[ i n t e r l u d e ]
Well, Vejiita. I'm finally writing this all down. I have to
say, I'm not sure I really remember it all. It's been about a year since I last
talked to you. Do you remember? I'll bet you don't. You were only there for a
few minutes. Then someone else came in your place. I don't mean you got up and
left or anything. It was still you sitting there, but the way you talked and
spoke was as if another person had sat down in your place. It wasn't the
first time it had happened, you acting so strange and different all of a sudden.
You'd joke, you'd laugh, you were loud. You said to me, that day, that you
wanted to talk. You said, out of nowhere, "Craig, do you know who this is?" I
laughed and replied, "Yeah, sure. Of course. I'm talking to you, Vejiita." You
told me, no, that I was wrong. You said that Vejiita wasn't here right now. That
you weren't Vejiita; never was, never would be. Then you said you were Chester.
Vejiita, I was as confused as you must be now. You don't remember
any of this, do you? About being as loud and obnoxious as me. You don't know
anyone else like me. I'm not crazy, Vejiita. This Chester guy, whom, by the way,
I have met before, but always assumed that it was just you "in a good mood,"
said that he had been around for almost as long as you. He grew up with you, saw
everything you saw. He's not a scary, creepy guy, Vejiita, honest. He's okay. He
isn't someone who spies on you.
Maybe you're thinking, "Chester, hm?
That's what that Lars guy always called me. Craigie, could you be drunk and just
a little confused?"
Vejiita, I swear, I know what I'm talking about.
And you can validate that, you know. You don't fully recall our last
conversation, do you? But you remember sitting down across from me and saying hi
to me. By the way, Chester said at the end of the night that he felt sort of bad
about depriving from you a final conversation with your only real friend. By
Chester said that he felt that he and I were closer than you and I ever were. A
great guy, Chester, in my opinion, but quite biased. I'll admit, though, that
he's much more fun to be around than you, but I certainly enjoy your company.
Don't think I'm saying this just because I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're not half as bad as you think you are, really.
After Chester
and I got properly acquainted (he mentioned it felt strange since he had already
known me for six years), he told me there were others. I didn't get it either,
Vejiita. I still don't, really. I still don't fathom Chester's reasoning about
how he isn't you. I mean, you're in the same body, right? Just one brain.
Yeah... anyway, about the others....
Actually, Chester cautioned me
about telling you this. They all know about you, he said, but you don't have a
clue about them. He said he wasn't sure how well you'd handle this realization.
But I have far more respect for you than to keep this information from you. I
know you're strong enough to handle it– you must be strong, to not be an
alcoholic or drug junkie or raving lunatic after everything we went through.
I've barely made it in one piece myself... So, brace yourself. I will put this
all down on paper now.
Chester started off by telling me about
"Montgomery," who he called a prick, but to when he had to give credit for
handling some sticky situations that Chester was sure he couldn't have gotten
out of himself. He said Montgomery usually went on those missions and assemblies
you've always hated so much. He also said that Montgomery was sort of
intimidating and short-tempered, and that I was the only one he tolerated and
considered a friend.
"Rob," Chester told me then, is a killer, both
similar and different than Montgomery. Rob (not Robert) kills for the sake of
killing, and the thrill that goes along with it, and Montgomery kills for a
reason. In Chester's own words, Montgomery has "fucked-up logic , a twisted
sense of pride, and is a self-righteous fool who should turn his energy towards
more productive things than making the universe better suited towards his own
tastes." In short Montgomery is a self-proclaimed righteous bastard (another
quote from Chester) with a terrible arrogant streak and Rob just causes uncalled
for chaos.
The discussion of Rob bled into "Rip." Chester listed the
things Rob and Rip had in common. Both are spontaneous and impulsive and have no
foresight of the consequences of their actions. However, Rob is much more
conscious than Rip. I mean, Rob won't flip out on you for no good damn reason,
only when you annoy him. Chester's advice about the latter, "When he comes out –
Run." Rip does not think. He has no emotions. He does not negociate. But
Rob will, if you catch him in a good mood. He's a bit more civil than Rip.
Chester said both of their dispositions have been improving since the last time
they exposed themselves.
In any case, Chester said not to worry; Rip
and Rob don't come out too terribly often. Mostly you, himself, and Montgomery
ration out locomotion of your body.
All quite unbelievable, what
I've told you, don't you agree, Vejiita? I voiced my doubts: "Are you really
what you say you are? Are there really all these people inside you? Vejiita? Are
you putting me on?" Chester seemed disappointed at my suspicion but was more
angry than sad. He stood up and screamed at me about how he was confiding to me
something he had never brought up before. He said more, pal, but it's
irrelevant, and I don't think you want to know what he said, either. Let's just
said that I believe him.
I'm getting tired Vejiita, my mind is going
blank. I'm sorry, but I pity you. None of these characters, save Chester, seem
to be that likable. I should have asked him to write this all down when I had
the chance; he's the "memory trace" of all these people. He knows when and why
they turned up in the first place. And he would have been able to tell you about
it, for this situation is far more complicated than I'm sure I've made it sound.
But I do remember something else he said, the only other thing that's stuck with
me since we split up. They, according to Chester (who is also talking about
himself – to a point) , turn up and take over when you can't and black out. When
you're angry, or scared, stressed, of feeling trapped. They do what you can't do
when you're paralyzed from the those sort of emotions. Save the omniscient,
sociable Chester, the others all originally appeared due to something that
happened. He wouldn't tell me anymore. He said it was none of my damn business.
He made it seem that, in all likelihood, none of them had gone away,
and probably never would. And there was always the probability of more
turning up, even now. But he says he doesn't know how likely that is.
I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you, Vejiita. You know
that they exist now, at least. That will explain the blank periods you've
mentioned before. I can only wish you the best of luck and the ability to cope
with this illness. Try not to trouble yourself too badly about this – Chester is
a level-headed guy when he wants to be; he can stop the others if they get too
out of hand.
I'll try to stay in touch.
–Craigie