Author's note: Here we go again! Finally…I thought this one would never get finished. I do apologize for taking so long, it surprised even me, but it is a long chapter so maybe that makes up for the wait. Euh, I hope anyway! How do I always get myself in such a mess? vbg Well, what more can I say…the mystery continues… Thank you all for reviewing, and I'm sure you know I'm not lying when I say it helps when you're stuck to continue!!!
Nicky - Prophetess Of Hearts - Luna Rose / Phoenix Child - Saerry Snape - Tegan – Polgara – Orange - Aqua Child – Severitus … You make my day!
I can tell you this, without revealing too much. The dream is important and it will be explained. And Severitus rest assured I'm not trying to kill you! vbg Who would review?
Well I have babbled enough, on with the story…. Enjoy!!!
Title: Untold Past, Unknown Future
Author: Dagmar De Meyer
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, that is the property of J.K. Rowling. I only borrowed what she started and had them play in my mind twists. One character however will be of my own creation, you'll soon find out.
Rated: Better make it PG although I still think it is G. Don't want to offend anyone with certain expressions.
Reviews: Oh, yes please… For better or worse I suppose.
Summary: My take on 'Severitus's challenge'. What if Severus Snape is Harry's father?! Voldemort is still on the loose and who is the lady with the violet eyes!
Untold Past, Unknown Future Chapter 6By Dagmar De Meyer
"Harry, Harry…wake up!" Ron yelled, shaking his friend who was wildly trashing about, screaming his lungs out.
Finally after what seemed hours but was only a minute Ron felt Harry calm down. Still, his hands pressing down on Harry's shoulders Ron waited with Neville by his side for Harry to wake up. Harry's eyes flew open panicking when he felt himself being pushed down.
"Calm down Harry!" Ron yelled again, fighting Harry.
The voice of his friend registering in his panicked mind Harry relaxed a bit.
"I'm alright." He managed to say between gasping breaths.
"Are you sure?" Ron asked sitting on the bed next to Harry. "You were screaming really loud. You gave us a heart attack, you know!"
"Sorry." Harry whispered, his mind not really with what Ron was saying but trying to remember what had him screaming in the first place.
"Harry, was it Vol… You-Know-Who?"
Pressing his hand to his forehead. "I think so. I'm not sure." He heard Neville gasp and looked up.
Forcing a small smile, "don't worry Neville, nothing happened, go back to bed."
"Are you sure Harry?" Neville asked as he climbed back in his bed.
"Yeah, all of you I'm fine. Sorry if I woke you up, I'll try to scream more silently next time."
Ron wasn't convinced and stayed were he was.
"Ron, really, I'm quite alright, go to bed."
"OK."
Not really believing Harry, Ron returned to his own bed, closed the curtains and left Harry alone. Soon the dormitory was filled with sounds of sleep. But not Harry, no he lay awake staring at the ceiling. What had he been dreaming? It was slipping away, the images a blur only the pain remained, such pain. His eyelids slowly closed and soon he to was fast a sleep and this time until morning.
* * * * * *
The first week of school went rather uneventful. Well as uneventful as one can expect at Hogwarts a school full of witchcraft and wizardry. So far Neville had already burned two cauldrons in potions, Trelawney had only predicted Harry's dead once. Which was a big surprise to Harry whom had expected his demise more eventful then just falling of his broomstick.
Speaking of broomsticks; Quidditch! Small problem; Gryffindor was short a Keeper and a Captain. Harry caught McGonagall mentioning Oliver Wood more then once during their meetings. Everyone wanted Harry to be Captain, everyone that is, except Harry. Yes next year maybe, but not yet I want to enjoy just being Seeker for a while longer. After much debate it was decided that both George and Fred Weasley would be Captain. Debate is a big word, to their surprise McGonagall readily agreed. Something about the twins needing the responsibility. The Keeper however was another matter, which seemed unsolvable.
All in all Harry's first week back was just a school week, not counting Neville's exploding cauldrons. Potions was as horrible as ever, and yet again with the Slytherins. As was Care of Magical Creatures which Hagrid devoted, much to Ron's despair and making him swear he was dropping the class, to spiders. Their first homework came from DADA. Professor Evans had given them the assignment to write a paper about their thoughts of what DADA should be. And although with the exception of Hermione the entire class had grumbled, they were looking forward to more active lessons and duels, Harry found himself enjoying the assignment. Still the promise of dueling sessions made up for a lot. Professor Evans was very friendly but firm and rumor had it that half the Slytherin's 5th years had detention with Filch.
The search about Professor Evans wasn't going very well. Even Hermione was frustrated at the lack of information and had gone into a heated discussion with Madame Pinch. So since then Hermione had been bugging Harry to go up to Professor Evans and just ask. She really didn't understand his reluctance. It was just a simple question. It wasn't a simple question, at least not to Harry. He never told his friends about the nightmare he had on his first night back, not that Ron didn't try and first though. Every passing day it became harder to remember. The only thing he was sure of was that Professor Evans was there and Voldemort and that he woke up with his scar hurting immensely.
The mystery surrounding Professor Evans wasn't the only thing bothering Harry. He still was no closer to an answer about his own mystery. He had started getting used to seeing two different hims morning and night, but that nobody else noticed was just frustrating and a relief at the same time. Debating with himself whether or not he should go ask Lupin had become his bedtime story. That option soon disappeared since Lupin went anyway on a mission for Dumbledore.
"Where are you going?" Harry had asked when Lupin told him.
"I can't tell you that Harry."
"Oh… Are you going to see Sirius?"
"Probably. You have something for him? If you write him a letter you can be sure he gets it when I see him."
"Yes, thanks Professor I'll have it ready before you leave."
"Harry do take care of yourself."
There it was again, that strange look in Lupin's eyes. What was going on? Harry almost screamed in frustration but kept his mouth. Lupin wasn't exactly forthcoming either.
"I'll be back around Halloween."
"OK, got to go Professor but I'll get you that letter before you leave." Harry yelled as he dashed away to his next class. Thinking whether or not he should ask his godfather about the changes.
So Lupin had left. Harry had eventually opted not to tell Sirius either and send just a small letter with Lupin. Normal stuff like, 'Hi, how are you?' 'I'm doing fine…' He was going to find answers for himself first.
Much to Ron's surprise and Hermione's delight, Harry started spending hours buried under books in the library. He was sure he was now the student best informed about Polyjuice, still he was no closer to a solution let alone a clue about what was happening to him.
Before he knew it the month October was halfway over and George and Fred were taking up all his free time for Quidditch practice. The first match was right after Halloween and low and behold it would be against Slytherin. And to make matters worse, the team was still short a keeper.
* * * * * *
The common room of Gryffindor Tower was filled with 5th years. Due to an emergency deep in the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid had cancelled today's lesson of Care of Magical creatures. Harry smiled, remembering Hagrid's excitement over his trip.
"Harry." Ron entered their dormitory and came over to where Harry was sitting.
"Yes Ron." Harry answered looking up from his book.
"I…I…You…" Ron stuttered.
Frowning Harry eyed Ron curiously. "You, I…what?" He questioned.
"I…WouldyoumindifIborrowedyourFirebolt?" Ron almost yelled the question, forgetting to breath.
First Harry looked perplexed at Ron. His brain trying to decipher what his friend had just asked. It was replaced by surprise and then it registered, a smile appearing on his face.
"Sure Ron, but bring it back in one piece." Harry's smile grew even wider seeing the relief on Ron's face.
"Thanks Harry."
Ron jumped of the bed and waited for Harry to retrieve the broom from his trunk.
"Thank you." Ron said, accepting the Firebolt. Holding it very careful as if it might break at his touch.
"What are you going to do? Sitting here buried in your book? Honestly Harry, you're spending way too much time with Hermione. Who at this very moment is on her way to the library AGAIN."
"Really, maybe I should join her." Harry answered.
"Harry, you're scarring me. If you really want to know about Professor Evans, I'm starting to agree with Hermione, just ask the lady already."
But Harry wasn't listening anymore, engrossed in the book on his lap. Ron shook his head and with the priced Firebolt in his hand he left Harry to his book.
* * * * * *
As soon as Ron had left, Harry jumped of the bed, picked up his book bag and slowly made his way down the stairs. Hermione was going to the library. He had wasted enough time, he needed help. At the bottom of the stairs he halted and looked around the common room. Dean and Seamus were doing homework; Ron was nowhere to be seen. Harry felt a stab of guilt from sneaking behind Ron's back. He was still working up the courage to talk to Hermione.
Quickly he crossed the common room and climbed out of the opening into the corridor. Not quite running he headed towards the library and Hermione.
* * * * * *
This better be good." Snape mumbled to himself, making his way up the spiral staircase to the headmaster's office.
"Come in Severus." The Headmaster's voice was heard as Snape approached the door.
"Ah, there you are Severus." Dumbledore said, watching Severus over his half-moon glasses.
"Lemon Drop?" He offered, already knowing the answer.
Snape stood, back straight watching the Headmaster, a look of pure annoyance on his face, one that had every student making a D-tour via the Astronomy Tower just to avoid the Potions Master's wrath. Not Dumbledore, he merely sat there smiling.
"You are angry with me." He stated, the smile never leaving his face.
"What ever gave you that idea?" Severus asked in mock surprise.
"Well, for one, you have been avoiding me for weeks now."
"Hum, you noticed…"
Dumbledore sighed, the smile disappearing. "Severus it was wrong of me not to inform you of Violet's return."
"You think… Albus if I'm here to hear you apologize, there is no need. You did what you did; nothing you say now will change the past. Now I have a lesson to prepare. If you will excuse me."
Snape ended his speech and started for the door, not waiting for Dumbledore's reaction. Suddenly a strong hand gripped his shoulder and he was whirled around coming face to face with Dumbledore.
Who would have thought the old man still possessed such strength?
"I will not excuse you. If I had told you about Violet's return, what would you have done? We needed your reaction to be convincing Severus. Maybe I was wrong, maybe you would have put forth a fantastic performance. Don't you understand, I wouldn't risk your safety more then I have to."
Snape was trembling, fist clenching, unclenching. Why was it that Albus was always right?
Not receiving a response Dumbledore continued.
"If Voldemort even suspects you being aware of her return…. Go to her, talk to her."
"NO!" Snape shouted. "After her betrayal to me I have no need to talk to her."
Snape watched as Dumbledore released him. The man seemed to age ten years in mere seconds.
"She didn't betray you, she was not given much of a choice."
Staring at Albus, Severus relaxed a bit. Maybe he should go and talk to her. But then again, Vi hadn't really gone out of her way to talk to him either.
"How long has it been since your last summoning?" Dumbledore asked bringing Snape back out of his musings.
"Too long."
"Any Dark Revels?"
"None."
"Lucius?"
"No, well just to remind me and make sure I treat Draco with the respect he deserves, being a Malfoy and all." Snape snorted. "Our yearly ritual, nothing to worry about."
"Has he mentioned Violet?"
"Not yet, I doubt that will last though. The way she is treating Draco. Don't look at me like that Albus, she's treating Draco as he deserves. I doubt he sees it that way though. I just wish she would be more careful. As soon as Lucius hears who she is, I'm sure I'll get a summoning before I can say Quidditch."
"I'll speak with her."
A deep sigh escaped Snape, his shoulders slumped. "No. I'll speak with my wife. For as you know, it's a conversation long overdue."
His trademark sneer in place Snape headed for the door. "Good day Albus."
"Severus."
He was gone, leaving Dumbledore alone with his thoughts. His eyes twinkling merrily, 'my wife' there is hope for you yet Severus.
* * * * * *
"Hermione, Hermione, wait up." Harry yelled, taking the stairs at a run.
Hearing her name Hermione turned around and saw Harry running towards her.
"Hi Harry." Hermione said once he reached the top of the stairs.
"He…Hermione." Harry managed to say, completely out of breath from his mad rush.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out practicing Quidditch!"
A look of hurt on his face, trying to hid his smile Harry picked up his book bag and followed Hermione down the corridor. "Well, just so you know, my whole life doesn't evolve around Quidditch."
"Oh really."
"Yeah, really. That and the fact that Ron just came to borrow my Firebolt so… I think he's going to enter the tryouts for keeper." Harry smiled.
"Oh brother, another one." Hermione exclaimed but smiled as well.
"And three." Harry paused. "I need your help."
There he said it.
"What with?" Hermione asked, looking curiously at Harry who in turn was busy counting the tiles on the floor as he walked over them.
"Harry?"
"Not here. I'll tell you when we get to the library."
"OK."
Silently the two friends made their way down the corridor to the library at the end. Neither of them noticed the trio following until a drawling voice made them turn around.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Potty and the Mudblood."
"So Mudblood, after 4 years you finally managed to get Potty all to yourself." Draco sneered.
Hermione felt herself blushing but kept her mouth shut. Harry on the other hand was not as good at controlling his anger towards Malfoy.
"Mudblood! Now there's a word I haven't heard in a long time."
The startled 5th years stared as Professor Evans closed the door of the DADA classroom and approached them.
"Is there a conference going on I was not made aware of? Shouldn't you all be in class right now!" Professor Evans asked, looking from one student to the other.
"No Professor, we have a free period. Harry and I are on our way to the library." Hermione quickly explained, Harry was still shooting daggers at Malfoy.
"Mr. Malfoy, I assume you and your friends had the same thing in mind?" Professor Evans asked turning to Draco.
"Yes M'am." Draco drawled.
"Very well of you go."
Harry and Hermione didn't need more coaching and headed towards the library doors. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle not far behind when the voice of Professor Evans stopped them.
"Oh, Mr. Malfoy, if I ever hear you call Miss. Granger or anybody else for that matter a Mudblood again, having to spend an hour in the library against your wishes will be the least of your problems."
* * * * * *
He was going to talk to Vi tonight. How he hated it when Albus was right. He really should have talked to her weeks ago. Every night he wanted to go to her, be with her, feel her against him, in his arms. Hell, he didn't care, just so he could touch her. But he couldn't, the pain and anger of her betrayal was still so fresh and now Albus said he was wrong that she had never betrayed him. But what of the nightmare he had had, one that had slipped away from him so quickly he hardly remembered it. Just the pain, the pain he remembered clearly. This was so confusing. "I'm going to talk to her."
At the back of his mind a memory was pushing forward.
No, I don't want to see this now.
***He felt dirty, repulsive… How could he have done this? She was only a child! Because your Lord expected it from you. Severus shivered involuntarily, not from cold since it was a beautiful summers night, but from guilt. He had killed again and each time he did a part of him died to. How was he going to face Violet now? Being the excellent actor he was he never managed to fool her. No, she always knew, taking him in her arms, holding him as he cried himself to sleep, never judging him. He knew she didn't hate him or was angry with him, he just saw her pain. Numerous times he had come home finding Lily and James trying to get her to come with them. That he was a lost cause. He saw the anger from James, the disappointment from Lily. They were right; she should just pack up and leave, never look back, but she didn't and guilty as he felt he wanted her to stay. She was his light in the dark. Would he ever be free of the dark? He doubted it; he had sold his soul to the devil for all eternity.
She was pregnant, pregnant with his child. Voldemort had been thrilled by the news. He immediately regretted telling him. What was he thinking?? His Lord could have him, but never his family. He snorted, whom was he kidding? So far he had danced around the subject, but soon the child would be born and Voldemort expected Snape to bring the baby for pre-initiation. Young Draco Malfoy had gone through it, making Lucius beam with pride, Snape only felt sick. That was the day he realized they had been right all along Lily, Violet and James. Damn that man. The day he saw through his Master and discovered the monster.
Clearing the woods he stopped dead in his tracks. Above what used to be his home, now only rubble, a Dark Mark hung in the air. Feeling his legs give way he fell to his knees, his hands to his chest as he felt his heart break. Slowly the sound of crying reached him, willing himself to stand he started running, stumbling over bits and pieces of the burned down cottage towards the sound.
"VIOLET." He yelled, frantically looking around. Finally he spotted the lonely figure on her knees crying. Falling on his knees beside her, he gently pushed his fingers through her hair. She gasped and looked up. This wasn't Vi.
"Lily?" He croaked.
"Severus… Oh, God Severus, you must go. Go now; James is coming back with the Aurors. Please Severus go." Lily begged him, tears streaming down her face.
He stared at her and then at the still burning fires scattered around.
"Where is she?" His voice barely a whisper.
"Dead." Was her only response.
"NOOOOOO."
The pain, the pain was unbearable. Ten times the Cruciatus but not this. His wife, his child, his light gone. In that instant his heart turned cold and all faded black. Unaware of the approaching figures, unaware of anything for months on end. All he wanted to do was die.***
He shook himself back to the present, shivering with emotions left from the memory.
He didn't die, no he didn't. Thanks to Albus and Lily. Ha, yeah both of them made sure he pulled through and he did for Vi and his child. They died because of him and if spying for Albus would help make those deaths and all the others before not be in vain, it was worth all the 'crucios' in the world. He threw himself on his new job with such intensity that Albus needed convincing at first he was still with him. He need not have feared, Severus would never go back willingly to that snake like monster. He owed Dumbledore his life, even though he wasn't sure he wanted it. The only thing he never forgave Albus for was to partner him up with James. Perfect James Potter parading around with his son. Never doing anything wrong, always right. Everytime he saw James with Harry his heart broke all over again, wondering with longing what it would have been like if it had been his.
Now here he was again, spying for the light and the reason that started it all was standing only a few feet away from him, very much alive.
* * * * * *
"Still favouring your own house I see."
That voice, she knew that voice, it made her heart leap. Keeping her eyes on the five students before her she answered. "Must I believe that you do not?"
"Of course he does, Professor Snape is our Head of House." Draco blurted out.
"Mr. Malfoy." Snape said a warning in his voice.
"But Sir, Crabbe, Goyle and I were just going to the library and Potter and the Mudblood wouldn't let us pass." Draco whined.
Hermione gasped, Harry balled his fists, Crabbe and Goyle sniggered, Malfoy looked the innocence self and Violet just stared at the obvious lie. Of course it was a lie, Snape knew but he had a reputation to keep.
"Really, I should have known it was you Potter, as always, 10 points from Gryffindor.
"Professor, I… we." Harry protested.
"Silence or do you want me to make it 20? Get out of my sight, all of you." Snape glanced over at Vi, was it disappointment he saw, no it was pain. Taking a deep breath, he turned to her fully, completely ignoring the retreating students.
"Professor Evans, we need to talk!" He said.
Slowly the red head turned upwards and those deep purple pools made him dizzy. The look he had seen before was gone, only to be replaced by a mischievous smile.
"Mr. Malfoy." She called after the group, never loosing his gaze. "I warned you before about your fascination with a particular word, did I not? 10 points from Slytherin."
With that she turned on her heels and walked away, her robes gracefully flowing around her body. He followed, robes billowing behind him. It was quite the sight.
* * * * * *
Watching the two Professors go Harry made up his mind.
"Hermione, I'll meet you in the library. I have to go ask Professor Evans something." Harry said handing Hermione his book bag.
Hermione gasped, form surprise of Harry's statement and the weight of carrying two book bags now.
"Harry, you want to talk to her now? She's with Snape, can't this wait?" Hermione yelled after him.
"No it can't, I'll come back, promise." Harry yelled back running after his two professors.
* * * * * *
They walked in silence, ignoring the occasional stare from a passing student.
"You haven't changed much." He said, breaking the silence, she didn't respond.
"I'm sure I have." He continued.
This was so weird.
"Yes, you have. I don't like the mask you wear."
"I'm still alive because of it."
"I know. Albus explained…sort of. I'm sorry Severus, I …" She fought her tears.
Not wanting to see them he interrupted.
"You should be more careful around Draco. You do know who his father is!"
She sighed. "Yes I'm well aware of that."
"Then you also know what would happen if he told…"
"That I also know very well. I don't really care though."
Hearing her comment he stopped, watching her walk a few more paces before she realized he wasn't following her anymore, she looked back.
"What?"
"Are you insane?" He growled.
"I have been told that on a few occasions." She smiled a bit.
"Vi…" He struggled with his words and emotions.
"I… After 15 years not knowing what happened to you and the baby you appear out of nowhere alive and well. I know Voldemort was at the source of it all but I never figured out how. If he hears of you being here and the way your going about it I'm sure he will. He'll come after you and, and me."
She looked up at him, uncertainty in her eyes. As she spoke her eyes looked at everything except at him.
"I don't fear Voldemort, not anymore and I'm very much aware of the danger that lies in my actions. But I would never willingly endanger you. My life isn't worth much anyway and if I can weaken Voldemort even a little by what will surely happen. So be it!"
Snape was shocked. What was she talking about?
His response was lost in the sound of running feet and the callings of a young boy.
* * * * * *
"Professor Evans, Professor Evans. Can I have a word with you?" For the second time that day Harry was completely out of breath, panting heavily.
Snape's anger towards Violet turned towards Harry.
"Mr. Potter I believed, no I know you don't have much of a brain in that head of yours, I was however sure you had eyes. Can you not see Professor Evans and I are having a private conversation!"
If looks could kill Snape would be dead now.
Taken aback by the angry look Vi gave him Snape bit his tongue and watched Harry with a scowl on his face, one that soon turned into curiosity.
Harry wasn't too happy with Snape being there but at the same time it gave him the courage to ask Professor Evans about his mother.
"What can I help you with Harry?" Vi asked. Man she felt nervous and that because of a 15-year-old boy. Oh but it wasn't just any boy.
In class she managed to keep her nerves in check, here alone with Harry and Snape they seemed to explode throughout her entire body. Why was Severus so mean to Harry? Then it hit her, he doesn't know! They never told him. Forcing her attention fully on Harry she listened to his question.
"Professor I was wondering, well I … I would like to ask, are you…" Harry fumbled with his words, not really knowing how to ask his teacher something that would probably sound very stupid.
"Oh, for crying out loud Potter, spit it out, we haven't got all day." Snape said annoyance evident in his voice.
"Severus!" Vi snapped, receiving a curious glance from both Snape and Harry who was still searching for words.
"Is Evans your maiden name?" Harry started.
"Yes it is."
"Well you see my mother's maiden name was Evans to and you kinda look like her and I was wondering whether you and she were related?" Harry helt his breath waiting for an answer, not sure what he wanted to hear.
A sad smile played around her lips, she had been expecting this and was surprised he took so long to ask her. Then again she had gone out of her way not to be too close to him at any time. She gazed into those vivid green eyes again, what should she say?
"Yes, Harry we were related. So are you and I for that matter. Lily Evans-Potter was my sister." Strange she thought how well she kept the tremble out of her voice, the hands behind her back however were trembling. She watched as Harry absorbed the information. This tiny bit of information, oh how she wanted to just tell him everything. She couldn't it would break his heart. The stories she had heard from Dumbledore and the evidence she saw with her own eyes at Petunia's made her heart ache for the boy, but what secrets she held would have to wait. Was it even necessary to make his world, shaky as it was crumble down around him?
The emotions were written clearly on his face, happiness, confusion, sadness and pain. Pain, such pain that linked them together, it wasn't fair.
"So, then you are my aunt! Like aunt Petunia! Does this mean she is your sister to?" Harry made a face at that last sentence.
A small chuckle escaped her at the mention of Petunia. "Yes Harry, Petunia is my sister to. Although I often wondered how that was possible."
"Yeah, I wondered that myself, well about her being related to my mother." Harry answered.
There was that knife again, twisting around. Her hands started shaking even more and she had to clasp them behind her back.
Harry shifted nervously from one foot to the other.
Snape watched intently at the two in front of him. Both were unbelievable nervous when together. Snape had noticed before Vi wasn't to keen on talking with Harry and rarely mentioned him on teachers meetings when others did frequently, and now she was simply shaking. He had expected them to hit it of immediately, the fact that Harry was here asking about Vi and Lily being related meant he didn't know that little fact. Another small piece to that ever-growing puzzle, which to his dismay was far from completion.
He watched the boy intently, the conversation he had had with Lupin still fresh in his memory. That first night at the Feast he had thought Lupin right. Impossible as it was, when he laid eyes on Harry that evening a completely different boy sat at the Gryffindor table. A boy with such a resemblance to Snape himself, it was scary but now there was not a trace of what he had seen that night. Forcing his mussing to the back of his mind he tuned back in on the conversation.
"Then why didn't Dumbledore bring me to stay with you after my parents died?" Harry asked, the pain and confusion now plainly in his voice.
"Maybe because your aunt was nowhere to be found!" Snape spat.
The pain exploding across his face made him stagger backwards. In a daze he watched as Vi cradled her hand. She had slapped him. Her eyes burning with rage, her body trembling. Soon his confusion disappeared and a mask of anger crossed his face.
"Why you…" Snape growled, but the person of his wrath had already turned her back to him.
"Harry I know you are confused and want answers. Right now however doesn't seem to be the right time or place." Vi said glancing back to where Snape was standing. "How about we talk later tonight, after Quidditch practice. I have to supervise so maybe when you're finished?" Violet said, looking at Harry expectantly. One part of her hoping he would say no, the other hoping he would say yes. This game had gone on long enough. There was so much she needed to tell Harry. Coward she scolded herself. She was a coward, all the promises she had made to herself, every time she managed to find some excuses getting out of them. Foolish, not knowing how long she had in this form, she should use every second she was handed. First Severus, then Harry…
Harry was dumb folded, staring mouth wide open at his professors. Had Professor Evans just slapped Snape? He barely heard what was said. Oh she was talking to him. What had she just said?
Quidditch, practice, tonight, he could only nod.
"I'll see you tonight Harry." He heard Professor Evans say.
"Yes, tonight." He mumbled his response.
Still staring from Snape to Violet and back again, Harry forced his feet to start moving, making his way back down the corridor, his head reeling. When he reached the library doors he turned back but both were gone.
* * * * * *
Hermione had settled herself in one of the library's furthest corners she could find. Madame Pinch tried to keep order, but when students started going in and out it was far from quiet. Even now with not a student in sight, Hermione preferred her quiet corner.
Bend over one of the library's volume books on Aritmacy, Hermione worked on her homework. Soon her mind drifted not really seeing the words. Harry, yes Harry something strange was going on with him. Now thinking about it Hermione realized that she had noticed this as soon as she saw him at the Leaky Cauldron during summer. Convincing herself she was being paranoid she had let it drop. Now Harry needed her help and by the look on his face it was not about homework. Where was he? Focusing her mind back on her homework Hermione missed Harry entering and walking up to where she was sitting.
"Hermione."
A scream escaped her before her hand flew to her mouth. "Harry don't scare me like that."
"Sorry." Harry mumbled, letting himself fall down in the vacant chair opposite Hermione.
"Harry what happened? Did you speak with Professor Evans?" Hermione questioned.
"Yeah…I did." Harry mumbled, staring down at his hands.
"And…" Hermione sat straighter up, her elbows on the table leaning closer to Harry. "…what did she say?"
Harry looked up in the curious face of his friend. Yeah what had she said?
He sighed. "Well I just found out I have an aunt I never knew about."
"Really, she told you that?"
"Not in as many words, she admitted Lily Evans, my mother, was her sister. So what else does that make her?" His hands on his forehead Harry closed his eyes. His head hurt from a forming headache. Something he was getting more frequently lately.
"But Harry…that's great!" Hermione exclaimed, big smile on her face. It quickly disappeared when she noticed Harry wasn't smiling at all.
"Isn't it?"
"Oh yeah, it's just FANTASTIC." Harry sneered his voice full of sarcasm.
Hermione looked a little taken aback by his statement but waited for Harry to finish.
"I mean, for years people lie to me about who I am. Even now everybody knows about Harry Potter except Harry Potter. My whole life forgotten at the Dursleys, each summer I go back to the Dursleys and why? Well Harry they are the only family you've got. And now out of the blue this aunt shows up, a witch at that and does she tell me! Oh no, I have to go and ASK!" Harry was trembling; the confusion of before was replaced by anger.
After his outburst Hermione left Harry seething and remained quiet. The revelation puzzled her; Professor Evans was always friendly and came right to the point. Why would she keep something like that from Harry? Hermione agreed with what Ron had last said. Professor Evans is as much a mystery as Professor Snape. Thank God she's not such a git though.
Harry had calmed down a bit.
"Harry…"
"It's OK Hermione, it just hurts that's all." Harry whispered.
"I'm sure she had her reasons." Hermione tried.
"I guess. She wants to see me later after Quidditch."
"See, there you go."
"Hum… She seemed reluctant talking in front of Snape." Harry smiled at his mentioning Snape.
"What?" Hermione questioned seeing the smile on Harry's face.
"She slapped him."
"Slapped who?"
"Snape, she slapped him!"
"Really? Why?"
"Snape wasn't particularly happy with me being there and he got annoyed. He was his usual self and she slapped him." The both of them started laughing as Harry remembered the incident and Hermione just had to imagine, all anger forgotten for the moment.
Curiosity getting the better of her Hermione had to ask.
"Harry, what did you want to ask me earlier?"
Hermione watched as Harry's smile disappeared.
Hearing Hermione's question Harry felt his smile disappear and his stomach squeeze together, his nerves taking over again. He had come this far, he might as well tell her and willing to admit it or not, he needed help.
Taking a deep breath he sat a bit straighter, wringing his hand nervously.
"Hermione…" Harry started not looking up. "This is very strange and confusing for me and I hate doing this behind Ron's back, but you must promise not to tell him. Not yet anyway, not before I we find some answers."
"I…I promise." Hermione stammered. "Harry what's wrong?"
"Honestly, I don't know, that's why I need your help."
* * * * * *
As soon as Harry had turned his back and was well away down the corridor, Snape grabbed Violet's arm and pulled her with him.
"Ai, Severus, let go of my arm."
He didn't respond, didn't look at her, just kept on walking, and pulling her along.
"Severus, were are we going?"
Still no answer, she could easily guess where he was taking her. The one place he knew best, where they wouldn't be disturbed, the dungeons.
He had had enough, she could tell. She didn't blame him but that gave him no excuse to tread her like a piece of equipment that you holed around.
"All right, all right, I'm coming… Let me go!"
Earning a deadly glare, she felt the grip on her arm loosen and the pain ease a bit. Maneuvering his hand behind her back he pushed her gently forward so she was walking ahead of him. She felt his eyes burn holes in the back of her head. Oh this was ridiculous.
Control, he needed control…ever since she came back he felt it slipping away from him. The emotions whirling around in his heart, the questions making his mind dizzy. This game would end tonight.
Holding her arm in a vice he dragged her along. He was hurting her, he knew but he wasn't going to let go, not again.
Control, I need control…
What did she say? Let her go? No I can't.
I let her go, I can't hurt her. She'll run, I'm sure. She doesn't but follows.
Stepping behind her I place my hand on her back, feeling its movements as she walks in front of me. I linger longer then is necessary.
No, control, I need control.
"Wait." Snape growled, coming to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. Turning to a blank part of the wall he pulled out his wand and whispered an incantation. Moving his wand from left to right, a string of green trailing the wall. It disappeared to reveal an archway.
Stepping back he indicated for Violet to enter and quickly followed, the archway immediately vanished and darkness surrounded them. Not a sound was heard only their breathing, one calm the other increasing rapidly.
A choked whisper. "Severus…light."
The panic in her voice scarred him. "Lumos." The tip of his wand started glowing and one by one torches lining the walls came to live and in the fireplace flames shot up immediately warming the cold room.
Vi was on her knees by his feet, one hand pressed on the cold floor steadying her, the other on her chest willing herself to calm down, her lungs to breath again. He was on his knees in an instant, trying very hard to keep the panic out of his voice.
"Vi, what's wrong, talk to me."
Not getting a response, he gently lifted her chin and turned her to face him. Her face white as a sheet, her violet eyes wide with panic, her breath short and rapid. She was in shock.
"Dark, I don't like the dark."
"No more dark, I promise." He watched her as she fought for control.
Her body still trembling from shock, Vi pushed herself up, at least that's what she tried. Feeling her knees go numb she swayed unsteadily a prepared for the fall. It never came as strong arms encircled her, lifted her up and held her tight.
Severus saw it coming and was prepared; catching her in mid fall he picked her up and carried her to the sofa.
"Thank you." Vi whispered.
For only a second his eyes showed his concern, his love, all his emotions that associate with her. It didn't last long and she saw an almost visible wall go up between them. His mask firmly in place he walked away. The tension filling the room is stiffening as Snape paced the length of the room near the fireplace. Out of the corner of his eyes watching Violet intently, waiting for her to start.
Very well aware of his looming presence she tried to ignore him. The panic still present in her body and mind. She had thought she got over that particular fear, apparently not. Sighing she looked up and watched him pace.
"Severus, sit down. You'll wear a hole in the ground."
Not amused, Snape send a glare at her, turning and continued his pacing.
"You were gone for so long. Weeks of waiting, hoping you were all right and would come back. Lily and James trying to get me to go with them. Albus coming up several times a week to check up on me. Even Minerva, fussing over the fact that I hadn't gained enough weight, insisting I came back with her to Hogwarts. But I didn't listen, I was so sure, I so believed in the fact that you would choose me, us over his hollow promises." A bitter laugh escaped her. "Oh, I know, foolish little girl I was believing my handsome dark prince would turn his back to the dark lure of power and settle for little old me. When your letters stopped coming you could say I completely lost it. Lily spent those last two weeks next to my bed. Taking care of me and the baby… Oh Severus forgive me I almost killed it." Her voice filled with tears.
His head snapped up and he whirled around.
Vi didn't give him a change to respond as she continued she looked at everything except the man she dreamed of for so long standing only a few feet away.
"I know you hate me. For all the things I put you trough and the only thing I can say is that I am sorry. But you must believe me Severus that it was not by choice. I never left you… There are so many gaps in my memory." Closing her eyes she leaned back and willed herself to recall her nightmares.
"Lily had left after I finally convinced her I would be alright. The baby was doing fine and I would just stay in bed and rest. The Order had a meeting that night and she needed to attend.
I remember getting up, my back hurting terrible and then nothing…" She paused, her eyes still shut tight never seeing Severus take his seat next to her on the sofa, hanging on her every word. The pain etched in his pale face. This was all his fault.
As if reading his mind Vi continued. "Don't blame yourself Severus, you could not have stopped him. Besides at the time I'm not even sure you would have wanted to." A wear smile on her lips.
"How they found me is anyone's guess they just did. I woke up surrounded by darkness and the stench and feel of blood all around me. Someone dragged me up to see him."
Another pause, she dreamed of this every night and somehow survived the night. Now having to relive it all out loud made it so much worst. Talking about your fears might help afterwards but recalling it willingly was something different.
Opening her eyes Vi noticed Severus was no longer pacing. Sitting beside her, his face…open no longer wearing his mask so carefully constructed. This was the Severus she knew and loved. Her heart squeezed together at the thought of all the pain he had known and all of it that was still to come. She was the one that would add even more to it.
"So many, all waiting for me. Playing their sick little games, all too eager to see my pain and ultimately my death. He mocked me, threatened me. How I betrayed you and him. How angry you were with me…"
Something clicked, the dream, the nightmare he had had all those weeks ago came back flooding his mind. He didn't hear her voice, didn't listen anymore just watched as the dream re-entered his mind.
The touch of her hand on his cheek made him jump and he was jerked back to reality. The dream simmering evilly in the back of his mind. The softness of her hand made him shiver. Looking into those pools of purple was like looking into her soul. She wasn't hiding from him, showed him everything, from her pain to her love but also fear. Fear of him? Startled by it he briefly wondered why she would fear him. It was gone in a second; nonetheless it had been there. He watched as a similar mask to his own claimed her and all the emotions she had shown him were gone.
His entire being screamed at him to hold her but his mind kept him back, he couldn't, he wasn't ready.
"I don't like the mask you wear." His voice a whisper instead of the sneer he intended.
"I learned from the master." Vi answered, her voice cold and distant. She had seen his reaction, seen the love growing beneath the anger inside him. She couldn't have that. He had a right to know what had happened but she needed him cold and distant for she couldn't bear to think of the pain she would certainly put him through once again. Time was limited she knew that all too well and part of it had already been wasted by her own fears.
He was so close, feeling his presence beside her. How she longed for him to hold her. One more time, to feel safe and protected, not a care in the world. NO, stop this! You know that is impossible. It still hurts though.
Vi stood and walked to the fireplace, not seeing the outstretched hand.
"Why do you hate him so much?" Vi asked staring into the flames.
Severus blinked, surprise on his face.
"Sorry?"
"Harry, why do you hate him so much?" Vi asked again.
What was she talking about? The sudden change of topic dazzled him. And why was it that it all came back to Potter!? The look of confusion was soon replaced by his customary scowl. His features hardening at the mere mention of Potter.
"I just do." Snape growled. "Whatever has Potter got to do with this?"
"Everything! Now answer the question Severus. 'Just do' won't cut it." Vi shot back.
Getting up himself, Snape walked over to stand next to Vi.
"I thought we were talking about you, not me and certainly not Potter."
Vi sighed and asked again. "Why do you hate Harry so much?"
Snape glared at her but answered.
"He's a spoiled brat. Goes out of his way to be the oh so famous little boy. He has no regard for rules whatsoever, breaks them at his own convenience…and, and he's James' son!" Snape yelled.
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Black and violet eyes glared at each other, anger burning but for such different reasons. Violet was the first to look away and as she watched the dancing flames she found her voice, trying very hard to control her anger. She opened her mouth as if to say something when a knock on the wall interrupted her.
"Professor, professor…are you in there?"
Vi and Severus looked at each other. "Malfoy."
"I have to answer him."
"I know… his father and all."
"We haven't finished yet. I need you to tell me…everything."
"I'm well aware of that and I will do my best, even though it will be most difficult."
Snape watched as she crossed his chamber to the archway. Halfway there she stopped and turned around.
"You hate him because he's James Potter's son?"
He didn't answer.
"Tell me Severus, when was the last time you saw me and Lily together?"
He looked at her, eyes wide. "The day before I left…your birthday, May 20th."
He was surprised that his voice sounded so calm.
"Yes…" Vi smiled. "…I remember."
"Professor." Draco's whining voice could be heard through the wall.
"Who was pregnant Severus? Me or Lily?"
Turning on her heels she walked the last few paces to the wall, it shimmered and she almost collided with Draco in her hurry to get away from Severus.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
To be continued
Author's note 2: Can I come out of hiding now? Although I hit a wall more then once in this chapter I enjoyed myself immensely. Setting up conversations and actions for chapters to come and leaving you with more questions and maybe a bit of answers. Yes, I know I'm evil. Bad bad bad Dagmar… vbg
I'm not going to make any promises concerning chapter 7. If this was an example I simply can't say when I'll finish. And although I have the basics written down and a red line to follow and I do know where I'm going, sometimes my muse just runs away with it. I find it very difficult to give hints for the upcoming chapter. Well one thing is for sure; Halloween is coming… strange things happen on Halloween.
See you next chapter, let me know what you think!!!