XIII. The Tears of Time
But a voice
Is wanting, the deep truth is imageless;
For what would it avail to bid thee gaze
On the revolving world? What to bid speak
Fate, Time, Occasion, Chance and Change? To these
All things are subject but Eternal Love.
P. B. Shelley, "Prometheus Unbound"
When Allen and Millerna arrived with Chid, who planned to spend a few vacation days in Fanelia, the rest of the company had already assembled in the dining hall. Hitomi was well enough to come, and as soon as everyone settled into their seats, her and Van announced the good news. The entire room rejoiced for the coming wedding and the royal child. Orion and Selena heightened the happy evening by announcing their engagement. Nestor made it his honor to post the news to the citizens the following morning.
But Orion was the more exalted. He stood on a chair and tapped his shoes to create a lively tune as he exclaimed, "Van laughed! Van laughed!" The long delayed laughter which he has longed to hear has finally come. It reassured him that his dearest friend has found the complete life. When Van spoke of his baby, his smile was not insincere, and his voice did not camouflage unseen pain. Orion knew immediately that the vision of Eros he once received about Van and Hitomi, is infinitely fulfilled.
Just as everyone bloomed in the discussion of the joint wedding, a messenger entered apologetically and whispered something to the king. Van listened and his smile vanished; a mystery descended upon his mirth. "A pillar of light?" he said austerely, and everyone froze. "How can that be? Take us to the spot at once!" He sprung up and threw down his napkin.
On the way to the site, Van did not utter one word of explanation, but just looked towards the forest beyond Fidell. This light, which had so long been a god and scourge to Van, threatened to shatter his present peace, so he approached it as if facing an old enemy, vengeful lest it should snatch Hitomi away again. The explaining was left to the messenger: about an hour ago, some guards at the gate saw a pillar of light land in the woods. It seemed to be carrying an object.
When they reached the forest edge, everyone got off the carriage and horses. They walked a little before the sound of a wailing cry became distinct. "It's a baby!" someone yelled. After groping around and following the sound, they came upon the object the pillar brought. The men held their torches next to the thing and affirmed that it was a cradle with a baby inside.
"Take a look, Van," Orion shouted above the child's cries. "There's some sort of message around his neck!"
Van jerked at the tag somewhat harshly. Millerna ran up and pushed everyone's hands away. "You men! Be careful with a little child! Anyways, what does the message say?"
"Don't know," Van replied. "It's not written in our language."
Everyone automatically turned to Hitomi. She bent down and saw the words by the firelight. The message was written in haste, but translated into at least ten terrestrial languages. "Oh my goodness, this baby is from the Mystic Moon!" murmurs arose. She waited for Millerna to lull baby, then she read the part written in Japanese. "Okay, it says, 'To the kind person who discovers this cradle: may God forgive our cruelty in leaving a child out in the wilderness to battle nature and chance! But we have on choice: the war has gotten so bad, and being forced to escape as refugees, we cannot take him with us. He probably has a better chance of surviving in the woods than in the hands of an enemy soldier. Therefore, merciful benefactor, please find it in your heart to take care of him and love him as your own. His name is." Hitomi's startled eyes glanced up at Van. "Amadis."
Millerna lovingly took the baby and Allen went to her side. They seemed to have an affinity with the strange infant that dropped out of space and time. Perhaps it is just that this baby bore a fleeting reminder of their dead child.
Van looked at them with an emptiness that could almost be considered acrimonious. Orion caught his eyes and nodded to him but Van only evaded the hint. Orion knew about Amadis from Van's story, but he also knew what it was like to be abandoned by one's parents. No sin of an adult's tainted life should leave its karmic punishment to an innocent little soul. Not even Van could justify the unfairness.
Allen and Millerna held the baby with the affectionate arms of young parents. "Van," Millerna called out to him. "I know this is a hasty decision, but we've come to a conclusion anyways. Let us take care of him. We'll raise him as the prince of Asturia. See, his hair and eyes both resemble Allen's. What a coincidence! Someday, he'll even become the king. What better fate for the poor child!"
Van walked away without a word or gesture. He got on his horse and left alone. Hitomi apologized for his behavior and tried to ease the awkward ambience he created. But Millerna took the baby anyhow. Everyone gathered in her room and they soon forgot themselves as they delighted in taking care of the young and unfortunate little life. After being washed, fed, and healed, Amadis was soon kicking and smiling like a healthy boy. Everyone crowded in front of the cradle and made clown faces, to which he excitedly clapped his chubby little hands.
Hitomi stole away from the crowd and went to Van's room, where she found him at his desk. She slammed the door shut. "Van, what is the matter with you? He is an abandoned baby! Do you think it's better that we leave him in the woods to die? He's an orphan. Surely you of all people know what that's like!"
"He is not an orphan!" Van stood up and pointed out the door. "Need I remind you that Amadis is Branimir's son? He's probably here to seek revenge. It was as if Branimir raped Seraphine! And this baby is the result! He cannot become the king of Asturia! How can I let the child of such a dangerous character be near my friends and family?"
"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the name Amadis is just quite popular? It's probably just a coincidence."
"Oh, come on! After all that's happened, do you honestly think there could be so great a coincidence? The entire process of him landing in Fanelia is just too strange. I cannot dismiss this as mere chance."
"I thought you didn't believe in fate, Van," she said coldly, and he was silenced. "Besides, if you want someone to blame, then blame yourself. It was you who left Seraphine to Branimir!"
"What?" Van glared irately then went to the bed chamber and buried his head beneath his pillow.
"Don't be such a child, Van!" she pursued him. "You may hate Branimir, but don't hate Seraphine." Hitomi sat down beside him and suddenly spoke softly. "She reincarnated because she wanted to see Amadis. She loves him just as I love our son. I know you understand. Don't forget, that night in the prison, Seraphine saved us. Don't you think we owe her at least this much?"
Van still did not acquiesce. Hitomi blew out the candle and lay down beside him. Darkling, she heard his labored breathing and uncertain heart. "You have reason for your doubt, I know. But I also know there is much love in your heart. You must learn to let go of hate and fear. You still have not done that completely. Let Allen and Millerna use love to purge Amadis of his father's dark history. Seraphine will be smiling in heaven." She said no more. Even though Van slept with his back towards her, she felt basked in his love. There is no iceberg that would not be thawed by his beautiful soul.
The following morning, Van woke up with a new courage. He conceded to the truth that he had always known. Happiness for Amadis meant peace for the already departed Seraphine. He hurried down to the guest quarters to give his two friends a belated blessing. Though Millerna did not really need Van's approval, she was relieved to know of his understanding. The orphaned child, elusively transported from the Mystic Moon, would henceforth be known as Amadis Leon Schezar, Crown Prince of Asturia, Duke of Palas and, through his fraternal relations with Chid, the Count of Godashim.
Van had always been complacent regarding his own learning. But this knowledge of love which he learned from everyone around him, gave him a colossal sense of wealth that surpasses the price of kingdoms. He realized that all of them are orphans, but through the conflagration of the adventures that brought them together, they've earned a new family. This bond is beyond blood, even needless of it. It flows as water does, though thinner than blood, but ever swifter and clearer, rushing forth in torrential speed, irrigating the earth, filling the ocean. The water of the world is never lost but rotates through the many systems. Eventually, two streams will return to the confluence and there, love will merge again.
Van roused Hitomi up with the aromatic smell of the herbal soup he personally cooked for her. She was overjoyed to learn that her faith in his goodness had not been in vain. The grudge of the preceding night was deliquesced, and they continued their affectionate jokes and laughter.
The day was spent in concoction for the joint wedding of the two young couples. Because Millerna would be busy with the baby, and Hitomi's physical condition would be unfit for strenuous planning, Selena volunteered to lead the management team. The two grooms and two brides rested beneath the shade of the veranda. Their exuberant voices were accompanied by the birdsongs and the murmurings of the water.
As the time wore away, they deviated from the main topic and blithely conversed on numerous subjects. They celebrated youth, love, life, the sky and Fanelia. Each remark was encapsulated in an aura of bliss and fervent expectation of the future. To see joy and ease on the faces of dear ones was promise enough for each of them. While Van and Orion went away to bring food, the two girls would hold hands and giggle about their young men, and dream of their wedding.
In the dazzling sunlight, the Fanelian sky enjoyed a day of cerulean decked with cirrus clouds that trailed like wings of the white dragon, which vanished from Gaea yet still existed in the empyrean. Even near sunset, there was a chromatic brilliance around everything. Orion and Selena chose to go see Amadis. Van thought it an apt hour to take Hitomi to the royal tombs.
He had planned to introduce his future wife formally to his parents. But upon the exhilarating thought of Hitomi being his wife, his face shaded to carmine. Then he remembered that he even got her pregnant before the wedding. In all humility and shame, he knelt before the marble tombs with closed eyes and talked to his parents as one would pray to God. He enfolded Hitomi's palms within his and raised all four pilgrim-like hands in devotion upward to heaven. Van was absorbed in the prayer, and the plumed movements of the sacred dell kindled his heart.
But soon, he noticed the change in the atmosphere. The dell was becalmed - all wind, all sounds, ceased. Just before he resolved to stand up and look about, Hitomi gently tugged on his shirt. He opened his eyes and nearly toppled over the sight: his family, materialized into life, stood in front of him.
King Goau and Queen Varie appeared in the halo of eternal life. A little behind them, stood Folken. They spoke not a word and simply smiled at the young twain. Van and Hitomi supported each other by the arms. He ventured to address them in order to verify their strange presence. "Mother, Father, brother, I.I assume that this is not like my travel to the past, and that you've come here, from the other world, to see us."
"But we see you every moment, my dear son," Varie's piano-like voice tolled to Van. Imprisoned tears caused him to quiver. But then his mother came over - she did not exactly tread on the ground but brushed over it aerially - and opened her arms like some saint who has come to redeem the hurt. After some uncertainty, Van finally collapsed into the maternal embrace and wept as he had fifteen years ago. "There, there." she lifted up his bangs and kissed his forehead. "It's okay, my son. You must be strong. We know you can overcome what we in our lives could not. That is why you are our pride and hope."
"Mother, please.this make me ashamed of myself. I am not as great as you suppose. I don't want to disappoint you."
"But it isn't about greatness," his father spoke now, holy with his voice of thunder mist. "Van, being a good king is about wisdom and courage, both of which you have, among many other qualities. Your challenge lies in retaining the light even when darkness should reign."
"I understand, Father."
"Van," Varie secured him by the shoulders. "Remember, your will still guides Gaea to her future. And don't fret, I've never favored Folken above you. You both are my life and blood."
At this point, Varie suddenly turned to Hitomi who had been silent hitherto. Varie reached out her hand. Hitomi had expected her tone to be scornful as before, and her touch to be icy as a spirit. But the warmth of Varie's hand felt airy yet human somehow, and her words were kind. "Hitomi, please take care of my son. I know that I did not trust your decisions five years ago because I feared your heart was full of uncertainty. But now I see that you have found the balance within," she then placed Hitomi's hand in Van's. "Love each other. The whole universe exists in this. Never cease such cherishing."
After a kiss on Van's cheek, Varie and Goau backed away. "Hitomi," Goau addressed her, "Your parents are happy in the afterlife. So let your heart rest. We will watch over you and we will protect Gaea from afar."
As soon as there was an infinitesimal thought in Van's mind of letting his parents go, they disappeared. But Folken remained where he was. He did not break the silence, but just looked at them. In his pellucid eyes, they comprehended that it is not evanescence which pervades the ephemeral world, but rather that there is a veil cast over all that is transcendent and endless. Such visitations from the shadowy dead is an unveiling of the mist which obscures the sensory realm from the eternal one.
Folken smiled. It was just a casual smile that one brother would give to another every night before going to bed. When Van smiled back, Folken was already gone.
Death survives, but so does life. Death becomes an assurance of man's continuity, the periods of humanity in his existence. It is a part of life, another dimension, another starting point for the same state of being. Death has no form and is boundless, but it nevertheless forms, with chance and mutability, the black circumference, the definite outline, of Eternity.
Van and Hitomi continued to look at the consecrated tombs. But they noticed that the wind did not resume its trail. Van turned around with a start and called out to the air. "You're there, aren't you, Aleph? Come out!" To Hitomi's surprise, the silver beard and snowy robe gradually became visible. Aleph stood every inch like a sagacious elder. The august holiness and severity he displayed on Serenus was replaced with a yielding kindness, like a grandfather.
Hitomi was the first to accost him. "Aleph, have you come to draw the final mark?"
"But there is no final mark, my child. It is never over. As you said, even the sun has a fate."
Van disliked his ominous tone. "What do you mean by that?"
"Any explanation I have to give you will be a mundane repetition of what you already know. I've come to show you that I've been here all along, and of course, I wanted to give you my blessings for your baby."
"Thank you then, but.can you please give us some kind of reassurance, so we know that the conclusions we came to by ourselves are not wrong?" Hitomi asked.
Aleph winked at her. "If you must have it, dear, then I shall tell you," he kept his hands behind his back and paced as if giving a lecture on morality. "As you've experienced, in that other potential past, Love and Freya, the Anima Mundi, transformed time and space. You have evoked their power, the true power of Atlantis."
"If this is the ideal past, then does it mean we'll have the ideal future?" Van interrupted with the vital question.
Aleph paused and patted Van's shoulder. "Don't forget, it is never over. As you know, most parts of the universe is cyclic, an endless process of separating and uniting, eternal death and eternal rebirth."
"But Love." Van and Hitomi nearly called out simultaneously.
"Ah, yes," Aleph raised a finger authoritatively. "Eternal Love cancels the cyclic futurity ruled by fate. Yes, it is true that you two have attained the transcendent force given by the Anima Mundi. There is you, but then, there is the rest of the universe," he glanced at them and Hitomi cast her eyes down. "Don't forget, just because you two are protected under the wings of Love, does not mean everyone else is also. I cannot tell you the reason. All I say is this, before you learn all the answers, you must help us bring forth the greater Love. Spread the Atlantis within. Teach your children to do the same."
"I understand," Hitomi said, "Personal love must expand to universal Love. That is what is eternal. We are but a part of it."
"Hitomi," Aleph touched her cheek, "My Iris, windows to the soul, I." to their amazement, even Aleph could find words insufficient. The Truth is beyond language. What the Anime Mundi taught them is imageless. The goddess herself is pure revelation, burning through what seems to hide her. She has no analogue in the world of senses, but she is undoubtedly a living presence, felt as surely as wind is felt.
Aleph walked away from them and into the trees. Before his departure, he turned and said, "By the way, Van, Valorick is a good name for the baby."
Nature once again infused the dell. The wind whistled and the birds sang. Van held Hitomi the same way he did five years ago, when they stood on the same spot. But back then they embraced for farewell, whereas now they prepared to hold each other in endless union.
Hitomi nudged her head against Van's chest. "You know, I really don't care about the unsolved mysteries right now."
"Me neither. But there is one thing I just thought of. Remember in the past life, after I died, Orion created Serenus with the help of a woman who claimed to have known me? Well, I think that woman was you."
"That's strange, I was just thinking about that too. Perhaps it was me. But even if I never know the truth, it's okay. I'm happy just being here. It was so good to see your parents, and Folken again. And even Aleph seemed so nice." She backed away and pulled his arms, swinging them in the air. "Before, home was always elsewhere for me. When I first came to Gaea, I thought home was on Earth. But when I was there, all I could think of was Fanelia and you. But now, for the first time, home is exactly where I am, at this moment, with you. Now I never have to miss some place so painfully. The concept of home is really the feeling have when I'm with you."
Van's crescent smile dissipated all his confusion. He went forth, picked Hitomi up and kissed her, with the same passion and freshness as when their lips first met in the crystal rain of Serenus. They held the Atlantis within, along with all the wisdom acquired during their perils, but all that receded for now, and they held only each other. Standing at the heart of the empyrean, their kiss reminded the world of an augury of Love, portending the permanence of an uncovered reality.
....
Even in the twelve-winded evening, the translucent sky diffused light. In times of loneliness and melancholy, we would think that the darkness is absolute, that it alone is durable. But in Reality, the dark itself is spurious, continually modified by the stars and the glares of day that seeped from the other side of the world. This light illumines our sky, and the sky that overarches this sky, and the one beyond.a boundless series of celestial domes. If this infinity took a physical form, it might be us, human beings whose very existence lend a glimpse into the stars, of which we are the fair and foul progeny. We share in the constants of the universe. Some things in us are necessarily absolute, not relative with time or chance.
Van and Hitomi walked into the ballroom, in their new formal attire, and saw infinity contained in their loved ones. The two kings had ordered a celebration of the numerous joys. Van was the last to enter, and he commenced the festivities by saying the simple truth, "Even if war should occur in the outside world, this inner peace is ours." He waved his hand and the band struck up the music.
There was a trio of violin, viola, and cello, accompanied by flutes and a piano. Hitomi thought if Love could have a sound, this is exactly what it would sound like. Melodious like the harmony of an angel choir, and soothing like the breeze plashed across the face. Its image is not the downward motion of "falling in love", but the upward ascent of "soaring with Love."
The ballroom was enlivened with laughter and exalted words. Orion ran around chasing Merle and Vianne, pumping into the waiters, while Selena tried to stop them like an anxious mother. Allen and Millerna were fully concentrated on their beautiful son, who babbled in baby talk. Duke Chid sat in the corner with Nestor, and the two found much philosophical topics to discuss. Other ladies and lords, some soldiers and the crew of the Crusade, all mingled in the crowd. Couples filled the dance floor, and children flocked to the food plates.
Van and Hitomi made their way through the people who incessantly gave them blessings and congratulations. They crossed the room and went onto the balcony. A view of the constellation of Orion hung mystically near the orb that is Hitomi's old home. Van called Nestor outside and asked him what that constellation is called on Gaea.
The old advisor took off his spectacles and gazed studiously into the sky. "Ah, yes, Your Majesty, the three belt stars. Yes, we call it the 'Tears of Time'. You see, the whole constellation looks like an hour glass, and the belt in the middle represents the passage of time. The three stars separately are called Past, Present and Future. Quite intriguing. There is a myth behind this but I cannot recall it at this moment. If you'd like, Milord, I can go research right now."
"That won't be necessary, Nestor. Thank you. You can go enjoy the party now." The old man bowed and smiled at the formidable young king whom he loved as his own grandson. He then hurried back to Duke Chid.
"The 'Tears of Time'.I like that." Van wrapped his arms around Hitomi's entire waist.
"It sounds so hopeful," she leaned on him securely. She held out her hand and admired the ring. "I love this green, it's so soothing. They say the universe is green too, you know."
"Really? Like your eyes? Like Fanelia?"
She pinched his cheek. "Yes, silly boy."
They ruminated on the view, and let the zephyr sweep all dust from the path of their starry vision. White petals were blown from some April blossom, and Hitomi reached out her palm to received the pieces of snow. The rustling of trees which Van so loves was there also, and it heralded that time is crying.
The sound of happiness came from the ballroom behind them. They also heard the intensified sound of the mysteries of past and future. But that too, would be behind them. Death is in the air, but not fear and sorrow, because a compromise had been made between destiny and Love.
Ever since Dornkirk, Van and Hitomi had ceased to believe in predetermined fate. Their Love rises above fate or destiny. To say there is a predetermined lover is to bargain with God for inevitable happiness. But they did not need a prearranged meeting with Eros - they can see him directly. Destiny is a thing for mortals without immortality, and thus true Love has nothing to do with it. Destiny is imprisoned by time, because it places Love within a specific point in life when two pairs of enamored eyes meet across the room. People say that life begins then. But the truth is, Love should always have existed, it does not begin on one fine day. It is wrong to say Hitomi journeyed through many loves before she reached Van, because her soul never really left him. She dreamt of Love and did not know she was dreaming of him. But once she had the revelation of Love, the vision of Eros, she begins and ends in him, as he does in her. Their Love just is. It is the ultimate "to be", with no sequence, no bounds. It is not so much Eternity in a moment as it is a moment in Eternity.
Van suddenly bent down and placed an ear against Hitomi's stomach.
"What are you doing?" she laughed. "The baby's only a month old. You won't be able to hear anything."
"No, wait.I think I hear him. He sounds like.like the sky, or like the fluttering of wings," Van kissed his unborn child. "In here is a world we've created."
Van could not deny the lingering fear in his heart that Valorick may grow up and one day face war and pain. But he holds a pillar-strong faith that even if tragedy comes again, they can surmount it again. Hope exists despite fulfillment.
The background music from the ballroom played in symphonic unison with the wind, announcing wisdom attained, Love regained. Favonius, god of the west wind, led an Aeolian parade that came to Fanelia, and lined up in front of the castle, forming a passage to infinity. The Aeolian spirits looked upon the king and queen as if upon Eros and Psyche. Van and Hitomi dreamt of a greater Love, a Love more mysterious and immense than their own empyrean existence. The music ceased for a second, and they saw the whispering gust that carried away trains of snow petals up towards the birthplace of worlds to come.
~ End of Part XIII & Book One: Gaea Regained ~
~ Beginning of Book Two: Gaea Rising ~
AHHHHH! Can't believe I finished it!!!!! I know, I know this chapter was a little dull, but I wrote it for my own indulgence (some parts of it are autobiographical). Sorry for the slackening of BRI writing - I'm currently working under poor conditions, but I tried my best. Yep, I'm bound to get some bad reviews;( But anyways, I really enjoyed giving Van and Hitomi the ending they deserve - of course, this is only book one, so the real ending is different. After writing this, I totally feel this sense of loss, the same thing I felt when I watched the last episode of the series *weep* I really hope you will tune in to "Interlude: Book of Aeons", which has a bunch of letters and diaries written by the characters themselves. About Book Two, a huge part of the story line is pretty vague, so I have to wait. If you're really anxious, then I thank you and apologize before hand. I have to see if Book One does well on fanfic.net, if not, then I guess it's bye-bye. Of course, if I have the story, I will still continue writing for my few devoted fans. At this midway point in "Both are Infinite", I take a bow to you, dear Reader, for traveling this exciting journey with me! The story has meant my life to me during these past months, and you made it possible for me to write, so thank you;)
Notes and Points of Interest: As far as I know, all the astronomical references in the last 3 chapters are scientifically correct. Of course some are only theoretical. For example, the thing about the universe being green is currently only a speculation. Some scientists did a spectral scan of the universe from the beginning till now and realized that it was once blue, now green and it will someday be red (because of decreasing temperature). The whole thing about starlight coming from the past sounds incredible, but it is very real. There's a lot more cool stuff like this, if you're interested, check up some site on Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Btw, everything about Orion and the Egyptians is true. The main questions left unanswered are: the dragon and phoenix; the prophecy Hitomi read from the scroll Aleph gave her (from Ch.5), and Hitomi's role in Van's past. I think these three are the only unsolved mysteries. If I've forgotten any, please tell me right away. Of course, all the riddles will be unraveled in Book Two!
But a voice
Is wanting, the deep truth is imageless;
For what would it avail to bid thee gaze
On the revolving world? What to bid speak
Fate, Time, Occasion, Chance and Change? To these
All things are subject but Eternal Love.
P. B. Shelley, "Prometheus Unbound"
When Allen and Millerna arrived with Chid, who planned to spend a few vacation days in Fanelia, the rest of the company had already assembled in the dining hall. Hitomi was well enough to come, and as soon as everyone settled into their seats, her and Van announced the good news. The entire room rejoiced for the coming wedding and the royal child. Orion and Selena heightened the happy evening by announcing their engagement. Nestor made it his honor to post the news to the citizens the following morning.
But Orion was the more exalted. He stood on a chair and tapped his shoes to create a lively tune as he exclaimed, "Van laughed! Van laughed!" The long delayed laughter which he has longed to hear has finally come. It reassured him that his dearest friend has found the complete life. When Van spoke of his baby, his smile was not insincere, and his voice did not camouflage unseen pain. Orion knew immediately that the vision of Eros he once received about Van and Hitomi, is infinitely fulfilled.
Just as everyone bloomed in the discussion of the joint wedding, a messenger entered apologetically and whispered something to the king. Van listened and his smile vanished; a mystery descended upon his mirth. "A pillar of light?" he said austerely, and everyone froze. "How can that be? Take us to the spot at once!" He sprung up and threw down his napkin.
On the way to the site, Van did not utter one word of explanation, but just looked towards the forest beyond Fidell. This light, which had so long been a god and scourge to Van, threatened to shatter his present peace, so he approached it as if facing an old enemy, vengeful lest it should snatch Hitomi away again. The explaining was left to the messenger: about an hour ago, some guards at the gate saw a pillar of light land in the woods. It seemed to be carrying an object.
When they reached the forest edge, everyone got off the carriage and horses. They walked a little before the sound of a wailing cry became distinct. "It's a baby!" someone yelled. After groping around and following the sound, they came upon the object the pillar brought. The men held their torches next to the thing and affirmed that it was a cradle with a baby inside.
"Take a look, Van," Orion shouted above the child's cries. "There's some sort of message around his neck!"
Van jerked at the tag somewhat harshly. Millerna ran up and pushed everyone's hands away. "You men! Be careful with a little child! Anyways, what does the message say?"
"Don't know," Van replied. "It's not written in our language."
Everyone automatically turned to Hitomi. She bent down and saw the words by the firelight. The message was written in haste, but translated into at least ten terrestrial languages. "Oh my goodness, this baby is from the Mystic Moon!" murmurs arose. She waited for Millerna to lull baby, then she read the part written in Japanese. "Okay, it says, 'To the kind person who discovers this cradle: may God forgive our cruelty in leaving a child out in the wilderness to battle nature and chance! But we have on choice: the war has gotten so bad, and being forced to escape as refugees, we cannot take him with us. He probably has a better chance of surviving in the woods than in the hands of an enemy soldier. Therefore, merciful benefactor, please find it in your heart to take care of him and love him as your own. His name is." Hitomi's startled eyes glanced up at Van. "Amadis."
Millerna lovingly took the baby and Allen went to her side. They seemed to have an affinity with the strange infant that dropped out of space and time. Perhaps it is just that this baby bore a fleeting reminder of their dead child.
Van looked at them with an emptiness that could almost be considered acrimonious. Orion caught his eyes and nodded to him but Van only evaded the hint. Orion knew about Amadis from Van's story, but he also knew what it was like to be abandoned by one's parents. No sin of an adult's tainted life should leave its karmic punishment to an innocent little soul. Not even Van could justify the unfairness.
Allen and Millerna held the baby with the affectionate arms of young parents. "Van," Millerna called out to him. "I know this is a hasty decision, but we've come to a conclusion anyways. Let us take care of him. We'll raise him as the prince of Asturia. See, his hair and eyes both resemble Allen's. What a coincidence! Someday, he'll even become the king. What better fate for the poor child!"
Van walked away without a word or gesture. He got on his horse and left alone. Hitomi apologized for his behavior and tried to ease the awkward ambience he created. But Millerna took the baby anyhow. Everyone gathered in her room and they soon forgot themselves as they delighted in taking care of the young and unfortunate little life. After being washed, fed, and healed, Amadis was soon kicking and smiling like a healthy boy. Everyone crowded in front of the cradle and made clown faces, to which he excitedly clapped his chubby little hands.
Hitomi stole away from the crowd and went to Van's room, where she found him at his desk. She slammed the door shut. "Van, what is the matter with you? He is an abandoned baby! Do you think it's better that we leave him in the woods to die? He's an orphan. Surely you of all people know what that's like!"
"He is not an orphan!" Van stood up and pointed out the door. "Need I remind you that Amadis is Branimir's son? He's probably here to seek revenge. It was as if Branimir raped Seraphine! And this baby is the result! He cannot become the king of Asturia! How can I let the child of such a dangerous character be near my friends and family?"
"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the name Amadis is just quite popular? It's probably just a coincidence."
"Oh, come on! After all that's happened, do you honestly think there could be so great a coincidence? The entire process of him landing in Fanelia is just too strange. I cannot dismiss this as mere chance."
"I thought you didn't believe in fate, Van," she said coldly, and he was silenced. "Besides, if you want someone to blame, then blame yourself. It was you who left Seraphine to Branimir!"
"What?" Van glared irately then went to the bed chamber and buried his head beneath his pillow.
"Don't be such a child, Van!" she pursued him. "You may hate Branimir, but don't hate Seraphine." Hitomi sat down beside him and suddenly spoke softly. "She reincarnated because she wanted to see Amadis. She loves him just as I love our son. I know you understand. Don't forget, that night in the prison, Seraphine saved us. Don't you think we owe her at least this much?"
Van still did not acquiesce. Hitomi blew out the candle and lay down beside him. Darkling, she heard his labored breathing and uncertain heart. "You have reason for your doubt, I know. But I also know there is much love in your heart. You must learn to let go of hate and fear. You still have not done that completely. Let Allen and Millerna use love to purge Amadis of his father's dark history. Seraphine will be smiling in heaven." She said no more. Even though Van slept with his back towards her, she felt basked in his love. There is no iceberg that would not be thawed by his beautiful soul.
The following morning, Van woke up with a new courage. He conceded to the truth that he had always known. Happiness for Amadis meant peace for the already departed Seraphine. He hurried down to the guest quarters to give his two friends a belated blessing. Though Millerna did not really need Van's approval, she was relieved to know of his understanding. The orphaned child, elusively transported from the Mystic Moon, would henceforth be known as Amadis Leon Schezar, Crown Prince of Asturia, Duke of Palas and, through his fraternal relations with Chid, the Count of Godashim.
Van had always been complacent regarding his own learning. But this knowledge of love which he learned from everyone around him, gave him a colossal sense of wealth that surpasses the price of kingdoms. He realized that all of them are orphans, but through the conflagration of the adventures that brought them together, they've earned a new family. This bond is beyond blood, even needless of it. It flows as water does, though thinner than blood, but ever swifter and clearer, rushing forth in torrential speed, irrigating the earth, filling the ocean. The water of the world is never lost but rotates through the many systems. Eventually, two streams will return to the confluence and there, love will merge again.
Van roused Hitomi up with the aromatic smell of the herbal soup he personally cooked for her. She was overjoyed to learn that her faith in his goodness had not been in vain. The grudge of the preceding night was deliquesced, and they continued their affectionate jokes and laughter.
The day was spent in concoction for the joint wedding of the two young couples. Because Millerna would be busy with the baby, and Hitomi's physical condition would be unfit for strenuous planning, Selena volunteered to lead the management team. The two grooms and two brides rested beneath the shade of the veranda. Their exuberant voices were accompanied by the birdsongs and the murmurings of the water.
As the time wore away, they deviated from the main topic and blithely conversed on numerous subjects. They celebrated youth, love, life, the sky and Fanelia. Each remark was encapsulated in an aura of bliss and fervent expectation of the future. To see joy and ease on the faces of dear ones was promise enough for each of them. While Van and Orion went away to bring food, the two girls would hold hands and giggle about their young men, and dream of their wedding.
In the dazzling sunlight, the Fanelian sky enjoyed a day of cerulean decked with cirrus clouds that trailed like wings of the white dragon, which vanished from Gaea yet still existed in the empyrean. Even near sunset, there was a chromatic brilliance around everything. Orion and Selena chose to go see Amadis. Van thought it an apt hour to take Hitomi to the royal tombs.
He had planned to introduce his future wife formally to his parents. But upon the exhilarating thought of Hitomi being his wife, his face shaded to carmine. Then he remembered that he even got her pregnant before the wedding. In all humility and shame, he knelt before the marble tombs with closed eyes and talked to his parents as one would pray to God. He enfolded Hitomi's palms within his and raised all four pilgrim-like hands in devotion upward to heaven. Van was absorbed in the prayer, and the plumed movements of the sacred dell kindled his heart.
But soon, he noticed the change in the atmosphere. The dell was becalmed - all wind, all sounds, ceased. Just before he resolved to stand up and look about, Hitomi gently tugged on his shirt. He opened his eyes and nearly toppled over the sight: his family, materialized into life, stood in front of him.
King Goau and Queen Varie appeared in the halo of eternal life. A little behind them, stood Folken. They spoke not a word and simply smiled at the young twain. Van and Hitomi supported each other by the arms. He ventured to address them in order to verify their strange presence. "Mother, Father, brother, I.I assume that this is not like my travel to the past, and that you've come here, from the other world, to see us."
"But we see you every moment, my dear son," Varie's piano-like voice tolled to Van. Imprisoned tears caused him to quiver. But then his mother came over - she did not exactly tread on the ground but brushed over it aerially - and opened her arms like some saint who has come to redeem the hurt. After some uncertainty, Van finally collapsed into the maternal embrace and wept as he had fifteen years ago. "There, there." she lifted up his bangs and kissed his forehead. "It's okay, my son. You must be strong. We know you can overcome what we in our lives could not. That is why you are our pride and hope."
"Mother, please.this make me ashamed of myself. I am not as great as you suppose. I don't want to disappoint you."
"But it isn't about greatness," his father spoke now, holy with his voice of thunder mist. "Van, being a good king is about wisdom and courage, both of which you have, among many other qualities. Your challenge lies in retaining the light even when darkness should reign."
"I understand, Father."
"Van," Varie secured him by the shoulders. "Remember, your will still guides Gaea to her future. And don't fret, I've never favored Folken above you. You both are my life and blood."
At this point, Varie suddenly turned to Hitomi who had been silent hitherto. Varie reached out her hand. Hitomi had expected her tone to be scornful as before, and her touch to be icy as a spirit. But the warmth of Varie's hand felt airy yet human somehow, and her words were kind. "Hitomi, please take care of my son. I know that I did not trust your decisions five years ago because I feared your heart was full of uncertainty. But now I see that you have found the balance within," she then placed Hitomi's hand in Van's. "Love each other. The whole universe exists in this. Never cease such cherishing."
After a kiss on Van's cheek, Varie and Goau backed away. "Hitomi," Goau addressed her, "Your parents are happy in the afterlife. So let your heart rest. We will watch over you and we will protect Gaea from afar."
As soon as there was an infinitesimal thought in Van's mind of letting his parents go, they disappeared. But Folken remained where he was. He did not break the silence, but just looked at them. In his pellucid eyes, they comprehended that it is not evanescence which pervades the ephemeral world, but rather that there is a veil cast over all that is transcendent and endless. Such visitations from the shadowy dead is an unveiling of the mist which obscures the sensory realm from the eternal one.
Folken smiled. It was just a casual smile that one brother would give to another every night before going to bed. When Van smiled back, Folken was already gone.
Death survives, but so does life. Death becomes an assurance of man's continuity, the periods of humanity in his existence. It is a part of life, another dimension, another starting point for the same state of being. Death has no form and is boundless, but it nevertheless forms, with chance and mutability, the black circumference, the definite outline, of Eternity.
Van and Hitomi continued to look at the consecrated tombs. But they noticed that the wind did not resume its trail. Van turned around with a start and called out to the air. "You're there, aren't you, Aleph? Come out!" To Hitomi's surprise, the silver beard and snowy robe gradually became visible. Aleph stood every inch like a sagacious elder. The august holiness and severity he displayed on Serenus was replaced with a yielding kindness, like a grandfather.
Hitomi was the first to accost him. "Aleph, have you come to draw the final mark?"
"But there is no final mark, my child. It is never over. As you said, even the sun has a fate."
Van disliked his ominous tone. "What do you mean by that?"
"Any explanation I have to give you will be a mundane repetition of what you already know. I've come to show you that I've been here all along, and of course, I wanted to give you my blessings for your baby."
"Thank you then, but.can you please give us some kind of reassurance, so we know that the conclusions we came to by ourselves are not wrong?" Hitomi asked.
Aleph winked at her. "If you must have it, dear, then I shall tell you," he kept his hands behind his back and paced as if giving a lecture on morality. "As you've experienced, in that other potential past, Love and Freya, the Anima Mundi, transformed time and space. You have evoked their power, the true power of Atlantis."
"If this is the ideal past, then does it mean we'll have the ideal future?" Van interrupted with the vital question.
Aleph paused and patted Van's shoulder. "Don't forget, it is never over. As you know, most parts of the universe is cyclic, an endless process of separating and uniting, eternal death and eternal rebirth."
"But Love." Van and Hitomi nearly called out simultaneously.
"Ah, yes," Aleph raised a finger authoritatively. "Eternal Love cancels the cyclic futurity ruled by fate. Yes, it is true that you two have attained the transcendent force given by the Anima Mundi. There is you, but then, there is the rest of the universe," he glanced at them and Hitomi cast her eyes down. "Don't forget, just because you two are protected under the wings of Love, does not mean everyone else is also. I cannot tell you the reason. All I say is this, before you learn all the answers, you must help us bring forth the greater Love. Spread the Atlantis within. Teach your children to do the same."
"I understand," Hitomi said, "Personal love must expand to universal Love. That is what is eternal. We are but a part of it."
"Hitomi," Aleph touched her cheek, "My Iris, windows to the soul, I." to their amazement, even Aleph could find words insufficient. The Truth is beyond language. What the Anime Mundi taught them is imageless. The goddess herself is pure revelation, burning through what seems to hide her. She has no analogue in the world of senses, but she is undoubtedly a living presence, felt as surely as wind is felt.
Aleph walked away from them and into the trees. Before his departure, he turned and said, "By the way, Van, Valorick is a good name for the baby."
Nature once again infused the dell. The wind whistled and the birds sang. Van held Hitomi the same way he did five years ago, when they stood on the same spot. But back then they embraced for farewell, whereas now they prepared to hold each other in endless union.
Hitomi nudged her head against Van's chest. "You know, I really don't care about the unsolved mysteries right now."
"Me neither. But there is one thing I just thought of. Remember in the past life, after I died, Orion created Serenus with the help of a woman who claimed to have known me? Well, I think that woman was you."
"That's strange, I was just thinking about that too. Perhaps it was me. But even if I never know the truth, it's okay. I'm happy just being here. It was so good to see your parents, and Folken again. And even Aleph seemed so nice." She backed away and pulled his arms, swinging them in the air. "Before, home was always elsewhere for me. When I first came to Gaea, I thought home was on Earth. But when I was there, all I could think of was Fanelia and you. But now, for the first time, home is exactly where I am, at this moment, with you. Now I never have to miss some place so painfully. The concept of home is really the feeling have when I'm with you."
Van's crescent smile dissipated all his confusion. He went forth, picked Hitomi up and kissed her, with the same passion and freshness as when their lips first met in the crystal rain of Serenus. They held the Atlantis within, along with all the wisdom acquired during their perils, but all that receded for now, and they held only each other. Standing at the heart of the empyrean, their kiss reminded the world of an augury of Love, portending the permanence of an uncovered reality.
....
Even in the twelve-winded evening, the translucent sky diffused light. In times of loneliness and melancholy, we would think that the darkness is absolute, that it alone is durable. But in Reality, the dark itself is spurious, continually modified by the stars and the glares of day that seeped from the other side of the world. This light illumines our sky, and the sky that overarches this sky, and the one beyond.a boundless series of celestial domes. If this infinity took a physical form, it might be us, human beings whose very existence lend a glimpse into the stars, of which we are the fair and foul progeny. We share in the constants of the universe. Some things in us are necessarily absolute, not relative with time or chance.
Van and Hitomi walked into the ballroom, in their new formal attire, and saw infinity contained in their loved ones. The two kings had ordered a celebration of the numerous joys. Van was the last to enter, and he commenced the festivities by saying the simple truth, "Even if war should occur in the outside world, this inner peace is ours." He waved his hand and the band struck up the music.
There was a trio of violin, viola, and cello, accompanied by flutes and a piano. Hitomi thought if Love could have a sound, this is exactly what it would sound like. Melodious like the harmony of an angel choir, and soothing like the breeze plashed across the face. Its image is not the downward motion of "falling in love", but the upward ascent of "soaring with Love."
The ballroom was enlivened with laughter and exalted words. Orion ran around chasing Merle and Vianne, pumping into the waiters, while Selena tried to stop them like an anxious mother. Allen and Millerna were fully concentrated on their beautiful son, who babbled in baby talk. Duke Chid sat in the corner with Nestor, and the two found much philosophical topics to discuss. Other ladies and lords, some soldiers and the crew of the Crusade, all mingled in the crowd. Couples filled the dance floor, and children flocked to the food plates.
Van and Hitomi made their way through the people who incessantly gave them blessings and congratulations. They crossed the room and went onto the balcony. A view of the constellation of Orion hung mystically near the orb that is Hitomi's old home. Van called Nestor outside and asked him what that constellation is called on Gaea.
The old advisor took off his spectacles and gazed studiously into the sky. "Ah, yes, Your Majesty, the three belt stars. Yes, we call it the 'Tears of Time'. You see, the whole constellation looks like an hour glass, and the belt in the middle represents the passage of time. The three stars separately are called Past, Present and Future. Quite intriguing. There is a myth behind this but I cannot recall it at this moment. If you'd like, Milord, I can go research right now."
"That won't be necessary, Nestor. Thank you. You can go enjoy the party now." The old man bowed and smiled at the formidable young king whom he loved as his own grandson. He then hurried back to Duke Chid.
"The 'Tears of Time'.I like that." Van wrapped his arms around Hitomi's entire waist.
"It sounds so hopeful," she leaned on him securely. She held out her hand and admired the ring. "I love this green, it's so soothing. They say the universe is green too, you know."
"Really? Like your eyes? Like Fanelia?"
She pinched his cheek. "Yes, silly boy."
They ruminated on the view, and let the zephyr sweep all dust from the path of their starry vision. White petals were blown from some April blossom, and Hitomi reached out her palm to received the pieces of snow. The rustling of trees which Van so loves was there also, and it heralded that time is crying.
The sound of happiness came from the ballroom behind them. They also heard the intensified sound of the mysteries of past and future. But that too, would be behind them. Death is in the air, but not fear and sorrow, because a compromise had been made between destiny and Love.
Ever since Dornkirk, Van and Hitomi had ceased to believe in predetermined fate. Their Love rises above fate or destiny. To say there is a predetermined lover is to bargain with God for inevitable happiness. But they did not need a prearranged meeting with Eros - they can see him directly. Destiny is a thing for mortals without immortality, and thus true Love has nothing to do with it. Destiny is imprisoned by time, because it places Love within a specific point in life when two pairs of enamored eyes meet across the room. People say that life begins then. But the truth is, Love should always have existed, it does not begin on one fine day. It is wrong to say Hitomi journeyed through many loves before she reached Van, because her soul never really left him. She dreamt of Love and did not know she was dreaming of him. But once she had the revelation of Love, the vision of Eros, she begins and ends in him, as he does in her. Their Love just is. It is the ultimate "to be", with no sequence, no bounds. It is not so much Eternity in a moment as it is a moment in Eternity.
Van suddenly bent down and placed an ear against Hitomi's stomach.
"What are you doing?" she laughed. "The baby's only a month old. You won't be able to hear anything."
"No, wait.I think I hear him. He sounds like.like the sky, or like the fluttering of wings," Van kissed his unborn child. "In here is a world we've created."
Van could not deny the lingering fear in his heart that Valorick may grow up and one day face war and pain. But he holds a pillar-strong faith that even if tragedy comes again, they can surmount it again. Hope exists despite fulfillment.
The background music from the ballroom played in symphonic unison with the wind, announcing wisdom attained, Love regained. Favonius, god of the west wind, led an Aeolian parade that came to Fanelia, and lined up in front of the castle, forming a passage to infinity. The Aeolian spirits looked upon the king and queen as if upon Eros and Psyche. Van and Hitomi dreamt of a greater Love, a Love more mysterious and immense than their own empyrean existence. The music ceased for a second, and they saw the whispering gust that carried away trains of snow petals up towards the birthplace of worlds to come.
~ End of Part XIII & Book One: Gaea Regained ~
~ Beginning of Book Two: Gaea Rising ~
AHHHHH! Can't believe I finished it!!!!! I know, I know this chapter was a little dull, but I wrote it for my own indulgence (some parts of it are autobiographical). Sorry for the slackening of BRI writing - I'm currently working under poor conditions, but I tried my best. Yep, I'm bound to get some bad reviews;( But anyways, I really enjoyed giving Van and Hitomi the ending they deserve - of course, this is only book one, so the real ending is different. After writing this, I totally feel this sense of loss, the same thing I felt when I watched the last episode of the series *weep* I really hope you will tune in to "Interlude: Book of Aeons", which has a bunch of letters and diaries written by the characters themselves. About Book Two, a huge part of the story line is pretty vague, so I have to wait. If you're really anxious, then I thank you and apologize before hand. I have to see if Book One does well on fanfic.net, if not, then I guess it's bye-bye. Of course, if I have the story, I will still continue writing for my few devoted fans. At this midway point in "Both are Infinite", I take a bow to you, dear Reader, for traveling this exciting journey with me! The story has meant my life to me during these past months, and you made it possible for me to write, so thank you;)
Notes and Points of Interest: As far as I know, all the astronomical references in the last 3 chapters are scientifically correct. Of course some are only theoretical. For example, the thing about the universe being green is currently only a speculation. Some scientists did a spectral scan of the universe from the beginning till now and realized that it was once blue, now green and it will someday be red (because of decreasing temperature). The whole thing about starlight coming from the past sounds incredible, but it is very real. There's a lot more cool stuff like this, if you're interested, check up some site on Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Btw, everything about Orion and the Egyptians is true. The main questions left unanswered are: the dragon and phoenix; the prophecy Hitomi read from the scroll Aleph gave her (from Ch.5), and Hitomi's role in Van's past. I think these three are the only unsolved mysteries. If I've forgotten any, please tell me right away. Of course, all the riddles will be unraveled in Book Two!