Back Before Dawn
by Annakovsky
Part 10/12
See part 1 for disclaimer, rating, etc.
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Anya: 9:18 am, Wednesday, February 19, 2003
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This is so typical. I'm gone for twenty-four hours to go visit some of my old demon friends and see if I could find out any information on the First, and everything goes to hell while I'm gone.
Well, that wasn't really what I was doing. Sometimes I just have to get away from all of them, so I invent something about finding out about the First from my "demon contacts" and then go drink large quantities of alcohol. You can't blame me. It's really very unpleasant to be stuck in a medium-sized house with what seems like an unlimited supply of people (I think the Potentials must be reproducing somehow. Maybe asexually, like one-celled organisms. It certainly seems like their brains are one-celled.) – what was I saying? Oh yes, being stuck in a medium sized house with thousands of people, including all your ex-fiancé's friends who never liked you in the first place and with the additional bonus of your ex hanging around all the time pretending he's fixing things.
Those aren't the only awkward relationships, either. Everyone who lives here is always either having sex with each other or trying to kill each other. It's very primal, really. I personally have had sex with both Xander and Spike, and Willow and Buffy have both tried to kill me. And I've kissed Giles – we were under a spell at the time, but it's not like we've forgotten about it since then. (You might not expect it, but Giles is a very good kisser.) Unless you pay very close attention, you can easily lose track of who's trying to kill who or who's sleeping with who at any given moment. Of course, some people are allowed to try to kill other people and some people aren't. Last year Willow destroyed my livelihood, said very mean things, tried to kill all of us and destroy the world, but she got to come back like everything was fine and dandy. Whereas when I just killed a few frat guys who almost deserved it, Buffy went after me with a sword without even talking to me about it beforehand. Little Miss I-Am-The-Law-Except-When-I-Like-The-Person-Who's-Doing-The-Killing-In-Which-Case-I'm-Willing-To-Overlook-It.
I mean, honestly. As a vengeance demon, I only hurt people when they'd done something to deserve it. How come I'm not allowed to be the law? Why is it all right for Buffy to kill whoever's doing things she doesn't like, but if I do that, suddenly I'm the enemy? It's completely arbitrary.
Oh yes, Buffy this, Buffy that, Buffy's so great, we have to go help Buffy, Buffy's a superhero, Buffy deserves our worship and adoration, if I could be marrying Buffy God knows I would so don't get too excited, actual fiancée, you know you're only second best. Well, third best, after Willow.
I don't understand it. Neither of them love him as much as he loves them. They both turned him down – Buffy flat out, and then Willow didn't exactly run to leave Oz for him, did she? But his whole life revolves around them, and half the time I don't think they even remember that he's there.
I loved him. I hung around fighting apocalypses for him, even though it would have made much more sense just to leave town. I would have born him fat babies and grown old with him and loved him until we both got wrinkly and incontinent.
Stupid Xander. Stupid love. None of it makes sense. Everyone should love each other equal amounts - that would make sense - instead of all walking around loving other people more than they love us back.
The worst part is that I think I'm the only one who doesn't have anyone loving me more than I love them. Well, me and Spike, maybe. But Buffy - everyone loves her more than she loves them back. It's not fair. All she does is whine about how hard it is to be the Slayer and how lonely it is, while she has everyone loving her all the time, even when she doesn't deserve it. The rest of us don't complain, even though she sucks up all the love in the room and doesn't leave any for the rest of us. Doesn't she know that everyone's lonely?
Anyway, when I got back to Buffy's house, or the "House of Extreme Aggravation and Not Enough Bathrooms," as I like to call it, everything was all in an uproar. I thought someone must have tried to kill someone else or have slept with someone inappropriate again and got worried that it was Xander. But as soon as I came in the door, Andrew came running to meet me, babbling something about a vengeance demon and alternate realities and God knows what all else, so it wasn't that. Everyone seemed to be having a little pow-wow in the dining room, where Willow was holding up her end of the babble fest, talking about Giles having a baby and some such thing. I couldn't follow it at first, until finally she noticed I was there.
"Anya! Where have you been?" Willow said, all energetic and big-eyed, like it was my fault that I was away when she had her huge revelation or whatever it was. "I was looking all over for you! You have to help explain this!" And then she launched into this wild story about how all this was an alternate reality where everything was horrible, and in the reality where she had come from, everything was idyllic and happy. Well, frankly, I thought she must have been hitting the magic bong a little too hard, but everyone seemed to be taking her seriously, brandishing some kind of child's toy like it were a crucial part of the story.
"Slow down, slow down," I said. "So you're saying that a vengeance demon did all this? Who? Gwertan? Iliammar?"
"I don't know, he said his name was Joey," Willow said.
"Joey?"
"Yeah, do you know him? He's down in the basement right now. See, I wished and he created this whole alternate reality, like that one you created that one time where I was a vampire and everything!"
"Hmmm…," I said. "Well, I'll go down and talk to him. But first clear some things up for me. So in this alternate, happy reality, did Xander not leave me at the altar?" Willow looked uncomfortable.
"Uh… sorry, no, he kinda… did." I hit Xander on the shoulder, hard.
"So you're a jackass even in happy realities?" I said to him.
"Ow!" he said. He always was a sissy boy about getting hit. "I said I was sorry, now do you want me to apologize for things an alternate me did in an alternate universe?"
"Yes!"
"No!" Xander said. He's so stubborn. I don't know why I ever agreed to marry him in the first place.
"Um, Anya? Would you like to see this 'Joey', now?" asked Giles, polishing his glasses.
"Oh, I suppose so," I said. They all trooped down to the basement with me, because clearly I need an audience of hundreds for this kind of interrogation.
A really short vengeance demon was chained up in Spike's old manacles, and I recognized him instantly. Rijomar. Never liked him. Always a little too brash and cocky for my tastes - barely 600 years old and thought he knew everything. He always acted like he was better than everybody, and was especially rude after I got my powers taken away. I was glad when I heard he was on probation – maybe that will teach him a lesson.
"Rijomar," I said.
"Anyanka," he said.
"So I gather Willow made a reckless wish and you granted it?" I said.
"That's what we vengeance demons do, if you've forgotten," he said. Hasn't lost his sense of uppity-ness, anyway.
"What did you do, exactly?"
"Well, Willow wished Buffy wasn't an only child. So I kicked Glory out of her dimension and got Dawn created. Genius, really. A wish of legendary proportions. So if you'll just unchain me, I'll be on my way. Enjoy your new reality!" I glanced over at Dawn, who was looking very shaken. Xander had his arm around her.
"And you changed all my memories too?" I said, annoyed. "Honestly, that's just plain rude."
"Hey, you're human now and friends with the Slayer," he said.
"Well, that's one way to put it," I muttered.
"I couldn't very well grant the wish without affecting you," he continued. "But I do still have some professional courtesy, Anyanka. I did all I could to keep your personal life as unchanged as possible."
"Yeah, thanks a lot! So even if we get this great, pain-free reality back I still got left at the altar?" Rijomar shrugged.
"I thought you'd be pleased," he said, not looking like he thought I'd be pleased at all. I rolled my eyes. Giles sighed loudly. I could tell that he was polishing his glasses again without even looking.
"Have we established all we need to? That this Rijomar is in fact a vengeance demon and Willow is telling the truth? Anya?"
"Yes, we're done here," I said, glaring at Rij. He glared back. "Are those manacles on tight enough?" I asked. "Maybe we should cinch them up a notch. They don't really look like they're cutting into his wrists at all." He glared at me even harder. Everyone else just rolled their eyes at me, grumbling as they headed up the basement stairs.
by Annakovsky
Part 10/12
See part 1 for disclaimer, rating, etc.
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Anya: 9:18 am, Wednesday, February 19, 2003
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This is so typical. I'm gone for twenty-four hours to go visit some of my old demon friends and see if I could find out any information on the First, and everything goes to hell while I'm gone.
Well, that wasn't really what I was doing. Sometimes I just have to get away from all of them, so I invent something about finding out about the First from my "demon contacts" and then go drink large quantities of alcohol. You can't blame me. It's really very unpleasant to be stuck in a medium-sized house with what seems like an unlimited supply of people (I think the Potentials must be reproducing somehow. Maybe asexually, like one-celled organisms. It certainly seems like their brains are one-celled.) – what was I saying? Oh yes, being stuck in a medium sized house with thousands of people, including all your ex-fiancé's friends who never liked you in the first place and with the additional bonus of your ex hanging around all the time pretending he's fixing things.
Those aren't the only awkward relationships, either. Everyone who lives here is always either having sex with each other or trying to kill each other. It's very primal, really. I personally have had sex with both Xander and Spike, and Willow and Buffy have both tried to kill me. And I've kissed Giles – we were under a spell at the time, but it's not like we've forgotten about it since then. (You might not expect it, but Giles is a very good kisser.) Unless you pay very close attention, you can easily lose track of who's trying to kill who or who's sleeping with who at any given moment. Of course, some people are allowed to try to kill other people and some people aren't. Last year Willow destroyed my livelihood, said very mean things, tried to kill all of us and destroy the world, but she got to come back like everything was fine and dandy. Whereas when I just killed a few frat guys who almost deserved it, Buffy went after me with a sword without even talking to me about it beforehand. Little Miss I-Am-The-Law-Except-When-I-Like-The-Person-Who's-Doing-The-Killing-In-Which-Case-I'm-Willing-To-Overlook-It.
I mean, honestly. As a vengeance demon, I only hurt people when they'd done something to deserve it. How come I'm not allowed to be the law? Why is it all right for Buffy to kill whoever's doing things she doesn't like, but if I do that, suddenly I'm the enemy? It's completely arbitrary.
Oh yes, Buffy this, Buffy that, Buffy's so great, we have to go help Buffy, Buffy's a superhero, Buffy deserves our worship and adoration, if I could be marrying Buffy God knows I would so don't get too excited, actual fiancée, you know you're only second best. Well, third best, after Willow.
I don't understand it. Neither of them love him as much as he loves them. They both turned him down – Buffy flat out, and then Willow didn't exactly run to leave Oz for him, did she? But his whole life revolves around them, and half the time I don't think they even remember that he's there.
I loved him. I hung around fighting apocalypses for him, even though it would have made much more sense just to leave town. I would have born him fat babies and grown old with him and loved him until we both got wrinkly and incontinent.
Stupid Xander. Stupid love. None of it makes sense. Everyone should love each other equal amounts - that would make sense - instead of all walking around loving other people more than they love us back.
The worst part is that I think I'm the only one who doesn't have anyone loving me more than I love them. Well, me and Spike, maybe. But Buffy - everyone loves her more than she loves them back. It's not fair. All she does is whine about how hard it is to be the Slayer and how lonely it is, while she has everyone loving her all the time, even when she doesn't deserve it. The rest of us don't complain, even though she sucks up all the love in the room and doesn't leave any for the rest of us. Doesn't she know that everyone's lonely?
Anyway, when I got back to Buffy's house, or the "House of Extreme Aggravation and Not Enough Bathrooms," as I like to call it, everything was all in an uproar. I thought someone must have tried to kill someone else or have slept with someone inappropriate again and got worried that it was Xander. But as soon as I came in the door, Andrew came running to meet me, babbling something about a vengeance demon and alternate realities and God knows what all else, so it wasn't that. Everyone seemed to be having a little pow-wow in the dining room, where Willow was holding up her end of the babble fest, talking about Giles having a baby and some such thing. I couldn't follow it at first, until finally she noticed I was there.
"Anya! Where have you been?" Willow said, all energetic and big-eyed, like it was my fault that I was away when she had her huge revelation or whatever it was. "I was looking all over for you! You have to help explain this!" And then she launched into this wild story about how all this was an alternate reality where everything was horrible, and in the reality where she had come from, everything was idyllic and happy. Well, frankly, I thought she must have been hitting the magic bong a little too hard, but everyone seemed to be taking her seriously, brandishing some kind of child's toy like it were a crucial part of the story.
"Slow down, slow down," I said. "So you're saying that a vengeance demon did all this? Who? Gwertan? Iliammar?"
"I don't know, he said his name was Joey," Willow said.
"Joey?"
"Yeah, do you know him? He's down in the basement right now. See, I wished and he created this whole alternate reality, like that one you created that one time where I was a vampire and everything!"
"Hmmm…," I said. "Well, I'll go down and talk to him. But first clear some things up for me. So in this alternate, happy reality, did Xander not leave me at the altar?" Willow looked uncomfortable.
"Uh… sorry, no, he kinda… did." I hit Xander on the shoulder, hard.
"So you're a jackass even in happy realities?" I said to him.
"Ow!" he said. He always was a sissy boy about getting hit. "I said I was sorry, now do you want me to apologize for things an alternate me did in an alternate universe?"
"Yes!"
"No!" Xander said. He's so stubborn. I don't know why I ever agreed to marry him in the first place.
"Um, Anya? Would you like to see this 'Joey', now?" asked Giles, polishing his glasses.
"Oh, I suppose so," I said. They all trooped down to the basement with me, because clearly I need an audience of hundreds for this kind of interrogation.
A really short vengeance demon was chained up in Spike's old manacles, and I recognized him instantly. Rijomar. Never liked him. Always a little too brash and cocky for my tastes - barely 600 years old and thought he knew everything. He always acted like he was better than everybody, and was especially rude after I got my powers taken away. I was glad when I heard he was on probation – maybe that will teach him a lesson.
"Rijomar," I said.
"Anyanka," he said.
"So I gather Willow made a reckless wish and you granted it?" I said.
"That's what we vengeance demons do, if you've forgotten," he said. Hasn't lost his sense of uppity-ness, anyway.
"What did you do, exactly?"
"Well, Willow wished Buffy wasn't an only child. So I kicked Glory out of her dimension and got Dawn created. Genius, really. A wish of legendary proportions. So if you'll just unchain me, I'll be on my way. Enjoy your new reality!" I glanced over at Dawn, who was looking very shaken. Xander had his arm around her.
"And you changed all my memories too?" I said, annoyed. "Honestly, that's just plain rude."
"Hey, you're human now and friends with the Slayer," he said.
"Well, that's one way to put it," I muttered.
"I couldn't very well grant the wish without affecting you," he continued. "But I do still have some professional courtesy, Anyanka. I did all I could to keep your personal life as unchanged as possible."
"Yeah, thanks a lot! So even if we get this great, pain-free reality back I still got left at the altar?" Rijomar shrugged.
"I thought you'd be pleased," he said, not looking like he thought I'd be pleased at all. I rolled my eyes. Giles sighed loudly. I could tell that he was polishing his glasses again without even looking.
"Have we established all we need to? That this Rijomar is in fact a vengeance demon and Willow is telling the truth? Anya?"
"Yes, we're done here," I said, glaring at Rij. He glared back. "Are those manacles on tight enough?" I asked. "Maybe we should cinch them up a notch. They don't really look like they're cutting into his wrists at all." He glared at me even harder. Everyone else just rolled their eyes at me, grumbling as they headed up the basement stairs.