Chapter 21
When they had gone a safe distance, the barge stopped again and they pulled the iron coffin to the center of the
deck. Wesley hung back, as did Connor, as one of the divers lit an acetylene torch. Gunn opened the cooler of
blood and stood near the man who was cutting open Angel's prison.
Angel was still. He looked cold and pale, like a corpse pulled from a grave. This wasn't far from the truth, as he
lay unconscious in tattered clothing in what was meant to be his coffin.
His eyes opened as the first drops of blood hit his face. He growled and grabbed for Gunn, but Fred was there
holding a cross. He released the young black man, retreating with a feral growl and began feeding ravenously on
the proffered nourishment.
He was drinking the third packet when he blinked and began to warily look around, taking in his surroundings.
He saw Wesley standing behind Connor, with his hand on the boy's shoulder and began to lunge for him. He was
stopped by another cross and Willow sharply calling his name.
"Angel!" Willow cried out, and the vampire felt himself thrown back against the deck at the force of her
command.
He took a deep breath, in an eerie parody of human turned predator, and relaxed. Angel flexed his muscles
slowly, but unthreateningly. He listened and heard their heartbeats, smelled the fear and nervousness. He
registered that Gunn was there, and Fred, and Willow. Wesley and Connor were there, but he sensed no threat,
only concern.
After so much time of being deprived of his senses, of companionship, he was having difficulty reconciling reality.
His mind was still filled of images of the nightmares that plagued him, of Wesley's betrayal, of Connor. Holtz and
Darla and Buffy and all those he had failed were there, haunting his endless moments where he had no
distraction from his thoughts. Except there was one. The soothing sweet voice must have been a dream as well,
but it wasn't. She had been there with him. Somehow, in some way, Cordelia had been there and kept him sane.
She kept reminding him that he would be saved and that she loved him.
He met Wesley's eyes and the ex-watcher stood his ground and looked back unabashedly. Angel gave a slight
nod in acknowledgement and stood. He held his hands out slightly from his body in a non-threatening posture.
They began to relax and Fred cried out in happiness. She hugged Gunn tightly and he wrapped his arm around
her.
"Welcome back, man," he said as the boat pulled into dock.
**********
Chapter 22
They all made their way to Gunn's truck. As they climbed in, Willow noticed that Wesley wasn't with them. He
was across the lot, climbing onto his bike. He started it up and rode away, leaving them all behind.
Willow felt a sense of loss, as she realized that Wesley would not be joining them now that Angel was back. It
wasn't fair. No one seemed to notice, but when she looked up, she saw Angel looking in the direction the ex-
watcher had gone, a tight expression on his face.
They were entering the Hyperion, when Fred turned to look around, from her position at Gunn's side, and asked,
"Where's Wesley?"
Angel answered her. "He left." His tone and expression showed the animosity he still felt.
Fred stuttered on, "Where? Why? He... "
Gunn stepped up. "Angel, man, I know you're mad at him, but he's our boy. You were right before, but not this
time. He got you back. He brought Connor back. You gotta let it go."
Angel pursed his lips and ground out, "He... took... my... son." He stared down the young man, but Gunn didn't
even flinch.
It was Connor who broke the silence. "He... we all have done things, things we regret. He taught me that. We
don't turn away. We help each other. We help them. He helped me, us. He's one of us."
Angel looked down, stunned at the boy he didn't know, yet was suddenly proud was his son. Wesley was a part
of that. Wesley had given him back his son. He couldn't forget what the other man had done, but he could begin
to forgive. It's what they wanted, what he wanted, what Cordelia would have wanted. He closed his eyes as he
felt that assurance deep inside himself.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting go of some of the anger, and nodded, acknowledging the truth. Wesley
was family, and you don't abandon family. He would make peace with the man, even as he had tried to make
peace with Darla.
**********
Chapter 23
Willow was dreaming. She was back on the beach where she had met Cordelia. The fight she had heard before
still raged in the cave before her. This time, the demon who had been there before was not there to block her
way.
She entered the cave and the firelight grew brighter. Wesley was deep in battle, sweat-soaked with blood
dripping into his eye from a cut on his forehead. Angel and Connor sat near the fire, leaning close to each other
and whispering as they tended the flame and watched the fight. Fred and Gunn held each other close and stood
at the edge of the circle surrounding the two warriors.
As she drew closer, Willow was only slightly surprised to see that the figure Wesley was battling was a shadow
figure of himself. The shadow shifted from the young watcher she had known in Sunnydale, to a grizzled
unkempt version of himself, and back again. The shifting figure kept hurtling accusations and insults at Wesley.
"You're not good enough. Of, course they don't want you around. You're nothing but a screw-up. All you ever do
is fail. What makes you think that you deserve them, any of them? You're nothing but a sorry excuse for a
human being. Wesley, the weasel..."
Willow winced as the insults continued and Wesley battled on. She could feel it wearing on him and knew what
this was like. She had gone through this when she battled her addiction to magic and again after she had tried to
end the world. Her heart went out to the man before her, as he battled his inner demons.
She reached out for him and felt a blinding flash flow up her arm and into her chest. She cried out in pain and
sat up on the couch where she had fallen asleep, her arm still outstretched. Tears ran down her face. She
scrambled off the couch and grabbed her keys. She had to go to him. She had to let him know that he wasn't
alone anymore. They had each other. They could battle their demons together, if he would let her.
**********
Chapter 24
It was still dark outside when she parked her car outside Wesley's apartment, though dawn was near. She
gathered her courage and sent up a silent prayer. She could see the lights still on in his window.
She knocked on his door and shuffled back and forth on her feet, wondering what to do, now that she was here.
Wesley answered the door and stepped back so that she could enter. She was mildly surprised to see Angel
sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs with his hands folded in his lap. She stood, uncertain, and looked back at
Wesley.
Angel noticed the exchange and stood. He spoke to Wesley. "Think about it, Wes. You know where to find us."
Wesley nodded and Angel walked out the still open door, his coat billowing behind him. Wesley stood there for a
moment and then closed the door. He looked awkwardly at Willow. "Can I get you something?"
"Umm, no, I..." Willow shrugged.
Wesley nodded and moved further into the room.
"Wesley," she spoke softly and put her hand on his arm as he started to walk past her.
He stopped and looked down at her hand. Neither moved. Then he smiled slightly and covered her hand with his.
He then lifted it to his lips, and brushed a soft kiss on the back of it.
She moved closer and reached up, pulling his head down to kiss him, chastely, on the lips. A shock rippled
through them both and time seemed to stop.
An eternity later, she leaned back and he looked down at her with a glazed expression, slightly in awe of the
redheaded beauty who had just kissed him. Then, as if a spell had been broken, he shook his head and wretched
himself away from her.
"Get out," he said gruffly. "I don't need this. I don't need your pity."
"Pity? Why should I pity you? I told you, Wesley, I *don't* feel sorry for you. Why should I? You made your
choices. I made mine.
"I'm here because I want to be, because I need to be, and if you'd get off your high horse, you'd admit that you
need me too.
"If you think it was easy for me to come here to admit how I feel for you, you are mistaken, buster. It's like you
told Connor. We all have our own demons, but we don't have to fight them alone. I am here because I want to
help you fight yours and because maybe you can help me to fight mine. Because, dammit, Wesley, I love you.
Somewhere in the middle of this, when I didn't even think it was possible, I fell in love with you... you stuck-up,
English, watcher-person.
She was crying openly now, and he just stood there. She gave a strangled cry and turned away. Her eyes almost
blinded by tears, she ran for the door.
He beat her to it. He held the door closed and looked down at her. She turned to hit him on the chest, trying to
get him to let her go. He gathered her into his arms and held her close.
"I love you, too," he said quietly. She looked up at him in disbelief and he said it again. "I love you." He lifted her
chin and began to kiss away her tears.
**********
Chapter 25
They spent the night in each other's arms. They drifted in and out of sleep, but mostly, they talked.
Wesley told Willow about what had gone on in L.A. for the last three years. He talked about his childhood and the
time he spent in the road alone after Sunnydale.
Willow told him about Tara, about falling in love with her and about Glory and Buffy's death. She spoke of the
magic and bringing back Buffy from the dead. She told him about losing herself to the magic and losing Tara.
She told him of what she had done in Sunnydale and how scared she still was when she sensed the magic
building inside of her. Then she told him about Cordelia, the visions and the dreams. She shared her fears and
her growing love for him.
They spoke of love and the future. He knew of the place Tara held in her heart, and the place he now held. She
knew too, her place in his heart. They knew that whatever came, they would face it together. With this
knowledge shining between them, they went home, to be with the rest of their family.
As they entered the lobby of the hotel, everyone turned to look at them. Gunn smiled and Fred giggled as they
saw the new couple holding hands. Willow blushed and Wesley stood tall, bringing their joined hands up to his
chest.
Connor and Gunn were moving furniture and Angel was standing back directing them. Fred was wearing long
latex gloves and was busy cleaning the lobby. A large rug covered the red pentagram in the middle of the floor,
and the couches and chairs had been rearranged around it to form a reception area. The corner, that had been
their gathering place, now held a circle of desks and several new lights. There was also a folding screen at the
edge of the area that could act as a privacy barrier. Bookcases and filing cabinets lined the walls.
Wesley could see the office that had been his. It now contained more bookcases and a large conference table.
Fred spoke up, excited, as they took in the changes. "It's all together now, like a round table. Well, it's not really
round, or a table, and there's no king. But, we're kind of like knights and everybody's the same, equal, like the
round table."
Wesley smiled. They really were family and it was finally as it should be. He wasn't in charge; neither was Angel.
More importantly, he no longer felt the need to be. They were all the same, fighting the same fight, the good
fight, together.
The phone rang and Angel turned to answer it. "Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless."
Wesley thought to himself, "that we do..."
From above, Cordelia smiled down on them all, her family.
When they had gone a safe distance, the barge stopped again and they pulled the iron coffin to the center of the
deck. Wesley hung back, as did Connor, as one of the divers lit an acetylene torch. Gunn opened the cooler of
blood and stood near the man who was cutting open Angel's prison.
Angel was still. He looked cold and pale, like a corpse pulled from a grave. This wasn't far from the truth, as he
lay unconscious in tattered clothing in what was meant to be his coffin.
His eyes opened as the first drops of blood hit his face. He growled and grabbed for Gunn, but Fred was there
holding a cross. He released the young black man, retreating with a feral growl and began feeding ravenously on
the proffered nourishment.
He was drinking the third packet when he blinked and began to warily look around, taking in his surroundings.
He saw Wesley standing behind Connor, with his hand on the boy's shoulder and began to lunge for him. He was
stopped by another cross and Willow sharply calling his name.
"Angel!" Willow cried out, and the vampire felt himself thrown back against the deck at the force of her
command.
He took a deep breath, in an eerie parody of human turned predator, and relaxed. Angel flexed his muscles
slowly, but unthreateningly. He listened and heard their heartbeats, smelled the fear and nervousness. He
registered that Gunn was there, and Fred, and Willow. Wesley and Connor were there, but he sensed no threat,
only concern.
After so much time of being deprived of his senses, of companionship, he was having difficulty reconciling reality.
His mind was still filled of images of the nightmares that plagued him, of Wesley's betrayal, of Connor. Holtz and
Darla and Buffy and all those he had failed were there, haunting his endless moments where he had no
distraction from his thoughts. Except there was one. The soothing sweet voice must have been a dream as well,
but it wasn't. She had been there with him. Somehow, in some way, Cordelia had been there and kept him sane.
She kept reminding him that he would be saved and that she loved him.
He met Wesley's eyes and the ex-watcher stood his ground and looked back unabashedly. Angel gave a slight
nod in acknowledgement and stood. He held his hands out slightly from his body in a non-threatening posture.
They began to relax and Fred cried out in happiness. She hugged Gunn tightly and he wrapped his arm around
her.
"Welcome back, man," he said as the boat pulled into dock.
**********
Chapter 22
They all made their way to Gunn's truck. As they climbed in, Willow noticed that Wesley wasn't with them. He
was across the lot, climbing onto his bike. He started it up and rode away, leaving them all behind.
Willow felt a sense of loss, as she realized that Wesley would not be joining them now that Angel was back. It
wasn't fair. No one seemed to notice, but when she looked up, she saw Angel looking in the direction the ex-
watcher had gone, a tight expression on his face.
They were entering the Hyperion, when Fred turned to look around, from her position at Gunn's side, and asked,
"Where's Wesley?"
Angel answered her. "He left." His tone and expression showed the animosity he still felt.
Fred stuttered on, "Where? Why? He... "
Gunn stepped up. "Angel, man, I know you're mad at him, but he's our boy. You were right before, but not this
time. He got you back. He brought Connor back. You gotta let it go."
Angel pursed his lips and ground out, "He... took... my... son." He stared down the young man, but Gunn didn't
even flinch.
It was Connor who broke the silence. "He... we all have done things, things we regret. He taught me that. We
don't turn away. We help each other. We help them. He helped me, us. He's one of us."
Angel looked down, stunned at the boy he didn't know, yet was suddenly proud was his son. Wesley was a part
of that. Wesley had given him back his son. He couldn't forget what the other man had done, but he could begin
to forgive. It's what they wanted, what he wanted, what Cordelia would have wanted. He closed his eyes as he
felt that assurance deep inside himself.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, letting go of some of the anger, and nodded, acknowledging the truth. Wesley
was family, and you don't abandon family. He would make peace with the man, even as he had tried to make
peace with Darla.
**********
Chapter 23
Willow was dreaming. She was back on the beach where she had met Cordelia. The fight she had heard before
still raged in the cave before her. This time, the demon who had been there before was not there to block her
way.
She entered the cave and the firelight grew brighter. Wesley was deep in battle, sweat-soaked with blood
dripping into his eye from a cut on his forehead. Angel and Connor sat near the fire, leaning close to each other
and whispering as they tended the flame and watched the fight. Fred and Gunn held each other close and stood
at the edge of the circle surrounding the two warriors.
As she drew closer, Willow was only slightly surprised to see that the figure Wesley was battling was a shadow
figure of himself. The shadow shifted from the young watcher she had known in Sunnydale, to a grizzled
unkempt version of himself, and back again. The shifting figure kept hurtling accusations and insults at Wesley.
"You're not good enough. Of, course they don't want you around. You're nothing but a screw-up. All you ever do
is fail. What makes you think that you deserve them, any of them? You're nothing but a sorry excuse for a
human being. Wesley, the weasel..."
Willow winced as the insults continued and Wesley battled on. She could feel it wearing on him and knew what
this was like. She had gone through this when she battled her addiction to magic and again after she had tried to
end the world. Her heart went out to the man before her, as he battled his inner demons.
She reached out for him and felt a blinding flash flow up her arm and into her chest. She cried out in pain and
sat up on the couch where she had fallen asleep, her arm still outstretched. Tears ran down her face. She
scrambled off the couch and grabbed her keys. She had to go to him. She had to let him know that he wasn't
alone anymore. They had each other. They could battle their demons together, if he would let her.
**********
Chapter 24
It was still dark outside when she parked her car outside Wesley's apartment, though dawn was near. She
gathered her courage and sent up a silent prayer. She could see the lights still on in his window.
She knocked on his door and shuffled back and forth on her feet, wondering what to do, now that she was here.
Wesley answered the door and stepped back so that she could enter. She was mildly surprised to see Angel
sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs with his hands folded in his lap. She stood, uncertain, and looked back at
Wesley.
Angel noticed the exchange and stood. He spoke to Wesley. "Think about it, Wes. You know where to find us."
Wesley nodded and Angel walked out the still open door, his coat billowing behind him. Wesley stood there for a
moment and then closed the door. He looked awkwardly at Willow. "Can I get you something?"
"Umm, no, I..." Willow shrugged.
Wesley nodded and moved further into the room.
"Wesley," she spoke softly and put her hand on his arm as he started to walk past her.
He stopped and looked down at her hand. Neither moved. Then he smiled slightly and covered her hand with his.
He then lifted it to his lips, and brushed a soft kiss on the back of it.
She moved closer and reached up, pulling his head down to kiss him, chastely, on the lips. A shock rippled
through them both and time seemed to stop.
An eternity later, she leaned back and he looked down at her with a glazed expression, slightly in awe of the
redheaded beauty who had just kissed him. Then, as if a spell had been broken, he shook his head and wretched
himself away from her.
"Get out," he said gruffly. "I don't need this. I don't need your pity."
"Pity? Why should I pity you? I told you, Wesley, I *don't* feel sorry for you. Why should I? You made your
choices. I made mine.
"I'm here because I want to be, because I need to be, and if you'd get off your high horse, you'd admit that you
need me too.
"If you think it was easy for me to come here to admit how I feel for you, you are mistaken, buster. It's like you
told Connor. We all have our own demons, but we don't have to fight them alone. I am here because I want to
help you fight yours and because maybe you can help me to fight mine. Because, dammit, Wesley, I love you.
Somewhere in the middle of this, when I didn't even think it was possible, I fell in love with you... you stuck-up,
English, watcher-person.
She was crying openly now, and he just stood there. She gave a strangled cry and turned away. Her eyes almost
blinded by tears, she ran for the door.
He beat her to it. He held the door closed and looked down at her. She turned to hit him on the chest, trying to
get him to let her go. He gathered her into his arms and held her close.
"I love you, too," he said quietly. She looked up at him in disbelief and he said it again. "I love you." He lifted her
chin and began to kiss away her tears.
**********
Chapter 25
They spent the night in each other's arms. They drifted in and out of sleep, but mostly, they talked.
Wesley told Willow about what had gone on in L.A. for the last three years. He talked about his childhood and the
time he spent in the road alone after Sunnydale.
Willow told him about Tara, about falling in love with her and about Glory and Buffy's death. She spoke of the
magic and bringing back Buffy from the dead. She told him about losing herself to the magic and losing Tara.
She told him of what she had done in Sunnydale and how scared she still was when she sensed the magic
building inside of her. Then she told him about Cordelia, the visions and the dreams. She shared her fears and
her growing love for him.
They spoke of love and the future. He knew of the place Tara held in her heart, and the place he now held. She
knew too, her place in his heart. They knew that whatever came, they would face it together. With this
knowledge shining between them, they went home, to be with the rest of their family.
As they entered the lobby of the hotel, everyone turned to look at them. Gunn smiled and Fred giggled as they
saw the new couple holding hands. Willow blushed and Wesley stood tall, bringing their joined hands up to his
chest.
Connor and Gunn were moving furniture and Angel was standing back directing them. Fred was wearing long
latex gloves and was busy cleaning the lobby. A large rug covered the red pentagram in the middle of the floor,
and the couches and chairs had been rearranged around it to form a reception area. The corner, that had been
their gathering place, now held a circle of desks and several new lights. There was also a folding screen at the
edge of the area that could act as a privacy barrier. Bookcases and filing cabinets lined the walls.
Wesley could see the office that had been his. It now contained more bookcases and a large conference table.
Fred spoke up, excited, as they took in the changes. "It's all together now, like a round table. Well, it's not really
round, or a table, and there's no king. But, we're kind of like knights and everybody's the same, equal, like the
round table."
Wesley smiled. They really were family and it was finally as it should be. He wasn't in charge; neither was Angel.
More importantly, he no longer felt the need to be. They were all the same, fighting the same fight, the good
fight, together.
The phone rang and Angel turned to answer it. "Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless."
Wesley thought to himself, "that we do..."
From above, Cordelia smiled down on them all, her family.