Disclaimer: All Detective Conan characters belong to Gosho Aoyama. Not me.

Author's Note: Why am I writing ff? I have no idea. And why am I updating it then? Don't ask. Oh yeah, sorry for the delay. Have been catching up on some of the ficcies here. Nice nice. ^^ Regarding questions about the timeline, this is set after the Mermaid Island case, but before the 4th movie -- IF that's at all possible. It's canon that Kid knows, but how exactly did he find out? It's still out there...

Illusion:Reality

If only, reflected Conan, gripping Ran's index finger tightly as the Mystery Coaster begun its descent. If only things had been different from the start. If only I had never followed the suspicious black-clad men. If only I had been more careful. He sighed.

Seeing Kuroba Kaito and Nakamori Aoko together had shaken up his kiddie-sized world. The childhood friendship, the frequent fighting, the way they sneaked looks at each other -- all hauntingly similar to the bond he shared with Ran. Unknowingly, bit by bit, he realized that he had settled into his pint-sized body, just as he had settled into his new identity as Conan. Before, he was Kudo Shinichi, struggling to squeeze himself into a little boy's frame; now, he was turning into Edogawa Conan, the little boy that wanted to be a tantei when he grew up, just like his Shinichi-niichan. Conan was never meant to be; a borrowed name, a borrowed life.

And yet.

And yet the antidote was still nonexistent. He'd never heard any reports of progress from Ai. It could be tomorrow, it could be ten years -- and I don't think it's tomorrow.

And yet the Conan inside him was content. During his second childhood, he enjoyed thoroughly exploring the roads not taken. He had friends, he had a family -- heck, I have a life. Only now did he treasure life, living it to the fullest. He remembered dragging his Ran-neechan out of bed at dawn to watch the sun rise, his pride when finally defeating Genta at the arcade, camping out late at night with the gang to catch fireflies... the little detective had seen facets of life that Shinichi never knew existed. He'd always thought of his time as Conan as an enforced vacation that would end when the antidote was found. It had never occured to him that he could make it a one-way trip. Before this.

One by one, he saw the lights on the rides and stalls blink on, preparing to greet the setting sun's wake of night.

Perhaps - perhaps it's best for us all that I put Shinichi to rest. For good.

If anyone noticed one small passenger not joining in the screaming as the Coaster plunged downwards, they would've thought he was too scared to make a sound.

----

"Ne, Heiji, it's already too late for you to start for home, why don't you and Kazuha spend the night at our place?"

"Um, sure, why not?" Heiji was quick to accept.

Hattori doesn't accept invitations that eagerly. And he's been wasting time on purpose since the coaster ride. He planned on staying. Letting go of Ran's wrist, Conan slowed his pace and shot him a questioning look behind her back. Heiji barely met his eyes before flicking them towards Kaito and Aoko, who were trying to navigate the small group through the chaos while bickering over who should hold the map. They look pretty occupied to me. If he's that paranoid, it must be a case.

For once in his life, even the prospect of a new case couldn't cheer the little detective up. Lagging behind the group now and making no attempt to keep up, he idly flicked up a discarded soft drink can with the tip of his sneaker and tapped the underside gently, sending it flying gracefully into a nearby trash can. Satisfied with his work, he hurried to catch up.

He found them just as Aoko did the customary watch-check and exclamation of surprise. The night had indeed dragged on -- thanks to that time-wasting baka -- and it was time for goodbyes.

 "Oh yeah, one moment," Heiji produced a small box full of cards. Business cards? Hmph. The nerve. Still, Conan managed to snag one, scribble 'Edogawa Conan, meitantei' and the number for the Mouri Detective Agency on the back, and pass it to Kaito. Not wanting to be outdone, Kaito whipped out four aces from thin air, his name and number neatly printed on each one. Note to self: never play for keeps with this guy. Apparently Kaito, just warming up after performing his first trick of the day, had many more up his sleeve, but with time -- and Aoko -- not permitting, he had to settle for being dragged away amidst sweatdrops. Too bad Haibara's not here, she could run some tests on him -- if anything can reverse growing up, its inside him for sure.

----

True to its name, Sunday morning was bright and sunny. A perfect day for sleeping in. A not-so-perfect day for waking Heiji up. Ran, Kazuha and Conan had all but given up. Even deprived of his blankets, having insults yelled into his ear, and sporting a pair of ribboned braids (respectively), he was still dead to the world. Finally deciding that he could hibernate until spring for all they cared, breakfast was just about done when Heiji finally awoke.

"Konnichiwa! So, did anyone miss-" he stopped short. It probably had something to do with the headlock.

"Aho! I had wanted to go for a walk in the morning and now it's too hot to go outside!" roared Kazuha, increasing pressure on the gasping, half-awake Heiji.

"I think you'd better let go soon or we'll have to drag his body somewhere to hide!" chirped Conan brightly. Not that he doesn't deserve it, of course. Squirm, Hattori, squirm.

----

"Ne, Hattori, what is it?" The two detectives had escaped to the Kudo residence on the pretext of getting some of Shinichi's clothes for Heiji. I won't be needing them anytime soon anyway.

"What's what?" Heiji had his head in one of Shinichi's wardrobes. "Hey, don't you even have one pair of jeans?"

"What you stayed overnight to tell me. And I don't wear jeans."

"I like jeans."

"Hattori..."

"Okay, okay, y'know that time when you all were on the roller coaster last night? I was sitting way behind you guys, and for a moment, I saw you. You were thinking about something." Getting nothing but silence from Conan, Heiji continued: "And y'know, I've seen that expression only once before in my life."

Instinctively noticing the change in speech pattern, Conan stopped rummaging through his old stuff. Better listen.  "And?"

Heiji seemed to find the dark recesses of the closet very interesting indeed. "Well, y'know that time at that island with that mermaid case?"

That time. Hattori didn't solve the case, he wasn't even near...so it must be...

"Yeah, well I didn't think it was such a hot idea then," Heiji could see that Conan understood. "I mean, you may think you have a right to do it, but knowing her, she won't let go, will she? It will only cause...unnecessary pain..." Heiji drew the hand in question out of his pocket, examining the still-healing scar. "Aho..." He shook his head, smiling to himself.

"Well, Hattori, I- Oi, Hattori!" getting no answer from the Great Detective of the West, who by now was a million miles away, Conan strode out of the room. "I'll just tell Kazuha you fell off the balcony or something and watch her weep tears of joy."

"Hey!"

"Ow!"

"You deserved it.  C'mon, let's get back."

As they passed a window, Conan felt the tingling of a cold breeze just sneaking through the cracks, carrying with it a whisper of a memory he'd forgotten he had.

****

"Whatcha doing up so late, Ran-neechan?"

"Hm?" Ran was in sitting by the window, resting her face on her folded arms, looking up at the night sky, her face serene.

"It's -" Conan checked his watch, " -almost three in the morning."

"I'm waiting up for a shooting star, Conan-kun. People say if you wish on a shooting star, your wish will come true, ne?"

"What's your wish then, Ran-neechan?" Conan was glad the darkness hid the scarlet colouring his face.

Ran just smiled, but the hint of a blush tinging her cheeks told him all he needed to know.

****

Conan didn't know what compelled him to throw open the window, inviting in the frigid burst of cool air. He's right, though. I don't really want to admit it, but he's right. Conan let out a sigh, releasing -- it felt like years -- of tension, of cobwebs residing in the dark corners of his mind, as if the wind had swept them all away. Unconsciously, he felt that he'd known this all along, that he'd only been fooling himself, that it didn't do any good to run away from his problems. If she will wait for me, the least I can do is have some part of me left for her to wait for.

"You done? Let's go already."

They were just out the front door when Heiji paused.

"Hmm."

"What is it now, Hattori?"

"There was something I meant to tell you, but I forgot...its about Kazuha, no, it's about Tropical Land...um..." Heiji racked his brain, trying to recapture his train of thought without success. "Ah, never mind, it'll come to me later."

He would never ever recall the thought: When noting the sombre resignation in Conan's expression that day in Tropical Land, he couldn't help noticing that Kaito -- one seat in front -- had exactly the same look on his face...

Of course, when they finally got back, it was apparent that they had forgotten the clothes too...

Post-fic A/N: Language is a little awkward. Thanks for the wake-up call guys. There are only 2 ways to get me to update: incessant bugging or too much free time. First day of hols tomorrow. ^^ After I've updated this, will be straight off with my gang of bakas in search of manly pursuits: Finding Nemo, pool/snooker and CS. Seeya!