TITLE: "Adventures in Clubbing"

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove (strangelove317@hotmail.com)
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Um, I don't know. No particular spoilers. Visser Three is still Visser Three.
FEEDBACK: I'd love it.
DISCLAIMER: K. A. Applegate owns the Animorphs.
A/N: A mere two days after the original post, mostly due to threats from a few reviewers who shall remain nameless, part 2 is up! I hope you like it.
TO REVIEWERS: Jinako-chan: I'm glad you like it. I was rereading "Be Stupid" when the idea for this hit me. As for the others playing matchmaker, well, we'll just have to wait and see. I am going to say that Cassie has her suspicions about Marco and Ax, as does Tobias. And please, feel free to ramble on for ages about how good this is as much as you want. ^_~
Lisa-Ann: Yay, you put it on your favorite's list! I love you! And since I don't want to die I'll update as much as possible. Although I may not have anything till after Christmas, New Year's at the latest.

"Adventures in Clubbing"

Written by: Doctor Strangelove

My name is Marco. No real reason to tell you that, I just thought you should know who was narrating. Otherwise it could get confusing. Or, more confusing, Trust me, once this story starts to unfold you'll be staring your computer screen going "What the hell?". It's not my fault, it was a confusing string of events, some of which I don't know all of. You'd have to ask somebody else about those confusing details.

All this talk about confusing stuff is pretty ironic. I'm pretty damn confused right. Why? Well, I ran into my best friend's alien-controlled brother at a gay club run by said aliens, I just kissed one of my other very non-human friends, and adding to that, that kiss felt very... right. It's all pretty confusing, I just want to be an average sixteen year old guy. Instead I'm an animal morphing, possibly bisexual alien fighter. And I'm short.

Right now I'm still at The Sharing's little gay club, listening to some thirty something guy ramble on and on about how it's perfectly normal to have feelings of homosexuality. That there's nothing wrong with it. That The Sharing is always there is you need someone to talk to or a place to stay. I'd actually think this was a pretty helpful organization if it weren't for the fact that it was an obvious attempt to lure unsuspecting teenagers into becoming slaves to an alien invasion.

I pulled Ax off to one side of the dance floor. "I think Cassie was wrong," I whispered in his ear, "This looks like just a regular Yeerk infestation plan. It seems they're just trying to-" I stopped when I noticed something towards the back of the club.

Ax looked at me, "What is it? What-tuh."

I slowly moved closer to get a better look, "I'm not sure. Something's going on." There was a short, scrawny guy standing guard at a back door that read "RESTRICTED: EMPLOYEES ONLY". A much bigger and more muscular guy was hassling him, trying to go through the door. "I know that guy. His name's Rick. He's on the school football team. Usually picking fights with people."

"Should we help? Hell. Lp. Help." Ax asked me.

"I don't think that'll be necessary." The scrawny guy grabbed Rick by the neck and lifted him up of the ground. He turned around to open the door and threw Rick in. He landed with a loud crash. I looked around and saw that everybody else's attention was focused on the speaker. Except for the scrawny guy who was staring directly at me and Ax.

I panicked again. I grabbed Ax by the neck and pulled him into a kiss. I opened one eye and saw the scrawny guy shrug and go back to guarding the door.

After a minute I let Ax go, "You keep doing that. Eep. Ing. Doing."

I shrugged and tried to avoid making eye contact, "Well, I keep panicking. It helps us fit in. Look, I'm sorry."

Ax smiled a little, "It's okay. Kay."

I raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what he meant when everybody else on the dance floor started clapping, the speaker was finally done. A slow song started to play and Ax turned to me, "We never got to dance. Ance."

I sighed. "Okay," I said, putting my hands on his waist, "But I lead."

*****

It was the next day and I was flying back to Cassie's barn to report everything that had happened at the club. Well, not everything. I planned on leaving out kissing and dancing with Ax. It wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to go shouting from the rooftops. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it. As much as I hate to admit it, it was very nice and not as weird as you'd think. But it was the sort of thing better left to people who could handle it.

Hey, Marco. My thoughts were interrupted as a red-tailed hawk flew up beside me. How was the club?

I didn't like the tone in his voice. How much did Ax tell you?

I swear, if birds could smirk that would be what Tobias would've been doing, Twice?

I mentally sighed, birds can't do the actual act of sighing. I panicked alright? The whole atmosphere had me very confused.

I'll bet. And with that Tobias flew ahead of me into the rafters of Cassie's barn.

I landed, demorphed and walked on in. Funny, I thought, That's how this whole thing started. Rachel and Cassie were there, as was Tobias, but Ax was nowhere to be found. "Where's Ax?"

He wanted to stay home and watch the episode of Oz he missed last night on TiVo. Tobias explained, and then added to me in private thought-speak, I won't say anything.

I gave a little nod of thanks before asking, "You have TiVo? And you get Showtime and HBO?"

Tobias nodded, which was weird, him being a hawk and all, And Cinemax.

I was dumbstruck, "How?"

He shrugged, which was as weird, if not weirder than, the nod, Ax hooked it all up.

"And you have no problem with the fact that you're stealing cable?" Cassie, ever the noble one, asked.

No, not really.

She sighed but suddenly perked up, "Do you get Animal Planet?" Tobias nodded. I wish he'd stop doing that. "So, Marco," Cassie said, turning to me. Well obviously she turned to me, I was the only Marco there. "How did the club go?"

I thought back about the previous night's events, "Let's see, I had some really good hot wings. Listened to some good music. Ran into some weird blue-haired girl who swore she knew me from somewhere."

Cassie sighed again. There was a lot of that going around lately, "Anything Yeerk related?"

I smiled, I had known what she meant, "It all seemed like it was an average Yeerk infestation station. Whoa, say that five times fast. Although, there was weird thing. There was little scrawny guy guarding some back door."

Rachel scoffed, "That's not that weird."

"Well there's more to it," I answered sharply, "Some big jock was trying to get through, and the scrawny guy grabbed him by the neck and threw him pretty hard into a back room. It was pretty weird."

Cassie nodded, "Sounds like it. Anything else?"

I paused for a moment, thinking if I should mention it or not, "Well, I ran into Tom."

That got their attention. "Tom?" Rachel and Cassie said simultaneously. "Jake's brother, my cousin, Tom?" Rachel continued, "What was he doing there?"

I shrugged, "Well, he could've been just working there on Yeerk business or he might be..." The word "gay" just didn't seem to want to come out of my mouth, "He might have another reason."

Rachel sat there in disbelief while Cassie was deep in thought, "I have an idea. But, you're not going to like it, Marco."

I didn't like your last one and that turned out pretty well. I thought. "I didn't like your last one and I still went through with it." I said.

She avoided eye contact with me, "Well, it does look the Yeerks are up to something suspicious at the club so it'd be good if we could find that out. That might be easier to do if we had an inside source. Like Tom."

I didn't get what Cassie was getting at, "But Tom doesn't trust me enough to let me in on what's going with the club."

Cassie looked up at me, "He might if you were his boyfriend."

I glared at her, "I don't think you should be leader anymore."