And chapter three is here! Hope this is good. Sorry that all of my chappies
are so short. They always seem decently long until you post them. Shrug.
Anyhow. Kurama and Hiei do not belong to me. Enjoy!
Midnyte-fox
* * * * *
Hiei's POV
I dashed from tree to tree, needed to get away from him. I was disgusted with myself. Why had I needled him like that? I knew what provoking him would do.
Which was, of course, why I did it. I wanted to feel his hands on me, his mouth under mine.
In truth, I was glad he had dreamed about me. I shivered, pausing in the branches of a large maple. I was glad he had kissed me, let me roll him over and pin him to the bed. It was exactly as I would have wanted it.
But, no. He didn't love me. He would play with me until he was satisfied, then cast me aside like a broken toy.
And I would be broken.
I was already damaged. It wouldn't take much to snap me, shatter me into little pieces.
He wouldn't do it intentionally, of course. That wasn't his way. His ningen side would gentle the truth. Even he wouldn't be able to see it. He thought he had some balance between the two, but . . . No. He was primitive in his desires. He had a love of rare objects, and would do whatever it took to get them. Fifteen years in the ningen world couldn't erase that.
He wanted me. I knew this. I now understood that he knew I wanted him.
I looked through the maple leaves, up to the cloudy sky. The scent of rain drifted on the wind, and I shivered again, this time from the chill. Maybe I should return . . .
I snorted to myself. Only I would consider going back there.
Part of me warned to stay away, but the rest of me pleaded to go back.
Suddenly it struck me. If he knew I wanted him that was fine. He didn't know there were emotions involved. And wouldn't, if I had my say. Then, if I didn't expect anything but the physical side of a relationship from him, we could both get what we wanted.
Smiling, and forcing the emotional racket in my brain to a standstill, I focused on that. I just had to let it stay physical, to repress the emotions. It was that easy.
With newfound clarity, I raced back toward Kurama.
* * * * *
He lay on his bed, curled in on himself. I watched him for a moment, before going inside. He sat up, surprised, and stared at me with red eyes.
I threw off my cloak, removed my katana, and advanced on him. He started to stand, but I wrapped one arm around his waist and pushed him back down. Sliding one knee between his thighs, I held him there, staring down into the piercing green eyes that regarded me. He had been crying.
He stared up at me, uncertain. Unable to take anymore of the hurt and hopeful gaze that came so easily to his ningen form, I lowered my head, claiming his mouth. He shivered under me, and I felt his body tense. It only lasted a moment, and then he slid his arms around me, one hand cupping the back of my neck.
I broke from his mouth, moving to his throat and biting down. He shuddered, hands clenching in my hair. I moved then, pushing his hands above his head. It granted me access to his sweater, which I promptly removed. I looked at his face. His jade eyes were darkened with desire, but tears still glistened in the corners of them. Cursing myself for a fool, I ignored them, and focused on the passion I saw in his gaze.
No! I reprimanded myself. It's lust, that's all. Passion requires emotion, and I would never see that from him. Not the kind I wanted, anyhow.
Angry at myself for letting the thoughts intrude, I didn't see him staring up at me, eyes wide with surprise. I reached for him again, but his hands came up between us and pushed me away. I sat back.
He sat up, looking at me with concern. "Hiei, what happened?"
I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Hn?"
He took a deep breath. "There's something wrong. What happened?"
I glared at him. It was a trick, a damned youko trick to make me trust him, love him, care for him.
Baka, I told myself. You already do. He would never return it, though. You're damaged.
He regarded me steadily, and I realized I hadn't answered him. I frowned. What was I to say?
"Nothing happened," I said.
He stared at me. "Really? Well, then, what's got you so worked up?"
I glared again, feeling rather foolish. "Nothing."
He looked at me skeptically. "Hiei, you're lying."
I blinked at him. "Nani?"
He smiled softly, tenderness written on his features. A good mask, nothing more. "Hiei, please tell me." He brushed my cheek with his fingertips. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible. "You can trust me, you know."
I stood, backing away. His eyes became shuttered for a moment, but the caring in his gaze never dimmed.
"N-nani?" I was shocked, enraged. How could he lie so blatantly? I laughed, harsh and grating. "Kitsune no baka. No demon can trust another. You should know that by now."
His eyes flashed with pain. I ignored it.
"Have you ever been denied anything in your life, Kurama? Have you ever known what it is like to go without?" I smiled coldly. "Of course not. There is nothing the great Youko Kurama wants that he doesn't get. After all, there are so many toys to play with."
He flinched. Served him right for playing with me as he had.
"But, you can't have everything, Kurama." He frowned, and I mistook it for disappointment. I laughed. "Oh, you can have my body. I don't care about that. Go ahead. Maybe then you'll be satisfied, and you will leave me in peace." I reached to touch him, but his eyes had gone cold, and he drew in on himself. His voice was dead and toneless when he spoke, and I almost regretted what I had said.
"If that is what you truly think of me, we have nothing left to discuss." He gestured tiredly toward the window. "Go, then. Leave me to my own twisted games." His voice was bitter.
I felt a flash of guilt. Maybe I had been wrong. "Kurama, what . . ."
Then he turned on me, eyes flashing with anger. "Just go! Leave, Hiei!" His eyes were bright with tears now, and I felt sick. What had I done? I had thought he didn't care. I was a toy . . . Wasn't I?
"Kurama, I didn't mean . . ." My voice failed me when he looked into my eyes.
"Yes, you did, Hiei. And I was a fool not to have realized it sooner." He laughed bitterly. "And you know, you were right. That's how I used to be. But you were wrong in one thing, Hiei. I never had the one thing I craved most." He stopped, blinked back tears. "But that hardly matters now, seeing as it will never be mine." He stood, walked to the door, out into the hall. His movements were mechanical. He stumbled once, blind with tears.
I nearly threw up. Tears welled at the corners of my eyes. They overflowed, dropping to the floor.
What had I done?
Anyhow. Kurama and Hiei do not belong to me. Enjoy!
Midnyte-fox
* * * * *
Hiei's POV
I dashed from tree to tree, needed to get away from him. I was disgusted with myself. Why had I needled him like that? I knew what provoking him would do.
Which was, of course, why I did it. I wanted to feel his hands on me, his mouth under mine.
In truth, I was glad he had dreamed about me. I shivered, pausing in the branches of a large maple. I was glad he had kissed me, let me roll him over and pin him to the bed. It was exactly as I would have wanted it.
But, no. He didn't love me. He would play with me until he was satisfied, then cast me aside like a broken toy.
And I would be broken.
I was already damaged. It wouldn't take much to snap me, shatter me into little pieces.
He wouldn't do it intentionally, of course. That wasn't his way. His ningen side would gentle the truth. Even he wouldn't be able to see it. He thought he had some balance between the two, but . . . No. He was primitive in his desires. He had a love of rare objects, and would do whatever it took to get them. Fifteen years in the ningen world couldn't erase that.
He wanted me. I knew this. I now understood that he knew I wanted him.
I looked through the maple leaves, up to the cloudy sky. The scent of rain drifted on the wind, and I shivered again, this time from the chill. Maybe I should return . . .
I snorted to myself. Only I would consider going back there.
Part of me warned to stay away, but the rest of me pleaded to go back.
Suddenly it struck me. If he knew I wanted him that was fine. He didn't know there were emotions involved. And wouldn't, if I had my say. Then, if I didn't expect anything but the physical side of a relationship from him, we could both get what we wanted.
Smiling, and forcing the emotional racket in my brain to a standstill, I focused on that. I just had to let it stay physical, to repress the emotions. It was that easy.
With newfound clarity, I raced back toward Kurama.
* * * * *
He lay on his bed, curled in on himself. I watched him for a moment, before going inside. He sat up, surprised, and stared at me with red eyes.
I threw off my cloak, removed my katana, and advanced on him. He started to stand, but I wrapped one arm around his waist and pushed him back down. Sliding one knee between his thighs, I held him there, staring down into the piercing green eyes that regarded me. He had been crying.
He stared up at me, uncertain. Unable to take anymore of the hurt and hopeful gaze that came so easily to his ningen form, I lowered my head, claiming his mouth. He shivered under me, and I felt his body tense. It only lasted a moment, and then he slid his arms around me, one hand cupping the back of my neck.
I broke from his mouth, moving to his throat and biting down. He shuddered, hands clenching in my hair. I moved then, pushing his hands above his head. It granted me access to his sweater, which I promptly removed. I looked at his face. His jade eyes were darkened with desire, but tears still glistened in the corners of them. Cursing myself for a fool, I ignored them, and focused on the passion I saw in his gaze.
No! I reprimanded myself. It's lust, that's all. Passion requires emotion, and I would never see that from him. Not the kind I wanted, anyhow.
Angry at myself for letting the thoughts intrude, I didn't see him staring up at me, eyes wide with surprise. I reached for him again, but his hands came up between us and pushed me away. I sat back.
He sat up, looking at me with concern. "Hiei, what happened?"
I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Hn?"
He took a deep breath. "There's something wrong. What happened?"
I glared at him. It was a trick, a damned youko trick to make me trust him, love him, care for him.
Baka, I told myself. You already do. He would never return it, though. You're damaged.
He regarded me steadily, and I realized I hadn't answered him. I frowned. What was I to say?
"Nothing happened," I said.
He stared at me. "Really? Well, then, what's got you so worked up?"
I glared again, feeling rather foolish. "Nothing."
He looked at me skeptically. "Hiei, you're lying."
I blinked at him. "Nani?"
He smiled softly, tenderness written on his features. A good mask, nothing more. "Hiei, please tell me." He brushed my cheek with his fingertips. When he spoke, his voice was barely audible. "You can trust me, you know."
I stood, backing away. His eyes became shuttered for a moment, but the caring in his gaze never dimmed.
"N-nani?" I was shocked, enraged. How could he lie so blatantly? I laughed, harsh and grating. "Kitsune no baka. No demon can trust another. You should know that by now."
His eyes flashed with pain. I ignored it.
"Have you ever been denied anything in your life, Kurama? Have you ever known what it is like to go without?" I smiled coldly. "Of course not. There is nothing the great Youko Kurama wants that he doesn't get. After all, there are so many toys to play with."
He flinched. Served him right for playing with me as he had.
"But, you can't have everything, Kurama." He frowned, and I mistook it for disappointment. I laughed. "Oh, you can have my body. I don't care about that. Go ahead. Maybe then you'll be satisfied, and you will leave me in peace." I reached to touch him, but his eyes had gone cold, and he drew in on himself. His voice was dead and toneless when he spoke, and I almost regretted what I had said.
"If that is what you truly think of me, we have nothing left to discuss." He gestured tiredly toward the window. "Go, then. Leave me to my own twisted games." His voice was bitter.
I felt a flash of guilt. Maybe I had been wrong. "Kurama, what . . ."
Then he turned on me, eyes flashing with anger. "Just go! Leave, Hiei!" His eyes were bright with tears now, and I felt sick. What had I done? I had thought he didn't care. I was a toy . . . Wasn't I?
"Kurama, I didn't mean . . ." My voice failed me when he looked into my eyes.
"Yes, you did, Hiei. And I was a fool not to have realized it sooner." He laughed bitterly. "And you know, you were right. That's how I used to be. But you were wrong in one thing, Hiei. I never had the one thing I craved most." He stopped, blinked back tears. "But that hardly matters now, seeing as it will never be mine." He stood, walked to the door, out into the hall. His movements were mechanical. He stumbled once, blind with tears.
I nearly threw up. Tears welled at the corners of my eyes. They overflowed, dropping to the floor.
What had I done?