Ok, first thing, didn't mean to refer to the wonderful little hobbit in
such a well, HARSH way. Just looking at him as someone else might look at
him... Anywho, became obsessed day before yesterday with one idea. What
EXACTLY would happen if Harry met Frodo? If they were in a duel above a
fiery pit using only giant cotton swabs to defend themselves, who would
win? It's an idea I've been toying with for quite some time now, this is
probably not a final copy, merely a draft. I would appreciate input from
you guys. Remember, reviews are welcomed, makes much less work for me. And
keep this declaration in mind; "There's only room for one ridiculously
successful fantasy series in THIS school!!!"
-Cheers
Diana
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An old man sat on the edge of a wall, a pipe peeking out from his long white beard. A beard so long, in fact, that he could tuck it into his belt if he wished. His eyes were a merry sky blue, and his wrinkled face was worn with the weight of many years.
There he sat, on the cold brick, waiting. That was alright, the man was content. He had plenty left yet in his pipe, and besides, the stars were gorgeous tonight. Venus was in her prime. He didn't wait long, however, for whatever he was waiting for.
Crunch. Crunch.
"You're late." Accused the man, gazing out in the black night from under his wide brimmed hat.
"A wizard is never late, my friend." Came the gruff reply. "Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
The two figures were motionless, seeming to stare each other down. Then the newcomer broke a wry grin and the pair burst out into laughter.
"Oh my friend! Good to see you! So good...."
"Oh you old Greyhead, you haven't changed!"
As the men embraced they began to chatter like young ones again. Talking of old times. Times when beards weren't as grey and there was plenty of weed to go around. Finally they happened to pause long enough for the first man to speak.
"I suppose it should be starting soon." He gestured towards the door of the theatre behind them with his pipe. His companion smiled and hopped down off the wall. He walked briskly to the entrance and looked back. He tapped his staff impatiently on the ground.
"Who's waiting for whom?" He asked.
And so, laughing, the two entered the theatre hand in hand singing, as they passed through the double doors and underneath the neon lights.
"Tonight only! Double Feature!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The lights dimmed, and the movie began to play on the aging screen. It was a nice theatre, as older ones go. The seats were comfortable, and even hand their own cup holders. The walls were a bit chipped but cheery looking, with colorful fabrics lining the paneling. The screen itself seemed to be an old stage, the velvet curtains were drawn back as to allow room for the movie screen. Quite a few people had shown up tonight, and they were excitedly chatting to one another about the movies, their plots, and the characters.
The two men entered and chose two empty seats, near the back but not so far back that the head of some annoying groupie blocked the way. They had barely gotten situated when the lights dimmed, and the film began. It was of course 'Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring' and the 'Two Towers'. As the plot unraveled and the story progressed, the first man leaned over. "Got to give you credit, this movie of yours isn't so bad." He whispered, only to be rudely shushed by his companion, whose eyes were glued to the screen.
"Gandalf! It's so wonderful to see you again!"
A small, furry, mop headed midget jumped on the cart on screen.
Annoyed at being ignored, the first man began to ponder the beginnings of yet another evil scheme. 'I wonder.' He thought, 'what would happen if.' Before he finished his thought, he knew what he would do. He averted his gaze to the "elf" on the movie screen. "He irritates me anyway." He muttered. "SUCH a pretty boy."
WHOOP! ZANG!
A small spark emitted from the tip of a wooden wand concealed under his cloak, and hit the picture of the elf on screen. His partner didn't notice of course, being engrossed in well, himself. He did notice, however, when the elf dropped his bow and gave a shrill scream. Everyone in the 'counsel' onscreen turned. The head honcho, "Elrond", looked confused. "Yes..." He asked cautiously. Legolas' eyes started to gather a storm, as he appeared to be searching his quiver of arrows frantically.
"WHO." He gasped, barely able to control his anger. The council leaned in, beckoning him to continue.
"WHO." He started again.
"What? What?" Elrond prodded.
"Who..who... WHO STOLE MY TAMPON?!?!?!?!"
Back out in the theatre, the first man started cracking up. Unpicking another lemon drop, he prepared to have more fun.
"What was that about?" The second man asked, banging his staff off the chair in front of him in his impatience and cracking some middle aged man over the head. But the first gentleman continued to laugh and laugh. The second man turned red. "That's just like you!" He roared, as the now unnervingly convincing feminine Legolas pranced about the screen, much to the confusion of the rest of the audience. "ALWAYS playing JOKES! Never serious! You don't even have a proper series to you name! My series could kick the big fat ass off of your impy Pre-Teen one!" The first man said nothing for a minute. Then he looked up, his eyes twinkling. "Would you like to test that theory?" He asked mockingly. "YES. Let's do it. Now."
"Alright."
"O.k."
"Fine then"
"Well, go on already!" Eyes flashing and twinkling, the two matched wand with staff and turned eyes toward the screen.
WHOOP. ZANG! PLOP.
SPARKLE!!!!!!
-Cheers
Diana
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An old man sat on the edge of a wall, a pipe peeking out from his long white beard. A beard so long, in fact, that he could tuck it into his belt if he wished. His eyes were a merry sky blue, and his wrinkled face was worn with the weight of many years.
There he sat, on the cold brick, waiting. That was alright, the man was content. He had plenty left yet in his pipe, and besides, the stars were gorgeous tonight. Venus was in her prime. He didn't wait long, however, for whatever he was waiting for.
Crunch. Crunch.
"You're late." Accused the man, gazing out in the black night from under his wide brimmed hat.
"A wizard is never late, my friend." Came the gruff reply. "Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
The two figures were motionless, seeming to stare each other down. Then the newcomer broke a wry grin and the pair burst out into laughter.
"Oh my friend! Good to see you! So good...."
"Oh you old Greyhead, you haven't changed!"
As the men embraced they began to chatter like young ones again. Talking of old times. Times when beards weren't as grey and there was plenty of weed to go around. Finally they happened to pause long enough for the first man to speak.
"I suppose it should be starting soon." He gestured towards the door of the theatre behind them with his pipe. His companion smiled and hopped down off the wall. He walked briskly to the entrance and looked back. He tapped his staff impatiently on the ground.
"Who's waiting for whom?" He asked.
And so, laughing, the two entered the theatre hand in hand singing, as they passed through the double doors and underneath the neon lights.
"Tonight only! Double Feature!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The lights dimmed, and the movie began to play on the aging screen. It was a nice theatre, as older ones go. The seats were comfortable, and even hand their own cup holders. The walls were a bit chipped but cheery looking, with colorful fabrics lining the paneling. The screen itself seemed to be an old stage, the velvet curtains were drawn back as to allow room for the movie screen. Quite a few people had shown up tonight, and they were excitedly chatting to one another about the movies, their plots, and the characters.
The two men entered and chose two empty seats, near the back but not so far back that the head of some annoying groupie blocked the way. They had barely gotten situated when the lights dimmed, and the film began. It was of course 'Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring' and the 'Two Towers'. As the plot unraveled and the story progressed, the first man leaned over. "Got to give you credit, this movie of yours isn't so bad." He whispered, only to be rudely shushed by his companion, whose eyes were glued to the screen.
"Gandalf! It's so wonderful to see you again!"
A small, furry, mop headed midget jumped on the cart on screen.
Annoyed at being ignored, the first man began to ponder the beginnings of yet another evil scheme. 'I wonder.' He thought, 'what would happen if.' Before he finished his thought, he knew what he would do. He averted his gaze to the "elf" on the movie screen. "He irritates me anyway." He muttered. "SUCH a pretty boy."
WHOOP! ZANG!
A small spark emitted from the tip of a wooden wand concealed under his cloak, and hit the picture of the elf on screen. His partner didn't notice of course, being engrossed in well, himself. He did notice, however, when the elf dropped his bow and gave a shrill scream. Everyone in the 'counsel' onscreen turned. The head honcho, "Elrond", looked confused. "Yes..." He asked cautiously. Legolas' eyes started to gather a storm, as he appeared to be searching his quiver of arrows frantically.
"WHO." He gasped, barely able to control his anger. The council leaned in, beckoning him to continue.
"WHO." He started again.
"What? What?" Elrond prodded.
"Who..who... WHO STOLE MY TAMPON?!?!?!?!"
Back out in the theatre, the first man started cracking up. Unpicking another lemon drop, he prepared to have more fun.
"What was that about?" The second man asked, banging his staff off the chair in front of him in his impatience and cracking some middle aged man over the head. But the first gentleman continued to laugh and laugh. The second man turned red. "That's just like you!" He roared, as the now unnervingly convincing feminine Legolas pranced about the screen, much to the confusion of the rest of the audience. "ALWAYS playing JOKES! Never serious! You don't even have a proper series to you name! My series could kick the big fat ass off of your impy Pre-Teen one!" The first man said nothing for a minute. Then he looked up, his eyes twinkling. "Would you like to test that theory?" He asked mockingly. "YES. Let's do it. Now."
"Alright."
"O.k."
"Fine then"
"Well, go on already!" Eyes flashing and twinkling, the two matched wand with staff and turned eyes toward the screen.
WHOOP. ZANG! PLOP.
SPARKLE!!!!!!