*I had no idea what the hell had just happened. All I knew when I looked
up at a huge castle in the distance was that I wasn't in Gondor anymore. I
knew Arwen had threatened to knock me into another continent for
"borrowing" her eyelash curlers, but I didn't really think she'd do it.
Besides, curly lashes look better on me, anyway.*
The King of Gondor looked around, and realizing he wasn't familiar with the land, began to panic. Then he mentally slapped himself. He was king! A king doesn't panic.. he improvises. Right. Well, one thing was clear. He was king..alone, lost.., somewhere.. Hurrumph, he thought. Doesn't matter WHERE I am, I'm still king around here!
Standing up tall, shoulders back, chest in, Aragorn began a noble walk. Right into a tree. FWUMP.
"Oww.."
CRACK! SNAP!
"What the?!?!"
CRACK! BRUISE!
Aragorn scuttled backwards on his hands, narrowly avoiding being decapitated by a tree.
"What magic is this?" He wondered, turning around, but only to receive a smack on his backside by the tree.
"OOOUUUUCCCccchhh! I'll show you!"
Aragorn unsheathed Anduril, and was just about to teach this oversized roll of toilet paper to respect his king, when he heard someone approaching. Hiding quickly in some shrubbery, he listened intensely. Whatever it was, it sounded like an Oliphaunt marching! Peering intently over the brush, Aragorn saw it wasn't an animal at all! Why, it was a man! A huge man. and very hairy, Aragorn thought. Perhaps this man was kin to Tom Bombadil? Taking a chance, Aragorn stepped out.
"Hello there!"
The man turned.
"Eh?
"Hellloooooo there!"
"Who're yeh?"
Aragorn paused. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. King of Gondor!"
The giant man raced over towards him immediately.
"Are yeh a wizard or a muggle?"
Aragorn was now officially confused. "I am King of Gondor! Bow down before me!"
The man picked Aragorn up by the scruff of his neck, and began to carry him towards the castle.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! I AM YOUR KING!!! YOU OWE ME YOUR ALLEGIANCE!!!"
The man said nothing to this in reply, merely giving a sympathetic tutt and beginning to walk quicker.
"Never knew what yeh looked like. thought yeh would'a put up more 'o a struggle though. Azkaban must of really gotten teh yeh.."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * *
Meanwhile, Gimli had suddenly appeared in the woods. He had been right in the middle of trying to chop the One Ring in half when suddenly he been brought here. Instead of bringing his axe down on the ring like he had done COUNTLESS times before, Gimli looked down to see had a had slaughtered a small, furry animal. Squirrel, to be precise. Knowing what Legolas would do to him if he saw the poor, spliced creature, Gimli quickly glanced around and vainly tried to push to two halves of the animal back together.
"OOOOOhhhhh Gimili!!!" Rang a higher-than-usual elvin voice.
"Shit." Gimli murmured, still trying to attach the squirrel.
"Oh Gimli darling, THERE you are!" Legolas strode in the opening with him, to find Gimli's back to him/her? Gimli briskly turned around to face to Prince/Princess? of Mirkwood, revealing a limp squirrel with ducktape down in middle behind him. Legolas pranced over to the stump.
"Ahhhh! A squirrely squirrel!"
Gimli shut his eyes and looked away.
"It's sooo cute!!!"
Gimli opened his eyes, only to see Legolas hugging the dead squirrel. Noticing the duck tape was slipping, he promptly seperated the two and set the squirrel back down.
"Legolas? LEGOLAS! Stop nancing about for ONE SECOND and LISTEN!"
The elvin Prince/Princess immediately froze.
"We need to find out where we are." Gimli began, looking around. Spotting the castle looming in the distance, he grinned. "And that is where we shall begin!" A sudden thought occuring to him, he turned to Legolas.
"Legolas, is this Mirkwood?"
Legolas shook his/her head. Gimli sighed.
"Ah well, the road goes ever on! TO THE CASTLE!" And with that the two ran off, with the triumphant fellowship soundtrack playing in the background. You know, the track with the big french horn melody that plays as the three hunters race across Rohan? Of course you do. If only the hobbits were as lucky.
The King of Gondor looked around, and realizing he wasn't familiar with the land, began to panic. Then he mentally slapped himself. He was king! A king doesn't panic.. he improvises. Right. Well, one thing was clear. He was king..alone, lost.., somewhere.. Hurrumph, he thought. Doesn't matter WHERE I am, I'm still king around here!
Standing up tall, shoulders back, chest in, Aragorn began a noble walk. Right into a tree. FWUMP.
"Oww.."
CRACK! SNAP!
"What the?!?!"
CRACK! BRUISE!
Aragorn scuttled backwards on his hands, narrowly avoiding being decapitated by a tree.
"What magic is this?" He wondered, turning around, but only to receive a smack on his backside by the tree.
"OOOUUUUCCCccchhh! I'll show you!"
Aragorn unsheathed Anduril, and was just about to teach this oversized roll of toilet paper to respect his king, when he heard someone approaching. Hiding quickly in some shrubbery, he listened intensely. Whatever it was, it sounded like an Oliphaunt marching! Peering intently over the brush, Aragorn saw it wasn't an animal at all! Why, it was a man! A huge man. and very hairy, Aragorn thought. Perhaps this man was kin to Tom Bombadil? Taking a chance, Aragorn stepped out.
"Hello there!"
The man turned.
"Eh?
"Hellloooooo there!"
"Who're yeh?"
Aragorn paused. "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. King of Gondor!"
The giant man raced over towards him immediately.
"Are yeh a wizard or a muggle?"
Aragorn was now officially confused. "I am King of Gondor! Bow down before me!"
The man picked Aragorn up by the scruff of his neck, and began to carry him towards the castle.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! I AM YOUR KING!!! YOU OWE ME YOUR ALLEGIANCE!!!"
The man said nothing to this in reply, merely giving a sympathetic tutt and beginning to walk quicker.
"Never knew what yeh looked like. thought yeh would'a put up more 'o a struggle though. Azkaban must of really gotten teh yeh.."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * *
Meanwhile, Gimli had suddenly appeared in the woods. He had been right in the middle of trying to chop the One Ring in half when suddenly he been brought here. Instead of bringing his axe down on the ring like he had done COUNTLESS times before, Gimli looked down to see had a had slaughtered a small, furry animal. Squirrel, to be precise. Knowing what Legolas would do to him if he saw the poor, spliced creature, Gimli quickly glanced around and vainly tried to push to two halves of the animal back together.
"OOOOOhhhhh Gimili!!!" Rang a higher-than-usual elvin voice.
"Shit." Gimli murmured, still trying to attach the squirrel.
"Oh Gimli darling, THERE you are!" Legolas strode in the opening with him, to find Gimli's back to him/her? Gimli briskly turned around to face to Prince/Princess? of Mirkwood, revealing a limp squirrel with ducktape down in middle behind him. Legolas pranced over to the stump.
"Ahhhh! A squirrely squirrel!"
Gimli shut his eyes and looked away.
"It's sooo cute!!!"
Gimli opened his eyes, only to see Legolas hugging the dead squirrel. Noticing the duck tape was slipping, he promptly seperated the two and set the squirrel back down.
"Legolas? LEGOLAS! Stop nancing about for ONE SECOND and LISTEN!"
The elvin Prince/Princess immediately froze.
"We need to find out where we are." Gimli began, looking around. Spotting the castle looming in the distance, he grinned. "And that is where we shall begin!" A sudden thought occuring to him, he turned to Legolas.
"Legolas, is this Mirkwood?"
Legolas shook his/her head. Gimli sighed.
"Ah well, the road goes ever on! TO THE CASTLE!" And with that the two ran off, with the triumphant fellowship soundtrack playing in the background. You know, the track with the big french horn melody that plays as the three hunters race across Rohan? Of course you do. If only the hobbits were as lucky.