Oh wow…the reviews I got were wonderful…and so many…*teary eyed* excuse me while I go find a tissue…*sniffles*. Yes, it was a bit angsty, but I wanted to try something new…I thought it wasn't all that, but according to y'all, don't worry, I'm not a hick, it was all that *and* a bag of chips!!!!!
Still figuring on what direction this story is going to take.
Will be updated whenever I get the inspiration to write another chapter.
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Oh, by the way, I don't usually know what direction the story is going, and if I do plan it out ahead of time, it ends up like crap -_-u.
I have decided to continue, and expect more quotes from my favorite books! Or at least from the ones that I am reading…
By the way, shame on you if you haven't read The Invisible Man…it's a good book; I'm almost finished!!!! Will be by the time this is posted…
This time, it's Yami's turn…*cackles evilly*
A/N: I am not responsible if anyone vomits during the course of this chapter.
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Don't stay / Forget our memories / Forget our possibilities / What you were changing me into / [Just give me back myself and] / Don't stay / Forget our memories / Forget our possibilities / Take all your faithlessness with you / [Just give me back myself and] / Don't stay…
- Don't Stay, Meteora, Linkin Park
That song suits Yuugi…at least, it describes what he has been going through.
I heard Yuugi last night. Yuugi, my aibou. When was the last time I had spoken to him? When had I last held him, comforted him during a storm, rocked him to sleep?
Of course, writing these thoughts is contradicts everything Yuugi says about me. And how do I know that? I can hear his thoughts. Of course not very well, since it is a 'wisp of smoke' as my aibou puts it, but enough to know what his basic thoughts are. Not his secrets, of course. Our bond has almost been depleted.
But last night he said that he was invisible…
When had he become invisible? The more I think about it, the more sense it makes.
I have been ignoring him for the longest time…
But I've tried!!! I really have tried!!!!! Do you think I enjoy being this distant from my aibou?!?! I don't!!!! And I'll be damned if he does!!!!!
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Growling with a furry, Yami aims a blast of his shadow magic to the closest object near him; a picture of Anzu in a cheaply bought frame.
The shards fell to the ground, a slight tinkling sound brought forth. They glowed slightly in the soft light of the lamp, rainbows dancing wherever the light reflected.
Looking down, a faint trace of sadness marred his soul, the rest a strange sort of satisfaction.
He went back to his journal.
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But then again, haven't I been damned?
I have gone months without a thought of my aibou…when I see him in the hall at school, I barely recognize him.
It's as if I am walking through a dream, and nothing is wrong.
And then I get home.
And I drown in the pain and sorrow that washes up to greet me.
Only here do I awake from my dream, only here do I realize that my aibou exists.
Perhaps he is invisible. Maybe if I never return home, he will fade away into nothingness, until I return home.
But I am afraid.
That's right. The almighty Pharaoh of Kemet (Ancient Egypt) is scared of a little boy. Of the feelings he stirs up whenever I pass him.
That I could return one day and he would no longer exist.
Of the sorrow, regret, anger, pity, fear, and even something else that I have yet to figure out, that hits me like a giant wave when I enter his room.
I tired last night. I saw him cowering under his blankets, trying to hide, become even more invisible.
And I entered.
Five seconds later, it hit me in the stomach, a wave of emotions so strong I almost passed out.
I stumbled out, gasping. And I think, why can't I enter without great emotional pain?!
And then I hear him crying when I reach my room.
It breaks my heart to hear him cry. And I want to help him!!!! I want to hold him, sooth him, help him!!!!! And can I? NO!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!
We used to be so close before…
Aibou and I were inseparable. We spent all of our time together. At night I would hold him close, relishing his warmth. Of course, this was before I had a body. I was always in my spirit form.
Then came the fateful day when I got my body. Yuugi was about to fall off of the stairs, a cement floor awaiting his arrival.
And there I was, holding him. I had my own body.
Yuugi has forgotten this. He has forgotten everything that happened before my 'rebirth'.
Of course, his friends were excited, always asking the both of us to go places; the arcades, movies, Burger World…then it became just me, aibou home alone.
I was happy then, being able to move around freely. And aibou said he didn't mind me going; that he was happy for me.
As time passed, I developed feelings for Anzu. The way her eyes sparkled, how her hair flew in the breeze, how she danced…I thought she was perfect.
And she still is, in some ways. Sure she has her quirks, and she is a bit annoying, but I loved her for that. She made me whole. But there was always that little open space where nothing fit.
I was not whole, nor would I ever be unless I could fill it.
I had asked her out one day when it was just the two of us. Her eyes shone, a huge grin plastered on her face. My own heart swelled with pride.
Now, the love is still there, but it is fading away…Everyday I am less and less excited to see her…I fear that I would forget her and drift away.
No. I would not let that happen. We were meant to be together, regardless of what was happening now.
But back to my aibou.
After I had started seeing Anzu, I began to spend more time with her than with aibou.
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I need a little break…I hate what I'm, writing right now…I think I'm sick….
Remember, this is a Yuugi/Yami fic, not Anzu/Yami. Yuugi/Yami forever!!!!
Ugh, I hate myself. I'm not pure!!!! Ra, have mercy on my soul for writing this!!!!!!!
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Do I regret that time spent with her? In some ways, I do. But I will never regret the fact that I am with Anzu. I love her with all my being.
But Aibou…what about him? Even thinking about him pains me. My heart aches and I am overcome with a feeling that is vaguely familiar. What, though, I do not know.
And yet, I want to hold him, wipe his tears away, and bring him back into the world of the visible.
Why do I feel so strongly about my aibou…there are thoughts that I have had about him that I would not write in you.
But why do I feel this way about someone that I have almost no contact with?
I remember when I was floating in an eternal darkness, and Yuugi solved the puzzle. Light had washed over me, releasing me from my prison.
Beautiful had flashed in my mind when I saw him, my aibou.
I need to mull over what I just wrote…
Owarii, for now…
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Yami shut his journal, and placed it next to his bed.
Maybe tonight I will be able to enter his room…
Swinging his feet over his bed, Yami made his way down the dark hall, gliding over the carpeted floor.
He hesitated when he reached Yuugi's door. Cautiously, he checked their fading link to see if his aibou was asleep. He was. Good.
Inhaling deeply, he placed a foot inside, and nothing happened.
Releasing his breath, unaware that he had been holding it in, he smiled, and came inside fully.
Then it hit him. It was stronger than before by tenfold. Anger, pain, sorrow, regret, shame, loneliness, a sense of being lost, all hit him at once. His eyes widened dramatically in surprise, sending him reeling backward. It was almost as if…
Something doesn't want me to enter…but why?! And who, or what!?
Turning heel, the spirit stalked back to his room.
Unbeknownst to him, the angelic figure beneath he blankets had been awake, but since the link had faded almost completely, faking that he was asleep was far too easy.
O, if only he knew the reason why Yami could not enter his room.
Once more, tears blurred his vision, threatening to spill.
Why must you leave me Yami? Do you not want me around anymore? Why do you enter my room and then lave as though you are disgusted by my presence? Why damn it, why!?!?!?
Again, sobs racked his small frame, and once more, they were heard by the spirit of darkness down the hall.
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So, I have another chappie out!!! Yay! 5 pages!!! Ok, so it's not much, but It's all I can write. The next chappie might not have a journal entry, but we'll see. Literally. I have no F**ing clue on how it's going to turn out. I don't even know what the next chapter's going to be like!!!!
So review, and we'll see what happens. Remember – my life sucks. I live in the Bay Area, and that Sors thingy is going around, the one from China, and I really don't feel like having my lungs collapse…I just *have* to live in California right now…I'm not complaining, I just don't want to die.
Jaa! And review!!!