Author: Swythangel
Email: swythangel@hotmail.com
Title: Elan Vital
Type: 2/?
Teaser: After all that has happened has Brad and Ken moved on with their lives?
Rating: PG -13`
Spoilers:
Warnings: Shonen Ai, yaoi hints, AU
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz is not mine…you know the drill
Keywords: Ken, Brad, BradxKen, Aya, Schuldich, RanKen, BradSchu
Its not Gott…gomen! But somehow this just popped out and I can't help but write it. If anyone remembers this from waaay before I'd appreciate the comments. Tell me if this is still worthwhile to write ne? ^^
I'm into angst again, oh joy! ^o^v This is unbetaed and came out in one hour. Forgive the grammatical errors.
FF.net: Whee! See I'm a good girl, this is the real last call. All my fics will only appear in my Yahoo! Groups ML except for Gott and To Heed the Heart's Desire. ^^ That's http://groups.yahoo.com/swythchanfics. Domo!
Elan Vital
::Sequel to Devil In the Sun::
Part 2/?
Clawing, raking…
…raw flailed skin dripping blood.
Want out. Want…
To be free.
To scream.
To cry…
….who is this stranger inside my skin?
***
Aya peered into the soccer player's room, eyes squinting a little as it adjusted to the growing twilight outside. The room was in darkness, it seemed that the occupant preferred it that way as he hunched up on the bed, deep in thought.
Or at least that was how it looked to Aya.
Normally he would have respected the privacy of the individual within. No one more than he understood how precious solitude could be. But normalcy had no place in the events that surrounded the occupant of the room.
Normalcy would have been lights turned up to their very brightness. Normalcy would have been boisterous music accompanied by a loud oftimes off- key singing and maybe, just maybe a bit of uncoordinated spontaneous dancing. Normalcy would have had Aya and Omi sticking their heads inside said room and shouting at the occupant to tone down the music.
Normalcy would not have had this thick darkness that almost seemed tangible enough to hold. It would not have made the occupant huddle in on himself at the very corner of the room where the darkest shadows dwelt. He who had always loved the light.
As far as Aya was concerned, normalcy died the day Ken Hidaka came home with lifeless eyes. All that was left was a reasonable facsimile. A facsimile he did not want and was not willing to accept.
"Ken."
His voice sliced through the tangible darkness like the katana he wielded, breaking the silence into thousands of little pieces, the deep baritone hurtful to the ear because of the lack of sound inside the room.
The disheveled head rose to pin Aya with startled eyes as the boy on the bed scrabbled for the covers. It was only then that Aya realized that the brunette had been naked.
After pulling the covers to his chest, Ken's brown eyes rose once more to pin Aya with a chastising glare…as if it was sacrilegious to break the silence around him.
It caused Aya's chin to raise just a fraction of an inch. /You have wallowed in your despair long enough. It is time to come back to us./ Violet eyes challenged brown ones.
A challenge that simply slid off the smooth wall that slammed down the chocolate orbs as a smile quickly appeared on Ken's lips.
"Aya, you could have knocked ne?"
Cheerful voice, happy smile. It would have been perfect…except for the fact that it did not reach his eyes. It never did now, Aya noticed. It grated on Aya's nerves as he longed to shake Ken, to put some sense into him. But for now, he chose to play it Ken's way. For now.
"Would you have answered?" Aya said in his usual brusque tone.
"Of course." Came the too quick reply.
/Lie./ Aya's mind said but he chose to keep his silence.
"So what was it you came here for?" Ken said, fidgeting with the covers as he tried to pull it tightly around him.
"Manx. Basement. We have a briefing remember?" Aya said quirking up an eyebrow at Ken's reticence. "We've been waiting for you for ten minutes."
"Ack! You're right. I completely forgot." Ken said, slapping a hand on his forehead, only to quickly pull it back into the confines of the bedcovers. "Gomen ne. I'll be along shortly. I'll just go change into some clothes. You go on ahead, Aya, and thanks."
"No time. Go ahead and change, I'll wait for you right here."
"I insist Aya. You go on ahead. I'll be right along." Ken insisted, clutching the covers more tightly.
"Ken," Aya said, divining the reason for Ken's stubborness, "there's nothing in there that I haven't seen before. Who do you think patched you up when you hurt yourself in our sorties?" He said in an amused gentle tone.
"Still…" Ken fidgeted. "I'd prefer some privacy."
Aya narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping into his mind. Ken had never been this modest before. Something was wrong and it made Aya stride nearer to the bed. With each step he took, the covers tightened.
Finally when Aya was near the foot of the bed, he noticed a scent that permeated the vicinity…a sickly sweet coppery smell that was as familiar to Aya as his own scent…one an assassin could not forget…it was the smell of blood.
And it came from under the covers. Aya yanked at the offending material.
"Aya, what are you doing?" Ken squawked as he tightened his hold on the covers around him.
"What are you hiding, Ken?" Aya's voice had turned to steel, determination digging furrows in the lines around his mouth as he advanced towards Ken, pulling at the covers with all his strength.
"Nothing!"
There was no give in Ken's hold on the covers even as Aya turned a glare Ken's way. "Then why won't you let me take the covers?"
"Because I'm naked under them that's why!"
"And I told you I've seen you naked before. Now let go."
"No." Ken glared.
"Yes." Ran countered. "Its useless to argue, Ken. I will have my way. You will give me the covers. Or I will have the others help me.
Which will it be? Me alone or the others with me?"
"Damn you to hell and back, Fujimiya!" Ken said vehemently. He threw one last heated glare at Aya before the tension on the covers relaxed. And Aya gently pulled the covers back not knowing what to expect but expecting the worst.
Purple eyes widened in shock. Just for a minute though as he sprang into action, going into Ken's bathroom to get the first-aid kit.
Nothing would have prepared him for what he saw. Gashes ran through Ken's chest, all the way to his back. Deep and shallow wounds of different lengths, some still bleeding, others angry welts colored purple, blue, yellow criss-crossing all throughout the chest and back.
The wounds had ragged edges, as if someone had torn through them. Like a fowl's feet or tiger claws. But no such beast could have gotten to Ken in such a short time. Aya thought to himself as he treated and bandaged a silent Ken's wounds.
And as Aya's mind continued along that path…he had his answer. Ken's bugnuks could deal such wounds.
He drew in a deep shuddering breath, the sickly smell flooding his nostrils and he struggled not to retch as he took hold of Ken's shoulders. "Kisama…Ken…you could have bled to death."
Ken would not look Aya in the eye, lashes sweeping down to cover his eyes as he shrugged himself out of Aya's grip. Arms came up to hug himself.
"Go ahead." Ken said in a deadened voice that told Aya he did not care.. "Tell me what a disgusting idiot I am."
"And why should I do that?"
"What else can you say? Self-mutilation isn't exactly very normal."
"How about you telling me why you did it instead?"
"You would not understand." Ken shrugged.
"Why don't you try me?" Aya said softy.
Maybe it was because Ken had spent all his emotional reserves or maybe it was because Aya neither condemned him nor offered pity. Whatever it was, it cracked the mind numbing walls inside Ken and he finally broke.
The walls came down in seconds and pain, raw, blinding pain drowned out the velvet brown depths of Ken's expressive eyes. Aya wanted to rush in and hold the boy tight in his arms but he knew that it was too soon.
"I did it to take him out."
"Him?" Aya queried.
"The stranger inside me. The one whose pain fills me so thoroughly that I cannot think straight, the one who yearns for something he cannot, should not have.
I just thought that maybe, if I scratched deep enough, hard enough, I'd be able to get him out. Then I can return to being me. I want to be me, Aya, the old me. The one who laughs and teases and trips over the least little things.
I want to be able to enjoy the sun once again, not curse it for letting me live another day without….without…"
Understanding was in Aya's purple eyes as he gently pulled the suffering boy close. He had promised himself that he would go slow, knowing the pain was still raw, but he could not stand the brunette's suffering.
As startled brown eyes looked up at him. Aya looked down on the confused, hurt boy in his arms with the gentlest expression in his eyes. "You will forget him eventually. I will help you because…because…Ai shitteru, Ken. I love you." He kissed Ken's forehead.
Somewhere in a darkened sanctum, a pair of eyeglasses fell on a cold marble floor, shattering into useless shards as nerveless fingers failed to take hold of them.
A prophetic vision had come true.
TBC ^___~ Comments onegai?
I still want it to be BradKen. But in the meantime it's a RanKen chapter ne? ^^ Who knows how this will turn up…
Email: swythangel@hotmail.com
Title: Elan Vital
Type: 2/?
Teaser: After all that has happened has Brad and Ken moved on with their lives?
Rating: PG -13`
Spoilers:
Warnings: Shonen Ai, yaoi hints, AU
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz is not mine…you know the drill
Keywords: Ken, Brad, BradxKen, Aya, Schuldich, RanKen, BradSchu
Its not Gott…gomen! But somehow this just popped out and I can't help but write it. If anyone remembers this from waaay before I'd appreciate the comments. Tell me if this is still worthwhile to write ne? ^^
I'm into angst again, oh joy! ^o^v This is unbetaed and came out in one hour. Forgive the grammatical errors.
FF.net: Whee! See I'm a good girl, this is the real last call. All my fics will only appear in my Yahoo! Groups ML except for Gott and To Heed the Heart's Desire. ^^ That's http://groups.yahoo.com/swythchanfics. Domo!
Elan Vital
::Sequel to Devil In the Sun::
Part 2/?
Clawing, raking…
…raw flailed skin dripping blood.
Want out. Want…
To be free.
To scream.
To cry…
….who is this stranger inside my skin?
***
Aya peered into the soccer player's room, eyes squinting a little as it adjusted to the growing twilight outside. The room was in darkness, it seemed that the occupant preferred it that way as he hunched up on the bed, deep in thought.
Or at least that was how it looked to Aya.
Normally he would have respected the privacy of the individual within. No one more than he understood how precious solitude could be. But normalcy had no place in the events that surrounded the occupant of the room.
Normalcy would have been lights turned up to their very brightness. Normalcy would have been boisterous music accompanied by a loud oftimes off- key singing and maybe, just maybe a bit of uncoordinated spontaneous dancing. Normalcy would have had Aya and Omi sticking their heads inside said room and shouting at the occupant to tone down the music.
Normalcy would not have had this thick darkness that almost seemed tangible enough to hold. It would not have made the occupant huddle in on himself at the very corner of the room where the darkest shadows dwelt. He who had always loved the light.
As far as Aya was concerned, normalcy died the day Ken Hidaka came home with lifeless eyes. All that was left was a reasonable facsimile. A facsimile he did not want and was not willing to accept.
"Ken."
His voice sliced through the tangible darkness like the katana he wielded, breaking the silence into thousands of little pieces, the deep baritone hurtful to the ear because of the lack of sound inside the room.
The disheveled head rose to pin Aya with startled eyes as the boy on the bed scrabbled for the covers. It was only then that Aya realized that the brunette had been naked.
After pulling the covers to his chest, Ken's brown eyes rose once more to pin Aya with a chastising glare…as if it was sacrilegious to break the silence around him.
It caused Aya's chin to raise just a fraction of an inch. /You have wallowed in your despair long enough. It is time to come back to us./ Violet eyes challenged brown ones.
A challenge that simply slid off the smooth wall that slammed down the chocolate orbs as a smile quickly appeared on Ken's lips.
"Aya, you could have knocked ne?"
Cheerful voice, happy smile. It would have been perfect…except for the fact that it did not reach his eyes. It never did now, Aya noticed. It grated on Aya's nerves as he longed to shake Ken, to put some sense into him. But for now, he chose to play it Ken's way. For now.
"Would you have answered?" Aya said in his usual brusque tone.
"Of course." Came the too quick reply.
/Lie./ Aya's mind said but he chose to keep his silence.
"So what was it you came here for?" Ken said, fidgeting with the covers as he tried to pull it tightly around him.
"Manx. Basement. We have a briefing remember?" Aya said quirking up an eyebrow at Ken's reticence. "We've been waiting for you for ten minutes."
"Ack! You're right. I completely forgot." Ken said, slapping a hand on his forehead, only to quickly pull it back into the confines of the bedcovers. "Gomen ne. I'll be along shortly. I'll just go change into some clothes. You go on ahead, Aya, and thanks."
"No time. Go ahead and change, I'll wait for you right here."
"I insist Aya. You go on ahead. I'll be right along." Ken insisted, clutching the covers more tightly.
"Ken," Aya said, divining the reason for Ken's stubborness, "there's nothing in there that I haven't seen before. Who do you think patched you up when you hurt yourself in our sorties?" He said in an amused gentle tone.
"Still…" Ken fidgeted. "I'd prefer some privacy."
Aya narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping into his mind. Ken had never been this modest before. Something was wrong and it made Aya stride nearer to the bed. With each step he took, the covers tightened.
Finally when Aya was near the foot of the bed, he noticed a scent that permeated the vicinity…a sickly sweet coppery smell that was as familiar to Aya as his own scent…one an assassin could not forget…it was the smell of blood.
And it came from under the covers. Aya yanked at the offending material.
"Aya, what are you doing?" Ken squawked as he tightened his hold on the covers around him.
"What are you hiding, Ken?" Aya's voice had turned to steel, determination digging furrows in the lines around his mouth as he advanced towards Ken, pulling at the covers with all his strength.
"Nothing!"
There was no give in Ken's hold on the covers even as Aya turned a glare Ken's way. "Then why won't you let me take the covers?"
"Because I'm naked under them that's why!"
"And I told you I've seen you naked before. Now let go."
"No." Ken glared.
"Yes." Ran countered. "Its useless to argue, Ken. I will have my way. You will give me the covers. Or I will have the others help me.
Which will it be? Me alone or the others with me?"
"Damn you to hell and back, Fujimiya!" Ken said vehemently. He threw one last heated glare at Aya before the tension on the covers relaxed. And Aya gently pulled the covers back not knowing what to expect but expecting the worst.
Purple eyes widened in shock. Just for a minute though as he sprang into action, going into Ken's bathroom to get the first-aid kit.
Nothing would have prepared him for what he saw. Gashes ran through Ken's chest, all the way to his back. Deep and shallow wounds of different lengths, some still bleeding, others angry welts colored purple, blue, yellow criss-crossing all throughout the chest and back.
The wounds had ragged edges, as if someone had torn through them. Like a fowl's feet or tiger claws. But no such beast could have gotten to Ken in such a short time. Aya thought to himself as he treated and bandaged a silent Ken's wounds.
And as Aya's mind continued along that path…he had his answer. Ken's bugnuks could deal such wounds.
He drew in a deep shuddering breath, the sickly smell flooding his nostrils and he struggled not to retch as he took hold of Ken's shoulders. "Kisama…Ken…you could have bled to death."
Ken would not look Aya in the eye, lashes sweeping down to cover his eyes as he shrugged himself out of Aya's grip. Arms came up to hug himself.
"Go ahead." Ken said in a deadened voice that told Aya he did not care.. "Tell me what a disgusting idiot I am."
"And why should I do that?"
"What else can you say? Self-mutilation isn't exactly very normal."
"How about you telling me why you did it instead?"
"You would not understand." Ken shrugged.
"Why don't you try me?" Aya said softy.
Maybe it was because Ken had spent all his emotional reserves or maybe it was because Aya neither condemned him nor offered pity. Whatever it was, it cracked the mind numbing walls inside Ken and he finally broke.
The walls came down in seconds and pain, raw, blinding pain drowned out the velvet brown depths of Ken's expressive eyes. Aya wanted to rush in and hold the boy tight in his arms but he knew that it was too soon.
"I did it to take him out."
"Him?" Aya queried.
"The stranger inside me. The one whose pain fills me so thoroughly that I cannot think straight, the one who yearns for something he cannot, should not have.
I just thought that maybe, if I scratched deep enough, hard enough, I'd be able to get him out. Then I can return to being me. I want to be me, Aya, the old me. The one who laughs and teases and trips over the least little things.
I want to be able to enjoy the sun once again, not curse it for letting me live another day without….without…"
Understanding was in Aya's purple eyes as he gently pulled the suffering boy close. He had promised himself that he would go slow, knowing the pain was still raw, but he could not stand the brunette's suffering.
As startled brown eyes looked up at him. Aya looked down on the confused, hurt boy in his arms with the gentlest expression in his eyes. "You will forget him eventually. I will help you because…because…Ai shitteru, Ken. I love you." He kissed Ken's forehead.
Somewhere in a darkened sanctum, a pair of eyeglasses fell on a cold marble floor, shattering into useless shards as nerveless fingers failed to take hold of them.
A prophetic vision had come true.
TBC ^___~ Comments onegai?
I still want it to be BradKen. But in the meantime it's a RanKen chapter ne? ^^ Who knows how this will turn up…