This is basically an Intro/Prologue Chapter.
Disclaimer: Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
Many believe great storytelling is a form of art. I am one of those people. My name is Chandler Bingspeare, and I am a writer.
For years, I have been searching for a story that would force tears, crack smiles, and warm hearts all at the same time. For years, my search was endless. Until one day.
One day my life changed. And, so did the lives of those I loved. In this, I found my story. But the story I found, I did not create; the story I found, found me instead...
It was a warm day in Utopia. I was sitting by the window in my apartment, in front of my computer, trying to finish a scene for the play I was writing. I'm the playwright of a small theater in downtown Utopia. At the moment, I had been staring at the same line for over an hour. Unfortunately, writer's block was not only kicking my ass, it was painfully twisting all three of my nipples. I was so stressed that the idea of a cigarette didn't seem as appealing as the thought of jumping out my window. That's when I knew it was time to change my Nicotine patch. Then, I heard the voices.
"You-you're saying you want me to marry him?!" cried the familiar voice of Princess Rachel.
"No, Rachel...I'm TELLING you to marry him!" answered King Green. I had the advantage, which at the moment was a disadvantage, of living in the building right next to the palace. Their balcony was just a few feet above my window. I continued to stare at the screen, pretending to work in case they saw me from where they stood. The argument lasted for quite some time. And I heard every word.
"Chandler, I know you can hear me," called Rachel. I looked up onto the balcony and saw she was alone. King Green had already gone back inside. I nodded to her silently, unsure of what to say. "Are you busy? Can I come down?"
"No, I'm not busy, just trying to finish a scene. Please don't sneak out again because I know they'll just catch you and blame me and then they'll make me stay in the dungeon for the night and I really don't feel like listening to Crazy Malloy sing 'This is the song that never ends'..." Yes, I said this all in one breath. I am very multi-talented.
"Don't worry about it. My father owes me anyway. If he expects me to even CONSIDER letting that short, stumpy, bald, boring, milk-dud of a man marry me, he can at least let me enjoy the last days of my freedom..." She sighed. "And besides, I want you to see some sketches of the costumes I designed for the play."
"Yeah sure," I gave in. I saved whatever I had written on the computer, which was nothing of course, and turned it off. I then turned on the television, expecting the 6 o'clock news. Instead, I saw Lady Phoebe. She was doing a special concert in Euphoria, and they had televised it live. She was singing the song we had worked on together. I wrote the lyrics, she wrote the music. She, Rachel and I were a great team. Unfortunately, we were all from different worlds, which made it harder to work together. Rachel was royalty, Phoebe was nobility and I...well I was just a penniless writer. At the moment, because of the writer's block, I was just penniless. Well, maybe I wasn't penniless, but Visa and MasterCard had me on speed dial just in case I 'forgot' to make a payment again. I sighed miserably and waited for Rachel.
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The next day, I decided to take a walk to visit Phoebe and compliment her on such a wonderful performance. But first, I decided to splurge the entire $5 in my pocket and buy her some flowers...and a pack of cigarettes for myself. Yeah, I know what you're thinking so shut up. I really don't feel like a lecture right now. As I was standing in line, an annoying man with a very 'wet' cough decided to stand behind me and give me a germ-shower. As much as I had wanted to get Phoebe flowers, and of course the cigarettes, the mucus splattered on my hair decided against it. I put the items on the edge of the counter and rushed out the door. Blindly.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" said an angry female voice.
"Ohmigosh! I'm soooo sorry!" I apologized, shamefully, for literally running into her. Then, I stopped breathing. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life was standing right in front of me. Not only did I feel foolish, I was dumbfounded. I quickly studied her face, hoping it would stay perfectly imbedded into my memory. Her smoldering blue eyes, her raven-dark hair, her cream-colored skin, the over-all "pissed-off" expression: she was perfect.
"Uh, HELLO!" she waved her hands in front of my face. She was obviously still annoyed and I had zoned out. "I would like to get inside the store sometime before next year!" I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I felt my body move to the side. As she huffily walked past me, I noticed a blue gleam from her neckline. It was a sapphire amulet, and it was very rare. I had recognized it from somewhere before, but I couldn't remember...
Then, a realization smacked me in the face. Actually it was the store's front door. The woman had pushed the door so harshly that it swung back with almost twice as much force, nearly knocking me over. As I regained my balance, I remembered what the sapphire gleam was: The Royal Euphorian Amulet. She was the crowned princess of Euphoria! But how could that be? The Princess Monica that was publicized in tabloid magazines and Entertainment Tonight was...well...fat. I watched Barbara Walters interview her on 20/20 just a few months ago. And even if she did lose all of that weight, what was she doing in Utopia? King Geller and King Green did not exactly get along... Oh well. I took one last glance at the beautiful Princess and shrugged my shoulders. Knowing that no woman in her right mind would ever give me the time of day, especially Princess Monica Geller, I let go of the day dream and continued my walk to Phoebe's.
************
"Pheebs! You will never guess who I saw!!" I said excitedly.
"Princess Monica of Euphoria?"
I stared at her skeptically. "How the hell do you do that?"
"Yeah, I would like to credit my talent for future-telling, but then I'd just be lying and then karma would come and shave my head bald...or even worse it'd give me a mullet," she rambled. "So yeah, I saw it on the news earlier. The paparazzi have got her pinpointed. But they don't know why she's here. Man, do you see how thin she is now? She must've lost a whole other person!"
"Who lost a whole other person?" asked Rachel as she walked into the room. She took off her hat and pair of sunglasses. I assumed she let herself in.
"Princess Monica of Euphoria," answered Phoebe.
"Oh I know!" exclaimed Rachel. "I think she looks great!" Her fake smile softened into a slight frown. After a moment of silence she asked, "But I'm still prettier, right?" Hell no! Of course I didn't say this out loud. You did not want Princess Rachel as an enemy. She had a twisted bitchy side only a few 'privileged' people have seen.
"Of course you are," I lied through my teeth.
"I always preferred blonds," agreed Phoebe. Rachel nodded her head satisfied. "So what's up, Rach?"
"Oh, umm...the usual. I have some new sketches. I thought we could maybe pick some violets in Central Forest and make a dye for the silk. Oh yeah, and the Dumb Duke Barry of Dork is still kissing my father's ass." She said all this simply, without so much as blinking.
"I thought he was from York?" asked Phoebe. Rachel looked at her incredulously.
"Wait, what?" I did a double-take.
"Yeah, Maggie was cleaning the air conditioning vents and overheard their conversation. Apparently he's a smooth talker..." Rachel sighed. "He's got my father wrapped around his stubby little finger...Oooh!"
"Wow...I'm sorry about Barry and all," I began, "but I wasn't referring to that. You said you wanted to go to Central Forest! Do you KNOW what's inside Central Forest?!"
"Yeah," replied Phoebe. "Trees and stuff."
"STUFF?!" I said exasperated. "There are DRAGONS in there! As pathetic and meaningless my life is I REFUSE to end it as a Dragon's appetizer!"
"Oh come on, Chandler!" she whined. "You know how I hate ready-made dyed silk! It fades so easily!" The annoying ring of her voice nearly shattered my eardrum. The thought of Rachel being swallowed by a Dragon entered my mind. A slow smile crept onto my face. The risk almost seemed worth it. I pushed it aside.
"No! If something happens to you, who are they going to blame? ME! It's bad enough that your father is mean, but he's a mean KING. He'll probably have me hanged...or worse, I'll have to spend eternity with Crazy Malloy!" I shuddered at the thought. "If you go...I'm...I'm..."
"You'll what?!" threatened Rachel.
"I'll tell on you!!" I threatened back.
"Fine! Then I'll just say you tricked me into going!" Rachel said icily. "Who would he believe, Chandler? It'd be my word against yours..."
"You wouldn't!" I said, shocked. Her gaze locked onto mine. Damnit. She would. "Phoebe can I borrow your Dad's fire-resistant jacket?" I mumbled.
****************
Phoebe parked her car at the side of the road. There was a dirt pathway that led into the forest. As manly as I am, I'm first a gentleman, so I let Phoebe and Rachel walk ahead of me. Who am I kidding, I was scared shitless. If any Dragons popped out, they'd be eaten first, which gave me time to run away.
About after a half an hour of hiking, we approached a clearing. We were surrounded by gorgeous wild flowers and a peaceful brook.
"Wow..." breathed Phoebe. "I've never been to this part of the forest before...and I come here all the time. How'd I miss this?"
"What? You come here all the time, Pheebs?" asked Rachel.
"Yeah, I practice incantations here every full moon," she answered.
"But Pheebs, Utopia doesn't allow witchcraft," said Rachel.
"Duh! Why do you think I practice it here?!" Before Rachel said anything else, I stopped her.
"Let it go, Rach. At least she's not practicing voodoo..."
"That's what you think..." Phoebe murmured quietly.
"What?!?!" I yelled.
"Kidding! Geez! Pull the stick out of your ass already!"
"What kind of incantations do you practice Pheebs?" asked Rachel curiously.
"Oh the simple stuff: good health, fidelity, peace, immortality," she replied matter-of-factly.
"I see..." Rachel said unsurely. Just then, we heard a loud, male voice, crying out for help not too far from us. I had the feeling he was running away, or perhaps being eaten, by a Dragon. My first instinct was to climb up a tree and hide. As the voice drew closer, I started to jump around frantically. The girls didn't know what to do. We all basically just stayed in the same place and freaked out.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried a man running toward us from the trees. He had on a suit of armor. Damnit. He was a Knight. I needed to get the hell out of there. If a Royal Knight was racing full speed, while screaming at the top of his lungs like a little girl, there was no need for me to act brave. Then, we saw what he was running from.
"Don't let it get me!!!!" cried the man as he hid behind me. A little baby Dragon, about the size of a Chihuahua dog, was gleefully hopping after him, not too far behind. My fears were eased. I knew baby Dragons were harmless. They're not able to breathe fire, have full eyesight, or fly until they're about 3 years old and well over 6 feet tall. I assumed the Knight did not know this. I tried not to laugh. Phoebe went up to the dragon and began to pet it. The Knight watched her, afraid. "Be careful!"
"It's alright, man," I assured him. "Baby Dragons can't hurt you."
"OWWWW!" yelled Phoebe. Unfortunately I was wrong. It bit her finger. "You little-" she began. Rachel shooed the Dragon away and took a look at Phoebe's finger. It was bleeding, but not so badly. Rachel pulled out her handkerchief and tied it around Phoebe's finger. The Knight still hid behind me until the baby Dragon was out of sight.
"Phew! That was close!" He wiped the perspiration from his face with his hand. "Glad I was here to protect you guys!" Rachel looked at him in disbelief. "Anyways, you guys shouldn't be out here in the first place."
"Then what were you doing here?" asked Phoebe.
"I'm allowed to be here," he replied. "I'm a Royal Knight of King Geller's court."
"King Geller?" I asked. "We're not in Euphoria!"
"I know that!" he reasoned. "I'm on a top secret assignment for the King and I was stationed in the forest..." We continued to stare at him, not believing a single word. "Okay fine. There are these AMAZING buttery flavored alfalfa sprouts that taste perfect in pastrami sandwiches and they only grow here in the forest. I was hungry!" Rachel, Phoebe and I exchanged 'oh I get it' glances. "We should let someone take a look at that bite, though," he suggested. "Prince Ross is an expert with Dragon stuff, I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking a look..."
"Wait, Prince Ross?" asked Rachel. I noticed her voice shook. "That means we'll have to go to the palace! They'll recognize me! My father will kill me if he finds out where I've been!"
"Hey..." noticed the Knight. "You're Princess Rachel Green from Utopia! I knew you looked familiar! You just looked different with the hat and sunglasses on. Plus, you're not wearin' one of them frilly gowns."
"Yeah, that's me," she grumbled.
"I'm Chandler Bingspeare," I said.
"Hey you're that cool playwright guy! I love your stuff man! That last play was classic! With the 6 friends! It was hilarious watching them having trouble getting ready for that Ball! And that 'Joey' character! How cool is he?!" I smiled appreciatively and tried not to let it get to my head.
"And I'm Lady Phoebe Bouffe."
"Hey..." It was as if he noticed her for the first time. He took her hand and kissed it gently. "How You Doin'?" Phoebe giggled uncontrollably.
"And you are...?" inquired Rachel.
"Oh, sorry! How rude of me, you're Highness." He knelt down. "I'm Sir Joseph Tribianni, loyal Knight to King Geller of Euphoria."
"Please get up," Rachel pleaded. "That really isn't necessary." Joey got up abruptly.
"Well, we really should get her finger checked out. It might get infected or something," said Joey.
"But isn't there a way we could meet up with him WITHOUT going to the palace?" asked Rachel.
"Umm...well I guess I could just call him and ask him to meet us somewhere," suggested Joey.
"Yeah," agreed Rachel. "I like that idea a lot better."
"Do any of you have a cell phone?"
"I've got one," answered Phoebe.
"Great." Joey began to dial. Little did we know how much that phone call would change the rest of our lives...
To be continued!