin standing above him.
"Well, they've had basic medical training, yes," said Zoot.
"But,"
"Come, you must try and rest!" said Zoot. "Dr. Piglet, Dr. Winston, practice your art," she said, and stepped back as the other two girls walked over to Kurt's bed. Kurt saw that one of them looked like Tabby, while the second looked quite a bit like Rogue.
"Try and relax," said one of the girls, and began massaging Kurt's shoulders.
"Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?" he asked.
"We must examine you," said the other, beginning to unbuckle his armor.
Kurt settled back and tried to relax as the doctors began rubbing his chest. This isn't so bad, he thought. I guess it wouldn't hurt to relax and rest here for a little while. Suddenly, he felt one of the girls reach between his legs.
"There's nothing wrong with that!" he said, quickly sitting up and moving the girl's hand away from his groin.
"Please, we are doctors," said one of the girls.
"No, this cannot be!" said Kurt, starting to realize what 'chaste' meant. He jumped out of his bed, remembering the promises he and Amanda had made to each other. "I am sworn to chastity!" he said. But oh, I wish I weren't!, he thought to himself.
"Back to your bed at once!" ordered one of the doctors.
"Torment me no longer, I have seen the Grail!" Kurt said, trying to focus on his mission.
"There's no grail here!" said the second doctor.
Kurt ignored them and dashed out of the room. "I have seen it, I have seen it!" he shouted as he dashed through the halls and turned into a large room. "I have seen, oh!" he said, as he realized where he was.
"Hello!" called the several dozen girls staring back at him, all in varying states of undress. They walked up to Kurt and began pawing at him.
"Hello," each girl whispered sultrily in his ear as they passed by.
Kurt felt himself getting very excited at all the half-naked girls milling around him. He wanted so badly to return their gestures, but his vows had prevented him.
Stupid chastity vows!, he cursed under his breath. Then, he saw Zoot again. Only this time, Zoot looked like Amanda instead of Kitty. She was naked from the waist up, and barely dressed from below. The candlelight glinted off her eyes as she walked up to him.
"Amanda! How did you get here?" Kurt gasped, his gaping eyes fixed on her bare breasts. "No, wait, in this universe, you're probably Zoot again, aren't you?"
"No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo," the girl said, ignoring Kurt's gaze.
"Oh. I, I'm sorry, excuse me," Kurt stammered, still fixated on the girl's cleavage. He had no idea how his girlfriend had gotten trapped in this universe, but right now, he didn't much care. After several seconds, he managed to pull his eyes away from Dingo's breasts to remember the real reason he had come here. He started to walk past her, resolving to stop back in after he had found the Grail.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!" Kurt said.
Dingo looked puzzled, and then suddenly gritted her teeth. "Oh no!" she said. "No! Bad, bad Zoot!"
"What, what is it?" Kurt asked.
"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot!" Dingo said. "She has been setting alight our beacon, which I've just remembered is Grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem," she explained.
"It's not the real Grail?" Kurt asked, disappointed.
"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty!" Dingo cried. Then a different, curious sort of look came over her face. "Do you think this scene should have been cut?" she asked aloud, to nobody in particular. "We were worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's much better than some of the other scenes, I think,"
Kurt had no idea who the girl Amanda claimed to be was talking to and he didn't much care. Right now, he was wondering if she would be interesting in renegotiating their vows.
Just then, several people walked into the room, including Dennis and the three-headed knight.
"At least ours was better visually," said Toad's head, before vanishing again.
"Well, at least ours was committed," said Dennis. "It wasn't just a string of stupid jokes,"
"Get on with it!" shouted an old man.
"Yes, get on with it!" said a wizard on the other side of the room.
"Yes, get on with it!" shouted Lancelot and an army of knights from outside.
"Oh, I am enjoying this scene!" Dingo said delightedly, oblivious to all the complaints.
Xavier's head appeared in the middle of the room. "Get on with it!" he said angrily, and then vanished abruptly.
Dingo sighed and resumed her invective against her twin. "Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty person, and must pay the penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting light to the Grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!"
"A spanking! A spanking!" shouted the rest of the girls eagerly.
"You must spank her well," Dingo continued. "And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me,"
"And spank me," said a second girl.
"And me," added a third.
"And me!" said a fourth.
"Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"
"A spanking! A spanking! There's going to be a spanking tonight!"
"Really?" Kurt asked eagerly, as he found himself forgetting about both the Grail and his vows as the bevy of voluptuous women grew more excited around him. For him, this was a dream come true.
"And after the spanking, the oral sex!" Dingo continued.
The girls all gasped, and then broke out into peals of gleeful laughter "The oral sex! The oral sex!" they shouted.
That's it, screw the Grail!, Kurt thought. "Well, I suppose I could stay a bit longer," he said, clasping Dingo's right hand with his own and one of her breasts with the other. He leaned forward and began kissing her heavily.
Just then, Lancelot burst in with several knights behind him.
"Sir Galahad!" Lancelot shouted.
"Oh, hello," Kurt said, his tongue still buried deep in Dingo's mouth. He barely noticed his fellow knight as he began fondling Dingo's breast.
"Quick!"
"What?"
"Quick!" Lancelot shouted louder, and grabbed Kurt by the shoulder and pulled him away from Dingo.
"Why?" Kurt protested, extremely disappointed.
"You are in great peril!"
"No he isn't!" said Dingo.
"Silence, foul temptress!" Lancelot shouted.
"You know, she's got a point," Kurt said.
"Come on, we will cover your escape!" Lancelot said and started to drag Kurt out of the room as the other knights cleared a path.
"Look, I'm fine!" Kurt said, trying to break out of Lancelot's grasp,
"Come on!" said Lancelot, desperately trying to restrain him.
"Sir Galahad!" shouted the girls.
"No!" Kurt protested. "I can tackle this lot single-handed!"
"Yes, let him tackle us single-handed!" said Dingo.
"Yes, let him tackle us single-handed!" cried the girls.
"No, Sir Galahad! Come on!" Lancelot said.
"No, really! Honestly, I can cope! I can handle this lot easily!" Kurt said.
"Oh yes, let him handle us easily!" said Dingo.
"Yes, let him handle us easily!" cried the girls. A few of the more excitable ones began to swarm around Kurt and Lancelot.
Lancelot was insistent. "No! Quick, quick!" he shouted, and pushed the girls away.
"Please, I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and fifty of them!" Kurt cried as Lancelot dragged him out of the room and down the stairs.
"Yes, yes, he will beat us easily!" said Dingo and the other girls, chasing after Kurt and Lancelot. "We haven't a chance! He will beat us easily!"
Lancelot ignored the girls and pulled Kurt outside and slammed the door.
"Oh, shit!" Dingo exclaimed, and grasped for a blanket to cover up with as she walked glumly back upstairs.
X
Back outside, Kurt glared at Lancelot. The storm had stopped, but Kurt's mood was just as foul as Lancelot explained his actions.
"We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril!" he said.
"I don't think I was," Kurt argued.
"Yes you were, you were in terrible peril!"
"Look, let me go back in there and face the peril," Kurt said bravely, and turned back to the castle.
Lancelot grabbed his arm. "No, no, it's too perilous," he said.
"Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can," Kurt said.
"No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!" Lancelot said quickly.
"Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?" Kurt pleaded, annoyed that Lancelot always got to have all the fun and he didn't.
"No. It's unhealthy," Lancelot said and began walking off.
Kurt looked back forlornly at the castle. "I'll bet he's gay," he muttered, and then glumly trudged off after Lancelot.
X
"Ah!" Kurt shouted in pain, but pressed on. After several more minutes, he saw a strange light in the sky.
"What is that?" he asked. As he looked closer, he saw that the light looked almost like a grail.
"It can't be!" he said, and looked closer. The grail grew brighter and Kurt thought he could hear angels singing in the distance. He felt his resolve grow, and forgetful of Scott's earlier warning, he made his way towards the castle.
After nearly twenty minutes of dodging hail and falling trees, Kurt arrived at the gates of the castle. Shivering, he pounded on the door with all his might.
"Open the door!" he shouted. There was no response.
Come on, let me in! Kurt pleaded in his mind, and banged on the door again. "Open the door! In the name of King Arthur, open the door!"
As if the phrase "King Arthur" were magic words, there was a loud click, and the door unlocked and slowly swung open. Kurt saw three girls in thin, revealing gowns standing in the doorway. "Hello!" they said.
"Kitty?" Kurt exclaimed, as he looked at the girl in the middle.
"No, my name is Zoot," said the girl. "Welcome, good sir knight, to the Castle Anthrax!"
"The Castle Anthrax?" Kurt asked.
Zoot nodded regretfully. "Yes. It's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we shall attend to your every, every need!"
"You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?" asked Kurt.
"The what?" asked Zoot.
"The Grail! It is here," said Kurt.
"Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest a while!" said Zoot. "Midget! Crepper!" she called.
Two girls, who looked very much like Rahne and Jubilee, appeared behind Zoot.
"Yes, O Zoot?" they asked.
"Prepare a bed for our gust," she ordered.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" the girls said gleefully.
"Away, away, varletesses!" Zoot said, shooing them away. She turned back to Kurt. "The beds here are warm and soft, and very, very big,"
"Well, look, I really,"
"What is your name, good sir knight?" Zoot asked.
"Sir Galahad," Kurt said. Zoot leaned forward towards him, her dress shifting to show quite a bit of skin. Kurt looked away nervously. "Er, the Chaste," he added, suddenly remembering his moniker.
"Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot," Zoot said. "Oh, but come!" she said, taking his hand and leading him upstairs.
"Look, please!" Kurt protested as they walked up the staircase. "In God's name, show me the Grail!"
"Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!" Zoot said.
"No, look, I have seen it! It is here, in this,"
"Sir Galahad!" Zoot interrupted him as they arrived at a door at the top of the stairs. "You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality, would you?"
"Well, I, um," Kurt said, unsure if he should continue with where this seemed to be leading.
Zoot opened the door and led Kurt through it. "Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights," she said.
Kurt began to feel himself getting slightly aroused as Zoot led him over to the bed.
"Come, come. You may lie here," Zoot said. Kurt lay down on the bed and Zoot leaned closer to him.
"Oh, but you are wounded!" she exclaimed, seeing the gash in his arm.
"No, no, it's nothing, really," Kurt said.
Zoot wouldn't hear it. "Oh, you must see the doctors immediately! Please, lie down!" She turned around and clapped her hands.
Two girls walked into the room. Their dresses were just as revealing as Zoot's.
"They're doctors?" Kurt asked, eying the copious amounts of skin standing above him.
"Well, they've had basic medical training, yes," said Zoot.
"But,"
"Come, you must try and rest!" said Zoot. "Dr. Piglet, Dr. Winston, practice your art," she said, and stepped back as the other two girls walked over to Kurt's bed. Kurt saw that one of them looked like Tabby, while the second looked quite a bit like Rogue.
"Try and relax," said one of the girls, and began massaging Kurt's shoulders.
"Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?" he asked.
"We must examine you," said the other, beginning to unbuckle his armor.
Kurt settled back and tried to relax as the doctors began rubbing his chest. This isn't so bad, he thought. I guess it wouldn't hurt to relax and rest here for a little while. Suddenly, he felt one of the girls reach between his legs.
"There's nothing wrong with that!" he said, quickly sitting up and moving the girl's hand away from his groin.
"Please, we are doctors," said one of the girls.
"No, this cannot be!" said Kurt, starting to realize what 'chaste' meant. He jumped out of his bed, remembering the promises he and Amanda had made to each other. "I am sworn to chastity!" he said. But oh, I wish I weren't!, he thought to himself.
"Back to your bed at once!" ordered one of the doctors.
"Torment me no longer, I have seen the Grail!" Kurt said, trying to focus on his mission.
"There's no grail here!" said the second doctor.
Kurt ignored them and dashed out of the room. "I have seen it, I have seen it!" he shouted as he dashed through the halls and turned into a large room. "I have seen, oh!" he said, as he realized where he was.
"Hello!" called the several dozen girls staring back at him, all in varying states of undress. They walked up to Kurt and began pawing at him.
"Hello," each girl whispered sultrily in his ear as they passed by.
Kurt felt himself getting very excited at all the half-naked girls milling around him. He wanted so badly to return their gestures, but his vows had prevented him.
Stupid chastity vows!, he cursed under his breath. Then, he saw Zoot again. Only this time, Zoot looked like Amanda instead of Kitty. She was naked from the waist up, and barely dressed from below. The candlelight glinted off her eyes as she walked up to him.
"Amanda! How did you get here?" Kurt gasped, his gaping eyes fixed on her bare breasts. "No, wait, in this universe, you're probably Zoot again, aren't you?"
"No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo," the girl said, ignoring Kurt's gaze.
"Oh. I, I'm sorry, excuse me," Kurt stammered, still fixated on the girl's cleavage. He had no idea how his girlfriend had gotten trapped in this universe, but right now, he didn't much care. After several seconds, he managed to pull his eyes away from Dingo's breasts to remember the real reason he had come here. He started to walk past her, resolving to stop back in after he had found the Grail.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!" Kurt said.
Dingo looked puzzled, and then suddenly gritted her teeth. "Oh no!" she said. "No! Bad, bad Zoot!"
"What, what is it?" Kurt asked.
"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot!" Dingo said. "She has been setting alight our beacon, which I've just remembered is Grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem," she explained.
"It's not the real Grail?" Kurt asked, disappointed.
"Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty!" Dingo cried. Then a different, curious sort of look came over her face. "Do you think this scene should have been cut?" she asked aloud, to nobody in particular. "We were worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's much better than some of the other scenes, I think,"
Kurt had no idea who the girl Amanda claimed to be was talking to and he didn't much care. Right now, he was wondering if she would be interesting in renegotiating their vows.
Just then, several people walked into the room, including Dennis and the three-headed knight.
"At least ours was better visually," said Toad's head, before vanishing again.
"Well, at least ours was committed," said Dennis. "It wasn't just a string of stupid jokes,"
"Get on with it!" shouted an old man.
"Yes, get on with it!" said a wizard on the other side of the room.
"Yes, get on with it!" shouted Lancelot and an army of knights from outside.
"Oh, I am enjoying this scene!" Dingo said delightedly, oblivious to all the complaints.
Xavier's head appeared in the middle of the room. "Get on with it!" he said angrily, and then vanished abruptly.
Dingo sighed and resumed her invective against her twin. "Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty person, and must pay the penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting light to the Grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!"
"A spanking! A spanking!" shouted the rest of the girls eagerly.
"You must spank her well," Dingo continued. "And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me,"
"And spank me," said a second girl.
"And me," added a third.
"And me!" said a fourth.
"Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"
"A spanking! A spanking! There's going to be a spanking tonight!"
"Really?" Kurt asked eagerly, as he found himself forgetting about both the Grail and his vows as the bevy of voluptuous women grew more excited around him. For him, this was a dream come true.
"And after the spanking, the oral sex!" Dingo continued.
The girls all gasped, and then broke out into peals of gleeful laughter "The oral sex! The oral sex!" they shouted.
That's it, screw the Grail!, Kurt thought. "Well, I suppose I could stay a bit longer," he said, clasping Dingo's right hand with his own and one of her breasts with the other. He leaned forward and began kissing her heavily.
Just then, Lancelot burst in with several knights behind him.
"Sir Galahad!" Lancelot shouted.
"Oh, hello," Kurt said, his tongue still buried deep in Dingo's mouth. He barely noticed his fellow knight as he began fondling Dingo's breast.
"Quick!"
"What?"
"Quick!" Lancelot shouted louder, and grabbed Kurt by the shoulder and pulled him away from Dingo.
"Why?" Kurt protested, extremely disappointed.
"You are in great peril!"
"No he isn't!" said Dingo.
"Silence, foul temptress!" Lancelot shouted.
"You know, she's got a point," Kurt said.
"Come on, we will cover your escape!" Lancelot said and started to drag Kurt out of the room as the other knights cleared a path.
"Look, I'm fine!" Kurt said, trying to break out of Lancelot's grasp,
"Come on!" said Lancelot, desperately trying to restrain him.
"Sir Galahad!" shouted the girls.
"No!" Kurt protested. "I can tackle this lot single-handed!"
"Yes, let him tackle us single-handed!" said Dingo.
"Yes, let him tackle us single-handed!" cried the girls.
"No, Sir Galahad! Come on!" Lancelot said.
"No, really! Honestly, I can cope! I can handle this lot easily!" Kurt said.
"Oh yes, let him handle us easily!" said Dingo.
"Yes, let him handle us easily!" cried the girls. A few of the more excitable ones began to swarm around Kurt and Lancelot.
Lancelot was insistent. "No! Quick, quick!" he shouted, and pushed the girls away.
"Please, I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and fifty of them!" Kurt cried as Lancelot dragged him out of the room and down the stairs.
"Yes, yes, he will beat us easily!" said Dingo and the other girls, chasing after Kurt and Lancelot. "We haven't a chance! He will beat us easily!"
Lancelot ignored the girls and pulled Kurt outside and slammed the door.
"Oh, shit!" Dingo exclaimed, and grasped for a blanket to cover up with as she walked glumly back upstairs.
X
Back outside, Kurt glared at Lancelot. The storm had stopped, but Kurt's mood was just as foul as Lancelot explained his actions.
"We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril!" he said.
"I don't think I was," Kurt argued.
"Yes you were, you were in terrible peril!"
"Look, let me go back in there and face the peril," Kurt said bravely, and turned back to the castle.
Lancelot grabbed his arm. "No, no, it's too perilous," he said.
"Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can," Kurt said.
"No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!" Lancelot said quickly.
"Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?" Kurt pleaded, annoyed that Lancelot always got to have all the fun and he didn't.
"No. It's unhealthy," Lancelot said and began walking off.
Kurt looked back forlornly at the castle. "I'll bet he's gay," he muttered, and then glumly trudged off after Lancelot.
X