Characters, world and backstory belong to Squaresoft, of course. The rest is mine.

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Chapter 3 - Training

Squall crossed the floor in measured steps, swinging his gunblade in even arcs, right, down, centre; left, down, centre. Each move balanced him, calmed him, helped him to concentrate. At the end of the hall he stopped, brought his blade to centre, closed his eyes, paused. Then he turned, a simple, economical movement, and made his way back, eyes fixed on the emergency light above the door at the other end.

He came here every day when he could, to focus himself. The gunblade training hall was usually quiet: it was a hard weapon to learn and only a few cadets chose to specialise in it. More since Squall's fame had spread, but still he was often able to train alone here in the early morning, as he had for most of his life.

Today, however, he was not alone. As he reached the end of his routine he realised a young woman was watching him closely, her lips moving silently as she memorised his moves.

He sheathed his gunblade and nodded to her. "Cadet."

"Commander." She flushed beetroot, and saluted weakly. He felt he ought to say something encouraging to her, but was embarrassed by her admiration. He hadn't got used to the fact that everyone knew who he was, and continually sought his approval and advice. He had often been told he was a loner; even more so since his sudden promotion and victory over Ultimecia.

"Commander, can I ask you a question?"

He nodded.

"Well, it's... kind of... personal."

"Okay." Squall fought down a sense of panic at what she might ask.

"Did you ever think of giving up?"

He had to consider for a moment what she might mean. Then it dawned on him. "What, the gunblade?"

She nodded.

"No..." he scanned her name badge, "... Frila, I can't say I ever did. Are you having trouble?"

"Well, yes. My instructor says I just haven't got it."

"Is that exactly what she said?"

"Well... she said I didn't have the dedication. And I was watching you just now and you seemed so... I couldn't imagine you ever missing practice, or thinking of giving up."

"No, I never have." ~Oh fuck,~ thought Squall, ~if Rinoa was here she'd be telling me I was tackling this all wrong~ "but.. um.. I'm sure it'll be okay." ~Oh great, yeah, that sounds convincing. Not.~ "Look, I'm probably not the best person to advise you," she looked disappointed, "but as you asked me, this is what I think. Don't worry about it. Take some time off, see your friends, relax. Come back to the gunblade when you're ready. When you've got a reason."

"Really?" Her face lit up. "And I can still be as good as you?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. But it won't matter. You'll find loads of stuff you're good at. Believe me."

"Thank you, Commander. I feel so much better."

"You're welcome."

He felt quite happy with himself, as she rushed out of the hall, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Although there might be some explaining to do to her instructor later.

It had been different for him. When he was training as a cadet there was always Seifer, constant and menacing competition. Their rivalry had driven him to practice when the other cadets were fooling around and playing practical jokes on their instructors, to get up earlier, even on rest days, to train. Squall hated the word 'loner'; it reminded him of that time, a long period in his life when he shut everyone else out and tried to live alone, not letting anyone near him. He knew some people still thought of him as that person; to this day he didn't find it easy to open up, even to his friends. Fortunately they didn't seem to mind: they teased him, and he knew he infuriated them sometimes, but they were always there. He fought all the time against his self-protective pessimism, a tendency to expect everyone he loved to go away. The tendency that meant he couldn't let Rinoa get too close, for fear of losing her. He lived in constant danger of letting his guard down, just for an instant, and allowing himself to love her.

That was where his focus came from, now that Seifer was gone. He couldn't have explained to the cadet that his dedication and mastery of the gunblade came from channeling all the love and attention he could so easily have lavished on Rinoa into practicing his art. That whenever he felt tempted to go talk to her, open up to her, get involved in her life, he came here instead, and worked, until the moment had passed and the cloudiness in his brain had passed.

Even so, for all the distance he kept between them, she was there all the time. He'd watched her as she made her home in Garden, as she'd gone through her own training, learned to control her power. He'd been proud of her achievements. She was clever, and determined...

~Damn. There I go again. How can I be a loner, when my head is full of people?~

* * * * * * *

As Squall strode off for a shower, Zell was watching Rinoa and Irvine, stopwatch in hand. He noted with pride how well Rinoa was fighting: continually alert and ready, more than competent with weapons but exceptional with magic. Of course, she was a sorceress, he reminded himself, but it wasn't just her power.

He seethed gently as Irvine stood close behind her, guiding her hands through a series of moves. Zell was by nature a hothead, and by his own estimation pretty crap with women. He envied Irvine's easy charm and wit with the opposite sex, but most of all he envied his relationship with Riona, whom Zell adored. As much as Zell loved his friends (and he loved them a good deal, after all they'd been through together), he was exasperated by Irvine and Squall's failure to accept Rinoa's love. Although he would always be jealous of whoever won her heart, it was the squandered chances that got to him. Irvine could, and if gossip was to be believed, often did have his pick of the women wherever he went. Squall attracted groupies without even trying or, for that matter, noticing. Zell, meanwhile, blushed and stammered whenever he came within speaking distance of a girl, and had fallen in love first with a librarian who, it turned out, had really just wanted to use him get to know Quistis, and now with the most unattainable woman in Garden. Life wasn't fair.

"Come on, Irvine, stop touching her up and let her get on with it!"

Irvine immediately let go of Rinoa and jumped back. "Just showing her the moves, man!" He winked at Rinoa.

"You're not even a martial artist, you're a sniper, for fuck's sake. You don't know any moves. Now get on with it, we've only got an hour."

Rinoa smiled to herself. She had regained her early morning good humour, thanks largely to Irvine's patience and outrageous flirting. With him by her side and Zell clucking devotedly around her, she started to feel very strong.

She saw the T-Rex plunging through the undergrowth before either of the men. She cleared her mind, pulling her will to form a blizzard around the approaching monster.

"That's it, Rin," whispered Irvine, following her gaze to see the huge dinosaur approaching, "chill the fucker out."

Zell's temper finally snapped. He was Rinoa's instructor, after all, not Irvine. "No Rinoa! No magic! Show me you can do it without!"

Irvine spun round and stared at him incredulously.

"You can't rely on magic," Zell added, somewhat defensively, "you need to be able to fight too."

Rinoa shot him a worried look, but let her power dissipate. She gathered determination to take the place of her magic and concentrated, feeling Leviathan's presence in her mind, reassuringly alert and already feeding from the energy of the conflict. Calmly she drew her arm back, focusing on the vulnerable spot on the T Rex's neck, where she could sever the connection between its brain and body. She snapped forwards, hurling her pinwheel at the creature, a few shards of ice flowing with it, the remnants of her spell. It hit true: the monster staggered and gasped, but as she reached to catch her returning missile the T-Rex whirled round and hit her with the full force of its tail. Winded, she sank to the floor, but her eyes remained on her weapon, and she caught it even as she went down. Resisting the urge to lie down and pass out, she forced air into her gasping lungs and rolled as Zell had taught her. The T-Rex was bleeding profusely, but she'd missed the magic spot. For a second she felt a flash of fear as she realised that her enemy was now not only hungry but enraged, hurt and very, very pissed off with her.

"Ignore this dickhead, Rinoa! Use your magic!" Irvine yelled, and she heard the panic in his voice. He was right, of course. This was no time to get killed by a dinosaur, not just before her exams. She suddenly hated the T-Rex with all her heart. It had come very close to ruining her day. ~Well, fuck you, monster.~

She drew herself up and gathered her strength. As the creature lunged for her again, drooling from it's huge mouth in anticipation of tasting her vulnerable flesh, she hurled a ball of ice so huge it not only knocked the beast over like a skittle but went on to crash into the wall of the Training Centre, with such force it sent a crack running up from floor to ceiling.

The T Rex sighed its last, huge carcass flopping to the ground with a mighty thud.

Irvine caught Rinoa in a huge bear hug. "Way to go sorceress!"

She shrugged him off angrily. "Don't call me that," she snapped and strode over to Zell, so menacingly that he found himself taking a step backwards.

"Why did you do that?"

Zell sincerely wanted to crawl away and hide somewhere. He couldn't believe he'd put her in danger just because Irvine had pissed him off. But he had.

"I'm sorry, Rinoa," he fought the desire to simply confess and beg her forgiveness, "I thought you could handle it."

She looked astonished. "What? Answer me this, Zell Dincht: could you fucking handle a T-Rex without magic?"

"No, of course... I didn't mean..."

"I don't fucking believe you. I don't believe you could do this to me, today of all days. You're my instructor! You're supposed to help me!"

"Rinoa... " Zell couldn't look at her, he was miserable and speechless.

Irvine touched her gently on the shoulder. "Rinoa, here's your bag. Let's go to the quad. We can go through some tai chi routines." His voice was soothing.

"Thank you." Rinoa took her bag, glared at Zell and turned to go. "Oh," she added as an afterthought over her shoulder, "don't bother turning up at the Fire Cavern this afternoon, either. I don't want you to support me. I'll find someone else."

"I was going to tell you," said Zell in a small voice, "they changed the rules. The examiners decide who should support you. They think it's fairer."

"What?" Rinoa felt tears threatening: much as she was mad with Zell now, the idea of facing the Caverns with someone else, maybe someone she didn't know, was disturbing beyond belief. She needed air. She turned and ran.

Irvine glared at Zell, who was slumped against a tree, breathing hard. "Way to go, Dincht," he muttered, with a shake of his head, and ran after Rinoa.

* * * * * * *

By the time Rinoa reached the quad she had calmed down a little, and the tears had gone. She flopped down on a bench; Irvine sat beside her.

"Fuck, Irvine, could today get any worse?"

"Exams suck," said Irvine. "When I took my first field exam at Galbadia I was convinced I would shoot an examiner. Snipers have to do this blindfold shot, and I had nightmares about it for weeks. But it was okay. I passed the exam, didn't kill anyone and by the next morning I wondered what all the fuss was about."

She gave him a little smile. "I'm being pretty horrible today, aren't I?"

"Of course not. Anyway, you're allowed, today."

She sighed. "I don't suppose Zell meant to..." she frowned, "actually, what was Zell trying to do?"

Irvine shrugged. "He probably has his reasons, although I personally thought it was a stupid idea. Are you okay, Rin? Really? That T-Rex caught you a pretty hard swipe."

"I'm fine, thanks." She stroked the back of her hand absentmindedly across her cheek, where its tail had stung her. "It just made me mad, more than anything." She dropped her face into her hands with a deep sigh, "oh fuck, Irvine. I want today to be over."

"Cheer up," Irvine soothed, stroking her hair softly. "You'll be fine."

"Irvine," she said, her voice muffled through her fingers, "why hasn't Squall been around this morning?"

Irvine paused, brushing her hair back from her face, smoothing it down her back. "I don't know, Rin. He must be busy with, you know, leader stuff."

"I guess."

"Come on. Let's do some tai chi." He pulled her to her feet. "Follow me."

He started to move, and she did as he asked, mirroring the calming arcs of his hands with her own. Comforted, she found she could follow Irvine without watching his hands at all, gazing instead into his deep, green eyes. She breathed deeply; it was like dancing without music, free but controlled movement, exploring the synchronicity between their bodies.

He slowed to a stop, their hands met and made a last circle, came to rest between them, centred. She leaned forwards a little, drawn close by the warmth of his eyes. Closer and she could feel his breath on her face; closer and their foreheads touched. Her heartbeat quickened, he smelt of leather and outdoors, a loose strand of his long auburn hair tickled her nose. Very, very softly, his mouth touched hers and they were kissing, a gentle, languid, sensual kiss that came out of nowhere and brought all of Rinoa's senses alive.

Eventually he pulled back, his tongue leaving a trace of moisture on her lips, his hand at the back of her neck, teasing the ticklish spot under her hair.

"Wow," he whispered, opening in his eyes. "Oh, God. Oh, Rinoa, I'm sorry."

"No." She gently stroked his face with one fingertip. "Don't be sorry. You know that I..."

"Squall, yes, of course, and, you know, Selphie..." guilt shot through him like a flame. Rinoa nodded.

"I don't know what happened," she said, "but it was, um..."

"Shh..." he held her for a moment. "I know."

Rinoa hugged him back, resisting the urge to kiss his neck, his ear, fighting to get her body back under control. She could see why Irvine did so well with women. "I've got to get to the exam room."

"Of course. Let me walk with you."

"Okay." Rinoa took a deep breath and pulled her bag onto her shoulder with trembling hands. She could sort things out with Irvine later. Now she just had to get her written test out of the way. Then the Fire Cavern. Then it would be over.

"Are you nervous?"

"No, thanks, I'm fine, really."

~ Yeah, fine. Just as horny as hell. ~

Rinoa pushed open the swing doors and strode down the hall to her fate.

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