Scott and the knights walked around the backside of the Cave of Caerbannog
and found themselves staring at a vast ravine. They could see a small,
rickety looking bridge suspended over the gap. The ravine was filled with
fog, and the knights heard the sounds of torment and agony wafting up from
the depths.
"This is the Bridge of Death!" Scott said.
"Oh, great," said Robin, not liking the sound of this one bit.
As the knights approached the bridge, they saw a wizened old man standing next to the bridge on their side.
"Look!" Scott said and pointed at the man. "There's the old man from scene 24!"
"What's he doing here?" Bedevire asked.
Scott recalled what the old man had told him back in the tent. "He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death,"
"Will you stop saying Death already! You're giving me the willies!" Robin said, his knees shaking badly.
"Well, that's what it's called," Scott said. "Anyway, he asks each traveler 5 questions,"
"Three questions," Kurt said.
"Right, three questions," Scott said, glad that he had told Kurt about this obstacle so that he'd be able to correct him. "He who answers the five questions,"
"Three questions," Kurt corrected again.
"Three questions," Scott said, wondering what he'd ever do without Kurt. "May cross in safety,"
"What if you get a question wrong?" Robin said, torrents of sweat dripping down his forehead.
"Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril," Scott said.
"Peril?" Kurt said, his ears perking up. Maybe Amanda would be down there. If so, he might get a question wrong on purpose if it meant being eternally surrounded by peril.
"Not that kind of peril," Lancelot said, and whispered in Kurt's ear. Kurt turned white as Lancelot explained what sort of peril lay in wait.
"Oh, I see," Kurt said nervously. "Well, who's going to answer the questions then?" he asked.
Scott had an idea. "Sir Robin!" he said, wanting to give the knight a chance to prove his courage or else be rid of the chicken.
"Yes?" Robin asked timidly.
"Brave Sir Robin, you go!" Scott said.
"Uh, um," Robin said, fidgeting nervously. "Hey, I've got a great idea!" he said as inspiration struck. "Why doesn't Lancelot go?"
"Yes, let me go, my liege!" Lancelot volunteered. "I will take him single- handed. I shall make a feint to the northeast and,"
"No, no, hang on!" Scott said. There was no need for violence here. "Just answer the five questions,"
"Three questions,' Kurt said
"Three questions, as best you can. And we will watch, and pray," Scott said, starting to believe that they actually might need a little divine assistance to overcome this.
"I understand, my liege," Lancelot said, and approached the Bridge of Death.
"Stop!" ordered the Bridgekeeper as Lancelot approached him. "He would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"
Lancelot was undaunted. "Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid!" he said boldly.
"What is your name?" the Bridgekeeper asked.
"My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot!"
"What is your quest?"
"I seek the Holy Grail!"
"What is your favorite color?"
"Blue!" Lancelot said, not hesitating for a second.
"Right, off you go then," the Bridgekeeper said, and stepped back to allow Lancelot to pass.
"Oh, thank you very much," Lancelot said, and started across the narrow Bridge of Death.
"That's easy!" Robin shouted, and rushed for the bridge, wondering why he had been so afraid in the first place.
"Stop!" the Bridgekeeper said, and launched into his speech again. Robin waved his hand, trying to get the old man to hurry up and get to the questions so that he could get across the bridge.
"Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid!" said Robin, being truthful for once.
"What is your name?"
"Sir Robin of Camelot," Robin said non-chalantly.
"What is your quest?"
"To seek the Holy Grail,"
"What, is the capital of Assyria?" asked the old man in a sinister voice.
Robin started to answer, but realized that the old man was asking him a question he wasn't expecting. His mouth flopped open and shut like a fish gasping for breath as he desperately tried to find the answer. "I, I don't know that!" he said. Suddenly, he felt a force pick him up off the ground and send him hurtling through the air. Robin screamed as he was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril, and disappeared into the fog.
Kurt's eyes went wide as he saw Robin vanish. Timidly, he approached the bridge, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Stop!" ordered the Bridgekeeper. "What is your name?"
In his nervousness, Kurt almost said 'Kurt Wagner', but remembered the role he was playing just in time. "Sir Galahad of Camelot," he said.
"What is your quest?"
"I seek the Grail," Kurt said, his heart racing. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the final question.
"What, is your favorite color?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
Kurt opened his eyes as he heard the question. Phew, he thought, I got the easy one.
"Blue," he said, but then he suddenly recalled an image of Amanda, wearing her favorite sweater that he had given her as a Christmas present.
"No, yel-AAAAAHHHH!" he started to say, then shrieked as the invisible force sent him flying.
"Kurt!" Scott screamed and tried to grab onto his friend, but he was too late. All he could do was watch as Kurt was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
The Bridgekeeper cackled savagely as he saw Scott's reaction to losing Kurt. Bedevire started to step forward, but Scott placed his hand on her shoulder. "Stand back," he said, and walked towards the Bridgekeeper.
"Stop! What is your name?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
"It is Arthur, King of the Britons," Scott said angrily.
"What is your quest?"
"To seek the Holy Grail," And to get the hell out of this place, Scott thought.
"What, is the airspeed velocity of an un-laden swallow?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
Scott hesitated for a second, but then he recalled something that he had heard during his very first encounter in this dimension of lunacy.
"What do you mean?" he asked the Bridgekeeper. "An African, or a European swallow?" he asked, putting everything on the line with his question.
His gambit worked. The Bridgekeeper looked around nervously, expecting something bad to happen to him. "I, I don't know that!" he said. Suddenly, the Bridgekeeper flew through the air and into the Gorge of Eternal Peril, screaming all the way.
Yes! Scott thought triumphantly, pumping his fist in the air. He said a quick silent prayer for Kurt, and stepped onto the bridge. Bedevire followed right behind him.
"How do you know so much about swallows?" Bedevire asked him as they crossed.
"Well, you have to know these sort of things when you're a king you know," Scott said.
X
The bridge swayed back and forth as Scott and Bedevire made their way across. Scott stepped on one board, only to have it break under his weight and fall away. Only Bedevire's quick reflexes kept Scott from falling into the Gorge. Scott looked for the other side, and saw that it seemed miles away. Gritting his teeth, he pressed on, as the Gorge of Eternal Peril Symphony Orchestra, stationed on a ledge below them, played a suspenseful tune.
X
INTERMISSION
"Intermission? What's that mean?" Xavier asked Magneto as the word flashed up on the screen.
"Who knows anymore?" asked Magneto. "All I know is we're out of popcorn. Be back in minute," he said, rising to make some more popcorn for the exciting conclusion that was bound to come from this. someday.
X
"This is the Bridge of Death!" Scott said.
"Oh, great," said Robin, not liking the sound of this one bit.
As the knights approached the bridge, they saw a wizened old man standing next to the bridge on their side.
"Look!" Scott said and pointed at the man. "There's the old man from scene 24!"
"What's he doing here?" Bedevire asked.
Scott recalled what the old man had told him back in the tent. "He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death,"
"Will you stop saying Death already! You're giving me the willies!" Robin said, his knees shaking badly.
"Well, that's what it's called," Scott said. "Anyway, he asks each traveler 5 questions,"
"Three questions," Kurt said.
"Right, three questions," Scott said, glad that he had told Kurt about this obstacle so that he'd be able to correct him. "He who answers the five questions,"
"Three questions," Kurt corrected again.
"Three questions," Scott said, wondering what he'd ever do without Kurt. "May cross in safety,"
"What if you get a question wrong?" Robin said, torrents of sweat dripping down his forehead.
"Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril," Scott said.
"Peril?" Kurt said, his ears perking up. Maybe Amanda would be down there. If so, he might get a question wrong on purpose if it meant being eternally surrounded by peril.
"Not that kind of peril," Lancelot said, and whispered in Kurt's ear. Kurt turned white as Lancelot explained what sort of peril lay in wait.
"Oh, I see," Kurt said nervously. "Well, who's going to answer the questions then?" he asked.
Scott had an idea. "Sir Robin!" he said, wanting to give the knight a chance to prove his courage or else be rid of the chicken.
"Yes?" Robin asked timidly.
"Brave Sir Robin, you go!" Scott said.
"Uh, um," Robin said, fidgeting nervously. "Hey, I've got a great idea!" he said as inspiration struck. "Why doesn't Lancelot go?"
"Yes, let me go, my liege!" Lancelot volunteered. "I will take him single- handed. I shall make a feint to the northeast and,"
"No, no, hang on!" Scott said. There was no need for violence here. "Just answer the five questions,"
"Three questions,' Kurt said
"Three questions, as best you can. And we will watch, and pray," Scott said, starting to believe that they actually might need a little divine assistance to overcome this.
"I understand, my liege," Lancelot said, and approached the Bridge of Death.
"Stop!" ordered the Bridgekeeper as Lancelot approached him. "He would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"
Lancelot was undaunted. "Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid!" he said boldly.
"What is your name?" the Bridgekeeper asked.
"My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot!"
"What is your quest?"
"I seek the Holy Grail!"
"What is your favorite color?"
"Blue!" Lancelot said, not hesitating for a second.
"Right, off you go then," the Bridgekeeper said, and stepped back to allow Lancelot to pass.
"Oh, thank you very much," Lancelot said, and started across the narrow Bridge of Death.
"That's easy!" Robin shouted, and rushed for the bridge, wondering why he had been so afraid in the first place.
"Stop!" the Bridgekeeper said, and launched into his speech again. Robin waved his hand, trying to get the old man to hurry up and get to the questions so that he could get across the bridge.
"Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid!" said Robin, being truthful for once.
"What is your name?"
"Sir Robin of Camelot," Robin said non-chalantly.
"What is your quest?"
"To seek the Holy Grail,"
"What, is the capital of Assyria?" asked the old man in a sinister voice.
Robin started to answer, but realized that the old man was asking him a question he wasn't expecting. His mouth flopped open and shut like a fish gasping for breath as he desperately tried to find the answer. "I, I don't know that!" he said. Suddenly, he felt a force pick him up off the ground and send him hurtling through the air. Robin screamed as he was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril, and disappeared into the fog.
Kurt's eyes went wide as he saw Robin vanish. Timidly, he approached the bridge, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Stop!" ordered the Bridgekeeper. "What is your name?"
In his nervousness, Kurt almost said 'Kurt Wagner', but remembered the role he was playing just in time. "Sir Galahad of Camelot," he said.
"What is your quest?"
"I seek the Grail," Kurt said, his heart racing. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the final question.
"What, is your favorite color?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
Kurt opened his eyes as he heard the question. Phew, he thought, I got the easy one.
"Blue," he said, but then he suddenly recalled an image of Amanda, wearing her favorite sweater that he had given her as a Christmas present.
"No, yel-AAAAAHHHH!" he started to say, then shrieked as the invisible force sent him flying.
"Kurt!" Scott screamed and tried to grab onto his friend, but he was too late. All he could do was watch as Kurt was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
The Bridgekeeper cackled savagely as he saw Scott's reaction to losing Kurt. Bedevire started to step forward, but Scott placed his hand on her shoulder. "Stand back," he said, and walked towards the Bridgekeeper.
"Stop! What is your name?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
"It is Arthur, King of the Britons," Scott said angrily.
"What is your quest?"
"To seek the Holy Grail," And to get the hell out of this place, Scott thought.
"What, is the airspeed velocity of an un-laden swallow?" asked the Bridgekeeper.
Scott hesitated for a second, but then he recalled something that he had heard during his very first encounter in this dimension of lunacy.
"What do you mean?" he asked the Bridgekeeper. "An African, or a European swallow?" he asked, putting everything on the line with his question.
His gambit worked. The Bridgekeeper looked around nervously, expecting something bad to happen to him. "I, I don't know that!" he said. Suddenly, the Bridgekeeper flew through the air and into the Gorge of Eternal Peril, screaming all the way.
Yes! Scott thought triumphantly, pumping his fist in the air. He said a quick silent prayer for Kurt, and stepped onto the bridge. Bedevire followed right behind him.
"How do you know so much about swallows?" Bedevire asked him as they crossed.
"Well, you have to know these sort of things when you're a king you know," Scott said.
X
The bridge swayed back and forth as Scott and Bedevire made their way across. Scott stepped on one board, only to have it break under his weight and fall away. Only Bedevire's quick reflexes kept Scott from falling into the Gorge. Scott looked for the other side, and saw that it seemed miles away. Gritting his teeth, he pressed on, as the Gorge of Eternal Peril Symphony Orchestra, stationed on a ledge below them, played a suspenseful tune.
X
INTERMISSION
"Intermission? What's that mean?" Xavier asked Magneto as the word flashed up on the screen.
"Who knows anymore?" asked Magneto. "All I know is we're out of popcorn. Be back in minute," he said, rising to make some more popcorn for the exciting conclusion that was bound to come from this. someday.
X